The Luke and Pete Show - Don't Feed Your Kids Batteries

Episode Date: February 15, 2021

On today’s show, Viking Luke and Musketeer Donaldson explore American vs British recipes and what not to feed your children. Also on this episode, Luke and Pete share some of their food guru idols...Elsewhere, Luke tells us what he’s been doing to ease lockdown headaches and Pete shares his peculiar reality TV ice skating plans. Don’t miss out!Get involved by emailing us over at [e-mail] or dropping us a follow on Instagram/Twitter - @lukeandpeteshow. Oh, and if you've read this far down, give us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your pods. 5 stars will do. Cheers! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

it's the luke and pete show it is monday the 15th of february i'm pete donaldson i'm joined by luke moore luke how the fucking shit are you sunshine that's accurate that's how it feels yeah that's how it feels but i'm doing all right i'm doing okay um yeah no mean, to be honest, lockdown is just getting a complete pain in the arse now. But I don't think people listening to this want to hear that. So I'm going to gloss over it and say I'm doing bloody fine. Thank you very much for asking. How are you, Mr. Musketeer, man? How's you?

I'm furious. Jim Campbell from the Football Ramble. Campbell from the Ramble. I was doing a show with him this morning with Kate and he has shaved off his beard part of his ensemble and now he's just got a big moustache. Now that was going to be my out, but I've got a spot on my chin

and I don't want people to see it. Nightmare. Yeah, he looks great. We say this every week now. He looks great. I think he looks so good that if he gets to look any better, we're going to have to invite him on this show

to give us the secrets of the pharaohs. How does he actually do it? Talk us through Jim Campbell because he used to be a nightmare and now he looks great. Yeah. Just have a year off stand-up by the sounds of it. He's the most improved player, Pete. He's Gospel Vikings' most improved player,

which I think is an award I might have won at one point. What's the name of your youth team that you played football for? weren't into football when you were a kid were you no i mean the first football team i played for was brian honors soccer club in the summer we used to play a bit of that every now and again yeah disappointing viking oh and you look a bit like a viking well. That kind of works. They played in gold and black, and I started playing for them under nines. Full-size pitch. Full-size pitch. Absolutely ridiculous looking back at it now. 1989.

I didn't think anything different, no. No. Speaking of Vikings, did you see that Ted Cruz has got himself a cheeky little alt-right Viking cut? What, haircut? Yeah. What does haircut? Yeah. What does it look like? If you've not seen it, look, give us a little treat,

type it into your little computer, Ted Cruz haircut, you will be astonished at the results. You'll be surprised what the results are. What's he done that for? It's a mullet it's a little it's a little it's a little it's a little

ice hockey hair isn't it it's a little forbidden hair I'm just going from the song of vandals what's your theory I think it's

the tip of the hat a little bit of a dog whistly whistle to his alt-right bredren but he's a man

of advancing years who's grown um gladstone style mutton chops and he's and he's setting it off lovely with an undercut it's just an astonishing bit of hair work and it's ted cruz the notable non-masturbator yeah well he said he claims to be a non-masturbator wasn't it it was debunked by his roommate at college. So if he's tipping his hat to the alt-right with that haircut, I mean, I feel like I must ask this question on behalf of our listenership. Who are you tipping your hat to? The Iberian conquistadors of Europe. I was going to take some kind of Victor Hugo-esque protagonist, surely.

And also, Peter, now we record this with the old video format, I can see two things which I can't normally see. One is I can see myself in your glasses, which is unsettling. And second, I can see the occasional cargo past in the background. Oh, yes, you can because there's a race. Because there's kind of two levels outside my room there's like my room my office my spare bedroom where i'm banished from and my things my trinkets are allowed to live here um behind us there's like a kind of like

there's a raised road that goes behind the house over the road and um yeah i just often think that if someone stopped at any point they could just look over into this room at any point during the day or night and see you masturbating, see the picture of the image of you reflected in my glasses, reflected in my webcam. Yeah, it's all a bit meta. So on today's Luke and Pete show, which is, as ever, the companion to everyday life in lockdown, and we should make it absolutely clear that we are doing absolutely nothing different

to anyone listening, unless you're a frontline worker, which we salute you and you're out and about doing stuff. And good on you keeping the country afloat. I'm not talking to you, Mr. Head of Wetherspoons, moaning again today. I'm talking about the proper frontline workers. We are sat at home doing absolutely nothing, which, as you can probably imagine, makes it remarkably hard to do a two-hour, two-half-an-hour shows about what we've been up to.

But I will say this, Pete Donaldson. I will say this. I saw something earlier today that five kids' doctors, they're called pediatricians, but in these straighton times, that can be misconstrued. Right, okay. I was thinking of the kid doctor, not Dr. Chivago. What's his name? Doogie Howser.

Doogie Howser. How can you confuse Doogie Howser with Dr. Chivago? Both qualified. Both very qualified. Doogie Howser was not involved, but I did see five paediatricians who, I think, I'm not going to be out of order here because I've got to be sensitive, but they did a video for the BBC website

where each of the five of them swallowed a piece of Lego and saw how long it took to come out the other end. And I'm thinking, we're in the middle of a health crisis here. If your boss finds out you're doing that, that is going to be remarkably poorly received. Yeah, what if they have to have an operation to get it removed? I mean, it's very brave of them. Did they lather it up with Vaseline first?

Wasn't mentioned. No accelerants allowed? Say again? Curry. There was no kind of accelerants allowed? Curry, coffee, anything like that? Thankfully, the word accelerant wasn't used at all um they they all swallowed a lego head right and um monitored how long it took to pass it and it was part of a

kind of public health messaging i guess that if your child swallows a lego head which is really small worry about it yeah because it's generally fine and the average time it took to pass through the body was 1.7 days however however the main guy running the experiment and presenting to camera for the bbc website said he never actually found his lego man head because he reckons he was too anxiously, quickly looking through his poo to find it, and he must have missed it. What was he doing? Was he attacking it with, like, a broom handle?

Why did he have such vigour in separating wheat from chaff? Maybe his poo was like that Triceratops poo in Jurassic Park. I've been through both of these, but this is getting tedious. It's literally like trying to find a lego man head in a poo stack maybe a late maybe lego man head connected to a lego man body inside him maybe he's got past um he's got past he's got previous on this i don't know look with with the knowledge in my mind that we may or may not be working with the good people from lego in the near future let's move on but that's fine fair enough but what i want to say is this do kids swallow things these days because it was all the rage when i was a kid people were swallowing shit all the time ball

bearings everything you know i was chewing stuff i'm always biting stuff i'm always swallowing stuff i don't think i ever swallowed anything that I couldn't retrieve myself, so to speak. What does that mean? Either from the top or the bottom. I don't think there's anything I could swallow that kind of – I mean, if you chowed down on one of those long stickle bricks, I think you'd be in trouble. There's a lot of trailing legs on that.

They're stickle bricks, for crying out loud. And it'd probably be quite painful to pass. But yeah, Lego, perfect shape. I'm trying to think. Marbles, I think. I could probably get a few marbles to help me before it costed. That's what I'm saying. So the marbles, I can remember, right, marble.

I remember going to a friend's house and playing marbles. And, you know, if you don't know what a marble is when you listen to this because you're too young then google it but I remember mate honestly I'm not joking I remember playing with my mate's marbles

and maybe three of them were coloured a certain way because he had swallowed them and shut them out again but they had just

been disinfected and back into the collection what did your body do I mean bearing in mind that we're talking about glass scratchy glass you know when you used to like get a load of marbles and your hands and go like that Would your body do... I mean, bearing in mind that we're talking about glass, scratchy glass, you know, you used to get a lot of marbles and your hands are going like that.

Scratchy glass. I mean, would your body do any damage to it, really? Would it discolour it, really? If it's been cleaned properly, it wouldn't discolour it, I don't think. Well, apparently the big issue vis-à-vis kids swallowing stuff is your batteries. Oh, yes.

We talk batteries a lot on this show. Little button batteries, little flat batteries. You don't want your kid to be swallowing that because that can cause serious damage, and they are quite swallowable. So be careful is what I'm saying. Don't feed your kids batteries. Look, we are the Luke and Pete Show.

We are obsessed with battery brands, battery names, but also battery safety. So just look after yourselves, all right? How long is it going to be? I want to know. Yeah, same, 100%. Hello at LukeandPetra.com. I also want to know how long it's going to be before a superior alien race

harvests us and starts using us for batteries. Good point. If you were going to be a battery what kind of battery would you be well there's there was a guy who's and and he's a very well respected um scientist uh i think he's for out of harvard and uh he's called avi lobe and he um i think it's avi lobe yeah he's a theoretical physicist right it's not my favorite but very good he he claims even though and this is the thing see when people are piping up about the fact that they've already been visited by aliens or that they've already visited the earth and all the rest of it people just dismiss

it don't they they say this is the work these are the words of it. People just dismiss it, don't they? They say, this is the work. These are the words of a crank, of an idiot. Well, Avi Loeb, who's a theoretical physicist at Harvard and actually quite well respected in the intellectual community, has claimed that same thing. Oh, yeah, aliens have definitely visited. We just don't really know how to find them. Now, when he says it, all of a sudden, people take it serious. Oh, just because he's got a doctorate, like Dr. Chivago,

or let's not forget Doogie Howser, MD. I don't remember Doogie Howser very much. Do you remember it? It's kind of a thing where the name is remembered more than the show itself. Yeah, because he became an older boy and was in How I Met Your Mother, I think. Right. And he was in... I haven't seen that either. He was in It I Met Your Mother, I think. Right. And he was in... I haven't seen that either.

He was in It's a Sin recently. So there you go. People are raving about that as well, aren't they? Oh, mate, it is emotional. Really, the script, as you'd expect from that chap, I haven't watched a lot of Doctor Who sort of stuff. I don't really know his stuff. I remember Queer as Folk.

Who is it, Russell T Davies? Yeah, I've watched Queer as Folk and then I've watched this and everything in between I couldn't give a shit about. This is very good. Russell T Davies, yeah. But, yeah, some really well-rounded depictions of people and a lot of obvious and not so obvious parallels with the whole COVID thing uh you know the the the whole um uh covid the whole

covid uh thing we've had uh now it's uh it's really how people you know don't believe it believe certain people get it some believe some other people get it there's kind of like truthers and stuff like that it's uh yeah it's really really fascinating beautifully done you will cry your bloody eyes out look more so get on it get all right i'll give it a go um interesting fact for you out there trivia fans that the the chap who composed the on the continent theme tune blair moat is also a composer on doctor who oh there you go a um what do you call that an organ some kind of organ, isn't it?

An accordion. Yeah, there's a bit of accordion in there, yeah, a bit of violin, yeah. Beautiful. Yeah, it's good. Peter, I was going to say to you something. I saw a story earlier which I thought was right up your street. So you know that in some parts of the US, and specifically with this story I'm talking about the state of California,

to the u.s and specifically with this story i'm talking about the state of california that um police officers are now um they are expected to wear uh body cameras right yeah to film what happens and um and what will happen a lot now in in the u.s is that people when they have an encounter with the police they will start filming the cat encounter themselves on their mobile phones right yeah and um through i think it probably varies by state but through a number of different laws i don't know if the police can stop people actually filming on their phones and stuff but listen to this you'll like this because it's horrific but it's also very clever what some police apparently has been reported in california have started doing is playing music out of their car the entire time things are happening so that it gets immediately shared when it gets immediately shared it gets

taken down by the twitter or instagram algorithm what do you think about that i've have you seen the video of this perfect like there's somebody was obviously caught on camera doing this. And they do it quite a lot now. Yeah, there's this worm of a policeman, basically just not really sort of like interested. This guy's like being quite civil with him. And he's going, listen, can you just give us the form and it fell in to do this thing. And he just starts like being really standoffish,

but playing Sublime's track Santeria at full volume on his phone. And then later on, he's seen outside doing the exact same thing. And all the while, the guy's trying to stand back so he doesn't catch Santeria by Sublime playing, which is a banger and should not be tainted by this story.

And if you go in any bar in anywhere south of Houston or Dallas, you hear it pretty fucking constantly. But it's a banger. And yeah, this guy's playing it. And the guy's kind of moving away so he doesn't pick up the audio. So the guy's going, why are you doing this?

Why are you playing that song so that I get copyright struck? And he's going, what? I can't hear you. I can't hear you. This man is the defender of the base. This is the man. He's supposed to be a policeman. To protect and serve.

Yeah, honestly. Absolutely pathetic. To protect and to serve. You up an amazing slice of pop punk, which you may or may not want. I just thought it was quite interesting um like 21st century story like oh it's very clever yeah you have to kind of hand the credit out to the horrific individuals purporting to do this kind of thing um speaking of um speaking of that

i was on my computer earlier and I have started to watch. So basically, I don't know if anyone listening has had this, but there's a phenomenon that's apparently been doing the rounds, which is this lockdown headaches thing. Have you heard about it? No, what's this? So the idea is it's kind of related to your posture or to the fact that you've got a lot more screen time than before

and that you're not commuting to work, so you're not getting a break from your screen. So people are starting to get headaches. And I've started to get them. I've had like probably four in the last few weeks, which is unlike me because I'm normally very well hydrated. But I started to get them. And as a result, I felt like I need to take regular breaks away from my screen.

But when I come back to my screen, I occasionally have a TV on the corner. You can probably see it behind me, Peter. And do you know what I've been putting on? This is a very long-winded, elongated way of saying that I've been putting relaxing, calming, stress-free TV on the TV. And I stumbled across the most recent Rick Stein series. And it is absolutely tremendous have you seen it i haven't but is this not just too distracting what what what makes it so chill

out chilled if i'm having a break or whatever so realistically i'm a 21st century boy so i'm not just gonna sit there eating my lunch just staring out the window yeah yeah so where the the actual relaxing things relax i put um i put like a little bit of uh quiet volume on i put a bit of rick stein and he's he's traveling around cornwall he's cooking up a lobster crab um yeah or a crab actually he's throwing a crab at the wall he He's attacking a window with a cricket bat. Yeah, and something I find really relaxing is seeing how many crabs Rick Stein can smash with a hammer in a minute.

And if you like it, please subscribe to my YouTube channel. The Stone Cold Steiner. Yeah. Smashing crabs up. You hate the TV field field food on tv you hate the fetishization of food so that's why i brought it to the table literally uh now i am in a house that um there's someone else uh that i'm trying to impress with my cooking i do you have access to occasionally a woman i have access to god that sounds even worse than the dog one. I will occasionally flirt with food television,

but luckily more like food recipe websites and stuff. And there's a marked difference, and it's probably been pointed out a million times, but the difference between American recipes and British recipes, very, very different. British recipes say, you like this? It's fucking dinner. Here's the bits you put in the pan and you cook it for this amount of time

and the food comes out. Americans, they write like, I was first in Tuscany in the decade of 1989. The sun was in the east and I rose to a great breakfast of bread we're not going to be talking about that bread though I first met my wife in 1993 it's like just get to the fucking like you could be writing anything I'm not reading it

Jesus do you know what my husband's favourite food is it's eggs do you know what my husband's second favourite food is it's pineapple his third favourite food is? It's pineapple. His third favorite food is spaghetti bolognese and his fourth is lamb, but we're going to be cooking beef today.

Obviously, I share the house. The lady I have access to is obviously from, we're going to continue this theme, obviously is from America. She has brought with her a, I don't know what the collective noun is for cookbooks, quart of american cookbooks over and they've all got that in it you're right one recipe in each of them i think food tv though is a good relaxing thing it's a great it's a great

thing to have particularly you've got someone like rick stein who let's be absolutely clear he's living the life he is living the life that all of us should aspire to when we hit his age i think he what is he late 60s probably maybe 70 if you're doing what he's doing when you're 70 you're having a lovely time well is there i think there's there's two uh kind of lifestyle gurus um food and drink wise that i kind of subscribe to um it's vish from the football ramble and lon robert the footballer um they're both they're both just constantly eating nice food, drinking the best wines and running. Hang on a sec. Let me clear this up.

I cannot vouch for Lauren Robert. So you're on your own with him. Vish, what you've just described there is a man with absolutely ridiculous patterns because he's up early doing cricket coverage at like two in the morning and he gets pissed all the time and buys takeaway food.

That's what you're talking about. That for you is your food guru. He drinks great wines. He never puts it on his main feed, but he puts it on his Instagram stories and it's just loads of good wine. He's gone back to playing his Merindangam. Merindangam. He was telling us about his Merindangam. You know, like the drum. Like a kind of...

You hear them at weddings quite a lot. I'll play a bit. Merindangam. That's a vibe. Isn't it? It's good. It's got like... Each individual finger has a... It's like ten drummers are drumming at the same time. It's crazy.

Is that going to sort my headache out? Because at the moment, only Rick Stein will do the trick. Get Vich next time you're out in the office with him. Yeah. You know, get him to drum on your head. He's got very rhythmic fingers.

That'd be brilliant. He's got very strong fingers. Pete, what's your, what's your, what's your kind of a secret to removing a headache? I have been... My partner likes to watch a show about...

Is it like first day weddings or something? You get married on the first day. Married at first sight? Married at first sight Australia. You call it first day weddings. I reckon one day you might get the name of something right by accident first day wedding your name is fucking terrible look i've been on the computer all day i'm tired um yeah first day weddings you know australia

aussie style yeah um yeah she's been watching a bit of that and i've just been playing football manager um and i never played football manager but she was watching that and i was like all right well i don't necessarily want to give that six even 60 of my attention but the problem is it's so addictive and so watchable and everyone's either a farmhand or an absolute psychopath uh and they're just they're just like there's gigantic men who were grown in grain silos and left for the big smoke. And these women who, some of which are lovely, but there's one in particular who's very much taken it on herself to become the nasty Nick of married for the first time, first day Australia. And she's laying on way too thick she's not that good an actor to to to take on the mantle of the world's most hated woman and she's not created creative enough

she's not worked on the character enough um and and she she's found wanting for me i don't i don't like her work but it's not for the reasons everybody else hates her it's for the reason that she hasn't put enough investment in crafting the world's most evil person if you had to do a um reality because the thing is what you're alluding to there is absolutely right because people who are going to be on reality tv now now know what's going to happen right they it attracts a certain type of individual who knows what they're in for whereas before it never used to do that and therefore for me it was more interested but if you were forced to go on a reality show what character would you adopt i would um i would go on dancing on ice and i would have i would get some kind of hot knees i would like i would i would get like battery powered like

really hot metal plated knees and i would slide on my knees, even when I wasn't asked to, and I would irreparably damage the ice, and the show would just have to stop because I'd fucked the ice up. Some people just want to watch the world melt. Melt slightly. And on that note, we're going to take an ad break, come back and do some of your emails. That is chilling, Pete Donaldson, but it's what we've come to expect from you.

It's the very reverse of chilling, clearly. Stakhanov's brand new show, My 7 Wonders with Clive Anderson, launches this Wednesday. Clive will be quizzing some of the world's most interesting celebrities, including Griff Rees-Jones and Shappi Korsandi, about their own personal

7 Wonders of the World. Join Clive and his first guest, Dara O'Brien, this Wednesday. Dara talks to Clive about his love for the Irish sport hurling and some of the extra benefits that come with owning a hurley stick. It's just pleasant to have a big stick in the house every so often. For home security, it's always nice to know that I have an arsenal if I need it. I'll bear that in mind if I'm tempted to burgle your house in the middle of the night. Just do it. Honestly, that's how I stand.

I stand naked with my Irish testicles dangling, challenging people. They discuss finding humour in quantum physics. It's like saying, is the cat dead or not? Would someone just open the box? Would someone just open the box? And discovering new passions during lockdown. Lockdown ran a schism, essentially, between the young comics who immediately went,

I must learn new skills. I must learn video editing at TikTok. And I must find new ways to bring my comedy to people. And the older comics went, their retirement's going to be all right, actually. That's the guy. Turns out, you know, it's not too bad. Search My 7 Wonders with Clive Anderson

on your favourite podcast player to hear the first episode this Wednesday. Oh, we're back. Hope you enjoyed the ad breaks and promotional materials from Mr. Carnov. Stable. I'm Pete, joined by Luke. We're going to get some of your emails if that's all right with you.

We sometimes don't have enough time to get through them, but we will this time. We'll give you a few. Yeah, I've got an email here from Stuart, and I'm speaking as one of said horses in that stable, although I probably need to be put out to the glue factory by now. Yeah. I was going to say sea, but that sounded a bit rude.

Studs is seed, isn't it? Yeah, but I think if you put a horse out to stud, it just ends up doing shagging all the time, doesn't it? Yeah, but it's not going out to seed, isn't it? Because out of seed is like looking terrible, isn't it? Is it? I've given up. I thought it was I've given up.

That's how my friend used to say I've gone to seed, and I thought it was like he'd given up. But then gone to seed must be a literal translation of going to stud surely i think so i think so i think i don't want to kind of attribute that to myself because it sounds rude um so glue factory it is right uh stewart has been in touch the glue is come i read stewart's email which has nothing to do with cum, because actually I've invested... I'm going to do that. I will link it somehow to cum. I've invested so much time in this email

by removing all the libel from it that I'm reading it. Okay, good on you. Because otherwise it's a waste. So this is from Stuart, who says, Hi, guys. I'm currently catching up with some shows and just listening to the episode where you guys talk about job inductions. Anyway, I'm from a place called south queens ferry just outside edinburgh and i've had tons of jobs from the age of 14 and when i turned 16 i received my national insurance card and went to get a quote

proper job this job happened to be a well-known sport shop in edinburgh i've changed the wording on that um i got the bus in one sat morning for my induction. And this induction was basically to read a massive manual that must have been a thousand pages long. And needless to say, I didn't read a single page of it. I just sat in the staff room. And when I say staff room, it was a cupboard with a couple of chairs and a microwave. 30 minutes later, the manager came in and gave me a sports, I can't say that either, gave me a T-shirt and said the next stage is to be on the shop floor helping the customers. This turned out to be on the tills on my own for four hours with no clue what was happening or how to use anything at all.

The reason I was on my own is because four other staff members had quit the day before, so it was me and the manager who just sat in the office doing nothing. Eventually, I just left the tills and went up to the office and said to the manager to come and help me. And he said no. So I handed him my T-shirt back and said, I'm leaving and walked out past a massive line of angry people

trying to buy golf balls and Lonsdale T-shirts. Needless to say, I didn't go as paid. That knocks it down, doesn't it? Needless to say, I kept that bit in to be cheeky. I didn't get paid for that induction either. And on a side note, Luke mentioned his phone is listening to him. At Christmas, my partner received a small batch of whiskey as a present. I've never heard of the brand, and we talked about it

without typing anything into our phones or computers, and the next day all over my Instagram was adverts for that same brand. They are always listening. Thanks for helping keep me sane. I'm not working at a sports shop anymore. Stuart. Well, I would like to, I mean, great story. I wonder how I would have dealt with that situation.

I probably would have tried my very best, fucked everything off, and said owner of shop may have sold my football club because of all of the money that I lost him that day. I used to work at it. Part of the reason, Pete, to read that email is because I also used to work at the sports shop, you know, and I thought it was great. Is that you giving like BBC balance, saying that you enjoyed your time at the sports shop?

We actually spoke to someone else from that sports shop stewart and he's had a lovely time and he's actually now assistant manager he got promoted because he worked hard so enjoy crying about it we'll collect it in a big oversized cup shall we yeah we were when i was at the sports shop i worked with a friend of mine mark you know he's done a lot of uh he works in press now he's done a lot of coverage for us of our shows down the years. And he was, he's a year older than me, and he was an app, like a terrible influence on me. I was just a Saturday boy, and he had been there longer.

And he would, honestly, he would literally, like, I know it sounds ridiculous. This is probably 1997, 98. So a long time ago now. But honestly, mate, he used to literally tell customers to fuck off to their face. He would be like, right, it's 5.30, fuck off.

I remember him once getting so pissed off with a customer that he legged it down the middle of the aisle of the shop and out of frustration, booted a massive stack of sports shorts off the shelf and a load of them hit a

kid in the face. He was absolutely off the chain. right? And a load of them hit a kid in the face. He was absolutely off the chain. He didn't care. He's doing really well now, but back then he was like, honestly, I found it very aspirational.

Apparel salesman. Yeah. He would literally, 5.30, go and grab the shirt at the front of the door, put it halfway down and go,

customers, fuck off. No more respect than they deserve in my humble opinion. That company's gone out of business by the way. Possibly related. I don't know. Good. Their hiring policies were very, very loose. Our mutual friend

by the name of David, it's not important what his second name is. It's not important to besmirch his good name by saying he listens to Luke and Pete Shaw. He did point out you were talking about your iPhone listening to you and serving you up adverts through things that it's heard. And I think we spoke about it maybe a couple of years ago and I poo-pooed it as being computationally just unable.

It just wouldn't work because you know you would need a data set of example sentences and words that's really really big and that can only be stored on a server somewhere in usually my favorite place to talk about servers iceland with the electricity a lot of zoom ones are in germany apparently oh really oh exciting, nice. Well, at least we can travel through our Zoom conversations. But it would be – the processors in your phone aren't fast enough to work it out reliably. It would just take too much data to send back and forth. So how is it happening then?

Well, it's not happening. It's just a lot of it is circumstantial evidence in many ways. Have you got your Tim 4 hat on or not? Because I don't want to be a lot of it is circumstantial evidence in many ways. Have you got your tinfoil hat on or not? Because I don't want to be a part of this if you haven't. It's tinfoil hat, but my head is smeared with conductive thermal paste. Paste. Yeah. But Cooper was asking me as if to go, you don't actually believe that.

You've now used his surname. You've now used his surname. Did I? Oh, shit. What was his point anyway his point was his point was his point was not that he was disappointed in you he was disappointed in me for agreeing with you that's how low you've sunken look that's how low you've sunken that's fair enough i think it's happening i think just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not really after you and I think by definition

there's lots of technology we don't learn about until later I'll leave it there good point leave it there good point shall we shuffle off

and come back on Thursday we've got so much stuff to get through on Thursday including what can only be described as chimpanzee on chimpanzee war

this has been the looking feature we'll be back on Thursday. That's going to be fucking brilliant. Come back for that. Get in touch. Hello at LukeandPeteShaw.com and find us on Instagram at LukeandPeteShaw.

I'll leave you with this. It's not every day you find out about a full-on chimpanzee war. And Thursday, we're going to go over the protagonist, the belligerent. This was a Stakhanov production and part of the ACAST Creative Network.