The Luke and Pete Show - Dr. Dodgy

Episode Date: July 18, 2024

Pete tried to get his teeth whitened in Soho but was forced to watch James Bond instead… Luke’s certain that he did not go to a real dentist.Plus, as if their love for wearable tech wasn’t nerdy enough, Pete’s in disbelief when Luke informs him of Maplin’s reincarnation.Email: [e-mail] or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram.***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the Luke and Pete show. It is Thursday the 18th of July. Welcome to Luke. Welcome to Pete. We're here to not necessarily entertain, we're here to waffle on. Luke on the previous show promised us a story about a man trepanning his own head. a story about a man trepanning his own head. Yeah, I realised I kind of already told it. Right. I can give you a bit of guilt, I can give you a bit of meat on the bones

if you like. So my friend lives slash lived, I can't remember if he's moved or not, but he lived, let's say lives, above,

so he lives in the top two floors of a townhouse in London. Yeah. And the guy who occupies the bottom floor, the kind of basement

flat floor, is this guy whose name I either don't know or can't remember, it's not important, but he's this older kind of Oxford Don type who was part of the counterculture

in the 60s. Yeah. And incredibly brainy, you know, world at his feet, kind of posh, public school, then Oxford. I think it's Oxford, it might be Cambridge, one of them, kind of posh public school then Oxford

I think it's Oxford it might be Cambridge one of them kind of type who then went on a bit of an academic career and then in the 60s became part of the

counterculture and he was writing these books about these different subjects as befitting his academic status but then he got really into LSD and acid

and stuff like that and then he decided to drill um into his own head into his skull create a um scar a hole in his head i mean that's basically known as tree panning isn't it people basically know what that is right yeah and it was like it was traditionally and historically done because people didn't really understand mental health issues i guess and they were talking about getting spirits to leave the head and all the rest of it but it has been shown i think through um some i think it does relieve headaches it does um exacerbate what can relieve headaches it can also exacerbate the feelings of psycho um active drugs i think right that was the that was the reason behind him doing it and then he of psychoactive drugs, I think.

Right. That was the reason behind him doing it. And then he wrote a book about it called something very matter-of-fact, like why I drilled a hole in my head to achieve a permanent high. And then obviously didn't become permanently high because now he lives in a basement flat

in South London somewhere doing odd jobs, I think. Very eccentric character, very kind of um tie-dye you know hessian blanket types but um he did genuinely um drill a hole in his own in his own head and when i was when i heard that story for the first time i looked it up and interestingly enough there's like a tradition of doing that in some cultures all the way back to like neolithic times like 5 000 years ago people were doing it like 5 000 years ago so they discovered how to do it like it's been found in south america and like sub-saharan africa and like medieval britain even like it's everywhere basically do you not think that the um do you

not think that with would Would you kind of... Would it be part of it to kind of numb the area before you start drilling your own head? Like... I don't... Yeah. It's a bit like... They used to give people sort of electricity through the head to cure all kinds of mental health and stuff.

But a lot of this stuff is pseudoscientific, right? Yeah, of course it is. It's just like, this sounds about right. Whenever you discover something new... I imagine probably we used radiation at some point we probably used

nuclear energy rods shoved up someone's bum to make them feel better or something would you consider doing it as a patron benefit what like a little

kind of what and you can I'll have a little webcam pointing into the hole and you find out what the numskulls are doing but a webcam in the hole

the little numskulls I've got one of a webcam in the hole. The little numbskulls. Third one. I've got one of those little ear exploratory like webcams that you can link up to your phone. I had a little poke

around my ears. That was a bit of fun. Sometimes I do find myself sitting at home thinking I wonder what Pete's doing now. And the answer is always never to be horrific. Why are you doing that?

You shouldn't be putting anything in your ears well how am I supposed to get the wax out you should go to a medical professional and have it

they're not even medical professionals anymore it's the they're more professional than you at least agree with that they've got a probably some kind

of qualification that allows them to dispense turbo halers but they shouldn't I don't think they should be digging around in my ear. My ears are very fragile. And then my money. They're my money.

Be careful, sir. How do you... Anyone who's sat in a studio seat and put headphones on after you knows very well your money's fucking fast-winded in Africa. Because your volume is unbelievable. But you know... So let me phrase it a different way. How are you currently removing the wax from your own ears?

I'm not really, I've not really got a waxy ear, to be honest. But I only know that because I shoved a camera into the bit, didn't I? So, to have a good look around. Tell us honestly now where else you've put that camera. I haven't put it anywhere i got i get i got dog's ass you know where where is it where's it been i just i just think it's important to um explore heidi halls in your life to see if they could you know what was the reason for buying it i think it was online i was like you know what that'd be quite i have an exploratory little camera.

It'll probably be quite useful. But then I got too exploratory with the part of the camera that connects to the PC and broke it a little bit. So when I had my earwax hoovered out, the guy did use a camera to show me. Yeah, exactly. It's actually a fucking cool piece of kit. Did you get a little action replay?

Yeah. They're like 20 quid. It looks space little action replay yeah they're like 20 quid like it sounds looks space age but they are just 20 quid it's like when I had my teeth whitened once the man was obsessed

with some 3D goggles he'd got from America and he put them on my face and I watched half of a James Bond film but he never told me anything about the procedure or what was going to happen to my teeth.

He was just obsessed with these new 3D glasses he bought from America. So you basically went to... Hang on. You went to a dentist to get your teeth whitened. Yeah.

And he put some glasses on you and said, watch this movie and these new glasses I've bought. Yeah. That's all he talked about. He's not a dentist. He's not a dentist.

It's above Jenny's Casino in Soho. Yeah, again. He's a man. He's definitely not a dentist. It's a man. A Chinese man. He's a a dentist. He's not a dentist. It's above Jenny's Casino in Soho. Yeah, again. He's a man. He's definitely not a dentist. It's a man. A Chinese man. It was the mother that let you in. He's a Chinese man,

and he was just banging to his new tech, basically, and he was obsessed with his new bit of eye-wearable tech. And were you pleased with the result? It didn't really work. the result it didn't really work yeah it didn't really work I was surprised I bowled me over that nothing happened

well it was only because I had he said to his mates down the casino I've got a great new business I advertised teeth whitening British people are too polite to say anything

I shot a fucking movie on a 3D glasses charged them 400 quid and they leave without saying anything it was about that to be fair yeah it was yeah because it was, yeah, because it was like the old woman who swallowed the fly.

I had back acne because I had my asthma medication. That's calmed down now, thank God. But yeah, back then I had back acne. So I took, not antihistamine, it's what they're called. The thing you shouldn't take too many of because then your body becomes incredibly familiar with them. Anti-biotics.

So I took antibiotics for them. They calmed down, but it did turn your teeth yellow, which seems to be... If you are getting rid of acne, you're clearly conscious about what you look like. So to have a side effect... You're rubbing people to pay for pool there. Yeah, that turns your teeth yellow.

So then I'm getting bloody... So then I'm watching Skyfall or whatever in Soho. Was it a good experience watching the movie on those glasses? But it was just... I think I famously bought some about 10 years before that from a New York vending machine at the airport. the same tech it was just two little scenes doesn't really work with people with glasses anyway so like it's that's an absolute non-star just silly silly but you put them over the top of your glasses I

didn't really experiment I was only half watching it to be honest it was I'm not here to watch James Bond. No. To me, that's alarm bells. But have you seen... I saw an advert recently, the first time I've seen it, for a Ray-Ban and Meta tie-in pair of glasses. Right, okay.

You see that advert? So what is that? Is that like the Snapchat glasses they used to have? I think Ray-Ban did Snapchat glasses. I've not heard of those, but these Meta ones seem to be, there's a camera in the rim and then there's a earpiece in the in the arm yeah and you can do all sorts of different stuff weird oh you can sort of ask you can sort of ask what am i looking at

and they go a wall you go good cool they're called ray-banan Meta Smart Glasses Right Endorsed by Little Sims So you know their quality Who's Little Sims? Who's Little Sims? Who's Little Sims? I can't give you Who's that? There's that

She's in Top Boy as well Oh yes yes yes There's a one who is really embarrassing I think she's a gay woman And I think she sings like dance woman and I think she's sings like dance music and, but she, every time she is in public, she'll do something fucking lame.

And I love it. Is it Siwa? Is that, is that a person? Siwa? Um, I don't know who that is. Yeah.

Well, it's, she's worth checking out. Like, like look at anything. Uh, Siwa singer. Oh,

I can't remember, but, um, there's a singer. Is it? Yeah. It at anything. Siwa Singer. Oh, I can't remember. But there's a singer. Yeah, it's Jojo Siwa. Check her out online. Check her out. Anything she... She's just always doing cringy shit all of the time. Every time she's interviewed,

she'll do something really stupid and she's just really lame. I cannot get enough of her. I love it. i think you should buy a pair of these sunglasses they're they're ray-bound wafers with meta included they've got a camera 12 megapixel camera yes five microphones so you can take high quality videos and immersive videos and share them all to facebook and instagram you can switch between um all your favorite songs phone calls and podcasts

with open ear discreet open ear speakers that sit right above your ears you've got a load of hands free controls like voice command all that kind of stuff and they all

obviously set up on the app on your phone £380 Pete well Ray-Bans are like £200 aren't they so it's not far away I would love to see you in a pair of them

you get prescriptions put on him and everything. I'd immediately lose them on a flight, which I've done with every pair of nice sunglasses I've had since year one. I think, when I think of this kind of tech that comes along, because Google Glass has come along for ages. I used to work with a guy who insisted on all his TV spots to wear, of wearing Google Glass, right? Right, okay.

And obviously it was only him. Hang on, he was on TV? Yeah, so I worked for a betting company and so he he was the head of pr so we do all the tv spots all the horse racing channels and the football betting and stuff like that and he would go on wearing google glass yeah he was like known for it it was only him and the assistant manager atletico madrid that ever wore them ever wore google glass yeah it was it burned bright didn't it? And I wouldn't, because Google will dispense with products. They will drop them like a hot... Oh, yeah, drop them like a stone, didn't they?

Drop them like a goddamn stone. But what I find interesting about those is those Google Glass, I looked them up, those Google Glass products were $1,500. Could you buy them cheap now? Could you buy a pair now, do you reckon? The software's discontinued, I think.

But surely you could, surely some plucky... Because Spotify had a little kind of, I think, in-car, little Spotify stereo thing that you kind of link to your aux cable or whatever that you bash out. And they've just decided to sort of stop supporting that. And it's only been alive for like two years or something.

It's a real pin in the arse, all this shit. I think Ray-Ban matters are for you, mate. Yeah, I don't know I just think that I don't need anyone I don't need more people sort of looking at me because my trousers

do a lot of the heavy lifting that way true yeah but you're distracting from it with the trousers it's a good point

actually yeah pretty safe territory don't get a camera in your trousers don't get a camera in your trousers don't get that little keyhole what is it called that little fish eye camera whatever it is and put it in your trouser

pocket because you'll be arrested for that definitely won't do that um pete on that delicate note let's have a break uh we'll come back and do some batteries but i've also got a interesting kind of maplin adjacent email for you as well oh it's the look of Pete Shore. Every single Thursday we talk about batteries but we also smash out some emails as well. So that's what we're

going to do right now. Lukey Moore, shall we kick off with batteries? Yeah, I can do either first. I don't mind. Let's do batteries first. Jason,

love the pod and was very happy to hear Pete have his own battery submissions recently. With all of the children's toys Luke has handled recently,

I'm surprised he hasn't found any worthy brands. Yeah, you've been quite silent on the matter. I can't be criticised when you're like opening battery compartments left, right and centre

and giving me nothing in return. Do you know what it is? A lot of the children's toys have got the batteries held in by a screw, haven't they? Yeah, they do.

So you don't bother opening them up to put batteries in them. Nothing's run out yet. No. And the only thing, the closest I've come is when I chucked away that Mexican maraca,

which annoyed me so much that I'd chuck it. The thing I want to tell you, a few days later on when the bin men were taking the outdoor bin away, I heard it kind of going, da-da-da-da-da, da-da-da-da-da-da,

and it was me and the bin. I should have taken the batteries out of that and checked in, but I didn't, so that's on me. Smashing. going da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da it's jazzy I very much like the typeface I love the bright green neon green colour on it I think this has to be a new player because it's so bloody good

I've never heard of it either it's a brand new player well done Jason batteries workaholic are a brand new player we're still finding them great stuff

still finding them and just and a really really good example of the farm Wilkie and George the Cat have got in touch hello chaps in the time honoured tradition I have removed some batteries from one of my kids portable fan

things the fly deer super heavy duty somewhat over advertised because that fan ain't heavy duty no super anyway keep the good work etc etc fly deer super heavy duty i don't think i've ever heard of a fly deer either if wilkie had sent in pear deers, Peter... Oh, he would have been kicked out the door, no? 62 people have sent pear deers in before. Yeah, true. Guess how many have sent in fly deer before? Zero. I'm going to say zero. The answer is zero. They're a brand new player.

Congratulations, Wilkie and George the Cat. George, you stay away from the battery. Do not eat that battery. Battery crime. Daniel fancied a weekend away from Prague so he's currently in Bergamo Bergamo

I always have a problem saying Bergamo Bergamo Bergamo Bergamo this lad was in the telly remote is it a new player

Luke I think we're three for three here because I've never heard of the Alkaline Esalunga Lunga Durata sounds like the sort of party

a president or prime minister might have yeah the Alkaline Esalunga Lunga durata. It sounds like the sort of party a president or prime minister might have. Yeah, the Alcalon Esa lunga lunga durata is also a brand new player. That's the hat trick. Esa lunga. I mean, it's just great. You know, we're recording this in July and people are still finding new batteries. I thought we were dead and buried, but no, we've come back with some Esa lungas,

some fly days and the old workaholic thank you very much for getting involved everyone on the old emails if you've got a battery let us know hello hello at lukepeachshow.com we need a picture and you need to own it big time and it can't be a branded battery from like some other organization like an nfl battery or no unless it's really interesting to us. Yeah, we might, a little bit of rigmarole there

in terms of the admin but I think really it needs to, as you say Pete, it needs to be a proper battery, it needs to be owned by you.

Or in the case of a hotel room or whatever you need to be able to take a photo of it and go, I was in the presence of this battery. Yeah,

okay. So, we've got an email here from Andy who says, hello Luke and Pete. After all the Maplin badinage on a recent episode, I thought it might bring Pete some comfort or jealousy to know that a

Maplin adjacent retail Emporium is still going strong in the land down under in Australia. Let me introduce you to J car. J car. You can still procure a four pack of diodes and some party lighting over 130 stores

across Australia and New Zealand during normal business hours I was in there myself just last week picking up a nifty little piece that lets me digitise my vinyl via the medium of USB

for less than $20 all the best Andy now he's included some links I've clicked on the links to me Pete I don't know how you feel to me this is Maplin by another name for less than $20. All the best, Andy. Now, he's included some links. I've clicked on the links. To me, Pete, I don't know how you feel. To me, this is Maplin by another name, my friend. It does feel that way, doesn't it?

It does feel like that would be something that I would very much be into. But what are the stars like themselves? He doesn't mention, does he? No. Does it feel good? I mean, the store finder option on the website is, as Andy says, they're all over the place. I mean, they're all over Australia.

They're all over New Zealand. It ticks all the boxes for me, chiefly because, yes, you can do a click and collect option. Yes, you can get rewards by becoming a member. Yes, you can buy a multicoloured LED disco ball. It's the 3D printing filament resources they've got. Yes, you can get rewards by becoming a member. Yes, you can buy a multicoloured LED disco ball. It's the 3D printing filament resources they've got. There's just so many filament options in the 3D printing section.

And it is very Maplin-y. And to be honest, I think Maplin kind of missed out as they were kind of gassing down and all they sold was hard drive enclosures, crappy graphics cards and disco lightings. They missed out on the 3D printing revolution because this could have been the shot on the arm that they needed. Yeah. Do you think it would have saved them? It's just the sort of thing, I think every...

I mean, it's a shot for dads, middle-aged dads, isn't it? And I think the promise of what a 3D printer could give you, I think has broken a lot of promises with that generation of man. And I think enjoying 3D printing as a hobbyist is the sort of thing that I think I could see a lot of the older men in my life getting involved in. Yeah, the great LC loves a 3D printer, as you know. I've got you a card holder.

I've shown you some guitar picks. Good point. Look, the exciting thing about J-Car that I wanted to bring to the table for you, Pete, which may move the dial even more for you. I know you like to go into a store. That's not going to be possible because you live in Essex

and this is in Australia and New Zealand. By the way, I should also mention, as an aside at this point, they also sell head torches, in case you're interested. Good. I pulled out a head torch from a cupboard a cupboard day yesterday i thought i'm gonna wear that they appear to um involve themselves in international delivery so you could get one from

you could get a refurbished 3d printer from um australia i think so because i tried to buy the multi-coloured disco ball in preparation for this show, and with the express purpose of putting a British delivery address in there, and it changed the amount it cost to deliver, of course, but it didn't say

I couldn't do it. Right, okay. Oh, nice, I like that, yeah. So get yourself involved, mate. What are you waiting for? The problem is, whenever you buy anything like that, and I've been stung before

buying car parts from Japan, it gets to the borders, and then they slap on another 80 quid on the thing that you bought. To be fair, that was buying a car from Japan, which I don't think is the same thing. No, it wasn't a car. It was car bits. Car bits and bobs, for crying out loud.

Okay. Yeah, I mean, that's Brexit for you, mate. True. So they've got all the 3D printed stuff in there, as you say. They've got everything you can think of that you need. They've also got, by the way, and you didn't mention this specifically, but I want to bring this to the table.

J-Car sell what they call a frozen Sonic Mega 8K resin 3D printer, which if you look at the photo, it looks like a gigantic oven, basically. Why is it called 8K, though? That seems like they're just, they're being fast and loose with what 8K represents. Well, I'm going

to tell you. If you want the absolute largest, most detailed, fastest resin print without sacrificing any other benefits, all while gaining printer stability and durability, then the Sonic Mega 8K breaks every single previous limitation for resin 3D printers. It is $3,799.

You can do store pickup, apparently, but they also deliver internationally. Well, resin printers seem to have, like, protective kind of sheets and screens, which is kind of confusing. So I don't know why resin is more dangerous than the filament stuff, but I'm fascinated by it.

I'm getting into, you know, I want to buy a 3D printer now. It's all I've thought of for the last five minutes. I think you should do it. I don't think any of us here should stand in your way. I think you should do it. And get it imported from Australia. We're very grateful for Andy for making us aware of this. Yes, thank you Andy.

If we could somehow get them to branch out into the UK, I think Pete's life would be improved greatly. Yeah, I completely agree. Absolutely. Finally, for now, let's just do this email very, very quickly from another... I mean, he says Andrew.

It could be an Andy. Could be an Andrew. Could be. Andy, who sent the email in, could be an Andrew. It's a similar name. He says, hi, guys. Long time listener, first time emailer. On a recent episode of the show,

Pete mentioned a house in Hartlepool randomly having a horse in its garden. Do you remember that? Oh yeah, I remember that. It wasn't your house, was it? No, it wasn't my house. He says, I think I have you beaten on this one though, Pete. One of my former neighbours had a horse

staying in the living room of a semi-detached house. I know this sounds made up, so I've included a link which you can see the bizarre arrangement with your own eyes. The horse lived there during the winter months before it was eventually removed by the local council. This led to a lengthy legal battle in which the owner tried to reverse the decision

which the council eventually won. All the best, Andy. So, it's actually a pony, not a horse. It was back in 2014 and it was in Lewis which is, I think, one of the Scottish islands.ish islands right so i think it's a very it was i think it's on the isle of lewis there's a very maybe it's a traditional way of of living i don't know what the home was like but she had this horse this woman called um

grey lady too and the local authorities got involved because they said she was failing to comply um with the animal health and welfare Act and not providing adequate space and care and all the rest of it for the pony. But Eileen, the lady herself, oh no, sorry, she wasn't called Eileen. She was, that was the woman from the Animal Health and Welfare place. Stephanie Noble is the name of the woman.

She said the pony was very happy. It's my house. If I want to keep an elephant in the name of the woman. She said that the pony was very happy. It's my house. If I want to keep an elephant in the house, I can. Steady on, Stephanie. Don't get crazy about it. Also, an elephant up on the Isle of Lewis. Unlikely. She said, I've had nothing but stick from people

because it's so unconventional. Listen to me when I say this. It's not normal to keep birds in a cage because they should be flying about, but people don't complain about that. My pony, Grey Lady 2, is very happy. I just don't think you should be naming ponies after ghosts. It's a sequel, isn't it?

What happened to Grey Lady 1? Kept her in a box room, did you? I don't think it's nice. I don't think it's right. The alarm was raised because apparently the pony ate a couple of the neighbour's plants. What, from the window of the front room? I think she was visiting the garden. Just in the garden, right.

Yeah, out and about. But that does probably trump your horse in the front garden, I think, Peter. I could definitely do with a horse that ate snails. What eats snails? I mean, most animals, surely. Do you reckon? What animals eat? What animals would absolutely love a bit of snail action?

I guess like squirrels, mice, rats. I mean, I have repurposed. Not repurposed. I'm constantly, in like the springtime, I'm constantly sort of getting my humane traps and driving these mice to, you know, waste ground to let them go like miles away from my house. I do one a day.

It's crazy. I think it's over a mile. They will find their way back. Yeah. Who are you burdening with them? I'll just take them down to near the train station. Only the trains. What, they're going to eat the train? Don't think so.

Give them a bit of money for a fare. Like, I give them a clear plastic bag with all your stuff in. He says to the mouse, here's a tenner, right? You can go anywhere you want to go without tenner. Get a ticket, wherever you want to go. Or, you can walk wherever you want to go and keepner. Yeah. Get a ticket, wherever you want to go. Or you can walk wherever you want to go and keep the money. Yeah.

It's up to you. I'm turning my back now. If I turn back and you're gone, then you've made your decision. Do you give him a little fucking bundle on a stick? Yeah, I think so. A ton of bit of cheese in it. Tell him to go and see your brother. He misses you.

Go and see your brother in Chester. All right, Pete. On that delicate note, it's time for us to go. So why don't you take us out see your brother in Chester. All right, Pete, on that delicate note, it's time for us to go, so why don't you take us out of here? Delicate stomach. Yes, we'll be back on Monday with emails and all kinds of stuff.

I mean, some crazy stuff might happen at the weekend. You never know. You just never know. But if you'd like to get in touch with the show, as always, it's hellolookpitcher.com. Have a lovely weekend. Take it easy. See you later. The Luke and Pete Show is a Stack Production

and part of the Acast Creator Network.