The Luke and Pete Show - Dungeons & Darkfruits

Episode Date: June 5, 2023

On today's guest episode, Pete is joined by Jordan Middler, the host of the excellent Stak show, VGC: A video game podcast. Pete tells Jordan all about his recent trip to Manchester, which, of course, ended in another new ailment, and we hear how Jordan's only experience playing Dungeons & Dragons was much more rowdy than he expected!Plus, we read an email detailing some quite traumatizing dad behaviour...Follow Jordan Middler Here. Listen to VGC Here.Want to get in touch with the show? Email: [e-mail] or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.We're also now on Tiktok! Follow us @thelukeandpeteshow. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's Monday the 5th of June I'm Pete Donaldson and I'm joined not by Luke Moore the Luke part of the Luke and Pete show but I'm joined by a man called Jordan Jordan Midler from the excellent stack

video game podcast VGC a video game podcast Mr jordan midler welcome to the show probably should have written that intro uh instead of just pulling out my bumhole for crying out loud um so jordan you are the host of the podcast um pretty much 99 at the time um i think i've stepped in once and a terrible job um how long have you sort of worked in video games and why did they make you happy well first of all i was told the look would be here so i'm gravely disappointed because i speak to you every minute of the day um so i've worked in games for like 10 years at this point

which is ridiculous to say because it feels like five minutes ago me and my daft wee friends were making um fifa pack opening videos doing all that shit doing the fucking screaming and shouting stuff nice um to the so as it was a couple of years of doing that independently then i went and worked for bbc scotland's um bbc the social which i remember looking back this the social is a bit of a strange almost kind of classist name for something like that to come out the bbc but it was essentially their talent farm for the next generation of ludicrously unfunny scottish comedy but one of the producers was like okay i quite fancy doing a games thing and then i went to them and i was like okay i want to review games no we can't do that with

the fucking bbc we cannot have an opinion only two people allowed opinions and that's mark kermode and mark kermode's friend so i literally sent them the kermode and mayo show and i was like well why can't i do this like these guys are i wouldn't be an employee of a contractor anyway and then they were like why don't you review two games per video so it's balanced i was like what how does that balance it out exactly they're two different two different experiences that is wild isn't it i like i was listening to the news on uh radio 2 yesterday and um there's some formula e guy who got in trouble for saying stuff and doing stuff i can't remember but some ball some usual fucking story man gets fired for being a fucking dickhead um a weirdo and um the bbc did this beautiful mealy mouth and uh he does

the um commentary for the formula one here and he works and he does commentary on the formula something on the bbc through a private company and like, mate, he's on your fucking telly. Shut your fucking mouth. Bullshit. We got away with way more than we should have, which was nice because only occasionally I would tweet something and then a producer would phone me and be like, I can't tell you to take this down because you're not an employee.

However, can you do me a favour? I've got a dangly contract that you might get in the future and that is kind of how the bbc works is you're on these kind of long six month to two year kind of like weird um kind of independent contractor um contracts and you never they dangled like the pension don't they dangle the pension part and you never quite get there um but uh but like so looking at like your kind of start at the bbc um was it like old billy balance billy bbc balance that was a real kind of kind of pain in the bum when you're trying to have opinions on stuff yeah it was weird because the the pitch was always why don't you come in and just do the

charlie brooker thing like just get in get in your room and just rant at the camera about whatever the topic of the week was and i found that extremely easy because i used to be just a raging wee bastard about stuff like that nowadays i just can't muster the energy because it's like it's like it just it just doesn't matter in the grand scheme of thing but it used to be oh i hate loot boxes all that games have got better as well it's just the people who play them and present them that have got it's weird now that my job is mostly uh playing the best games released yeah i'm much more chill about it it's weird that isn't it you don't have to play like you know weird eastern european games about you know

truck driving and that yeah they're quite so it would be yeah i mean those are totally fine but it would be my producer my producer would be like oh there's a disney film out can you do a video about disney games and i would go and do that and it was fun and it was like a fun kind of writing exercise but eventually i was like i want to do actual like games media stuff so let me review games and then eventually they broke down to the point where i just had to show them all of these pr people are screaming at me to review stuff because they want the bbc access so we have the opportunity yeah and it didn't really come down to a problem of balance until the new consoles came out so the ps5 and the xbox series x and i said to them oh they're sending them over and they're like hey that sounds

juicy because they won't want that's the thing, when your manager sort of sees a bit of consumer tech, all the things that their kids want for Christmas, it feels a bit juicy and it feels a bit naughty, doesn't it? Yeah, so they were like, because the cumulative value is like £1,000, we're going to have to talk about this. And I just didn't reply to that email and then stopped telling them about it. So I just submitted the reviews and they were like, oh, so did they send those consoles to the BBC or to you?

And I just didn't reply. You went to my lockup. Went to my lockup. So they're sitting right there. And then towards the end of the BBC, I was already working with VGC on some freelance stuff. And Andy would occasionally give me the kind of wink and the nudge and be like, Dangling is non-pension. We're probably going to hire you at some point.

And then eventually I just had to be like, right, Andy, when is it happening? Can I please tell the BBC I am done? And that was February 2022. So it's people who listen to Laps, Luke and Pete Shaw, they're probably not possibly into gaming as much as, you know, I talk about gaming all the time and I love gaming,

but I don't play quite as much as I should do. But I'm certainly a consumer of the culture and the games media around it a little bit more than actually playing the fucking things because I hate myself. And there's like, I sort of get the sense that north of the border, is it Pennsylvania? And the kind of like the what was that show that was like it it was like was it rab florence and stuff and

like video guide your guide in and uh limmy like there seems to be up north of the border the the kind of synergy between comedy and video games just seems way more um way more like better just it just seems way that was the thing yeah that was those specifically consolevania video guy then that was the kind of stuff that kept getting brought up when so when i was in the bbc i was like right we have the bbc scotland channel and a million hours of television to fill and nothing but repeats of fucking still game developed so can we like can we have like a a weird late night show like i was like you know all that crap on channel four in the 90s that you just turn on like half 11 and stuff like that and it was there was a there used to be i can't i think he now um edits the q magazine what is his nicholas or alexander or something guy long hair uh big round glasses he was in uh he used to do

a show where he would it was like 11 maybe one o'clock in the morning all back to mine I think it was called and like bands like really shit bands would come on and that you they do a quiz and they'd have an interview and they'd win a kebab and it was very like post pub television post for television doesn't exist anymore it's just like i've not turned on the television after a pub for such a long time um but from memory it's just those it used to be just those uh kind of time um games where a man a man a woman stands in front of a big vault uh and people spend five quid on on betting uh just guess the word and stuff like that so like it's kind of like it seemed to be like that there's no good post pub television anymore no i know and the argument

was always well when people get in from the pub they can just go on youtube and watch whatever they want and i was like okay i understand that but again we had the time to film and you've got you've got i mean just give up then just fucking give up just just don't have just close them down close down the telly yeah that was a that was a that was a weird experience when they when they launched that tv channel they did like a big party in the glasgow science center which is next to the bbc offices in glasgow and all everyone who's ever been in a scottish comedy was there right and they were like coming up to me and introducing themselves to me and i genuinely had to stop myself being like no i know i know who you are like i know you're navid from style game like you're very nice but this is strange it just

seems like again i do have this kind of like a rose tinted kind of spectacles when it comes to like um scotland like it just just people just seem a bit more willing to give people the time of day you know what i mean there's less ar assholes up there there just is well it depends where you go but yeah there is like the whole the whole i think it's a really tired expression the whole people make lasco thing but there is a general friendliness that when i go down to london i do not experience i'm full of fear when i go down but it's kind of like um it's it's more I was watching, I went to see Coldplay because it was my partner's brother's 50th, I think. Yes, I mean, I know that. I don't know why I had to go, I think.

But we went to Coldplay because that's where he was going and churches were in support. And I was just like, they're just better. The band, Scottish bands are just better. I love churches. I met them on a plane to Brazil once did you wow well specifically the plane was from london to madrid and i walked past um doc is the guy with the always wears a baseball cap he's mad into his games as well and i just looked at him like five times and then i didn't want to do the whole thing of being like fucking oh mate are you are you i just said to him quickly i was like excuse me mate are you uh you dock for churches he was like hi mate i was like oh cool big fan then as i walk

further up the other two are like right next to me and i was like i can't do this again i can't stop and say hello to them so i just kind of like nodded and walked back friends with uh dock from churches actually so uh yeah oh we already know yeah but um yeah the uh aren't they like really big into hanging out with hideo kojima uh the guy who made metal gear solid um yeah just just have they been involved in his video games before or are they just kind of just one of like hideo kojima has a reputation of just pulling famous people into his orbit and using them for video games but i don't think i've ever paid on it so they did the title they didn't do metal gear stuff but they did the title track for death oh of course yes i was listening to ian cook from churches talk to simon parkin for his show and

just talking about how every time they're in japan kojima treats them so well you'll know this you know the old like when uh when a gaijin would go to uh to wrestle in japan and they would have like the sponsors like the rich fans that would take them about that kind of seems like what kojima does for churches like it just puts them up in the best places ever it like gets them in link man yeah it very much seems like they're going to do something for the the second game as well that's not that's not hot no that'll be on all the fucking gaming websites in about an hour but i if you kind of um go back to your kind of formative years in video games, it's a thing that VGC, a video game podcast, go and listen to it now.

It's a podcast I love very much and I help out every now and again. I very much love that VGC is very much a video game podcast because the younger members of the group i.e. you Jordan cannot wait to say how young you are on a podcast because every fucking video game podcast

there's always someone who's in their mid-twenties or younger and they're always sort of going well I don't actually remember when the N64 Mario came out because I am too young and you're very much the too young guy of the podcast you've got uh other people uh andy and chris on the podcast who are um i think i think they're both in their 40s and they all remember kind of the amstrad cpc like i do but um you're the one who has to sort of go hey there are other people listening by the way

and they're much younger than you absolute granddads no i just think it's time to let old things die you know the the thing that really kind of for the podcast i was like okay when i used to listen to games podcasts when i was like kind of teens to early 20s it would be guys 10 years 20 years older than me and you would have to like pick references out and stuff like that whereas i want the podcast to also be people that are listening to it while they're sitting playing games while they're like uni students and stuff like that um but i'm just as bad as soon as we as soon as we start talking about the mid-2000s of like games coverage and magazines i'm just sat there like i just want to

listen to this stuff i want to hear all the horrible pub stories that they have from that era of the wild west of media oh yeah and i think i joined radio after the good old quirky days and i think you joined games media well after the good old um press trip corky about corky days let's put this face it um it just seemed to be that that every time i've joined an organization and and presumably the same, you know, just generationally, you've joined the Games Media at a time where it's never been so quiet. It's never been so kind of, like, dry. Nobody gets absolutely fucked up,

misses their flight, doesn't manage to see a video game, shits their pants. Like, every story that comes out of Andy's mouth on the VGC podcast is just yeah and then we went to i don't know tehran on a bloody college press trip and some guy shat his pants and just it just seems horrible that's always the thing like the new generation always like the generations always have the story of the people that were in when they got in and it just

gets worse the further you get back like i went to lunch with a with someone very high up in a in a video game company in the uk who used to work on a magazine in the mid 90s who was like yeah on deadline day uh our boss would just give us speed to get over the line he got through it he would just walk around everyone's desk and give us speed that's like that sounds fucking brilliant that's the. Now I'm just sitting here with my can of Lewis Hamilton branded Monster trying to get through this Diablo

4 content. Why did he need that? I mean, there's very few kind of sports people where you sort of go,

haven't they got enough money? But to denigrate yourself and go for Monster as your energy, just make your own. As in the boxing

kind of guy hasn't he got the tall guy yeah he's got one hasn't he yeah it's like i'm a i'm a denizen of uh sugar-free energy drinks and when this popped up i was like right what what is the aroma of lewis hamilton and it's totally not bad but exactly that's what i was hoping i was like is it that nice smell you get when you come out of a petrol station but it's totally not bad but exactly that's what i was hoping i was like is it that nice smell you get when you come out of a petrol station but it's completely inoffensive but yeah the the the whole the press trips still happen like i was in san francisco last week and almost shit myself so it's very yeah but you shit yourself because you were terribly unwell you drank the water or something i was i was listening to you hosting the podcast like on my knees in that hotel room so so sick

like and then six hours after that i had to host on kind of funny so i was like this is a sort of deeply dark experience listen to lovely christopher drink just talk about sony in a very in a very calm way and i was like i'm dying i saw i saw mr midas and who hosts that um the um greg miller greg miller does greg miller yeah he's a huge name in the u.s and I'm weighing. I was like, I'm dying. I saw Mr. Midas. Who hosts that? Greg Miller. Greg Miller does. Greg Miller, yeah. He's a huge host. Huge name in the US.

And he was very complimentary about you guys on the show because you are fans of the show. You know what it is. And that elevates, I think, when you have a guest appearance. But, I mean, what I like about that is you're just sweating and dying and shitting your pants. I can't remember any of it like i genuinely cannot the last thing i remember is i was at the i met midas in the hotel in the morning and i went to the the bar and got like a plastic cup of ice yeah and was just sitting eating it and i remember

getting in the uber to go to the studio and then i remember the show finishing and just being like i can't believe i made it i cannot believe I made it through that. I've watched clips of the show and seen gifs and stuff like that. I was like, none of this happened to me. And then I had to fly 12 hours home. It was absolutely fucking brutal. It's more brutal as well because, you know,

this is all inside baseball, but it does make me giggle that, Jordan, you are the person who does the press trips at VGC. Yeah. And you live in Glasgow and most of the press trips start in Londonc um and you live in glasgow and most of the press trips start in london so you've got to fly down to glasgow down from glasgow to heathrow and then start your journey effectively that is and and you're a tall man and you're not always in business no um thankfully like they got i had like a the premium economy seat or whatever so i had some

room and there was a tiny tiny wee old lady next to me which is the jackpot when you're flying because she takes up such an infinitesimally small amount of space so i just kind of i almost literally put my hands across my chest and it's like i'm just going to force myself into like a state of hibernation to get over and it was it was that flight was totally fine the flight back to glasgow sat on the runway for like 40 minutes and i was just like sweat draining from my face i mean i mean from like waiting waiting on the uh on the tarmac to go to glasgow you just get it up there what's what's gonna happen in an hour what's good it's like i i feel like i could walk this like come on um but

yes i don't think i have any wait that's not true i have another one booked in like three weeks but i'm not i'm not doing one of the crazy la trips that are happening the week people will be hearing this so that's all right this is a good time for you to be on the little picture podcast because even if you don't play games you will know uh that um uh teaser the kingdom the big um zelda game came out last month uh we've had street fighter 6 diablo 4 diablo 4 um never played a diablo game and uh there's another one as well the new final fantasy 16 and then further afield starfield in sort of september so it really is like the summer of games jordan yeah it's the the pandemic kind of snapped back and all these games that were supposed to be spread out more like in what in what world does diablo 4 and street fighter 6 launch in the same day if there's

not some massive kind of like choke point um yeah it's exciting it makes my job harder pretty difficult because i end up covering all of them because you do because you don't just do reviews you also do guides which is you play through the entirety of a game and film it put it on tiktok put it on socials or whatever and um that's that's a lot i could never do that job because i'm just not very good at games jordan how do they help is there did developers help you do you get cheat codes and stuff no and the the darkest period of that was reviewing elden right which for people that aren't all fed with that is a very difficult game that came out last year from From Software. They're famous for their difficult games

games like Bloodborne and stuff like that and we had to review it in a week with absolutely no help which is an experience I wouldn't wish on anyone and totally against the whole purpose of playing those games. You're meant to explore and get better whereas it's just 30 journalists all texting each other

being like what the fuck are we supposed to do next so it's just 30 journalists all texting each other being like what the fuck are we supposed to do next um so it's it's weird i'll talk about this how my reviews aren't reflective of a normal person playing the game and getting an opinion on it because it's just impossible to review it from that lens because you would have to play it across six months it's meant to just be a you're you're sitting there today for example and you're hearing people talk about diablo you're just meant to look at it and go oh that sounds that sounds like a bit of me but it's it's kind of there's a bit of responsibility about it now because games are so ludicrously expensive that i feel kind of duty bound not to waste people's money you know

they're sneaking up to the 70s and 80s aren't they that's proper like back in the day that was like neo geo kind of like proper japanese import level i wasn't alive yeah sorry yeah john's mom and dad were just making eyes at each other across a bar um right right on that stinking bombshell uh we're gonna take a short break and we'll be back with some emails oh nice we're back with lucas picho i'm joined by john miller from uh the vgc a podcast a very very good um video game podcast that you should listen to we make it we do it we make it happen and we had jeff keely uh on the show uh last week yeah the big man who is about as well known as a video game man can be there will be potentially tens of millions of eyes on that man in about a week's time no

wonder andy didn't let me speak to him he was like i'm gonna silo this off so you can't say something ridiculous to him on a live mic andy uh andy who uh is the um he's the ceo isn't he he's the owner editor-in-chief owner big boss man big west ham season ticket hunt yeah so he's got obviously the um match of the century uh later on this week which is uh very exciting and uh he spent a lot of time worrying about his tickets i am praying that they fucking win man i can't tell you how much worse my life will be how much like that would make or break if summer game fest covering it for me as good if he's in a fucking good mood if they've won because it's just he's flying straight from the final to la is he going prague london london la i mean good god good god

um all right let's kick into some emails um i think last week we um we delighted um anthony richardson from um sports horn uh with some terrible uh battery brands but we don't have to do them this time around. We've got some emails. I'm going to scroll down to... Let's have a sort of game adjacent email. Hi, look at Pete. This is from Leo.

This is the episode where you talked about Dungeons & Dragons. Firstly, the film is great, and I could very much get behind a D&D cinematic universe. Have you seen the film, Jordan? No, I don't... I always say that. I don't watch films. I don't like films.

I'm just anti-films. That was the plan for the podcast. I was like, there's a lot of video game podcasts that I regard as video game podcasts and they just clatter on about fucking Marvel and I just don't care. I want my pure legal speed

that is the video game. Firstly, the film is great. And secondly, I've played D&D regularly for the last decade. And although I consider myself a casual player, I still have to be reminded of some rules. I'm happy to provide my two cents to your discussion. So D&D does have a pretty hefty rulebook that guides pretty much every interaction you could have.

Basically, for anything you want to do at the Dungeon Master, sorry, steady. Basically, for anything you want to do at the Dungeon Master, sorry, steady. Basically, for anything you want to do, the Dungeon Master will decide if it requires a roll of a 20-sided die. Other dice I use, but that is the most common. The more difficult the feat, the more likely it requires a higher roll.

That's something I remember for when I did my couple of bits of role-playing back in the day, and it was very much, all right, I'm on a high pedestal, I can't get down, all right, I'll try and fly. It was going, well, technically you're an armadillo, you can't fly. And I go, I'll roll, let me roll.

So there's a chance, but it's a small chance that you start amazingly flying. For example, climbing a ladder would need an athletics check and a relatively low roll, while climbing a building may need a higher athletics roll or even multiple rolls. Alternatively, telling a lie would require a deception check. In this case, the player in the Dungeon Master will roll a D20. If the player rolls higher than the character, and the character believes the lie isn't sure or doesn't believe it.

It's very like, if you've ever played kind of, I'm trying to think of video games that ever played kind of um uh i'm trying to think of video games that have the kind of mass effect like fallout if you've not got enough like deception points they go fuck off i mean it all comes back to dungeons and dragons like all of these rpgs are just based on the the first kind of rule book from that i've only ever played dnd once in my life and i it was a really hot day so we sat out my friend's back garden and he had planned this wonderful campaign and it just descended we're all like we're all like theater kids we're all ex-theater kids so it just became like improv we're all doing

bits with each other and i noticed quite quite quickly i had drank um 12 cans of strongbow dark the lewis hamilton strongbow dark so you so you you were drunk basically you couldn't continue 12 cans of Strongbow Darkfruits. The Lewis Hamilton Strongbow Darkfruits, yeah. So you were drunk, basically. You couldn't continue. I wasn't just drunk. I was cider drunk, which is when the sugar hits you and just the weight of all that liquid. And I was only down the street

from where my mum and dad live and I was staying there that night. That walk should take 30 seconds. It felt like it took an hour. And after that i was like dungeons and dragons is great i love this let me do this every week it's an excuse let me drink let me drink it do you mean play it it's a game i don't know i think we got through like the first scene of the campaign and i said to my friend i was like how much did you plan and he was

like so much more than that you guys just wouldn't stop fucking talking and going way off pace. I think we rolled the dice about three times in five hours or something like that. What a shame. Leo goes on and says, as for the Dungeon Master, they can either make or break a campaign. A good Dungeon Master would thrive off Pete's whimsy and use it to help shape the story. I think demanding

to fly as a character who couldn't fly would probably upset any normal dungeon master. Whereas a dungeon master who wants to stick to the set stories tends to make less enjoyable campaigns. A huge shout-out to our DM Jo, although she's planned a set goal and story points along the way. How we get there and how long it takes to get there is down to us.

She goes without whimsy, which makes for a more free-flowing and enjoyable game. All the best, Leo Lincoln in UK uk um yeah that's great stuff i like people giving props to friends who provide an amazing kind of framework for something like this to uh flourish it's nice it's always it's always very it's always very impressive when people can actually say that like i have ideas for stuff like that and then i sit down to do it and i'm like i just can't i just don't have the the mental energy all i all i do is either work or take my dog out and that is that is pretty much you must relate to this i mean oh it's like sammy he's he's fine he's uh he's around the car now we went down to the uh to the old town and uh and bought a bought a little sandwich but he um

but i think with like with stuff like the job that you do and to a lesser extent probably the job that I do like I work short of show like anything overarching and more in the future than a couple of weeks I find it very difficult and so any job gets done you know pretty close to when it needs to be delivered and I like it that way

you just have to like I get especially when review embargoes are kind of like creeping up on each other you just have to do the i get especially when review embargoes are kind of like creeping up on each other you just have to do the next thing the next thing the next thing and then literally all i do is i'll put up a review take the the hour after that to go and walk leah the dog and then it's back to this on to the next thing like the days that i actually take time to do nothing are a huge reality which is which is weird because it's like it's like 22 degrees up in scotland and i've actually been taking the time to go out with the dogs go on nice walks

and things like that i've got a hot leg i drove um for a long time uh to go and see co-play annoyingly and uh um i'm just trying to strike it but um but i i've come back and my leg is a bit hot and i'm like oh what's that got a just like. And I'm like, oh, what's that? Got a hot leg. Yeah, I don't know. It just feels hot in the back. And John, that's what you've got to look forward to when you're 42 like me.

I won't make it today. Not drinking that Lewis Hamilton energy drink. I nearly died the other day. Yeah, shooting yourself inside out. No, no. I nearly died because my friend's dog jumped into some uh water and i had to go in and save it oh god that could that could have been the end of me hey look she just she just stood on the bank watching me coming in in slow motion after

me while i'm up to my neck good god sunglasses on in my hat grab it so the dog's like a boxer american bulldog like mix yeah she's massive she's an absolute tank so she was fine the first time and then she went out slightly too deep and then suddenly the arms were in the air like she was just like she was like clearly struggling and then after two seconds of that i was like okay wade into the water as if i'm going to my doom what a hero and then if we were she was like an inch from being able to stand there was like no imminent threat but you know when dogs get scared it's like the end of the world so um then i just had to be dripping wet for the rest of the walk this happened five minutes into the narrative of uh the looking peach a few months ago was that i literally nearly drowned i was pulled out of the sea by uh by a um lifeguard you know when i was on holiday in st lucia so you were my um uh you

were my lifeguard yeah i would have pulled you out of the sea it was a weird thing though because i hadn't i hadn't swam in like 10 years and then after when i came back to the shore like my friend was very thankful and stuff like that obviously because our fucking dog hadn't died and i just had to i was just sitting there like that was a bit scary that could have been that kind of went sideways and then we had we just went on a nice walk after that while i had like some of lock sample like in my pockets and like old flick knives and lugas in your pockets lovely stuff stuff. All right, we'll round off with one very, very quick email. Rob, morning, fellas. Quick one.

Adding to a long-running trope of classic dad behaviour, doubled up with sexy car mags, cars and boobs, discussed a few weeks ago. Me and a friend did something similar to what the previous emailer did, and we used to talk really loudly in the WH Smith queue about various car-based technical concepts in the wh smith queue about various car based technical concepts in the hope we'd look like serious car buffs and not just 14 year olds with raging hormones this is clearly a futile effort i don't remember car magazines necessarily being full of

absolute grot i would have gone for like bizarre magazine or something like pretend that was a real horror nerd or something you used to get a wee bit uh you used to get a wee bit of stuff in the back of some gaming magazines like yeah oh that rings a bell yeah yeah it wasn't the official playstation magazine but the ones that were like the unofficial guide to the ps2 you would occasionally get one of those here's a here's a here's a titty wallpaper for your mobile phone i always looked at that when i was like 10 i was like oh this is this is extreme this is extreme stuff what was your first um what was your first um phone wallpaper can you remember was that a big deal when you were you were a ben because that that was obviously you know i was well into my 20s when we were doing phone wallpapers so as far as wallpaper i don't remember but i do remember the first ringtone that i ever paid money for was yeah nice in the club by was it like a full polyphonic or sample or was it just

i think it was just like the first bit it was like lovely i don't think i had any lyrics or anything like that it was just that bit over and over again and that was so i only had like two generations of mobile phone before i had like an actual iphone so i didn't get the the whole yeah when people are like remember this nokia that wouldn't break it's like sharp boomer yeah and i would always go for like the weird ones that weren't really supported they'd have like wap integration in like the fucking 2002 are you a big android man are you one of these like jailbreaking weirdos or something? Nah, I switched over to one of those folding Samsung folds.

And I mean, never be an early adopter with anything. I mean, that's always the way to go. But I've always been iPhone. I switched quite late to that. And I just, the front screen is too smart to type on. And you feel like an absolute dickhead unfolding it. So it's good stuff. I've had, I've just had iphones and

i have 35 000 photos for the past like 10 years of my life so at this point it's like i'm never going to transfer over because it has this digital footprint this has more information about me than my actual body does at this point when i was watching a couple of everyone is just um is just taking pictures everyone's just taking pictures i think the i think the beastie boys might have tried this they gave out a a load of kind of like, you know, mobile kind of shitty video camera sort of things. And basically they filmed all of, you know, and filmed different parts of it

and they switched from video to video as they were doing their gig. But I just love to be able to crowdsource, like grab all of this data, all of this location and of this uh location and picture data that everyone's taking and just do like a matrix style fucking 3d extravaganza because every fucker was taking pictures of core player yeah i mean i don't know what they were expecting to do with them but everyone had the same fucking pictures and video of uh of core player anyway

uh back in uh on the man who's buying grot. When I got my magazines home, about the cars and the boobies, I'd feed them into my pile of Top Gear magazines, which, as they were a BBC product and had nothing untoward in them, allowed me to sneak my boobie mags into the normal rotation and do with them what I would. I get the feeling that if you were forced to review a boob, Jordan, on BBC, you would have to review lefty and righty at the same time yeah for balance we have to we have to provide balance oh no the bbc hated any references to the to the anatomy oh no i mean probably because every boob is is is you

know different to to their partners partners boobs i suppose yeah a partner's boob um lefty is always different to righty and they probably don't like the lack of balance, so to speak. Anyway, but to my horror, one Sunday morning, my mother accidentally noticed a picture of a scantily clad lady lying across a Subaru

and suddenly my booby-based plan fell apart. My dad was summoned and took it upon himself to inspect the magazines to ensure they were suitable for me. He took a large pile of them into the spare room and i was told not to disturb him the thought of what he did in there still sends shivers down my spine but i do respect his game my unsuspecting mother was none the wiser great dad action

taking any opportunities in the mid-noughties to get some booby action uh rob wonderful just really really good stuff. Thanks for sharing that, Rob. Thanks for sharing that, Rob. We've all got an image of your dad doing what comes naturally to a dad with access to pictures of the boobaloos. I remember my dad found a floppy disk from an Amiga.

I'd inherited a load of... Nobody bought games back in the day. It was all just fucking type of shit. And I, apart from one game, Monkey Island 2, because I had bought games back in the day. It was all just fucking hype and shit. And I, apart from one game, Monkey Island 2, because I had 11 fucking discs in it, and it was just unworkable. But, yeah, one of the discs that was,

that I'd inherited, just said safe sex on it. And it didn't work. It didn't have anything grotty on it, or if it did, I couldn't access it. And I remember having a terse conversation with a stern conversation with my mum and dad

about that and I'm like put it in the fucking machine if you think it's that fucking if it's that fucking powerful

put it in the machine good god never mind this has been the the Jordan Middler and Pete Donaldson show

the Luke and Pete show for another Monday we'll be back on Thursday. I think we've got Mark Davison from Sports On on the show. We're sort of going around the brands a little bit. Synergy. Synergy.

Corporate synergy. And yeah, if you are up for a bit of video game stuff, I cannot recommend the show enough. It's a lot of fun. It's basically a football ramble about video games. You know, it's just the business of video games, the people who make them and stuff um vgc a video game podcast uh have a listen wherever you get your podcast jordan where can people find you on the socials you can find me everywhere at jordan middler it's it's just my name that's the thing about having a unique name

you get your handle absolutely everywhere it's jordan m-i-d-d-l-e-r um find me chatting shite about diablo 4 for the next uh foreseeable future and and uh i think there's something going wrong with uh with with twitter because if you visit people's um profile it literally says jordan middler hasn't tweeted i think uh just just i have saved so much time I have tweeted I have tweeted 26.9 thousand times according to according to Twitter

that's good stuff the and I would I would sort of say that if you ever called Pete Donaldson you do get a lot of

tweets for Pete Davidson the SNL guy so a lot of a lot of fun can be had like that right we'll be back on

Thursday in the meantime if you've got any battery brands if you've got any silly stories if you've witnessed a locked door and a masturbating dad

do drop us a line hello at lungopeachshow.com we'll be back soon bye bye bye bye the luke and pete show is a stack production and part of the acast creator network