The Luke and Pete Show - Eight Cups a Week

Episode Date: June 19, 2023

Pete would look great in a leotard and a bald cap, don't you think? It could happen, find out how on today's show!!Elsewhere, Luke gets stuck down a rabbit hole trying to think of Beatles coffee puns and we finally pay our respects to Long Boi. Well kinda...Want to get in touch with the show? Email: [e-mail] or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.We're also now on Tiktok! Follow us @thelukeandpeteshow. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's the Luke and Pete Show I'm Pete Donaldson I'm joined by Mr. Lukey Moore Lukey Moore Yo Before we started referring to the show I clicked on a link

on Instagram for a shirt and I bought a shirt off of Instagram Right That's where I've got to in my life. And what was it about the shirt that you particularly liked? Is it like a re-up of your Scott Sellers one or?

Not really, no. It's just a silly, it's just a, I don't know, it's just a daft little summer shirt. But I was like, I just thought, oh, that looks quite nice. And I never buy myself clothes really, unless it's a funny wrestling shirt. You're a novelty marketer's dream, aren't you? I am, yeah. Any old tat that you put on somebody um put a load of um i think it was like like 1980s um

ice cream brands british ice cream band brands on like a hawaiian shirt i was like oh that looks rather striking and i was like no you're playing into their hands stop this doddleson they're playing that's your equivalent of um that's your your personal equivalent of um why aren't bin men I'm like, no, you're playing into their hands. Stop this, Doddelson. They're playing with your nostalgia. That's your personal equivalent of why aren't bin men friendly anymore, isn't it? Yeah, pretty much, yeah. I get pulled in every single time. But what we need to do is, remember around the time that B-Sky B were there? That was a golden period for me, I told you, because my dad stole a lot of stuff from his factory and we got B-Sky.

Exactly, and just the old brands that you used to see around there like they used to be like i think it was like wh smith had a telecommunications connection to the digital uh you know digital television when it first got started it was like wh smith digital or something like that that's how like it was proper mad for the longest time but did you know know in the late 80s that Coca-Cola had the telecommunications division? Well, that would mix. I mean, that would... Well, I mean, it would mix. I mean, it's absolutely not sensible.

Because they basically became like a... They did a deal with, like, Columbia. I think it's Columbia Pictures. So, it's weird. I'll tell you why I came across this. It's because I saw a TV. Oh, that's what it was. Do you remember the cartoon, The Real Ghostbusters?

Yes, I do. It was fucking wicked, right? And it was a massive part of my childhood, or so I thought. And so I watched an episode of it on YouTube. Right. Yeah, it was kind of roughly as I remembered it. And I thought, oh, yeah, so I started looking into it. And, you know know you get these things

where you think right that was a massive part of my childhood right i cannot imagine being a kid how i was um without that tv show right and then you look at it and you go oh i only ran for a year like how is that possible like yeah just to me that was on every week for like 10 years but anyway the real ghostbusters i think I only ran in the UK for a year. Anyway, I watched an episode of it. It was fun. I always used to have a real problem with the fact that slime was one of the goodies in it.

But anyway, that's separate. When I watched it, the end credits, it said like a Coca-Cola production. I was like, what the fuck? So the real Ghostbusters was a Coca-Cola production? So there was a load of shows between about 1986 and 1989 or something that were produced by Coca-Cola production? So there was a load of shows between about 1986 and 1989 or something that were produced by Coca-Cola.

And one of them was Hulk Hogan's Rockin' Wrestling. Right, I don't even remember that, to be honest. Well, that's one for you and Mark, maybe. One was the real Ghostbusters. One was The Price is Right. That started out as a Coca-Cola production. Nice. And there's a load of other kind of American ones.

And the other one I can remember off the top of my head was a dennis dennis the menace adaptation but well it's the american one i just love the idea yeah it must have been i just love the idea of like that late 80s reagan thatcher financial kind of avarice period where people like coca-cola were going let's fucking fucking do, let's make fucking TV shows. We can do it better than them. It's brilliant. Nothing has been a more cocaine influenced decision than that.

It's quite interesting. On WrestleMania YouTube page we've sort of turned a bit of a corner viewer wise by featuring a lot of British wrestling. Turns out there's a massive 50-year-old-plus collection of mainly blokes just popping on and going, nobody's talking about Rollerball Rocco from the 1980s

on World of Sport. No, I'm sorry, boys. And we watched one called Catweasel, a big, long, drifter-looking Jimmy Savile guy who wrestled for 25 years. Something like 20 years longer than the TV show Catweasel was ever on. It wasn't anything to do with the TV show, right? It had nothing to do with the show Catweasel.

Back before IP matters. Catweasel was very much a show in the late 60s, early 70s, I think, where a magical old wizard, I think, is found in a forest by a young boy. It's all pretty nonce, to be honest. And got to keep secrets, got to be secret, can't tell everyone about the magical man. And apparently, so Mark had watched a bit of Cat Weasel

to try and get some information about the wrestling Cat Weasel. And the magician, who basically jumped into a magical fountain like 2,000 years ago or whatever, was being hunted by the local constabulary. And it's never made clear why he was being hunted. But he befriends a young boy, and the young boy can't tell the rest of the people about it in the 70s. Can't tell the rest of the people.

Because you've got to keep it secret. Hanging out out with old men you've got to keep it a secret that was the message that we had in our tv shows it always just reminds me of it always just reminds me of um that i've never seen it but it kind of i think it went viral about um some some women on facebook posting um i haven't got a tv license um do you know what the chances are of me being caught because i haven't really got any money and i'd love to i still love watching like antiques roadshow whatever right it's a quite a sweet thing to post and uh someone replies saying something like listen norma the bbc couldn't find 34edophiles working in their own building for 15 years. I think you're going to be all right with the episode of the Antics Roadshow.

Fantastic. Anyway, on the WrestleMe thing, I know that you're doing the London Podcast Festival with Mark, a live show, right, soon? Yeah. And I saw on the WrestleMe Twitter feed the other day that you put in a poll out there to see which episode, which kind of wrestling you're going to focus on.

And I have to say, I voted for Giant Haystacks and Big Daddy for two reasons. One, because I'll listen to the live show, and I probably won't attend, but I'll listen to it, and it'll be fucking funny, because I loved watching Big Daddy and Giant Haystacks back in the day. And the other, admittedly main reason is that I know that you and Mark dress up

as the wrestlers for the live show and I really want well let's make it quite clear I made this very clear to Mark the other day if he has to dress up as Giant Haystacks he'll just go to his own wardrobe but you as Big Daddy with a bald wig on and a massive leotard that is fucking good stuff

for me. Well, I'm starting to get the belly, you know, sort of running. And what did he shout? I can't remember what he... Easy? Big Daddy was easy, wasn't he? The Marcus Spelleth chant, wasn't it? His real name was Shirley Crabtree. And isn't his nephew a really well-respected rugby league player?

Yeah, yeah. Just big lads. I mean, so his brother, the other Crabtree, was obviously the person who sort of ran a lot of the company. Oh, I think Big Daddy was a rugby league player as well, actually. Yeah, he will have been. I think he was in the Horse something Guards as well. He got banned for having too much of a temper.

Well, he sort of killed wrestling in Britain a little bit, Big Daddy, because he just stuck around for too long. And his brother was booking all the shows, because he just stuck around for too long. Right. And his brother was booking all the shows, and he just booked his brother too strong. And so, like, it kind of, all the good wrestlers went away because they were just like, well, I'm tired of losing to Big fucking Daddy. 64-inch chest.

He can barely walk. Apparently. 64-inch chest, which apparently, at the time, was a world record. Yeah, absolutely massive. I'd love to see you dress up as him. Yeah, well, I just don't think I would really be able to sort of pull it off. I'd have to go as...

Cat Weasel would probably be easier for me. A little sort of long Jimmy Savile-y kind of bloke. I don't actually agree that he's... Oh, Jimmy Savile had quite a wrestling career, to be honest. Nobody talked about that when he died. Or was arrested. Sorry, was accused of all that stuff. Someone showed me a photo yesterday of Arnold Schwarzenegger being presented with, I think, the Mr. Universe title.

When he was a big muscle man. Being presented the trophy by Jimmy Savile. I love it. It's good stuff, isn't it? But I don't actually agree with you that Big Daddy stuck around too long. Because the simple fact is this. I used to watch Big Daddy and enjoy it in the late 80s and I've just noticed that his wrestling debut

was made in 1946. It's good stuff, isn't it? Yeah. People have just experienced a war to end all wars and Big Daddy's coming onto the scene. Incredible stuff, really. So you will dress up as him,

presumably, right? I'll dress up as him, presumably, right? I'll dress up as somebody, I guess. I think there was talk of dressing up like... I can't remember her name now, but I'd look fantastic. Oh, you want to dress up like a woman, but you want to do an Alex Zane, yeah? I would...

Any excuse for Alex, but yeah. Excuse for me, to be honest. I have to say, I'm not kind of laying this at Alex's door particularly, because I don't know this to be the case but there is a there was always a trade a trade a trade a trend sorry that used to annoy me about fancy dress parties when in my view like a fancy dress party is the opportunity to send yourself up a bit right right i started out going to fancy dress parties when i first got invited to them as a young man as i'm trying to be cool right i kind of embarrassed myself by trying

to be cool so i thought no actually that's not what i fancy dress party is all about yeah it's about sending yourself up yeah and then i don't really like it that people use it as an opportunity to try and look sexy i think it's a bit tragic yeah massively uh when you sort of go to places like uh when they used to have those kind of like war parties do you remember like the war parties were quite popular for quite a while it was like

what does that mean well like it was like like second world war kind of fucking rationing fucking lines up the back

of your leg kind of you know gravy browning on your leg business do you remember it was like and the blokes would dress like

fucking pilots and yeah they would tragically just try and like dress all good looking and sexy and stuff like that. Is it just the same kind of genre as people who try and pretend they're in Peaky Blinders? Yeah, pretty much. Yeah, like dressing in a nice three piece suit or whatever. Why can't you just get involved and use every opportunity to be part of the steampunk scene like you do?

Exactly. Yeah, why not? Why not? Get those little glasses you put on a big hat. Goggles. Goggles. Goggles on a big hat. Goggles on a big hat.

That's all you need, really. It's going to be the title of your autobiography. We had a few people get in touch since I mentioned that Northern Ireland thing on Thursday, by the way. And I should probably point out that there is a series on the bbc at the moment called once upon a time in northern ireland five part series i know you won't watch it but it is it's brilliant it's absolutely amazing it's basically a story told through the eyes of people who experienced it right so you know that kind of um that trend in documentaries now that the last dance started where they get people to watch iPads and react to stuff.

Yeah, there's a bit of that obviously speaks to people from different sides of the divide and people like who are, you know, who literally has people who are families were victims of terrorism. People who are reformed terrorists, people who spent time in prison and release under the Good Friday Agreement. All these different things. imprison him and release under the good friday agreement all these different things i it's kind of like a spiritual successor to patrick radden keith's um say nothing which i think is a fucking brilliant book and well recommended as well i think i've mentioned it on here before um but the reason i mentioned on thursday about um bobby sands is basically just finished watching it um it's the one thing i've been able to watch in like my half asleep state and actually get through yeah because it's just so compelling and i do think the bbc gets a lot of stick for a lot of different things and sometimes i think

it's justified but i do think those types of documentaries i don't really think there's anyone else who does it i mean possibly obviously ken burns is probably the only one who does it any better than that like you know do you understand what i mean if you if you if you saw a documentary about a subject you're particularly interested in and then happened to see that it was on Channel 5, would you still watch it? Because you wouldn't. I wouldn't.

Yeah, well, there was an advert for a Channel 5 drama that was running on a radio station that I was listening to. And you do sort of go, who is watching that like because it sounded like something you'd see on it even itv or bbc but it just went it had two of the actors talking um in in the tv show and it was on and it said on channel five i was like i didn't even realize channel five do like their own original stuff and and i'd be like i just wouldn't trust them to to get it right i think i think i think of them as doing really quite surface level documentaries about exploitative subjects and movies yeah and i'm sure i've done i've i've done a couple of you know football's

best moments it's no dmax is it it's no dmax it's no dmax that was one of the things that we tried to do when we were away. When we would go for dinner and we'd put Sammy in his crate, stuck D-Max on because every now and again you'd hear me going, ice-truckers up next. What an egotistical story. That's not egotistical. I just thought my voice might know that I'm still around, but when I wasn't.

That's not a long-term policy for parenting a dog. No, no. My voice might appear on TV at some point. The way that I did when I'm set with a Luke and Pete show. Could have put a Luke and Pete show on, couldn't I? Those talking head shows

that you've done in the past about football's wackiest moments and stuff. I'm pretty sure I know what the answer is going to be to this. Are you embarrassed by them? No. I thought that might be the case. Why would I be? No, I just wondered if...

It's the best it got for me. Well, that's the thing. I've very rarely got asked to do anything like that kind of stuff. But I do... I know you're going to say that I'm just fucking talking shit about this. I actually watched Soccer Radio the other day

and really enjoyed it, but generally speaking, those panel shows and those talking head shows, I see them come on telly and my heart just fucking sinks. I just don't think you see many of those TV shows anymore. But the set-up, you'd sort of turn up and they'd sort of go, right, these are the clips we want you to talk about, and you would very much prepare gags, lines, little things you've sort of come up with and stuff because you want to do a good job for the 200 quid they pay you uh and less and um and then when you turn up they

sort of go uh all right okay talk us through the um talk us through the the the the goal or talk us through the event talk us through palo de canio pushing over the referee talk us through the event, talk us through Paolo De Canio pushing over the referee, talk us through the video game, Tetris. And they'll just make you describe what happens, really. And they don't want you to deviate from it. They don't want you to tell gags. They don't want you to be funny or perform. They just want you literally to sort of go,

and then Paul Durkin did this. It was just like, it's just so shit. Absolute shite. Why are you doing it then? I don't know. Telly, innit? You get a bit on telly and then people go, I've seen you on this thing for the next 10 years. Is that the main reason?

Yeah, of course. Do you think it's good? I don't think anything's good. You've met me before, haven't you? I don't think this is good. That's fair enough. Yeah. You're not getting paid 200 quid for this, you fucker.

If you are, I want words. But I just wondered, is there any, these days it's probably different, but is there anything where, you got an email today where someone said, oh, do you want to come and do this reality show

or this panel show or this talking head show? Yeah, definitely. You're right, I'll laugh. Yeah, it's a piece of piss, isn't it? You just dick about for a bit and then you go home. Yeah.

Get your COVID test. I'm thinking about the last bit and then you go yeah get your covid test I'm thinking about the last time I did one it was very covid testy I think you're you're just it's the best way to be because you're just like

yeah it's fine don't think about it too much just get on with it whereas I'm a lot more kind of existential about it I'm like well

does this represent me I don't think Alice Hemingway would have done this no he's being arrogant no I'm just saying he's outrageously arrogant i'm not that's what i'm saying it's like i get in my own head about it and you'd and you um and you are just far more just like yeah whatever i'll do i don't care

i don't really care so finally i also just just like to say i watched as i said i watched um soccer and i thought it was good i've been quite snobby about it in the past i'm not generally that snobby about TV generally speaking there's a couple of things I don't really like but Soccer Aid I've always turned over because I never watch ITV

but I actually quite liked it I love watching people who aren't footballers play football doesn't it really show you how good footballers are yeah it really does like they run funny

they can't kick a ball and these are celebrities who can kind of play a lot you know what I mean they're pretty good at it. And even the ones you don't expect, they just come out of nowhere and they're just fucking, wow.

Like, that's why I watch Soccer AM, the football stuff. I love watching Jimmy Bullard doing drills. I love watching celebrities try and get top bins. I love all of that. It just really excites me for some reason. That's your Gordon Ramsay's kitchen nightmare, isn't it? It is, it is.

It's really fun and really snackable. And I've just very much enjoyed... Remember when Usain Bolt, I think I said it on the round, when Usain Bolt came out and he was going to be a... You know, he wanted to be a footballer. And I was like, wow! I mean, of course he's going to be the best footballer who ever lived. He's the fastest man alive.

Turns out, it's not all about running around, is it? He's absolutely a trojan of football. He scored a beauty man alive. Turns out, it's not all about running around, is it? He's absolutely a trojan of football. He scored a beauty in soccer, right? He did score. And the thing about that was, that was...

Off the last defender, was he? What a surprise. Yeah, that just happened over and over again. I felt so sorry for that rapper, Bunky Malone, who was basically,

do you want to do soccer, right? Yeah. Yeah, I'd love to do soccer, right? That sounds really good. You're up against Usain Bolt. You're marking Usain Bolt? What? he basically pulled a hamstring

after half an hour nice and the thing is and you totally understand why if you watch the replay

of Usain Bolt's goal yeah right Bugsy Malone is running as hard as anyone

has ever run right no one has ever done more effort in anything than him. And Bolt is just fucking 36 year old, slightly overweight. You say Bolt is jogging. He's like looking around.

He's like a walk in the park. And he's just going away from him. It's crazy. It's absolutely crazy. I actually really enjoyed that. I thought it was good fun. Obviously it's for a good cause and all the rest of it as well. But yeah, generally speaking I tend to not watch

ITV. I'm quite focused on ITV. Are you going to be one of those families that refuse to have the three button on the telly? There were certain kids growing up who could only watch BBC. Oh really? We were kind of quite rationed on tv when we were kids oh really just generally yeah i wasn't allowed to tv is that why you can get get piled through so much

of it now you're like um johnny five in short circuit just want an input well yeah i i need it i you seem to think i've got some kind of incredible capacity for you just seem to be across a lot of stuff and I never I just because I'm someone who would easily watch three hours of YouTube rather than sit down and watch the best film ever made a Scorsese or something like I would rather just sit around

it's when like it's stuff like dramatic stuff is always the difference between like dramatic podcasts like scripted podcasts versus um like a quite a snackable kind of documentary or kind of lifestyle-y kind of magazine show like people will watch we'll listen to like five hours of magaziney stuff but anything scripted there's got a bit of craft to it like they i don't know they're less in they're less wanting to get into because they feel like it's more of an investment to

get into. It's the same amount of time, but it's... It's psychological, isn't it? Psychologically, I feel like I can't get into something, but I can watch a man put a mechanical keyboard on his NX-81 for three hours, like, properly. Yeah. It's so weird. I find the same with Mimi and I have this discussion.

There's a great film out now on Sky Movies, you want to watch it? Oh, I don't know, I can't really commit to a movie. I don't know. And discussion she'll she'll be like there's a great film out now on sky movies you want to watch it oh i don't know i can't really commit to a movie i don't know and then she'll watch like 16 hours of 90 day fiance yeah it's mad isn't it yeah it's weird what you what your brain so i um i don't tend to read much fiction but i do watch i suppose a fair amount of drama and stuff and but to be honest like the last obviously since the baby came along that's a lot i think you know without sounding too fucking pretentious the last four weeks is the longest i've gone without reading a single thing yeah i haven't read a single page of a book since he's been born so it's going to be a challenge going forward just because you're so tired all the time and then

what takes priority is the family and after that the next priority is work and then only after that do you get a chance to do something that you want to do and that's just not happening at the moment. We took River to the Lambeth Country Show Oh my mates love that because they all live in that area and they absolutely bomb that country show. It was so hot

though it was like 30 degrees and obviously when babies are really young they can't have sun cream or anything on so you have to be really careful you have to keep them covered up the whole time and yeah they get a bit hot it's not good and so it was a little bit obviously more stressful than it would have been but it was still kind of cool it's a cool thing i'll tell you what like this particular part of london lambeth council they're actually pretty good at all this stuff like yeah that's a free fucking festival and it was massive and it's full of stuff happening it's culturally really interesting there's loads of artists playing loads of stalls loads of great food loads of activities for kids

a full farm there there's a lot and it was completely free yeah and they do it every year i remember going one time and there was um there's a lot of. John Lewis was very involved. I didn't see John Lewis this year. Maybe they've taken a step back. Did you have any artisanal coffee? I don't drink coffee, do I? I mean, you could have a little.

Hang on, you're getting through fatherhood drinking tea. I don't like coffee. Make my life worse by doing something I don't like. You can have different flavours and stuff. i only say it because i've just spotted um a set four bags of different blends of coffee um sponsored not sponsored but you know like um in the same way craft ale they don't simply care about ip uh the coffee um uh dickheads have come up with a basically beetles themed um coffee and they've got four different brands and they've got four different beetles on them and they've got four different names would you like to speculate as to what the coffee pun is can you give me can

you give me the first one as an example and i'll try and guess the other three love love me brew ah okay so songs not not the actual people yeah Love, love me brew. Oh, okay. So it's songs, not the actual people. Yeah, songs. Love, love me brew. Think about big Beatles songs. Big old Beatles songs. Okay. I really want to do something here.

I really want to do myself justice here. Yeah. He's looking at Beatles songs. I can see him. His eyes have got this. I'm trying to remind myself of Beatles song titles. Yeah. Brilliant. I love this. Fatherhood of Beatles song titles. Yeah. Brilliant.

I love this. Fatherhood has meant that Luke of Peach Show is literally, I'm going to inhabit the job that Luke used to inhabit, where Luke goes, what is this? I can't get Ellen the Rigby out of my head. Ellen the Rigby. I love all those songs. Octopus's Garden.

What is wrong with you? I can't get a part. What about, something about Yellow Submarine? Yeah, Sub, Sub, Sub,

Sub Sandwich would go well with a coffee, I don't know. So, I've got a really annoying tick whenever Mimi and I

watch MasterChef where they always, whenever they make a curry, they always, they always do a cooling cucumber writeraita with it. Right, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I always sing to Mimi.

Cucumber raita. And it's a really hot curry, so I'm going to need a cucumber raita. Cucumber raita. But tell them with the coffees. Go for it. Hair brewed. Oh, that's shit. That is fucking shit.

It's not the best thing to come up with. Let it bean. Yeah. With a little help from my blend. That is fucking shit that's the best I can come up with let it bean yeah with a little help from my blend that is fucking shit they are terrible choices they're awful aren't they absolutely terrible

really bad and if nothing else this is it's just good that Paul McCartney's announced that there's going to be a new Beatles song coming out

I know finished by with A.I. or whatever yeah I saw I sent that to a friend of mine. Do you know my friend Duncan? Yes. He's a massive Beatles guy.

Like, he's like, so he's the editor of a, of a music magazine as a job. So he's like proper about it, serious about it. And I sent that to him and it seemed like a really interesting idea. But to be honest,

man, I'm still trying to think of coffee puns around the Beatles. Did you say that she loves brew or not? There's a lot. No, love, love me brew, hair brew. Oh, yeah. Yeah, brew seems to be quite useful in the coffee space, to be honest. I think what they've done here is they've decided to do this

and they've just said, what we'll do is we'll just name them after Beatles songs and we'll do puns. And they've realised towards the end of the process it's actually really hard yeah and i can't think of any good ones i need some coffee oh darling i'd love a coffee just stuff like that yeah it's not great rubbish are you gonna make a purchase or not uh no i'm not because i i don't buy loose coffee i bought this horrible vanilla blend. You know, like American coffee,

there's always some French vanilla in there somewhere. And I bought some that you put in a cup and mix up. And yeah, just atrocious. Absolutely atrocious. Most disgusting thing I've ever tasted in my life. Absolutely foul. The Ballad of John and Yo-Jo. What? A cup of Joe?

Yeah, Joe is coffee, isn't it? I thought it was Job. No, it's Joe, isn't it? J-O-E, Joe. Morning, Joe. Oh, yeah. Okay, yeah, fair. Job. I thought it was a cup of Job.

Job? Yeah, a cup of Job. Yeah. That is absolutely ridiculous. Where's that come from? I don't bloody know. Right, we've got to take an ad break. Oh, shit, we haven't even taken an ad break.

No, we'll take an ad break. We'll take an ad break and we'll come back with some emails. Because right now we need some more emails. Sure. No. Hello at lucanpichot.com. No, I guess. Baby, you can drive my char.

That's T though, isn't it? Yeah, that's T. That's Japanese word for T. We're back with Luca Pichot. We've got some emails for you i'm gonna kick things off luke with a teenage mutant ninja turtles uh related email if that's all right i feel brine what fine i feel fine yeah get back in the cupboard yeah carry on. Oh, dear. Right.

Okay, hang fire. Yeah. Good morning, both. This is from Alan. I've been listening since the days of Luke and Pete's summer. You asked on Thursday for acts of pedantry, and I've got one that I was very guilty of for a number of years. The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles should be called the Teenage Mutant Ninja Tortoises.

As far as I was aware, turtles lived in the ocean and had fin-like appendages near their head, while tortoises are land dwellers and therefore have feet. The 80s comic book characters have therefore been misclassified. I once made this comment whilst at the Sea Life Centre with my niece and nephew, to which one of the staff members told me that all tortoises are in fact turtles

and that I've been wrong for many years. I'll leave that for you to decide who is the bigger pedant between me and the aforementioned staff member. Love the show. Thank you for hours of entertainment, Alan. Now, I didn't pre-read that email, as I don't pre-read a lot of things that I read out, at Hello Adverts.

I, yeah, I'm completely at sea, either as a tortoise or a turtle. I think I've probably shed some light. Yeah. Although I was only half listening because I couldn't get my brain to get past beetles coffee puns okay um but hopefully i'll listen to shit we'll be able to get in touch with some and make our lives easier yeah so americans do tend to call any kind of type of tortoise or that type of animal um i don't know what i don't know what the latin name for it would be what is it is it a um tetanus maximus test they're called testudinae apparently right um any type of that kind of animal americans will call a turtle right okay so like for it but

you but but in the same way that i get upset by people miss um you know uh misannouncing misannouncing umcing apes and stuff. It's exactly the same principle. It's incorrect though, isn't it? What's your beef with the apes again?

What's it, if they've got a tail it's a chimp or something? Yeah, what people say are monkeys are usually chimps. Yeah,

right. So, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, the point I'm making is it's an American brand. So, it's not like it's come from a Japanese

cartoon or something. It's American and they call every type of tortoise American brand. So it's not like it's come from a Japanese cartoon or something. It's American. And they call every type of tortoise a turtle. So what's the point? What's his point? Well, I mean, I guess, I mean, the point is that he was being a pedant in the same way that I'm a pedant about the chimps. And then he was out-pedanted by a person at the zoo.

It all sounds mad. It all sounds absolutely insane. Have you seen that? I don't know if I've mentioned this to you before. It all sounds mad. It all sounds absolutely insane. Have you seen that... I don't know if I've mentioned this to you before, but it's right up your street. Have you seen that Netflix documentary series, Chimp Empire? No, where they are... They have wars and stuff, don't they, chimps?

Yeah, it's really fucking good. They're very weird. It's the only documentary about chimps I've seen that properly explores the social dynamics in a really detailed way i mean i fuck knows how they filmed it i have no idea how they did it it's like in the middle of a ugandan rainforest yeah yeah um and they have like they follow really intimately like loads of different chimps and they follow all their different dynamics and obviously it's a very complicated social structure.

They must have so many behavioural experts to be able to discern what's going on. But it's narrated by Mahershala Ali. So it's a really good series. And for someone like you, Pete, it's right up your street, mate. Yeah, well, look, I'm still waiting for the Netflix documentary about Long Boy,

who apparently is missing presumed dead they've sort of had a really sad news to break in about Longboy a University of York

well just a duck that became a star of social media and was a star of the show for quite a while a really long tall

duck called Longboy is believed to have died. They're yet to find the body, burial at sea, like Bin Laden. He's not been found. He's missing. If a duck goes missing...

He was quite long as well, wasn't he? Bin Laden was quite long. Bin Laden, yeah. He was Longboy. Tall, wasn't he? Evil Longboy. How tall was Bin Laden? I think he might have been like six foot four.

Yeah, he was absolutely massive. Evil Longboria. Boyeria. Evil Longboria.iria Eva Longboria Eva six foot four yeah that's tall innit for for

for you know to be that terroristy and that and that tall like

I can't imagine there's many taller terrorists if you know what I mean yeah he must be the tallest terrorist he's got to be the tallest terrorist and he also a tall tale about a tall terrorist he lived to quite an age as well which means he probably

would have started to have those problems you fear for me like neck problems yeah that's probably why he's so angry yeah probably why he perpetrated the the attacks but listen human going back to the osama bin laden of the duck world which i think is unfair yeah i mean he's not committed any atrocities that we know of we've never seen him in the Bora Bora Tora Tora which was the caves

Tora Bora the Tora Bora I got it right sort of the Bora Tora but is Bora Bora like somewhere nice

isn't Bora Bora like holiday destinations French Bologna isn't it yeah good that's the thing about

let me just make this point about Lone Boy and then I'll come on to Bora Bora. If you're a duck and you've been missing for three months, you're dead. Three months is just too long a period. What do you mean? I'm confused.

If you're a duck and you've been missing for three months, what's your point? My point is that ducks live for about five years in total. He's probably dead he's a duck no one fucking knows

yeah but I want to see the body yeah we need to see a body so that the duck parents can have closure exactly yeah you can't just sort of

declare you know it's like what about the rest of the duck Manic Street Preachers what are they going to do they need closure so they can do their album

if this was a good show i would do a coffee pun on the manic street preachers now as a callback well i want people to know that i thought about doing that but i'm not talented enough all right well i'm gonna round up the show with the best uh beatles pun that could possibly be related to coffee i'm only sleeping well not anymore because you got a cup of coffee goodbye everyone this has been we'll be back on Thursday for more of this if you'd like to get into

please motorcycle empty cup hello at lukeandpeachshaw.com to get in touch um gold against the soul uh

uh Bible generation terrorists no I've got nothing they're just album titles for crying out loud yeah this is my cup tell me no oh god this is awful Generation Terrorists no I've got nothing they're just album titles for crying out loud yeah

this is my cup tell me no this is my brew tell me yours this is my brew tell me yours yeah

someone works Absolute Radio for a long time four stone seven pounds of coffee what America drank coffee

for one day its whole world would fall apart its arse would fall apart right alright let's get let's get out of here we'll be back on Thursday

at hellokinpcho.com do send us an email and we'll be back then ta ta the luke and pete show is a stack production and part of the acast creator network