The Luke and Pete Show - Elderly Japanese Lady Golfer

Episode Date: March 26, 2026

Remember when you used to get fat footballers? Luke and Pete do.On today’s episode, the guys discuss the sartorial choices of football fans of the past and present, as well as those of golfers and middle-aged men more generally. Not only that, but there’s an offering for the Battery Robot and some big news concerning Afroman.Send us your latest stories, questions and comments here: [e-mail]. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the Luke and the Pete show. It is Thursday, 26th of March. How the hell do we get here and how the hell do we get Luke Moore in a room? Yo, I'm regularly in rooms. The most in-demand podcaster in the world. Looky Moos here. Well, that's a big, a big, a big, what's it called? Buildup.

I'm always, I'm regularly in rooms. Big old cock. I'm regularly in rooms. What are you talking about how do we get Luke Moore in a room? I'm always in a room. You're with you. You're in a room with me earlier on, enjoying each other's company. I was. We did a ramble episode together. I like it when you're in the hosting chair because I never know what's going to happen.

Exactly, exactly. And I'm usually dressed a lot better as well, sort of gone off because I'm sort of taken down, because basically the OTC lot, they dress better than us, I would say. Have you picked up on? And Dotten's obviously, you know, he puts up the average a bit, but they always dress quite well. and I always feel quite guilty that I am sort of getting out of the hosting chair for the ramble and then Dotten comes in and sits down and he's always dressed like, you know, he's attending the Brits. Yeah, you ain't going to win any kind of cool-off competition with fucking Dotson. No, I know. I know. It's a shame. But I've stopped wearing my suits because they have, because I've demolished it a cupboard.

I don't have any way to keep my suits. They're out and about free for the moths again. I've stopped to eat in my suit because I've demolished a whole top of ice cream or something. I mean, some of the, I know I've said this before, but I have never known someone to wear as consistently tight clothes as you. Yeah. How do you find, how do you deal with the lack of comfort in that? Because if I had my while, I'd be wearing tracksuit bottoms every day. I only work three hours a day.

It's easy. So we're doing it. No, the, uh, it's because, you were those ones on the other day, like curtains, the really tight ones. I could basically see the outline of your cock. Yeah, I've got, I think I've got rid of them. I think I threw them. I think I threw them out in a fit of, peak.

They're the trousers of a much younger man. I don't know. I think that's, I think you can wear them. When you get to about 60, you could wear him again. Well, what am I here?

Just in the dark horrible hinterland, aren't we now? The metaverse. Am I in the Pity Metaverse? I've got a, I'm not allowed legs. Yeah,

no gloves. But you know, you and I are in that hinterland. We're in that middle-aged man hinterland where, yeah, it's wear a lot of,

so basically, you know there a lot of this fuckery around men just being terrible. So that Louis Theruth thing's thrown it all into, into stark focus.

And it's quite funny actually because I know my friend Aaron he produced that documentary I was chatting to her about it. I hope I'm not trying to confidence here. I probably am. He won't mind. He said it was great making that for Netflix

because it was much more hard hitting. There's a load of stuff in it that the BBC would have run a mile from. Right, I see. Yeah, okay, nice. There's stuff that they could. There's only one or two things they couldn't include because it was on Netflix.

I think they felt it quite liberating. But anyway, the point of the making Trane of confidence. That's a little lovely bit, a little bit of intel, I think. A little bit of intel. Yeah. The, the, um, the,

the source of that stuff is obviously young men who feel disenfranchised or ignored or whatever. Yeah. Right. It's where it kind of comes from, isn't it? But I think that being a middle age man is absolutely prime for ignorance. You get ignored by everyone when you're a middle age man. I think everyone's being racist towards white people. No, but you know what I'm saying is, no, no.

No, no, no, no, don't twist it because you're frightened. Don't twist it because you're frightened of a conversation. In the words of Don Drip, but that's what the money is for. Yeah, right. Yeah, yeah, fine. You're basically getting paid to fuck off and disappear to everybody. Well, I can't disappear because I've got to do this fucking shit. I would do.

But no, all I'm saying is, and you can't, it's impossible to dress, unless you want to dress like a really, really smart person with loads of money. You can't walk in. I mean, you're different because you do what you want. Your Sartourer's a different But like I know top man's closed now But look into a top man

Or an H&M As a 45 year old man It looks mental But I don't think it does I don't think it generally I think if you're wearing like I think Huddies and stuff

Do you know what I mean Huddies and sort of like Really casual wear The sort of thing you see On teenagers on the train You're like what are in that for That's awesome What's more

What's worse is doing Like a podcast about We Budjabobj Japanese stuff. Do you know what I mean? That's worse. You can't dress yourself out of that one would suggest. I will say I always go to a wrestling match and I always dress as well as I can when I go to wrestling matches. Why? Because everybody else in the auditorium is dressed in a black t-shirt and jeans every single time. And you don't want to be mistaken for a wrestler, right? You don't be chucked around the ring. So you've just, right, you look like a manager instead. Good point, actually, yeah. I'll just hope somebody will go, do you want to be the new mouth of the south with a megaphone? be fantastic. Yeah, they don't really have managers anymore. Mouth of the North.

Yeah. The talking... The managers were a big part of wrestling for me when I was, like it when I was a kid. Valets, managers, Harvey Whippelman and Mouth of the South and... Yeah. Don't really have them anymore.

We might mention this before, but Harvey Whippelman's a weird one because I was absolutely stunned to see how young he is. Right, okay. Because when he was doing this, when he was playing like, the old kind of manager of wrestlers.

He started doing that in 1979. When he was 14. When he was 14 years old. He must have been a tall 14. He was telling a story recently that he was in Heathrow at the height of the troubles. And he knew a wrestler who happened to be called Adam Bomb. Oh, I remember Adam Bomb.

I remember him. Yeah, Adam Bomb. Yeah. And he was shouting at him. in, Bob! Hey, Bob! Come up for you. And the authorities

treated him with exactly what was needed at the time. I thought Adam Bomb was so underrated. He looked amazing and he had that kind nuclear reactor Lycra. Hell of a body. Hell of a body. But again, they spent a lot of money on it.

I don't know. There's a guy in WCW called Van Hammer who had like a sort of poodle perm kind of rocker gimmick. And he had a hell of a ball. but I mean he couldn't really wrestle but that shouldn't be that shouldn't ever be a

stumbling block some of the mock they've had through all those all those years ago So would you say a wrestling show is probably the worst turnout in terms of sartorial elegance Sartori elegance because it's the same thing everyone just wears the same thing

Everyone just wears a t-shirt with something funny on it or you know a bit of it's basically sort of saying to the wrestlers I love you look at what I've spent on you it's like a weird kind of

meeting of like only fans clients isn't it? It's kind of like people who will sort of turn up to W.E shows and stuff and they'll have a belt over themselves and they're basically saying look what I've spent on you Vince McMahon look what I've spent you're like a financial dominatrix

look what I've spent on you in golf events as well the sartorial choices of golf fans is Matt because they all dress as golfers right do they actually dressers So if you watch, if you watch, if the Masters is in a few weeks time, if you watch the Masters and you watch the fans attending,

they will all be dressed as golfers. If you know anything about golf and there was like five or six lads in their early 20s in pretty good Nick, you could easily get confused between who was a golfer and who wasn't. Yeah. They wear the hats, the clothes shirts tucked in, everything. I would, if I was going to dress like a golfer, if somebody said you've got to dress like a golfer, If somebody said you've got to dress like a golf for the next six months, it will be like a, you know, like an old, you sort of see them on the courses in Japan quite a lot, like the pitching puts, visor, sort of, sort of, sort of, sort of thing. I basically dress like an elderly Japanese, Japanese lady golfer.

I'd love that. I love that. I'd love to dress like an elderly Japanese lady golfer. The one thing that frustrates me about golfers in that way, obviously I love golf, is that they don't... Now you do. I always love watching it.

Right. They have a great opportunity to wear some really quite fucking gnarly shit, and they never do. Well, there's that man who smokes a cigarette, who's the fat bloke. John Daly. He's not a serious concern these days. Yeah, but was he a serious...

I presume he was a serious concern. He won a major. I think he might want two majors, actually. Yeah. It's the Shane one of... Yeah. But it's back when, it's back, when you could get away

with that stuff. I think the problem is with... Do you... Do you... Can you... Can you... I'm sure you could still get away with that for golf. Not really. No? Nah. There'll be a wild card around at some point. That Iranian fella at Wimbledon.

It's honestly mirrored... I have a top-level sport, really. They're all just tanks now. Yeah. Okay. They're not... It's not very boring. Creatine's got a fucking hold on us, on it? People... Younger people listen to this, like, genuinely fat for...

footballers. I remember. I remember like Pompey when I was first going to watch him when I was like, you know, whatever it was, 11 years old. Late era John Barnes. Yeah, he, yeah, exactly. He never got on him. But he was a special talent, no, he's a special talent.

Like you'd get players who, I can remember, I'm pretty sure I can remember, because back in the late 80s, early 90s, the kits were quite tight as well. Yeah. But it got to about 93, 93, 94 when the primarily came in, maybe just after when they started to get really baggy kits. Nobody had abs. Nobody had abs.

No. I remember seeing it, I remember seeing, I'm sure I do on TV. Like some players, professional players, that you could see their belly kind of under there between their shirt and shorts. Nobody had abs, nobody had asthma. It's the two. It's the two weirdly. Yeah, there's no place for that now.

They're all athletes, aren't they? No. It's the same of golf film, I'm afraid. At least in football. Darts have got to be, that'll be the last bastion of the, Yeah, you get some fat lads in good d'clock. But even, I mean, Luke Littl is a bit of a fat lad, didn't he? He's amazing.

But in football culture, Pete, there was always a really big fashion part of it, wasn't there? What do you mean as in, like, people wearing the clothes of the person that they're... No, no, there's a whole part of football terrorist culture is fashion, isn't it? Yeah, but I mean, I think that's kind of like, you know, teams like Arsenal sort of grabbed that and really rammed with it. No, but I mean, back in the day, like, in the football terrorist culture is fashion, isn't it? the 17th's 80s, a hooligan culture was all about fashion as well. Oh, yes. Certain brands.

You dress up really smart to go to the football and have a fight, which is kind of an interesting phenomenon, really. Yeah, and sort of, because you just get blood like blood on your Fred Perry. Yeah. And just you haven't to sort of wash it before your mam saw it. You see it now as well. You see like young lads and they've got like, I mean, honestly, this is not an exaggeration to say.

If I go to a football game now and you happen to be on the train or walking up to the ground with, and you see a load of young lads, maybe teenagers who are all going as part of it and they love the culture and that kind of stuff. They are all wearing clothes that I could nowhere near a for. I know how they're doing. Stone Island's expensive, isn't it? So expensive.

The block of the odour, his son, like, a really lovely lad, like really lovely kind of middle class boy has started like hanging out with like young mates at like South End and they're calling themselves a little firm and stuff. It's absolutely adorable.

Yeah. Lovely stuff. But you know those CP Company jackets that, you see Pep Guarda, Pepi Gala wears CP Company jumpers sometimes as well. Do you know CP Company? I don't. It's just one of those brands where you're like,

I just... So they're all basically Italian apparel company. Stone Island's Italian, CP Company. Right. They've got this jacket, it's like a goggle jacket thing, which is, I think, was made originally in the 80s, but it's come back now

because it's a subculture in English football hooligan well. Sturcles, right? And so people want to wear that shit because they want to look like they're part of the part of the fub and all that kind of crap. Yeah. But those CP company puffer jackets

are like 750 quid. And you see like kids wearing them? It's mad. But it's kind of like it's... Surely you want something, if you're in a firm, you're going to have a fight. You want something that's not going to get damaged. It's your best clothes.

But it is, I guess it is all... I guess it is all about sort of going out with your friends and looking the best that you can do. Yeah, and if you listen to, we obviously made that show The English Disease, which won that award, won the SJ Award stuff, and our colleagues made it,

and it's about the intersection between football hooliganism, far-right politics, masculinity and all the rest of it. But there's some really interesting interviews all through it, as you'd expect, but one of the interesting things about it is that there's a guy in it, I forget his name now, Asian guy, who is part of Lester's kind of football, firm, like Lesnar kind of firm, right?

Yeah. And he's like, and when he talks about how he gravitated towards that firm, it's like, he was like, it was so inclusive,

like the only, it's like, none of them were racist towards me. I felt like I had, I belonged to when I was growing up in the 70s in Leicester as an Asian lad, I was getting abused all the time.

And so I found this, so it was almost like a very, and I know there's some exceptions to that because there were some firms that were really racist, but a lot of them were very kind of equal opportunity in,

inclusive kind of family type affairs. And they all wanted to dress the business and look really great. And then they wanted to look their best when they were going to the football and fighting. Honestly, it's a really fascinating subculture. Yeah, completely agree. You can't be turning up. I can't agree. You can't be turning up, mate, dressed in, you know.

Dressed in your trousers that look like the inside of a cell. No, or trousers that look like an elderly woman's curtains. Yes. Although maybe that could be your thing. You could be like the guy. Yeah. You could be like the joker type guy. Yeah.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Yeah. Come on, boys. Let's get them. Yeah. It's a bit more camp than you'd probably get away with. But. Ha ha ha ha.

Right, Peter, you called out the emails on the thing last week. Let's do some fucking emails. Let's go away and then come up. Oh, we got a battery as well this week. What? Shubbing up my ass. We'll be back in a minute. We're back with Luke and Pete's.

We've got a battery, Lukie Moore. Our occasion. Now, now we thought it was dead, this feature. But every now and again, a battery. A battery. Oh, fuck, God. Ah, fuck. Ah, that's not the right one, is it?

Oh, ho. Uh... Hello. Hey! How's it going? I do, guys. I've been at Stasis for a very long time. Have you had a software update?

Uh, no. I am sadly decommissioned at this point in time. Um, battery robot. Will you be affected by the Metaverse closing down? No, I am very much. oil and batteries. Did you say the robot that wouldn't stop dancing?

No. It was a robot in China in a restaurant and it wouldn't stop dancing. Can you ask Pete to tell me about it, please? Battery Robot. Why? Is his voice somehow annoying? It's quite difficult to hear the detail. That's all.

With Battery Robot. It was a Chinese robot. I'll take over battery robot. Okay. There's a robot in China in a restaurant One of those bipedal jobs And I think his job is just to entertain People in the restaurant in the

I think it's like one of those kind of like big It's fucking itchy Not itchy, itchy band What was the fucking flip a egg into a big Big hot plate Big hot plate The fellas fucking Flip the egg into it

their hat sometimes. What are you talking about? They cook everything on a big hot plate. It's a, not Ichibany. It's a cold, not Coco Ichabania. It's a fucking hot plate. I can see someone's typing in the running order. What have we got here?

It's not me. Tepaniaki, yes. Yes, kind of. Well done, yeah, fine. Not really, but yes. A tepanias. What's the, Benyana? Benyana, Tappaniagchi, I think.

Anyway, there's a fucking... It's a fucking dancing robot. and it won't stop dancing. It just gets in a dancing loop and it just starts flipping out and it keeps dancing and the people have to drag it away from the people because it keeps like knocking big balls of oil over and stuff

because it won't stop dancing. That's amazing. What a great bit of work. Those videos you see of all these Chinese robots doing these amazingly synchronised dance moves and kung fu moves and stuff. Are they real? Is that like...

No, I don't know real. I mean, what are you going to do with them? No, but is it actually happening is what I mean? Yeah, yeah, I think so. I don't think it's CGI or anything. Yeah, they're actual robots, but I mean, they've got incredible balancers. It's very impressive, but you do sort of think what, quite limited applications.

No, I don't see that. I look at that and I think, fucking hell. Keep them away from me. Keep them away from me. It might kick me up the bomb. Actually, we've got a battery. Yeah, yeah. We have, yes.

From Andrew Law. I am the law. I am the law. Looking for us third. successful submission. Hi, gents. I'm not sure what a attempt we're up to with trying to secure the elusive

hat trick of submissions. But I've got another one for you. I found this all-power alkaline at work. Maybe Al-Power? Al-Power, I'll say, yeah. I mean, nowadays you'd look at it and say, is that AI power? Yeah, I don't think it is.

I think it's Al-Powal-At-Wark. And I'm hoping that, as it seems to be a Korean brand, it might not have made an appearance before. Cheers, Andy. Look, you remember. Al-Power. Yeah, it's a brand new player. Congratulations to you, Andrew.

Feed that into battery robot's belly right now. Wow! Wow! That's awesome. Wow! Great celebration, by the way. Wow. That was my... That was...

That was gone, Ramsey. That's amazing. I mean, well done. Well, well, well, well, well, and if you've got any more batteries, if you found something that we'd like, if you feel duty-bound to resurrect the battery, feature. We gave it enough sauce over the years.

We did. We gave it a good amount of time. But things must die eventually, even batteries unless they're rechargeable. But even they die. Right, should we do an email? Looky Mojo. Do you want to do a loki email? Yeah, we'll do one. We had a load of people email us in about

Afro-Man. Do you know about Afro-Man? Why is everyone an email about Afro-Man when Afro-Man is in the news, like literally this week? he's in court. You think that's why people are demon they're saying,

I see. Because this geyser Afro man who wrote 2000s because I got high I was gonna pay my child support and I got high It's a massive hit.

It's a massive hit for me at uni this. I mean it was everywhere at uni that and who let the dogs out. Yeah. Similar vibes. But for different I think going out,

Bahá men who let the dogs out, coming back because I got high. Yeah. So anyway, Afro-Man was the subject of a raid by some sheriff's deputies in 2022. Yes. And so he wrote and released, I believe, some songs and videos about the raid.

Because the raid, I think, was an erroneous raid. It didn't lead to any charges. He didn't get arrested. And so he just basically piped up and said, I'm making some songs and some videos about this. There's a song called Lemon Pound Cake, which is apparently about one of the deputies in his kitchen iron up his lemon cake. And then he accused of a load of some other shit, which I won't go into. They then sued him for defamation. This is in Ohio.

He turned up to the hearing dressed in a star-spangled by a suit. dressed and sunglasses. He's dressed in the sunglasses he was wearing in the video, which is a real fuck-you. And he won the court case. Yes. So, I mean,

come on. I mean, that's just wonderful, isn't it? Yeah. He said, just wonderful. He said,

we did it, America, yeah, we did it, freedom of speech. The whole raid was a mistake. All of this is their fault. If they hadn't wrongly raid in my house,

there would be no lawsuit. I would not know their names. There would be no songs, nothing. The deputies themselves have requested 3 million pounds of damages for humiliation, ridicule, mental, with distress, embarrassment and lost a reputation.

I mean, fucking shut up. Yeah, fucking nodded. A, fucking shut up and B, I mean, it's the George Michael being caught wanking in the toilet, isn't it? You know, it's kind of like, look, you're more likely to get money out of George Michael. I think Afromans probably, you know.

Well, you say that, Pete. He's got a lemon pound kick. Afro-Man, apparently, he released two songs, one called lemon pound cake, as you said, which has got 3.6 million views on YouTube. And if that wasn't bad enough for the sheriff's deputies,

he then released a follow-up called Will you help me repair my door? We've got 9 million. Fucking 9 million views. Afro-man's still massive online. That's a bit of it. I was trying to go high so it would sound deeper. No.

That's not bad. No. Go on and leave a child support. A good song. It was a good song. And I don't think it was so stripped back. I don't think there was any samples in that one. How many... It was a very simple beat, wasn't it?

How many subscribers do you think Afro-Man's got on YouTube? His success probably predated massive YouTube applications for subscribership. One would suggest it might be 300,000. It's over a million. Over a million. Well done him. Why don't that for him? He's got some hits, man.

He's got a lot of popular videos on here. He has got a lot of popular videos on here, but I mean, I fear that, like, he probably made more when he's out of the YouTube streaming revenue than he did the actual songs themselves. One of his biggest videos on his channel is called Smoke on it. Very much a theme, yeah. He's very much, who did rap superstar and rock superstar?

Cyprus Hill. Very much, you know, get you know, in the slip stream. of weed-based wrapping. Very low-energy Afro-Man. Afro-Man's Wikipedia photo is him playing a twin-necked Gibson Les Paul. Yeah. Which is not what I expected. It just sounds like he's living his life properly, I think.

Lemon Poundcake. Oh, that's funny. Well done, Afro-Man. You've had a lovely time. I had no idea who's still kicking about. It's great to still kicking against the pricks. Yeah. Kicking against the pricks.

The thing about, like, American police, they frequently bash, shoot their way into the wrong house. Yeah. I realise America is vast and each road has 4,000 fucking numbers on it, like houses on it, which is mental. Just break it off into different roads guys. You'll happily have a road that's like, I'm at number 4,03.

It's like, what? Just sort it out. But they constantly just bashing their way through the wrong houses, grommet. I'm upset. with the guys who, I'm not obsessed, but have you listened to that, the rest is, not counterfeit, the rest is, the rest is classified. Classified, where you've got a guy who seems to know.

Magnus, the cat's here, by the way, sorry. Magnus, he's a fan, he's a fan. It's a show in which a man who used to work for one of the American agencies and a man who I don't think knows anything about. anything seems to sort of correlates and and even for me you know I have no usual interest in but I listened to like a three-parter at the weekend where it was about the fellas who tried to smuggle drinks onto planes and and did that plot and they

they were in um is it late in storm somewhere in a flat in the bolt hall and in somewhere in London and they were sort of putting together the bottles and stuff to make this to get the bombs on planes and stuff and they and MI5 or whatever

sort of sneaked in under the curve of darkness in this house and installed cameras and put you know put audio in and stuff and uh and the guy,

the expert is going yeah you know obviously you need a power source for a lot of these cameras and he's gone and the horse is going And he's like a journalist of like, you know, politics. It's Gordon Carrera, right?

He's the BBC guy. Yeah. Yeah, a BBC guy of, and his specialisation is this sort of thing pretty much. And he's sort of saying, yeah, probably battery powered, wouldn't it? It was like going, what, in 2003? Like, we just didn't have the technology then. And every time the guy's like, he's just baffled by Gmail and stuff. I'm like, this guy isn't the best thing guy for the job.

I enjoyed it mentally. It's all right for you to slam off other shows, is it? I'm not allowed to. It's a very specific show, though, isn't it? Yours is like a blunderbuss. Mine's like a sniper rifle. Also a referencee, he wouldn't understand. Battery powered sniper rifle.

What's a sniper rifle, he'd say? David, I found that show disappointing, I have to say. But David McCloskey, the other guy, he wrote Damascus Station, which is a really good spy novel. I really liked it. The reason I read it is because one of the other rest is, was it the rest is politics leading, they interviewed the ex-head of MI5. Right. And asked her what's, or, I think, they're two, from memory,

had two ex-spies on the fucking show, and they were asking them about what spying is actually like in the modern world. And one of them said, read Damascus Station by David McCloskey. That is the most accurate spy novel of what it's like to be a spy in like 2020s. And I read it and I really liked it. The other guy I don't care for much. But, but yeah, so I don't really listen to that show. Yeah, he's good.

It sounds mad. Anyway, Peter, it's very much like a Luke and Pitcho. One, you know what they're talking about. The other one's got no clue. But who's who, Chris Camara? Who's who, Chris Camara? Let's get out of here. I tell you what, I know the email address.

Hello at Luke and Pitcho.com. See, we did read it one out. Two, in fact, if you include the battery. We'll be back on Monday. And, yeah, you're back on Monday since the 30th of March. And it's soon going to be my birthday. I'm soon going to be 45 years old, Madam Speaker. He turned to a bit of Jimmy Saville.

before you said Madam Speaker. Ooh. There's going to be a lot of Americans wearing Jimmy Saville clothes for Halloween, I think. What? Where's that come from? That born daddy, fucking, remember Born Daddy? That was a good ramen restaurant back in the day.

The Bourne Yard, the Jimmy Saville character in that, very popular in America. There's a lot of people sort of saying they're going to dress as Jimmy Saville for Halloween, but not really knowing why. Oh, right. And I don't think she should be allowed. Is this a movie with singing in it, Mel Gibson,

28 days later. No, it's 28 days later. Oh, you're in the bone temple, you're fucking idiot. The bone daddies. The cherry-popping bone daddies. For goodness sake, just get us out of me, you're not confusing me, let alone listeners. Tata!

I've got to go and pick up my daughter from childcare. Bye! Bye! Worrying. The Luke and Pete Show is a stack production and part of the A-cast Creator Network.