The Luke and Pete Show - Episode 104: Clowning about

Episode Date: October 4, 2018

Remember when that guy swore at his mum during Christmas dinner? Well, another listener gets in touch with a similar bout of behaviour along the same theme, while another is getting stuck in an isolated toilet block in eastern Europe. Meanwhile, a man is hit in the face by a seal carrying an octopus, a listener has a present from NASA brought home from work by father, and Pete has been taken aback by a hotel in Macau.Just the usual then, something for everyone. And if none of that takes your fancy, stick around for chat about the great heavyweight champion Jack Johnson, and an 80 year old Japanese DJ (separately).Make yourself known: [e-mail]***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This party is disgusting. In a week in which a man was slapped in the face by a seal holding an octopus, the Luke and Pete show is needed more than ever. which a man was slapped in the face by a seal holding an octopus. Liar! The Luke and Pete show is needed more than ever. That was a wonderful video. Episode 104. We are back in the habit, back in the hot seats, and trying to make sense of the world around us

for the next half an hour of nonsense and emails from you. Hello at LukeandPeteShow.com. And we could go anywhere. So strap yourself in, put your seatbelt on. I'll and we could go anywhere. So strap yourself in, put your seatbelt on. I say we could go anywhere. We're probably going to end up talking about

Pete's dad and one or two other bits and pieces. How are you? I'm Luke Moore. That's Pete Donaldson. How are you, Peter? Apologies for making

disgusting noises. Luke said put all the porridge you can in your mouth and I did. But it's special porridge which is like fucking glue. Fuel porridge. It's got extra protein.

You're like Mike Parry doing the cinnamon challenge there. It was disgusting. I mean, it tastes nice because it's got golden syrup in there but just the actual mouthfeel.

It's so heavy. 70 grams of protein. I'm going to make an editorial decision so that the listeners aren't that interested in that but what they will be interested in is your take

on a man in a kayak being slapped in the face by a seal holding an octopus if you would just give us your take on that but start off by describing for people who haven't seen it what takes place was it not a canoe kayak it's a kayak really a canoe's a canoe's an open topped boat it's a popular misconception. Well, thank you. Thank you for that. Not that popular. And yes, basically, a man is in his kayak

and he's on the open sea and he's, you know, going along. And suddenly, a seal leaps out of the water. He's got a fucking octopus in his mouth and he throws it

at the man's face. Yeah. Sucker punched, if you will. I mean, there must be a pretty niche list of people who've been hit in the face but animals carrying other animals oh it's it's up there with me in kenya with the tea tray hitting a hippo in the nose i've never seen that and i will never see that again i certainly that is a unique situation yeah um imagine coming into your hotel room toilet and seeing a metal grabber grabbing your

shower curtain and stealing it and taking it to the watery depths of your toilet. We're not doing that again. That's a surprising

event you'd probably say. Imagine if the guy who we spoke to earlier in the week did the experiment and as he was pulling the grabber

back out of the toilet there was a seal in it with an octopus and it hit him in the face. That would be perfect Luke Moore and Pete Donaldson

fair it would so yeah it was probably my fate well there was a story of a whale swimming up the Thames wasn't there last week

and I thought that's going to be the best animal related story I'm going to see this week I'm trying to think what we shared on the WhatsApp group I shared a picture

of a hotel in Macau oh yes that was very interesting I think it won some kind of competition, possibly photographed on National Geographic, but it's just basically slightly run down, kind of built up kind of terrace in Macau. And then on the end, I don't know what's the grading,

it just makes it look like something out of a video game or I don't know, something out of Judge Dredd or something. This massive skyscraper kind of casino thing. And it's actually quite an otherworldly looking sort of casino building. It's something else. It really is. What's the deal with Macau? Is it like a dependency of China?

Yeah, it's very political. Ask them. They're very much... Macau's where everyone goes to gamble. Yeah, it's the gambling center of the universe. I know that. But do the Chinese sort of turn a blind eye or whatever and say, well, that's okay.

That can all happen over there. We don't care. Yeah, the Chinese can go over there and gamble. I'm fairly certain you can't gamble officially in China. I might be wrong on that one. Right. Used to be a Portuguese settlement, didn't it? Yeah.

They still speak Portuguese there sometimes, apparently. I was very surprised to read that. There we go. It's amazing. Check it out if you can. It's beautiful. Pete, something that you might be interested in.

I started reading a book of the story of Jack Johnson, not the folks. The first heavyweight champion in the world. Obviously,

the first black man to occupy the heavyweight championship as well in around 1909, turn of the century, early 20th century it's called uh unforgivable blackness the rise and fall of jack johnson written by jeffrey ward if you have any

interest at all in not just prize fighting not just heavyweight boxing not just sport but um social economic conditions of the united states in that period of time. It is a remarkable, remarkable read. I mean, the stuff that Jack Johnson went through, while at the same time actually exhibiting quite a lot of appalling behavior himself, makes for a fascinating tale. I mean, the guy was probably the most famous man in the United States in the early 20th century. Of course, because of the racial divide and because of all the racism that existed in the US at that time,

he found it very hard to find white fighters to even fight him. Managed to get the heavyweight championship through one way or another and then had a massive famous fight with a guy called Jim Jeffries who had retired six years previous. He was a white guy and he was the heavyweight champion in the world, undisputed and then retired but for five or so years he wouldn't come out of retirement

and fight Jack Johnson now a lot of people said it's because he would he would be beaten but he would say that I'm not I'm not facing a black man

I'm not I'm not legitimizing the black race essentially and the story really the first half of the story is about jack johnson's upbringing his quest to actually fight jim jeffries and i won't give it away for

people they don't know the story but they do eventually have a fight and then the second half of the book is is when jack johnson goes from the absolute summit like the apex of his career and his fame and his wealth and essentially drops off a cliff down to to to back essentially back where he started. But it is an incredible story. I mean, like I say, if you have any interest at all in the history of the United States or the history of boxing, I would recommend it very, very highly. It's called Unforgivable Blackness, and it's by Geoffrey Ward.

And that's what's been floating my boat these last week or two. How did the purses work? Obviously, black people around the turn of the century probably didn't make any sort of cash for obvious reasons. But like, presumably,

if you're going up against someone who is white, they want to win a purse. They want to win a fight purse. So like, I presume the money would be the same.

So it'd be one of the few, the few situations where a black sportsman would have a, a similar pay, you know, a potential paying potential, effectively. So what you're dealing with, in some ways it works the same way it works now, but in many ways it's different because back in that time,

boxing was, you've got to remember in the US, as it is now to an extent, but as it was a lot more then, it's a lot to do with state law and what certain states want to do. You're talking about, not quite the Wild West, but they fought, this big fight that Jack Johnson had against Jim Jefferies

was fought in Reno in Nevada. Yeah. It was going to be originally fought in California, but it was moved. And so the state of Nevada sanctioned it because the state of California wouldn't.

By the way, this fight that they had was so big that one of the people on the shortlist to referee it was the president of the people on the shortlist to referee it was the President of the United States, William Taft, who was the current President of the United States.

The second choice for the referee was Arthur Conan Doyle, who obviously wrote Sherlock Holmes, right? In the end, they couldn't find a referee they were happy enough that wouldn't be biased because at that point, it's only just after the bare knuckle era maybe i don't know 10 years or so after the bare knuckle era so there was a lot of um organization going on behind the scenes where someone there would take a dive there someone over there would take a dive he would agree to let that guy win that fight there so he could go

on and fight someone else and people were being paid off left right and center so to answer your question quickly um it was done on an individual basis. So when they wanted to put this Jack Johnson-Jim Jefferies fight together, and Jim Jefferies was on, essentially, as awful as it sounds in 2018, Jim Jefferies, really, one of the main reasons he came out of retirement to fight

is because he was being held up as this defender of the white race. Right. Because a lot of people in the US at that point couldn't abide the idea that a black man was heavyweight champion of the world. So he felt the pressure of the white race

on his shoulders to do it. So he came out of retirement. And he got put on his ass. In the end, the referee was the promoter. So Tex Rickard, who promoted the fight, this great entrepreneur and responsible for lots of different things, a real hard-living, hard-earning guy,

he ended up refereeing the fight himself because he couldn't find anyone and he'd never been in the boxing ring before and they built a purpose built stadium

in Reno which held 20-30,000 people people descended so much on Reno from all over the place that they ran out of food it's crazy it's a crazy story

yeah so it was negotiated and I think what they would do then Pete is it would be stuff like whereas now it's like purse is a split

and you get different splits and you negotiate through your management and stuff Jack Johnson wasn't a guy who really listened to his manager very often

but I think I'm right in saying what they did for that particular fight was they said the purse that's been put up is this amount of money the winner gets 75% and the loser gets 25%

but of course back in those days particularly Jack Johnson he's side betting all over the place on himself with different bookmakers and gambling companies to say, look, I want $10,000 on myself to make, to boost his earnings essentially.

And then fighters would do that all the time then, but of course if it went wrong they would be bankrupt essentially. So Jack Johnson went on this amazing rollercoaster of being one of the wealthiest men in the United States, certainly the wealthiest sportsman ever down to essentially

destitute living back with his mother in Galveston, Texas so it's an amazing story that does sound good I wasn't planning on talking about it for that long so sorry about that

no I think that's fascinating and I think that's our book of the week yes book of the Thursday by Geoffrey Ward Unforgivable Blackness do check it out

the guy who put me onto that was Danny Kelly who of course does some radio shows with Sometimes I see and he is a very good arbiter of a good read

and he recommended it to me and it didn't let me down lovely old job right after all that nonsense should we should we talk about emails yeah I think so

should we take a short break first yeah alright then so the first step is to find the right position for you put your hands down and lower your chest to the ground. Just do that and pretend that you're holding poop in.

And it should sound a lot like this. Chris Bandy in the background there eating his first crisp. Eating a... No, someone eating a kidney. That was Lil Xan eating his first cheetah, his extra hot cheetah. We were talking a little bit last week about things that should go in room 101 and room 102 because we are out of ideas.

We're bereft. We talked about gripes pretty much. Nicholas Tostidis, or Totsidis rather. Hi, boys. My gripe is when I go to someone's house and it's freezing inside, and when I tell them it's cold and to put the heater on, they tell me to put a jacket on instead.

No, I shouldn't have to wear a jacket or a blanket to stay warm inside. The point of a house is to shield us from the elements and keep us comfortable. And if it's because you're a tight ass, I'll leave some change for the bill. Nick, do you ever go?

That's not you without money for the bill. But like, no, put it, go into someone's house and go, put the fucking heating on no I don't think anyone's

ever done that you know like the other day when they had the room 101 stuff and people would basically one of the emails was basically a guy

doing six points about his own insecurity this is like I want to put in room 101 the fact that I'm not the centre of the universe and it's not fair come on

that's not acceptable it's like you not taking your shoes off when you go to someone's house despite being a fan of Japanese things. I do do that. I offer, but I think it's still country behaviour. But Pete, do you think that in Japan,

where famously you have to take your shoes off all the time? Well, that's their culture. I don't think taking your shoes off here was ever our culture. In my house, it's my culture. In my house, it's my culture. There was an advert on the Tube, speaking of wearing slippers indoors, there was an advert on the Tube saying, the slipper for people who don't

do slippers who has that policy who doesn't do slippers I don't do slippers what does that

mean yeah it's ridiculous I just stand on broken glass I don't do slippers do you know how

I feel about that I remember the name of the product but I'm not going to mention it on here because I disagree with the market

strategy what's a word that rhymes with it make up a word that rhymes with it and go and do it in this voice. It rhymes with the Harvey.

The Harvey? Yeah. Oh, I still don't know. Yeah, I don't either. What about this from James? He says, Ethan Chaps just wanted to throw him at my dad brought me back home

from work once. Oh, I like this theme. This is a popular theme. He used to work in the steelworks in Sheffield that made the metal for aeronautical companies, including NASA. Along with space

shuttle parts, they also used the metal to create pens that worked in space. NASA sent some space pens back to Sheffield as a gift and my dad brought one home to me. Needless to say, seven-year-old me was over the moon, excuse the pun, and I've still got this pen 25

plus years later. Keep up the good work. So a space biro from NASA? Don't get any better than that, does it? I hate to burst his bubble, his moon bubble, but, I mean, you can buy space pens everywhere. They weren't made by NASA. They were just used by NASA, weren't they?

Some guy just made it up. The famous, I don't know if it's true, but the famous sort of, I suppose, potentially apocryphal tale is that the US spent millions of pounds trying to develop a pen that worked in space because there was no gravity. And all the time, the Russians were using their pencils.

Yeah, I don't know if it's true, but there we go. So that's from James. It's still pretty good that your dad's bringing your home stuff from NASA. Oh, massively, yeah. Hugely. What about this from Sam Baltimore? And he says, hello, massively, yeah. Yeah. Hugely. And what about this from Sam Baltimore? And he says,

hello, boys, love the show. I just got done watching Late Night with Seth Meyers, and there was a story about an 80-year-old Japanese club DJ in Shinjuku. She cooks from 4 p.m. in her restaurant, and she starts her DJ set between 1.30 and 2.30 a.m., and raps about 4 a.m., as in wraps it up, not raps.

Then bikes home. With Pete keeping about the same schedule and loving weird stuff, wanted to know if he ever rocked along with DJ Sumi Rock when he's been in Japan. No, I think I saw that video though. It was on Vice as well, I think. Probably, yeah.

I think Vice picked it up. Yeah, people do strange things out there. I like the idea of... I just always think with, remember those, there's that couple that do like super clubs. They're about like 80 or something and they both just go to like pounding dance clubs. You would sometimes see that when you were a kid.

And it'd be quite depressing in a way. I mean that as a sort of arrogant, sort of teenage 20-odd something, you know, because you'd say, what's an old person doing here? But of course, if people,

that's what they want to do that's what they should do no but they go as a couple and they go to certain clubs and they always get served a little cup of tea and they just have a cup of tea

while they're pumping I mean unless you're drunk or off your head I mean dance pumping dance super clubs are not a place to be really dreadful places no

and the last thing I would want at like 11 at night is a cup of tea because the caffeine keep me up yeah I'll have a peppermint

peppermint always makes me have a bad stomach Pete famously caffeine free famously I'm not having a normal cup of tea at that time of night

thank you very much you can get an L-Graze decaffeinated true actually might well be decaffeinated I've got loads of good emails here Pete

but I want you to get another one bash another one out you don't want me to get stuck in. Bash another one. Bash another one out. Oh, you don't want me to get stuck in. Okay, fine. What about this one, Pete? Peter from... Billy.

I was going to say Franklin. I was going to come up with a name there. Franklin. Billy. Guys, the batteries in my TV remote are golden power. Solid. We've seen them before, but solid contribution. Solid choice. I enjoyed listening to the stuff in my TV remote are golden power solid we've seen them before but solid contribution

solid choice I enjoyed listening to the stuff in recent weeks about all the weird and wonderful things that dads do for us all as a kid

what do dads do it often seems fine at the time but when you look back it's really a bit odd I'd like to give a mention to all the great things that mums do too

to keep you safe growing up I once asked my mum how McDonald's could afford to give a free toy away in Happy Meals, as they only cost £1.99. She told me that McDonald's would go around the streets in a van, pick up children who were naughty and out alone, and take them back to the factory to make them build toys.

For many years after that, I was petrified to go out to the streets alone, so I guess her work to stop me going out as a kid was done. On a less sinister note, she also used to tell me that blue Smarties had dangerous substances in them and that only adults were allowed to eat them. I therefore always had to give her some of my Smarties, no matter what. I can't be the only person whose mum made up stories like this, and surely there must be other great stories out there. And yes, this is the same woman who had that cup of coffee several years ago with Mrs Litvinenko.

Remember Billy's story about his mum who would talk to everyone and she ended up having a coffee with the wife of, sadly, now departed

Alexander Litvinenko who was poisoned in a Yo Sushi, was it? I believe it might have been a... Certainly a popular chain of eateries.

Was it Yo Sushi? It was something like that. Okay, well, there we go. we all know what happened so yeah if you've got a story about how your mum's told you lies to keep you safe ostensibly but also probably given you some quite bad psychological

damage hello at lukeandpeatshow.com I mean on the McDonald's toy thing if you were a Chinese mum telling that story to a child that may very well be the case that you would be captured and put in a sweatshop to build a McDonald's toy

because that's literally how they're fucking made. My wife was a McDonald's. McDonald's toy. Happy meal. Yes, we talked about this. She was made into a... Cabbage patch doll.

Cabbage patch doll. Wonderful. It's such a wonderful... Did you send me a picture once? Yeah, her and her sister were both models, had one model on them and they occasionally messaged each other

on having searched on eBay about whose one's worth the most. They're both worth about three quid. I'm going to buy them. You should. I'm going to buy them. I'll find out the details of what they're called and I'll get them to you, mate. Lovely.

Yeah, and it's that classic kind of dad lie where it's like the ice cream man only plays that tune because they've run out of ice cream. Yes. To avoid buying ice cream. Yes. To avoid buying ice cream. Yeah, my parents used to tell me that. Yeah. My mum used to tell me loads of stuff.

I can't remember. I remember my grandad telling me that he said once that, you know, I think I was talking to him about science, my science class at school and how we'd learn about the solar system. And I said to my grandad, oh, you know, did you know that the sun is, you know, however big it is? I can't remember. And he said, it's not actually, it's not actually that big.

I said, what do you mean? He said, it's not. I said, well, how'd you, how'd you know?

Oh, that's true, it wasn't the sun, it was the moon. I said, the moon is like, certainly not, so he said,

it's not that big. I said, how'd you know? And he said, well, look, come outside and look, and it was night time.

And he said, there's the moon there, look. And he put his thumb in front of it. So there you go. Smaller than my thumb. And as a kid, I hadn't fully grasped perception then. I was only about 22.

Or even just perspective. Perspective, I meant. Yeah. And so that probably poisoned my mind in some small way. So parents do do it. In my family, it wasn't the lies they told me. It's the things they sort of leave out. You know, like find out you've got a half-brother at 16.

Let's move on. Next email comes from Stephen Boyd. Isn't it Philip Larkin? He had the poem, They Fuck You Up, Your Mum and Dad. That's quite famous, isn't it? Yeah. Stephen Boyd. Hello, all.

Just thought I'd drop you an email in response to the episode 100 countdown. Particularly the top story, the Christmas story. This tale of blue language is eerily similar to an incident I was regrettably involved in back in my youth in the year 2005. To picture the scene, me and my six friends had organised a summer trip around Europe. We had two cars and planned on visiting as many countries as we could. Sounds good, but turns out to be quite shit, as European motorways pre-data roaming was dull. Or were dull.

Anyway, the incident in question happened on the very first day. We'd set off in two cars at the crack of dawn from sunny Huddersfield. We were bound for Ipswich to get an overnight ferry to Cuxhaven in Germany. It was so bloody hot, so we all drew straws over which car to travel in. Luckily, I got the Land Rover, which had aircon. Turned out the driver was a typical

Yorkshire tight arse that's rude and just drove with the windows open instead so all I got was windswept hair for four hours and I couldn't hear fuck all

it was a long journey but we finally arrived all a bit tired desperate for a drink and an opportunity to stretch the legs cue my arsehole mate to make a sarky comment

at the security check the recent London bombings had put the country on edge and security were checking everything my mate decided to respond with a question of, have you been to London recently? With, yeah, I left my backpack on the bus. Security promptly stripped the car down to its nuts and bolts

and then let us and our merry way with minutes to spare. To say we were fucked off was an understatement. Chippy friends. Yeah, you shouldn't do that. Finally, we made it into the queue. It's the same people who just get too fucked up so they can't get in bars because the bouncer goes, same people who just get too fucked up so they can't get in bars

because the bouncer will go well your mate's too drunk it's like well you've ruined the night then we were meeting our friends in here you dick

and having been out on a night out with you many a times Don so can I just say that is a bit rich that's not me I can take my

alcohol alright finally we made it into the queue for the ferry whilst queuing in the burning hot summer sun a children's entertainer was

welcoming folk on board he waved we waved. It was all very cordial and nice at this point. But bear in mind, we were all hot, tired, stressed and in desperate need of a beer. We parked up, unloaded the hastily repacked car and headed for check-in. All here and here is where the

incident in question occurred. Whilst carrying all the bags to the packed reception area, the clown approached. At this point, he decided to squirt me in the face with a flower on his costume. Love that. Bad move. I dropped my bags and shouted, you fucking cunt! Just at the end of his tether. Right in his face. As the words left my

mouth, I realised that the terrible mistake I had made. People gasped, my friends laughed, the clown looked as if he was going to faint, and I'm pretty sure a child started to cry. Fast forward a few hours, a few beers were drunk and piss merrily taken. We were happily sat watching some diet evening entertainment.

The clown approached from behind, he said hello and then I turned around. To be fair, he looked like he was about to apologise when he saw me, but he bricked it and ran off. Serves him right, the fucking cunt. Anyway, I'm now a primary school teacher and come down very hard on foul language

in my classroom. Steve, in bed for sure. Fantastic. Well done, Steve. Yeah. Well done, Steve. Talking of sort of

strange behaviour overseas, we should, we should, that's a brilliant story. Clowning! We should finish with this one from Ben. He says,

Hi guys, hope all is well. Fairly new to the show but I'm going to smash you through the back catalogue. Before I get onto my main tale. that's a brilliant story clown it in we should finish with this one from Ben he says hi guys hope all is well fairly new to the show but I'm going to smash you through the back catalogue before I get onto my main tale I'll smash you your back catalogue

you prick rude here's some quick stats for you my batteries are GP Ultras classic I'm a Pompey fan not classic

I grew up in Titchfield a small village Luke should know I do know it very well it's just down the road from Stummings and Study Centre. Full of gypsies.

Anyway, I used to play in a punk band. They're called members of the travelling community nowadays. Sorry. I used to play in a punk ska band called Three Day Bender, and it's good to hear about Pete's experiences

in the scene back in the day. We probably played with a lot of the same bands, but it's a shame we never got to play with the legendary one-eyed Willie. Well, we only did six gigs,

so I mean, you'd be lucky or unlucky, really. Where's the furthest away from Leicester you travelled? Ooh, good point. I think we should play in Leicester. Okay, so listen, Ben, if you played in Leicester, you might have done. What years? 2002.

Okay. Also, oh, sorry, anyway, onto the main reason for my email. I'm harking back to quite early on in your run when Luke told the Tad

of getting locked out of his house. I have a story that hopefully you will find worthy of a mention. Turn the clock back to 2006.

During my third year at uni, I started dating a girl. Well done, Ben. I wasn't aware when I first met her that she was in fact the daughter

of a prominent cabinet MP. Don't get excited. The MP is never mentioned. After a few months of dating, we agreed the time was right to go on holiday together. Brackets, it wasn't. Being at uni and money being tight, we headed to Italy with the girlfriend's parents. Although going on holiday with your girlfriend's parents is never ideal for a romantic getaway,

I couldn't turn down the opportunity to holiday with a member of parliament and mooch off the taxpayer's dollar. That's the spirit. After that week in Italy, which was very nice apart from the scorpions in our room. He doesn't extrapolate that. The girlfriend and I headed to Croatia for a few days on our own. While there, we visited a small island off the coast of Dubrovnik for a day trip.

Anyway, it was a very small island. Which one was it? Far. It doesn't say. And we potted about for a bit before sitting down to a picnic we'd prepared bracket she'd prepared the weather was sunny and very hot so by this point i was wearing only my swim shorts and flip-flops having drunk a few beverages with lunch it was time for a wee we packed up the picnic and headed over to the only toilets on the island this was a purpose built toilet block in the middle of a main green slash picnic area with my girlfriend waiting outside i ventured in to my surprise there were only cubicles and no urinals i went into the first

cubicle and closed the door even weirder was there was a urinal in the cubicle but no toilet anyway i proceeded to take my much needed piss after relieving myself i turned around to exit the cubicle upon where i found there was no handle on the inside of the door. The door and handle was not like a normal cubicle door. It was like a standard internal door you'd find in a house, i.e. there's no gap anywhere. No handle equals no ability to open the door. That mother was locked shut. There was

no gap to slide under and no gap above to climb over. A mild panic started to set in. Here I was, trapped in a cubicle in only shorts and flip-flops with no phone on an island in croatia hmm i'm not sure why but i didn't bang on the door to alert anyone else in the block i've never been one to draw attention to myself instead i'm the same that's how we will die instead he surveyed he says i've surveyed my temporary prison to hopefully find an escape route turning back around i noticed a small window up high above the urinal thankfully there was no glass only a metal mesh surrounded by a worn wooden frame i proceeded to

punch out the mesh as this window was quite high i had to launch myself up using the urinal as a makeshift step i got myself up and perched on the windowsill with my hands akin to pulling yourself out of a swimming pool i was precariously perched to get myself through the window i used my foot to give myself one final push off the urinal as i pushed down on the urinal it came clean off the wall and smashed all over the floor oh no with no second chances on the cards i managed to squeeze through the small window frame headfirst and make the six foot drop onto the ground outside picking up cuts scrapes and dirt from the wooden windowsill as i got up and brushed myself down i was met by the stares of many

families and couples who were in mid-picnic. I waltzed around to the entrance to find my girlfriend and continued the day. I then had to share a boat ride back to the mainland with many who saw what happened. We enjoyed the rest of the holiday and broke up a few months later. It's a classic tale. What a classic tale. I like his little kind of

impromptu escape room adventure. What would you do in that situation, Donny? I'd eat the little yellow cubes you see in the urinal for sustenance. And wait for death to comfort you. Wait for death's sweet embrace. Yeah, I'm done. My goose is cooked. Fuck it.

I always knew this is how I'd die. Yeah. I like the idea of you not only being found dead in the toilet cubicle, but just foaming at the mouth with fragrant, pine-fresh aroma. Yeah, exactly. You know, I'd be the best-smelling stiff in the mortuary. Speaking of... It's a bit macabre, but anyway.

Speaking of stiffs, have you seen the Netflix series The Staircase? No. Have you seen Making a Murderer? Yes. That's coming back, season two next month. That's coming back, season two. Yeah, Staircase.

When I see that... Who's the main guy who got... I can't season two next month. That's coming back season two. Yeah, Staircase. When I see that, who's the main guy who got a, I can't remember the family now. The kid is Brendan Dassey. Yeah, he was a Dassey. And the main guy was Stephen someone? Was he not a Dassey as well?

He was his uncle, wasn't he? Yeah. Yeah. But he, I just can't, when I see his face, I just think, he doesn't wear pants.

What does that mean exactly? Well, remember like, he was accused of a rape or a sexual assault before this whole thing happened. And one of the revelations was it couldn't have been him because he doesn't wear pants. He just wears trousers, which I think everyone was like,

oh, that's horrible. Good detail to remember. That's the worst thing. So the staircase is, I would say, similar in theme, but very, very good and worth watching. Is it true crime? True crime. True crime.

15 years in the making, baby. How do these people do that? I mean, I work in the creative industry and I'm not dedicating 15 years of my life to anything. You work in an industry. Sometimes. Yeah, I was listening to a bit of Serial That's Back. I'm not into it.

Episode two is better than the first one I think it might heat up I think it's you hear that kind of racist fucking judge being a dick I don't want to be a cynic here

I mean I will but they spent it's like this build as like oh a year in the so and so courtroom to me

they've blatantly looked for another Adnan Syed case not been able to find one and been like right we're going to just do a year in the courtroom

because everything's boring series 2 was very dull yeah exactly that's why they released looked for another Adnan Syed case not been able to find one and been like right we're going to do a year in the courtroom because everything's boring. Series 2 was very dull. Yeah exactly yeah that's why they released that. I enjoyed S-Town for what it was

worth. Yeah. Because S-Town was being run in the background wasn't it while Serial Season 1 was running in case Serial Season 1 fell

through they'd be going to go back to S-Town. S-Town yeah. They then released it later as S-Town. So actually this is really technically series 4

of Serial why didn't they just release Serial because maybe they'd screwed the pooch with the Bob Bergdahl thing why don't they make

good podcasts like us well I mean I reckon it's equivalent work isn't it really similar doing the Luke and Pete show soliciting

asking for emails just read them out have they done 104 of these no they haven't no they have not no exactly and listen

our 104th effort is finished we're over press your damn button I was going to do a serial style exit let's do that production is

Ira Glass Ira Glass has got his finger in everything yeah yeah he's just so hands on that guy and also we've got to end each sentence

by talking like this and that was the end of the episode so Vocal Thrive This is a call from the Leicester Correctional Facility. Hello, I'm Pete! I thought it meant...