The Luke and Pete Show - Episode 107: Holloway Road shops I admire

Episode Date: October 15, 2018

Could Pete Donaldson or Luke Moore ever run an Ironman Triathlon? I think we all know the answer to that already but let's explore the prospect anyway. During this episode we also run the rule over Pete's finest parody songs (and you'll be forgiven for not knowing they exist), Jim Bowen's contribution to TV, magicians, Tintagel Castle (again), and swords. Yes, swords.To buy us a sword: [e-mail]***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

oh we're a two-man band with the best lead guitarist in the land that's uh from a national lottery advert from the early noughties radio advert hello how are you doing? I'm very well thanks I just didn't want to stop you in full flow It was like watching an albatross take off Isn't it weird? Glorious Isn't it weird? A wonder of the natural world

What pops into your head Yeah Isn't it strange? It is weird what pops into your head Welcome to episode 107 of the Luke and Pete show Yeah baby I'm Luke Moore That man

That spectacularly trousered man there Is Pete Donaldson 107 of the Luke and Pete show. Yeah, baby. I'm Luke Moore. That man, that spectacularly trousered man there is Pete Donaldson. It's like if you go to a posh stately home, this is the sort of wallpaper you'd get.

I'm thinking the Farrow and Balder wallpaper. I'll tell you what, Osborne and Little, George Osborne's family, they made their money making wallpaper. Did they?

Posh wallpaper. Osborne and Little, yeah. Could have been Osborne and Little pair of trousers. Osborne. Oh, welcome back to the Luke and Pete show. It's episode... I didn't really pay attention.

I just said that. 107. All right, 107. Good, yeah. And I was saying that wasn't paying attention. So what have you learned? I had National Lottery radio adverts in my head. That's what was happening here.

Hardesty Cycles, the home of the mountain bike. There we go. Peter's Cathedral Bakersers the name says it all it doesn't say it all because if it's a Cathedral Bakers you're sort of thinking are you baking in a cathedral it doesn't tell us anything about it really

no I mean historically maybe it started servicing the people who worked in a cathedral I don't really know you famously did a good radio which was Holloway Road Shops I Admire, to the sound of We Didn't Start the Fire. Yeah, maybe we should stick that in at some point.

Have you still got that? Probably somewhere, yeah. It's brilliant. Holloway Road Shops I Admire. But then instead of saying... The shelves that we can all aspire. And you listed all the Holloway Road Shops in the Billy Joel style. But I said aspire.

Pizza Hut, Pizza Hut, Pizza Hut at the end. Global Internet. Global Internet. That's right, yeah. I wonder if all those shops are there. That would be interesting. No, Michael's High Class Fish Bar went. That's a very pleasing name

for a song, isn't it? Michael's High Class Fish Bar. It really rolls off the tongue. Yeah, I was quite proud of that. That kind of stuck around for ages. But ultimately, sort of saying Holloway

Holloway Road Chops I admire facilities that we all aspire it doesn't really aspire to it kind of works a little bit

it rhymes with admire admire certainly which fundamentally half the struggle really which fundamentally had to rhyme with fire for it to be identified

as a rip off of the original song not something you adhered to when you ripped off Girls on Film with Dads with Swords. Dads with Swords, yeah. Which still worked very well, in my opinion.

I think, having done about 12 years worth of work with you, so I wouldn't be able to objectively discuss the stuff we've done together, but I think Dads with Swords and Holloway Roadshops We Admire are probably your two finest pieces of work. Dads With Swords ended up as a sword podcast theme. It was a men of advancing it. A sword podcast?

Yeah, like, you know, just blokes who are into fucking swords and stuff. I think the co-host, I think his wife, got in touch and said, hi, I found your Dadazzle Swords video. Could I, could we use your Dazzle Swords song as a sword podcast theme? But you don't own the song.

You should rip all the songs out. It's up to them, it's up to them. They can deal with the illegal vagaries. Give me a free sword. Give me a free sword. Give me one of your best swords.

Give me your worst sword. Still better than all my swords. Yeah, have a sword. I do have a sword and it's plastic. When I was in... Bought it in Sweden.

Mine's bloody massive. It's not made of plastic. When I was in... Where was I? I stayed in Boss Castle in Cornwall, beautiful part of the world, for a weekend

a couple of years ago. And it's quite near Tintagel. Tintagel is an amazing castle. You're making all of this up. No, Tintagel's an amazing castle. Tintagel. Oh, God, we're Tintagel. Honestly, you should Google it. It's an amazing castle. You're making all of this up. No, Tintagel is an amazing castle. Tintagel. Oh, God, Tintagel. Honestly, you should Google it.

It's an amazing castle. And it's known to do with Arthurian legend as being the place where King Arthur, the legendary King Arthur, was conceived. Right. Obviously, it's all bollocks, but it's a legend. And they dine out on it. Now, it's hard to explain if you're not familiar with it,

but the castle itself is almost a Game of Thrones type castle where it's off the mainland on a little rocky outcrop with a bridge connecting it. And it's dilapidated now, and you can still see the ruins and stuff, and that's why you go there. Anyway, in Tintagel itself, the village, they've obviously got a bit of a lot of micro-economy

around that type of stuff. So they've got these shops that sell, you know the sort of shop you'd get in a place like that where it'll sell things like bongs and tie-dyed scarves? Yes. That type of stuff, right? But they also have these medieval swords and behind these glass cabinets,

and they're quite expensive. They'd be north of like 100 quid. I reckon they sell like two of those, yeah. Oh, well, this is the thing, and I thought, well, they're quite expensive they'd be north of like a hundred quid I reckon they sell like two of those oh well this is the thing and I thought well they must never

sell anything like this but I went into one I was in there just having a potter around and there was a guy in there with a long black leather you know what I'm talking about oh yeah

long black leather coat Matrix boys but he was a bit older though long hair Matrix lad yeah Matrix man and Nicholas Cage turned down the role

of Neo in Matrix, didn't he? Did he? Yeah, I think so. He will do that. He's got that in him. He was going to be Superman at one point. I would have watched the shit out of that. There was a press shot of that one.

They were in the uniform and everything. Didn't he still get paid for that? I don't know. He needs money. If you go to New Orleans, he's bought up most of New Orleans' spookiest buildings, and that's why he's skinned. Yeah, and then it was bankrupt, yeah. I mean,

that's such a Nicolas Cajun to do. But anyway, going back to this shop in Tintagel selling swords, there's a bloke in there with a shop assistant who is just a Saturday boy, right?

So he doesn't know anything about swords, right? Just works in there. It's not a sword specialist shop and he's asking to look at all the different swords and he's getting

the sort of weight of them like he's like Jon Snow or something and he's going, yeah, them, like he's like Jon Snow or something. And he's going, yeah, I like that one. Yeah, I like that one. And bear in mind, they're blunted anyway, right? Yeah. And he's pondering massively what sword he's going to buy.

And I just remember standing there thinking, one, this is cool. And two, what are you going to use that sword for? You're going to put it on the wall, or you're going to commit a horrific crime, right? If you're going to commit a horrific crime right if you're going to commit a horrific crime it's not the perfect crime is it

because everyone sees you in here so you don't need to worry about it just get the one you like the look of the most I like to think

that people running around with a sword the sort of people who run around with swords is kind of I think they realise they're going to be

taken out pretty quickly because swords nowadays are quite unwieldy compared to a dagger there was a man last night I was walking up the street behind him taken out pretty quickly. So swords nowadays are quite unwieldy compared to a dagger. There was a man last night, I was walking

up the street behind him. Soho at, you know, half twelve in the morning is, there's always like

crazy people just doing crazy stuff and the sex trade and the, there was a man in front of me and he was like fucking weaving around

fucking angry and it was only after about walking behind him for about five minutes, I saw he had a broken bottle in his hand. And I was like, oh, that's interesting. Might give him a wider berth. Could have been the same guy. Went upstairs and he just started flipping out in Old Compton Street.

What happened? He kicked a bin over and then the police came around, tried to find him. And he came around and started giving the bouncer of Village, which is a bar on the end of my street, a bit of aggro with a broken bottle in his hand. And then the police turned up and by which he'd already disappeared. But then he came back again and back again and back again. The police finally got all of him. And that's mine.

That's my life. This is what? That's my life. That's what? That's my life. That's my impression of Neil Hamburger. Have you seen Neil Hamburger before? Neil Hamburger.

He's like a kind of washed up 70s kind of stand up sort of joke character. He does a lot of work with Tim Hyde. Oh, is he like Brian Butterfield?

A little bit, yeah. And he's like, and his jokes are just fucking horrible. Right. And he always has two glasses of brandy that he just spills down himself, and he's sweaty.

That sounds good. He sounds a bit like Doug Stanhope. Yeah, a little bit of that, but not quite as good. The greatest comedy tagline ever, I'm Doug Stanhope, and that's why I drink. That broken bottle story

do you know what I was thinking I was I was tapping away get me Sarah Koenig's number because this is Serial Season 3 that's where it should have happened yeah

not all not all we thought we'd spend a year in a normal courtroom for Serial Season 3 because we definitely weren't

looking for another Adnan Syed and if we were how come we weren't? I'll be enjoying it. I haven't heard it. Well don't criticise it then. I will if I want.

Alright. I just remembered I talked about Tintagio and Cornwall in a very early episode of the Luke and Pete show. You fucking cunt. And I talked about

the Museum of Witchcraft and Magic and at the time you feigned interest so I'm disappointed you haven't remembered that. Well I didn't know about the yeah magic Witchcraft and Magic, and at the time, you feigned interest, so I'm disappointed you haven't remembered that. Well, I didn't know about the, yeah, magic and witches. Can't be arsed.

Not your thing? Not my wheelhouse. Look at your trousers. Right, let's take a break. We'll be back with some emails. Yeah. Keen-eared listeners to the Radio Stakhanov network will realise that I've had a cough for two months. I haven't noticed that, so I doubt they will.

Worrying. Have you seen that? Not long for this world. There's an NHS advert about that. What? Something that goes on for longer than a certain amount of time. You should go to the doctor. Ah, fuck it.

Might be them cancers, that's why. Might be them cancers. I was going to say something to you before the break, and I can't remember what it is. Oh, yeah. Someone said that technology to the generation before is indistinguishable from magic. So you know what I mean?

So if you take it back a generation or a lifetime, whatever the quote is, people wouldn't be able to distinguish it between magic and technology. So as someone who's hugely interested in technology, why do you slate magicians? Well, you've kind of set up a bit of a straw man argument there. Here's a thing a man has said or a woman has said. Why don't you agree with that?

Yeah. When I had no opinion on it in the first place. I'm just saying, I can see you head to toe in black. Because you would make a good incel, I think. Why would I make a good... Yeah, well, I live like an incel. You started off to say what, and then you answered your own question. I own an iron, for one.

I live like an incel. Did you just say that? I live like an incel. In what way? Well, I'm like an incel. Did you just say that? I live like an incel. In what way? Well, I'm like a little boy who plays video games, who owns a gaming chair, and a tapper on the internet. Go on 4chan, see what they're up to.

Could you perhaps do... I could be like a... Do you contribute to 4chan or just read it? No, not really. I just think it's important to keep your eyes across stuff like that. Because at the end of the day, it's them lot who got Trump in. That's very much the Republican base. Could you perhaps do a joke, what's it called, a parody song

to Aerosmith's Living on the Edge, Living Like an Incel? Living Like an Incel. Splinter Incel. I could sort of live among them and bring them down from the inside. The fact that you're making video game jokes about being an incel might confirm that you do indeed live like an incel.

People know about Sam Fisher. It was a Tom Clancy vehicle, I believe. It was, yeah. You love a bit of TC. I don't think I've ever... was a Tom Clancy vehicle I believe it was yeah you love a bit of TC I don't think I've ever read any what was Tom Clancy done I don't know

did he do Patriot games God knows I've not read any of his stuff I don't think should we turn to some emails yeah before you you know that place

Tintagel what the fuck are you talking about yeah which you don't you don't even admit exists the place that the place that King Arthur was conceived.

Why don't they sell promotional tintaget condoms? If you don't want to make your own King Arthur, put this condom on. It's prophylactic. Surely you do want to make your own King Arthur. He probably had some dreadful things in his life. He didn't exist, Pete. Well, in the myth, he probably had some dreadful things.

He was a very noble king. That's the whole point of the legend, isn't it? He's a good lad. A proper good lad. Proper fucking mensch. It was those shits around the round table that bugged him off. Remember, didn't we go to Winchester to see the round table? Or something that was supposed to be the round table.

So the original round table is in Winchester Cathedral, I think. Yeah, we saw it on the wall, didn't we? I kept on getting Worcester and Winchester confused. That's right. You were sending people to Worcester and Winchester confused. That's right. You were sending people to Worcester for a while. That round table on the wall in that cathedral,

or I think it's a cathedral, someone's just knocked that up. I mean, there's very little else in that room, isn't there? It's kind of like, oh, look at that table. You call this a cathedral?

It's just a room, guys. Come on, get it together. It looked like someone's knocked it up. It's in the Great Hall, apparently. We went to look at it, but I mean, together it looked like someone's knocked it up it's in it's in the great hall apparently okay we went to we went to look at it yeah um but i mean the table was apparently apparently it dates from like the 12th century um but i you know i don't think anyone's necessarily um

yeah no it's also i mean apparently it was it was made in like the 16th century or something but if you're gonna mount if you're gonna mount a on a wall, it ceases to look like a table. It just looks like a big dartboard after that. It does look like a dartboard. Why would you do that? Stupid. To me, I will say, when I walked in there and saw it up on the wall,

the first thing I thought was, in one, a garden furniture set. Dung! That's black. Dung! In four, a tea's made. Very relaxing television. I don't mind it. that's black in for a tease mate very relaxing

television I don't mind it and do you know one thing I would say about Bullseye and I'm actually pleased you're reminding me of this

is if you watch Bullseye back now for those listening overseas Bullseye was the 70s and 80s might have gone into the

squeaked into the 90s darts based quiz show and people who are of our age and older was the 70s and 80s, might have gone into the, squeaked into the 90s, darts-based quiz show. And people who are of our age and older, maybe even a bit younger, will definitely know what it is. And it was presented by a guy

called Jim Bowen, who, I think he sadly passed away now. It was quite recently though, wasn't it? I think it was. And he appeared in Phoenix Knights as well. And he seemed like a pretty good egg.

Anyway. He came on the X-Men Breakfast Show and used the word gypsy. So yeah, cut the line. Sorry Jim, you've got to go. Anyway. He came on the X-Men Breakfast Show and used the word gypsy, so we had to cut the line. Sorry, Jim. You've got to go. Bye.

Sorry about that, everyone. He's from the old school. He is from the old school. But he seems, to me anyway, at least, as a nice guy. And someone pointed out on the internet, I forget who it was now, but you can probably Google it,

saying Jim Bowen was almost the type of presenter that you don't see these days so these TV presenters these days they're very slick they're very sort of blah blah blah Bowen would get people

because Bullseye featured like ordinary people paired up with darts players to win prizes and sometimes and the guy who shared this

shared a clip of Jim Bowen speaking to these two ordinary people from I don't know Wigan or whatever and it was in the time when poverty was you know it was the 80s, right?

So it was difficult. Manufacturing was going down the pan. Poverty was everywhere. And he spent like a decent amount of time talking to them. Because normally he would just say, here's Bob and Joe from Wigan. He would say, Bob, how's work? How's it going up there? How are you guys getting on?

And almost really taking the time to understand that people in normal jobs, in normal situations around the country were going through a really difficult time. And honestly, it shows, he's a funny guy and obviously he can be sent up

as a bit of a joke character, but it showed real empathy and someone was just pointing out that that sort of stuff just doesn't exist anymore because the people who do TV shows now aren't, they haven't come up through the working men's clubs they aren't like normal people are

they i mean jake humphrey's not a normal person is he no but yeah but you've got to be you've got to be better at the end of the day it's still showbiz isn't it i mean i watched jim boyne uh interview a woman from birmingham who was uh mixed race she's got and it was basically the old man conversation equivalent of like, where are you really from? Okay. Where are you from? You've got beautiful eyes.

But what year? What year is this? I mean, it'd be like the 80s, wouldn't it? Yeah, okay. Yeah. But where are you? You say you're from Birmingham, but come on now. We're looking at you.

You're not originally from Birmingham. Where are you really from? But what's your point here? I'm saying that in 2018, that doesn't look great. No, it doesn't. That doesn't look super smashing or great. Well, in 2018,

the Amuritzar massacre doesn't look great. Yeah, we can't, we can't, we can't, surely we can't continually judge. I'm not defending it. We can't judge people 35 years ago on today's standards,

can we? Yeah, just don't put it on challenge, though. When we used to do challenge, when I used to do the voice of a challenge. Don't put it on challenge. When I used to do

the voice of a challenge. I would argue that's exactly the TV challenge it should be on. He would, apparently, I can't remember

which phrases he used to use. I think Super Smashing Grit was his copyright and you couldn't use it. Oh, really? You couldn't use Super Smashing Grit. Something, what was the, Nothing in this game for two in a bed. You couldn't use that. Oh, really? You couldn't use Super Smashing Great. Something,

what was the, Nothing in this game for two in a bed? I think you couldn't use that. He's not catchphrasing that, is he? You couldn't use a load of stuff.

He's not copyrighted that, is he? I think Super Smashing Great might definitely be one of his and you can't use it. He's dead now. He's dead now.

So probably you can. The statute of limitations of Super Smashing Great. Pass it on to his son. We talked about Michael Buffer and Let's Get Ready to Rumble didn't we

Oh right okay 400 million dollars he's made out of that What Let's Get Ready to Rumble Yeah Magical What a man

What a man Let's Get Ready to Rumble Cause Rumble's like I don't think Rumble ever was kind of applied to a fight before

Like his Rumble's like Have you heard of the Rumble in the Jungle Yeah Biggest boxing match of all time Yeah but didn't that come from him saying, let's go to Rumble?

I don't know. I'm not sure. Was it not PJ and Duncan anyway? Let's move on. But, you know, Michael Buffer, he's this really slick, you know, broadcasting type. You know that type of slick broadcaster peak that you only get in America? Yes.

It's that kind of guy. Tits and teeth. Yeah, exactly. Absolutely right. Well summed up. And Costello and Bunce is one of the finest podcasts outside of the radio

sticking off Stable obviously Mike Costello and Steve Bunce yeah it's brilliant it's a masterclass in boxing

in broadcasting and obviously it's about boxing and they sometimes they will broadcast directly after a big fight so recently the Anthony Joshua one for example

and they'll just grab whoever they can. So they're grabbing like David Haye, people at ringside, trainers and boxers themselves sometimes. And they grabbed Michael Buffer on the most recent one who was doing the announcers.

And he's a boxing brain. He loves the sport. He knows lots about it. He's very interesting to listen to. But it became evident quite early on in the interview that he's drinking a beer, but he thinks that's bad for his image so every time like steve bunce who's a bit mischievous starts referencing the fact oh we've got him here and he's drinking a beer and you can hear

michael buffa go no no no no no no no no no no no this is a club soda yeah exactly exactly yeah old school glamour all right let's do let's get some emails pete have you got an email ready yeah on the back of that why don't you read it then pal all right then i've opened johnny dunn's old school glamour right let's get some emails Pete have you got an email ready yeah on the back of that why don't you read it then pal alright then I've opened Johnny Dunn's that was a mistake

wasn't it never mind hello to Richard the island of Barra hello Dick island of Barra what

hello on episode 103 of the Luke and Pete show you were talking about the man who ran across the airport Dublin airport to get his flight

it reminded me of my last trip last year to the island of Barra, where the plane lands on the beach. And this landing can be impacted by tide times and weather conditions. Only nine people can get in the plane. It was amazing taking it out from Glasgow Airport with all these jumbo jets and us being such a small plane. It was an incredible experience. And one I will not forget.

I can imagine it would be much easier to run and try and stop this plane. I've included three fours. Look, so this is Richard Cook from the West Niles of Scotland. Look at how rudimentary. Oh, mate, it looks absolutely amazing. Isn't that incredible? It looks unbelievable. A tiny little plane with its rotors.

Again, it can only fit nine people in. And the Barra Airport baggage reclaim is just like a bush shelter. That's what the baggage reclaim is like on the Cook Islands beautiful but obviously it's a bit warmer there the reason I've

heard of Barra is obviously because I've been to the West Coast quite a bit I've never actually been to Barra but Barra do

this thing called the Barathon which is I think a half marathon around the island and the reason I think there might have been a blog

post about it a while back or something it genuinely looks like the most beautiful race you could ever do obviously it's a bit of a trek to get there

but if you can get there isn't there a town in Wales that has become like the hot spot for like Iron Man kind of runs

to the point where a massive percentage of the population get involved yeah I've read about that yeah something like 30% of people

have run an Ironman which is mental yeah that's crazy with Ironman of course you have to swim and cycle as well yeah

and it's kind of changed the entire kind of like tourist industry around that time so there's hope for there's hope for the slightly

more downhill areas of the UK well don't judge him mate it might be it might be a very nice place Hartlepool could be brilliantypill could be brilliant. Hartypill could be brilliant

and do a little Ironman. Swim across the Tees. How good would you be at this point at a triathlon if they gave you all the gear? I can't run. Yeah, I couldn't do any of it. I am joining Chris from Avon Japan,

the other podcast they do, or one of them, on a bit of a cycle from Kyoto to Japan, the other podcast they do, or one of them, on like a bit of a cycle from Kyoto to Osaka, I think. Do you know what an Ironman triathlon, because there's different

types of triathlons. There's like a normal triathlon, a half Ironman, an Ironman, there's lots of different types. Are you aware of what

an Ironman triathlon actually is? Do a bit of swimming, do a bit of cycling, do a bit of running, and then fucking talk about it the rest of the year.

Fucking yeah. How do you know someone's done an Iron their own, man? They tell you. They tell you, yeah. It's a 2.4 mile swim, so that is, I think it's 100 lengths of a pool. Right.

Yeah. I mean, is there a doggy paddling option? Because that's probably what I would have to do. I'd have to do a backstroke. It's the only stroke I can do to any sort of level. In fact, that's 200 lengths of a 25-meter pool, isn't it? Let's not get into the weeds on this one. 112-mile

bike ride. So that's like riding your bike. All in one day? You do it one after the other. Good God. Guess what run you have to do? Full marathon. So what's a full marathon? 10 miles? 26 fucking... 26.2 miles. I've never done a run in my life. I got signed up to the London marathon

obviously quite a an important marathon that everyone gets very excited about and you know people would kill to be on it wussed out

did you didn't you stop the training I bust my ankle to be honest I couldn't really you do get a lot of injuries

but they made me a custom morph suit you remember morph from Tony Hart you know before everybody started getting those stupid morph suits and going to the fucking cricket and being a dickhead. You had one, yeah.

I had one that was custom made to my body. And it was morph. You know the wackiness that you extol. At least you're professionally wacky, you know? It was a woman from the College of Fashion on Charing Cross Road. Doing it properly. She did it properly. I remember when I turned up.

So when we do live shows for the theatre show for The Ramble, we do videos and you are basically the old author of them. And I remember once turning up to the studio to record a podcast and you were in a full green screen suit from head to toe. Your face was covered, everything. One of my favourite photos of you and you told us what we had to do. And I thought to myself at that point, he's a bit of a wacky one,

this one, but he is at least professional with it. Yeah. He takes the wackiness seriously. I need to expense that green suit. So. 25 years ago. So your plan was to do a marathon in the morph suit.

Yeah. But you didn't even do any training. I didn't do any training. Well, I couldn't do it. Well, I couldn't do training because I busted my ankle.

I think I did a little mini run. How long? It's hard though, isn't it? It's all it it's all right yeah around the park so just to give you a quick a quick understanding of this so most ironman events apparently have a limited time of 17 hours to complete and they start at seven in the morning so the mandatory cutoff for the swim is 9 20 in the morning um and then after that the bike cut off time is 5.30pm so you've got

8 hours 10 minutes to do the bike ride by this point you're like that's a full day's work why do people sort of put themselves through this

and after that the mandatory cut off for the marathon is midnight so essentially you're expected to run from 7am to midnight and however quick

you can do it you can do it I mean it's absolutely ridiculous why do I have the opinion that I have that it's a bit kind of anybody who yaps on

about running it's like oh shut up it's the same with everything isn't it people are passionate about certain stuff you can say that about people who like to be vegan

which we have said and you've said this on this show yeah no I don't have a go at vegans do I people just like to show off about stuff don't they

yeah or something that you're into I guess people sort of get I mean I talk about Japan fucking constantly but I'm genuinely into it I? People just like to show off about stuff don't they? Yeah. Or something that you're into I guess. People sort of get excited. I mean I talk about Japan fucking constantly but I'm genuinely into it. I think there's more to Japan

than there is to running though I would sort of argue. It's just run over there and your lungs are going why? And your legs are going why? Swimming would be good

for your asthma by the way. You say that? It's not no. Why not? It's just it's just football. I do football every week. You don't get on though,

do you? You don't play. I do play. When you pay your subs, you pay. That is a deal breaker. Yeah, exactly. What about this email

from Jamie who says, hi guys, I'm just catching up on room 101, 102 and my suggestion is people who say pin number despite it standing

for personal identification number so it's not necessary to add the word number at the end. Yeah, have we not sort of spoken about this? It's like ATM, isn't it? ATM machine. Look for an ATM machine. Automatic telemachine.

ATM. ATM. It's all in there. My final suggestion is when I'm in a train station at 6am, bleary-eyed, buying a paper, and the WH Smith staff still ask me if I want a massive bar of chocolate for a pound. Fuck off, mate. I'm buying a scientific calculator. I if I want a massive bar of chocolate for a pound. Fuck off, mate. I'm buying a scientific calculator. I don't want a block of Oreo.

Well, you said you're buying a paper. I don't know why you're buying a scientific calculator at six in the morning. Yeah. They do sell them at the Tillswood. Oh, that's really strange. To paraphrase Mitch Hedberg, when I go into Pret-a-Mange,

I just buy like a banana or a nectarine. They go, do you want a receipt? He's going, I'm never going to approve. I need to prove that. I'm never going to approve that I bought a nectarine. Expenses, mate. Expenses, mate. Expenses.

More Keith Cooks news. Do you want some of that? Oh, yeah. Yes, please. So Keith Cooks is now aware of us. Uh-oh. We've become self-facilitating nodes in the Keith Cooks world. Are we canon? Are we Keith Cooks world. Are we canon?

Are we Keith Cooks canon? We might be soon. Some naughty little sausage of this parish has got in touch with Keith on his YouTube channel. What a shit. And posted a comment saying, Pete Donaldson loves your channel.

And he told listeners to check it out. If you go onto iTunes podcast and search The Week in Pete Show, they mention how great your channel Yeah And he told listeners to check it out If you go onto iTunes podcast And search for The We Compete Show They mention how great your channel is Yeah Keith Cook's replies Yeah After his email to us

Yeah So this is a development Right Saying cool I thought some of it was a bit negative But hey Oh How does that make you feel Pete?

It makes me really sad Yeah Yeah I think you should do a tribute, Long Egg. Yeah, I don't know what to say. You've brought misery and negativity to that man's life. I think sometimes you've got to kind of roll with the punches. I don't mind if people slag off my work.

I mean, my work is genuinely terrible. But the amount of people who are on Twitter who will say... Your work's not terrible, your output's terrible. Yeah. It's average. My attitude's dreadful as well. Yeah, it's really poor, yeah. A lot of people criticise my voice, so...

What do they say? Wanker? Shit. I don't understand why no... This is a really good example of it. I don't understand why people would understand, would not complain about my stories, because they start in the middle, they go outwards.

I don't have the power of sentence structure I say er a lot I say like a lot I don't know how anyone can listen to this to me you're a deli alley type broadcaster

instinctively you're very good yeah and sometimes I switch off when you've got time to think about it or you have to maintain focus

I think you find it quite difficult I'm sad about Keith Cook sorry Keith Cook well he's not listening now is he he might be I will be

he's basically tuned into episode 100 thought these people would slag me off he's not with us through episode 107 no I think 100 is quite complimentary

which is the one where you slag him off the most I didn't slag him off I just said look at this guy he's a rubbish cook no I'm not saying

he was good cooks don't attempt a long egg because it's just a long egg we saw Fred Darnage do it you did and he's not a cook's daughter. Tempt a long egg because it's just a long egg. And we saw Fred Darnage do it. You did.

And he's not a cook. No, he's not. He's the how to science man. No, his his. I'm not. And I'm definitely not backtracking here.

My delight at this man was his presentational style where he would constantly just burn his hands on some hot water and then go, oh, I'm cooking with a waste pipe.

That's why it's funny. I'm not slagging out any other part of his life. His kitchen's nice. You're mocking him. You are mocking him. I'm mocking him. Speaking of cooks,

did you see Tom Kerridge? You're not into this sort of stuff, are you? Who's that? Tom Kerridge is the guy who runs The Hand and Flowers. It's a two-mission-star pub in Marlow.

He's a big fat lad and now he's lost a lot of weight. Ball in Marlow in Bocce. He was a big fat lad and now he's lost a lot of weight. Ball guy, friendly, smiley face. Looks like an egg with a face drawn on. Okay. Long egg?

Looks like a long egg with a smiley face drawn on. He's just opened a traditional British classics restaurant in a hotel in town somewhere out in London.

I can't remember where. And he's, I don't think he's boasting about it, but I guess the PR guff andon i can't remember where and um he's i don't think he's boasting about it but i guess the pr guff and the press and stuff is talking about how he's developed the best ever fish and chips okay and it's uh you get like a beautiful battered piece of cod or whatever it is and you get these homemade dips you get like a homemade curry sauce a homemade tartar sauce and a um a ketchup or whatever oh I'd be up for that yeah and you get 12 quite thick chunky lattice stacked

triple cooked chips like Jenga yeah and it looks amazing 33 quid well if someone's going to the time I don't mind

spending 30 quid on a main to be honest 33 quid on a main it doesn't look big enough Pete it looks like I could eat about 4 of them

do you reckon oh yeah there has to be enough food there definitely I would do that challenge but that would cost me £132 so I'm not going to do that

so yeah anyway we should end on Keith Cooks because Keith Cooks deserves headline billing on this show I've always respected him I don't know about you Pete you'd never heard of him

before me and now I like him well I like him too I've become I've grown very fond of him George Dawes him George Dawes in George Dawes on

Vicar who obviously did a lot of work with Vicarious and Bob Mortimer the first time he saw Vic and Bob on the telly

he could not believe they'd managed to get onto BBC 2 and he wrote a letter of complaint to the BBC saying what is this shit yeah and then he realised they were really good

so fuck you K Kiko. Eat my dick. The real story is, you said... Eat my long dick. You said, I found this YouTube channel

of a man and I'd like to exploit him. And I said, no. Not exploiting. I said, you can have him on the show. Yes, definitely. But you have to tone it down because I respect the man.

I did not say any of that. Let's get over you bloody Robert alright we'll be back next time with episode 108 speak soon shitbag stay out of trouble

look after yourself I haven't finished yet Pete for goodness sake stay out of trouble look after yourselves and each other and we'll be back next time respect Keith Outro Music