The Luke and Pete Show - Episode 108: Stevie Trousers

Episode Date: October 18, 2018

Let's talk weightlifting, let's talk Wario, let's talk a mystery man from Nicaragua who is changing currency on a bus (much to the confusion of one of our listeners), and why is Pete staying in a budget hotel in a rough part of Portsmouth?Elsewhere, there's confusion between US and UK shower setups, and we hear more call centre-based tales and obviously much, much more...To take Pete for a pint: [e-mail]***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The sun keeps breaking through the clouds, Luke, and then hiding once again behind its flowery eiderdown, and it's really confusing. I keep on thinking it's bright, and then it's dark, and then it's bright. It's giving me the emotional bends. It's the metaphor for our love affair. What? Sometimes it's bright, sometimes it's a little darker. Sometimes you disappear.

A little darker. Sometimes you disappear behind that emotional eiderdown. And I just want to shake you out of it. Oh, hello everyone. Welcome to episode 108. Can you believe it? How did this happen? Look mum, no hands. I'm Luke Moore, that's Pete Donaldson. Live from Fallujah, baby.

Live or life. No. No? Oh, I've really hurt my shoulder today. I need Marcus Speller from the Football Rambler to give me a massage with his strong fingers. You've actually pre-answered my question which is going to be how are you, me old pal? I'm alright.

It's just my neck. I sort of overdid it. When I started, I'd never really done sort of lifting in the gym before. Oh, here we go again. What were you saying?

You're talking about people last time around. Yeah, last time around you were talking about Ironman. Yeah. And you were saying, oh, people talk about it all the time.

All you've talked about the last few weeks is how much gym work you've been doing. I just want to be a big, strong baby. Like George Dawes. I don't know if George Dawes wants to be a big, strong boy. Peanuts!

Peanuts! When I started, I was lifting 100 of whatever the... I don't know the numbers. Don't pretend not to know. You've got your gloves on. You've had your protein shake. Got my belt. Yeah.

Got those big fucking WWE belts that people have. Yeah. Fucking idiots. There's a man who always comes over and gives me unsolicited gym advice. That is always... He's trying to hit on you, isn't he? Is he? I expect so, yeah.

He could have the pick of the gym. He's a big muscle man. He might be like... He's a little boy. Maybe he likes scrawnywny pathetic specimens with asthma he wants to throw me around a bit

yeah exactly why not I used to be able to do like 100 when I first started and I was like oh that's really hard now I can do 150

literal improvement in what something I've done it so rarely happens that must make you feel uncomfortable what improvement

yeah it's horrible self improvement disgusting gross I did intend to spend the first portion of the show talking about

your habits getting bench pressed by me yeah the reason well that's impossible what's going on because I weigh about 17 weekly there's no way you can press me

you want to do it now I don't know can you even lift me do you want to see if you can lift me just actually put your arms around me and lift me up I don't do any leg work let's make that very clear

oh so that will come out your leg so you won't be able to do it well yeah you'd have to I'd have to line the floor Do you want to see if you can lift me? Just actually put your arms around me and lift me up. I don't know any leg work. Let's make that very clear. Oh, so that will come out your leg, so you want me to do it? Well, yeah. I'd have to lie on the floor, and you'd have to lie on top of me. And then you'd see if you can lift me? Yeah. Oh, you should be able to do that. No, because that's not lifting me off the ground, is it? That's just pivoting me up.

All right. Get yourself on a pallet. And you've got to lift a pallet as well? You've got to lift a pallet as well. All right. Pallets are really heavy, aren't they? Do I have to get completely naked? Yeah. All right. Every last inch. Even if I didn't they? Do I have to get completely naked? Yeah.

All right. Every last inch. Even if I didn't have to, I still would. Not oiled up. It'd make it harder to grip me. Yeah, good point. I've been concerned recently, and I know you won't take this the wrong way, and you'll take it in the spirit into what's intended, and you're not a precious or sensitive character,

so I think you will take this the right way. Fuck off. I've been concerned right by some of your behavior recently oh and i want to just talk to you about it right and after that i want to i've got found a quiz online and i want you to answer the quiz okay it's not like a knowledge quiz it's more like a personality yeah that's fine it's very very simple yeah uh because a couple of weeks ago on our whatsapp group between a bunch of us you declared that you were staying in an ibis hotel in fratton yeah which is one of the worst parts

of portsmouth yeah and you're out and for a weekend now on the tiles in portsmouth right but staying in an ibis in fratton on your own i i worry about that. Then this weekend coming, I think you're staying in a hotel in Leicester for a booze up with some people. Have I not told you about this? Yeah, you told me a bit about it. No, but I've told, like, so, I'm going to make a couple of uni mates.

This was all booked before I had, I had to go to Zimbabwe the very next day. Yeah. I was staying with some uni mates and so one of the uni mates didn't go to our halls of residence back in the day uh now he's booked as an airbnb unbeknownst to him in our original halls of residence that we used to live in in the first year of university i'm going back to school it's either depressing or it's a rob schneider movie

which is it literally going back to school both We both. But I just feel that... Well, I did some of my best masturbation. Yeah. Steady on. Well, you did a lot of masturbation. I'm sure you're very good at it now. As we found out last time around, you're living like an incel baby.

Yeah, baby. Incel Styles, that's your rap name. So, we are men of a certain age now. I'm slightly older than you. Vintage, yeah. I'm 38, you're 37. You'll be 38 in April, won't you, I think. And I've found a questionnaire online.

And I want you to do it. I'm going to read you the questions and I want you to answer them. Yeah. And the title of the survey is, Are you a creepy older guy in a nightclub? Yeah. Is this from a Daily Mash? Yes, it is. Yeah, is somebody sending you a Daily Mash? survey is, Are You a Creepy Older Guy in a Nightclub? Yeah. Is this from a Daily Mash?

Yes, it is. Yeah, is somebody sending a Daily Mash? It is, yeah. So, I mean, it's already a satirical piece that you're ripping off for the sake of the little picture. I've found it. I'm happy to give it credit. If it's a genuine psychological study, I'll do it.

I mean, it's just like... Well, you're doing this one. Are you doing this? Yeah, you're doing this one. All right. Because your behaviour is similar to this. Yeah, but I don't go to nightclubs, do I? Where do you go then? I go do it. I mean, it's just like... Well, you're doing this one. Are you doing this? Yeah. You're doing this one. All right. Because this is some... Your behaviour is similar to this. Yeah, but I don't go to nightclubs, do I?

Where do you go then? I go to bars. No, you go to... Wine bars. You go to indie clubs. Yeah, I go... If I can find an indie club, I'll go to an indie club. Problem is, the modern indie club is full of kids.

Plenty of music. That's the annoying thing. They'll play the Libertines. Yeah. But it's just full of kids. What's that about? What do you expect to happen? Well, I expect them to update the music.

Stick a bit of Kendrick in there, mate. This is getting worse for you. Why? You're like Brett Kavanaugh on the confirmation hearing. I just want to slam some skis in my bros.

Yeah. Okay. So, there's a few questions and they're taught. Like me, he does say that he doesn't drink during the week.

That's been proven to be false. Yeah. Like you. On his own calendar. The't drink during the week. That's been proven to be false repeatedly on his own calendar. The sort of person who drinks till he blacks out, quite apart from all the other fucking shit he's been accused of, drinks till he blacks out and then puts it in his calendar that he's gone for brewskis with the boys. One of the best tweets about it was someone tweeting on Friday,

Oh, it's Friday. Can't wait to go and drink exactly one beer and write it in my calendar. Anyway, Pete, so you're doing this questionnaire. It's from the Daily Mash. I make no apology for that. I'm not writing a quiz myself,

am I, for you. That would be beyond depressing. First up, and you just answer A or B. At the end, we'll find out what type of person you are. I think I already know, but the listeners

would probably be entertained by it. Question one. Dancing. A. Are you just jumping up and down, feeling a mixture of elation and self-consciousness? B. Are you sweating heavily and dancing with a stunned grin on your face while groups of girls keep edging away from you?

No, I'm definitely jumping up and down. So you're A. That's the way I only dance. Clothing. Edgy, minimalist streetwear or Debenhams own brand of casual club jeans and a slightly shiny going out shirt. Third option.

Cheap, undersized top man suit. I think that's B. That's got to be B. Nah. Drinks. Did you get drunk at home for financial reasons and are now trying to make one rum and coke last the entire night?

Or have you just bought 10 people you don't know shots in a desperate attempt to attach yourself to a group? You are fucking B here, pal. Yeah, that's fair. Definite B. That's a fair cop, Gov. A. Question four, or three, whatever it is.

A. Are you out with your mates but constantly checking your phone? Or are you B, out alone all for just one other guy who was wearing a barber jacket and keeps yawning John that's how I met John isn't it John just wants to drink your B

I'm the one yawning though are you looking for that one girl you see in the club for the last four weeks I haven't spoken to or are you wandering around thinking that you fancy every woman in the club this cuts deep yeah mostly B's wandering around thinking that you fancy every woman in the club. This cuts deep. Yeah.

Mostly bees. You are now a Stevie Trousers, the name given to men in their 40s and beyond frequenting nightclubs. Stevie Trousers. And yes, discussing mortgage deals, school catchments, and the reason you ended up choosing Evolvo with single females. We'll get you laid. You are Stevie Trousers, mate.

Brilliant. And that's what I'm calling this week's show Stevie Trousers now we can get into the psyche of my my existence if you like about how I spend all my time

worrying about being overweight and pottering around my garden annoyed that foxes keep digging up the flower beds which is in its way

at least as depressing at least you're having a good time. I'm happy that you've got a show on Talk Sport on a Friday night. That's all I'm saying. Well, actually, you haven't got to go out with me.

Well, no, you have no interest in going out anywhere, so this stops you from doing... No, I always have a beer after Talk Sport. I go to the Fountain Inc. pub with a couple of the guys

that we did a show with, and they're younger than me. I'll be honest. They're younger than me. And sometimes be honest. They're younger than me. And sometimes I even pop down the road to the cocktail bar in the hotel on the river so I can have another drink later on.

Ooh la la. But I don't go to a nightclub. What's your point? Like nightclubs are there for people to dance and have a nice time and be jubilant. The thing about pubs is

you sit there and everyone just does farts and talks and becomes more maudlin. People. Why can't you just end the night with jumping around going

fucking yes I'm alive this is brilliant. I did say earlier at least you're having a good time. I didn't concede that but what is it about life that means that

you cannot stop in one place for very long? Boring innit? It is boring. I realise I get tired looking at the same face I'm a bit of a people watcher

I was like no one's doing anything mental I've annoyed myself I've annoyed myself that I've made you sound like some sort of Bob Dylan character there well yeah

quite cool I get tired looking at the same old faces exactly yeah gotta keep moving baby yeah if you want to follow behind

that's fine let's get rid of just get out my fucking way just try and keep up fine let's get rid of the big story don't just get out my fucking way just try and keep up yeah um let's have a little break and after that we're going to talk about um the difference between british and american showers hey y'all it's farmer me mine today i'm going to show you what i've been doing to take care of the pantry moth situation pantry moth situation This is the email section. The best part of the show, according to me and Pete,

and probably the listeners as well. Definitely. Hello at LukeandPeteShow.com to get in touch for any reason. We love reading your emails, so please do get them in. Pete, I thought I'd start with this one from Sean O'Brien. He's from Boston, Mass. He's a real

SOB. He's a Masshole. And he says the following. Hi, gents. I know there isn't an Ask Luke or Pete section of the show, but I have a question that I thought you two might be able to shed some light on. I'm American, but I've traveled to Europe a number of times, and in almost every European country I've been to,

my hotel or B&B have had partially enclosed showers basically a pane of glass that only extends half the length of the shower or the bathtub i've included the picture of what i mean in case my description doesn't make any sense it does make sense sean inevitably when i use these water ends up all over the floor in the us all of our showers are fully enclosed so this is not an issue so my question is how the hell are you supposed to use these showers so the flooding doesn't occur are you supposed to just huddle under the shower head and pray for the best it seems like a design flaw but i'm assuming it's actually user error on my side and any tips to prevent future issues we much appreciate it

i think american uh hotels and certainly american homes have bigger bathrooms. And they have separate showers and tubs. But we very much put the two together sometimes. So in my wife's old apartment, it was a shower and a bath. They have a double curtain, you see. They have a curtain that goes the length of the bath, as Sean rightly says. And it's got an inner curtain, which sits on the inside of the bathtub. And an outer curtain that goes on length of the bath, as Sean rightly says, and it's got an inner curtain, which sits on the inside of the bathtub, and an outer curtain that goes on the outside.

Well, good hotels will have that. I'm known, I'm kind of known in my friendship circles as being someone who floods bathrooms a lot. Didn't you have to move out of your flat recently to have that sorted? That was a damp problem. That was just something with the pipes behind my shower. I'm not your landlord now. Tell us the truth.

What do you mean? It was just that they hadn't fitted the shower properly. So every time I turned on the shower, it would deposit all of the hot water

into the cavity. Oh, okay. I can't imagine what damage that's done. It certainly leaked down into the storeroom for the pasta place underneath me. Dried pasta they sell.

That's going to be ruined. Previously dried pasta. My shower just has a little wall sticking out, and it's not adequate. It does splash everywhere. It's annoying. What a mess. What about your shower, Pete? I've just got a shower cubicle, which I've started using to learn Japanese vocabulary.

I stick a little bit of paper on the other side and while I'm showering, I can sort of learn a bit of Japanese. Good idea. Multitasking. I know, right? It's just dead time, that, isn't it? That's showing a dedication

that I wouldn't have associated with you. Warui is bad, which I didn't know before, which is presumably why they call Wario, Wario. There we go. What a bit of trivia that is. They love wordplay. I'm including that in the synopsis. That sounds like me writing something down is me including that in the synopsis.

Sean's absolutely right. The picture he's included is this glass sort of panel. And they are quite popular here, aren't they? I don't really understand. Now he's mentioned it, I don't know why. You do see them a lot in hotels. Yeah, it's not great. It's not ideal. Have you got an email there, Peter? Yes, I will.

It's on my phone. So let me just unlock it with my face. I've got one coming up about a call centre, which would be very popular. A cool centre? No, an un-cool centre. You mean a freezer? Yeah.

Hello to Christopher Barrow. Hi, guys. I've been listening to your show for a while and I have a story that might be up your alley. It involves a trip through Central America, a bus on a Pan-American highway and a mysterious random stranger.

Wow, this does sound interesting. In the spring of 2008, I was travelling with my wife throughout Mexico. We were having a good time seeing friends and new places and just taking our time.

But eventually, I got a wild hair. I'm not really sure what that means. What? We had just enough in our budget for one last push somewhere to finish

up our travels and I wanted to do something rather adventurous. Some friends of ours who live near the border with Guatemala told us about the TICA bus. The TICA bus, which stands for the Transportes Internacionales Centroamericas or International Central American Transport, is a business that travels

to capital cities in most of Central America. You can buy a really cheap ticket at capital cities in most of Central America. You can buy a really cheap ticket at the border of Mexico, travel by bus south to Panama, stopping at capital cities of the countries along the way. Incredible. The tickets are not set to a date, so if you want to get offered a stop in a capital city like San Jose in Costa Rica, for example,

spend a few days, you could come back and continue your journey south to Panama. You can also purchase a round trip. It's up to you. It seemed perfect for us. The hotels near the stops are cheap. The people are great. And we would get the stuff to El Salvador, Nicaragua, Costa Rica, and Panama. It drove straight through Guatemala and Honduras.

Our plan was to go down to Panama, then on the way back up, stop off in Costa Rica, and do a side trip to the Pacific, then continue on. So we begin our... That sounds brilliant. It's good, isn't it? Yeah. Long, though.

Oh, they better have good comfy seats. Yeah. So we begin our trip brilliant it's good isn't it yeah long though oh they better have good comfy seats yeah uh so we begin our trip south i'm loving it we're seeing new landscapes talking with a few people on board no timeline no worries at all but after our first night in el salvador we realized you made a decent sized mistake the main currency we bought were mexican pesos only a few american dollars uh in my bag everyone in central america will take the american dollar but not the peso huh back then i had zero in a bank account so i couldn't just run to an atm we had enough dollars to get us to maybe costa rica but we'd need to find a bank somewhere to exchange our pesos we decided to push on and do the exchange in nicaragua or costa rica maybe even

spend an extra day in one of those spots and continue on this led me to an encounter i will never forget. On the bus leg to Nicaragua, I'm thinking I can maybe exchange a small amount of pesos for dollars with some folks on the bus. I'm talking to a couple of my fellow travellers around me and I tell them I'm looking to exchange Mexican pesos and

they laugh and say they can't help. One of them points out, excuse me, a lone traveller sitting near the front of the bus that may be able to help. You should ask the other gringo, they said. A Clint Eastwood type character. Ask the other gringo. The man with no name. I look up at the front of the bus

and see a guy about my age, mid-twenties at the time, who I had barely noticed before. He and I were probably the only Americans on the bus. My wife is Mexican. He was quiet and he dressed plainly. It looked as if he didn't want to get noticed, but he didn't give off a stay away kind of vibe. I approached him and we started chatting about the trip. He asked a few questions about me and then I told him I was looking to exchange dollars for pesos. I didn't expect to have any luck, but he said he was returning to Mexico and could

certainly help him out. Really nice guy. So I started asking about his story. He told me how he had done this a few times before and it was something he liked doing during his off-season. I asked him what he meant by that. Things started to get interesting. He told me he was in politics, that he helped run state and local election campaigns, mainly in California. He wasn't affiliated with any particular party,

but he worked for whoever paid him the most. He made a ton of money and he just liked to travel around during the spring. It all sounded really cool and it was a very interesting conversation. So when I asked what he was looking to do in particular on this trip, he told me he was here to play pick-up baseball

and that Nicaragua was the best place to play pick-up baseball. He was dead serious. What a character. And while I wanted to believe him, it just sounded like something he'd made up. After a couple more awkward exchanges, he made it abundantly clear

that the conversation was over and that he needed to get back to his seat, or rather that I needed to get back to my seat. I thanked him for the small transaction we did and returned to my seat beside my wife. I was a little bit puzzled about the way the conversation ended. Indeed, a little

alarmed. It didn't help that he kept looking back at me with a side-eye glare. I decided to bring my wife up to speed when we would be in a more private situation, so I didn't discuss anything and tucked into a book. Meanwhile, our journey self continues on. We're in Nicaragua now, with rural landscapes dominating the scenery on the Pan-American Highway.

Agri-gutual fields, mainly corn, farm animals, a few structures here and there pass us by. Some mountains and hills can be seen in the distance, and I wonder how long it is until Managua, the big Nicaraguan capital city. But the bus comes to a sudden stop. My fellow passengers all around me all have confused looks and since they are regular travellers of the Tika bus,

I'm guessing this is an unscheduled stop and maybe something is wrong. I look to the front of the bus and my new sketchy acquaintance grabs his bag, thanks to the driver, and exits. The driver immediately closes the door and we continue on. Through the window, I catch the American approaching a Nicaraguan bystander I hadn't noticed before. They barely greet each other, and it looks all

business. I didn't see two friends reuniting after months of being apart, but I could be mistaken. They turn their backs and walk down a dusty side road, and a monument sorry, a moment later, out of sight. I begin to recount all that he's told me with my wife as I'm rehashing the details

I'm thinking more and more of some of that was bullshit I mean who the fuck was that guy what was he doing in rural Nicaragua it just seems to me

that he was lying about something in the end it didn't matter he helped us out a little bit and went on his way but his story

about pick up baseball abrupt departure in rural Nicaragua has stayed with me do you know the description in my mind I'm thinking

Doug from House of Cards yeah just yeah quite intense he's got something to do out in the sticks he's got a woman in a safe house

that he has to look after yeah Chris from Atlanta G-A-U-S-A I mean not a particularly kind of salacious story but there's just something there

but I like I like the stories we get from listeners that are a little bit sort of the road less travelled yeah this could be perfectly normal

but on the other hand a particularly observant listener has thought that's not quite right about that it's like the Japanese men just taking that man into the van

or something the old man to the van in the middle of the midwest or something very weird we never solve these problems no

we never solve these listen if you are listening and you're in Nikiwagawa and you know this guy, get in touch. Long shot, I know. Yeah. Long shot.

Maybe play pick up baseball with the guy. I'm going to bring us back down to earth. Okay. With an email from a call center, not call center.

Although particularly this one doesn't sound very, very, very cool. It's from anonymous. He says, please keep me anonymous. Not the hacker group. No. Please keep me anonymous in order to keep my employment safe. I's from Anonymous. He says, please keep me anonymous. Not the hacker group. No.

Please keep me anonymous in order to keep my employment safe. I am a union rep for one of the big banks in the UK. Wow, this already sounds like a Bruce Springsteen song.

Yeah. And I bought my first real six string at the Five and Dime. Oh. That's a bit Brian's for you. Did I tell you that my friend thought that was

I got my first real six string bought it at the Claude Van Damme. Claude Van Damme. Oh. That's a bit Brian Adams for you. Did I tell you that my friend thought that was, I got my first real six string, bought it at the Claude Van Damme. Claude Van Damme. Yeah. Sometimes your brain just does what it wants with it, isn't it? The song Run To You by Brian Adams. Brian Adams as well, yeah.

It's just him wanting to fuck someone else. It's a whole song about just, I want to leave my missus and go with you. It wouldn't hurt her if she didn't know, he says in that, Wouldn't hurt her if she didn't know, he says. It wouldn't hurt her if she didn't know. It was covered by a very strange outfit in the early 90s called Rage. I don't know why they covered it.

Arrested Development's song, God, what is the name of that bloody song, was covered by a punk band called Newfound Glory. And I can't remember Newfound Glory. I can't remember Newfound Glory. I can't remember which song it was, but basically a lot of it is just about, it was Tennessee

by Rest Development. It was all about being, you know, a young black man in America. Right. And Newfound Glory covered it.

A white punk band. Yeah. And the lyrics are so weird to hear coming out of a white man's mouth. I just love the song. I just love the song. Very strange. Jack White covers a load of a white man's mouth. I just love the song. I just love the song. Very strange.

Jack White covers a load of stuff, like country stuff, well not a load, but some country stuff, which is sung and written for female singers. He did,

obviously famously did Jolene. I'm begging you, please don't take my man. He didn't change the words or anything. No, but it's a particular, they're not known.

I'm not familiar with the song, so I knew what you were talking about, but I understand the point. Anyway, back to Anonymous, who was a union rep for one of the big banks in the UK. When Luke said that they wouldn't be able to get away with monitoring every second you're in the toilet anymore, how wrong he could have been. So I used to work in the call centre,

and I think this is what stimulated this response. One of my most common cases, I guess in his role as this union rep, is someone's dignity being breached by being asked why they were away from their desk for so long. The funniest answer at the minute having been that was an evil curry I had last

night. Some of the most ridiculous things I've seen in my time as a rep regarding toilet breaks are, one, being told you cannot go to the toilet in the first or last hour of your shift. Two, being disciplined for taking a newspaper to the toilet. Not really sure you should be. That's taking the piss, that.

At least keep it in the... Because you get designated breaks, right? Keep it in the toilet tank. That's where people used to keep pornography when I used to work at an old radio station. Behind the system, right? Behind the system, yeah. In the tank, I used to get wet with it.

Well, no. If you've got like, if the tank's built into a larger kind of wooden thing, you can't lift that up. So we're talking about a Michael Corleone gun in Godfather type scenario. Yeah. Number three, a colleague with IBS being told

they can't use a disabled toilet and need to wait in the queue at the gents. This is a workplace which recognises a union, even if they don't like us. Imagine what is still going on in places where management can get away with whatever they want. There's a lot of, I think it's Amazon and a couple of other places, they've got training videos on how to train managers, how to bust fucking unions and stuff. It's disgraceful.

If you want to know which bank, obviously I can't tell you, but they are definitely not always by your side. Which is the one I used to work at. Oh, there you go. It's the one I'm thinking of, which it definitely not always by your side. Yeah. Which is the one I used to work at. Oh, there you go. If it's the one I'm thinking of

which it might not be so leave me alone. So leave me alone. Yeah. Yeah. There we go. That's the thing about kind of,

but then you do sort of think when you used to work in that bank in the call centre there were people who massively took the piss as well.

You're looking at one. Literally, exactly. Literally you. So I mean, I think there should be a sliding scale of, you know, the way to treat people. Definitely.

And I was even more obnoxious then than I am now. Hard to believe. And so I would be, so you would get, I can't remember, but for sake of argument, you would get

a 15 minute break in the morning, a 15 minute break in the afternoon, I don't know, say an hour for lunch or whatever. On the 15 minute break in the morning, there's a breakout area there. So there's whatever on the 15 minute break in the morning there's a breakout area there so there's like and i used to work there were quite a lot of my mates from school yeah and it was in between years at uni or whatever or just after we finished uni and so because you're already working there with quite a few of your pals the social life there was quite good because you go off to work for a beer or whatever

but the breakout area had had a table tennis table with all the gear and we are all keen like players of it right and you i mean it would just be ridiculous because you'd be down there i i got to the point where i think i started off thinking well it is a 15 minute break say but i mean five minutes there and yeah really really yeah really i should i'll take 25 no one will say anything and then they sort of didn't really do that. But then 25 becomes 30. Oh, it got to the point where I was just going down until they told me to come back.

So they'd have to come down and tell me, which is a really obnoxious thing to do because you are being paid to do a job and you've accepted that. Now, of course, I'm not defending the practices

that go on which are illegal and terrible for people who've got families to look after and stuff. But in my situation, I was being a dickhead, really. So you're talking about people who took the piss.

I was one of those people. I just wish I knew then what I know now in those kind of jobs so you're talking about people who took the piss I was one of those people I just wish I knew then what I know now in those kind of jobs where you'd be like look you spent all morning training me up

two weeks of training for that job by the way if you fire me that's a pin in the arse for you so I know how to do the job so let's just give me what I want

leave me alone just leave me alone I'll do a little bit of work I remember even at Capital Radio where we first met I remember getting a report thing back there from my manager who I liked and I still do like alone yeah i'll do a little bit of work i remember even at capital radio where we first met i remember getting a report thing back there from my manager who i liked and i still do like i don't really

know anymore but i like it i liked her and she was reporting back to her boss saying you know luke is unmanageable you just need to we need to do something about this yeah they would never fire me so i don't know so have you seen how bad small sales staff are exactly exactly so i was probably one of many in that situation. Especially in the radio industry, anyway. But I do think that, clearly, if you've got people who are working there and it's their career, what it is from my point of view, it's just me being arrogant. Because I think, oh, I'm not going to be there for the rest of my life, so I don't care.

But I am being paid to be there. That's why the lifers hate you. Yeah, they do. That happens when you have factory jobs and stuff as well, doesn't it? Oh, yeah, they absolutely hate you. Yeah, there you go. All right, mate. Listen, we should squeeze one more email in before we go.

All right, darling. Have you got one or do you want me to do one? You seem quite keen to put another one in. I can do another call centre one. All right, darling. Luke recently mentioned an old colleague of his who worked and had limited vocabulary, so she would drag certain phrases out

or insert words that didn't make sense. As someone who's worked in call centre environments for most of his adult life, there is a particular example of this that really gets to me. I'd estimate that over half the people that work in call centers inappropriately say yourself instead of you, ourselves instead of us, and myself instead of me. This results in people saying things like, if yourself could just email over that to ourselves, and I can't explain to them why that's wrong because i don't want it like a dickhead all the best paul that definitely happens yeah but but just to go back to the it's like thinking that over complicating language somehow makes it um more professional that's what it is hypercorrection isn't it's called and and

interestingly enough the most common example of hypercorrection is you know a b c d e f g h i j k but people now say h i j k which is an over correction and someone pointed out on twitter the other day that for the first time do you know who it was it was richard dawkins you know richard dawkins essentially invented memes right so this idea that evolutionary um principles apply to things like language and behavior and that kind of not behavior you know what i mean and he said his a great example of that happening is for the first time ever i think he said he heard on radio 4 news that a woman or a man i forget it was pronounced h h yeah and so now that so now, that's a big thing because BBC received

pronunciation language on Radio 4. It's essentially now crossed over to the mainstream. Could it not be a slip? Could be. Who knows? Ask the prof.

But on the call centre thing, just very quickly before we go, when I said earlier that we used to take the piss, I mean, I've just remembered we'd have to work Saturdays nine till one,

but there'd be no management in. So you'd go in there, set your call up, and I told you before that we'd have to work Saturdays, nine till one, but there'd be no management in. So you'd go in there, set your call up, and I told you before that you'd set your computer up and you'd just get a ding-ding in your ear and a call would be through and it would be a customer, a bank customer. And what you're supposed to do is obviously deal with their problem, help them, and then if you need to,

refer them to a different department, put them on hold, use your stuff. Genuinely, on Saturday mornings, sometimes, we'd still be like pissed with the night before, whatever, and some of our mates wouldn't be working that Saturday shift. We would put customers on hold

and transfer them to our mates' mobile phones. So they would get a phone call, Saturday morning, in bed or whatever, hello, and it would be, I would say, hello,

is that Steve? Steve, it's Luke at so and so and he'd be like yeah so we've got Mr Smith here he wants to know why his check hasn't

cleared can you please say thanks hang up and he'd be on the phone to them so that's what I mean when I was saying

taking the piss silly billies I know there you go what a load of silly billies that's us that's us right let's get out of here

this has been the Luke and Pete show episode 158 that's what it feels like stop lying that's what that's us right let's get out of here this has been the Luke and Pete show episode 158 that's what it feels like stop lying that's what it feels like why are you lying

hello at lukeandpete.com if you want to get in touch why did you fill this house full of lies and we will see you soon it's been an absolute pleasure Pete say goodbye bye bye everyone you