The Luke and Pete Show - Episode 11: Get Your Tintagel Out

Episode Date: August 14, 2017

Luke's been to Cornwall and discovered a giant goat (with a huge penis) in an exceptionally well laid out museum, and Pete brings two vocal record-breakers to the table, with differing results.There's also time to hear about a truly horrific mental disorder courtesy of one of our listeners, and we round off the show by heading to sea for the newest Mencarta induction.We love hearing from you, so say hello here: [e-mail] Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 11, Episode 11, Episode 11, Episode, Tis the Season! Episode 11, Episode 11, Episode 11, La la la la la la la la la la Tis the season, it's always the real thing Episode 11, Episode 11, It's the Luke and Pete show. How are you doing? It's Luke and Pete's episode, what's Luke? Episode 11. Holy moly, we've been doing episode 11, that episode 11. That's like a sentence, isn't it?

Most Netflix series get to 13 episodes. Our listeners will be quaking. What's going to happen post 13? What's going to happen after 13? I watched a lot of Rick and Morty recently. It's something that Jim Campbell would bleat on about. Friend of Luke and Pete Shaw, I guess. I've never seen it.

Honestly, it's very good and way funnier than you think it might be uh for a cartoon well good very funny you you are you mean you brought it's my it's my new thing it's my new simpsons i've been doing that you brought in bob's burgers a while back bob's burgers it's funnier than bob's burgers which is incredible so i think a lot of our listeners to all the various um parts they can take me as parts of our canon uh would think of you as probably more of a cartoon character than they would me. Wouldn't they?

They would, wouldn't they? I guess so, yeah, yeah, yeah. If the cap fits, wear it, mate. Although you look odd wearing caps because your forehead area, the mass, is very, very large. Well, I mean, to be honest, most of the people I work with have pretty good heads of hair, but me, mine's not going anywhere, but it's looked pretty bad for quite a while anyway.

Do you remember, Pete, when years and years ago when we started working together, I casually threw out there, I didn't realise the offence it would cause, that you've got a shaved head because you can't grow hair properly. And then you embarked on a six-month mission to grow your hair because of that. It was like the mop-a-top hair shop. I just put my thumb in my mouth and tried to blow it out of my head. It wasn't actually you, Luke. It was actually the wife of Blue Peter presenter,

some might say, who left under a cloud, Richard Bacon, who actually said it, and I went, no, I can grow hair. She went, can you? I went, right. You were a contributing factor, maybe. You're more high-profile friend. Exactly. But the way i would look at that is i mean for example there are many events that led up to the first world war one of them has to be the archduke franz ferdinand association i thought my comment might have been that it sounds to me though that i'm destined to forever be a footnote in your life and never a major player i think my hairstyle at the moment is very much world war ii that is more hitler's rise to chancellorship i think that's probably how we'd

sort of go what have you been doing this week i've got press me button haven't i oh yeah i always forget it's been again well the problem is the thing's too loud this is this is too quiet this is tedious for listeners i'm not gonna make a big thing of this but what i will say this week is if you don't mind me say you did actually make me wait so you got those levels right in advance. There are so many different levels. It's two microphones, it's a hotkey, and you've got YouTube as well later on.

It's been... What have you been doing this week, Luke? Talk to me about PFLs. Pre-fitting levels. Yeah. They were all right at the start, but things change, don't they, Luke? Tell the listeners what they are.

You can listen to something off air so the listener can't hear it but you can check how loud something's going to be or what it is whether it's got square words in it and stuff for the radio station. So when you've got that button lit up it means you're on PFL and you're fine? Yeah. So if I press PFL now, we're

just recording and everyone can hear everything that we're saying but they can't hear me going you can a little bit through my headphones maybe. Okay yeah. A bit of headphone bleed. Yeah I can hear everything that we're saying, but they can't hear me going, you can a little bit through my headphones maybe. Okay, yeah. Bit of headphone bleed. Yeah, I can hear that. So only I could hear that. Okay.

Also, someone's got split monitoring on, and I think it might be the DJ Chris Martin, not the guy from Coldplay, but we've got a DJ called Chris Martin. He loves a bit of split monitoring because he can actually mix, I think. So he likes one feed in one ear and one feed in the other,

but I can't handle it. That's top level stuff. That's high level, that is. That's top stuff. I don't think anyone's going to be interested in that. Although I was. You asked me what I've been up to. I'll tell you what I've bloody well been up to. What? I have been to Cornwall. Right. I was in Cornwall last week.

The nation's shoe? Yes, if you like, yeah. The nation's shoe. I was in Tintagel and Boss Castle. Where? Tintagel. Boss Castle. Where? These are places I've never heard of. Well, you would have had a Tintagel when I tell you and remind you that that's the place where King Arthur, the mythical legend of King Arthur, Got his todgel out. No, he was conceived there, apparently.

Legend may have it. Well, todgels were involved then. It's a great castle in Tintagel. It's very Game of Thrones. You're making this up. I'm not, I'm not. It's great. It's a great castle in Tintagel It's very Game of Thrones You're making this up I'm not, I'm not, it's great It's a great castle in Tintagel But I was staying in Boscastle

And the reason I'm bringing that to the table this week Is not only because it's a great part of the world And not because it absolutely pissed it down the whole time I was there Making it genuinely difficult to go outside And we were there for my wife's birthday weekend as well Which made it worse, but anyway No hill walking for you, lovely No, I still did some

But there is a museum there which is fantastic as well, which made it worse. But anyway. No hill walking for you. Lovely. No, I still did some. Okay, right. Still did some. But there is a museum there, which is fantastic. And I know how much you love a little weird sort of esoteric museum, Pete. And hopefully our listeners do too. There's the Museum of Witchcraft and Magic there. Okay. It's only a fiver. That's quite pricey for it.

Right in Boscastle Harbour. So it's a very picturesque harbour. You might remember in 2004 it flooded really badly. Right. That would probably be the only reason people would know where Boscastle is. But anyway, it's a beautiful natural harbour. And in 2008 they drowned a witch there. Mate, well... Because it's Cornwall. Well you say that.

What? Well that's, I'm distancing myself from that particular comment. But you say that. But this museum of witchcraft and magic was founded by a guy called Cecil Williamson. Who was just interested in the occult. He's actually the founder of Wiccan, you know the religion of Wiccan? Oh, is he? Yeah. Really? Wow.

Yeah, the neo-pagan religion. That's pretty big, isn't it? Yeah, and he was a witch himself, and all this different stuff used to go on. He's also a contemporary of Alistair Crowley. You remember him? Yes. Alistair Crowley, famous occultist. And it was a fascinating museum for a couple of reasons. One, because it's very small

and it's almost in this very old thatched cottage-type house where someone of my height has to stumble through it and duck down. Knock it over, Joss Dixon, set in fact. But it's actually quite a nicely laid out museum and interesting enough the guest house I was staying in

we were having breakfast and this other couple were there and the guy who was there he curates one of the fairly well-respected museums in London. I forget which one. And he said he had come down partly to check out the layout of the Museum of Witchcraft and Magic in Boscastle because it's exceptionally well laid out. How do you translate a small collection into, you know, the Tate? It's not a small collection.

It's just very well... I think there's probably... I'm reading between the lines, but it's probably like an art to how you lay out a museum. I'm never saying these guys are particularly good at it. Anyway, Cecil Williamson... I almost called him Cecil Museum then. Very good at museum layouts.

How did you know you were going to be a museum creator? Well, it's in the name. Cecil Museum Layout. Cecil Museum, who all museums are named after he found this museum and he died a few years ago but it's a fascinating sort of journey into the sort of how you can imagine people started to believe that sort of stuff because people didn't necessarily back 200 years ago understand an awful lot about the world shall we say compared to now and you can see how that's what I would say is that in 2017 the flat earthers are back

the chemtrail people are back everyone's gone a bit mad true we're looking for solutions and we're looking for problems that before didn't we didn't have a problem

with flat earthers no they'd sort of disappeared we thought that battle was won yeah we thought we got it we brought it on the wall we went yeah

earth not flat then that basketball player came out and said it and then everyone said it didn't they rappers yeah but this museum's great I would recommend it it's fantastic lots of different earth not flat then that basketball player came out and said it and then everyone said it didn't they rappers yeah but this museum is great

I would recommend it it's fantastic lots of different one of the particular highlights for me is because it's not only a museum dedicated to sort of witchcraft

and magic it's also got a bit of the occult and a bit of sort of sort of satanic stuff and all that sort of thing and in the corner of one of the rooms

upstairs is a life size I guess sort of a. And in the corner of one of the rooms upstairs is a life-size, I guess, sort of a man-size goat. You know, not... Hello! You know, there's like a big sort of... Pick my interest. ...link between goats and...

Yes, they're cultural. Yeah, that sort of stuff. So it's got cloven hooves, and it's got a big cloak on, and it's got a goat's head with big horns and stuff. And I was there, and there was hardly anyone else in the museum, and I was there looking at the goat, and I thought, oh, I wonder if that's like a full-size mannequin. So I lifted up its cloak.

Luke! No joke, and I've got a video of this. No joke. The leg stopped at the knee, but obviously the cloak covered it. Gigantic wooden penis under the cloak. That no one's ever going to see, apart from me. Massive. Maybe they would lure you in.

This is the secret of the museum layout. Get you interested. That's how I became a Satanist. Your good lady wife turns around the corner, you've got your mouth thrown at wooden penis. No, that's not what happened. You've taken that and run with it. I'll be honest, you didn't.

I was so interested in the museum that I looked up Cecil Williamson, which is how I found out all this stuff about him. And one thing that I did find particularly interesting is because him and Alistair Crowley and a few of the other contemporaries, they were recruited by MI6 in World War II because the government, the British government were convinced that Goebbels and a load of the others, Goebbels,

I think he was in charge of propaganda for the Nazis, a load of the others were starting to try to use occultism and fortune telling and astrology and stuff to get an advantage in the war and the government were like, no stone unturned,

we want to check this. And so they recruited them as like spies and stuff. Wasn't Roald Dahl a spy? Yeah. All these kind of like quite well-known people. I think he was recruited

at Cambridge. Alastair Crowley, I think, was Cambridge educated. One of the things I've noticed recently about that sort of stuff is you write about Roald Dahl.

I don't know if there's a man at all of a certain age that wasn't a spy in World War II. Isn't anyone who's not on their side a spy?

Yeah. In reality. Have you been all day to France? Yeah, spy. There we go. Yeah. A low-style spy.

But it was a beautiful part of the world. A great museum. I've stayed in a lovely guest house as well. I wouldn't name check it, but I can't remember what it's called. Oh, the Old Parsonage in Boscastle. Very, very nice.

This is all very quaint. I love a... I'd much prefer a guest house to a hotel. Much prefer it. What's the difference? Well, a guest house is like you stay and you get breakfast in the morning and it's like someone's house.

Yeah, I don't like to intrude. I stayed in one in... I went to Essex. I stayed over in Essex for the first time, which is very interesting. I went to... You live in London.

Why are you staying in Essex? Because my mate Al wanted to go somewhere new. Actually, no, he didn't. That's the point. He wanted to go somewhere because his missus was out of town. So I went,

all right, I'll found us a place. Brighton was too expensive because it was Pride. So all the hotels were like 250 quid. But I found this little room in a guest house in Southend, so we had a little day in Southend. It was lovely.

Are you a man who spends weekends away with your friends even though you can easily both get home that night? Yeah. Okay. Yeah, pretty much, yeah. I'm fairly sure you can get a train back from Southend till about two in the morning. No, it's about 12.

It's about eight minutes past 12. I didn't check. That's no good for you. That's no good for me. You're just no good for the night owl dancer. To be honest, I lasted about one hour into a fresh day and I was like,

I'm going to go to bed. This weather spoons is rubbish. Wow. Well, listen, you're the only man I know who lives in literally one of the cultural hubs of the world out in Southend for a weekend.

Yeah. You went all the way down to carmel i got a museum how many museums you got here carmel's beautiful south end is not to look at to lift up goats skirts that was part of it that was that was a symptom not a cause i uh i've probably told this uh story before but i was in salem obviously got a big witch cool yeah kind of massachusetts yeah uh was in salem a good 10 years ago now and i think i've probably told this story before on another podcast but if i haven't here you go uh i was in a witch's uh museum like a museum of witchcraft and also like you know that like it's the witch trials and stuff like that obviously

took place around there murdered a lot of young women sadly but uh in the um in the gift shop there was just like there was just like loads and loads of books obviously for sale and stuff it was all about witchcraft and spells and how to cast spells how to do this how to do that the history of witchcraft um warlocks anything bit magical like that so it was witches warlocks witches warlocks and then in the middle there was a copy of the diary of Anne Frank. Huh. Now, I don't know what they're saying about Anne Frank. No.

Or anything else. Out of place. Yeah, I just couldn't figure out why in the middle of all these witches books, there was the diary of Anne Frank. Did you do that? I think what might have happened there is, you know when you see in the newspaper or whatever, someone goes to a gallery for their Tate Modern,

and the next day leaves their glasses behind by accident and everyone starts taking photos of it. Oh, right. Do you think it was like a neo-Nazi or something? No, I think someone probably was reading

the Diary of Anne Frank. Popped it in there. Put it down and forgot it. It's a cheery day, isn't it? The Diary of Anne Frank and then the witch trials. Brilliant. Making the connection.

That's unfair, I think. What have you been up to, Peter? To be honest, this week. You know I like my video games and stuff. I don't normally like those video games where you run around shooting people. I find that dull as dishwater. But I found one that I'm alright at.

Go on then. It doesn't really... I mean, it's called Battlegrounds. What happens is you and 99 other people are on a plane, a cargo plane, and it flies over an island, like a Russian island, I suppose, because they've all got Russian names.

I think it was made in Russia. And you jump out at different times. You choose when you want to jump out. And you land in all of these houses and stuff, because the environment is just dotted with houses and kind of like they've got trucks around and stuff like that. And you're completely nude. Well, not completely nude, but you've got pants on.

And your job is to kill the other 99 so you're the 100th you're the 100th so that's like 100 real life players in one yes so there's 100 real life players

on this island and you've got to kick the merry shit out of everybody else you get given weapons well you find weapons that's the thing so you start off with nothing

and you're just going around just looting just trying to find anything and you know you go into this house and you're like

is someone hiding in the house is someone hiding in the house it's giving me a bit of a complex yeah it sounds going around just looting, just trying to find anything. And, you know, you go into this house and you're like, is someone hiding in the house? Is someone hiding in the house? It's given me a bit of a complex, hasn't it? Yeah, it sounds... It's really stressful, and to make the players move... Because you could just hide, like, for the time it takes for everyone else to kill each other, you could just hide. But what happens every two minutes? The circle that you're allowed in gets smaller and smaller,

so then you convene on this very small patch of kind of island and kill each other. It's horrible. Yeah, two points. One, it sounds like an amazing concept for a game. I have to give it that credit. A bit like Battle Royale or something. Yeah, that's basically what it is. Secondly, civilization has descended.

That is horrific to me. In that game it is, but yeah. And so have you survived yet? No, I got to the top ten. I'm really good with my fists. What I do is, everybody else is looting, and while they're looting, I just run up behind them and just hit them in the head.

Is it one of those VR goggles games? No, no, it's third person, pretty much. You're looking over the shoulder of a player. What else I've been doing is, I've been on YouTube, basically. I didn't go to Cornwall, I didn't see the goatee devil's winky i i mean you are welcome to join me my god i can call it any time you want speaking

of uh that that goat with his um with his cloak um did you read that uh no spoilers game of thrones wise but did you say the costume designer um basically announced that um big, fluffy courts that John Snow wears... John Snow. John Snow. The bastard. The bloody bastard. I've seen the Night King. And if you don't join me, we're all going to be dead.

All of their clocks, they're fluffy bath mats from Ikea. Are they? Yeah. Excellent. Which has ruined it for me, I think. I thought you were going to say they were horrifically farmed from some animal farm or something where they kill people for their fur.

Not people, animals. Difference. There is a difference, I understand that. What did the goat tell you? I can't repeat it. Animals are people. But I've been on YouTube and I've been watching a man break a record and one man explain how he broke a record

well before we move on to that I was thinking about bringing up a bit of Game of Thrones next week because I was thinking I had to catch up so maybe we'll revisit that

next week perhaps okie dokie but you've got some Guinness World Records to show me do I need to look at YouTube again yeah you need to look at

YouTube I'll send you two links apologies for my mic skills on this because I have to change position to watch these videos where is it again? I just emailed you them.

This one first? Let's have that one first because it makes me laugh. I'm going to hit play now. Yeah. Alright, here we go. I'm looking at... Oh, okay. Highest vocal note Guinness World Records. So basically this guy's on the Guinness World Records TV show in

Australia, I think. Sounds like Australia, mate. Adam, you're attempting to beat a Guinness World Record that you yourself actually set. Yes. Would you like to tell us what that is? I sang the highest vocal note ever by a man. So it was a D7, which is the last D on the piano.

So what I'm attempting tonight is to sing my D7 and hopefully try and beat it as well. So it's a D7, so not Eminem's Mate's D12, but a musical... Not Eminem's Mate's D12, he says there. That debts the clip a little bit, doesn't it? Oh, right, yeah, it does look... Shout out Eminem's D12. I guess naturally, as part of my instrument,

as part of working my instrument out, I work on my vocal range and dynamics and all that sort of stuff. So yeah, it came naturally to me to just work on scales and I'm absolutely desperate to hear this. Describe what he looks like. He's dressed in a deer jacket, mate. He's got his deer jacket on. He looks very good.

He looks very Australian. There's a man behind as well who I think is... He's the guy who sort of knows how high things are. Oh, he's the Norris McWhirter? He's the Norris McWhirter of Australia. Any Guinness World Record attempt needs to be verified,

or in this case supervised, by our judicator, Chris Sheedy. How you doing, Chris? Hello, Chris. How you doing? Thank you. Chris has got a shirt tucked into his jeans. Looks pretty casual. Which one is...

Is it Ross or Norris who got shot at the door by the. Looks pretty casual. Which one is there? Is it Ross or Norris who got shot at the door by the IRA? Was it Ross? I'm sorry? Ha ha! Ross McWhirter! I had a brother, Norris. No, I think Norris McWhirter was the old guy.

Was the old guy on our British World Records thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But Ross McWhirter, I think, was shot at the door by the IRA. Oh, I didn't know that. Okay, fair enough. A little McWhirter fact there. Well, listen, the Australian Norris McWhirter has just walked in. shot at the door by the IRA. Oh, I didn't know that. Well, there you go. Okay, fair enough. Little McWhirter fact there. Well, listen, the Australian Norris McWhirter has just walked in. He's got a shirt casually tucked into his jeans. There's a Guinness World Record shirt logo on it.

Yeah. For all the musicians out there. That is four notes below Adam's current record. So once he gets four notes above the starting note, he will have hit his current Guinness World Record. Okay, so his fourth note, he'll equal the record. He will. And his fifth note's going to be higher.

So anything above D7... The thing I like about this, right, is that none of you, anyone out there listening remembers the Guinness World Records type shows. This is very similar, but just in Australia. They bring in the presentation award in their hand before the record takes place. Yeah, so it's already been printed out.

Well, if you don't get it, if you don't break the record, you don't get it. Yeah, you should be able to smash it up. Just smash it up in your face. Or sing a note so high that it smashes the award. And Jim Bowen should come and go, look what you could have won. Right, here we go.

So we have Jeremy here on set, who has perfect listening pitch to tell us the final note that... Jeremy's got perfect listening pitch. All right, Jeremy. I think he said whistling pitch, is he? He's got remarkable ability in singing. Andael as well is going to be playing that keynote to get you started so are you okay you're ready to start i think i'm ready we'll let you they've brought in a full-grown piano for this

to play one note here we go all right whoa Whoa I can barely hear that That is unbelievable That is unbelievable I was not expecting that How high is that? Very high

It's the highest note ever Yeah I think it has another crack Not sure what that note was yet What was it? If sharp note ever. Yeah. I think he has another crack. Not sure what that note was yet. F sharp. F sharp. No, he's muffed it up. For those of you listening to this,

it is honestly a man doing this. Yeah. It sounds like some sort of Like a dog whistle. Like a synthesizer type setting. But I also love the guy, Jeremy, who sits there. When someone sings another, he goes, F sharp. I love that skill. It's a great skill, that. He must be murder late if you listen to the radio.

That's C sharp and it's off the piano. Yes! Yes! He's done it! Pumps his fist. I might call the show this week, that's C-sharp and it's off the piano. Excellent find, that. Enjoying it.

What's this other video we've got here? He's the one who's got the lowest voice in the world and he's horrible to listen to. Lowest note ever sung. He's genuinely disgusting. I don't like his voice at all. Okay, by way of counterbalance to the highest note ever. I'm just trying to imagine in my head how high I can...

I've got a feeling us trying to sing the highest notes we can might be terrible radio. Because I'm only a little boy, but I think I've got quite a deep voice at times. I think you could have been a choir boy back in the day, but let's look at this guy in the horrendous jumper. This is from the 80s. Yeah.

Here we go. Lowest note ever sung coming up. Thank you all for being here. You can't hear me? Oh yeah, you can. But, so we're going to

make our attempt to start the recording. This guy sounds like the guy who used to do voiceovers for Hollywood trailers. No, it's deeper than that though, isn't it?

In a world. That guy. Yeah. Things to do voiceovers for Hollywood trailers. No, it's deeper than that, though, isn't it? In a world. That guy. Yeah. Things to do in Denver. But he's like... When you're dead. Yeah. Here we go.

He's ready. Yeah, at this time, I will make my attempt for McKenna's record for the lowest note. And we will begin. I mean, apologies for the sound quality, but, I mean, it's actually quite hard to pick up what he's saying, isn't it? You can't speak like this normally. No. Not quite as impressive, is it, that one? He looks like Stephen King.

And dresses like him as well. There's a bit at the end where they play out his knot in a computer. Oh, yeah. Here we go. Wipe that out. Steve, maybe you need to go backwards a little bit. Play the wrong... It sounds like a roar. Sounds like a bloody roar, that does.

That is... That's horrible, that. It's not as nice as the other one. The other one was impressive, wasn't it? Much more impressive. Hats off to both of them. I think the biggest metaphor for this, the first one, he's wearing a dinner jacket.

The second one, he's wearing a terrible jumper. He looks like he's just been walking up on a Sunday afternoon after a roast. He does a bit, yeah. That's sometimes what I sound like. Who's doing the washing up? I wake up in the morning. Do you reckon smoking actually helps him? No, it'd be too dry.

There still needs to be some moisture in there. His vocal cords must be like rubber bands, like really floppy. Right. Here we go. We'll both look after Luke. There we go. We'll both look after Luke.

If he feels sad about mum and dad, we'll both look after Luke. There we go. Your continually complicated relationship with technology is there for all to see. Do you want to do emails first or should I? Let's do emails and let you do the emails. Well, I'll do the first one because

this is harking back to an earlier one. Do you remember a couple of episodes or so ago we talked a bit about lions? You talked about a lion in the sewer. In Birmingham. He escaped. Yeah, some of the bits and pieces. This is from Matthew in London.

He says, Hi Luke and Pete, loving the podcasts. Quick question. If lions struggle to focus on chairs because they have four legs and it confuses them, this is something you mentioned before

and we talked about how the reason a lion tamer uses a chair is because there's four... to sort of look at and the lion gets confused by it matthew asks does this mean that if an antelope sat on its ass and pointed all four legs at the lion the lion wouldn't know what to do it's an interesting tactic is he saying that antelopes look like chairs are you saying there are four points of interest on an antelope well if the antelope lied either on its side or sat down and put its four hooves, talk about hooves again here, into the face of the lion, the lion wouldn't know what to do.

I mean, a risky tactic at the best of times. Good luck explaining that to an antelope. But it's an interesting point, isn't it? Maybe that'll be their next evolutionary step. They will look more and more like Ikea's finest chairs. And you'll just have, instead of marauding across the savannah,

you'll just see a load of them sat there creaking. With their legs out. That'd be odd, wouldn't it? It would look like a showroom. Rack and bock and, rack and bock and forth.

Rock and back and forth. It's been a long week. Rack and bock and forth. Rack and bock of glory. That's the only one I've got. What have you got? Is that the only one you've got? Wow, okay.

Well, I piped out one earlier before we came on out. You told me to save it. Alright, save it! Okay, I will. Save it for next time or something. Graham Hollingsworth tweeted actually, hello Luke and Pete show. If you want to get in touch by the way, it's at Luke and Pete show. And hello at Luke

and Pete show.com. Yes, and hello at Luke and Pete show.com. After North Korea's threats to nuke Guam, I thought you'd like to know what it would look like if they set off a nuke in Guam. Because remember we had, a few weeks ago, we had those different, that computer simulation that would basically show you on a map.

I think that was last week, Peter. Was that last week? I think so, yeah. You know. I can't remember. Who's the guy you mind about this? Graham. You're contributing to the problem here, Graham.

The last thing we need is simulations of it actually happening. You know what? That website's crashed today for obvious bloody reasons. What? People listen to our show? But Guam always reminds me of, apologies if I told this story, but Guam always reminds me of being at Ground Zero at Hiroshima. I might have even told this on this podcast,

the bloke from Guam. No. And his horrible marine friend. I don't think so. He was drinking like an energy drink at like 11 o'clock in the morning, like a vodka energy drink. Right.

And he basically recommended, and in his words, a titty bar. Oh, you did say this. At Ground Zero. There's a... This is my friend from Guam. We're going to the titty bar when we go to Osaka. This is Ground zero, mate.

You have a bit of respect. You dropped a fucking bomb, eh, mate? There's a huge amount of military personnel based in Guam, I think. Yeah. They've actually got, I think you get automatic US citizen rights if you're born there, but it's not recognised as state or anything. Right, okay. But I think it's got a legislature and all that sort of stuff.

And if you're born there, I think you are a citizen. So it is technically, I think, US sort of um what they call it sort of sovereign soil so yeah um but yeah we don't need people simulating it thank you very much yeah no more simulations thank you graham not in today's uh heightened and straightened circumstances thank you very much they'll probably blow over by next week yeah we'll probably be fine i mean the word blow we don't we don't really need to we what was they we what is it they say on the show on the day just go for a pint of the Winchester

and wait for the whole thing to blow over hello to Sam Blakely from Leeds he's an A level psychology teacher I mean Sam

Sam could be a girl I guess couldn't it but I'm erring on the side of Sam says a lot about your psychology that assuming it's a man well we're at

offshoot of a football podcast and chances are, we've been to live shows where we've done live shows, and it is 99% male. So, you know. As an A-level psychology teacher, and also a girl's... Can't be teachers. It's been great hearing you talk over the last couple of shows

about some of the more fascinating psychological conditions out there. Prosopagnosia and also synesthesia. Yes, we talked about that. Prosopagnosia and also synesthesia. Yes, we talked about that. Prosopagnosia is suffered by Duncan Bantine. Synesthesia is suffered by a lot of famous people we talked about last week. They can smell colours? Or they fuck colours?

What? No, you're right. That's exactly what it is. I thought I'd share with you my favourite, Cotard's Syndrome. To borrow from Wikipedia, this is where the affected persons who have Cotard, I put up a picture that says Cotard,

like Marion Cotard. Cotillard? Cotillard? Yeah. Cotard. You're okay, mate. Yeah, I just want to say Cotard a bit more. Basically, the affected person holds the delusional belief

that they are already dead, do not exist, are putrefying, or have lost their blood or internal organs. Jesus. I mean, that's a dark thing to go through. Yeah. Imagine that. Essentially, thing to go through yeah imagine that

essentially people with this rare issue believe that they are already dead and they can't be convinced otherwise often sufferers die of starvation because they don't believe that they need to eat it's baffling and very rare so it hasn't been included in the latest dsm or icd which are the guidelines that professionals use to categorize and diagnose all non-mental illnesses another reason it's not included as it might be a combination or variation of other conditions, like schizophrenia. But the idea that you think that your insides have already putrefied. Yeah, it's not great.

It's not great, but it's just interesting. Like, where the heck does that come from? On that guide, the references there, I forget the acronym, that's talked about quite interestingly, actually, in a decent amount of depth by John Ronson in the book The Psychopath Test I think it's that one I've read a few of his

I think it's that one probably a good chance of that and he said I think I'm right in saying here and people always correct me when I'm wrong

which I regularly am so apologies in advance but I think I'm right in saying that book was essentially standardised in around the 50s or 60s

where a lot of experimental stuff was happening and he seems to intimate in that book or at least imply that a load of the so and he seems to intimate in that book or at least imply that a load of the so-called mental disorders that exist in that book

and are part of the sort of pantheon of or canon of recognised psychological disorders probably aren't real anyway. Right, okay. So I think there's only a few that are genuine psychological disorders and the really specialist ones he makes out actually aren't real anyway.

Right, or they're a mixture of a few different ones. Yeah, there's not a big enough sample size,'s not enough people to suffer that's that sort of stuff yeah and also because um it's either the psychopath test or the or the men that stare at goats one of those i forget which one but he talks a bit about how how weird and out there sort of those psychological type ideas were in that period of time yeah in the minister it goes he talks a bit about um a u.s army colonel who genuinely thought he could walk through a wall and stuff because he thought, well, I'm just not concentrating hard enough. That sort of idea that we're on the cusp of quite a lot of scientific discovery

but not quite there yet, and so it lets us have all these mad ideas. I think it's part of that as well. And also when these sort of things got standardised back in the 50s, I presume that psychologists would hear about them, misdiagnose or talk about it with someone who's suffering something dissimilar or similar. And that would kind of create more people showing symptoms because at the end of the day,

we're very suggestible creatures. Exactly, placebo effect as well. To be fair though, Pete, I have seen you come very close to your insides putrefying on more than one occasion in a weekend away and I'm sure you make allies as well. I know.

I mean, mainly thanks to John Smith. That's the main problem. I smell like I'm putrefying most weeks. Let there be justice for all. Let there be peace for all. It's one small step for man. You don't understand Willie was a salesman

Still got emails about that Very simply With hope Good morning Cut off the end again I'm never going to cut it off That Maya Angelou thing We started the show

11 episodes ago now We had Maya Angelou saying that we went through the whole thing, we started the show, obviously 11 episodes ago now, and we had Maya Angelou saying that, at the end of the Menkata jingle, and we didn't know who it was, and we found out who it was. Yeah, you said it was, you thought it was a man,

then we found out it was Maya Angelou, and hilarity ensued. We've gone back in, again, because, we've taken a few steps back again, it seems, because on Twitter,

earlier today, I saw one of our followers, I forget who it was, say, to me it sounds just like Eddie Murphy. Where did that come from? I don't know, I I forget who it was say to me it sounds just like Eddie Murphy where did that come from I don't know I was listening to it and thinking

I wonder if he's right because I haven't heard it since I read that he's not he doesn't sound like anything like Eddie Murphy no Men Carter is though

we're bringing things of interest if you like into our own men's cyclopedia I guess what have you got Peter two men in a room

trying to build their own encyclopedia at least half our clothes on you got, Peter? Two men in a room trying to build their own encyclopedia. At least half our clothes on. Well, it kind of links with something I spoke about earlier on, and we both spoke about earlier on. I'm afraid... Well, actually,

I'm not going to tell you what it's about. I'll just start, basically. I read about this guy, fascinating chap, called Ramon... I'm going to have problems with his... I might just call him Mr. Ramon, but his second name is Atagavetia.

Atagavetia. If you want him in the encyclopedia, you've got to be able to say his name. He's from Uruguay. Okay. From Monty's video. I've never heard of it. Ramon Atagavetia.

Mr. Ramon. Basically, on the 24th of December, 1871, Ramon survived a fire and sinking of the ship America. Close to the shore of Punta Espanola in Uruguay, newspapers reported that the America had been racing another ship into Montevideo harbour and high boiler pressures led to a fire. There were 114 first class, 20 second class and 30 popular class. That's presumably an apocryphal title for the poor people. It's a nice euphemistic name for that. Only 65 passengers survived, but Ramon

was one of them. He escaped by jumping into the sea and swimming for his life. Many of the passengers were horribly burned, and the episode obviously left Ramon emotionally scarred. On April 10th, 1912, Mr. Articavitia boarded another ship. Titanic?

The Titanic. Huh. So, on February the 9th, two months before sailing on the Titanic, Ramon wrote to his cousin, Enrique, showing his hope

for a successful crossing. Obviously, this guy is really upset about the idea of getting on another boat. I like his, I admire his chutzpah. I like his moxie.

Getting back on the horse. Yeah. At last, at last, I will be able to travel and above all, I will be able to sleep calm. The singing of the horse. Yeah. At last, at last I will be able to travel, and above all, I will be able to sleep calm. The singing of the America was terrible.

Nightmares keep tormenting me. Even in those quiet trips, I wake up in the middle of the night with terrible nightmares and always hearing the same fateful word, fire, fire, fire. I've even got to the point where I find myself standing in the deck with my life belt on. So he's been on boats before, like in between these two happenings.

But in the same letter, he expressed his faith in the new system of the communication, the wireless telegraph. I'd be interested to know how he came to be in Southampton, where of course... Yeah.

I mean, I presume he made some sort of crossing from Uruguay, I suppose, because that's where that sunk in 1871. Basically, he spoke how well he says you can't imagine Enrique the security the telegraph gives when the America sank

right in front of the port nobody answered the lights asking for help no one you know could help us the ones that saw us from the ship

Villa del Santo did not answer to our light signals now with a telephone on board that won't happen again we can communicate instantly with the whole world. I mean, this is 41 years later.

I know! So he's been through the mill this chap. He's been through the mill. He boarded the Titanic in Cherbourg. I'm not really sure where that is, but on April 10th, 1912 his cabin number remains a mystery. Cherbourg's in France? Right, okay. So it carried on. Macedon. Yeah. Anyway, the cabin number remains a mystery

and it was never designated on the statement of assignment list, found in the pocket of Stuart Herbert Cave, whose body was later recovered, and little is known about Ramon during the voyage. Apparently, on the 11th of April, he wrote to his friend Adolfo, I closed my eyes and went on board this huge ship. One of the carriers took my suitcase and brought it to the third floor.

We went to the dining room. On the 12th, I went through all the corridors to see all the rooms. Some of the furniture was made of tree. The green chairs were very nice. Now I can see Ireland, and now I'm finished writing this letter. And on the night of the sinking, he was observed on deck with two fellow Uruguayans, just basically having a chat, and he was apparently getting a little bit worried about the situation that was unfolding,

and the other two Uruguayan guys were just kind of laughing at him a little bit worried about the situation that was unfolding. And the other two Uruguayan guys were just kind of laughing at him a little bit. There were two gentlemen, one on either side, leaning against the balustrade and from outward appearance looked more dead than alive. And basically, from reports, this guy basically passed away. So Mr. Ramon and friends were lost in the sinking, unfortunately. His body was pulled from the North Atlantic by the Maycare Bennett and the recovery vessel chartered by the White Star Line. That's what that was.

It's an interesting dynamic, the idea of him sort of being concerned because he'd been in this sinking before and the other people laughing about it because, of course, everyone thought the Titanic was unsinkable. So that would have given him this false sense of security and all that other stuff. Wow, incredible story, that. Incredible, really.

And, well, that brings me on to another favourite subject of mine, Japan. But, unfortunately, this is about the two bombs that went off. On March the 24th, 2009, the Japanese government officially recognised Tsutomu Yamaguchi as a double Niju Hibakusha, which is a... Hibakusha is a person who survived, I think it is,

just the two nuclear bombs. Yeah, I think we talked about this before, yeah. Oh, yeah, but Niju, he survived both of them. Wow. But I've got more information about him now. So, Tsutomi Yamaguchi-san, the first officially recognised survivor

of both atomic blasts in Japan. The first, and apparently he's not the only one. There was about 100 other ones. Basically, he was confirmed to be three kilometers from ground zero in hiroshima on a business trip when the little boy was detonated yamaguchi recalls seeing a bomber and two parachutes and then a great flash in the sky uh ruptured both his eardrums blinded him temporarily and left him with serious burns after regaining his sense he crawled to a shelter to rest after he set out to find business colleagues

before returning to Nagasaki the following day. In Nagasaki, he received treatment for his wounds and despite being heavily bandaged, he reported for work on August 9th, the day that Fat Man was dropped on his town. Ironically enough, that morning, Yamaguchi was describing the atomic blast in Hiroshima to his co-workers when Fat Man exploded over Nagasaki,

about three kilometres away. Again, he was unhurt by the immediate explosion but yamaguchi did suffer radiation fallout when searching for friends and relatives but what i didn't know is that um in japan there is considerable discrimination in japan against people who've survived who survived the bombings basically because uh they presumeed that they might catch the radiation poisoning, that it might be hereditary, and all this stuff. And they're not only the Hippocutia, but the children are refused employment. That's terrible.

So they keep the secret that they went through this horrible situation. Do you remember when we talked about the guy who got struck by lightning seven times and no one would go near him because they were worried they were going to get hit as well? That's mad. Similar sort of nonsense, really, isn't it? Going back to that Titanic thing with our man Mr. Ramon, there's a great book about the sinking of the Lusitania called Dead Wake, written by Eric Larson.

Eric Larson's brilliant. He writes historical accounts of things that have actually happened, but he writes it as like a novel. Right. It's absolutely brilliant. It talks all about, it tells it from the point of view of several passengers on the Lusitania,

which of course was sunk, which brought the US into the war. And he tells it from the point of view of the U-boat commander as well. It's fascinating. It just reminded me of that. He also wrote

The Devil in the White City, which is brilliant about the Chicago World's Fair and the serial killer existing in the same town. It's cool. Anyway. Good, good.

I just want to get it off my chest while I've got it there. Well, fantastic stuff. Well, let's round off the show. If you want to get in off my chest while I've got it there well fantastic stuff well let's round off the show if you want to get in touch as always hello at I sometimes get this wrong don't I yeah

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