The Luke and Pete Show - Episode 111: Two frogs in a sock

Episode Date: October 29, 2018

Did you know the number 111 is unlucky in cricket? You do now. We talk about that on this episode, and lots more. Lots more like:- Eating raw chicken out of politeness- Interviewing Hans Zimmer but forgetting to press record- The finest double agent of the Second World WarListen in to hear Luke and Pete, like two frogs in a sock, wrestle their way through half an hour of unplanned nonsense. You won't regret it![e-mail] is where you get in touch. Come on, don't be shy...***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

1-1-1, the supposedly cursed number in cricket, also known as Nelson. Seen as unlucky perhaps because the number when written out depicts a set of wickets without bales on. And called Nelson Pete because Lord Nelson allegedly lost one eye, one arm and one something else. Use your imagination. Cock! Yeah, but like most things on this show, that's pure myth. Welcome to episode

111-111 of the Luke and Pete Show. Somebody used his time responsibly. The time in which you took... I was late, basically, and I'm flustered, and I'm on holiday tomorrow, and I was at the QO's last night,

so I'm a bit hungover. Everything's going off. Yes, it is. Like a frog in a sock, Luke. It is. But you used your time responsibly and came up with some fantastic facts about the number 111.

Take a moment to think about and fully, roundly appreciate the vision of a frog in a sock. Yeah. It's mad. It doesn't belong there. I don't think it's ever happened. I never heard that phrase before. Frog in a sock. No.

Because he would go off, wouldn't he? He'd be like, why I in this this cotton jail cell I didn't say cotton it doesn't have to be cotton it could be anything it could be a Veruca sock hey it's just reminded me

have you been I think it's about to finish by the time this show comes out it would have finished but it's probably available on iPlayer right Autumn Watch New England

no obviously a place quite close to my heart but Autumn Watch is a great show anyway I'd recommend it but this year they've gone out to New England. No. Obviously a place quite close to my heart, but Autumn Watch is a great show anyway. I'd recommend it. But this year they've gone out to New England and they're based in a forest in,

I think, New Hampshire. Beautiful. Oh, mate, it is absolutely stunning. There's nowhere more beautiful in the world than New England at autumn. Some of the animals there are incredible. They're recovering moose. They're recovering from the tiniest little salamander

neurotoxins in its skin all that kind of stuff all the way up to the biggest moose fantastic television really good there was a little girl on the way in

because we obviously walk across I don't know what that park's called Highbury Fields is it Highbury Fields is it yeah

I thought that was Highbury I'm thinking of Hackney Marsh that's completely mixed up that's in Hackney that was hybrid. Well, I'm thinking of Hackney Marsh, aren't I? I thought it was completely mixed up. That's in Hackney. Ah, yeah.

That was the first clue, wasn't it? Were you thinking of Sherwood Forest? I was walking through that and a little girl was picking up... We were at the time where big old leaves had fallen off the trees. She was picking up and going, look, mum, a leaf. And she went, yep.

And then she was picking up another one. She went, look, another one. And she needs to explain to that child what autumn is. Otherwise, her days are going to be rather long. We're going to be here all day. Recently on the Luke and Pete show, kids drinking mystery energy drinks in car parks. Pete escorted a woman around central London

looking for a chicken mask. Oh, yeah. Yeah, of course. Don't forget that. Lies from parents about fig rolls and beer. And Pete sat over there to my left, also had quite the sexy dream. Oh, yeah. I did have a sexy dream.

I had sex with a man. Yeah. Say that again, but slower so people get it. I had a sexy dream. I was having sex with a man. There we go. Not unenjoyable, as I imagine the gay chaps already know. They're like, Pete, you're preaching to the choir here, mate.

You're preaching to the queer here. Yeah, exactly. Good stuff. What else is new with you, Peter? Not a lot. Can I just check? I did the QR yesterday. I went on stage and I gave a best solo male to Mr. Noel Gallagher.

Right. And I was joined by a much more famous man than me, Mr. Liam Frey from the Cortinas. I genuinely couldn't pick him out of a lineup. He's very tall, but he was considerably further away from the stage than me. So I arrived on stage a lot sooner. So I had to fill for a full minute in front of such visionaries

as Bono and the Modfather and Jarvis Cocker as well. A personal favourite. I think regular listeners of this show will know all too well what you opened with.

What do you mean? Goodness me! Did that make an appearance? No. There was a Honda motorbike suspended from the ceiling and I shouted, I'm going to drop the motorbike! Where was this?

I didn't get on the stage. Where was this awards ceremony taking place? 1996? Can I just confirm, and this is a bit of a personal admin between you and I, but I think it's only fair that our confidants, our listeners, hear this as well. Yes, I was wearing a ravavishing Recruit t-shirt.

Were you really? Yeah, I was. Okay, I wasn't going to ask. When we had a little bit of back and forth on WhatsApp yesterday about the time we were going to come in and record today, and you gave a couple of excuses why you couldn't come in at the normal time. Excuses? Just a couple of reasons why you couldn't come in at the normal time.

Were those reasons true, or was it just that you knew you were going to have a late night so you wanted to come in later? No, because the QODs actually starts at like four o'clock. Oh, okay. I was actually tucked up in bed quite early. Oh, okay. But I did get pissed. So the reasons were legitimate?

They were. Well, I'm away tomorrow so I've got to just record an entire week's worth of definitely live, absolutely radio 90s. Okay, that is live. Definitely live. That is live. That is coming live. That one is coming live at you.

Live and electric live and dangerous in the words of I think Phil Linnett a late great Phil Linnett of of Thin Lizzy

Thin Lizzy I wish he was still around and I wish Mark Borland was still around and I wish hit

no no still around and I wish hit music by them would still be being made. Speaking of, you were sort of making a bit of a joke about Adolf Hitler there. I was.

And I am going to bring something else to the table right now because I just thought about it. I'm in the middle of reading some of the books of Ben McIntyre, who, and the two I've read so far are The Spy and the Traitor about Oleg Golievsky, the double agent in the Cold War. Nice.

And more recently, Agent Zigzag about, frankly, astonishing story about a guy called Eddie Chapman who served as a double agent

in Britain and Germany during the Second World War. Right. It is incredible. I'd recommend it. I don't want to give too much away because I don't want you guys to be spoiled if you're going to go and read it. If you've already read it, you'll know exactly what I mean.

If you haven't, do check those books out by Ben McIntyre, Agent Zigzag and The Spy and the Traitor. Agent Zigzag, I mean, without trying to give anything away, features just the most astonishing stuff that happened during the Second World War. You know what I felt like to me is, really, the stakes had never been higher during the second world war you know you know what i felt like to me is really the stakes were had never been higher during the second world war so they were what what what what that this book makes out is that the authorities in the uk who probably until that point were seen or thought of as stuffy and a little bit do things by the book play by the rules blah blah blah

were just open to doing the most resourceful, out there, left field business you could ever think of. And at one point in that book, they have to stage the bombing and destruction of a massive aircraft factory. So the Germans fly over, see it, and think it's been destroyed, but in fact it hasn't. So MI5 grabbed this magician, literally like a West End magician,

and say, if you were going to do that how would you make it look like and they just do it how do they do it and then they go and brief the local newspapers or the big newspapers and say

can you please put a story in your newspaper and some of the newspaper some of the editors won't do it because no no this is against my integrity we can't

fake news 70 years ahead of fake news how do they do it it involves a lot of that's the war spirit isn't it yeah literally killing

people on the streets no but that's why they didn't want to do it because they thought that it would be detrimental to morale for reporting that something had been

blown up of strategic importance when it had it to the British people but anyway that's a slightly different story how they did it

involved and you really should read the book, but a lot of tarpaulin painted, a lot of rubble brought in from elsewhere, a lot of other props and lots of different bits and pieces. So the actual body of the actual hangers were there, the actual buildings were there, but they just kind of put a lot of rubble around. Yeah, yeah.

It's mad. And apparently it worked. Was it like when Ian Beale turned up as a tramp? Similar. Like, it was utterly unconvincing, but from a distance, yeah, he's gone off the rails. Good work, yeah.

Similar, yeah. The book Agent Zigzag starts with the guy in question, the sort of protagonist, as it were, or, you know, part-time antagonist, having lunch in a hotel in Jersey with a woman, this is in about in Jersey with a woman, this is in about 1939,

with a woman who isn't his wife, glancing over, seeing three members of the constabulary walking in looking for him and just saying to the woman, I have to leave now, but I will be back and throwing himself out of a window

and just legging it down the beach. Yes. Never to be seen again. The most exciting thing that's ever happened in Jersey. Brilliant story. The great Eddie Chapman, Agent Zigzag by Ben McIntyre

is a book well worth reading. You can probably pick it up for a quid from a second-hand bookshop or something. I'm reading a book about the Second World War and basically it's just

a load of American servicemen and British servicemen eating eggs in Italy. Right. And drinking wine. Okay. Sounds a bit like A Farewell to Arms

or That's the First World War by Hemingway. There we go. There we go. So Pete, anything else happening? Any sort of highlights from the Q Awards?

I noticed you spending a bit of time with Richard Ashcroft formerly of The Verve recently. I had a stinking interview with Richard Ashcroft. Was it worse than the one

with Hans Zimmer where for 20 minutes you knew it wasn't recording but you couldn't tell Hans let's forget I mentioned that that that was an off-air

conversation now well it's literally an off-air conversation press record yes I did once I did it did once Hans Zimmer and I forgot to forgot to press

record so at the end like so halfway through I realized it was wasn't recording but we'd only sort of got through the main points that he needed to get across but but I love the idea so at the end so halfway through I realised it wasn't recording but we'd only sort of got through the main points

that he needed to get across but I love the idea that Hans Zimmer is somewhere hopefully if all the things are equal

he now sees you as his harshest critic I had an interview with this guy from Absolute Radio didn't put any of it out he must have been gutted with me

he must really not rate my stuff I'm usually pretty good as well I think I can only remember twice you know I've been doing a lot of interviews and i think only twice i've messed up um personally uh one i just turned up without um i think a dat tip to an interview with borat but luckily um a lad from capital lent me his microphone uh which had an internal recording

device in it. It's so boring. But what I liked about the Borat interview is, with those interviews, if you're an interviewer like Partridge or Borat, those kind of character comedians... Do they stay in character the whole time? Yeah, they do.

And you have to submit questions beforehand so they can respond, they can pre-write answers, basically. Right. So they don't want to go off on one and just sound shit. They want to do gags, basically. But Borat...

I assume comedians wanted that anyway, no? No, no. Everyone else is fine. But if you're a character, you're a character. And you've got to kind of keep in character. Because I've done Coogan out of character. And I've done... I think I've done...

No, I've not done... It doesn't matter. So I'm going to Borat. And Borat can't help but notice that I've got like a northern accent. So he starts to break out and kind of gets himself into circles a little bit going,

what is your voice like that? Why do you sound like that? You sound like a crazy person. Ha ha ha. Yeah. But his jokes... Ha ha ha. But his jokes

aren't sort of good enough. They aren't as good as the other ones because he's just kind of like, oh, this guy's a joker. Let's have fun. Did you use it all? Yeah, I used it all.

Yeah, I quite liked it. Tell me about Richard Ashcroft. He turned up and bless him, drove himself in, spent loads of time with the fans that he was on,

really, really good form with everyone. And I tell you what, never been a fan of the Verve. In fact, some of his songs I actively dislike, but his voice is sounding

bloody great. His voice is incredible, isn't it? Yeah, it really is. I remember going, my ex-girlfriend used to work for EMI

and she got us a couple of tickets to go and see Coldplay at Earl's Court I'd take or leave Coldplay but I thought it'd be a

good thing to go to so we went along it was about 10 years ago and they were supported by Richard Ashcroft and we got there

early and Ashcroft came out I think it was Earl's Court and Ashcroft was just him and an acoustic guitar. And his voice was absolutely unbelievable. I remember turning to my ex-girlfriend at the time and saying,

it's a massive gamble by Coldplay getting him to do that. Because there's no way Chris Martin's voice is anywhere near as good as that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they were good as well. But I mean, I always remember how good his voice was.

It was absolutely unreal. And one of the things that's fascinating about that is, you know, we sometimes, not very often, obviously, but sometimes we have conversations about the fact that, you know, we speak a lot because of our job and we have to look after our voices, especially as we get older. And you know for a fact that Rish Ashcroft

is just piling beers and cigarettes down and singing, and he's much older than us. So his voice is still fine. Yeah, no, he's skinny, isn't he? He's really skinny. Well, he was very, when it got to the interview part, he was really angry. He'd had a week of it.

I think the reviews had just come out for his album, which I couldn't find a complimentary one, to be quite frank, even though, to be honest, there's a couple of songs on there, pretty decent. And I think when one critic piles on someone, everybody piles on. So he'd had a morning of that, I think. Leanne had been speaking about marginalised groups

and BME musicians who just don't get a chance, don't get a fair crack of the whip, etc. And called out Richard Ashcroft just by random. And Richard Ashcroft was like, he was just so angry and he was just on send, but just shouting about how, you know, different radio stations won't play his music and blah, blah, blah.

He used words like, there's an apartheid on older artists. And I was thinking, you can't fucking use that, apartheid. No. Like, I don't necessarily remember him, you know, talking about him talking about, again, marginalised groups when he was very much a part of the conversation

in the 90s, was he? No. He wasn't a kind of proponent of that. But he was on so much send, he was shouting, shouting, shouting, shouting. And I was like, this isn't going to be the interview where I sit back and go, yeah, fine, let's talk about something else. Because whatever I say is going to sound like a bit of a gear change, a pace change, a vault fast.

And I sort of went, well, I think what Liliana was trying to say is that, you know, some groups are marginalized and they don't get a fair crack at them. No, she fucking wasn't. She was fucking selling a book. And he just refused to talk to me after that. Really? And I was like, well, if you're going to just send, send, send and talk absolute shit at certain points, it's a conversation you know what i mean however

however angry you might be it's a conversation i think i was trying to clarify what leon's points were and he was like fucking that's really interesting as well because i haven't heard that interview but i saw an interview rich ashcroft the other day with um gordon smart of xfm and it was an awful interview I mean Gordon Smart just sits there going spot on yeah spot on

yeah yeah spot on a lot of people do that you do a bit of that sometimes yeah mostly but Richard Ashcroft's main point was that no one wants to hear singers making political points

yeah yeah here we are well his last album was all about you know putting up a mirror to society

and revolution and stuff and now it's just about love songs. I think it was probably about sticking it to the man, Peter. Yeah, like all great rock records. He was very angry about that little plastic baggie falling out of his jeans on Soccer AM. Oh, he was angry about that. The less about that, the better, yeah.

People have been photoshopping things coming out of my shoes. And I'm like... I'm like, do you know what photoshop looks like? That doesn't sound like what someone on drugs would say. I mean, something did fall off your shoes, mate. I think that just about wraps up our Richard Ashcroft news section. Yeah, a little bit of our end. So should we have a little break and go to some emails, Peter? All right, then.

Love you. These have been moved around. She's going to report me for saying bugger, you know. Oh, just wait till I see your mother. You're in real trouble. Oh, I say, wait till I go and see her. Then tell her this bugger-shaped, fuck-shaped, fucking sphincter.

Love that. What a welcome return. For the great man himself. What a fucking ledge. Sphincter. Where's that come from? It's not even a swear word. Hello at LukeandPeteShow.com to send us all your stories

about Richard Ashcroft Brian Blessed or anything else you want us to talk about Yeah Do some of the heavy lifting because Pete sometimes is hungover

sometimes he's tired sometimes he's got nothing to say Although you are dressed a bit like Danny Zuko from Grease today Pete if you don't mind me saying I think that's fair Yeah

Washed hair So tell me more tell me more, tell me more. Have you got any emails? I have, yeah. Actually, the email that came in about 47 minutes ago from Alas, a woman, a professional who basically asked about she works for an audio production company.

That's the name of her book, Alas, a woman, a professional. She's worked for an audio production company. We have recently signed with a UK tour promoter do you fancy doing some

Luke and Pete live shows now she works for an organisation that I call my voiceover agency who is this Pete Donaldson

I mean because he seems quite good where can we get him she says I really like the Luke and Pete show yeah you represent one of the fuckers listen I mean because he seems quite good where can we get him she says I really like the little Pete shot yeah

you represent one of the fuckers listen I've called a meeting here today because at all costs I want you to get me the head of Pete Donaldson as soon as possible yes

any questions at the back yeah he works in the ex-office yeah he's just like cool now you've represented him since 2009 yeah

take it up with him and it is exactly 2009 when they took me on Take it up with them. And it is exactly 2009. Is it? When they took me on, yeah. Take it up with them, Pete, because that, for me, is unprofessional. I think there might be a reason

why I've not got any voiceover for the last five years for this organisation. Not very joined up. Reply back saying, why is Chris fucking Finch from The Office getting all my work?

Is it because you don't even know you represent me? I'm sure she's from a different part of the organisation and she maybe just didn't mention that we had a relationship. I've just seen the email at the bottom. P.S. Can I still have the 15%? Don't back out of it now.

I think it's unfair. Alex Williamson. Hello, gents. I love the show. I saw Mr. Moore on the Victorian line at Green Park today while listening to this week's show. Very meta. Oh, yeah, he did.

I reckon I remember this, yeah. Spooky, isn't it? Did he just hold up his phone and just go, ew? He didn't hold his phone up, and I've no idea what he's about to say because I've not seen the email, but I will... You let off a big guff, apparently.

I'm joking. I pumped right in his face. No, is that... Somebody was photoshopping... A young man is a big fan of Chuck Berry. He was photoshopping a picture of Chuck Berry for the radio station. I said, ha ha, he pumped in a woman's face once.

And he went, what? And he was unaware of the Chuck Berry sex tape and the fact that he used to film women. Cameras in the toilets and all that. Yeah, cameras in the toilets. I mean, we'll say that. He was shocked. Yeah, well, I can imagine.

To his very core. Chuck Berry's a... And he's gone, how did you see Chuck Berry fart in the face of a sex worker? And I said, he filmed it, and it's on the internet. But you are part internet, so you're going to know that much better than him.

Going back to this guy on the Victoria Line, what was his name? Alex. Alex, so this was actually yesterday. There were huge problems. This is yesterday, the Manic Street Preachers. There were huge problems on the lines. Is Paddington still fixed? Do you want to hear the story or not? No. I was on the Victoria line and there was a lot of issues

and I was stuck in the tunnel for ages. As a result, the Victoria line was rammed. It was like shoulder to shoulder. I'm standing on one end of a carriage or in the middle of a carriage and this chap is standing in the other end of the carriage

and there's probably about 10 people between us. And I look around, catch his eye and he sort of does the thing that... Licks his lips you've experienced it before people who know the ramble

they'll get a recognition and he looked and he nodded and he smiled and he looked like he was about to say something and I thought this ain't happening

I'm not doing this here so I just walked off I was getting off the train anyway so I left so that's probably the guy that you're talking about there I am a man who doesn't remember faces

very well. So whenever anybody comes over and says hello, I'm fucking paranoid I've met them before. Always paranoid. It really scares me. But I think that's a general rule when you see someone anyway. If someone comes up to you, regardless of whatever the context is,

in a work environment or social environment, just pretend you've met them before. What bad can come from that? They'll either think you're really friendly or you have met them before. What bad can come from that? They'll either think you're really friendly or you have met them before. It's a win-win. No, but you have to, there's a difference between

a place to meet you. What's the get out clause? Which one do you use? Great to see you. Great to see you. Yeah. Good to see you. What's wrong with that?

I don't know. To be honest, Luke, I don't like deception. Pete, although people listening to this will be stunned to hear this, I am better socially than you, though. So that's probably why I find it easier. You are, but I am more of a crowd pleaser, so I go above and beyond.

And you're more handsome. And you've got better guns. Goodness me! What's this guy saying? It's inspired me to finally email over an amusing story. I like just seeing you on a trend. About two years ago, I was out on a football team night out. Oi, oi, let's have a lager or two.

Sorry, Pete, can I just confirm? Were they lads or hashtag lads? I don't know, but I imagine hashtag Jäger was involved at one point. Down it, down it, down it. In transit between bars, plastered me, thought it would be clever to run around. In transit. In transit. In transit.

Between bars, plastered me, thought it would be clever to run around a huge revolving door at the front of a swanky office building to see how fast it could go. Which I quite like. Yeah. You can probably work out where this is going. I managed to get up some decent speed until a security guard at the front desk realised what was going on and ran over shouting at me to stop. Like, just, what I like about this is, I mean, they don't usually have revolving doors at night. at the front desk realised what was going on and ran over shouting at me to stop flight just what life like this is

I mean they don't usually have revolving doors at night so this is like kind of early evening it sounds like yeah they normally lock them

don't they yeah so flight took over any sort of fight instinct I might have had I mean what kind of fight can you have in a revolving door

with a security guard I don't know but I tried to jump out only my lower arm made it and i've not seen it since yeah and the door slammed on it which somehow shattered not just that panel but all of them leaving me standing there covered in glass and disbelief luckily the security guard was stood in shock for even longer than me which allowed me to run off my arm other than huge bruise was fine which sounds really surprising i mean maybe it's just like

safety glass that has to crack rather than cause any problems. And it's stuff that shatters into tiny pieces that doesn't cut anyone. No, I mean, but just trapping your arm in a door. Not breaking it off. Snappagate, excuse me. Two weeks later, on the first day of a new job, I leave the office almost having

forgotten about the entire incident and find a voice message left from an officer at an Islington police station wanting to discuss an they found me. That's great police work, that, isn't it? Isn't that incredible? I'm going to arrest him. I'll give him the heads up first. God knows how they found me. He might abscond.

But I went to the station as soon as I could to see what they had. Oh, gross. As it turns out, they had the whole thing pretty much in HD quality. Apparently, it was 15 grand's worth of damage. they had the whole thing pretty much in HD quality. Apparently, it was 15 grand's worth of damage. Wow. I massively grovelled in the car but probably felt

a little bit sorry for me. As the damage was covered by insurance, I somehow got away with a community resolution which involved writing a letter of apology to the building landlords

which didn't amount to much more than an in-betweener style. Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. Is that how you deliver that? I don't know. Sorry. Oh, sorry.

Sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm very sorry. I'm really sorry like that? I don't know. Sorry. Oh, sorry. Sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm very sorry. I'm really sorry like that. Not very proud of it, but I hope you deem this to be content for the show. I haven't been able to go near revolving doors, patio doors,

or any kind of pain of glass without people joke, panicking, and shouting at me to steer clear. Alex in South London. A great story. And yeah, pretty incredible. Speaking of community policing, what was that in the WhatsApp group about somebody sort of deleted a tweet?

There was a police force deleted a tweet basically saying that a man had stabbed himself. Like he was like, basically the victim is in custody. He's been found with two stab wounds. He is the only... Suspect. He's the only suspect

in the case. It's like, what? Right, yeah. And then they deleted it realising that it was nonsense. What's the name of that emailer?

Who's Alex? If I'd known that about Alex at the time, I probably would have talked to him. Yeah. He sounds suitably entertaining. Probably got caught

in the door afterwards. Yeah. But can I just make it absolutely clear? I had no option to talk to him. It was a lot of people. got caught in the door afterwards. Can I just make it absolutely clear? I had no option to talk to him. It was a lot of people. A lot of bodies. Get out of the way.

We need to have a conversation. I had to get out of the tube and walk to my destination. That's how bad the tube was yesterday. What about this from Lisa who says, Greetings from Maryland, USA. Greetings. Recently, you read an email about someone's mum convincing their child that McDonald's

stole children to make Happy Meal toys and wondered what other lies parents convinced us were true now we've talked about parental lies

quite a lot it's a rich seam we've been mining or you the listener have been mining Lisa goes on to say when I was a kid I loved to eat corn nuts

you know what corn nuts are are they the ones that are candy corn no that's like toasted corn kernels basically oh yes like sweet corn but really hard yeah yeah You know what corn nuts are? Are they the ones that are candy corn? No, not candy corn. No, it's like toasted corn kernels, basically. Oh, yes. Like sweet corn, but really hard, yeah.

She said, I love to eat corn nuts. And my father convinced me, though, that they were actually made of horse's teeth. Oh, they do look a little bit like... But they changed the name so people wouldn't freak out about eating teeth. Because I adored my father, of course, and why wouldn't you?

I believed every word. After all, they did look like teeth, and they were quite hard and crunchy. I continued eating them, though, because I thought eating horse teeth would somehow make my teeth even stronger, as if my teeth would somehow absorb the power of a horse's jaw. And I just really like corn. They only eat grass. They never eat anything stronger than grass, do they?

Thanks for that, Lisa. I think that's quite a complicated moral maze for a child to navigate, isn't it? You like the taste of them. Yeah. You want to eat them. You accept that it's quite weird to be eating an animal's teeth, which it is. Yeah, you think maybe I'll get some strength out of it. Yeah, I would be more interested in whether she thought of French kissing a horse.

Well, I'm sure you would, Peter. Let's just remind me to go back to Autumn Watch. One thing about Autumn Watch New England which has been... Does somebody French kiss a horse? No, no.

Or a stag. But they've got a carcass cam. What? Oh, to see it all break down and stuff. So they put a carcass and like a clearing in the forest,

set up a lot of cameras and then see how it breaks down, how it deteriorates, but also what animals come along to try and feast on the carrion. Yeah. I think it was a deer. Um,

and, um, at one point this coyote comes up, starts sniffing around, having a little dig at it. Can't get any of the food or the meat, sorry,

through the, through the, um, the tough skin. Yeah. It hasn't got the meat, sorry, through the, through the, um, the tough skin. Yeah. It hasn't got the jaw, um, sort of strong enough.

I just little sniff around there. Just grabs the lower jaw of the dead deer. Yeah. Rips that off and runs away with it. Yes. I love that. I'll make a soup. Probably thinking I'll make a soup.

I'll boil that down. Oh, let's get the teeth out. Yeah. Delicious. It just made me feel a little bit odd. I don't know why. And the entire,

but it's just weird that the actual tendons are broken down so quickly that you could just remove an entire jaw like that we got a um the skin i think you just sort of snapped it off we got an email about raw chicken should i try and find it because that's just reminding me of it i read it earlier um can you just feel what i try and find it i certainly can um there was an email from somebody who, talking of teeth, Daniel Abbott sort of got in touch and said that Darth Toothman is a dentist. He was sort of saying like a nominative. Oh, yeah, I heard about that, yeah.

Les McBurney is a firefighter in America. Les McBurney. That's great. Isn't that wonderful? Gregory and Timothy Weed were two brothers there, both arrested for marijuana possession. And Stormfield is an American meteorologist. Stormfield, yeah.

That's a presenter, I think. There's a meteorologist in America called Pete Donaldson as well. There we go. Check this out from Chris Woodward. I found it now. At some point in the past, Pete, I think you were talking about in some parts of Japan, maybe they eat chicken medium cooked or something. Yeah, yeah.

Which I think is horrendous. But, excuse me. I've got a bit of a cough. Chris has got in touch and said, look, your story from a few episodes back about eating medium chicken reminded me of when I first moved to Japan. It's not Chris Broad, by the way. This guy's someone else.

I had been sent to a rural town and was keen to immerse myself in the local culture and cuisine and so I went exploring. My girlfriend and I stumbled across a lively looking izayaka. Is that like a little shop?

Izakaya. Izakaya, what is it? Oh, it's like a drinking establishment. Maybe a little bit of food as well. Well, Chris has spelt it izayaka here. Oh, maybe.

The error's on him. Maybe izayaka is a thing as well. I don't know. Anyway, Chris says not being able to understand or read Japanese. I sat down and hoped for the best.

We pointed to some random item on the menu. I imagine that's quite a regular thing to do when you're a Westerner in Japan. Kori wa. This. Right. Kori wa. Could you say this, please?

And he said, only to be presented a few minutes later with a heaping serving of raw chicken. Oh, yes, boy. He said it was enough for a small family. And I should probably point out at this point, my girlfriend is a vegetarian,

so I was on my own. It was about as appetising as you might imagine, but wanted to be polite and not offend. I gainfully had a few mouthfuls, quickly washed down with as much beer as I could

to get rid of the taste. But I couldn't get the thought out of my head, will this kill me? After eating about 15% of it, we made our excuses and sheepishly exited. But I have survived to tell the tale keep up the great great work chris i thought that that email the word gamefully there yeah i thought that email

pete and i would have been absolutely delighted if it had was going to end with and then as we were leaving we saw a little grill under the table but that wasn't it that wasn't that wasn't included the first time I went to Japan I was by myself and I a lot of the restaurants have like little kind of vending machines that vend tickets

so you you choose your thing you put your money in and it vends a little ticket and then you take that to the chef and he cooks up whatever you've selected on the wall and stuff

it's quite an efficient way of doing it I quite like it but what I didn't realize was that i'd ordered three family-sized meals and i was unfamiliar at the yen pound conversion rate right and so what the man sort of just looked at me was expecting other people to arrive uh and gamefully um gamefully um it served me three servings of just a gigantic feast.

What did you do? I googled the words uki sugiru, which is too big. And then ate one of the meals and went uki sugiru. Did you pay for all of them? Yeah, I paid for them.

How much did you pay? I don't know if you paid for them. Of course, yeah, you said. When I was in Munich with my wife a few months ago, probably six months ago now and we went to quite a nice restaurant for dinner one of the nights and my wife ordered the salmon but obviously the german um menu hadn't converted it to smoked salmon right and um she doesn't like smoked salmon she likes cooked salmon but it was like a massive plate of smoked salmon.

And she was like, oh, well, I can't really eat this. But she ate some of the stuff around it at the salad and just left a big part of smoked salmon. And the waiter came over later after I'd finished. Obviously, he couldn't really speak any English. He just went up to her, looked and went, too much? Oh. She went, yeah. Okay.

Took it away. Too smoky yeah if I was that waiter I had to pay for it so it's fine if I was that waiter that would be

I'd be straight in my mouth I imagine he got it straight down his neck straight in my mouth yeah that's perks of the job as far as I'm concerned lovely old job

there we go that's probably about enough time for episode 111 aka the Nelson yeah but we'll be back with episode 112

in just a few days time say goodbye to our lovely listeners Pete Donaldson see you later guys and it's goodbye from me as well it's been a bloody pleasure hello at LukeandPete.com

to get in touch and please tell all your friends and leave a review have some raw chicken This was a Radio Stakhanov production.