The Luke and Pete Show - Episode 118: Turtle Power

Episode Date: November 22, 2018

Luke once made up an impromptu dance to Partners in Kryme's seminal 1990 classic Turtle Power at a school disco with his mate John. There was absolutely no reason for it to happen. Meanwhile, Pete's been wandering around London looking for fences made from World War II stretchers - they're everywhere apparently.Elsewhere on this episode there's time for near death experiences, the cleaning of a cat's anal glands, Pete's one man Bread-inspired stage show, and much, much more.Got something to show off about? Don't be shy: [e-mail]***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Luke. Hello. I've got a problem, mate. Oh, God. I've decided to start micro-dosing. Oh, yeah? And right now? Yeah, I'm off my nut. I mean, I'm not taking, like...

Because it's like LSD, isn't it, that people do? Or a tiny mushroom. They take a tiny bit of, like, because it's like LSD, isn't it, that people do? Or a tiny mushroom. They take a tiny bit of like kind of psychoactive substances, don't they, in the morning, and it helps them sort of be more productive through the day. But I've been drinking a pint of beer every morning. Oh, right. And I keep falling.

Like your mate Matt, but even less healthy. He's hoping people don't micro-dose this show, Pete. Yeah, listen to them all. Episode one, one, whatever, of the Luke and Pete show, that's the Pete Donaldson over there. Micro-dosing Donaldson, they call him. I smell like beer. Pete the Dose Donaldson. Pete the Dose Donnie.

And I am the Luke in this situation. Thank you very much for joining us. If it's your first time here and you're starting on this episode, you're very welcome. Take your top off, I want to show you where the lungs are. Yeah, hardly any of it will make sense. Last time around, we left you Pete being let's say molested by a member

of the church straight up touching up but you also mentioned at the back end of that and I think this is where we should start this week and by the way if you want to get in touch

it's hello at lukeandpeatshow.com we'd love to hear from you and we're at lukeandpeatshow on twitter we ended last week or last show around with you casually tossing

out there a little bit of a little breadcrumb. A little bit of chicken feed, as they say in the spy game, of how you had a one-man show about the 80s slash 90s sitcom Bread. Tell

us more. A very British sitcom, let's say. Yeah, give people the background because I've never seen it. It's a Liverpool, I think they were Liverpoolians, based kind of hard luck sitcom where everyone came together at the end and learned a little bit about themselves and each other. Right. Like Thundercats. A bit like Thundercats but with less Lothar.

Next time, I'll stay at home. A snarf. Snarf, you cunt. Let's do it again. cats but less um Lothar next time I'll stay at home snuff snuff you cunt let's do it again next time I'll stay at home I'll lay in a hole I'll lay in a hole

I'll have a stupid little cat thing every ha ha ha that wasn't that wasn't a line I was trying to do um it was just

that sounds like panthro panthro ha ha ha we've done we've done um thundercats bloopers before, haven't we? Have we? Where Panthro can't say Sammelflange.

Sammelflange? What the fuck is Sammelflange? Yeah. Yeah, not that. Did we also discuss the rather more problematic outtakes of ALF, the 90s puppet-based sitcom, where he's shouting a load of racial epithets between scenes?

Wow. Can't play that on this. Impossible. Literally can't. It's absolutely horrendous. I'm going to presume the guy was white who was controlling him. I would say that's probably a fairly safe bet, yeah. Carry on.

Bread. 90s sitcom. Set in Liverpool. What happened? I'm just saying Alf might be a member of the BME group. It's quite a notorious... But the controller is a... No, it's quite a notorious racial thing

yeah I'll give you no more than that but there you go alright I'm saying the puppet I understand that right I'm telling you

I don't think that's the case I'm just saying plausible in my deniability why are you helping him out I'm just helping him out I want Alf to be good look he might have eaten

a few cats in his day but I want Alf to be good in my mind all he ever did was, every single episode was they tried to explain away to a neighbour or an unwitting friend why they had an alien in their house, and then Alf spent the rest of the time

looking out the window, and at the end, they got away with it. Like Harry and the Hendersons, basically, which is another one of those. Harder to hide. Anyway, the year is 1988. Pete Donaldson's in the Scout Hut, the Cub Scout Hut.

He's about to do a one-man show based on the 90s sitcom Bread. Take it away, Danson. The floor is yours. I'm not a man for preparation. I don't fucking know that. And I was tasked with a friend to do a comedy skit at the Cub Scout talent show. And we were going to do a Trevor and Simon's the Cub Scout talent show. And we were going to do a Trevor and Simon sister brothers skit.

Love that. We pretended to be the sister brothers. Love that. And they always used to start every show by breaking through a lot of paper. And I remember sort of thinking,

I'm going to put paper on that doll and it's going to be really exciting. Because the most exciting, the best thing about Trevor and Simon is they used to break through

a piece of paper at the start and be like wacky kind of. Have you seen, have you read that book The Sisters Brothers by Patrick DeWitt? No. Set in the Wild wacky kind of... Have you read that book, The Sisters Brothers, by Patrick DeWitt? No. Set in the Wild West.

Where's that come from? Very good. The Sisters Brothers. I don't know what the reference was that they took it from. I don't know why, but it's the same title. Oh. That's what the book's called. Oh.

Carry on. So the Sister Brothers weren't taken off The Sisters Brothers? No, because this book came out five years ago. Oh. Yeah. Was it about something that happened back in the wild west

though called the sisters brothers no they were called that's what they were called right

I shouldn't have interjected maybe it was there was no point to it maybe Trevor and Simon are big fans

let's get this Cubs they're on twitter I'm going to tweet them let's go let's get

cracking I'm going to tweet them with a looking pizza account saying Trevor and

Simon was your late 80s characters the sister brothers based on the sisters brothers in the Wild West? Yeah.

Can you do that? Because I won't do it. No, no, you won't. I'll be able to tell you I'm going to do it, but then I'm not going to do it. Until we get badgered by listeners. Well, it was just, they said, come up with something. Why are you doing it? For Christmas? What is it? It was like a talent show. It's a Harvest Festival.

Oh, fuck, you know. Take your tins in. Take your tins in take your tins in mate it would always be like stuff you'd never use like we'd always have this tin of

pie filling yeah and it'd be like kind of like really acrid jam that had been there for five years always take that in

sweet corn love your job they'll take it if they're hungry they'll have it unlovable new potatoes out of them oh yeah

tinned new potatoes and the tinned potatoes used to eat a lot of them anyway yeah we're on stage If they're hungry, they'll have it. Unlovable new potatoes. Have them. Oh, yeah. Tinned new potatoes. And the tinned potatoes. Used to eat a lot of them. Anyway, yeah, we're on stage, and I come up with the idea, panicked, because my friend didn't come in that day, so he let me down,

and he wasn't going to join me being Trevor and Simon or the sister. Why didn't he come in? That's pathetic. Absolutely mugged me off. So I had to do a one-man show. Kevin. Right. And he didn't we need to talk about Kevin

is that what the book's based on we need to talk about Kevin he didn't turn out as the Pete Dahlson that's Trevor and Simon and I went up and panicked just did

a couple of scenes from a episode of Bread I'd seen recently and all I can remember from it what are you playing all the characters

yeah so I'd sort of jump to one side of the stage and do one character and then jump over the other side and do the other character and the only thing i remember was lilo little was the fancy lass of the granddad of the piece i believe lilo little was like a kind of like the person that it is fancy girl basically right it didn't make any sense. But then I sashayed into I saw football on the stage and I picked it up

and pretended to cry and said, hey, who's this? Who's this? Gazza. Gazza. It must have been post 90 then. Yeah.

Probably. It can't have been late 80s. So you must have been at least 10. You were older than you said. Terrible, isn't it? Well, I was probably cock on nine or 10, yeah. Cock on?

Cock on. Yeah. So who won the talent show? Not me. No. Can you remember any of the other acts? I cannot remember any of the other acts. I can remember at school, going to a school disco, junior school,

so I would have been under probably nine or ten. What year did the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle film come out? Oh, that's a good point. With the accompanying single Turtle Power by Partners in Crime with a Y to strive to do what's right it probably was about 1988

so I was still at primary school so I was 7 or 8 so I used to I was obsessed with it I used to love it

and I used to have this t-shirt saying built to shred on it with Raphael on the front I used to wear it everywhere that doesn't make any sense have shred on it when we had

a school disco I was wearing this shirt 1990 ok right so I was about 9 I was wearing this t-shirt built to shred t-shirt

and then we went into the school disco which was held in the school hall and I was with my friend John Pater and another guy I forget who it was

but I was quite close friends with John Pater at that point. And the other guy, we were pals, we'd been on that well. And for some reason, I made up to this other guy that me and John Pater had this dance to Turtle Power by Pines and Crimes. But we didn't. Yeah. Right?

And it would have been fine had we just, you know, left it. Made balance of ourselves in front we just, you know, left it. Made balance of ourselves in front of him and they would have laughed about it. But he went and told everyone and the next thing you know, everyone's around us.

And what? And at the school disco did they play Partners in Crime? Yeah, and when they played it, everyone was around us. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying.

So it's one of those things when you're a kid, you make up a story and it goes too far and we end up having to just ham fist our way through this made up improvised thing and it was just ridiculous. And we ended up having to just ham-fist our way through this made-up, improvised thing.

And it was just ridiculous. And I don't remember getting bullied for it or getting a load of stick for it, but it was quite embarrassing. Was it proper Brent? Proper kind of panicked, kind of just... Yeah. I think we were just sort of aping

what we'd seen Vanilla Ice do or something. When it came on Top of the Pops or whatever. Bloody smashing that. Yeah, so I'm in the same boat as you, mate. Very enjoyable. Do you know what I've been doing this week, Luke? What's that?

I've been trying to find, not really, trying to find some South London World War II stretcher fences. You know those fences that... I did not expect you to say that.

When the war ended in... 45. I've got a memory. At 45, a lot of the stretchers were made of pretty decent metal. Because obviously the war effort, all the metal went into that. So the stretchers were quite durable. So they were just kind of like flat pipes in an oblong shape with mesh.

Some deformed by the people who would have used them at some point. With little kind of nodules I don't want one, little nodules in them to elevate them from the floor a little bit they're very rudimentary but at the end of the war a lot of the London boroughs turned them into fencing and if you walked past them you would never know they were there the ones in Kennington I think are protected by law you're not allowed to change them or anything.

But they are getting knocked down, getting removed, at a rate of knots in London. But nobody knows where they all are, which is the spookiest thing. But can you not see them? When you know where they are, do they stand out? Yeah, you know they're there when you see them, but the problem is they're not being mapped, so nobody actually knows.

Like, councils don't really know where they are and how many of them are used. That's fascinating. So it's a tangible piece of World War 2 history that's in London and you can just walk past them

every day and not really sort of give it a second look I'll keep an eye out from now on then so stretches turned into fences in London yeah

that's incredible yeah very nice weird have you actually seen any yourself I've seen it I've walked past a

couple in London and thought they look strange but you don't really take a photo mate take a photo, mate. Take a photo. Good stuff, that. Last time around, I put it out to the listeners,

and I wouldn't normally persevere with this, but because it's the listeners involved, I thought I should. I asked them to choose what they want us to talk about. It was a number of one to five. Oh, yeah, I can see that. Oh, I've seen those before. Definitely. Yeah, they're cool.

Very good. Where's that one? Where's that one, Pete? Kennington? That one is in Southwark, the Rockingham Estate. South Yeah, they're cool. Very good. Where's that one? Where's that one, Pete? Kennington? That one is in Southwark, the Rockingham Estate. South London, near Waterloo. I mean, this piece was there last year,

so they might have been there. I walked past the Rockingham Estate, actually, because I've got a place of work near there. Anyway. Look at that. Jeremy Corbyn, I'm criticised for wearing scruffy anorak to Armistice Day service.

Is that man just going to constantly be criticised for courts he wears to memorial services? I think he's a bellend. I think he's a bellend. Five. Although I did

at least like him. He's a card carrying labour member. Five subjects. We did two last time. There's three left.

You've got to choose two, three or five. When I read the subject you need to give me something on it. Go.

Alright, okay. Two, three or five. Two. Games you invented when you were young. Surely. Surely Pete Donaldson

we used to play a game called kick the can do you ever remember that I mean that sounds like pretty easily easily described I guess isn't it just kicking a can around

well it was never really a can it was a football we used to use so we used to have a back alley down the back of our house you're kicking the can down the road

yeah I don't know where it came from I don't know where the name of it came from but we used to have a back alley down our house they all accused you to play out there you'd put a football in the middle of the alley and someone would kick it and the put and in the time it took for the person who was it to go and get it and bring it back right you have to hide so it's like an elaborated game of hide and seek so skill versus um verve

but back in the traditional game of hide and seek you would say's skill versus verve. But back in the traditional game of hide and seek, you would say, Pete, I see you behind the tree. You're out, right? But that's not how it worked in Kick the Can. If you found them or saw them, you had to leg it back to the football, right? Before they got back and touched the football,

then they would be out and they'd sit in the holding pen. Look, we've all played block. Block one, two, three. Block one, two, three? It's block one, two, three. Block one, two, three? It's block one, two, three, mate. But if someone got back there first and kicked the ball, everyone was released again?

Yeah, I think there was a holding pen sort of situation. Block one, two, three. Is that what you called it? There was no football involved. We'd use it on a palisade or a wall. It would just sit on a wall.

But how would you kick it to get away so you'd get time to get high? You would just count, wouldn't you? You'd just have one. Not the same. It's like hide and seek, but you started like hide and seek but you started like

hide and seek and end it like whatever not the same chimeric nonsense you were up to if you played kick the can

or your own variation on it hello at lukeandpeacher.com block 1 2 3 we've just established is a separate game the other thing

I wanted to ask you on this short list from listeners is the closest you've ever come to death I fell down some stairs in Japan that was pretty

what happened rough I was talking about Al who he will readily admit he won't actually he'll hate me for saying this he is

not one for an emergency let's say right not one for planning not one for an emergency he's worse than me I fell down

that is staggering I was I mean that is staggered I was I saw this sort of dark sort of stairs going down and I sort of put one foot down two feet down and the steps just kept coming

and I kept falling and I just started falling and that could have been broken neck I managed to roll onto my back at the last moment and I had such a

horrible fucking bruise like right up this one side of my body How many stairs were you talking? broken neck. I managed to roll it on my back at the last moment and I had such a horrible fucking bruise. Like right up this one side of my body. How many stairs were you talking? 15. It was a good old... It was pitch dark? It was pitch dark down there.

And I remember sort of looking up and going, looking up at Al and thinking, you can't, you're not going to know how to fucking get me to a hospital.

Shit. So what happened then? Is that when you got hit by the moped as well? I was just, I remember sort of, I got hit by the moped as well I was just I remember sort of I got run over in Japan didn't I

yeah I just sort of sat there for a bit realised that was more or less okay but yeah the next couple of days were a bit painful

my word but I just remember sort of going that was a terrible stroke of luck a wonderful stroke of luck that I didn't die an absolute snuff

how long would it have been if you were on your own how long would it have been if you were on your own how long would it have been before someone found you there was no reason for anybody down there I don't know why the stairwell was

unlit and just like that crazy a guy I know who I won't name he went on a date once went back to the other person's house

and woke up in the middle of the night to go to the toilet walked down the corridor opened the door to what he thought was the bathroom. And it was the basement. Stepped in, fell down the stairs. Couldn't, and like you, smashed his back.

Couldn't move. Had to lie there all night. The other person woke up. Yeah. And thought that he'd done a runner. Right. So they just went to work. Oh no.

And he was there all day as well. And there was only when the guy came back that they realised. I mean, that's no way. Are they still together? No. I don't believe so, no. I don't believe so.

Terrible. But I remember once walking back from a pub as well, a few of my pals, and those of you who are listening from this part of the world you'll know in gosport there's a place called st george's barracks it's a massive old mod thing and it's surrounded by these fences not made of stretchers but fences nonetheless and um i was walking back around it after being uh i think i was either out in portsmouth so i come back across the ferry

across the harbour or i've been in the pub down near the ferry walking down with a couple of pals and no word of a lie about 10 meters in front of me a car swerved across the road and smashed through the fence and it was a drunk driver and he

had totaled the car I think he was okay but he had totaled the car smashed through the fence and if we had left five seconds ago we would have been

dead there's no way any human being would have survived it he's got about 40 miles an hour smashed into this fence that's probably the closest I've come.

Backing idiot. Hello at LukeandPeach.com. We talked a bit about that before. Someone didn't have seven near-death experiences or something in one email. But I think people sort of discounted him as being a bit of an idiot. He did definitely win the lottery, though.

He gave his money away. Transport. A lot of them are transport-related, weren't they? I was a couple of trains behind the 7-7 Finnerty Park bomb. Were you? No. The girl we worked with. She was in it, wasn't she? I was a couple of trains behind the 7-7 Finley Park bomb. Were you? Girl we worked with.

She was in it, wasn't she? Yeah, terrible. Anyway, let's have a little break, come back, and I'm going to do an email about

some lube and a dog's anus. You were making promises. The problem appears to be that we haven't got our photo

ID to try and travel to Scotland, which, as far as I can remember, was in the British Isles. What can we do? We're utterly hamstrung by these thick-headed people wearing orange suits. Wow. Yeah, there we go. As promised, Tom from South East London has been in touch.

And this is a great email because it went um in the direction i didn't expect okay let's say says hi chaps long time listener of the show uh wanted to share this with you i've worked in a local supermarket for a few years to support myself at uni and despite not being the most exciting job some of the unbelievably idiotic and bizarre questions i get from customers are worth their weight in gold. My favourite of all time happened recently when I was called to the tills to answer a query about a product. Walking over, I saw the couple in question holding a bottle of lube. Here we go. I thought, this is going to be good. Expecting a question that was going to reveal far too much about the couple's sex life,

I was surprised to be asked by the woman whether this product would be suitable for lubricating her pregnant Staffordshire Bull Terrier's anus. Oh. As she wanted to insert a thermometer and take its temperature. Before I could reply, she informed me that she had already googled this and asked a vet, but just wanted to make sure. Retrospectively, her seriousness only improves the story, but at the time I was annoyed that she expected me to know this information. I told her, of course, that I didn't have a clue, having never used a product before myself, particularly not for the moistening of a dog's rectum. I'm sorry, but if you're... I'm led to believe she chanced it.

Well, she didn't chance it. She asked three people. That's from Tom. One of which worked in the supermarket. Yeah. I mean, sorry. There's something about the culture nowadays where you just feel like there's no kind of common sense anymore.

I have to ask, like, it's lube. If it's fine for, like, they're not ingesting it, are they? They just use, use butter. What can dogs eat?

It's time for time. Use that. If it's something, use oil. What can dogs eat? Anything. Dogs eat everything. Rub the tomato

on some fucking beef jerky and jam it up there. It doesn't fucking matter. I know of a dog who ate 40 eggs and the shells. Wow, that's pretty good. My father-in-law's dog aspen great great lad he ate three sticks of butter on the left on the side they eat anything

i i told you that last day of my japan holiday it's a a big mouthful of uh butter you thought it was cheese right it was cheese yeah i remember you did yeah terrible yeah any any um sort of uh stories pete off the back of that relating to dogs anuses or lube I can't say I've been equated they say that if a dog

clamps its jaws on you you're supposed to pop your little finger up there to untramp it just calmly do that like a control alt delete

yeah exactly how are you going to find it if you're that calm you can find a dog's anus when you've got a with your little finger can someone find me some lube you'd find a dog's anus when you've got a... With your little finger. Can someone find me some lube?

You'd have to lick it first, wouldn't you? Imagine that with a dog. Imagine if the police turn up, and you've got a dog wrapped around your arm, clamped, and you've got your other arm, and you're looking at the door. Little pit, like an arm warmer. The policeman walks in.

What are you doing? I'm sticking my finger up its arse. Why? Why are you doing that? What came first there yeah exactly yeah is the dog

clamped around your arm because of that no or the first thing you say it's not what it looks like my favourite thing is like a blog that does

there's one blog that does like amateur pornography Ikea stuff where basically they find amateur porn

streaming sites or whatever Pornhub or whatever and they find like amateur videos that have been uploaded and then they find like the exact

Ikea furniture that they've got in the background and they take a screenshot of it and they put this is the product if you want this

and they just show up It's an elaborate ploy to get out of the fact that your girlfriend caught you watching pornography. Yeah. I don't have a girlfriend

so it's not my problem. It's fine. But there's another one that also has dogs or cats that just appear in the background of... What? This is amateur porn, right?

Yeah, it's amateur porn. So people are just going at it and the dog will just go, hello, and just pop his head into the camera or something classic that's brilliant

I remember the other day probably classed as an old porn I imagine yeah it might be with any luck speaking of

not that the other week my cat's been over grooming probably through stress hard to tell right

that's world one world one documentary he shall not grow old I took him to the vet and said look what's going on

she said look it can be anything Valium she said that she had a a couple came in with a cat and they were driven

to distraction by how much it was over grooming through anxiety and they maintained he's been really well treated there's nothing wrong with him they tried all this

different stuff turned out that they had rearranged their furniture in their living room and that's what had done it cats are very sensitive

to that sort of environmental change you've had a tree surgeon well I've had all sorts going on you've had your garden going on anyway

we haven't got to the bottom of it but now it's starting to get a bit colder Magnus bless him your hair getting longer he's not

he's not it could be that he's not doing it anymore, so it's fine. But anyway, at the time we didn't know. She said, look, it could be anything,

just look after him, he'll be fine, don't worry about it. He's not got any issue with his skin, as long as he doesn't break the skin, it'll be fine.

She said, but, because of the area he's over grooming, basically on the small of his back and his tail, might be that he has his anal glands

needs to be cleaned. Oh, wow. I was like, pardon? Do you have glands? What Might be that he has his anal glands needs to be cleaned. Oh, wow. I was like, pardon? Do you have glands? What are they? Cats have got anal glands. What do they do?

Sort of dogs. Oh, is it for spraying shit? I think it's to do with lubricating the stall so it can come out. Oh, do we have those? And they can get dirty. I don't think so, Pete, no.

Can I get them grafted in? Yeah, maybe. Body mod. What would you have done? Anal glands. Anal glands. Anal glands. So the boy had his anal glands cleaned, and the way we had to hold it,

he was facing me the whole time, and he was looking at me going, you vicious shit. What are you doing this to me for? You dirty boy. He was absolutely gutted. Dogs have them. Cats have them.

Humans, thank God, don't have them. There you go. You had to Google that, didn't you? Oh, they make like a stinky fluid. Yeah, it smells horrendous. Pete, There you go. You have to Google that. Oh, they make like a stinky fluid. Yeah, it smells horrendous. Pete, I can't believe you had to Google that after what you just said about people not using common sense. Rub their bum on the floor.

Yeah, but like our stools need softening, don't they sometimes? I don't believe so, no. You have famous problems with it, don't you? Well, I guess, is it because those animals are pure carnivores-like, so they don't eat a lot of veg in the wild? Cats eat grass, don't they? To help with their digestion. Do they?

You famously only had three poos the entire 2012. The entire decade. No, it wasn't. It was a year. Stop trying to downplay it. You went three poos in a year. Well, clearly not true. I would have to have an operation, wouldn't I?

How many did you have in a year? What do you mean? In 2012, you were so constipated you had like a handful of poos. You repeating this has become like a fact in your head

and it's really confusing. I'm not Donald. You've done this weird kind of like Mandela theory kind of like the Peter that had three poos

in 2016 or whatever. 2012 actually. 2012. Do an email, Peter. Don't throw that at me quick Chris Best hello Chris Best

I was listening to your email about the the guys who had hot and cold Ribena at the school that wasn't actually hot and cold oh yeah

it wasn't physically cold it was spicy or icy or menthol although I don't remember these are our school sold something called Tizer Ice

I remember that the exact same promise to be called even if the can itself wasn't called did it have a picture of a man's face on the front with his head taken off probably are they all i think that was that was a rebranding of the ties ahead oh right okay um i've seen this advertised on the tv a few weeks before and was desperate to get my hands on a can in my youthful mind this was going to be so cold and refreshing it would instantly ice up my tongue i bought a can that the morning break and left it in my bag to warm up i think the school must have kept it in the fridge because uh that's rather kind uh but it kind of defeats the purpose i cracked it open preparing for the icy onslaught instead what i got was something that tastes like

a chemical fruity mouthwash when i looked on the side of the can the tizer people had simply added menthol to normal tizer to make it taste cold i can confirm that the only thing it did to my temperature was made to go up with rage yeah that's i mean i mean what does he expect though i guess he was just a young man at the time yeah nothing like trial and disappointment he says do you remember um for a brief period of time ness cafe did uh um cans of coffee that you would jam your finger at the bottom of uh and the chemicals would mix and heat up the uh coffee to a rather lukewarm disappointing way

it did work yeah but it was like I never really drink coffee so I'm not saying I would have tried I remember it existing I do sort of

you know I talk about Japan quite a lot but I do think the ubiquitous nature of the vending machines that serve both hot and cold drinks

are just something special there's just something to behold really I can walk three metres and I've got a can of either hot coffee or cold coffee in my hand. Am I right in saying this? It's seen as sort of rude to walk and eat in Japan. Yeah, you don't eat on the street.

You can't smoke on the street either. You have to smoke in designated areas. And I think it came from literally one or two situations where a bloke was walking down the street and he caught a kid

in the eye or something and they just banned it outright you can smoke in restaurants you can smoke in bars you can smoke in nightclubs you can smoke everywhere apart from

walking down the street apart from the most well ventilated place in the country it's mental isn't it that is very strange every kind of hotel you ever stay in

will have like Febreze that you can spray on your clothes because your clothes stink otherwise absolutely it's funny how

sort of much that whole sensibility has changed because it was just par for the course when we were younger we'd stink of cigarettes the whole time

I remember people smoking on trains up until late 80s you could smoke on a flight couldn't you back row smoking and on the bus when I used to

get the bus with my mum when I was a kid everything used to smell of smoke all the time which is what you're doing it

that's why I might have mentioned this before but that's why you still find ashtrays on new planes because they acknowledge that

certain people are going to break the rules and try to smoke on the toilet and they can't risk it not being put out properly.

So they have to have ashtrays there anyway. Which is interesting. Also, if you lift up the no smoking sign on some toilet doors, there's a little handle and you can open the door without unlocking it. That's for if people have been not in the toilet. Emergency. Oh, good to know. Good to know that.

Good little hack, Pete. Little hack. Good little life hack. All right. Listen, I think that's probably about as much time as we've got this time around. We've gone through Good little hack, Pete. Little hack. Good little life hack. All right. Listen, I think that's probably about as much time as we've got this time around. We've gone through a lot, I think. We have, and I'm going away soon to the US,

so we're going to have to do a few more of these in advance, Peter. All right, darling. And hopefully when I come back, I can tell you some stories about beautiful New England at Thanksgiving time. Nyang-land. Hello at LukeandPeteShow.com

to get in touch at LukeandPeteShow on Twitter and Instagram. Peter, say goodbye. Have a pumpkin pie. See you later. Bye.