The Luke and Pete Show - Episode 122: Baked bean pizzas and Irn Bru chew bars

Episode Date: December 6, 2018

Hello everyone, and happy Thursday! The Luke and The Pete are back in the saddle and running the rule over yet more unplanned nonsense, including discontinued foodstuffs, Pete's first ever podcast, and spotting Eddie Izzard on the tube.Elsewhere, there's another visit to North Sentinel Island (figuratively speaking, it's too dangerous to go there in person, as someone found out last week), Neil Young and Bob Dylan team up, and we hear from a very disgruntled listener...To join forces with us: [e-mail]***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

And we are now, Pete Dawson, we are rolling. Lift off. Ignition. It's the Luke and Pete show, number 122. Back in the seats. Back in the saddle after a couple of weeks off for Luke Moore and me, Pete Donaldson. I mean, obviously, we've kept up the routine of doing the shows and releasing the shows, but we haven't actually recorded one for about two and a half weeks. Who's up for another unplanned half hour?

Yeah. You? Do you get nervous up for another unplanned half hour? Yeah. You? Do you get nervous about doing an unplanned show, Pete? Um, not with you, Luke, because you're such a professional. You can talk the hind legs

off a donkey. I can. With anyone else, I'd be like, uh-oh, SpaghettiOs. It's time for the Luke and Pete show,

aka the show where one host fills so the other one can do other stuff. Well, we already know you're going to be filling for at least three seconds so you can let Sam in

to give you a cup of tea. Well, I'll be honest with you, Pete. It's bloody great to be back here with you. People who listen to the show won't know we've been away, but of course we pre-record them in advance if we are going to go away. People who follow us on social media will see that you've been in Romania,

which I'm sure we'll hear about later. I've been in the US, which I'll talk about a bit later as well. But it's one of those things where you have to prep, you have to get in, you have to do stuff. And I'm a bit on US Eastern time still. You're still on US Eastern time. Yeah, so I wasn't able to allocate some time

to get a cup of tea from the canteen because I put my work first, as you well know. Unlike you who rescheduled this record two days hence because you couldn't get out of bed. I wasn't in bed. That was the problem. I hadn't actually got to bed. Sliced it however you want. It's unprofessional, whichever way you look at it. Well, I mean, I would argue

that doing a podcast about nothing is very low down at anyone's. I mean, at least the other podcasts we do have a subject. Yeah, and I think that's where they're going wrong. Yeah, why not just be able to draw from the entirety of human

experience rather than just football. And then just talk about farts. Yeah. Pete, you know, do you remember a while back, you won't

remember this because you don't remember anything. We talked about how we're probably at least, I hope this isn't too self-aggrandizing, but we're at least partly

responsible with the Football Ramble and probably with this as well for a huge amount of people just sitting around a table talking and releasing it as a podcast. Something we do here. Right, okay.

We said that on the show and then we got a tweet from someone saying, oh, I've just started a film podcast with my mate. And before I record the first episode, I listened to the latest episode of Luke and Pete where they said, don't be just two blokes sat around talking about nothing

oh yeah somebody emailed in about that yeah I was wondering because I thought because he sort of said well don't have a go at something I'm doing I'm like going

if we were suddenly thinking that we have any sort of right to cast aspersions on anyone bearing in mind that I haven't even printed anything out

for this show I'm reading it off my phone yeah because I can find my laptop we were doing it in a self-deprecating way to cast aspersions on anyone, bearing in mind that I haven't even printed anything out for this show. No. I'm reading it off my phone. Yeah. Because I can find my laptop back. We were doing it in a self-deprecating way. We were saying that, you know, this is, we do this.

Oh, yeah, exactly. If any of your podcasts have been inspired by us, I mean, send them in. I'm not going to listen to them. I'm not a fan. You can't even listen to your own. I just wanted to get a boner for the idea that we've inspired someone.

Yeah, that helps you. Has there been a tall man in this chair before me? Literally, I was about to say, why are you so low down? Why am I low down? Who's in that chair normally?

It's you. Yeah. It's your chair. That's my chair. Am I melting? Something's afoot. Oh, do you know who it was? Have I lost a vertebrae?

I know who's in that chair. Right. So Jack Dean of the Jack Mate Happy Hour podcast records in this studio. Brought in a gigantic grasshopper. He did. He had a guy in called Nico

who's another YouTuber. I can't see his microphone stand. He was taller than me so that's probably why. Bloody hell. I mean, Nico, if you're listening, which you're not because you've got 5 million subscribers

on YouTube so you don't give a shit about us. And you're in the underground. Yeah. You are about to get into the phase of your career where you go around clubs in Germany playing shows

just to get heroin before you die. I think in ibiza in the late 80s that's what he's got to look forward to why does no in the meantime leave the studio as you found it yeah exactly readjust the chair tall man yeah we're all not like you it's not a saying is it readjust the chair tall man oh you're like peter ustinov. Pick up the gun. Pick up the gun. Recently on the Luke and Pete show, we talked. I like to do a recap every time we come in the studio. I don't do it every show, but every time we come in,

just so people know where we are. I do it under the guise of reminding listeners what's been happening, but really I'm reminding you, Pete. Making up dances as kids, including Partners in Crime's seminal classic Turtle Power. Pete's one- Man Bread stage show. Yeah. Remember that one? U-Boat toilets and their inherent dangers, drive-by blow dartings.

That was bizarre. Yeah, and my grandad, as in Luke's grandad, the bakery magnate. Yes, handing out bread for free cinema tickets, which I imagine would be quite the test if you ever went to the Audion in Leicester Square they've had a big old

clear out they've fitted some new speakers a new 50 quid projector from Mapland and they have got a new set up and apparently

one of the more expensive tickets for Mary Poppins which is one of their launch titles this week or next week is £40

£40 for a cinema ticket mad isn't it it's ridiculous in central London cinema prices are incredibly high insane so you week is £40. £40 for a cinema ticket. Mad, isn't it? It's ridiculous. In central London, cinema prices are incredibly high. Insane. Insane. So you're saying £40? I think that's the market though, isn't it?

I bought some. So my granddad would need to drop off about 35 loaves of bread. He'd have to have a skip full of starchy bread. So if he wants to take my grandmother and his son and daughter, my mother and uncle, to the cinema. Presuming there's some sort of concession. But then my mum is now 62. She gets it as well.

Yeah. It's going to be about 150 loaves of bread. That's a lot of yeast. I mean, people are going to start seeing that go missing from my grandma's warehouse. It's not going to be available to him. I just wanted to see Mary Poppins, he'd say. Yeah.

And also, I'm sorry. I'll leave my security card by the reception. You'll never hear from me again. I think it's kind of more in line with what people expect to pay for a live, well, not really a live experience, but an outside your house experience. How much do we charge for a live Ramble? About 20 quid, isn't it? That's decent. A lot goes into it. A lot goes into that. It's a whole day out for us. Yeah, do we charge for a live ramble? About 20 quid, isn't it? That's decent.

A lot goes into it. A lot goes into that. It's a whole day out for us. Yeah, exactly. It's a performance, isn't it? I mean, what do they really do to flick on the lights and press go on the projector?

Well, famously, as Mark Kermode always complains about and in his excellent book, The Good, The Bad and The Multiplex, he covers it in quite a lot of detail. I'd recommend that book,

by the way. There aren't even projectors in cinemas now. So it's not even like there's a skill involved it's not because being a projector was like an old like an old um profession it's all hard drives and downloads exactly mate exactly i've got a hell of an interconnection for it was either it was either a cinema experience i was at personally or someone told me about i think i might have even been there i went to the cinema and the film started and it was upside down

and it took about 15 minutes to get someone to come in and change it and start it again that sounds I mean they've clearly

got the thing the wrong way up haven't they what do you think the real yeah I know but like that was clearly

pre-digital projectors it was only about 10 years ago well how did they do that I don't know ridiculous answer on a postcard. Hello at Luke and Pete show.com.

Any projectionist listening. I paid an obscene amount of money for tickets to go and see Bob Dylan and Neil Young. I'm going to be there. Are you going to be there? Yeah. Yay.

I've got tickets as well. Yeah. How much for your tickets? My friend got them for me because he's got a Barclay card and it was open. I mean, what could be more rock and roll than that?

If you've got a Barclay card, you get them early. The Barclay Artists of the British Summertime Festival is a good festival, but their VIP banding is fucking ridiculous. How much did you shell out? I missed the actual sale, so I had to go to one of those resellers. Oh, you're an idiot.

You're an idiot. Well, you know. So actually, your whole story is undermined. I don't have a Barclay card. Yeah, well, quite. But get a mate to get you one like I did. You've undermined yourself by telling the story, so you've basically gone to some sort of ticket.

300 quid each. Yeah, exactly. You're an idiot. You are an idiot. Idiot. To see two old men, a man who's only doing it because his house burned down and he lost a load of money on an MP3 venture.

Don't ever go at Pono. Because I tell you, that is going to revolutionise the music industry. They're only going on eBay for quite a bit of money. I reckon they're going to be one of those things that people want, like the Microsoft Zoom that everyone wanted when Guardians of the Galaxy 2 came out. Have you ever seen Bob Dylan live?

No. Oh, you are a free-for-all boy. Absolute shite. None of the songs sound anything like what they sound like on record. Honestly, this is going to sound ridiculous, but you'll see when you see him. Sometimes i've seen him a couple times and i have got through the whole song and thought you know what i don't know what song that was i don't know what song that was i don't think that i because i just knew that um i'd want to go around about the time um but the

problem is i the problem is i i knew i wouldn't be able to get freebies because it's quite a popular gig. Because, I mean, last year I got a lot of freebies from work, so I went to go and see loads of people. How did the other half live, eh? Like The Cure. Well, you know, I never asked for gigs. Never asked for gigs. Never ever asked for tickets.

But I saw a load of bands. Killers and that, were the Killers there last summer? Either way, I had a bloody good laugh. I think you'll have a good time. It's one of those things that you want to actually be there. Paul Simon. Then both come to London at the same time.

It was a pretty special occasion. Yeah. It seems weird that they're double billing. You reckon you could get two nights out of that? Yeah. Neil Young and Bob Dylan.

They'll probably come on stage together. Speaking of... One's got quite a lot... No, they both have quite whiny voices, haven't they? Donald Dylan's voice now is like this. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. Every one month, sunshine. I was laying in bed. One day, I changed it all. But here I was still red. But he doesn't sing it in the tune. That's the problem. The band are instructed to play a completely different song.

I had rumours that he's been on the brown most of his life. Amazing. Good effort. He must have some fantastic... He famously never stops touring. So, I mean, he must be... Got some downtime. How old is he now?

Mid-70s, maybe? Yeah. Neil Young I've seen before as well. Neil Young I saw live at Hammersmith Apollo. He did the first half of the show, he did with... Just acoustically, which is amazing. And then he went off, come back on with a full band and did a full band set, which is great.

Magic. Yeah, it was good. Speaking of people that some would argue are seminal artists, I saw Eddie Izzard on the tube in this morning. Ah. Dressed up to the nines, he was. Dressed up to the nines.

He was... Thigh-high leather, high-heeled boots. He ran for a position in the Liverpool quite recently. He did. I kept on getting emails about him. His politics are he is

unspeakably bad at articulating his politics. I would argue that his performance on Question Time Oh yeah, he's much worse than you. His performance on Question Time around the Brexit thing might have inspired people in their millions to vote

for Brexit. Put it that way. Put it that way. Put it that way. I will put it that way. Before we take a little break and get to some emails, i.e. the best part of the show, we should probably chat further about North Sentinel Island, shouldn't we?

Oh, while you were away, you sent me about five different pieces. Interesting, mate. Well, it is interesting, but I mean, I don't know why you're obsessed with it. while you were away you sent me about five different pieces interesting mate well it is interesting but I mean I don't know why you're obsessed with you're like

the reason why the North Sentinel people don't trust white men white people is because like a fucking duke or like a dirty boy went over

like about 300 years ago and just molested their kids I told you that you didn't it was all over the news in Britain like every little thing alright let me just

rephrase that I forwarded you the link yeah but I'd already read it everyone had already read everything about it but let's just give people an update

because they might not remember they might not remember and they might not know what we're talking about so North Sentinel Island in the Indian

Ocean is one of the few remaining untouched civilizations in the world and India who in theory own the island have left the Sentinelese to just get

on with it they're autonomous people they don't go near them because they're very very aggressive as you've said very mistrusting of anyone um who's not from the island and um will react with deadly force if anyone approaches them american guy john allen chow who was a 27 year old um preacher from alabama from bama, Roll Tide. He went over there, thought he was going to give him the old good word of Jesus and all that kind of stuff that people sometimes do, and was instantly killed. Yeah.

He had no license. You're like, God, do you want to meet him? Smack. He had no license to be there. Seven people have been arrested for illegally ferrying him to the island he had no missionary license

which I believe is something you need to have can you get a missionary license I don't know if it's called a missionary license

but it's something like you have to inform the authorities you're doing it he didn't do that I imagine sort of going on and preaching any kind of God

is actually politically difficult in these days yeah probably is he I'm going to bring Scientology to Syria it's got a lovely ring to it yeah actually politically um difficult in these days yeah probably is he he i'm gonna bring scientology to syria and it's got a lovely ring to it yeah uh good luck with that i the thing about this story is that we talked about before in the context of just them being an uncontacted tribe and and it is a fascinating thing i mean no one really knows how many people are living there

i think i think there were it was assumed they had died out when the tsunami hit in boxing day on boxing day about 13 14 years ago but they they obviously they it they didn they had died out when the tsunami hit on Boxing Day about 13, 14 years ago. But obviously they didn't wipe them out. So they obviously knew something that we didn't and they got up onto high ground or whatever. No one knows how many of them are still there. Some of the photos that have come out

since this incident of them standing guard on the beach and there was a close-up picture of one of them with a... Did you read the bit about them fashioning their own tools? Like how things have changed. They've now got knives and stuff. Yeah, because at one point a ship obviously made of metal...

Washed up. Yeah, grounded itself on the beach and the crew of that ship had to be airlifted out to safety. But the boat has just been left there and they've used it to start fashioning metal tools and knives and stuff. Imagine if you get washed up on that beach

and you just see a load of people who are trying to kill you, basically. You're like, I'm going to stay in this big metal ship. Yeah, the thing about that... Even though it has just sunk. The thing about that, and I don't know if we mentioned it at the time when we first covered North Sentinel Island,

is that the incident you're describing there actually happened. The ship ran aground about 100 metres off the coast, and they couldn't get off. But the weather was so bad, a helicopter couldn't come in and save them. And they had to sit there watching the North Sentinelese fashioning rafts on the beach with the sole intention of getting there and finding them and killing them.

So they were just sat there like sitting ducks. But fortunately, they were able to be airlifted off. Don't more ships have weapons? I'm fairly certain that's the case. It was just a merchant vessel. In the ocean. I think any vessel has some form of weaponry.

I think the listeners will probably look to you for a Jerry Springer-esque final thought about this incident. What lessons can we learn from it? Stay out of the North Centralise business, yeah? Yeah. Because we

fucked them up, that's why they don't trust us. If that bloke hadn't gone over there and had a weird fascination with the male form all those years ago. In the 1800s. Yeah. The sexual peccadilloes of man for many different reasons have ruined this fine earth.

That's a bit rich coming from you. I'm going to fuck a hole in the Ozon. Oh, for God's sake. Let's go to a break and then we'll have some emails. All right, then. Not that. The problem appears to be that we haven't got our photo ID to try and travel to Scotland,

which, as far as I can remember remember was in the British Isles. What can we do? We're utterly hamstrung by these thick-headed people wearing orange suits. I've missed that guy. I'm fed up with him now. Why? I just think he's annoying. I like him.

I like the way he goes, these thick-headed people. When you hear him, what do you think his face looks like? I reckon what he's doing now, he's probably that bloke off Gogglebox. That's what you raised me up. I was going to say that. Yeah. But he seems like an alright bloke, doesn't he? Yeah.

I reckon he could get his dander off. It's because you're a Marxist. You don't like posh people, do you? Yeah. They run a bed and breakfast, those two. They're better read than me. I tell you what. They've probably got their own theories about Marxism.

They probably agree. Knowing these champagne socialists on the telly going oh darling should we go up to town tomorrow to buy some butter what are you talking about I'm just that's

how I think posh people live should we go up to town to buy some preserve you can buy anything you want butter I've never had it

before good butter yeah good butter these days is hard to find as the horn goes people listening will be pleased to know this is actually the part of the show where hard to find as the time goes people listening will be pleased to know this is actually the part of the show

where we turn things over to our wonderful listeners and because we've been out of the studio for a couple of weeks we have got our big backlog bumper boys

and I want to start with one a while back according to Jazz who's emailed in it was episode 116 episode 116

we talked about bad British gangster films and I was talking about Bonded by Blood which features Tama Hassan some guy who used to be a doorman

and then somehow got his way into movies and it's one of the worst films I've ever seen it's so bad that I just really really enjoyed it on that note

I watched King of Thieves on the flight back from the US which one's King of Thieves? It's the one about the Hatton Garden robbery. Oh, yeah. With Michael Caine, Ray Winston, Jim Brolin.

That is a classic plane film. Never watch anything you actually want to watch. Yeah, it's actually all right. I mean, it's got so many watchable actors in it, I just found myself fairly... I mean, it's ridiculous. The plot was mad. Have they judged it up any?

But the plot wasn't mad in terms of a lot of the actual things that go on in the film actually happen but the way they approach it in the movie is completely there's no real

explanation people who don't seem to know each other very well get involved in the Hatton Garden robbery and obviously

it goes belly up is there any explanation of that wonderful grinder that they used to open up the hole in the wall oh the big drill the big drill it seems to open up the hole in the wall. Oh the big drill.

The big drill it seems to be make a hole like the size of your head. Yeah I mean they do have those. It's a big masonry drill right?

Yeah. No well I mean it'll probably be a circle. It's got a drill bit in the middle and a big circular thing on the

outside of it. It's fantastic though. Gigantic though. But they drill three holes and it's one of those ones you have to attach it to the

wall itself and to the ground and you have to keep pouring to the wall itself and to the ground. And you have to keep pouring water on it so it doesn't catch fire. Fantastic. Yeah, that was good actually. I enjoyed that bit. I like the hardware.

Anyway, Jazz has been in touch on that note and said, hi guys, love the show. Was listening to your discussion about shit British gangster films. By some coincidence that very evening

in a fit of boredom I think I found one of the worst. The film is called Killer Bitch and stars the greats of British gangster films. Dave Courtney,

Cass Pennant, Jason Mariner, admittedly those two are just football hooligans, Alex Reid, who once had sex with Katie Price and was on Big Brother,

and British hardcore porn legend Ben Dover. I watched 10 minutes of this film on YouTube and I don't think I can adequately describe how bad it is. It was genuinely the worst 10 minutes of film I've ever seen I don't think I can adequately describe how bad it is it was genuinely

the worst 10 minutes of film I've ever seen keep up the good work Jazz now that's good to know I'll definitely seek out Killer Bitch and let you all know

what I think about it I once saw Bendo on a plane well I'm going to say I met Bendo in a pub in my hometown and it was around the time

when he was making those bored housewives DVDs Jesus so I was thinking which one of my mate's parents house is B Ben Dover going around? Yeah.

But he was very nice. We bought him a beer, and he was fine just to hang out with us. I mean, I look back on it now, it's quite depressing. I saw him on a plane, and I couldn't figure out whether it was him or... Who's the guy you had? I wish I could fly night up to the sky, that bloke? Keith Francis? No, Keith.

Stu Francis? That's Keith something. Keith. Orville. Orville. Keith. Orville and Keith. I want to say Keith Floyd, but that's not him.

No. Who is it? Keith Harris? Keith Harris, that's it, yeah. Yeah, Keith Harris. I couldn't figure out whether it's him. I was like, oh, there's Keith Harris. I was going, no, no, it's not.

They do look similar. They've both got skullets. And also the bloke who is the chairman of Middlesbrough, Steve Gibson. What are they all doing together? No, I mean, just, no, he wasn't with him. I'm saying he looks quite similar as well. Oh, yeah, I see what you mean.

Piece from the same pod. Slightly curly hair. Yeah. It's going south and it's going via the re-rexit. Keith Harris. Which is one of his videos. Keith Harris died in 2015. Have some respect.

Why? Why did he die? I don't know. His skull is not there. Well, his skull is still there. I was thinking about this. My nan used to say, oh, tin ribs.

And she used to grab my ribs like I was so skinny. Like that scout leader. Tails and turns. Skeleton. Like that scout leader that time. Yeah, exactly. Was it a scout leader?

No, it was a vicar. That's right, yeah. Yeah. I'm just saying she's a skeleton now, so she's... For goodness sake. She's just a skeleton. I've won that battle in many ways. Reminds me of that League of Gentlemen sketch with...

Oh, thank you, Scottia Sam, for bringing us some tea. Here comes Sam for a cup of tea. Thanks, Sam. Pathetic. Appreciate that, mate. Thank you very much. Get a coffee. I don't want a coffee.

Get a coffee. I don't drink coffee. Get some flav I don't drink coffee get some flavoured syrup put some sugar on it I remember you getting me when we didn't know each other that well this is going back

we first started doing the ramble together last time I got him a drink this is the sort of story that people will listen they want to hear when we first started doing the ramble

I think we had to go for like a meeting like a very early meeting for some reason because I think people think that we were good friends before but we weren't really, were we? I think I've still

got the Facebook messages of you contacting me asking me to get involved in this venture. Because back when you could actually hold a girlfriend down. That sounds bad. No, I don't mean physically. I mean, she would actually stick around. Maybe they were into that? It's up to you. You never know.

It's not up to me. And them. But your then-girlfriend said to me, Pete really loves your show. It's not up to me. And them. But your then girlfriend said to me, oh, Pete really loves your show. I think you'd love to be on it. So I got in touch. And we needed some talent to be honest.

Jesus Christ. Anyway. Running on fumes. Early meeting. Didn't know you that well. I met you at a tube station in town. Might have been something called Road. And you bought me a coffee

and it was around Christmas time. And it had like a gingerbread syrup in it. Nice. And I didn't want it. I don't like coffee. I chucked it in the bin without you noticing. And that's the first time I've admitted that to you. Oh, well, there you go.

It only took you 10 years. To tell you, yeah. My secret shame. I figured out that I've been podcasting for 15 years. Isn't that incredible? Didn't your first ever podcast get picked up in some magazine? Yeah, it was fairly popular. Like 15 years ago, I did a little music podcast,

like new music podcast. It was just like, remember there was like MP3 blogs where just people would just have downloads of like different songs. Like Hype Machine and stuff like that. Yeah, stuff like that. Said the Gramophone and stuff like that. Yeah, I was reviewed a couple of times in Spin Magazine, which I think still might be going,

certainly probably still an online venture, but one of the bigger music magazines in America. And it said that I sound like I'm on Ritalin. Which, you know, is a pretty decent grab of things.

Yeah, I think that's fair. And for those who are wondering, Keith Harris unfortunately passed away from cancer. God rest him. Pete, I think that's fair. And for those who are wondering, Keith Harris unfortunately passed away from cancer. God rest him. Pete, you're up. Emails. Why team you up like that? Why not?

I'm just saying. We need to square that circle. While you're looking for your emails, I'm going to do one from my namesake. I wish I could die, but I can. A guy called Luke has emailed in, Pete. And it's on the subject that you like more than any other subject, I think, which is food that is no more.

Products, food products that no longer exist. And I actually remember this one. And this is from Luke, and he says, just a quick one to mention, a discontinued food from years back. You're going to like it, Donaldson. It's right in your wheelhouse. I imagine you consumed many of them. Heinz baked bean pizzas.

Oh, yeah. I seem to recall those. He says, one of my mates seems to remember these. They were around in the early 2000s and I loved the hot gooey mess. I wish Heinz would come to their senses and bring them back.

Baked beans and cheese works on a baked potato, but I'm not sure whether it works on a pizza. I reckon I might have eaten them when I was at uni. Yeah. Very good chance. While you were eating microwave cheese.

If you do want to get in touch, it's hello at Luke and Pete show dot com. You can email us about anything you like. If it piques our interest, we will read it out. It's literally anything from people who've been blowed up, shot in a drive-by, to baked beans on pizzas and everything in between.

We've got an email. shot in a drive-by to baked beans on pizzas and everything in between. We've got an email. Hello. They don't leave a name. Coward. How can you email and not leave a name? Well, I'm not going to read out their email address, but the word Kane is involved,

so they might be called Kane. Okay. I just played football with a guy called Kane. Good player. Was he able? Hello. After 114 shows I have had enough and I've unsubscribed

and I'm taking a break from your show he's only taking a break though so there's still hope for us could be a she probably a he sick of the gratuitous swearing now mainly Pete

and I've finally had enough cunt I'm not a prude I'm not a prude I swear like a sailor went on my own driving my car little swear bubble

it reminds me a bit when Bill Grundy interviewed the Sex Pistols so I'm pretty sure you fucking rotter you rotter you dirty rotter it reminds

swearing has its place and effectiveness but when overused as Pete does then it's just irritating to me anyway feel like you need

a Marcus to rein Pete in, a bit like on the Ramble, which I'll continue to listen to. I may check back in in a few months to see if there's any improvement. See ya. I mean, it's sanctimonious, isn't it? It's unnecessary, isn't it?

I don't think either of us, Pete, and I would demand that anyone listens to this load of old nonsense. We're very happy you do. We're very grateful but to email someone to let them know is I think

self-aggrandizing yeah I mean you know I mean they've run out of the email address and that's all we can be thankful for in between the cussing

if I've learnt one thing over the and I have only learnt one thing over the years of doing this he will absolutely be listening to this show oh massively

yeah and he'll hear the email and he'll email again well he wrote he will have written that email weeks ago oh massively yeah and he'll hear the email and he'll email again well he wrote he will have written that email weeks ago so he'll have had to wait for a week and a

half before his email was read he must have thought well that burns so hard yeah that they didn't sort of read it out but I did

what happens if we were so offended by that we stopped doing the show yeah so think on Cain the 42 other listeners we've got

would have missed out on that so you'd have affected the life of 42 people. So just trying to get to work, get on with their jobs, listening to us, enjoying the show, which is up to them.

And you've ruined it for him. Ken. Yeah. Listen, I'm going to do something else. Pete, that's going to be right up your street. Even more so than Heinz baked bean pizzas,

because I was disappointed with the reaction. Okay. Yeah. I'm not that into pizzas or baked beans, to be honest. This is from rich. Try some fish sausages yesterday. Disgusting, I'm not that into pizzas or baked beans, to be honest. This is from Rich. Tried some fish sausages yesterday. Disgusting. I'm going to ignore that. I'm going to try something on this. I think this is

right up your street. I'm going to say four words, and I'm going to let Rich take it away. Okay. Iron brew chew bars. Oh! Big. There we go! Oh, man. Right in the Venn diagram. When my life starts flashing towards my eyes in about ten years' time, I'm going to be like, yeah, it's that. It we go. Oh, man. Right in the Vendor ground. When my life starts flashing towards my eyes in about 10 years' time, I'm going to be like, yeah, it's that.

It's that. That and Highland Toffee. Big on the Iron Brew bars. Oh. Do you know what that's reminding me of? So aggressive. Like the most aggressive. I don't know how they were able to have those.

Because it's like a can of Iron Brew condensed into a small, stringy package of toffee. And my God, it's aggressive. They got little bits in them, I think. Oh. Good for you as well. Oh my God. It's making my mouth water and my eyes bleed just thinking about it.

Imagine what it's doing to your insides. So strong. Yeah, really flavoursome. So strong. Yeah. Like, very concentrated. Yeah. Yeah.

I was watching a video about a woman who drank, she was doing like, she'd read some quack nonsense online about someone doing a soy sauce colon cleanse sort of thing. Oh my goodness. And she thought she had some kind of, something inside her that was making her feel ill. So she drank an entire pint of soy sauce, which of course killed her brain and made her a quadriplegic

killed the brain stem and made her a quadriplegic just like that that's mad but the thing is she had she must have had some kind of

particular make up that prevented her from vomiting as well which is really weird because your body just goes like you just is the soy sauce

just from all the salt yeah I mean it's got more salt than anything in the world than salt than actual salt. Yeah. Iron brew chew bars.

Yeah, probably a fair amount of salt in there, but the sugar's very much the overwhelming taste. Well, Rich says, I've been with you since the first episode. I enjoy the show. I've emailed you twice now. First one was about getting a plastic penis in the eye during sex education. I don't remember that, but it sounds good. good he says wanting to add to the chat about discontinued

food stuff i'm throwing the iron brew chew bar your way like a wham bar but iron brew flavored um discontinued in england um as a dentist proved a human tooth would dissolve and liquidize one left for merely a few hours but not discontinued in scot Eat Riches I know that not least because my gran are proud Glaswegians continue to post us this dangerous contraband over the

border for years to come. So you must be a Wambar man as well. If I was going to take a choice Wambar or Iron Brew Bar I would definitely go

for the Iron Brew Bar. It's just oh my again every time I say it it's like a Pavlovian I'm swallowing spit. It's like a Pavlovian response. Yeah.allowing spit. It's like a Pavlovian response. I've never really been into chewy sweets. I'm more of a chocolate guy.

More than two. I'm a chocolate guy. Imagine just having more than two. Your mouth would just start furring up. If you can still get them in Scotland, send them down to Donny. I really want an Iron Brew Bar now. Email us in

and we'll give you the address Pete I think because you are salivating to such an extent we need to go yeah I think we should probably get out of here because that's our

half hour up thank you very much if you got in touch and if you are a disgruntled listener thinking about leaving the parish email it in

let us know hello at lukeandpete.com give us the information exactly what it is you hate meanwhile we'll be back. When will we be back, Pete?

Probably next time around. Yeah, Monday. Monday the 10th. Fuck off. This was a Radio Stakhanov production.