The Luke and Pete Show - Episode 125: Is that a man inside there?

Episode Date: December 17, 2018

Greetings Luke and Peters! We're back, you literally can't get rid of us. This time around, among other things, we hear about a robot presented to a robotics expo that turned out to be not quite as it seemed, we marvel and worry simultaneously about the new social points system in China, and we obviously hear from you guys, including a listener who smashed his own face in and was rescued by a man in an anorak called Lucky Pete.No, not that one. We said 'lucky'.Get in touch: hello@lukeandpeteshow,com***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Peloton all-access membership separate. Learn more at onepeloton.ca slash running. Luke, I can hear the children talking outside. Shut up, children! Invite them in, mother. Welcome to the Luke and Pete Show, number... One. Two.

Five. Five. The Intercity 125 of podcast shows. That's right. We go faster than ever before. We're on a slightly different gauge, I presume, than what came before. Possibly not. Bloody lovely to be here, though.

It is lovely to be here. Regardless of the train tracks we're operating on. Has it been a while since we recorded? I forget now. A little bit. A little bit.

17th of December, so we're gearing out to Christmas. A week tomorrow's for Christmas. Fuck. This Christmas has really got the jump on me. I've not bought any presents. I bought some...

Can I do this now? When will this come out? Before anyone sort of confuses me with someone who doesn't buy Christmas presents for people, that's Pete. Yes. I bought some can I do this now when will this come out before anyone sort of confuses me with someone who doesn't buy Christmas presents for people

that's Pete yes I'm Luke Pete please continue about how Christmas has got the jump on you this is the so this is coming out

on the 17th so I can't talk about it but I will talk about it later I got something engraved and they fucked it up

oh dear tell us more I got something engraved and the thing it up. Oh, dear. Tell us more. I got something engraved and the thing that they got engraved, the thing that they engraved scratched up the back of the thing I was getting engraved. Oh, that's annoying. Yeah, really annoying, actually. Is it for your old man? No, because I remember I got...

Your old man got your watch engraved on the back of it, right? Yeah, but I got him a watch engraved on the back of it. And they changed love you, dad to I love you dad which sounds a bit more incest a bit more full on I don't think first of all

I think it sounds like I want to fuck my dad no it doesn't it does we're not doing that we're not slightly not doing that in Christmas week

that's number one right number two it sounds fuck father Christmas though he's a father I saw mummy kissing Santa Claus

yeah as we all did no I think it's nice, but I think it's quite an intense sentiment for a gift. You'd rather just have it, I love you, dad, what you've asked for,

which is love you, dad, you know. There we go. But if you put love you, dad, it's like you're calling yourself dad. I love you, daddy. It's a minefield, this engraving thing. It is. Isn't it?

But they got the engraving, right? But they scratched up the back of the thing that I can't talk about. Life is a minefield. Anyway, look, if you're new to the show and you don't know what to expect,

that was a fairly good idea. It was particularly expensive as well. Here's a roundup of some of the things we've been discussing recently.

Snow being turned yellow in China due to pollution. Errol Flynn doing unspeakable things to animals. More er. That didn't go

down that well. Because the problem is, I think, Pete, the type of characters we are, as in, well, you know the type of characters we are. Right.

I think people think that we're endorsing it, but we're not. We're just telling people about it. I don't think anything we've really discussed that's a little bit, you know, beyond the pale

has ever come with any kind of endorsement. It's interesting because it's weird. It's interesting because it's crazy. I agree with you. Yeah, I think that's right.

What else? Internet criticism. Us being hammered on the internet by, what could I call them? Bedwetting. Incels. Losers in their parents' bedroom who've never achieved anything

in their lives themselves. Have we achieved anything in our lives? No, no. But at least we're out there talking about it. Exactly. Yeah, in a proper way. We bought some microphones. We're not insulting people

that don't deserve it. No. And bogeys. Bogeys was what we talked out there talking about it. Exactly. We bought some microphones. We're not insulting people that don't deserve it. No. And bogeys. Bogeys was what we talked about last time as well. Or as our American cousins call them. Snadolas. Oh, fucking no. Boogers.

Boogers, exactly. And if you're a regular listener, if you're a regular listener to this show, you are, as always, very welcome. We're grateful and very glad to have you along. As Graham Taylor, arguably the greatest England manager, once said, put your feet up in front of the telly and have a good time.

Nice. Oh, he's such a nice bloke. What's been floating in your boat? I'm just still angry about the soup. Yeah, I can tell you that. Yeah, so earlier on, Pete tried to buy some soup. It took ages to get it from the work canteen. Two people who work there,

I actually hold them in very high esteem, but Pete doesn't like them. I do like them. And then they charged him £8.50 for the privilege. Now, if you're listening to this outside of one of the main

city-state capitals of the world, you will find that an obscene amount of money. Let me just make it clear to you, it's an obscene amount of money in London as well. Just a bit of soup.

All you need to do, put it in a cup for me. I'll drink it cold. I'll pretend it's gazpacho. But no. There we go. There's just no need for it. Just get it done.

Did you see this thing about this high-tech Russian robot? What? Oh, yes, I did, actually. So a robot in Russia hailed as the latest in cutting-edge technology has been as unmasked as a man in a suit. Why hasn't someone done this before? Exactly. If someone said, Pete, you've got three years to come up with a robot, technology has been as unmasked as a man in a suit. I mean, that... Why hasn't someone done this before? Exactly! Like, if someone said,

Pete, you've got three years to come up with a robot, I'd be like, I'll do it in a month. No, I'll tell you what you'd do. I'll give you that egg box. Two years, 11 months and three weeks,

you'd do absolutely nothing. Someone would remind you or you'd get a reminder on your phone with a message that didn't make any sense. Then about a day before you'd remember

and you'd end up wearing a cardboard suit not even that I'd just buy some spray paint yeah silver spray paint hello poison yourself

the idea of this robot I think was unveiled at a sort of some sort of trade fair well not more than that I think it was like

an actual robot sort of convention yeah so look at all these robots but I like the I wish I was there

for when it was unveiled yeah and the man who was playing the robot in the suit was asked a question yeah

because what how would you how would you approach that well pretend I'm a robot ask me a question okay are you sure this person here

sorry are you sure this robot here is actually a robot because it looks a bit like a person in a suit hello Mr. Robot are you a person I am an artificial intelligence being because it looks a bit like a person in a suit. Hello, Mr. Robot. Are you a person?

I am an artificial intelligence being. And the fact that you saw me in the urinals earlier is me getting rid of oil. My joints were too oily. Please do not confuse an oil change with your human urination. It was an oil duct. I was expelling yellow oil from my joints.

I love the idea that the arrogance of unveiling it at a robot expo. Yeah, because people would be all fair with robots. Exactly. Apparently, instantly, people in the front row were questioning the android's lack of external sensors and why it was making moves so quickly and making so many

unnecessary movements. Because that's obviously what a robot's not going to do, is it? A robot's not going to look at its watch in the middle of a dance move. A piezo, is it a piezo motor? I forget what the motors they use, the little ones to make them move. Yeah, there's no need for it to wobble around or, I don't know. I mean, to be honest, if I was a robot, I would be retreating fairly quickly so people couldn't look at me.

Apparently the company insisted that they'd not try and pass off the robot as real, despite it being described as such on television. Well we did say it was a robot. Oh I love it. I like it when forced for comment

the CEO of that company just went in a way we're all robots. Aren't we all robots really? And that's the statement.

That's a brilliant story that. Another thing I wanted to ask you about in another area of the world that you're particularly, well

not particularly interested in but an area of the world you are interested in habit china right have you seen this social points system uh yes i have what you like so if you're naughty if you have traffic violations if you speak out it's like that bryce bryce dallas howard episode of black mirror oh i'm not seeing oh Black Mirror? I've not seen. Oh, God, that is Bryce Dallas Howard. Holy shit. Yeah. Oh, she was good in that, wasn't she? You thought it was a robot.

It was just Bryce Dallas Howard. I've interviewed her. She's really nice. And I've just realised that was her. So for those listening who haven't seen this, in China there's apparently a state-sponsored points system has been rolled out where each citizen in the project starts out on a thousand points

and if they are caught doing things wrong. Like an Uber rating. Yeah, it goes down and obviously you can put it up and I don't really know what the upshot of it is because in that Black Mirror episode you would suddenly start being excluded from social functions or you would be going to certain shops

or bars or restaurants or whatever. I don't know what they're planning to do with it but i i think it's probably a bad idea i mean it's up there with their other um thing of face recognition facial recognition uh in the major cities where i think at one point somebody very famous got arrested or certainly um it was revealed that she'd parked in a incorrect parking bear and she was pilloried online because she'd done it. But what actually had happened, the camera scanning technology had scanned the side of a bus.

She was part of an advert on the side of the bus. Oh, right. And she was exposed as committing some crime. Well, no, it's not foolproof. I mean, there's those two things that the Chinese are doing, and then there's locking up 800 Muslims. I mean, that's very much worse than the points system, to be honest. There are problems across the board, though.

I mean, you can't just say, oh, they're doing worse things, so this idea is no longer worthy of concern. No, but I would definitely say locking up 800,000 Muslims as being more problematic. Well, you just said 800, now it's 800,000. I meant in my head 800,000. Wow, that is a lot. Every one person counts as 1,000.

Yeah, it's a lot. And it doesn't seem to be a massive problem for people. It's interesting the psyche of that, isn't it? Because we do in the West massively undervalue the idea of tragedy, of death, of horrible things, if it's not happening to fellow Westerners. Yeah. I wonder why that is.

Because we don't identify with them as much, maybe? Human nature, isn't it, really, I guess. Because you identify with people who are similar to you. Yeah, massively. Like, you sort of look at terrorist atrocities in, the difference between a terrorist atrocity in, I don't know, Istanbul compared to, was it Frankfurt, The one a couple of days ago. Yes.

It's kind of like we all do it. We all sort of go, Oh, Turkey seems like a lot further away. And it is kind of, but you just sort of think that's not affecting me quite so much. Yeah. But people at a Christmas market,

that kind of is, cause that's the sort of thing I would do. More relatable. More relatable. There we go. It's very sad. Anyway, on that,

on that terrible note, anything else you want to bring to the table Pete that you've been doing I've mainly been recording podcasts every sort of three or four records you say this yeah I know I have what are you doing for Christmas

editing podcasts no I'm going up north my niece is going to be down I'm going to try and win her affections with she really likes balls and cards so I'm going to get a lot of

balls and cards do some magic tricks. Yes, definitely. Yeah, no, she's... She's 21, though, isn't she? She's a little sweetie. And I want to curry her favour, because last time I met her,

she was screaming every time I spoke. Not an effect. Happens to everyone, doesn't it? Happens to me every time I realise I've got to do a show with you. I'm surprised people can actually listen to this podcast when they stop screaming. Indeed.

All right, well, listen, why don't we have a little break, a little breaksicle. And afterwards, we will get stuck into some emails because we've got quite a few to get through, Pete. And I can't wait to get started. Hey, y'all, it's Farmer Meemaw. And today, I'm going to show you what I've been doing to take care of the pantry moth situation. Found a moth in my sock drawer. Oh, yeah?

This week. Tell me more. Don't start on them. Have you not had enough of my suits? Little pricks. I've never once seen a moth in my house.

Maybe a cat ate them all? Let me rephrase that. I've seen plenty of moths in my house, but I've never seen a moth in the wardrobe or anything. Tiny little moths. Because I always thought

moths on this podcast quite a lot, but I always thought that moths were like the big moths. But they don't seem to be the most problematic ones. It's the little clothes moths that are little bastards. Oh, right, so they're really small ones, are they?

Yeah, little tiny gold ones. Right. And they leave a little, like most moths, they leave that dusty mark. What about this, Peter? I am going to jump straight into an email which is not about moths, but it is from listener Ash,

who says, Arf and Chapsaps your teeth talk in an episode a short while ago reminded me of my own particular dance with the dentistry devil that i thought you might like i could have only been nine or ten but still old enough to know better of course and during a visit to my grandparents place up north my brother and i were playing in a park which was a short walk down an alley at the back of a house and over a railway bridge. Being fairly hyperactive children, we've been told to go and have a play in the park during a stereotypical northern deluge to give the adults some peace and quiet,

and we picked up the glistening new halfpipe as the best place for a run around. As you might expect, after a short while, I tried to run up the side of the halfpipe, slipped on the steel, and smashed my face in. A little dazed, I stood up, cut my hands in my mouth to assess the damage, and was startled to see that my hands were rapidly filling with blood.

My immediate instinct was to catch as much of the blood as I could. I'm not sure why. Please tell me you drank it. Could they put it back in me? Which turned out to be a great move, as a few moments later, I managed to catch one and a half of my two front teeth. Admittedly, this is all pretty grim, but the good bit is actually my brother's

reaction to the unfolding drama. Startled by all the blood, he quickly ran back to the house to proclaim that I'd had a fall. I love that. Had a fall. Had a fall. It's all he said about an old person. An old person, yeah.

And there's loads of bloods and they had better come quickly. They asked why he didn't bring me back in with him, only for him to calmly reply, it's okay. I've left him in the park with a man in an anorak. As a little bit of context, it was only a few weeks after the awful Soham abductions

and the murders had hit the news so it's fair to say that my parents weren't at all reassured by my brother's words. More than a nittle alarm, they came running over

the bridge to find lots of blood but no child. You're kidding me. Oh no. All's well that ends well though and some local lads having a kick about

noticed my parents heightening dismay And asked Are you looking for the lad Lucky Pete took him Over the infirmary His name was Lucky Pete The man in the anorak

Was indeed Lucky Pete The owner of the local Fish and chip shop Who from that day Always gives me A free portion of chips And asks about my teeth During every subsequent visit

Aww They're just fine thanks Lucky Pete Just fine That's Ash That is a lovely story could have gone both ways

that look couldn't it? Ash leaves a little PS in there he says potential listener feature suggesting names

for each of your autobiographies my efforts are Pete Donaldson The Goodness Me Chronicles and Luke Moore Rodden to the Core

in honour of your fine work on the Ramble you need to listen to the Football Ramble to understand that he says he'd love to hear other listener suggestions. If you want to suggest names for our potential autobiography,

please do. If you found a child bleeding in the forest. But it didn't make a sound. What would you do? Yeah. What would you do? Would you find the parents first or would you take them straight to the infirmary?

What era do you reckon that story is? What era? Oh, I don't know. When was the storm? Oh, of course it's dated. The reason I say that nothing to do with that it's purely because

back in my day when I was a tut lad when I was a tut lad there were no half pipes in playgrounds good point yeah that's a very late that's a Tony Hawk

inspired thing that's OPM's fault yeah they only started coming out they only started coming into parks when OPM heaven was a half pipe

heaven was a half pipe came out and when Tony Hawk pro skater 2 went massive right do you remember a half pipe in was a halfpipe came out and when Tony Hawk Pro Skater 2 went massive right do you remember a halfpipe in your school playground no I remember there was one

in the nightclub that I used to frequent when I was in Leicester hang on whoa a halfpipe in a nightclub perilous I know well skaters on it

skaters on it yeah yeah because it was like a skate club and they played like well it was open late it was open until four o'clock in the morning

did they sell alcoholic beverages they did people were just you know getting pissed what a combination and drunk people would have a

you know when you're drunk you go that looks easy I'll do that the amount of I actually skate better when I'm drunk the amount of

older men I never did it myself surprisingly but the thing is that I remember when they said it had been installed and it

was like a year before I joined university. It was still there two years after I left university. What's that, 2004, something like that? Yeah, so it had been there for about six years and it had never been repaired. So when the trucks had hit the side of the, it was a quarter pipe, hit the side of the quarter pipe, over the years it would just break. Red Bull installed it back in the day yeah because it is extreme yeah um and uh people would just catch so

people would sort of put their trucks down and obviously it would just catch because it was a big hole in the bloody quarter pipe and they would stack it every single time it was a useless piece of shit by the end of it a more innocent time though a more innocent time when edgelord meant something completely different. I wonder what Edgelord would have meant back then. Have you got an email Peter? Yes I have got an email. I want to talk about Tencent B&A. Is that alright? Go mate by all means. It's a

kind of a men car but we're putting it in there anyway. Matt Viney. Yo Vinster what's going on? Oh is Matt Viney the guy whose wife is friends with my sister? Yes. I'll end with that. I'll start with that quarter. Also, apparently, when my wife lived in Poole when she was younger, she used to be very close friends with Luke's sister.

I asked if there were any funny stories about Luke, and she simply replied, not really. He was pretty boring. Nice to see I made an impression. Is your sister older or younger than you? Younger. Ah. Five and a bit younger.

I always remember my mate's sister's best friend once told a bouncer when we were like 16 we're trying to get in the west nightclub told the bouncer that we weren't old enough that's annoying never forgiven her what still annoyed still annoyed absolute snitch what a monster yeah so because i'm quite a bit older i imagine i think this girl in question is friends with my sister from school.

Right. And so. How much older are you? Five and a half years almost. Jeez, so your mum and dad were

like, we're not doing that again. Yeah, basically. We're not fucking doing that again. And so when they were hanging out, maybe they're 12,

13, I was already doing my thing. I was probably at uni by then. Only doing my thing. I was already doing my thing. I was on a new

ting by then. Well, Matt's enjoying the's uh but it doesn't mean he can't email by the way no we're perfectly capable of emailing i'm very welcome to do so you know me if i've slated you in any way um anything that's not actionable by any law court in the land um i'm willing to be um slagged off yeah wanker matt viney uh join the shop and have been catching up on back episodes while spending

an early winter working in the North Sea wow okay it's just gone from knowing a person who knows

Luke Moose's sister to working in the North Sea it's hard to know which one's better it's plateaued there yeah and recently

discovered the magic of 10 cent beer night the Cleveland Indians in 1974 attempted to bring in a big crowd with 10 cent beers. Imagine doing that in England. Imagine. There would be deaths.

Like literal deaths. 10 cent beer night was a promotion held by the Major League Baseball team Cleveland Indians during a game against the Texas Rangers at Cleveland Stadium, Tuesday, June 4th, 1974. So nice and warm. People are getting hot and angry. Pete, just have a little guess. How many brewskis

were pounded that afternoon? How much froth was blown off a few frosty ones then? The idea behind the promotion was to attract more fans to the game, offering 12 fluid ounces. Only 3.2% beer as well.

Not strong beer. 10 cents each, though. Substantial discount on the regular price of 65 cents with a limit of six beers per purchase. So, like, in London, beers, they're six quid. Minimum nowadays. 12 fluid ounces is just over half a pint, I think. So, say it was like a quid for what you'd normally pay for a beer.

No limit on the number of purchases made during the game. Love that. During the game. No limit. I know. During the game love that during the game no limit I know during the game fans became heavily intoxicated because

you know baseball goes on for fucking hours and it's boring and all you can do is drink in my case the last baseball

match I went to see I just constantly consumed dipping dots which is my favourite cold candy are you banned? no I'm not banned I'm just kidding

it was one of those matches that was like 0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-1. Right. They won it at the very end. And you are someone who, within these circles at least, famously eats candy and chocolate

like it's food. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like it's sustenance. So you must have got through some of that. I did it yesterday. Because work, everyone just gets sent

loads of ket and I just piled through just loads and loads of Cadbury's Roses. I mean, you probably shouldn't say ket. What do you mean? I'm going to short for ketamine. No, it's not. In the North East, ket is sweet.

Candy. Candy. All right, okay. I didn't know that. I mean, I was on ket. Just take that as a baseline. I'm microdosing ket. I mean, I was awake, wasn't I?

Yeah, so I was on ket. During the game, Fazio came in heavily intoxicated, culminating in, wasn't I? Yeah, so I don't care. During the game, Fazio came in heavily intoxicated, culminating in a riot in the ninth inning, which caused the game to be forfeited due to the crowd's uncontrollable rowdiness because the game could not be resumed in a timely manner.

And it kind of was caused by the fact that everybody hated each other. Fan animosity from a previous game combined with low-point beer being sold cheaply and liberally. People just went absolutely crazy.

It was a massive riot, wasn't it? It was a massive, massive riot. In Texas, the trouble had started in the bottom of the fourth inning

with a walk to the Rangers. Tom Greve followed by a Lenny Randall single. The next bat, I'm just talking nonsense here. I have no idea what's going on here. But either way,

it just got very, very angry. People started brawling. Both benches emptied for a brawl. The coaches returned to the dugout and were struck by food and beer hurled by the Rangers fans. Catcher Dave Duncan had to be restrained from going into the stands to brawl with the fans. Wow.

The game was not suspended or forfeited. No players from either team were ejected, and the Rangers won 3-0. After the game game a Cleveland reporter asked Rangers manager Billy Martin are you going to take your armour to Cleveland I mean

so this was the previous match before it even got kicked off so there we go I like the NBC newscast that Tim Russett who was then a student attended the game

and later said I went with two2 in my pocket, you do the maths. Love that. Fantastic. Excellent stuff. Yeah. Hargrove,

after subduing one rioter in a fist fight, had to fight another on his way back to the Texas dugout. Do you remember, thanks for that, Matt. Do you remember...

Batteries and radios were thrown. What batteries though? What brand? Yeah, come on guys. We need to know the details. Get it together. N.M.wikipedia.org

you're not just going to throw away a a good quality full charge Duracell are you I remember back in the day when I still lived at home

there was those £10 on the door or £20 on the door or you can drink nights did you get involved in that in Hartlepools there was no all you can drink

that happens in like kind of party cities doesn't it that happens in like Tormelinos no there wasn't Gos no oil you can drink. That happens in like kind of party cities, doesn't it? That happens in like Tormolinos. No, there was in Gosport. What? You just drink all you want? You'd pay £20 to get in or whatever it would be. Actually, I think one of the places in Gosport was £10. Decent.

To get in. And I think the only sort of protocol involved was that you had to take your previous receptacle back to get another one. So you couldn't go I'm having eight of them at once but they would do it that way

and so it was always rude. Big queues? Big queues? To be honest I remember having a pretty good but drunken time but looking back on it it's

quite depressing it's quite bleak. I just sort of think that like 70 because people sort of pre-game now aren't they but I remember 70s nights you would always get a

pint for 70p and that was always kind of quite boozy. That's at uni though, right? That kind of stuff. No, I was in Hartlepool. That's just at baseball games in Hartlepool, right? Well, people like bats.

The Hartlepool monkey hangers. What about this from Steve in Derbyshire? This is quite controversial, this one, Pete. I'm very interested in your thoughts. Luke and Pete, the Luke and the Pete, my girlfriend and I found a wallet containing 350 euros. Whoa. thoughts um luke and pete um the luke and the pete my girlfriend and i found a wallet containing

350 euros whoa wedged behind a fold-up seat on an early morning train into amsterdam said wallet contained only the crisp notes and a single id card issued by a local casino it appeared to belong to a gentleman in his late 20s now check this out this is where it gets controversial on the basis that someone who could ill afford to lose such a significant amount would be more careful, we pocketed the euros and then took the wallet to a local police station, which I admit is a decidedly

half-assed approach to civic responsibility, but I've not regretted it nor felt a shred of guilt since. Best regards, Steve Derbyshire. I think that is quite poor. What do you mean? Taking the €350 but giving the wallet back. So he's had the wallet in

but he's taken the money. How old is he? Doesn't say. If he's under 25 I think it's allowed. Why? Because you don't have any money when you're that rich.

They don't say that in the law. When you're that young. They don't say that in the law. Under 25 you should be able to keep it. I would have appreciated that kind of scratch. Would you have done that?

No, I wouldn't. I would have given it back. I probably would have put more money in. You would have. You would have. I kind of scratch. Would you have done that? No, I wouldn't. I would have given it back. I probably would have put more money in. You would have. You would have. I'll tell you what. Someone lost their wallet when you were on the prowl. It'd be their lucky day.

Prowl. They'd end up having more money than they started with. I worry about... I've told you, I was in... Steve, I think that's poor, but I'll put it out to the listenership. Hello at LukeandPetra.com if you've got an opinion on that.

Personally, it's not something I would have done. I was at the Absolute Radio Christmas party yesterday. No, day before yesterday. Probably why my voice is ruined. But I feel really bad for the people who work the toilets to sell their lollipops,

do the sprays. They still have those in London. I've not seen one of those guys for ages. Yeah, I mean, you wouldn't think you'd have them in a Christmas party, but we're in a club. No Armani, no Punani, those guys. Yeah, if you want you'd have them in a Christmas party, but we're in a club. No Armani, no Punani, those guys.

Yeah, if you want to get some, I'm going to say it, pussy freshen up. Yeah. I don't get any either. That was best. Apologies. And yeah,

nobody has any cash anymore. Nobody has any cash. Oh, it's true. Same with homeless people, same with this, same with buskers. No one carries cash anymore and I just feel dreadful all the time. Nobody has any cash. Oh, it's true. Yeah. Same with homeless people, same with this, same with buskers. No one carries cash anymore, and I just feel dreadful all the time. There'll be someone out there, some smart Elon Musk startup kind of guy,

calling a otherwise respectable diver a paedophile. No. There will be someone out there like Elon Musk who will be developing some sort of card contactless no-cash system that homeless people, that manual labourers, workers can sign up to. Well, me and Lord Rambletalk spoke about this about four years ago. I remember it, yeah.

That we should do this. But the problem being is knowing people like mine, I'm going to use my mum and dad as a good example. They're not a good example of many things, but a good example of this. They are constantly scared that people are going to try and steal their money all the time. All the time, they constantly worry that there are viruses

on the machine. My dad runs bi-daily virus scans. Which in themselves are arguably viruses. Well, not an antivirus. It's like a fucking virus. All it does is yap, doesn't it? Have you updated your fucking virus definitions? Fuck off.

But the thing is, the thing that actually catches people out are people just clicking stuff on emails and just being silly. That's how people get caught out. But I just don't think people are going to use those because they don't trust people not to take, you know, the buzzy thing might say,

I've only taken a couple of quid. The buzzy thing might take more than that because people might think they can hack into them and stuff like that. What's a buzzy thing? Like a contactless card machine sort of thing. So I've seen buskers have those.

I've seen like a, I can't remember what they're called, but like the buzzy buzz buzz. And I've seen buskers use those, but I don't think the vast proportion of people would trust people who they don't know.

So what's the solution then, Pete? Don't give me problems, give me solutions. The Tories not closing all the fucking hostels maybe having a minimum wage that people can

actually fucking live on what else is there what is Sam doing out there is he playing with he's changing the water machine changing the water machine in the middle of a record he's an idiot

in the middle of a record he's an idiot who does he think he is cameraman Sam thinks he runs this place he's carrying it like Hercules like he's got the weight

like Atlas the Atlas stone who put the glad in gladiator Hercules oh what's that the weight like Atlas the Atlas stone who put the glad in gladiator Hercules oh what's that Disney isn't it that's nice

Disney's Hercules that's a lit video for you to be watching Mimi loves them I hate to get a bit Elon Musk on you but

she loves Disney so I'll get involved get involved before we go what an unlovable cartoon I've helped you out of a jam there

because you've not solved the homeless problem like I asked you to before we go, I've helped you out of a jam there because you've not solved the homeless problem like I asked you to. Before we go, what about this from, oh, he's not left his name. Pete mentioned that Iron Brew Bars

had little bits in them. I don't think they did. No, you did. Oh, did I? You did, and I was like, I went along with it, but then I later thought, no, it's a Wambar.

I think I said that Wambars did. You're conflicting. Anyway, this email says, maybe are you thinking of desperate Dan bars oh yeah orange colour and flavour but full of black sugar crystals they were brilliant

discontinued over health foods they were black sugar you must love a desperate Dan bar don't you don't do you that's a lot to answer for don't they

DC Thompson and Co this is from Jay hey I can send you down some Iron Brew bars if you give me the address alright what's our address I'll email you back, Jay.

Well, just sit here and then... It's the best perk of the job Pete's ever had, that. Yeah, it's... What do we send it to? Where do we live? Screenworks. Yeah, don't say it on the radio, you idiot. All right.

I'll email him back. All right. Last time we met, we got two massive boxes of noodles that no one wants. I've been pying through them. Have you? Well, take them home with you then. All right, I will. They've been hanging around...

I'll pick up the box while you're fucking recording something. Yeah, exactly. That's the dumb thing around here. Unbelievable. It'll probably set the fire on him off in a minute. Right, that's all we've got time for for episode 125 of The Luke and Pete Show. If you want to get in touch and suggest something for us to talk about or just get something off your chest.

Get it off your chest. It's hello at lukeandpeteshow.com. We'd bloody love to hear from you. Say goodbye, Mr. Peter Donaldson, a.k.a. The Pete. Bye-bye. And it's goodbye from me as well. We'll see you next time around. This was a Radio Stakhanov production.

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