The Luke and Pete Show - Episode 126: Giving yourself a mountain to climb

Episode Date: December 20, 2018

Hello to you all! You're very welcome in the Land of Luke and Pete. If you do visit us, expect to experience tales of a remarkable man climbing a huge rock, and the following:- Monkeys stealing crisps- Weird flavours of ice cream- Raw chicken- Things your mum steals from work...and that's just one email. Elsewhere, there's discontinued food products, more on porn star Ben Dover and much, much more. Don't sleep on it.Talk to us: [e-mail]***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This is a Radio Stakhanov production. I'm Pete Donaldson. I'm joined by Luke Moher. We should talk about Stakhanov. Stakhanov. We have liftoff. He was a Russian propaganda image, wasn't he? Vehicle. He was a Russian propaganda image, wasn't he?

Vehicle. He was a man who dug out more coal than anyone else in one day and he was kind of held up as being this great Soviet icon

because he was really, really good at digging coal out and he worked harder than anybody else and he was a real poster boy for working hard. He broke the record

for about a coal shovel and a shift and mining and a shift. Why we've called our company that, I don't know. I'll tell you why. Why. I'll tell you why. Why?

I'll tell you why. Because my friend Duncan and I had the idea. By the way, this is the Luke and Pete show, episode 126. That's Pete, I'm Luke. We don't have to get stuck

straight into it. So we make no apology for that. My friend Duncan and I had the idea for Stakhanov as a really cool name for something back in the day when I was working in music

and we were quite at the start of our own record label, which we were going to call Stakhanov Industries, which is what our email addresses are now, right? But then because we then repositioned it around an audio company, we thought we'd change it to Radio Stakhanov, and that's where it came from. I mean, you should know that.

I should really know that. You're one of the shareholders of the company. You should know that. I just heard a man who does a lot of hard work, and I didn't want any part of it. No, exactly. I just want to get out. I mean, you man who does a lot of hard work, and I didn't want any part of it. No, exactly. I just want to get out. I mean, you're very naturally talented, Peter,

and for that I'll give you credit, but I am not. So a lot of my stuff comes down to hard work, and that's probably why. Okay. So I'm like the Diego Maradona. No, Ronaldinho. Yeah. And you're Ronald Koeman.

Yeah. Yeah. You like that? Yeah. Although I think it's a stretch for you, but it certainly fits for me. Rude. How you been doing, mate?

What's been going on? Been all right. Keeping busy? Yeah. Got over your engraving problems of last time around? I'm fucking angry. Why did you have to remind me of that? Don't talk about that, no.

I'm furious. Bloody furious, I am. Yeah. We can talk about that now, I think. Okay. All right. I got a watch engraved. Okay, all right.

And they scratched the fuck out of the back of it so you're going to get it redone presumably you can't no because it's already scratched it I can't engrave

the scratches out unless I make like a really ornate design cover it all in engraving like a tattoo cover but it's a bit like Father Ted's car isn't it

where he starts there's a little ding and he starts tapping the side of it until the whole car is covered in dings I think about that and it allows you a lot isn't it? Where he starts, there's a little ding and he starts tapping the side of it until the whole car is covered in dings. I think about that analogy a lot. Isn't it strange that, who's the creator of Father Ted?

Oh, what's he, the Graham Linehan? Graham Linehan. He's, he's gone a bit fucking bad shit, hasn't he? Stop swearing. You're swearing so much recently.

What do you mean? Saying shit. You swear all the time. You can say that on the radio. You can literally say shit on the radio. You swear all the time. Carry on, what were you going to say? So what? I'm making it spicy. Graham the time. You can say that on the radio. You can literally say shit on the radio. You swear all the time. Carry on. What were you going to say?

So what? I'm making it spicy. Graham Linehan. This ain't your mama's podcast. Bitch. What's Graham Linehan done? I don't know anything about him. He's become incredibly anti-trans.

He thinks that the transsexual community are against him. And he just constantly... He's turned the weirds against us. He's turned the trans against us. Right. Can I just say, I know nothing about him other than the fact that he's turned the trans against us right can I just say I know nothing about him other than the fact that he's a comedy writer

and when I asked you what he's done I think I probably could have had a thousand guesses there before you thought you'd have said that before he's isolated himself

I thought you were going to say he's got involved with Brexit or something yeah no no no he's uh yeah I think he's sort of he's one of those men

of an older generation who's just a bit confused and scared even though none of it has anything to do with him but he still feels I think he's sort of, he's one of those men of an older generation who's just a bit confused and scared, even though none of it has anything to do with him, but he still feels the need to comment.

Don't worry about it, yeah, just get on with your own life. Are you, are you, do you feel like you're, you could be someone better? Do you feel like you're

in the wrong body? No? Then don't fucking worry about anyone else's then. Yeah. Just fucking leave it, Graham. Again,

swearing, I'm into swearing. I don't care. I want to talk, I didn't fucking worry about anyone else's then. Yeah. Just fucking leave it, Graham. Again, swearing. Remember the swearing. I don't care. I didn't come here not to swear. Put that on your gravestone. Yeah. I want to talk about something completely different, but I think nonetheless very, very interesting.

It's out now because by the time this show comes out, it would have been well out. But last week, I went to a special premiere of the film Free Solo. What is that now? It is one of the finest documentary films I've ever seen. And it's a profile of the rock climber Alex Honnold, who became in June of last year the first man to, or the first person, to free solo climb El Capitan,

which is the largest... Operating system. No. Yeah. Well, I think that's what it's named after. It's the largest rock in Yosemite National Park. It's a beauty. Didn't a bit of it fall off recently, El Capitan?

He's open, not. I've been to Yosemite and it's lovely. It's quite beautiful. Well, it's 3,200 foot rock. So roughly for those of you residing in London or surrounding areas, it's about three and a rock. So roughly for those of you residing in London or surrounding areas, it's about three and a half times the height of the Shard. Shit.

And he climbed it on his own with no ropes. It is honestly absolutely remarkable. It is a remarkable film of a remarkable achievement. That's the thing, isn't it? Like you... I come away from it thinking this man should be thought of in the same bracket as you know roger bannister and usain bolt and you know neil armstrong it's absolutely

ridiculous what he's done i mean i'm watching the trailer this looks disgusting i mean he he he he he becomes this guy i don't like that he becomes this guy it's hard enough to what it's hard to watch. It really is. I guess you're just waiting in front of a bloody fall, aren't you? It's finger strength.

Wow. The whole movie is essentially geared up towards him achieving this thing. Yeah. And to put it in perspective,

no one really knows anything about rock climbing, broadly speaking. So, you know, if you and I did a rock climbing podcast, not many people are going to listen to it. But to put it in perspective... We'd have a go.

I mean, my power to weight ratio is appalling. There's no way I'm going to get anywhere. But it is a complete outlier in terms of the achievement within the field. And it transcends the field of how good it is. And the interesting thing about the film itself, I mean, the achievement speaks for itself. You can go and look it up

and find out exactly what it's all about. about the film itself, I mean, the achievement speaks for itself. You can go and look it up and find out exactly what it's all about. But the film itself succeeds in telling a story of a man who is, in many ways, it sounds like a cliche, but it's absolutely true, a man who is far more comfortable 2,000 feet in the air on his own, hanging off a rock, than he is talking to other people, than he is interacting with other human beings does he think about like stuff when he's doing well interestingly enough after watching the movie i'll be there was a q a with him and the director and he was asked that question in that q

a and he said um you're so focused uh that you that you don't really think about an awful lot particularly on the hard parts but because. Because that rock is so... The hard parts! No, but it's true. Relatively speaking, there are hard parts and easy parts to that. And that relativity is very far away from any frame of reference I would ever have.

No, but you say that, but at some points on that rock, he is literally walking up little ledges and stuff. Right. But anyway, he's on the bits where he's able to think. He's thinking about his partners and his friends who've helped him because there's a lot of training involved.

But I'll come on to the Q&A bit in a minute because he's an interesting guy but one thing the film does succeed in doing is is is telling the story of him as a human being and the reason he started free soloing is because and freestyling is the act of climbing rocks without a partner without any ropes the reason he started doing that is because he was so socially awkward at the start of his climbing interest that he found it easier to climb on his own to ask someone else to climb with him because he was very scared of interaction with other people So his only friend is the cliff?

Well halfway through the movie he gets a girlfriend and she's obviously very nervous about what he's doing I swear you were going to say got then He's got a got on a dam He climbs with a go. No, he gets a girlfriend and that obviously becomes a lot more complicated because the art of free soloing is that,

sorry, not the art, the protocol and the sort of, the way you do it is if you are about to free solo something, you don't tell anyone

you're going to do it. Oh really? Yeah, for a number of reasons. Well, partly because if you say you're going to do it to people and you end up not doing it

and they don't hear from you, then, you know, it can be difficult but also not only that most importantly because it is so dangerous yeah that if you say you're going to do it and the next morning you plan to do it and then someone comes up to you and says oh you look great you look in great form but you don't feel great you'll you'll start making decisions you shouldn't make for the wrong reason and you're basically you'll die and the best way to the two two ways of summing up this pursuit one summing up the film and the specific achievement and the other

one in terms of free soloing generally it is a truism that people who get into free solo climbing essentially do it until they die right because eventually they do die because they get too old and if you look at the people who have died they're like 55 and their bodies just can't do it and they just fall. Yeah. Secondly, the best way of describing this particular achievement in this movie, Free Solo,

about Al Capitan is summed up by a colleague, Climber of His, who helps him with his training and says the best way to explain it is think of the hardest sporting discipline you can think of and then think about trying to win

the gold medal at the Olympics in that discipline and if you don't, you die. That's basically what it is. It is honestly a remarkable piece of work. It's beautifully shot. It's amazingly told. The problems they have in the production of the film

are told within the documentary itself. So it becomes almost like quite a self-referencing film because they can't interfere with him in any way to the point of where they can't really even be in his eye line when he's doing it and they're in this ridiculous situation where they're making a film about him trying to do his ambition of eight or ten years as a climber but they don't actually know he's going to do it or not and they can't persuade him or dissuade him from doing it or not doing it not only that they have to film it from on the mountain with drones and with um other experienced professional climbers who are the

only people who can be considered as camera people because it's too dangerous otherwise the director is called jimmy chin he's a he's a climber of some repute as well he free solos himself they can't be in his island at any point honestly and they become very good friends with him over the year or two they're filming it so they're worried for him it's so dangerous it's honestly it's an absolute roller coaster ride it. It's a brilliant achievement. It's a brilliant film. It's called Free Solo. It's produced by National Geographic and you should watch it because I would be stunned if it doesn't

at least get considered for the Oscar next year. I watched a trailer while you were talking then and I don't ever want to see that trailer again. There's a bit in it, right? It's disgusting. It becomes clear very early on that he does it and because they talk about it in the intro because it's about the achievement, not about the cliff.

Yeah. Pun intended cliffhanger, if I do, it does or not, because if he doesn't do it, he's going to be dead and he's not dead. So, you know,

he did it, but there's, um, there's a bit in it where he breaks the rock down into different sections. Okay. And so one section at 600 feet is this, and then one at 1200 feet is this. And this is one about two thirds up called the boulder problem,

right? Where they can't work out a route of how to get around it without having to do one of the following two things the gap is about six to eight feet yeah but there's nothing to hold on to so you either put your leg out in what's called a karate kick where you put your leg as high as you can and you fall and your leg um grip your foot grips on the other side, but you're falling. It's an act of falling with no ropes, right? Yeah. Well, the second one is, you literally jump from one side to the other

with no ropes. And he says himself, he's the finest free climber of all time, and he says himself, in a really interesting moment of sort of clarity, he says to the camera, you know, the karate kick technique isn't ideal. The feeling of falling is not something you ever want when you're focused on a climb like this.

But I mean, jumping when you've got no rope, I mean, it just seems obscene. That's what he says. That's what he says. I just, I would, what happens if he gets like halfway? It's like buying, you know, those big tubs of Greek yogurt in the supermarket. Okay. And you're halfway through and you're those big tubs of Greek yogurt in the supermarket? Okay. And you're halfway through and you're like, I wanted some Greek yogurt. Yeah.

But I didn't want all of this carton. But you've got to finish it. But you've got to finish it. And if you don't, you die. Well, yeah. There's nothing, there's no, the thing about it is. It's horrible, Luke. Yeah, there's no. I don't know why you put yourself through that film, to be honest.

There's no easy way to try and get across to people who haven't seen the film how high it is and how dangerous it is, but also how the margin for error is literally non-existent. It's not like, oh, do you know what? I got halfway up and I had to stop. Yeah. It's nothing. It's just in a shorts and T-shirt.

That's all he's in. And a pair of shoes. That's it. And a little chalk. A little bit of spit and a bit of chalk. Yeah, that's it. What if he runs out of chalk? Anyway, he's prepared for that. That's it. And a little, little, um, chalk. Yeah, that's it. What if he runs out of chalk?

Anyway, he's prepared for that. He's going to do that. Oh, cheating. Do you know how long it took him to do it? Chalky cheater. I'll give you a little,

I'll give you a little bit of info. Then you tell me how long you think it took him to do it. Yeah. A third of the way up, he comes across a group of other climbers who are camped on the rock. Okay. Because they've got a third up. So they're camping overnight.

How long do you reckon it took him to do the whole thing? 3,200 feet it's really hard for me not to be very accurate because I just saw it in the trailer

oh 3 hours 56 minutes I thought it would take them like all day don't worry about spoilers as Pete's just said

all that stuff's in the trailer you've got to watch it for the movie it is not because you're not worried about what comes next

don't watch it it sounds horrible it's amazing it is one of the finest documentaries I've ever seen if not the best I've ever seen and comes next. Don't watch it. It sounds horrible. It's amazing. It is one of the finest documentaries I've ever seen, if not the best I've ever seen, and I'd happily

watch it again. It's amazing. It's brilliant. Anyway, sorry for ranting on about that for so long. That's a good little movie review, Luke.

Thanks. That was almost a professional feature. You tried to undermine it. Why did I? The difference between you and Mark Kerman.

Why did I? The difference between me and Mark Kerman is that Mark Kerman hasn't got you going, oh, Greek yogurt in the background. He's got salmon mayo

which is also a very similar very similar kind of substance imagine a big tub of mayo you've got that's even worse that's even worse

even worse worse for you alright I'll give everyone a breather after my ranting on about free silos so we can have an hour break and then come back and talk about some

some emails on each step with Peloton from their pop runs to walk and talks you define what it means about some emails. Or bring your classes with you for outdoor runs, walks and hikes, led by expert instructors on the Peloton app. Call yourself a runner. Peloton all-access membership separate. Learn more at onepeloton.ca slash running. That's a song for the climbers out there. I don't, yeah, definitely. I don't know if that's long enough.

I feel like I need a breather and then I get like a three second ab break. Have you ever done climbing? Yeah, when I was a kid. Yeah, I did a bit. Went on this weekend away at college to Wales and we did some climbing, yeah. My exes do it quite a lot.

I quite like the idea of that bouldering stuff. I just don't like all the ropes and stuff. I don't like the idea of like, it's just like having been responsible for somebody else, not bricking their back. Yeah. I prefer like the bouldering where you're not that high up, but you're just going.

That's the thing about the movie. Like, I mean, it just glosses over the fact that climbing 3000 feet with ropes is still really dangerous, but it just sort of glosses over that. It's more just like, you know,

you're drilling the holes in the, in the thing. And it's just like, how you know, you're drilling the holes in the thing and it's just like, how do you even get them in the holes and the wedges? There was a mad... Not for me, Clive. There was a mad scene in the early 90s, wasn't there, with these speed soloists who would do it, but the idea was to do it with no ropes as quickly as possible.

Oh, and they'd be flipping themselves upside down and stuff. Yeah. A lot of them were all on amphetamines and stuff. Really? Yeah. That was part of the scene. Oh, really? Amphetamines?

Well, it does make you concentrate on things, doesn't it? Yeah, and they all died, basically. It's not funny, because a lot of them were being really irresponsible and had children.

Ah, wankers, all of them. And that's the thing about Alex Honnold in this movie. He's never had any responsibility. His blasé-ness towards death

is actually quite shocking, yet he meets this girl, and she comes into the dynamic and says, well, hang on a minute. Now you've got a responsibility. Now, I love you for who you are, but how can you, can you not see your life slowly moving towards having more meaning than just you in a rock?

Yeah. Because I'm involved now and you've got people who care about you. And he, he, he finds it very difficult to square that circle. She's chosen terribly. And she, and she, do you know where she met him? Where? At like a climbing book signing. She knew exactly who he was.

Oh, right, okay. So it's conflicting. Groovy. It's interesting. A climbing groovy. She seems lovely, but she was very emotional, as you'd expect,

about that sort of... They were all very emotional, really. It's understandable. Well, presumably she's prepared for it as well, because she knows what he's about. He likes climbing about the gaff. He does. You can't keep him down. What if he does a rod hole? Wake up in the middle of the night, where is he? On the roof. For fuck's about. He likes climbing about the gaff. He does. You can't keep him down.

What if he does a rod hole? Wake up in the middle of the night, where is he? On the roof again. For fuck's sake. Wow. What do you want to do for emails?

Do you want to do one because I've done a lot of talking? I'll do a quick one. Anonymous retail drone has got in touch. Nice. Good name. Not one of those flying ones,

just somebody who just does retail. Ow! Hi guys, long time listener since you started in guys. Long-time listener. Since you started, in fact. First-time emailer. I recently heard the story of the chocolate competition at WH Smith. Oh, yeah.

People who sell more chocolate than anyone else get the prize or something. However, as a current employee of the said retailer, I can confirm that there is no prize for us mere store assistants other than the fact that if we don't sell enough, the store might go under keep up the good work what a depressing email why do they push

them so much Christmas as well don't worry WH Smith will almost go out of business and Mike Ashley will step in oh no

I don't really care don't want that no don't really care what about this Pete I'm just sort of torn between which of these emails to do

but I might do this email here from the Simon. It's like a catch-all email about loads of stuff, and I think it might fit quite well. He says, listen to number 43, reporting in for the first time. Been meaning to check in for a while, but keep forgetting, so I've managed to save a few things up to get over to you. Number one, I'm a huge fan of most of the things you do but don't worry i won't cane you for the ones that aren't in my wheelhouse i think that's reference to the listener cane who decided he was

going to leave all right point number two monkey stealing crisps i've been living in peach playground japan for the last seven years i live in an unheralded rural corner called Fukui and one time nearly dropped my red bean on toast flavoured Kit Kat when it got a mention in episode 38.

It wasn't episode 38, it was about 10 episodes ago. Definitely 100 and something. Anyway, I digress. So here in Fukui we have an abundance of Tombi black kites, the bird of prey variety,

not the kid's toy, that are usually content on gorging themselves on fish from the sea and dragonflies they acrobatically snatch out of the air but of course

everybody enjoys a good dessert and the tombis are no different and therefore have developed a penchant for ice cream which also come in

bizarre flavours in Japan more on that later such is their thirst for ice cream they are regularly known to brazenly swoop down to snatch the ice cream

component clean out of the wafer cone while it's still in a person's hand bit like sort of cornish seagulls yeah or brighton seagulls or whatever number three reference things your dad stole from work this one is actually about my mom several years ago we were sat on a beach at the end of the day when she got out the thermos and poured us all a coffee only for my dad who's particularly anti-waste and plastic pollution to castigate her um for providing each of us with a disposable plastic stirrer.

To which my mum, who was a nurse at the time, replied, it's okay, I've stole them from work because they were going to throw them out. We all carried on stirring our coffees, our eco-minds at ease, until she followed up with the now immortal sentence, yeah, they're actually smear test spatulas. Oh, fantastic. Reference number four, weird flavoured shit. Ice cream flavours here in Japan, as I mentioned earlier,

can be just as weird as the Kit Kats and include... Do you know what I'll do, Pete? I'll give you the list of the flavours and you can tell me whether you'd like to try them. Okay. Number one, lavender. Oh, bloody hell, that's a bit much, isn't it? That's just strong.

Too overbearing. Rose. A little bit more On my wheel How's Turkish Delight style Rose ice cream Sweet potato Yeah I've had Sweet potato ice cream before

Yeah It's alright They put like Sort of beanie stuff In everything So it tastes a little beanie Squid ink Would that taste

A bit like aniseed Wouldn't it Squid ink Basashi Basashi I don Squid ink. Basashi. Basashi? I don't know what basashi is. Raw horse meat,

apparently. Oh, yes, of course, yes. There we go. All right, there's a few more things, so bear with me with the semen from

Simon. Reference, normal flavoured shit, number five. I can't work out if the monkeys in Japanese zoos are more or less evolved

than the regular shit-flinging variety in other corners of the world. You see, I once had a fun day at Ishikawa Zoo, at least it was until we witnessed three different species all eating

their own faeces. Sorry Pete, even the gibbons were at it too. What? The chimpanzees even beckoned over their mates to share it fresh from the bum. Perhaps much more civilised than throwing it at punters and also in keeping with the Japanese football fan culture of always clearing up after yourself.

What else have we got here? Reference raw chicken episode 100 and something. It's delicious and I've eaten it many times and never suffered any ill effects. A particular favourite of mine

is avocado and raw chicken salad. It's just chunks of the both aforementioned ingredients with lashings of soy sauce. And then he finishes up

by saying he's got Hello Kitty batteries in his remote. That is adorably Japanese. There's a lot in that email, to be honest. He actually ends by inviting you to Fukui. I've got on a train through Fukui, because I was in a place just near there. Very briefly.

I like that he also says- I went to a ninja town in Kanazawa. Oh, did you? What was that like? It was good. They seemed to have quite nice houses there, the ninjas. Right. Those ninjas. What do you mean when you say that? I mean, you don't still get ninjas, do you? No. that like? It was good. They seemed to have quite nice houses. They're ninjas. Right. What do you mean when you say that?

You don't still get ninjas, do you? No. So what are they? Just dudes. Just shogun-y houses, I guess. Right. They're guys who are like, you know, fighty for pay.

Were they noblemen back in the day? That's why they've got nice houses. I don't really know. I'm not really into all that sort of nonsense, to be honest. I think I'd be accused of being an even bigger geek than I actually am now, to be honest. True, yeah. True.

All right, thanks for that, Simon. Anyway, plenty of stuff for Pete to get his teeth into there. I remember for some reason the equivalent of that sort of bird coming down, stealing food is seagulls, right? Yeah. I remember when I first realised how big the seagulls are in Brighton and Cornwall compared to everywhere else. They are absolutely massive. Why don't we eat them? I don't know, but there's also no such thing as a seagulls are in Brighton and Cornwall compared to everywhere else. They are absolutely massive.

Why don't we eat them? I don't know, but there's also no such thing as a seagull. Do you know that? Oh, right. They're black-headed gulls or herring gulls. The seagull is the catch-all term. Well, now you know. I don't think I've ever seen a black-headed one.

Yeah, you do get them. You do get them. There you go. What else have you got there, Peter? Rayan from Nigeria. Hello, Rayan from Nigeria Hello Rayan from Nigeria Hello guys, stumbled upon your podcast a couple of weeks ago And I've been hooked ever since

Wow Strange how a show about nothing in particular Can be so entertaining and educative Or educational even Anywho I wonder if you've come across a story Of the accusations levelled against the president of Nigeria Mohamed Bahari That he is a cloned version of the original levelled against the president of Nigeria, Mohamed Bahari,

that he is a cloned version of the original president who in fact died during an illness which kept him in hospital overseas for three months last year. He recently debunked these claims in an address in Poland and has since come in for some ridicule on a lot of shows in America.

I wonder if you guys feel that any world leaders, past or present, have in fact died while in office, have been clandestinely clandestinely replaced with a clone or doppelganger to see out his or her term that is interesting isn't it

I wonder where that came from there's a lot of like clones that for protection purposes isn't it every sort of despot usually has about three or four different versions of them do they yeah like Saddam had three or four didn't he oh true yeah so did Stalin so did

yeah everyone has all that business Paul McCartney apparently he died in the 60s I mean my double could be anyone really yeah anyone

so many different sometimes when I come and do a show with you I don't know for the first 10 or 15 minutes if it's actually you or not interesting

I wonder where that sort of conspiracy theory actually came from originally because there's I'll tell you what's a really interesting

current one isn't there a lot of rumours aren't there a lot of rumours going around that Melania Trump has got like lookalikes

oh there was there was one that was definitely if but these are lookalikes not clones I mean this is different

it's a different thing I mean how would you clone I'm presuming the president of Nigeria is in his 50s, if not older. And how would you clone someone to look exactly like you within minutes?

Within, you know, days? So it's lookalikes we're talking about. Saddam had lookalikes, didn't he? Yeah, that's what I'm saying, yeah. But there was definitely one of... Yeah, it didn't look anything like her. Yeah. Because I presume they just fall out all the time

because he's a nightmare. But, yeah, it's weird, isn't it? I wonder whether people just want that shit to happen or whether it's just a bad photo or whatever. But anyway. I do. What about this from Joel? This is right up your street, right in your wheelhouse.

It's just lists. It's a simple email from Joel. He just lists a load of discontinued foodstuffs. Nice, okay. I think you're going to like him. Hit me. Hubba Bubba Soda. Oh, yeah, that rings a bell. Nice, okay. I think you're going to like them. Hit me. Hubba Bubba Soda. Oh, yeah, that rings a bell.

Yeah, I think I've had that before. Like bubblegum flavoured soda. I wonder why I don't do that anymore. Probably too many sort of enums or something. Ketchups. Oh, ketchup chips. Ketchup crisps. I guess so, yeah.

Ketchups. The Walkers did tomato ketchup flavour, right? They were nice. They were next to Worcestershire sauce. I mean, that is like, you know, if I can't get Worcestershire sauce, I would have tomato sauce. Do you know what I like in terms of Walkers flavours?

I like a prawn cocktail, mate. Yeah, prawn cocktail. Cheese and onion. I regularly go for prawn cocktail. Next up is a classic, Maverick Bar. Maverick Bar. Reminds me of that League of Gentlemen sketch. You remember that sketch?

No, I don't. You know of Pop who's like the pervy older dad and he's got a he's like he's supposed to be like I don't know

like from Armenia or something and he's got oh yes he's got like a Maverick Bar a corner shop and

his son is in charge of it one day and Pop comes in and the son's really upset and he's like what happened he's like some

children they came in the shop and i turned around to get them a snapple and and uh i turned back and all the maverick bars were gone and pop just sits there for slightly for a few seconds and he just goes how many maverick bars and it culminates with him going get out get out and these other sons are you are my son now my only son anyway uh fuse bar do you remember a fuse bar they were great they were brilliant around they were just sweepings aren't they cabaret fuse all the sweeping in chocolate yeah that was it yeah vice versa as well vice versa as yet were brown. So some were white chocolate with a brown sugar shell and then brown milk chocolate, brown chocolate. Milk chocolate with a white sugar shell.

The brown chocolate was what the chimps were eating. Yeah, exactly. Classic. Yeah, that's right up your street. Beautiful. Bit of that. What else have you got for me? Oh, I've got something on bend over if you want that.

Okay, let's have that then. Remember bend over from last time? From last week. It's from Dan. He says, hi guys, short email here. Just catching up on last Thursday's podcast. I'm glad to hear a reference to British icon Ben Dover. Funny that you guys have both had interactions

with the legend himself as he resides in my local town of Epsom. In fact, his son went to Epsom College and I would often spot him in the local Nando's. I would only be able to spot his son due to the fact that he is Tiger Drew Honey who is most famous for playing Jake Brockman, the oldest sibling in popular British sitcom Outnumbered.

I think I knew that. Yeah, he was definitely, yeah, he was an actor. I think he did an Edinburgh show as well, maybe? Or maybe that was Bend over himself. Yeah, apparently his mother's also a porn star called Lindsay Drew, but her name doesn't have the same jazz as either Ben's or Tiger's. Just thought you'd be interested. Well, Kelly, who used to work with the Ramble a little bit

she was listening to the Luke and Pete show last week when we were talking about Bend Over I guess. Apparently he used to come into HMV all the time to talk to our

video sales rep. He'd bring his filth in and show her the boxes and she'd have to choose which one she knew would be popular with her customers.

They sell them in HMV? Yeah he was going in and yeah. They sell pornos in HMV? Yeah they did back in the day. Really?

Did they really? Yeah, I remember being in one in Newcastle and there was one title, a gay porn title called Euroboys and the man on the front cover looked like a friend so he was called Euroboy for about a year. Hey, Euroboy. You dodged a blurt there because you look like everyone. You could have easily looked him.

I must look like so many gay porn stars but without physique. On that bombshell, that is about all we've got time for, for episode one, two, six of the Luke and Pete show. Getting very close to Christmas now. I think Pete's going to bring out his Christmas box of tricks. Steady.

I'm going to get my crackers out. If you want to get in touch, hello at lukeandpete.com. It's been lovely to talk to you and we'll see you again soon. What's the worst thing you've found in a cracker? Mini playing cards, nail scissors, nail scissors. Divorce letter.

Oh, no, I pressed the wrong button. I got excited. That's enough of that. was a radius to carl production