The Luke and Pete Show - Episode 135: Chuckypigs, or chiggywigs?

Episode Date: January 21, 2019

Welcome to your all new episode of The Luke and Pete Show, it's even more zeitgeisty than usual! That means we've got Prince Phillip doing his 'thing', Prince Mick Fleetwood doing *his* thing, and Prince Pete Donaldson doing *his* thing in Istanbul last weekend. Insatiable rascals, the lot of 'em.Elsewhere, there's woodlice and the frankly remarkable names we have for them here in the UK, someone who broke his ankle while listening to us (Attn: lawyers, we are *not* liable), and a tribute to Buzz Aldrin who turned 89 yesterday and has a decent claim to being the best human being on the planet. Happy Birthday, Buzz!Hit us up: [e-mail]***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's the Luke and Pete show. I'm joined by Luke. I'm the Pete part of the conversation. Mother, we've jazzed up the theme tune again. Well, I just sort of clipped it and then I realized that I'd put it on the same part of the button box that the silencer was. So I kind of muffed that up in many ways. No, I thought it sounded brilliant,

and if anyone's listening and thinking that was different, I'm as surprised as you are. I don't get any advance notice of this, guys, and that's what makes it exciting. I like that wow bit at the start. Yeah, I do as well. So we're changing things up, aren't we, Luke? We've decided that this show needs a long

awaited spit shine, a painty up, a redecoration. A long naked look in a full length mirror. Yes, we're going to paint the whole thing and then we're going to slice up onions to distract from the smell. Did you ever do that when you were a kid? Yes, and I am also going to do a dirty protest.

Oh, after we decorate? I mean, it's a decoration of sorts, isn't it? Sometimes, yeah. I was, you know that, have I spoken, did we speak about this last time? The Hunger Strikes Shreddies man? Yes, you did, yeah. Alright, okay.

Hunger Strike, when Hunger Strikes. Okay, you definitely talked about it to me on the way home in a way that I couldn't properly fathom why you were so passionate about it. Shreddies, who I think are owned by Kellogg's, had a mascot in the late 90s early noughties uh that was this kind of blue kind of a blue mini blue cartoon kind of big sort of like crazy kind of character um like a tasmanian devil yeah and he would get his spoon out and he'd

whack you on the belly and he'd go hunger strikes yeah and it's his catchphrase is literally hunger strikes yeah that's not right disrespectful it is disrespectful where were you going to go with it

um you said oh you see where it went with this that and the other with Bobby Sands you mentioned Bobby Sands for some reason yeah

a famous hunger striker is that yeah no no no I linked from I linked from you doing a dirty protest to Bobby Sands the rede redecoration, and then Hunger

Strikes, the Streadies thing. You're like a conversational Andrea Pirlo, and I'm sort of some jobbing League Two striker. I'm not making the runs. You're finding me, but I'm not making the runs. That's on me. That is on me. I'm hitting targets no one else can see. Welcome back to the Luke and Pete show, episode 135.

Pete, you started this whole thing by saying we're going to do something a bit different, although you haven't revealed what that is. We're going to talk about men who are imprisoned and who, yeah, do stuff. We're not going to start the show like that. Basically, what happens is we're going to do them as close to release time as possible. Because I think it could do with a bit of a shot in the arm when it comes to, you you know catching the the fever of the day yeah fever of today the zeitgeist the fever today is um uh it's apparently blue monday which i believe was started by an airline or a holiday company uh in the late 90s um monday 21st of january and that is blue monday that is blue monday um and

in many ways in 2019 we should be being a bit more serious about mental health. So we're going to not focus on that, but that's what's happening today. That's what a lot of adverts will be about. That's what a lot of people will be talking about. But to be honest, the sun's shining. I ate Chinese food for breakfast and I'm doing the Luke and Pete show with one of my friends. That's every Monday you have leftover Chinese. I know.

That's the first time you've called me a friend. Well. Things have changed around here you've called me a friend. Well. Things have changed around here. Won't be the last. Now, people who keenly, no one keenly follows my Instagram, but people who follow my Instagram will know that last Saturday, the Saturday before last, you and I went to the football together. You invited me along to see Newcastle's visit to Chelsea,

which we did. We had a great time. We talked about it on the Ramble. People will know that. You've just called me a friend there. When you invited me out last Saturday, that's the first time you've invited me anywhere since 2014. And I remember 2014 and what it was as well.

What was it? You invited me to go. And actually, that's the second time because you invited me in August of last year. Right. Sorry, August of 2017. Yeah. You invited me to DJ with you at a club in London,

which I did. Which we did. Yeah. And then a couple of years before that, you invited me out for drinks with at a club in London, which I did. Which we did. Yeah, and then a couple of years before that, you invited me out for drinks with you and your mate Al. Right. Well, I did the same on that night. I said, let's go out for a drink.

But you said no, because you're busy. That's not the full story, is it? What? You said, I'm going back to my house with Al to have some tins, is what you said. Which isn't a night out as I understand it. No. It always ends up with us going to the pub.

It always ends up with us looking at each other going, I'm a bit drunk, but I'm just in a house. Let's go outside where the people are. I said, why are you doing that? And you said, because I'm not a member

of the garage anymore. I don't really go to bars. See, it's an improvement. If you don't mind me saying it, it was quite a depressing end to quite a nice day. No, yeah, it was. Yeah, you're saying that.

You're covering my mustard, so to speak. So anyway, look, episode 135, Monday 21st of January. We're locking it into the date. We're keeping it on, so to speak. So anyway, look, episode 135, Monday 21st of January. We're locking it into the date. We're keeping it on the zeitgeist. But unless you're listening and you think,

oh, I hope I don't change this show because I won't listen to it anymore, in which case we'll just do what you want to do. It's not going to change, is it? No, it's going to be the same aesthetic. Have you seen people are selling, you know that Prince Philip crash where a doddery old bloke nearly killed a child? Yeah. And the newspapers are going, is Prince Philip okay?

Is the one you want baby okay? Can I also say the royal family have got a long-standing agreement to never sue anyone. Yeah. So he was probably pissed. Can you imagine? I'm not saying he was, I'm not saying he, no, I'm definitely saying he wasn't pissed, but can you imagine the amount of times they've done that and been pissed?

Oh yeah. They are legendary drinkers. They love a gin and fizz. Flip it another way round, Pete. You're Pete Donaldson. That's a good sound actually. I can see why you're using it.

It's very, very well done. You're Pete Donaldson. Hello. The only change in this sliding doors kind of way in a, you know, in the body swap comedy of the year you are now

a 97 year old royal who's got all the money he's ever wanted and he's got that stage in his life a fascinating stage in his life that I can't wait

to get to when you get to a certain age and you just don't care about anything anymore do what you want say what you want

all that kind of stuff I mean he's always had that yeah yeah absolutely one of the bystanders said that he came out of the car

and didn't say anything about it it was really late he wasn't rude no how many how many One of the bystanders said that he came out of the car and didn't say anything offensive. It was really late. He wasn't rude. No. No. How many days of the week, if you were in that position, are you drunk?

The thing is, I only drink at the weekend, so I don't generally drink before my radio show. So, yeah, no. You're Prince Philip at this point. You've got a radio show. Oh, yeah. I've told you already. The body's not covered in a year.

Sorry, am I Prince Philip? Okay, Freaky Monday. Yeah. Freaky Windsors. I always sort of think people who drink to excess needlessly, they don't like their family very much. Do you remember, did I ever tell you about Fleetwood, Mick Fleetwood? Yeah, well, I know who he is.

Mick Fleetwood came into a radio station. Oh, I didn't know you'd met him. I hadn't met him, no, but he came into our radio station and he did an interview with one of our DJs, who is probably about your height. Now, Mick Fleetwood is known as being ridiculously tall. He's like 6'6". Yeah, he's insanely tall.

And he finishes the interview and he's in the lift and he goes, actually, first things first, he comes in with a puppet of his own body. He's got a puppet on his hand of Mick Fleetwood, and he starts talking through it. He's like, hello, I'm Mick. Nice to meet you. What, Mr. Garrison from South Park?

Like Mr. Garrison from South Park. I don't know. Did you enjoy touring the album Room as Mick Fleetwood? I don't know. Perhaps you better ask Mr. Head. Mr. Head. Yeah. Mr. Head.

And yeah, he talks through this kind of puppet. And then he goes and does the interview. And then kind of puppet and then he goes to the interview and then afterwards he goes he's in the lift he goes and all the way through the interview

he's asking his he's one of his PA's to go and get him a bottle of rose get me a bottle of rose get me a bottle

of rose and they toddle off to get him a bottle of rose and then his wife or partner grabs hold of the assistant's

hand and goes if you get my fucking bottle of rose I'm going to fucking kill you he doesn't need a bottle of rose and then anyway she's stuck in the middle you get my fucking bottle of rosé I'm going to fucking kill you he doesn't need a bottle of rosé and then

he's stuck in the middle exactly I hate that kind of situation stuck in the middle of a love triangle with the Fleetwoods not for the first time no doubt

no no on that band those soft rock cocaine enthusiasts Fleetwood Mac as part of John said and at the end of the interview he says

that Chris who interviewed me was unusually tall. What? I was like, you're Mick Fleetwood. Yeah, he's shorter than you. You're a monster. You're a legitimate monster. You shouldn't be able to say that someone is shorter than you is tall. It just sounds patronising.

And also he goes, oh, aren't you tall? Yeah. Not to you. No. And he sort of ended the interview by going, right, who's up for a drink to everybody? And later it by going right who's up for a drink to everybody and everyone's

oh you're up for a drink from Mick Fleetwood and then his wife he will drink with anyone by the time yeah and his wife goes or partner goes

you're not going for a drink you've got a dinner he goes who with and he goes your family he goes oh fuck

the life of Mick Fleetwood so it rings true then what you're saying your theory that people who drink to excess on their own at home will just want to get away

from their family. On the Prince Philip thing, I would just say the reason why I brought it up is there's debris on sale on eBay. People have been scooping up broken glass and selling it

on eBay. I mean, it's not, it can't be worth anything, can it? We'll bloody see, won't we? Bloody see where it's got to. So I picked up my father-in-law

from the airport he's visiting at the moment he's on the podcast this week yeah we're going to drop him in there look out for that later I picked him up

from the airport just chatting catching up and he says to me what about that royal family because obviously he's American

so he's interested in the royal family they all are and he said what about that car crash in the royal family and obviously

he entirely not having a huge amount in the Royal Family and obviously he entirely not having a huge amount of knowledge of the Royal Family he entirely reasonably thought it was like Prince William or one of the younger

members of the Royal Family who should be driving in a Ducati yeah on the Ducati it's a motorbike a motorbike sorry what am I thinking of

and I said it's Prince Philip he's like what it's the Queen's husband and he went oh how old is he I yeah, it's the Queen's husband. And he went, oh, how old is he? I was like, he's 97.

He's just laughing. And that pops the bubble outside of the mad British monarchy bubble to a person who's not used to having a royal family. That's mad. It shouldn't be happening. It should not be happening.

I found myself saying, well, you know, we don't really have laws where you take the licence off someone when they're old or whatever. And I was thinking, I suppose it is on private lands, we can do what he wants. But if members of the public are driving through and they're in danger,

come on, Prince, come on, Phil the Greek, you've got to sort it out. Phil the Greek. Yeah. One of my favourite nicknames. Is your father-in-law ex-military? No, he's not. Because he has got a hell of a handshake. Proper eyes, right in your eyes, there's not. Because he has got a hell of a handshake. Proper eyes, right in your eyes. There's your handshake.

Well, he's a fully functioning adult human being. Yeah, I know. I shouldn't have gone in for the hug. He was a chef and one of the best... Ah, knife man. One of the best claims to fame, not just from him, but from anyone I've ever heard, is he was the personal chef for the Italian squad in World Cup 94.

Oh yeah, that's amazing. Great, right? Yeah. Oh, lovely old job. Good stuff. Just to shout out there,

Pete, you've been in Istanbul. Do you want to talk about that? Istanbul. I do. It was lots of fun. I went for, I left at 10 a.m.

on Friday and arrived at like six o'clock in the evening on Friday. Tottled around for a bit. I had a couple of sad old beers with myself. But the next day, got up relatively early for me on a saison and went to like the Blue Mosque, went to the crazy markets they've got.

And it was so much fun. I love travelling. I love getting there. I've never been there before. Everyone's got a bit of a hustle. It's a mad place. Like any cosmopolitan city, everyone's got a bit of a hustle. You sent me a picture of you on the bridge over the Bosphorus,

where they're all fishing. Did you see that scam where the guy drops a shoe? So, shoe, or? It can be anything, but I've seen it with a shoe. So, the famous scam, I mean, like any cosmopolitan in their city, everyone's got a scam and stuff. The taxi driver, whenever you get in a taxi there, it's like, oh, my meter isn't working.

It looks like it's working, right? It very much looks like it's working. It's not working. It doesn't go up high, no? Absolute jokers. And when you know it's coming, you're like, yeah. Like, I would have given you over the odds anyway. I realise that's part of the hustle. You're the only person, you're the only tourist have given you over the odds anyway I realise that's part

of the hustle you're the only person you're the only tourist that someone in Istanbul is ever going

to meet where by scamming you they're actually ripping themselves off because you are so

generous with money they've mugged themselves off so the famous scam

is the shoeshine guy so he'll walk in front of you and he'll drop his that's right it's a shoeshine brush so he'll walk in front of you uh and he'll drop his that's right it's a shoe shine brush yes so he'll drop his brush uh you pick it up for them because you're a nice guy or gal and uh you um and and basically he goes oh thank you so much i'll give you a free

shoe shine and then at the end you have to have some money please uh you know standard scam um and i it was i got so excited because a man did that to me it was beautifully elegant practiced through for decades this bloke in front of me this old doddery bloke um had his big shoeshine thing and he kind of really elegantly flicked his brush off the back of this hard wooden box and it falls on the floor clunk and i was like it was like seeing aurora borealis i was like it's happening it's happening what do I do

a scam I know this one I know this one and I had to don't pick it up walk off well that's what I mean I had to reach deep within me

not to engage I had a smile on my face and I was like oh this is going against every instinct I've got as a British polite gentleman tip of the hat wink

we're both men of the world you'll get some of that later but it won't be me no sir not not today thank you very much I was so excited

and so made up I was like this is brilliant you're so excited you gave him 100 lira thank you sir I've enjoyed this this authentic

Turkish taste yeah fantastic so um Bosphorus beautiful beautiful river. When you said you were going to Istanbul for the week on your own,

I thought there's a man who needs to change the distance on this Tinder app, but actually why not? Why not go there on your own? It's a great place. Interesting place. Fascinating place. I will say about Istanbul, I wouldn't go as far as to say I didn't like it because I did like it.

It's very full on. It's very, very difficult to imagine spending a sustained amount of time there because it's so chaotic. Oh, yeah. And also, I'm not a man who enjoys being. The Asian half is a little bit quieter. Yeah. I'm not a man who enjoys being. I'm not a haggler.

I'm not a man who enjoys being bothered. You know, I just like to sort of tootle around and stuff. And like, again, everyone's got a hustle. hustle and it's like come and see my carpets i'm going why would i need a carpet you see my flat what are your i mean i presume you mean rug and that would carpet my entire flat yeah um so yeah i don't like being bothered but you know you just take it it's more that i hate being impolite. And it's really hard to kind of close conversations like that down. If anyone's got any tips on how to politely and gracefully, I usually go, mate, I really don't want to waste your time,

but I've got to be somewhere. Thank you. But that's still too much of a fuck you to the guy for me. I find it very difficult. As long as you're polite and respectful, that's okay, isn't it? I just openly cry. Get away from me! In the spirit of making this a little bit more current,

this show. It's current, mate. This was yesterday. That's what I'm saying. You see, it was Buzz Aldrin's birthday yesterday. Oh, yeah. 89. Happy birthday.

We shared a little WhatsApp video. Oh, mate. The greatest video. Listen, Buzz Aldrin is difficult to, as I say this quite a lot on other shows, but when it comes to greatness, a Tiger Woods once said, when he was asked if he's the greatest golfer ever.

A Tiger Woods? Yeah, a Tiger Woods. A Tiger Woods said when he was asked if he's the greatest golfer ever, he said, look, it's not for me to say. All I can ask is to be a part of the conversation. I understand why he said that. You'd be arguing till the cows come home.

But if you are having a conversation about the greatest living human beings, you're having Buzz Aldrin up there. I tell you what, because, not just because he was, you know, one of the first two men

to walk on the moon and Michael Collins, the other guy who stayed in the module, he's still alive as well, by the way. And Buzz Aldrin did say when Neil Armstrong passed away not that long ago,

he said, obviously it's very sad. We shared something amazing together, but I really hoped we were going to stand together on the 50th anniversary of it which of course is this summer right so it would have been it would have been it was incredibly poignant anyway if you don't if you listen to this um very quickly before we go to a break i just want to if you don't know about this i want to bring up the speed and if you have if you do know about it it's a great story anyway so you will hopefully forgive me for retelling it.

There was a guy who was this mad conspiracy theorist who essentially spent all his time in his bedroom at his parents' house telling everyone that man didn't go to the moon. I can't remember his name. Not important. He doesn't deserve to be named, to be honest. And he went through this phase of taking a Bible with him to places where he knew Neil Armstrong, Michael Collins and Buzz Aldrin were and asking them to swear on the Bible that they went there. So we went up to Neil Armstrong and did it. And Neil Armstrong, who was known as quite a quiet guy and quite a sort of reserved, dignified guy, just ignored him, walked past him, just carried on with his day, ignored him. And he went to Buzz. I don't know if he went to Michael Collins, actually. I've not seen the footage, but he went to Buzz Aldrin. dignified guy, just ignored him, walked past him, just carried on with his day, ignored him. And he went to... I don't know if he went to Michael Collins, actually. I've not seen the footage, but he went to

Buzz Aldrin. He wouldn't come out of his house. Yeah. He went to Buzz Aldrin as he was coming out of some building. And he was actually... And not only was he just saying, you didn't do this, you didn't do that, you're a liar. He was being really mean. And then... Sorry, Buzz Aldrin would have been, I don't know, 80

at the time and he says you're a liar you're a coward and instead of getting in a conversation with him an 80 odd year old Buzz Aldrin

just punches the guy clean in the nose punches him clean in the face it's more of a jaw whack for me never has one person

been so dramatically transported into the real world in such a small amount of time than that. It is the most satisfying thing you could ever hope to see, ever. It was wonderful. He didn't get arrested or anything because the bloke had apparently been poking him with his Bible.

But the way that... Find me a jury that will convict him. I want it to go to trial because I want to see a jury that will convict him. I want it to go to trial because I want to see a jury that will convict him. What I like about it is the moon truther clearly forgetting that these are ex-military men.

I know, yeah. The reason why they're flying these fucking spit smudges is they used to fly in the Air Force. He fought in the Korean War. Yeah. He shot plays down

the Korean War, mate. He's got no problem dealing with this guy. He's got no problem dealing with you. It's just the way, like, how old is he? 70-odd.

His hand comes out of his pocket with a fully formed fist. That should have no problem dealing with you. It's just the way, like, how old is he? 70 odd. His hand comes out of his pocket with a fully formed fist. That should have been his first warning sign. Crack! Will you get out of crack?

Great shot. It's a great shot. I could watch that forever. Same. He's done two incredible things there. Moon.

Yeah. Crack. Take that video off the internet and do me a favour, just inject it straight into my veins. I'll have it for breakfast,

lunch and dinner if you don't mind. It's got everything. I'm the Lance Armstrong of injecting that video into my veins. Hubris versus justice. Love it.

I love it. Absolutely love it. And a virgin getting punched. Yes, if you are a conspiracy theory toting virgin who lives in the bedroom of your parents' house. You can be a virgin.

Yeah. Just don't be a cunt. Yeah. Well said. Let's go to a break. That's the irony. Happy birthday, Buzz. Yeah.

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Learn more at onepeloton.ca slash running. How to make a long egg. And we're back. We're back after a short break. Someone fetched Boz Aldrin for his birthday a face to punch. A cake. He could do like a face birthday a face to punch. A cake. He could do like a face on a cake.

I'd love that. So he gets a big cake and it's like, you think, oh, a stripper's going to come out of that and what actually jumps out

is that guy. A moon truther. A Buzz Ceremonies he gets to go up there and just smack him in the face. I wonder if that moon truther is still alive.

Still alive. I don't know his name. He's got his head punched off. I don't know who he is. While you're doing that, I really want to pull people back to the talk. I mean, one of the finest stories told of our time, and we live long in the memory of my story

about trying to find woodlice for my niece. Yeah, okay. Which people were so, I think, so stunned at how quite how boring it was how i can still profess to be any sort of professional broadcaster when i've got that kind of story in my exactly that we just got an absolute waterfall an avalanche of emails about wood lice and wood lice enjoy you know enjoy getting involved because they are as we said before crustaceans i think they like sort of disappearing under rocks which i think is what a lot of people think i should have done

after that story but anyway loads of people email him at woodlice so thank you very much for that i've selected this email here sent in by steve holford and of course hello at luke and peach.com is the place to email and he's found this article uh on a on the bbc america website about just how many different names there are for wood lice around the UK. So there are 40 different varieties of wood lice, which I found quite surprising. I thought it was about two.

Yeah, there are a few different ones, aren't there? And there's a load of different... You know, I don't know. I've got no evidence for this, but you know the way that certain names and certain accents and certain vernacular is linked to sort of the old trading routes in the UK because there was like the market towns, all that kind of stuff. You wonder how the word for woodlouse has become so specific, but it certainly has.

And for example, we call them woodlice. In the West of England, in Devon, they call them chiggy pigs or chicky pigs, right? Just down the road in Dorset, they call them chiggy wigs. Further up in Gloucestershire, again, relatively speaking, just down the road, they're chucky pigs. And then in Bristol, they call them slunker pigs, wood pigs, timber pigs, or penny sows. In Cornwall, they're grammar sows.

It's just mad. It's the next one that gets me, to be honest, Luke. Grandad Gravies. Grandad Gravies! So weird. Woodlice called Grandad Gravies. Oh, there's a

Grandad Gravy. Interestingly enough, as well, in certain parts of the UK, they call woodlice Granfers. G-R-A-N-F-E-R-S. That's fascinating to me

because my great-grandad was known as Granfer and no one knew why. So I wonder if he had a woodlouse emporium. a woodlouse emporium. A woodlouse emporium. Could have. One of those guys that have a little ant circus.

Yeah. Just all woodlaces. And I'll finish off by saying everyone in the South East in Kent, they call them cheesy bugs. Cheesy bugs or cheese rockers. Cheese rockers. Cheese rockers.

East Midlands. East Midlands. Leather jackets. You're listening to this thinking I'm making this up and I'm absolutely not. I will share the link on our Twitter

at Luke and Pete Show and you can see for yourself the localised naming of wood lice. Not as soon as I ever thought I'd ever say. It's incredible. Oh, it's insane.

So thanks to everyone who emailed in about that. Yeah, thank you very much. We have had so many emails. I've unstarred them for some reason which I'm a bloody idiot. I'll copy and paste one

into my own draft. What a goose. If you want to kick off with an email, a straight-up email, instead of just a concatenation. What about this one? Here we go. This is worth reading. This is from Jamie, and I've subtitled this, We Almost

Kill Someone. Oh. It says, following on from the previous show, in which you encouraged listeners to email in, I thought I would do so just to say thank you for the many enjoyable hours you provide us listeners with. I would just like to add that despite the show making me laugh on many occasions, it has also managed to cause me some pain, coupled with my own idiocy. On 5th December 2017, very, very specific, I was out running and listening to the Football Ramble, your sister show. If I remember correctly, Luke said something which caught me, so I decided to rewind it to hear it again.

At this point of the run, I found myself at the crossing of a busy junction and in a hurry to rewind the pod, I misjudged the lights and ran out to be greeted by a van,

which smashed into me, causing a triple fracture and dislocation to my ankle, which has required two surgeries, a concussion, and a badly injured back. Oh.

Have you heard this email? No. No. However, you can't keep a good pod listener down, and I found myself finishing off the episode that night with my head in the clouds on codeine and morphine. He's dedicated.

Is he all right now? He says, you know a show must be good when it can make you laugh and cry at the same time. Apologies for the long email. My injury happened 13 months ago. I'm fine now, but I thought I'd drop you an email. Fantastic stuff. Well, we've been...

Thanks, Jamie, and sorry about that. Yeah, you must have coincided with the first run, really, of the Luke and Pete show. Pete, give me a percentage figure of how much we are to blame for that. Was he listening? He was listening on his headphones? Yeah.

Yeah, I mean, that's... I mean, we... I guess he was, but he's running, so he's got a loud speaker. He's got a boombox over his shoulder. Well, maybe that would have helped. He might have heard the impending danger. Well, they might have heard you.

Or us, I suppose. What percentage are we to blame, would you say? If there are any solicitors listening, Well, maybe that would have helped. You might have heard the impending danger. Well, they might have heard you. Yeah. Or us, I suppose. What percentage are we to blame, would you say? If there are any solicitors listening, zero. Possibly about 20%, I'd say. Yeah. As high as that. Maybe he slipped on a cheesy bug.

Could have done, yeah. Colin Armstrong has got in touch. Cole. I've got a terrible reputation at the moment for reading up people who want to remain anonymous and then forgetting about their name. Oh, Kieran, we need to apologise to Kieran Judge. Don't you mean, beep, beep? Yeah, we need to apologise to... Whose body has been found in a holdall in the Bristol Channel.

It was a Schlesinger one as well? Yeah, it was, yeah. Just got an old tennis racket in it. Sorry about that, mate. Needed a restringing. It's fine. I mean, look, if you're that arsed, no one's going to find out. No.

No ice cream. I don't remember us ever guaranteeing anonymity on this show. No, I think we should. We do a decent job of looking after people generally. As a routine. If you don't put your name in the email, I'm not going to read it out. But your email address, fine, I can read that, but I won't read that part of the email out.

Yeah. I mean, I'm to blame, but from now on, I will be more diligent about my anonymous messages. I don't want people thinking, well, I'm not going to email in because I don't want to be identified. Just write in block capitals at the top. Do not say my name, Peter. You know how important this is. Kieran's emailed in twice. He emailed another time about a year ago as well.

He's asked me to tell you, really. Colin's got a touch. Hello, lads. We're just listening to episode 132 and 133, talking about those naughty lads mags. Oh, yeah. Lee's email in the last episode. I'm a journalist, and one of my contacts used to intern for Nuts

back in the glory days of top-shelf cheeky mags. Anyway, did you want to fill in the Americans on what Nuts and Zoo were? Sort of what we would call a lad mag. So a magazine for men with really patronising stuff in it. Like, oh, you're a man, so you must like sports and women with big tits. Razors.

And razors and what else? Beer. Footy. Yeah, and they come out every week. And nuts and Zuber in opposition and rivalry for a while. Almost like, imagine if Federer and the Dow were just two really basic blokes down the pub who talked about tits all day. Yeah, pretty much. It made top shelf tittery more acceptable for teenagers to buy. Yeah.

Because you wouldn't feel quite as embarrassed going in to buy Nuts or Zoo because it's a lad's mag rather than a porno mag. You say top shelf. It wasn't a top shelf mag. No, but it had- That was the controversy around it, wasn't it? No, no, but it had topless women in it. It just had constant topless women.

Yeah, that's right. Endless. Anyway, he's a journalist- A golden time. A golden time. It just had constant topless women. Yeah, that's right. Endless. Um, anyway, uh, he's a journalist. A golden time. A golden time. By which I mean, a shit time.

Uh, one of my colleagues used to intern for Nuts back in the glory days of the Cheeky Mags. Anyway, I can't remember if, uh, Nuts and Zoo came out on different days of the week, but one of their main responsibilities was to pick up a copy of Zoo, uh,

and count the number of breasts in it so that Nuts could have at least two more breasts in their issue. And I was thinking, why two? And then I remembered how many breasts women have. To make matters worse, she is a female and had to report how many breasts were in the rival mag to a middle-aged male editor on a weekly basis. I'm not sure this sort of thing would be allowed anymore, and that's probably a good thing. I'm going to say problematic. I'm going to say problematic too.

But an interesting kind of snapshot into how greasy some threat to journalism. It's not. Would it be known as a trade mag in that it was tits and cars? Just tits and cars.

Yeah. And beers. Yeah. Yeah. Well, it's nice to hear this story anyway. Yeah. I mean,

that golden time is sadly, and by which I don't mean sadly, is now behind us they seem to sort of disappear from view fairly quickly didn't they that's the thing we talked about this before about how quickly society and the consciousness is being raised and i understand lots of people would say not quickly enough and i get that but it does happen very very quickly these days and nuts and zoos seemed in my mind just gone bang gone yeah not. And not only that... I don't think it was...

It wasn't about being unacceptable. It was just, you know, the arse falls out of... Sometimes... It's all about the advertisers, isn't it? It's all about the arse falling out. That's why Shortlist died, rather than its sister publication. What's the... Stylist.

What's this one? Stylist, yeah. But I understand magazines have to be targeted to certain groups. I get that. But I guess, to come back on Stylist, yeah. But I understand magazines have to be targeted to certain groups. I get that. But I guess to come back on that though, Pete, is it your honest contention that a Nuts or a Zoo could be launched now and they would be successful? I don't think they would. Probably not.

Yeah. There we go. Let's squeeze one more email in before we go. This is from Scott Abercrombie. The reason I'm including you, Scott, is because you're from Huntsville, Alabama, and I'm going there in May for a wedding. So if you want to get back in touch

with some tips... Alabama! Please do so. I've been to Alabama. Have you? Like it? It was very nice. I love the people of the South.

Southern hospitality and all that. So Scott says, Hi Luke and Pete, I was just listening to your latest podcast where you slam the sport of baseball. I am in the oh-so-small section of the Venn diagram of baseball fans and football baseball. I am in the oh-so-small section of the Venn diagram of baseball fans and football fans.

I love both sports. Baseball first and foremost. I'm an American. I've been a baseball fan all my life and I've been a football fan for about the last 15 years. The American people, for the most part, are beyond our efforts of convincing that football is not boring. In the same vein, I believe it's folly

to try and convince someone else that baseball is not boring. Having said that, I think the Ken Burns documentary about baseball, now this is where it got my eye because Ken Burns made the documentary series about the Vietnam War, which is amazing, absolutely amazing. He also made a genre-defining series on the Civil War, in which he manages to make a compelling, I think, 10-part documentary series, visually, with no video footage.

Right. So he just does interviews, because there's no video footage at the time, right? So it's just interviews, stills, relatives being interviewed, all that kind of stuff, and it's still brilliant. The guy's a genius.

Anyway, Ken Burns made a documentary about baseball, and it's worth your attention. I think the modern game of football and baseball have similar histories and someone can be a fan of both if they have the right mindset. Baseball is a beautiful

and poetic game, not unlike football if you give it a chance. The rules have remained the same for longer than probably NFL, I'd say. I don't know enough about it,

but do you know what I do know? When I go to the US and I start watching American sports, particularly NFL, which is the sport that's popular in my wife's family, I do find myself having I go to the US and I start watching American sports particularly NFL which is the sport that's popular in my wife's family

I do find myself having to get into a different mindset if you watch a Premier League game for example a football game and then go and

watch NFL and you're still in that mindset you will get bored very quickly because it's a much more play by play orientated

slow laborious process and you almost have to get yourself into a test match cricket type mindset. You let it wash over you. You don't worry necessarily about every single detail.

You don't worry about popping up and going to get a drink when there's a break in play or whatever. Football's got that element to it where you feel like if you blink, you're going to miss something.

The best games, I mean. You know, not Portsmouth or Newcastle games. So I think he's right. Scott's very, very, very correct. You have to get into the right mindset. So it's a valid contribution. I completely agree.

Hello at LukeandPetra.com to get in touch on that front. Yeah. Well, that's about us. Yeah, we're done. Wow, that was quick. Back on Thursday. God, we'll be back on Thursday with some more information about whatever's happening on Thursday, I suppose.

Yeah, we're going to try and make it grounded in the day itself. So we're recording today. We're going to put it out later. Sorry for it being a bit late. We'll do it now. Get it out. And we're going to try and make it grounder than the day itself so we're recording today we're going to put it out later sorry for it being a bit late we'll do it now get it out and it's going to be current it's going to be zeitgeist

it's going to be the Pete Donaldson of podcasts always on the latest trends yeah we'll be back on Thursday for more fun and games we'll see you very soon see you later

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