The Luke and Pete Show - Episode 137: Man dates cockroach

Episode Date: January 28, 2019

Hello, good afternoon and welcome to another instalment of the soon-to-be-award-winning Luke and Pete Show! Those who are hoping we'd be well out from under the yoke of woodlice-based conversation by now will be bitterly disappointed as the subject continues to run and run, and if that wasn't enough, there are more dating tips courtesy of The Pete.Also, is The Luke and Pete Show the only podcast to be sent some aviation speed tape by a listener this week? We'd wager the answer to that is a firm yes. Listen in to find out more.To get in touch, it's [e-mail], and we're @lukeandpeteshow on Twitter and Insta, too! Praise be!***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

So Luke and Pete, sure, I don't care what episode it is, I never have. I'm Pete Donaldson, I'm joined by Luke Moore. What have you got in your hand, Luke? Why are you messing around with bits of paper? It's a hand, well, partly because if this were a Friends episode, it would be titled The One Where The Internet Stopped Working. It's barbaric in this office today we've gone analog i've gone hard copy and i've got a piece of paper here and i'll give you more context on it later right that just simply says six or more wood lice observed at

one time require an aircraft to be grounded for disinfestation right Right. So, let's take this down. The old cheesy wigs, whatever they're bloody called, or the pill beasts. Pill bugs. I've got a couple more emails about wood lice later, actually. Yeah, we've become the primary authorities on wood lice,

and I never expected us to be so. Take it, man. Take it. Well, it started from your boring story, and we just went from there, really. It's proven to not be boring now, brother. Why would wood lice be boring now, brother. Why would wood lace be, A, on a plane, B, what damage could they possibly do?

They don't eat wires. No, true. They live in damp areas. We've heard from Pilot Neil. Hello, Pilot Neil. And regular listeners to the show will be very excited to hear that. He has sent us a package, including a letter with partly that handwritten note there that I just mentioned. And we will cover that, but I think we're going to cover it in the second half, Pete,

because we've got a structure and we've got to stick to it. But it's interesting. Put it that way. You're the one bringing it up. You're the one talking about Pilot Neil's little note. If you start a podcast by saying six or more wood lice, get their attention. Get their attention. Get their attention.

I have a correction and clarification and a mea culpa, Pete Donaldson. Am I the culpable one? No, it's me. It's me. See, you're isolated out there. Ignore the sigh. Hurt him. So a number of people pointed out

that when we talked on Thursday, of course, Monday, 28th of January today, Thursday, we did a show and we talked about cruise ships there was a story in the news about a couple of

people on a cruise getting into their room and finding another couple in flagrante in for vagina rare they were fucking they were fucking and we talked a bit

about what it would be like to be on a cruise and in it I said you know when the illness goes round the cruise ship it's disastrous and it's terrifying. Can't get away. I remember...

But what I actually said was, if I found out someone had food poisoning, I'd go up to them and I'd snog them to try and catch it. I do know you can't catch food poisoning. I meant like a bug, like a norovirus or something. I didn't mean food poisoning. It's not contagious, is it? What if they still had the rotten chicken in their mouth?

It wouldn't be affecting them, would it? Because it wouldn't be in their stomach. No, if you kiss them and you've got a fragment of chicken. Fragments of the carcass. Fragments of the carcass. Great album. Caught under the... Great album, that.

Caught under a pallet. Yeah, so I obviously meant like norovirus or something like that. Right, okay. So I just wanted to clear that up. I apologise to those I've offended. Maybe you've never seen Luke's kissing technique. It involves a lot of biting. Come and meet me later, mother.

Do check out at Luke and Pete Show Twitter handle for that and for my kissing technique. It's disgusting. It's disgusting. We just got him kissing a big watermelon we've cut a big notch out of. It's weird. Speaking of that, actually, you just reminded me of something. Cutting a hole

into a watermelon. Is that where it's going to go? Sort of. Okay. It's going to take a hard left just before that, but it's going to go sort of but it's going to take a hard left just before that but it is going to go that sort of direction I've heard yours does that I've only got about four friends

okay you know that because I think as an adult it's very difficult to maintain a good friendship with people it's difficult it's like pitch spinning

exactly it's really hard I never trust anyone who's over the age of 30 and has got about 200 friends they can't be good friends you can't say that. Anyway, that's not important.

But I've got a WhatsApp group with my pals, and we just obviously shoot the shit, use your stuff. But I got an email. I didn't get an email, actually. I got a letter through the post about two weeks ago, and it was a taskmaster type thing. Right. And it was a taskmaster type thing. Right.

And I got given an instruction to do a food portrait of my own face, take a photo of it and email it to this Gmail address. Right. And my friends on the group got the email as well. And we've all done it. And we've almost been, well, we have been brought into this taskmaster kind of situation. Right. With our friends.

With no planning. Didn't know it was going to happen. We've all gone along with it. And I was supposed to email my photo of my food face portrait by yesterday night. And I did it. And now I'm waiting to hear the results back. Can I see it? Yeah, you can see it.

Yeah. I don't understand why. This is how Saw. You know when, I think it's in Saw 2 where people fall in a big pit think you're going to be happy with that pit of um that's pretty good to be fair i mean what have you used for the eyes are those olives olives with no mushroom for a nose peppercorns yeah mushroom for a nose that's nice that's well done that brown rice for a beard wasted a lot of noodles there soup yeah egg noodles for my hair and a ham for a mouth so i'll share that on the twitter I'll share that on the Twitter.

I'll share that on the Twitter. That's actually quite beautifully done. Yeah. I would expect much less from you. So, but anyway, but I did, the reason that it made me thinking about... Did you eat your own face? Yeah, no, it's all in the fridge.

I'll put it back in the fridge. You know what I did? Because I'm so pathetic, I actually did it after dinner because I wasn't hungry. But anyway, but what I was going to do when I went to the Sainsbury's

to get the ingredients, I thought I'm going to do it on the water. I'm going 3D. I'm going 3D. Oh, are you going to stick the things to the water?

Yeah. Right. But I stopped at the last minute because I thought I don't know what to use to stick it on. I think most of the ingredients

would probably just stick on anyway, wouldn't they? Brown rice, mate. No, probably not brown rice. Probably not brown rice.

Do me a favour, love. Well, you could... So that's what I've been doing. You could jam it into the flesh, the soft flesh of the slightly yielding soft flesh of a watermelon. I just worry... Imagine cutting... You cut out the mouth, which is ham. Imagine how annoyed that pig would be.

That's what it's gone for. That's what it's... Yeah, that's what it died for. I'd's gone for. That's what it's gone for. Yeah, that's what I'd die for. I mean, it's biopsy sized. You could remove it without killing the animal, but... I think we're going to get

the vegans on a case again. Hello at nukenpizza.com vegans. I hope you at least ate the mouth. It's all back in the fridge, mate. It's all gone back in the fridge. What?

You've put a depiction of your own lips back in the fridge? I'll put it back in the slot where the slice of ham came from and put it back in there and I'll eat it later. That is dreadful. I'll put it back in the slot where the slice of ham came from and put it back in there and I'll eat it later. That is dreadful.

I'll have it in the sandwich tomorrow. That is dreadful. But can I just say, I think for a 2D, and I will show this on the Twitter guys, so I know it's not a visual feature, so apologies

to those who are listening. But very, very quickly before we move on, I think that's a pretty good 2D version. Oh, you've done it very well. So I'll be surprised if the Taskmaster doesn't give me good points for that. I want to see everybody else's. I can't wait to see everybody else's. Yeah, same, you've done it very well. So I'll be surprised if the taskmaster

doesn't give me good points for that. I want to see everybody else's. I can't wait to see everybody else's. Yeah, same. I'll share those as well. So that's what I've been spending my time doing. And ordinarily,

I am quite busy. But I wanted to do something this time around on something really funny I found out over the weekend. But sadly, because the internet's blooming well now,

I'll have to wait till Thursday. So that's something to look forward to. It involves feet fetishes. So people who've got a foot fetish, we'll cover it on Thursday because I need to play a bit of audio. So I'll do it then.

On Thursday, the show was gone, Pete. We talked a bit about first dates and we learned that you have a track record as someone who takes an actual alarm clock onto dates with you

so you can remember the time. Can you have a track record? I mean, that's one. I mean, that's one instance. How many dates have you been on in your life? Yeah, but I didn't do it on every one, did I? I don't think I've been on many dates, to be honest. How many? I don't know.

If you're formally going on... Us British people don't date. That's why net dating shouldn't work in this country. Because we get drunk, we get off with somebody, and then, you know, you're formally going... Us British people don't date. That's why net dating shouldn't work in this country. Because we get drunk, we get off with somebody, and then, you know, you're together. And you fall into a relationship, and then you get married, and then you have a kid. Lovers in the air.

That's how it works. I don't think dates really work in England. What would be your top three tips for those who are interested in getting into dating? Because you're a charismatic guy. Don't be a weirdo. What do you mean by that? What do you mean by that? Beyond time's a charismatic guy. Don't be a weirdo. What do you mean by that? What do you mean by that?

Beyond time's a good one. Beyond time's a good one. No, because I think people who, mainly lasses who talk about their experiences in internet dating, just being a normal human being sets you apart from 90% of the people on the internet dating sites

and stuff like that. A friend was on a date recently, actually this Friday, and I was out with another mutual friend. And we both have him on his, you know, iPhone's got Find Your Friends. Oh, yeah, yeah. And we could see where he was in the Find Your Friends thing. And we were kind of certain that he'd gone back to her house because he was in just a residential road.

This is disgusting. It's disgusting, isn't it? It's terrible. Yeah, this is probably illegal. No, he's given us access to it. He knows that we know where he is at any time. And next thing you know, you're rapping on the window. Let's have a look.

Rapping on the window. Give us a little peek. I don't know how it works. Have you heard back from him? No, I don't know. Okay.. Have you heard back from him? No. Okay. What a disgusting display of friendship that is. What a disgusting display of friendship.

I thought you were going to say that you found he was in the pub next door so you went in there. And ruined it. Yeah, no, just be normal. Maybe put some nice clothes on. Be polite.

Don't eat messy food. Do put clothes on. Do put clothes on. Yeah, don't eat messy food. Don't eat wings. Don't eat spaghetti. Be interested in the other person. Yeah. Do put clothes on. Do put clothes on. Yeah, don't eat messy food. Don't eat wings. Don't eat spaghetti. Be interested in the other person. Yeah.

Ask questions. Yeah, and just don't ask them a question just so you can... I'm probably guilty of this a little bit. We ask a question just so you can give your own opinion about something you want. You know what I mean? It's like the guy who...

I always sort of use the example of the guy who doesn't have a telly who will just talk about television so he can go watches who doesn't have a telly who will just talk about television so he can go I don't have a telly yeah it's a great Alan Partridge line

when someone says I don't have a TV and he goes yeah I'll say that sometimes she's a brilliant foot I don't watch much TV yeah I'll say that sometimes everyone watches TV

if you are someone who thinks that TV is rubbish you're watching the wrong TV. I don't think it's rubbish. I don't watch a lot of television, but I watch a lot of pre-recorded shit.

Oh, yeah? A lot of Netflix. But that counts as telly now. That's how TV is. Oi, mate, listen. It's on demand, but it's TV nonetheless. I watched Green Book last night, and the night before I watched The Black Klansman as well.

Okay, talk to me. Definitely a theme to my weekend, racial injustice. Talk to me. Black Klansman is quite a fun tale for how heavy the subject is, but then at the end, Spike Lee has put in a horrific bit of footage from the Charleston or Charlestown protests where that... The Tiki Torches one. Yeah, where that guy murdered that Torches one Yeah where that guy

murdered that woman by driving his car into the protesters an incredible bit of footage that comes out of nowhere in the film and just

really wow that put me through I'd seen it before but I mean jeez wow I've heard very good things

about Green Book as well It is very good it's a bit Plains, Trens and Automobiles but with you know obviously racial injustice yeah racial injustice yeah um have you met racial injustice he's a real cunt but yeah no he's uh i was like uh marshalla speaking of um yeah he's great speaking and

vigo mortalson's always good value speaking of um he's got a talk like this all the way to the fucking film yeah is he italian american in this he's got a talk like this all the way through the fucking film. Is he Italian-American in this? He talks like this all the time. Luke and Peachy would be as popular if that was what your actual voice was. Your big... I'm scared I might say something that is actually really insensitive. I don't know, because a lot of the films that I've watched where that action is...

It's a thing. It's a thing. Speaking of... That is disrespectful to my wife's family. Why? They're Italian-American. Are they Italian-American? Yeah.

Ah. Yeah. I've met your wife's dad with his firm handshake. He doesn't sound Italian-American. He is Italian-American. Maybe he should

forget about it. He loves you, so he's not going to get, he's not going to be annoyed about that. Forget about it. Speaking of injustices in films,

of a rather more trivial level, lots of people make the mistake that planes, trains and automobiles is a Christmas film. I hear... Look, let's not... I never veto any of our subjects,

but whether something's a Christmas film or not is the most born, dull argument. It's bad banter. Hello, Pete Donaldson. Welcome to my trap. It's bad banter. Hello, Pete Donaldson. Welcome to my trap. It's a Thanksgiving film. It takes place around Thanksgiving. Are they trying to get back to Thanksgiving?

I'm not trying to have that fucking, oh, let's get some paid for branded content about diehard. I'm literally telling you, he's trying to get over Thanksgiving, not Christmas. Okay. Steve Martin. He's got John Candy in the back of the truck. Maybe America shouldn't plan their,

maybe they shouldn't plan their... Maybe they shouldn't bring in another holiday at a time... Bring in. Excuse me. Bring in another holiday at a time when it's snowy and difficult to get back. Gets people confused. Have Thanksgiving earlier on. Have it around Easter.

Why does nobody try to get back at Easter? Colleagues have a Christian nation, honestly. True. That is true, actually. I need to get... Nobody ever says, I really need to get back to it for Easter. For Easter Sunday. I want to eat some a Christian nation, honestly. True. That is true, actually. I need to get... Nobody ever says, I really need to get back to it for Easter. For Easter Sunday,

I want to eat some Easter eggs with my kids. No one has to get back for Easter. No. That's not home alone. No. Up yours, America. Up yours, Jesus. I do see a lot of your rants coming,

but I have to say, that one did blindside me somewhat. So, Pete, what do you want to talk about? Do you want to talk about how that girl fell over on Dancing on Ice? Do you want to talk about how that girl fell over on Dancing on Ice? Do you want to talk about that?

Happened at the weekend, Sunday night? The lady from Gemma Collins. Gemma Collins. She just goes and goes, that girl. Proper face plant,

that was. Yeah, she really went, didn't she? She, yeah, she hit herself. I'm quite good at ice skating, I've decided.

You know who's really good as well? Michael Scott out of The Office. I've been blown away by how good he is. He was... What, Steve Carell? Steve Carell. He was approaching thinking about being a professional goalie in the NHL. So there we go.

Is that right? I think he's got a semi-pro record or something like that. My brother-in-law, Evan, he's an amazing skater. It's unbelievable to watch him. It's like he just falls on the ice. One of the things that's interesting about

us not having internet in this office at the moment is because we're trying to get, again, to use the word, we're trying to be a bit more zeitgeisty by recording and releasing

straight away on these shows. I've actually got the BBC website homepage with all the headlines, but I've got no pictures and no context of the story. So it's quite fun. Remote island, Mourns death of world's loneliest duck. Wow, and there's no picture. but I've got no pictures and no context of the story so it's quite fun remote island

mourns death of world's loneliest duck wow and there's no picture councillor stands by world war 2 myth comments don't think I'll be

clicking on that one I can't I think I know that one he it was probably holocausty wasn't it I can't remember now oh no no no

it wasn't he said that we were we weren't the most important partner when it came to the second said that we weren't the most important partner when it came to the Second World War, the Americans and the Russians were the ones who won it for us. How about this one, Pete?

This could go either way. This could literally go either way, 50-50. Why granddad's family were gobsmacked by his past. Ha, ha, ha. Oh, that could be any, yeah. I think I've seen, again, I think I've seen that story. Japanese man dated a cockroach, dreamed of having sex with it.

You having that? You've made that up. I haven't. Where's that from? Look at him. His name is Lisa. It's from SoraNews24. My love of Japan never ends.

Is that Alex Jones? Yeah. When she passed away, he ate her dead body so she could be a part of him forever love is a really crazy thing for some people cupid's arrow comes along when you meet a person you're attracted to but for others that special someone doesn't always have to be a human being by now you may have heard stories about men tying the knot with virtual wives lavish wedding ceremonies but this man

dated a cockroach for a year and he was so smitten he longed to have sex with her. Yuta Shinohara talks about his love for Lisa the cockroach. He's an entomophagist. Entomophagist. Either way, he eats and makes dishes

using insects, creating insect dishes from scratch and selling them to diners. Deep fried crickets is one of his specialties. In which case, an insect is the last thing he wants to fall in love with. But he wants, it's like falling in love with an omelette, isn't it?

So yeah, he basically wanted to have sex with a cockroach. That's disappointing. And also, I resent the use of the term dated because that implies consent on behalf of the cockroach. You don't know. Which was impossible to obtain. You could. You could say one hiss for yes, two hisses for no. If it's a hiss the cockroach. You don't know. Which was impossible to obtain. You could. You could say one hiss for yes,

two hisses for no. If it's a hissing cockroach. That said, you can't just poke a hissing cockroach and it'll hiss at you. They are horrible. Some people who want to date cockroaches will read what they want into the reactions. Yeah.

Confirmation bias. Leave them cockroaches alone, you dirty old man. Cockroachmanation bias. What a little monster. Why don't we go away for a little breaky, and then when we come back we are going to hear in a pretty spectacular way

from your friend and mine, Mr. Pilot Neil. He imagined what it would be like to have sex with her in a fantasy world where she was supersized or either he

was miniaturized. How to make a long egg. Chef Keef. Chief Keef. Keef Cooks. Chef Keef. Chief Keef. Keef Cooks. Chief Keef, Keef Cooks. He got in touch, didn't he, at one point? Yeah.

He was upset with your treatment of him. Yeah, there are very few times that I genuinely, you know I'm a bit of a worrier, and yeah, I worried about him not liking what I did. Yeah. But then, people will have checked out his videos, surely. He'd have got a lot of traction out of that I

think. Well a moderate amount of traction. More traction than he had before. That guy who

eats all the Civil War rations. He's got more. Mind you he's very popular. He is incredibly popular yeah.

As promised well generally speaking if you want to get in touch with us you tweet us at Luke and Pete show and of course a lot of

stuff we've talked about here will be tweeted about on there so you can check it out. Particularly my food face portrait of course. And of course, a lot of stuff we've talked about here will be tweeted about on there. So you can check it out. Particularly my food face porch, right? Of course.

Um, and, um, yeah, generally email in hello at Luke and pizza.com. However, one of our oldest, um,

well, one of our most longterm listeners and our, and one of our closest listener friends, longterm lover, pilot Neil, pilot Neil, as a cockroach, no,

as, as, as written us a letter and sent it in with a gift. And it is phenomenally good. And I've got it in front of me here and I'm going to read it. Hard copy. You can hear it, feel it, listen to it, embrace it.

Was it Sky Spots? Yeah. Pilot Neil says, Dear Luke and Pete, Been meaning to send you this for a few months now but never got around to it. So please excuse the delay. Quick point of order before we get started

though. In episode 136, you quite reasonably suggest that Prince Philip will drink only gin. But I can tell you that when flying, his chipple of choice is probably a few tins of London Pride. Oh, nice. There we go. I can't tell you why I think that, he says. Now, when Pilot Neil sent us the letter,

it came in quite a heavy box. And inside the box was a small but weighty package. And when we opened it up, Pete, it was aviation speed tape. The weight of this, it's like, and we will tweet it, but it's like if a roll

of tape was made out of metal. It looks, I mean... Get a hold of that, Pete. I mean, Luke, that's exactly what it is. Let's admit that. Oh, it is made of metal, isn't it? Yeah, it's aluminium. Look, I kind of want to... You know, if you rub metal on your filing.

Don't put it on your fillings. Yeah, don't put it on your fillings. Pilot Neil goes on to say, please find enclosed a roll of something known as aviation speed tape. Quite often, aircraft require temporary repairs to secure loose panels, cover dents and fairings and so on and to do that the engineers will use this speed tape it sounds a bit dodgy but it's standard practice and believe me it's better than

having said panels and fairings come off or start flapping about in flight it looks like fairly normal aluminium tape but is certified to stay stuck on through all types of precipitation extremes of temperature, and speeds beyond Mach 1, which I think is in excess of 750 miles an hour. I just like how terrible it is. I cannot get enough of this. It's so heavy. It's very thin aluminium. It's made by the

market leader of sticky tape, 3M. It just looks like gaffer tape, but it's highly reflective. And I reckon, if we melted this down, we could make an ipod out we probably could um without going into details pilot neil says i recently came into possession of this roll of speed tape and now having covered up all the holes and dents in my own life realized it would make an excellent addition to the drawer toolbox or wherever pete keeps his

thermal paste um i then consider the tape might actually be of more use to you luke as a conversation piece with his in-laws in America I can personally vouch for the fact that if you stand three or four New England men around a barbecue with beers in their hands the talk will eventually but inevitably turn to subjects such as truck engines and of course adhesive tapes in their uses

thank you very much for that Neil he says keep up the good work and I hope you enjoyed the tape look I've made some three I've made two ridges in my own body by sticking it to my arm. Man, you like... And then kind of... It's like industrial light and magic,

Steven Spielberg. It's like I've made like Wolverine clothes for myself. It's wonderful. There's a PS here. Neil says, I hope to have provided

you with some iron-brewed chew bars as well, but the recent search while on a trip to Scotland proved fruitless. Is there any truth to the rumour that

they're no longer manufactured following a lawsuit by Marty Pellow's model girlfriend, Eileen Catterson who claimed they damaged her teeth and were therefore unfit for human consumption. Wow!

That's a big shout. I don't know. Well where's he getting that information from? Presumably that's actually true that she's started a... I hope it is or we're in trouble aren't we? A class action suit. Yeah, it's... I have fantasies that I'll get on a plane that Pilot Neil is piloting. A cockroach is piloting. A cockroach and I'll have sex with it. I mean I have fantasies that I'll get on a plane that Pilot Neil is piloting. A cockroach is piloting.

A cockroach, and I'll have sex with it. I mean, I have stuck... That's stuck to my skin. Yeah, I don't know why you stuck that on your own body. Three, two, one. Ah, is it painful? Is it painful? No, it's not too sticky.

It's taking all the hairs off. It's not too sticky, but I think just the whole mouldability of it means that it holds everything together. It's beautiful Pilot Neil. So Pilot Neil who's also a pioneer sending us

in things through the post. If you want to do the same get in touch with us hello at lukeandpetecher.com we'll give you

our address. It sounds like a workshop. Or tweet us. It does. It's very satisfying to look at and hold I have

to say. It's so wonderfully heavy. Have you got an email there Peter Donaldson? It's really special. I haven't actually.

Well I'll tell you what I've got one here about woodlice. Alright then, give us it. Give us it. It's from Sally and James. Sally and James. I think it's from Sally actually, but she signs it off Sally and James. Dear Luke and Pete, my husband James and I live in

Atlanta, a city you and I have both visited, Pete. Yes. And we have been listening to the Luke and Pete show since around Thanksgiving last year. We found it via the Football Ramble, which we have been listening to for a and Pete show since around Thanksgiving last year. We found it via the Football Ramble which we have been listening to for a few months prior and it's our

favourite football podcast. Anyhow we'll be honest and admit that a lot of the references you two make during the show go completely over our heads.

Although to be completely and truly honest when this happens we usually look at each other and laugh along for several moments before one of us says what?

A perfect example of this is the Woodlice discussion. Okay. We immensely enjoyed hearing the extensive list of British synonyms for woodlice so much that it wasn't until episode 136 that I finally conceded

I had no idea what a woodlouse was. At first I thought it was a termite, but why would so many English children and grandparents be encountering termites so often? I don't think we have termites here, do we? I don't know. And so I actually googled it to see these hilarious creatures you guys have so many excellent names for.

After a two-second image search, my husband was doing the same thing on his phone, but I am younger and faster, I was surprised and a smidge disappointed to see that you were talking about pill bugs. Ah, yes, they do call them pill bugs. Alternatively, as James calls them, roly-polies. Both pill bug and roly-poly, I would say,

are much more accurately descriptive than pretty much every single term you listed across three shows, but neither of which are nearly as much fun to say as chicky wig or chucky pig or grizzly gramphor or whatever. So there you go. Cheers, Sally and James. There was one with gravy involved, wasn't there? Listen, you, sunshine.

Gramphor gravy. Gramphor gravy. That's got to be made up, that one. Listen, you, sunshine. There are, I think, five different versions of the wood lice or the wood louse no there's like 12 I think and one of them

doesn't roll up yeah I know like some of them don't roll up there's only one that does roll up so the pill bug that rolls

or the roly poly one that's what you're talking about so you've probably got a different genus so I thought there were two I thought there was one

and very scientifically I thought there was one that rolled up and one that didn't and we learnt like last week I think there's about 12 of them do you reckon they taste was one that rolled up and one that didn't. And we learned last week, I think there's about 12 of them. Do you reckon they taste, because they are crustaceans,

do you reckon they taste a bit like lobster or prawn? It's disgusting to think about, but I mean, that's the future, isn't it? There's one that you get in Australia called something bug, which is like a massive woodlouse and they do eat it.

Yeah. If you're listening in Australia, let us know what it is. It's definitely something bug. It's called like a, I don't know, like a Byron Bay bug or something. Yeah.

And they do eat it like it's a lobster and it looks horrendously bad. I mean, if lobsters didn't come out of the sea that we sort of assume are clean, like we wouldn't necessarily be like, hmm, great,

let's eat that fucking monster. No, I agree. I think you're right. I think that's right. Yeah. Have you got an email there, Peter?

I just put my phone down. I thought we were moving on. I thought you were finding one while I think you're right. I think that's right, yeah. Have you got an email there, Peter? I just put my phone down. I thought we were moving on. I thought you were finding one while I was reading my email. Well, I was... I'd moved on because I was using my mobile phone and moved on to the man fucking a cockroach. Oh, yeah, that's right, yeah. It's a great contribution, man.

We all appreciate it. Yeah. Keith Reynolds. I wanted to put this one last week. I didn't have time, though. Hey, guys. Isn't Luke droning on about Buzz Aldrin's greatness in episode 135?

Worth noting that Buzz is a notorious asshole who can't stand being in a room where he isn't the absolute centre of attention. Don't get me wrong, he's done some awesome things,

walked on the moon, punched a dude in the face, but also a giant egotistical asshat. Keith, mate, he's been to the moon. Yeah, I mean, what? I mean, you...

I've seen what you do as a job. I'm not going to reveal it. I haven't seen it. But you will have experienced men, and mainly men, who are arrogant asshats. So if that arrogant asshat happened to have been on the moon, I think he gets a pass, to be honest. I agree.

And I don't know what Keith's contribution is, unless it's creating a YouTube cooking channel. I think he works for a media agency, so he will have experienced nomads, is what I'm saying. He possibly could even be one. Possibly. Why don't we...

Keith, let us know your big contribution, your top five contributions, and we'll make an assessment. And we'll see which side of the fence we fall down from. Yeah, but we don't know whether he's an abusive tool. A tool? We don't know whether he's a tool or not. That's a very floral way of abusive tool. A tool? We don't know whether he's a tool or not.

That's a very floral way of saying tool. Pete, I have no reason to believe Keith is a bad person. I'm sure he's an absolutely lovely person

and he's absolutely right. It's happened to one thing which is that just because you've been to the moon doesn't mean you should be a dickhead. I mean,

it's always good to be a good person as well. I love Buzz though. I love him. Yeah. Well, again, we love him because

he punched a man in the face and is there any final way? Why do you put it like that? Is there any final reason to love someone? The man did deserve it. Yeah. Didn't he?

Yeah, right in the kisser. All right, before we go, Pete, what have you got planned for the rest of the week? Me and you have got to go do a talk somewhere and then, oh, I've got to do some editing.

What have we got for the rest of the week? No, I've got nothing planned. Nothing? I've finished the game Pikunuku, which I recommend. You get that for your Switch. You know I've got nothing planned. Nothing. I've finished the game Pikuniku which I recommend you get that for your Switch. You know I recommended the game

Minute. If you haven't downloaded that don't worry about that. Download Pikuniku. It is the first game that's made me genuinely laugh

belly laugh in years. It is brilliant. I haven't got round to starting the game you gave me last week yet. Pikuniku. Super Mario Odyssey

you gave me. Oh yeah. When it comes to gaming I'm a basic bitch. Am I going to like it or yet? Piku Niku. Super Mario Odyssey you gave me. Oh yeah. When it comes to gaming I'm a basic bitch. Am I going to like it or not? Well you're going to like Mario. I don't know that

but am I going to like this new one? Oh Piku Niku, yeah it's brilliant. What's it about? It's about a little bloke who comes out of a cave.

Everyone thinks he's a monster but he ends up helping a village. Right. It really is fucking hilarious. It sounds like a bit like Shrek. Yeah a little bit but it's very simple. It really is fucking hilarious. It sounds like a bit like Shrek.

Yeah, a little bit but it's very simple. It's not as esoteric. It's not as silly as games like Loco Roco which was a game on the PSP.

It's not as silly as that. It's similar. It's vector animation but it has so much character you can't fail to be enchanted

and amused by it sounds to me like an official Pete Donaldson recommendation it's two thumbs up from me guys and I think it's free on Twitch Prime

if you're on Twitch so there we go alright let's get out of here thank you very much if you've made a contribution to this show we will of course be back on Thursday

with more of this type of nonsense if you love the show tell all your friends share it review it all that kind of stuff hello at Luke and Pete

with an email at Luke and Pete on Twitter and Instagram it's goodbye from me and it's friends share it review it all that kind of stuff hello at luke and peachy.com with an email at luke and peachy on twitter and instagram yeah it's goodbye from me and it's goodbye from him yep this was a radio Stakhanov production. Own each step with Peloton. From their pop runs to walk and talks, you define what it means to be a runner. Whatever your level, embrace it.

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