The Luke and Pete Show - Episode 148: Swinging the swing

Episode Date: March 7, 2019

It's World Book Day today! As a result, the boys spend some time talking about the books they are currently reading (well, Luke does. Pete can't remember), and then they get into the weeds of your much more typical LAPS fare - bonobos, whether it's physically possible to swing a playground swing all the way around, the accidental outing of listeners who would prefer to be anonymous...you know, the usual stuff.Make sure to check out Searching For Sugarman, Erik Larson's In The Garden of Beasts, and give props to one Luke Cunningham, a listener who sent us in an original song about the show! Mad love!Also, it's [e-mail] on the email, and @lukeandpeteshow on those socials!***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Mother, is that you? What, what? In the butt. It's the Luke and Pete show. Don't bristle. I didn't bristle. When I quote the excellent artist... Samwell. Samwell.

I was going to go and make a note of that for the synopsis. I wasn't bristling. Okay, I just heard your lips quivered a little bit. No. Whenever I get a little bit spicy, a little bit rude, you go, ooh. My lips did quiver,

but that was through excitement. Excitement to be back for episode 148 of the Luke and Pete show on Thursday, the 7th of March. I'm Luke Moore. That is, of course,

Pete Donaldson, the Pete portion. I'm awesome. You caught me on the hop actually starting the show. The problem with the fact that people insist on sending us spam emails, which really, I'm not a man who gets his piss spoiled by admin.

Like, as in, I don't get angry. No, you just don't do it. I don't do it, exactly. I've opted out of that particular side of things. So, but when I actually have to sort of interact with that side of thing and someone has made it difficult for me, I realize how the rest of the world works. Yeah. Uh, and so trying to find emails in the Luke and Pete Shaw inbox, quite difficult.

You've done a pretty good job of insulating yourself in a variety of different ways from the real world. Yeah. And, um, and we do our best to protect you from that. Sometimes you are exposed to it. It's not ideal. It's disgusting. And, and I think you, your reaction to it not ideal. And I think your reaction to it is

very... Your reaction to it is like when Charlton Heston sees the collapsed Statue of Liberty at the end of Planet of the Apes. What a ghost. That's a shame. That's a shame.

That was a nice statue. Having said that, I can't actually remember his reaction in that film, so I might have made that up. He says, shit, it was Earth all along. Holy monkey balls!

That's what he says. I'll be fighting these monkeys all fucking day and I'm knackered. And I've probably got my shirt off. And I'm in love with one of them. Say again? I'm in love with one of them.

Is that one of the things? He falls in love with a monkey? He kisses her. He does. Doesn't he? Yes. Would you prize a fully grown female primate from Charlton Heston's called Dead Hands?

Did you see that picture of that hairless chimp I sent you? Yeah. Terrifying. You do get either chimps that have alopecia, I suppose, but you get chimps who pull their hair out

nervously as well. That chimp's got alopecia, so not a happy home life? There was a chimp, there was a bonobo, not a chimp, in the Twycross Zoo that I used to work in

that used to have a mohican because his mother, for some reason, used to just pull out his hair in a very specific... So you had like a full-on kind of taxi driver, thick Mohican.

That's amazing. It was so weird. I presume she still doesn't do it. That's brilliant. But he was a young bonobo. They just tend to spend their time masturbating the old bonobos. Yeah, bonobos are very important

for evolutionary reasons, aren't they? They were only discovered in like 1932, I think. Right, right. One of the later primates discovered. Yeah. So well done that person who discovered that.

And well done them for keeping themselves hidden for so long. Primate hide-and-seek champions. One of the few animals, certainly primates, who indulge in mutual masturbation.

Do they really? Yes, indeed. I can imagine the evolutionary bolus. Very much at this podcast. Yeah. Or scientists going up to them and going up to one of those

bonobos for the first time saying, what are you doing there? How would you describe yourself? Are you a chimp? Yeah, a chimp. You're not a chimp, are you? Oh, got me there.

Yeah, no, I've just had my hair cut. It's a Mohican. Hang on. Are you mutually masturbating? Could you stop that while I'm talking to you? You've got all the time in the world to do that.

I was reading, you caught me on the hop because I was just reading something about Taiwan, about how this guy, Luke Rees, emailed in. He's the international director of HR, apparently. But he lived in Taipei for a while, I think. And he basically spoke about the delicate discussions about what constitutes Taipei and Taiwan and stuff. And so I just got distracted with that.

But it reminded me of that when I was on holiday, I didn't try the stinky tofu that everyone was recommending. So apologies for that. It was like a fermented type thing. Yeah, it was like vegetables and fish juice. They put fish juice in everything. And two, apologies to the people who DM me who were in Taipei

at the time. I never have time to, it's really hard to sort of meet people when you're on holiday because you've got limited time and you're with friends anywhere and they want to do stuff

so it's really hard. So apologies if I haven't got them to. Let me translate that for you all. You weren't getting a response because you were not a sexy lady. That's fair. See, I'm joking.

See. Go back to your about Taiwan and Taipei no it doesn't matter no but no no I wanted to say my main point was

the third bit is that I saw a dog doing a poo for god's sake do you know what I've got written down here world book day

I was excited to talk about world book day and all of a sudden four minutes in we're talking about you seeing a dog having a poo. It's not content.

No. I mean, it is content. It's fecal content, but it's not radio content. No, a dog having, there could be anything in there, Wams. There was a dog having a poo, and the dog's owner, right, had the dog poo bag over his hands, and he was collecting it. Yeah, I've seen that. Have you seen that?

I've seen that. Is that seen that? I've seen that. Is that a thing? Can I go one step further? And I think I might have shown you a video of this. Right. I certainly sent a video to Sam about this.

I was walking through Herne Hill, District of London, just near where I live. Double H's. Yeah, not Herne Hill, H squared. The double H of London.

Not careful. Careful. And there was a dog, I think it was a smallish breed, a bulldog or something. And it had this contraption around its bottom half attached to like an ersatz belt right um which had a canopy over its bumhole

like a horse and when it pooped into it it just stayed in there like a bridal horse yeah and they could just tie up tie off at the end and put it in the in the thing and i don't know and first of all i was thinking that's strange I've never seen that before. Secondly, I thought, is that a little bit cruel? And then thirdly, I thought, why hasn't every dog got that?

Yeah. Because it would solve the problem down my street which is dog shit everywhere. I don't want to get Alan Partridge about it but it is disgusting. It's like a bag

in a vacuum cleaner. So they've basically attached a poo bag to a dog and so every time it just does a poo, it's in the bag and you just tie that off and it's

in. Yeah I mean it would be relatively cruel to leave it on there for too long I think but the bag is big enough for it to

be away from the dog's body for a bit. I'll have to dig out the video because I sent it to Sam for sure. I sent it to Sam

for a behind the scenes football round with him but he didn't make the cut. I might do a bit of that on the behind the scenes video today.

Yeah. Make a little canopy for my puppies. Look what I've got. I've got their pants peaked. Yes they are and I've filled them. Yeah.

I just thought it's a really the dog looked incredibly regal. It looked like I'm the fucking boss around here. Yeah. Catch my shit. Father,

you know what time it is. I've adopted the position father. Oh, you know what time it is. I've adopted the position, father. Oh, man. Do not forsake me. Cool. Well done, everyone. So,

a guy got in touch who was an international HR director about the differences between Taiwan and Taipei and you spun that into seeing a dog have a toilet.

Well, no. John, basically, the two-sentence version of the Taiwan-Taipei situation is that China thinks it belongs to them, hence the Chinese in Chinese Taipei. Taiwan independent, but made up of what they would consider the rightful Chinese government in exile who fled there when Mao was kicking off. Okay.

That makes sense. I mean, I kind of knew that anyway, so I don't know. I think maybe I said something in the book of Ramble that was a bit incorrect. Well, don't worry about it. Marcus said, go to China. I said, I am going to China. He's type A

if we're going to choose sides. Yeah, I mean, that's your first mistake. Yeah. Listening to Marcus. I found something else today which is quite interesting. Michael Jordan.

The reason I found this out is because LeBron James, King James, has just passed Michael Jordan's points record in the NBA. Isn't he on the beach a little bit, that bloke?

Everyone's sort of saying he's kind of just... He's gone to LA. He's not arsed anymore. Ask Andy Brasso. He's a basketball expert. Not many people know that. Really? Yeah, he is.

He's a basketball man as well. Some people's brains operate on a very different level. He's got the brain the size of a planet. But he's lovely and he's erudite and he speaks... He wears his knowledge very lightly. Any morsel of knowledge I have, I wear like a goldy t-shirt. I'm hitting it around

people's heads. I'm smashing people around the head with it. I'm manufacturing conversations to get it in there. You're like the man who doesn't have a telly who wants to talk about

telly all the time. Oh, do you see the game? I don't have a telly. What are you doing there? Just talking about TV? I haven't got a telly. But Andy, he's a basketball expert.

Anyway, Michael Jordan always wore Converse sneakers to play basketball in, apparently. And he decided that he wanted Converse or Adidas

to make his signature shoe. But Nike came in and offered him some creative control and said he could design them himself and all the rest of it. And the rest is history. So he could have been

an Adidas or a Converse athlete. Because Converse don't have any like, they're not squidgy, are they? Converse are like, so those are the shoes that you used to wear. Isn't that interesting? You'd think you'd want something with a bit more. It's back in the day, though, wasn't it? Are you allowed springy shoes? It was back in the day.

And the reason I find that quite interesting is because if you saw PSG, or if you've seen PSG this season their shirts are made by Nike but they don't have the Nike tick they have the Air Jordan logo oh that's interesting

so it's like an Air Jordan kind of brand it's really transcended basketball as we know anyway yeah yeah it's like the

Newcastle United black puma you never see a black puma on the Newcastle United shirt because that would be a black puma on the Newcastle United shirt because that would be a black cat

and obviously Sunderland are big rivals. It's always have a gold or blue or dark grey. And something

else I found out completely unrelated today is that women are 17% more likely to die in car accidents because cars and their

safety elements are designed around men as a default. I never considered that before. All the defaults are men. It's really weird. Yeah, so obviously women are smaller,

different mass, different weights, that kind of stuff. They are much more likely to die in a car accident. Very, very sad to hear that. Yeah, hugely. And I am more likely to die in a car accident because I wear my heart on my sleeve. Yeah, and don't wear a seatbelt. Yeah, you go, is that your seatbelt? No, it's my heart. I wear my heart on my sleeve. Yeah, and don't wear a seatbelt. Yeah, you go, is that your seatbelt?

No, it's my heart. I wear my heart. Peter, it is World Book Day today. Oh. And as a result, I just thought, we don't want to get too sort of pseudo-intellectual on this show because that would be ridiculous. But as it is actually World Book Day,

all your friends who have children will of course be dressing them up and sending them into school. And if they're particularly enthusiastic, of course be dressing them up and sending them into school and if they're particularly enthusiastic they'll be getting dressed up themselves

as I've seen some of my friends do is this an Americanism like a little bit like Halloween it might be could be mate

never a thing when we were a kid could well no it wasn't absolutely right so it could well be it's definitely come along more later

than when we were at school but what book are you reading at the moment because you sent me a passage from a book we were at school. What book are you reading at the moment? You sent me a passage from a book on WhatsApp the other day. What book am I reading at the moment? Okay, well that's a clue. You're not reading much, are you then?

It's a Le Carre kind of derivative blog. I forget his name now. It's alright. It's a story about a man who, a blog who was a fig picker. A little fig picker. A little fig, fig, fig picker. A little fig picker. You little fig, fig, fig picker. Sounds like an insult. He fell in the

he was found dredged up in the Bosphorus and it's a fascinating little yarn of a detective or a man who writes detective novels trying to figure out why this man's dead. Right. Not a true story. I don't read true stories

because I find real life boring. You find real life almost crushingly pressurising. Modern life is rubbish, as Blair once said. Yeah, they did. I'm reading a book by Eric Larson called In the Garden of Beasts. And Eric Larson, I think I might have talked about him on this show before,

I talked about Dead Wake and The Devil in the White City. Right. In the Garden of Beasts is the final one of his I haven't read, I think. And it's absolutely amazing. It's about, so it's historical nonfiction, but it's written with the pace and the cadence of a novel. So he's basically painstakingly got all the sources.

And if they've been officially written in a letter of correspondence or a telegram, whatever, he uses that to build the dialogue. Right, okay. It's brilliant. It's really well done. And In the Garden of Beasts is a book about a guy called William E. Dodd, who was the only, really, I'm paraphrasing here, but he was the only guy they could find in the US in 1933

to go and be the US ambassador to Germany. The only one he could find. No one wanted to do it because of the almost unique diplomatic uh situation with the rise of hitler so hitler would come into power um either earlier that year or the year before and um theodore roosevelt who i think was the president at the time essentially settled on this guy called william dodd who was this old history teacher who had a bit of diplomatic experience but really was it was a man of letters and and and a lecturer and all the rest of it. And he took his family at the age of 64

and went to Berlin and lived there as the US ambassador to Germany as all this stuff was happening. And it is absolutely fascinating. That would be a very unique experience. Exactly. And so what he's doing is he's, I mean, I'm only halfway through it, so I can't spoil your people even if i want to do which i don't um the rise of all this

um you know anti-semitic um hatred towards jews and all this kind of stuff is happening in little bits and pieces and people are failing to to knit the story together and it's also bracketed with the idea that in america their opinion of the their opinion of the Jewish people at that point was very problematic anyway. They're all finding it very hard to come up with a strategy of how to deal with this. And I've just got to the bit where he's about to meet Adolf Hitler for the first time. It's an absolutely fascinating book. I'll tell you what, it's not only that, the thing that elevates it for me as well, the lessons to be learned from history are so obvious and so clear to anyone who reads the book. It's by Eric Larson.

It's called In the Garden of Beasts. And I would happily, happily recommend it on World Book Day. It's the book of the week. It is the book of the week. It was Eric Ambler I'm reading. It's just a spy novel. A lot of Erics. A lot of Erics.

Yeah. That should be the title of the show. There's a guy, I think, who's called... A surplus of Erics. I can't remember who he's called. James Horncastle recommended me a lot of books by a guy it's a John le Carre thing

I forget the name of it Barney someone and it's set in it's 20th century spy novels basically I'll find it I'll dig it out and I'll get it on Twitter

but I've just bought one of those I haven't started it yet but I'll probably read that next and I'll tweet it at LukeandPeteShow.com I don't know at LukeandPeteShow so people can read it

because that's what I'll probably get into next but at the moment that Eric Larson book is amazing all his books are brilliant he's really really good his research is painstaking

his sources the sources at the back are like that big it must take him years to write a book it's like the Ramble book isn't it in many ways

you know the Ramble book imagine the polar opposite of that yeah okay it's like that Ramble book, isn't it? In many ways. You know the Ramble book? Yes. Imagine the polar opposite of that. Yeah, okay. It's like that. Yeah. I enjoyed writing the bits that I wrote. I enjoyed it immensely. I'm very proud of you, don't I?

Eric, speaking of Eric's, I discovered that I, basically back in the day when I was, oh God, how old must I be? Maybe about 12 or 13. I was a big fan of a Amiga-based animator called Eric Schwartz. Sorry, mate, Philip Kerr.

Philip Kerr. And his novels are the Bernie Gunther novels. That's what I was going to say. Carry on, carry on. I was a big fan of an animator called Eric Schwartz. He would do these very charismatic, kind of almost Don Bluthian animations. And a couple of weeks ago,

I sort of thought, I wonder what that guy is doing, whether I can watch him on YouTube, because they came on floppy disks. They were kind of like public domain kind of things you'd buy for 50 pence. Was he just a hobbyist? He was just a hobbyist. He wasn't a professional animator or anything.

I don't think he had any background. Anyway, I've recently discovered that he is quite a prolific, I've recently discovered that he is quite a prolific, furry, sexual sort of anti-animator. Why are these sort of like... Explain to people what that is. A furry is an anthropomorphised character that's usually like a rabbit or a fox or whatever.

Made sexy, basically. Made sexy, big tits, big ass or a big cock, whatever. And basically this guy, Eric Schwartz, he does and did and was a founding sort of member of the kind of furry kind of movement. So a lot of the characters in the animations I used to watch when I was 12 were kind of like a very sanitized version of the furry kind of movement. So a lot of the characters in the animations I used to watch when I was 12 were kind of like a very sanitized version of the furry kind of movement.

And I was being indoctrinated into the furry movement at a very young age. Younger than anyone I could possibly think of. Before it even existed. Before it even existed. I was like, wow. It's like being somehow an innocent fan of the art of Tom of Finland. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah.

I just enjoy the artwork. I'm just really good at drawing... Bedding sailor hats. Bedding leather daddy hats. Pete, I often say this on this show, and I think no occasion is more accurate for it than this. The more we do this show, the more I feel like I understand you. Right.

Because I hear all the stuff you talk about from your upbringing, from when you talk about hanging out with your dad and then your mum and all this other stuff.

And that is a very, very key part of the jigsaw, I think. Me and my mum had a right old argument on St. David's Day. What happened? That's not the spirit,

Of all days. I know. Yeah, what happened? She was telling me to go out and see my sister in Manchester. Right. Well, you're not doing your uncle duties properly. It's important.

She's ghettoised herself. Let's get into it. She's ghettoised herself. She's a bit of a curtain twitcher. She doesn't do anything. Who, your mum? My mum. Okay, right.

So she doesn't leave the house. She doesn't do anything. And she, in her heart, has found this little creature that she fucking adores and I've seen things in my mother that I've never seen her do before

she's this wonderful grandma who adores after this child and she's trying to find a way to see her more and more and more

and she feels guilty that she's not there more because she loves this little kid and she ain't getting a kid out of me obviously anytime soon I mean the government put pay to that, didn't they?

I've been sterilised chemically. And she does the thing. And so she's taken out of me. She's like, you should get up there and see your niece. And I'm going... You got there a fair amount, don't you? I see her enough. It's fine.

I can remember three separate times you've been there. Yeah, but... The kids are only about two. She's one. But I can sort of tell her frustration. She's sort of bringing it out through me. Vicarious frustration. Vicarious, isn't it?

And I'm sort of going... And I actually put her phone down. I said, Mam, let's stop this now. And she put the phone down. And I can't remember the last time I did that to my mum. Well, listen, people who are listening, you should love your mum.

Call her more. Yeah. Rise above it, Pete. But she's been a prick. Put the phone down. No, rise above it. I did rise above it. I said, Mam, you've love your mum, call her more. Yeah. Rise above it, Pete. But she's been a prick, put her phone down. No, rise above it. I did rise above it. I said, mum, you've ghettoised yourself.

Imagine you saying that to your own mother. Mum, you've ghettoised yourself. You've ghettoised yourself. You've turned your whole life into a cage. What does Stuart think? But I will... Stuart lives a separate life. He's ghettoised himself, but in twilight hours. At night time. I have a nocturnal parent.

Is it diurnal? Diurnal? I think so. I think what we need to do is we need to take a bit of a quick break for you to calm down and think about

what you've done to your poor old mum. Shit luck, she's weird and I'm weird. Yeah, well I agree with that second part of that

and afterwards we'll take some emails because we've got some good follow-ups to what we talked about on Monday and some stuff a bit further back from that as well. So let's do that. Are you going to apologise to that doctor? I'm sorry.

On each step with Peloton, from their pop runs to walk and talks, you define what it means to be a runner. Whatever your level, embrace it. Journey starts when you say so. If you've got five minutes or 50, Peloton Tread has workouts you can work in. Or bring your classes with you for outdoor runs, walks, and hikes

led by expert instructors on the Peloton app. Call yourself a runner. Peloton all-access membership separate. Learn more at onepeloton.ca slash running. So the first step is to find the right position for you. Put your hands down and lower your chest to the ground. Just do that and pretend that you're holding poop in. And it should sound a lot like this.

Welcome back to the Luke and Pete show. Pete, can I just say, on that crispy, eating crisps and forcing yourself to fart ad jingle, we've got a new editor, Ronnie. Ronnie, right? Oh, Ronnie's not hearing this. No, well, the thing is, she edited the last Luke and Pete show. Okay.

And no word of a lie, she's sitting in the office outside, and I poked my head out of the studio after we'd done Luke and Pete's show to talk to someone. And I heard her saying to Laura, it's the air break. I mean, I can't find the air break. All I can hear is something about pantry moths. And I was like, yeah, welcome to the Luke and Pete show.

So God knows what you're going to make of that one. Anyway, welcome back. It's hello at lukeandpete.com if you want to get in touch. We love hearing from you, as ever. Peter, I did a lot of emails on Monday, so people are probably very bored of me.com if you want to get in touch. We love hearing from you as ever. Peter, I did a lot of emails on Monday, so people are probably very bored of me. So do you want to go first? Well, I'll apologise on your behalf to Dr. RT.

Oh, yes. So with the guy who found the money in the ice cream van, we accidentally outed him. And that was your fault for bleeping it once and not a second time. That was an innocent mistake. With the doctor who we talked about last week with the purple vomiting and all that kind of stuff. Who wanted to be a, who wanted to be

the official doctor of the Lugnit show. He then said on a separate email, and here's the key, the separate email which I didn't read, by the way, please don't use my name. Yeah. I might well be struck off and that's my livelihood. And I've got a family and all the rest of it.

Didn't know he'd read that one. So he's been outed. We won't use his name again. If you are someone who works for the British Medical, the General Medical Council, whatever it is. Have leniency. Don't listen to episode 147. You'll never know who it is.

You're not allowed. You are hereby not allowed. You are struck off from listening to the last podcast. Exactly. And I will say this, if you are the head of the General Medical Council, or whatever it's called. Use your time more responsibly. The Hippocratic Oath says do no harm. Do no harm to one of your doctors by listening to that.

Exactly. I think you've got bigger problems, quite frankly. Yeah. Anyway, that second email came from Dr. No, I didn't. Hello to Luke. Luke of the Cunningham variety. He could be the official Luke of the Luke and Pete show.

The official Luke of the Luke and Pete show. He's made a song, Luke. He's made a song for the podcast. I don't know what that noise is. Don't want to know. No. We talk about life. We talk about life.

We talk about nothing at all. Right. It's good. Insult. It's good, but it doesn't really get Luke and Petey until about a minute in. Let's go. Keep going. All right.

We talk about life. We talk about life. We talk about life. We talk about nothing at all. Welcome to the lonely island. The jaded party of the Luke and Petey show. I quite like it. Got a real cool story to tell. I quite like it. What is that riff? It's in excess, isn't it?

She drives me crazy, doesn't it? She drives you crazy, yeah. Can I just say, I love, I love just going in and out of this song. Zoned back into it, just heard Spider Monkey. I can't help but think he's shot windowing himself a little bit there. I think it's very touching. It is very touching. And I think the listeners would like to hear us make love to it.

You and I. Really? Yeah, you and I. There's been a lot of text talk in the office today, hasn't there? Yeah. Anyway,

Luke Cunningham. Fantastic. An actually talented Luke. Yes. Who'd have thought that? Talented Luke for once. Who'd have thought that? Yeah.

Great stuff. If you want to make a song, I mean, this sounds hopelessly self-aggrandising, but if you also want to make a song, we'd be happy to hear it.

Hello at LukeandPeteShow.com. Ooh, baby. I've got another dad-based prank where I've got an actual physicist emailing in, talking about the potential to swing the swing all the way around. Alright, then let's have that one.

You want that one? Yeah. I think I saw a video of a man doing that and he really stacked it. He went over the top twice and then stacked it. This is from Sean, who, and by the way, the doctor emailed in last week just use your first name if you just sign it off as your first name we're never going to read your first name yeah so that's what you need to do anyway simple keep it simple the genie's out the bottle there

as the pm said yeah exactly um sean says hello boys episode 144 caught me on a slow network and talk of swings and centrifugal versus centripetal force is as good a reason as any to dust off a physics degree. I agree. I suppose he's not a physicist, really. He's got a physics degree. I don't know what the cutoff there is, but... Pete nailed it.

I'm a wanker. Yeah, apparently, Pete, you get a chance to prove me wrong here. Okay. Because the thing is, you and I, I'm a more dominant arguer than you, and I don't think you can draw on the resources of memory

to fight back at me. So you all too often capitulate. So you've got someone here who's backing you up. You're the top, I'm the bottom. Yeah, and you should

fight for your right to party more. Pete nailed it. A centrifugal force is the relevant force for being able to loop the loop on a swing. Loop-a-da-loop!

A centrifugal force is an apparent force or one that to loop the loop on a swing. Centrifugal force is an apparent force or one that comes from having your frame of reference rotate relative to another. As you are pulled back by the chain, this one is centripetal force, Luke, it feels to the swinger that there is something pushing you down into the seat. The observer on the ground would only notice that the person

in the swing is being pulled into the circular path by the chain. By my math, on an 8-foot swing, you'd have to be travelling at 11 miles an hour to do a proper loop-the-loop. The only thing that matters here is the length of the chain as the mass of the child cancels out. In short, anybody who claims to have gone all the way around the swing

is full of it. What they may have done is reached the top and simply start falling straight-ish down to the other side. Other than that, it's not possible. Keep up the good work, pods. I need them on days like today, Sean. Right, I'm typing in Russian swing over the top. Okay.

There's those ones that are absolutely massive. It's a back garden, maybe. But Pete, what I think you need, and Sean doesn't cover this, but I think what you need is a rigid thing instead of a chain, right? No, if you go fast enough, surely the chain would become quite tough. Actually, looking at this one, this one where he goes over the top, right? No, if you go fast enough, surely the chain would become quite tough. Actually, looking at this one,

this one where he goes over the top, this is actually a rigid chain, isn't it? There's no swing in that chain. It needs to be rigid. Yeah, it's rigid,

that's the thing. It's rigid. If it's rigid, that's fine. Look at how it ends, though. See you later. Oh,

God. See you later, mate. He's really hurt himself. Really. He's broken a few... I think that might contravene YouTube's

rules and regulations, but anyway. Ah, shut up. Thanks for that, Sean's broken a few... I think that might contravene YouTube's rules and regulations. Ah, shut up. Thanks for that, Sean. Peter, what have you got? I've got one from... Hang on. Tom, now I noticed, Luke, because I was not on the ball last week

and I didn't have any emails for you, you missed out some very important emails that I would have gone straight to. Root one stuff for me. Okay. Hello there, your recent fascination of horses and the presence of... Come on. I ignored it on purpose.

Why? I ignored it on purpose. Why? Because the listeners are about to find out why. Animal passions. Exactly. Do you remember this TV show? I watched it.

I saw it. I remember it. 2004, an hour-long TV show which some claimed glamorised the deplorable act of bestiality. Bestiality. Bestiality. We've had this, haven't we? Can I just say, the horse in that of bestiality. Bestiality. Bestiality. We've had this, haven't we? Can I just say, the horse in that show was called Pixel

and I cannot hear the word Pixel as I did this morning without thinking of that horse. It's ruined the Google Pixel phone for me. It really has. It's not particularly worthy of an email, the idea of remembering a TV show, but one of the main culprits

has long stuck in my mind. One man was both emotionally and physically in love with his horse and was happily interviewed proclaiming his love for his stable mate. He was also filmed with his tongue firmly in the horse's mouth. Slightly odd, sure.

However, the most memorable moment comes when you learn of his fate. Johnny the Horse Whisperer, possibly not his real name, loved his, or indeed, the thing that he did. He didn't whisper. No, no, no, you've got it wrong.

I'm a horse whisperer. Why are you whispering around that end of the horse? What are you whispering? He can't hear it. What are you whispering? What am I going to what are you whispering he can't hear it what are you whispering what am I going to do basically he loved his horse

so much that he had his face tattooed on his body this proved fatal as the tattoo artist used infecting needles contaminating our mate Johnny again probably not

his real name with AIDS bad luck I don't think that's true the halflife of AIDS is only a couple of days on a needle,

I'm fairly certain. And why would you, you'd be incredibly unlucky to die of a tattoo. We need the official doctor of the Leukopetia to get in touch and tell us. And speaking of a physicist,

clearly we need a chemist or a biologist or something. Anyway. Well, Tom, thank you for reminding us of a horrific Channel 4 documentary, but it's fascinating the lengths that people will go.

So to speak. They also did one about people in love with cars. Yes. Didn't they? More recently. Yeah. Yeah, very odd. I mean, where does that end

and where does Top Gear start? That's all I'm saying. The lines are blurred. Blurred, the lines are blurred. As Robin Thicke would say. But now the ride did, and run out of town, Robin Thicke. say. But now the ride did and run out of town Robin Thicke.

And that song was problematic let's be fair. It was very problematic. I was once told off by the head of music at my radio station because I was writing a piece for the Daily Express

and I wanted to call the Robin Thicke song Blurred Lines a rapist's charter. Yeah. And he said no. Don't do that.

He said don't do that. Please don't do that. It's going to upset the record company. Well, sorry, person, who told me to do that.

Sorry, I'm a, sorry, sorry, I'm speaking truth to power. That power being Robin Thicke. And that is the most,

son of the other Thicke. And you speaking truth to power so consistently and bravely throughout your career is the second most important reason that you've not gone as far as you hoped.

Well yes exactly. First one is just a sort of general lack of talent. Yeah yeah. Well I also share that issue. But no good to get a

reminder of that Channel 4 documentary for sure. It was very very. The thing is I think with that with that particular documentary the issue was around

obviously animal welfare. We understand that. With the cars thing I just said that I caught myself there sounds a bit odd isn't it

but ultimately not really doing any harm to anything is it no fuck a car yeah to not put too far on a point

yes is what you just said there if you were going to I'd choose one with more than one exhaust because variety is the spice of life and hygiene

is important on that bombshell I do have an email here that I wanted to do about I've got one here about another dad based prank which I thought was quite funny It's important. On that bombshell, I do have an email here that I wanted to do about, I've got one here about another dad-based prank, which I thought was quite funny.

Yeah, Colt. And something about the great documentary Searching for Sugar Man. Now, I'll do the dad-based prank next time. Searching for Sugar Man. Thank you very much to Bryce

for emailing it in. We haven't got time to do it, but what I'll just say is if you have seen that documentary movie, you'll know how great it is. If you haven't, go and watch it. It's amazing.

It's not a story that could happen now because of the internet, but I don't think I can sum it up or do it justice by telling you about it. Searching for Sugar Man about the great Rodriguez. Go and look for it on Netflix or Amazon Prime. It's one of the early kind of Netflix big hitters, wasn't it? It's amazing. I saw it at the cinema.

It's absolutely fantastic. Go and check it out and thanks for reminding us of it Bryce from Portland in Oregon that's enough time for this time around we'll be back

at the back end of the weekend on Monday for episode 149 Peter it's been an absolute pleasure it has indeed we talk about

it's actually quite why don't we get Luke Cunningham to play us out mate alright we talk about I can't be bothered. All right.

Sorry about that, Luke. We played the full thing. We did. We talk about life. We talk about life. Spider monkey. We talk about nothing at all. Thanks, Luke Cunningham.

Rude. Rude. This was a Radio St Takano production Should we go and look at some photos of bonobos? Bonobos