The Luke and Pete Show - Episode 152: MOTs make me cry

Episode Date: March 21, 2019

Howdy! On your brand new episode of The Luke and Pete Show, you can expect to hear tales of plastic wrap, stockpiling food for Brexit, Pete openly weeping at the fate of machinery, and what we all look for in bums.Also, there's plenty of pigeon chat, Bernie Slaven gets another mention in his campaign for President, a campaign that's gaining momentum by the way, and we also take the time to appreciate the return of the excellent Derry Girls.There's loads more besides, including of course you beautiful listeners and your excellent contributions! Rejoice!To get in touch, [e-mail], and we'll see you on Monday. Have a great weekend.***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

yes yes how's it going pete dollison with you on the luke and pete show and there's no luke today so i'm going to do the show by myself only joking he's over here uh the only podcast that i know of that officially endorses bernie slavin for the United States President 2020. Who me, Luke? Who me? Aye, you. How you doing, Peter? I'm all right.

Bernie Slavin used to be on Comcast, which was our version of cable television in the Northeast for a little while, and he used to be on Borough TV, which was just constant reruns of their Bob Mortimer helmed. But it was Bob Mortimer and, oh, who sang Let's Dance? David Bowie? No, no. It was not Bob Mortimer

and David Bowie. Amazing, that is. That sounds brilliant. Who sang, Chris Rea? It was Chris Rea and Bob Mortimer doing the FA Cup song for Middlesbrough Football Club and they would just constantly play that over and over again on Borough TV. Indispersed with a show called

Bernie Slavin Soccer Skills or something, where he would just teach children how to play football and he would victimise fat children. Right. Go on, fat, are you getting goal? As was the custom at the time. What year are we talking about? What era?

95, I'd say. No idea how old Bernie is. Yeah, he was kind of like, he famously, I think if Borough got the FA Cup final, he said he would bare his buttocks in, I think if Borough got the FA Cup final, he said he would bare his buttocks in, I think, Fenwick in Middlesbrough. Right. In the front window.

And he showed his bum. To the joy of absolutely no one including himself. No one wanted it. He did it. Most people probably wouldn't have even been able to tell you what it was. It was very early in the morning. Yeah. I remember them being pretty good buttocks, though.

He was a professional footballer, so you'd hope so, wouldn't you? I mean, if you're running through professions that generate the best buttocks, you're probably thinking professional athlete right off the top of the list. Professional dancer is going to be right up there. Yeah, but it depends on what you want in a bum. What do you want in a bum? Be the whole bum! What do you want?

Just a big... And a lady. Oh, just generally. Don't make it misogynistic. There's different things What do you want? Just a big, and a lady. Oh, generally. Don't make it misogynistic. There's different things, aren't there? Yeah.

If you're a man, you want a muscular taut bum. Yeah. But I remember talking to my hairdresser and she said,

oh, I was getting a massage or something and my bum kept wobbling. And she was like, oh, it was horrible.

I really want a taut bum. I was going, do people really want taut, muscular bums as a woman? I thought you were going to say she said, yeah, your head

is really like a bum. I'm cutting hair on your head here and I feel like I'm cutting hair on a bum. But I was just very surprised that people would want, that women would want taut bums. It just seems a bit weird. I know what you mean.

As we've discussed before, your back just and then bum just go straight down. Oh, I find bums endlessly fascinating because I don't have one. Yeah.

It's weird. Listen, you don't know what you've got until it's gone, do you? My back just goes it's leg time and with very little it's no messing about

straight into the legs. Back, back, back, back, back, back. Leg, leg, leg. Tiny little anus legs. Oh. But you've got to have an anus. You literally can't get away with not having an anus. Well, there's the title for the show, isn't it?

Yeah. There's the title for the show. A woman has called her husband mad after he spent over £650 on a food shop in preparation for a no-deal Brexit. I enjoyed that. Yeah. Because, to be honest, a lot of the stuff that he bought, I looked at it and I went,

yeah, it's a bit of a new story, but I just think that he's just being sensible while possibly being drunk. My favourite bit about the entire shopping list, for people who haven't seen the story, he's gone out, he's had a few beers, we've all done it,

and he's like, I've got to go to the shops. And he's got carried away. He's been drinking he had a few beers. We've all done it. He's got, I've got to go to the shops. And he's got carried away. He's been drinking. So presumably he's not driving home. He's got to carry £650 of his shopping home. Presumably a taxi. No,

he was, he ordered it online. Oh, he ordered it online. Fine. Fair enough. But the best thing is when they, I mean,

clearly the people involved in this have agreed to the new story being published. And they've agreed with the itemization. Yeah. Of the, of the bill so like obviously you got in there you've got like you know six cans of cream of chicken soup and 10 10 tins of new potatoes in water you know the best thing about the whole thing um it just says magna's apple cider 10 times 440 milliliter can right in pencil he's written in pencil for cooking

for cooking for cooking those new potatoes I don't want anyone to think I love drinking too much but the story's already I've been drunk and done this I'm just going to write it for cooking in there you might as well put it for medicinal purposes gotta do something after the apocalypse haven't you

there's that great story as well of that woman who had Gotta do something after the apocalypse, haven't you? You gotta do something after the apocalypse. There's that great story as well of that woman who had plastic wrap all over her cabinet and she thought her cabinet was green when she wanted like a grey blue. Right. And when it came, it was like a green. And she was like, oh, that's annoying.

That's always annoyed me about those things. It didn't come in the same colour that I wanted. She complained, didn't she? She didn't complain, no. But she realised, like a year in or something, that she just hadn't pulled

the plastic wrap off the front. You know, when things are manufactured, they put plastic wrap to usually protect LED screens and stuff. If I ever see anyone, anyone's desk,

anyone's home, where they've left the plastic wrap, take it off. It's akin to's home where they've left the plastic wrap take it off it's akin to buying a sofa and leave it in plastic it boils my piss

I'm in chronic I guess probably because my experience of the US ahead of meeting my wife was essentially through movies

and TV shows I thought it was quite prevalent that people left plastic on the sofa but I've never I have to say I've never once experienced it in my life.

It's just to keep it... You buy a sofa and you're really proud of it, so you want to keep it clean. But why would you sit on this? Well, I think it's also because people don't have an awful lot of money sometimes and they want to protect it for as long as possible. But then you're not really... You're having to sit on plastic.

Yeah, but it's quite a thin plastic. You're not enjoying the full luxury having to sit on plastic. It's quite a thin plastic. You're not enjoying the full luxury of your sofa there. No, no. Do you ever cover your suitcase in plastic?

No. People do that, don't they? You see, you can't go to an airport in Africa without having three or four of those machines.

I don't know why. I could have lived for a thousand lifetimes and never thought of that idea. It's a weird niche sort of thing, isn't it? I think it's just

to keep it together. I think they just assume that people just throw... I guess they do just throw kind of packages and suitcase around, but I just never understood... Again, I've seen it more

in Africa than anywhere else, but I just thought like, if people want to get in to have a look, it just makes it harder and they're just going to be angry and they're just going to fuck angry and they're just going to

fuck about with your stuff, Mark. They're just going to turn your suitcase upside down. one in three times I come back from the US, I've got my suitcase, I've got a little piece of paper in the sand that's been searched.

I've had a peek. Yeah. It's a very egregious way to treat the environment as well. I mean, you're already doing long haul plane travel, which is terrible for the environment.

You're probably eating a beef burger before you go. Again, terrible for the environment. And just for the sake of it you wrap your suitcase in plastic terrible

what would you stockpile if you had to tomorrow I have been eating a lot of cuppa soups recently oh god you don't even need to do that

you're a man of means to continue my journey down Peter's a disgusting pig Pete Donaldson cleans his oven very proud of it still eating cuppa soups

there's like these little you do the cuppa soup in the oven they're like noodles they're like noodles I roasted some pine nuts on top of my oven yesterday by the way

well done and just ate them joylessly ate them in one did you yeah just roasted them and then ate them they're so much tastier

when you roast them off isn't that weird isn't that weird releases Isn't that weird? Releases the oils, I think. Yeah. I think nuts aren't as good for you as people say. They're very packed with protein and power.

You're not qualified to say that. I just don't. I just think they're very high-caloric content for what they taste like. Well, regular listeners will know that your Sunday night tradition of a Chinese, a succulent Chinese meal

is still there but so during the week you're knocking through the cuppa soups are you? Cuppa soups 250 calories per pot that'll pull you up does it?

it does the noodles so there's noodles in them now so you get a little pot of noodles and you mix them in and they're sweet

and sour flavoured and I heartily recommend them three of them a day you're sorted depressing isn't it have you seen have you been watching

Derry Girls I've not been watching Derry Girls but a lot of Irish people on my Facebook timeline are very sort of into it

I think it's excellent for those who haven't seen it it's almost like a like the Inbetweeners but the protagonists are women or school girls really

and set in the 90s in the troubles of Northern Ireland. They're obviously Catholic and they live in Derry. It's really interesting. It's funny.

Very well written. I find any, I was sort of, I went to see the film, Slackers or, might be Slackers, I can't remember, but it had John Cena in it.

I remember that. I was interviewing him for some reason. And basically, it was basically the in-between I remember that. I was interviewing him for some reason. And basically, it was basically the in-between. It's like a coming-of-age drama slash comedy film about three girls navigating through a world, you know, based around sex and losing your virginity, stuff like that. The usual kind of coming-of-age kind of stuff you get told

from a male perspective. Women's perspective, way more interesting. Way more interesting. I'd much rather see a programme about that. Yeah. If you're a fart joke, sure, you know.

It's just way more textured. If you're interested in that kind of stuff and women and girls growing up, listen to Berkhamstead Revisited, Pete. Okay, then I will.

An excellent podcast from the Radio Stakhanov stable featuring Laura Gallop and Laura Kirk. Before we get away from the TV thing, I really wanted to go back to the conversation we had about Afterlife, the Vicky Gervais show, just briefly. I've seen them all now.

Great, okay. So it's really split. Opinions have been really split, and obviously I really liked it. You said you weren't that bothered. And in the office, the general consensus is that people didn't really like it with the exception of sam i think he thought it was all right so i did a poll on twitter among luke and pete show listeners and at the time of me saying this we've had um let me just double check we've had

455 votes so a decent amount and i said if you've seen Ricky Gervais' Afterlife, which word would you best use to describe it? Great, good, average or terrible? 72% of people rated it great or good. 19% average and only 9% said it was terrible. So generally, people seem to like it. What did you think of it? And now you've seen it all. Predictable, quite heavy-handed,

but was there enough to enjoy there for you? Heavy-handed, I enjoyed it. look i will um weep openly at um i i have on occasion on a heavy hangover uh weeped about your own behavior the idea of an mrt what the idea of a car going into a into an mrt and never coming out again. I find that chilling. I find that so sad. Do you know what? I didn't think you were going to say that. Why do you think that is?

It's for the same reasons why the Crossrail drills and the Channel Tunnel drills are drilling their own coffins effectively because you can't get them out there. They stay down there. We've talked about this before. Rich oligarchs

who were building underground swimming pools and digging out what do you call them? Basements and stuff. for rich oligarchs who were building underground swimming pools and digging out um digging out uh um what do you call them basements and stuff yeah they will get a cheap digger in and they'll just sort of board it they'll just put it into a wall they'll just keep it under there so like the digger will never escape stuff like that things that go in it never come out it's and and so so i am i am more than happy to um say something is emotionally moving or heart-pulling.

But my heart tendrils are being pulled, dallied away. But you didn't find that with Ricky Gervais' latest mission? No, I did find it, but I just don't think it was very well earned. I thought the whole relationship he had with his wife, she was used as a prop effectively. There's a lot of discussion in video games actually. Women used as props. Mario going to save the princess.

That's always a thing. Or a man who is wronged because someone's done something to his wife. That's basically what's happened there. Even though you do see her a little bit, she's just used as a prop basically. This is why I'm sad. And the transformation between being a cunt

and being nice is so quick and jarring for me. Quite obvious. Well, I wouldn't even say it's obvious. I mean,

it was always going to happen. The inevitability is something. I can still enjoy that. You always know, you know, Jim and Pam are going to get together in the office. Tim and Don are going to get together.

Spoiler. Spoiler. I was going to say, the Office UK only came out in 2001. Too soon. It was just very basic and

needlessly modelling. I just don't think it deserved its tears. It didn't earn them.

Fair enough, I understand that. Anyway, it's interesting that people who listen to the show

seem to enjoy it. It doesn't necessarily say that I'm right and you're wrong, but it's a very good, strong indicator. I've said, me and you have on more than one occasion disagreed on, you know, the difference between Peepshaw and I liked Peepshaw and I didn't really care that much for the Inbetweeners. Yeah.

You really liked the Inbetweeners and you said it was better than Peepshaw. So we have differing opinions and that's what makes comedy good, isn't it? Exactly. It's curious, my thing with peep show, because the in-betweeners,

I don't particularly like what I've seen, and this is unfair because I don't know them, but I don't particularly like the actors as they're in terms, because these days

you have some sort of contact, don't you, with what the actors are actually like because of Twitter and because they appear on TV shows and all the rest of it. contact, don't you, with what the actors are actually like because of Twitter and because they appear on TV shows and all the rest of it. And I don't particularly care for them. I'd say the same about the Peep Show character.

Well, this is the thing. But for some reason I can see past that and really enjoy the in-betweeners, even though they are arguably worse actors than David Mitchell and Robert Webb. But I find both David Mitchell and Robert Webb utterly, irredeemably insufferable to the point where I can't watch them in something.

It's just, to me, I can't make the leap. I don't think it's, I just don't enjoy it because I cut them out because I'm looking at them and I don't like them. I know that's unfair and I know I shouldn't judge people like that because it's annoying to me when I'm judged like that with people who don't know me

but it's a fact. There's a reason why, I guess, it's harder with comedy actors, isn't it? Because you kind of have to be on all the time. When I was interviewing Coogan, he sort of said, he feels comfortable not being funny all the time. And fucking don't you know it when you're interviewing him.

Right, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. And he sort of said, people who can never be off, I think, have genuine mental difficulties. He sort of said, Robin Williams is probably sort of said people who can never be off I think have genuine mental difficulties he sort of said Robin Williams is probably one of those people who could never switch off

could never be turned off Jim Carrey I would sort of put in the same bracket as well people who can never switch off people who always have to be funny but I would think sorry to cut in

but the difference between those is that I would and this is only my opinion but I would say Robin Williams and Jim Carrey and Steve Coogan they're all geniuses it's a completely

different set of rules for them you're not a genius because you act out someone else's written comedy and go on panel shows five times a week

that's different yeah but Coogan does act out other people's comedy though doesn't he and so does Jim Carrey and so did Robin Williams

they're all actors first and comedians second I would say no all actors first and comedians second, I would say. No, they started off as comedians, didn't they? Yeah, but I would say... Do you not think there's a difference

in standard ability of those three you've mentioned and this panel show circuit that people... Yeah, but that's an environment, though, isn't it? You've got to work. You think of most actors,

even like i think i remember tim key um probably telling off the record somebody he'd run the perrier he was on a couple of tv shows and stuff and like and like he still has to act in all of these things he still has to make cameo appearances in every different tv show because like not making enough money you just you just don't actors actors if they have two jobs if they're in two series a year they're laughing well they're not laughing

like it's maybe ten grand you know what I mean it's not a lot of money so you kind of have to keep your hand in there's a reason why there's the woman

who plays the queen who used to be in Peep Show oh Olivia Colman Olivia Colman there's a reason why she was

in every advert going and every TV show going There's a reason why she was in every advert going and every TV show going. She was in The Office. She was in everything back in the day because you have to work. You have to graph because otherwise you don't eat. I do think there's an element of you can't be too picky with your roles if you're trying to keep the wolf

from the door and keep the lights on. Especially if you're a UK concern. If you're an American and you are like Jim Carrey, if you do a couple of projects, you can make a hell of a lot of money just with one project. But you can't be picky when you're on such a small island. Sure, but I guess I just find it almost impossibly lazy just to see the same faces on panel shows over and over again.

I just think it's too many of them. It's too boring. It's lazy, all the rest of it. I just don't like it. Yeah, it's too much comedy. Too much of everything, isn't it, Pete? Too many podcasts,

that's for sure. Yeah, exactly. Why have you got a web page up on your laptop about pigeons? I've just been, I don't know, I've got to a certain age,

I just keep on seeing pigeons with no feet. Do you know what that is? I think I know what that is. Well, there's three or four pieces of speculation. Should I give you my theory? Alright.

It's because the... It's because pigeon shit is quite acidic and they spend a lot of time standing around their own shit and it deforms their feet. Is that true? Apparently,

that is one... That is one of the theories. That is one of the theories. That is one of the theories. Another theory is a lot of them just have lice infections and stuff that ends up, they lose their feet. Three, pesticides that people put out to dissolve pigeon shit and get rid of pigeons. Could do a number on them as well.

And also a lot of them just have twine and bits of wire and bits of, you know, bits of plastic wrapped around their feet.

They do get caught like that. It ain't easy being a pigeon. I just say, it isn't, I think we should start a company

that 3D prints pigeon feet. Yeah, 3D printed pigeon feet. Are you ready for our feet? Pigeons.

But Trafalgar Square still got a hawk that goes around. Oh, I don't know. I think he's losing a battle there, isn't he? No, there's hardly any pigeons in Trafalgar Square now

because there's a hawk or two hawks that circle. It keeps them away. They do that at tips, don't they? Or do that at airpods near tips.

Right, okay. Makes sense. So that the seagulls don't get caught in the old bird strike, bird strike. Makes sense. Bird strike, right engine.

I'm taking it down to Hudson. Yeah. What's his name? Sullivan. Sullivan, Sully. Sully. You've mentioned aircraft and air travel there. We're going to take a break.

After that, I've got an email because one of our pilots has been back in touch and it's very exciting. Oh, the humanity. So basically what I was thinking of was um oh fuck i can't believe you've done this i can't believe i can't believe you've done this i know there's some people out there who listen to our show i mean actually haven't said that can there really be people out there still listening who don't like air travel because they would have turned off a long time ago but pilot Pilot Gav's back up in here.

PG. Bringing some knowledge. Some PG tips. Because recently we've talked a lot about, yeah, we've talked a lot about, that should be a section, PG tips. PG tips from Pilot Gav. We've talked a lot about different speculation

around air travel. And it's helpful, I think, for one of our pilots to get in touch every so often to put these kind of things to bed. Okay. You talked about a little road, little... Beds can't fly but bed knobs and broomsticks incorrect not a airworthy vehicle not canon um you talked about a little propeller that comes down the state of emergencies i talked about whether a modern pilot can still pop pilot a spitfire uh and and pilot gav uh has got in touch

so i'll let him take up the story he says hi guys um here's some simple and short answers to luke's questions luke and luke's questions luke and pete's questions over the previous couple of shows number one system loss on a jet albeit extremely unlikely if the electric and hydraulic systems are lost most likely as a result of both or all engines losing power then there is the final option of a ram air turbine being deployed pete was correct a couple of episodes ago saying that a small wind turbine device can be dropped from beneath the plane and assuming you are going fast enough usually somewhere over 120 miles an hour the rat as it's known will spin enough to provide ac power

this will in turn be used to power enough systems to show basic stuff such as airspeed altitude and also power hydraulic systems to move the various flight controls like the rudder and allow us to turn, extend the flaps and the wings, allowing us to slow down enough to land, et cetera, et cetera. If engines are lost, you are effectively a massive glider. From 40,000 feet, you can usually get a bit more than 100 statute miles, which is 160 kilometers. The RAT cannot keep you in the air. The landing gear can still be deployed.

There are non-electrical systems allowing us to drop the gear simply through gravity anyway. With the RAT only working above a certain speed, it will usually stop working at some point during landing. Not ideal, but it's at least got you that far. And on the second question, can any pilot fly a Spitfire? Essentially, yes.

Depends how desperate you are. To fly any aircraft, you need a license, but to fly different engine types, piston, turboprop, or turbo any aircraft you need a license but to fly different engine types piston turboprop or turbojet you need additional qualifications boeing 737s airbus 380 lancaster bomber you need further endorsements on your license to fly specific types and and these usually need to be kept current achieved basically by flying aircraft regularly however almost every single airplane will have some form of instrument showing altitude airspeed vertical speed and some other critical engine parameters such as temperature and pressure

so let's set a hypoth let's say hypothetically there was a zombie apocalypse and the only way to get off an island to escape a savage zombie related death was to hop in a spitfire i'd say any qualified pilot of any aircraft would have to know how to give it a good go uh maybe he or she could even make it cooler by taking a few zombos' heads off with the propeller in the process. Or the rat. A smaller zombie. A baby zombie. Exactly. Or a dog zombie. Use the rat. So yeah, I hope that clears it up, he says.

Welcome, Pilot Dave. You can be my wingman any time. Pilot Gav. Lovely. I think that the thing I find fascinating about planes is, I think they call it turning on from dark. Right. So when the pilot gets on the plane,

everything's switched off. Imagine being on a plane where, like we've never been on a plane where everything's switched off. Got to fire it up. I don't know what you, do you get a little key that you open the little door with and you go in and go, hello. Haven't you been on a plane where you sort of sat on the runway

waiting for a stand and everything's been turned off? No, but not everything's been turned off. I mean, like as in every instrument in the cockpit and everything's been turned off. No, but not everything's been turned off. I mean, as in, every instrument in the cockpit and everything's been turned off. It's a dormant aircraft. It's a dormant aircraft. Yeah, I know what you mean.

It's weird. Very strange. Like, just going, I'm going to turn this on and we're going to get this whirlybird into the skies. Whirlybird. I find that idea

incredibly interesting. I'm going to do loop-de-loop. What emails have you got, Pete Donaldson? Well, I've got an email I was going to read out last week but I didn't have time. Hello to... I've lost a name. Don't matter to read it out last week, but I didn't have time. Hello to...

I've lost a name. Don't matter. Eric Van Bogard. Van Den Bogard. Don't forget that name. It's fantastic, isn't it? Eric Van Den Bogard. Fantastic, isn't it?

The people who listen to this show, their names sometimes are absolutely brilliant. It really is. I've encountered so many great new names just doing this. Hope you're well. I was just listening to a show about killing time, waiting for the bus to take me from Oka

Hune to Wellington. It's called Oka Hune. Oh well he spelled it Oka Hune. It's Oka Hune.

It's a ski resort I think. Oh well he spelled it O-K-A-H-U-N-E. Maybe it's somewhere different. Oka Hune.

Sounds a bit Japanese. Mildly interesting I'm Dutch and in New Zealand which touches on two elements of your Menkata item

Dutch resistance icon Freddie Overstegen apparently Luke read about her recent demise in the

New Zealand Herald I just wanted to point you in the direction of the actual girl with red hair Freddie's friend Hannie Schaft she sadly did not live

to see the end of the war she was ratted out to the Nazis by a former colleague and subsequently executed only three weeks before the war ended in the Netherlands.

Her heartbreaking life story was captured in a book and a film, both of which are known by most Dutch people. I don't expect you to feature that bit in the show.

The film isn't that good. But if you want to delve even deeper, the full movie with English subtitles is available on YouTube. But reading about Schaft, Ms. Schaft, the story of her actually dying was fascinating.

She was eventually arrested at a military checkpoint in Harlem on the 21st of March 1945 whilst distributing the illegal communist newspaper, The Vahid. These are the guys, these are the women who were seducing Nazi soldiers,

taking them into a forest and killing them. Yeah. Yeah, okay. After much interrogation, torture, and solitary confinement, Schaft was identified

by the roots of her red hair by her former colleague, Anna Weinhoff. Oh. So they waited until her hair grew out to sort of go, aha!

Red hair. It is you. It is you, red hair. Your distinctive red hair. You are the only red-haired Red hair. It is you. It is you, red hair. Your distinctive red hair. You are the only red-haired person in the whole of Netherlands. Yeah. So it must be you. She was assassinated by Dutch Nazi officials on April 17th, 1945.

Although at the end of the war, there was an agreement between the occupier and the Dutch resistance to stop execution. She was shot dead three weeks before the end of the war in the dunes of Bloemdael. Gutting. Gutting. Two men took her there

and one shot her at close range, only wounding her. She supposedly said to executioners, I shoot better than you, after which the final shot was administered. She was reburied at a state funeral on November the 27th of that year. What a terrible...

That's incredibly unlucky, isn't it? Yeah. To go all that far. It kind of reminds me of what happened to the great war poet Wilfred Owen have you heard that story no

very briefly he was killed in November 1918 a week before the signing of the armistice which ended the war and obviously it was

dreadfully unlucky anyway but his mother received the telegram on Armistice Day right so when everyone was celebrating

in the streets she received a telegram that her son had been killed Right. So when everyone was celebrating in the streets, she received a telegram that her son had been killed. Jeez. So bad, isn't it? It's really, really tragic. That is bittersweet. Yeah, absolutely.

I was going to say, actually, this just reminded me, now I was talking about that book in the Garden of Beasts, which is about 1930s Berlin,

sort of related, I suppose. The book I'm reading at the moment is called Empire of the Summer Moon. It was recommended to me by Mr. James Horncastle

of On the Continent and Other Works. I've seen that book somewhere. It's by S.C. Gwynne. It's about the rise and fall of the Comanche tribe in the American Southwest in the 19th century. Oh, yes, yes, yes.

My goodness me. It is absolutely amazing. It's amazing. It's an incredible story. I would very harshly recommend that i'm only about halfway through so i can't give people a full pricey but if you're interested in native american history or um it's just american history the wild west all that kind of stuff um it's it's well worth a read the comanche people who are a sort of obviously a tribe of

native americans of which there were several at one point they controlled a an area called comancheria obviously for obvious reasons which no one would venture into for fear of basically instant death because they were the best horse mounted light cavalry in the world basically they were so ruthless and so efficient and it was something like 240 000 square miles in the book he argues that it's actually one of the most impressive empires and it should be ranked alongside the mongols you know for for how how good how just efficient they were and how how sort of complicated their um their customs and their culture was very very fascinating thing and of course

with the americans with Anglo-American, white American expansion across to the west, who were just pioneers and really wanted to develop the country to take up the whole continent, you know, from sea to shining sea and all the rest of it. That's when they just, obviously, to understate it slightly,

butted head somewhat over the prevailing sort of next 30 or 40 years. Very, very fascinating story. It's called Empire of the Summer Moon. I would very heartily recommend it. How was Canada made? I think that would have been, wasn't that colonised by

Scottish people? I don't know why they drew the, it's just such a weird kind of border to draw. I know what you mean. This is where America stops and this is where Canada starts. This is where Mexico starts.

This is where America stops. It's so arbitrary and strange. Well, I think it might be a case of... I mean, because it was definitely colonised by Scandinavians. Oh, it's a bit cold up here, isn't it? By Scandinavians and Scottish and that kind of stuff. And the French, presumably?

But you know what? I'm not an expert on this at all, but there is definitely a situation regularly where... And it happened with the Comanches, actually. So when the Spanish came through into South America and essentially raped and pillaged their way through the whole of South America in pretty quick fashion, but through to white man's disease,

wiping out native indigenous populations, much more improved war techniques and all the rest of it when they got up to Comancheria they I think they had a little couple of skirmishes

little peak and just went fuck that and went straight back down south again the same way the Romans did at Hadrian's Wall

with the Scottish right so there is there is an element to all this where I think at some point people just go I mean we are pioneers and we are

colonizers and we do want to expand, but we don't get anywhere near that Canada because that is full of bears. It's freezing cold. Yeah, so there's probably an element of that involved. Yeah, massively. Massively. Got an email from someone in Singapore. Hello.

Long time listener. First time emailer. Anonymous. I'm keeping this anonymous because I don't have the name with me. We'll out him later. For a bloody reason. Hi, Luke and Pete. Sorry to tell from my days of being in the army as a medic.

I'm from Singapore. Here we have conscription. So lucky me. I was enlisted into the army and after basic training was posted to become a platoon medic in an infantry battalion, which I tell you is a pretty shite vocation seeing as we have to lug around a stretcher and an obscene amount of medical equipment while trekking through the jungle. But my story relates to when my battalion

was in our camp, or as I believe you would call them, barracks. We were running a physical activity, a 5k run specifically. I was appointed cover medic that day and gladly took up the responsibility because I'm a bit of a big guy and my knees were not made for running. We were coming to the end of an event with no casualties and I'm having bit of a big guy and my knees were not made for running. We were coming to the end of an event with no casualties

and I'm having a breezy shift, not having to attend to anyone. Just as I was packing up my equipment into the ambulance, I hear shouts for the medic. Rushing over, one of my company mates collapsed after the run. Assuming a heat injury

because it's really hot in Singapore, I run the according protocol. Strip him down, ice packs, the aid points to keep his base temperature manageable. I'd like to know what those aid points are. Please tell us. Hands. Heart. Head. Testes. Calippo.

Calippo. I love a Calippo. I've not had a Calippo yet. I have a Calippo. Loading him onto the ambulance. He was still semi-conscious. But on the way to the medical facility within the camp, he started to go out a little bit. So doing what I thought as a medic, basically the ambulance, he was still semi-conscious. But on the way to the medical facility within the camp, he started to go out a little bit.

So doing what I thought as a medic, basically a conscious patient is always better than an unconscious one. I think on the Jackmate podcast, also really extra kind of thing, we were talking about

tubes from soccer. And apparently when he had his heart attack, he's obviously a very young man, this guy was excruciating sort of amateur stand-up comedian in the ambulance was just telling him jokes

so I go oh fucking hell and he's gone I wish this guy would shut the fuck up but if he does I'm going to go out so they're just trying

to keep you annoyed and awake yeah brilliant and I lightly so I lightly smacked his face a couple of times or I thought they were

light smacks at least and he kept conscious we arrived at the facility we handled and handed him onto the awaiting m.o.s and the medics there and i carried on my medical cover until the activity was over no more major casualties just your usual cramps and rolled ankles sorry pete all done and dusted at the end of the day the m.o. called me into his office me thinking it was because of my swift response to the potential heat injury case instead he asked me did the soldier uh when he collapsed fall on his face?

Me being perplexed, I said I wasn't sure and it was a possibility. Long story short, in my attempts to keep him conscious, I went and smacked him hard enough until he had a bruised face. Instead of being commended, I got a telling off from the officer for being too rough with the patients. All in all, my company

mate was profusely thankful that I managed to get him out in time to prevent and he made a jam to himself, but I conveniently left out the part about how he got his bruise and let him believe he fell on his face.

Well, that should remain anonymous, Peter, because that guy might be listening. Nah, let's give him a name. I found it. It's Sadiq Rafid. Thank you, Sadiq Rafid.

That was very good. I want to squeeze one more email in before we go because we've got a backlog. Daniel Darvish has been in touch and this is about tall people. He says,

in episode 150, you talked about the height of the president and how Lincoln was the tallest one. I thought you might be interested to know how Americans truly vote for presidents.

It actually relies a lot on evolutionary psychology and how the human mind is tricked. Although it may seem irrational in the modern context, we prefer taller leaders because of our ancestors who would select

more formidable candidates to go into battle. Thus thus they're more likely to provide for the weaker in quotes so when two candidates are stood together we generally favor the taller one studies show that in all kinds of animals the greater the size the higher the rank analysis shows that since 1789 the tallest candidate has won the election 58 but won the popular vote a massive 67%. And the most notable exception is Barack Obama, who's six feet one. And his opposite candidate was Mitt Romney, who was an inch taller.

He upped the good work with Daniel Derbyshire. All the short arses like me who are listening are going, Luke, we know this. I'm president. I've been on Tinder. Of this show, I'm president. The people choose me 67% of the time, Pete D'Arcy. Rubbish.

We've all been on Tinder. Yeah, what is that with that Tinder thing? I continually hear that men always have to put their height on it. I don't know. Again, I've not really got involved, but I do know a lot of people who have, who are also quite short, and they don't have a nice time.

Oh, poor short people. Well, listen, we love you and respect you all the same. Hello at Luke and Pete Show. Do an email, Peter. Consider teaming up and wearing a big jacket. Overcoat, yeah. To get into a cinema. Or as you'd call it in the US, a movie theatre. Hello at LukeandPeteShow.com to get in touch

if you think you've got something to contribute. If you think you have, you almost certainly do have. So get in touch. Don't be shy. Please leave us a review on iTunes. If you like the show, it helps other people to find us and we rely on your spreading of the good word Pete it's been an absolute pleasure

spread your good word we'll be back on Monday and I hope you all have a lovely weekend oh nice this was a Radio Stakhanov production. starts when you say so. If you've got five minutes or 50, Peloton Tread has workouts you can work in. Or bring your classes with you for outdoor runs, walks, and hikes led by expert instructors on the Peloton app.

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