The Luke and Pete Show - Episode 154: Pete Donaldson lorry attack

Episode Date: March 28, 2019

Episode 154: Pete Donaldson lorry attackWelcome one and all, we're back in the studio and this time around dishing out red-hot chat on a variety of wide-ranging and different subjects, from webcam security to Zach Braff losing his temper, and from Arnold Schwarzenegger to Pete almost getting run over.In addition to that of course, as is the custom, we hear from you the listener as well. In this episode we take into account the sheer size of Comanche country back in the Old West, a phobia that no-one, and we do mean no-one, has ever heard of before, and a very gruesome exhibit at a theme park.Oh, and it's Mother's Day on Sunday, so don't forget to call your dear old mum. She misses [e-mail] is the destination for all your missives. We're ready and waiting.***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

it's the Luke and Pete show I'm Pete Donaldson I'm joined by Luke Moore you all right mate we're out here yeah I'm all right how are you I'm all right I'm good uh I had a slightly stressful time getting in today uh two things happened uh I was almost run over because I stepped in front of a lorry and didn't really... I was looking at my phone. Idiot. I know. Is that on that main road outside the station?

No, it was literally... No, I wouldn't do that. It was just outside my house in Soho. You shouldn't be doing that much with a lick in Soho, though, to be fair. How was a lorry getting down that street? It was absolutely peeling it around the corner and I, fair play, had my phone out

and wasn't really paying attention. That's silly stuff from him, though, that. Silly stuff from me, had my phone out and wasn't really paying attention. That's silly stuff from him though, that. Silly stuff from me but also silly stuff from me as well. Yeah, okay. So I think it was

a 50-50 challenge I think and he would definitely have won. He was definitely angry. He was definitely angrier than me so I won really. I had someone...

And then I saw... Sorry, go on. No, go on. No, carry on. Carry on. This is going to be a pretty boring interjection so don't worry about it.

Well, I walked towards my train station and I saw a gigantic human poo. What? In an alleyway. Come on now. Really? Thanks to the Tories' austerity cuts, the level of homelessness in Soho has increased

because it just does. If you go out in the streets of London and you look around, you can usually tell who's in power. There's more homeless people around. And obviously, there are just no facilities

for people to literally go to the toilet, especially through the hours of darkness, mother. And it's a horrible situation. San Francisco had a problem. Obviously, they've got all of the homeless people

get corralled in San Francisco. And there was actually a map where you could kind of report poops, like an app sort of thing, where you could report poops, where you saw some human poo. And I don't think they got cleaned up. It was just like a map saying it's not a city. It's full of shit, really. But I was just impressed by the girth and the length of the poopy.

I don't know if we want to go back to those dark old days and talking about poo on this show for half an hour straight. You started it, mate. You love chatting about my bum bum and to a man who on occasion has found himself sans poo. Yeah, I like talking about the fact that you can't go for a poo. Yeah, well, exactly. So imagine me walking past it.

It's people giving it out for free. I'm like, wow, that was girthy. You know, I said the other week, we're giving it away for free. I said the other week that I got stopped short on a run and had to nip into a pub. Actually happened again

last weekend. Had to run into Brockwell Park Lido, leap over the barrier and use the toilet there. Do it in the Lido. Yeah. Do it in the water.

No, in the changing room toilet, Peter, of course. All I'm saying is I haven't been anywhere near Soho, so anyone who says I am is a liar. It was a work of beauty.

It's episode 154 and it's Thursday the 28th of March it's my mother's birthday tomorrow and it's Mother's Day on Sunday it's my friend

Anthony Windrum's mother's birthday Mary Windrum's birthday Mary Windrum Mary Windrum she lives in the Orville in Hartlepool a lovely part of Hartlepool

what have you got planned for Christine for Mother's Day Christine I actually ordered her flowers three weeks ago because I thought it was Mother's Day a few weeks ago. So when Mother's Day actually comes around,

they're going to be dead? No, I realised at the last minute that I'd erroneously, for some reason, put Mother's Day on a Monday. I think maybe Taiwan has a different Mother's Day, possibly. I think in the Far is a different Mother's Day possibly I think in the Far East they have Women's Day they celebrate all women they have all kinds of days

in Japan Valentine's Day is followed by White Day and on Valentine's Day the women give the men presents and on White Day the men give the women presents and even at work if you're a boy you get given presents by all of the girls. People are like, what is that boy doing working here? What is that boy doing here?

He should be in school. This is child labour. I won't be seeing my mother on Mothering Sunday because Portsmouth are in the Chequotrade Trophy final at Wembley. So I'm taking her for lunch on Saturday instead. There's a lad who works at our work who's just started and he's also a Pompey fan and he's also had to have that discussion with his mum.

It doesn't come around very often. And for Portsmouth, Wembley is hallowed turf. It is, absolutely. I don't think I've told you this before, but it sort of struck me one night this evening. I was flicking through, I think we were watching something called Netflix and I flicked back onto the normal TV,

the council telly, and it was on the sci-fi channel. Right. And what they were showing on the sci-fi channel was the Arnold Schwarzenegger vehicle, The Running Man. Right.

Remember it? Classic. It's about 87. I don't think I've ever seen it in full, but I kind of know the references. It's so funny. So for those who haven't seen it,

it is Arnold Schwarzenegger's character gets accused and convicted of a crime he didn't commit, namely opening fire on a bunch of protesters or revelers or something. And because it's his dystopian future, by the way, it's made in the mid-80s, but it's set in 2019, Pete. I love that.

I love that. Why have we not had loads of tweets about that, like we do every time they say, this is the time that Marty McFly went forward to. Anyway, I don't know about you, but a quick digression. The 80s imagining of what 2019 or 2020 will be like is amazing. Well, I mean, we're all wearing multicoloured Leica and we've got explosive necklaces

haven't we exactly so anyway so this film so those of you who haven't seen it I'll very very quickly praise you

he's in prison Arnold Schwarzenegger's character's in prison for this crime he didn't commit but there's this game show where they get to essentially

play the game show for their freedom or for a pardon or something like that and obviously it's a pretty treacherous game show

to say the least and the chances are you're going to die I think only like they say only two people have ever done it and Schwarzenegger or something like that. And obviously, it's a pretty treacherous game, should I say, at least, and the chances are you're going to die. I think they say only two people have ever done it, and Schwarzenegger obviously does it, and he becomes the running man. What is the hunger for winning these games? You get your freedom. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But anyway, the point is, the actor who plays Damon Killian, who plays this sort of really slick American game show host, and in fact, he's played by an actor called Richard Dawson, aka Dickie Dawson, who was married to Diana Dawes who

was indeed the presenter of Family Feud, which is the American version of Family Fortunes. He was a presenter of that for years. He's dead now, he passed away. Anyway, this reminded me that I was watching this film and it came on years ago with my my granddad was there have I told you this story no and my granddad was there and on one of the scenes

where Richard Dawson who plays the guy who is the tormentor the bad guy of Arnold Schwarzenegger's character in The Running Man my granddad just turns around and goes he used to work on my bus. Turns out, to cut a long story short, Richard Dawson was the conductor on the bus that my granddad used to drive in Gosport, where I grew up. He's from Gosport. He was into theatre and stand-up comedy. He met Dana Dawes. He moved to Hollywood and started a career in Hollywood,

became an actor and a presenter, and there he is. But he's from Gosport, and he used to work on the same bus as my grandad. I almost don't want to live in a world where a man who came from Portsmouth gets with Diana Dawes. It's not even Portsmouth, mate. It's Gosport. On Hawley. It's not even good enough to be Gosport. It's like saying

Hartlepool to Newcastle. Right. Yeah. Incredible. Or Seaham to Newcastle or whatever. That's incredible. Mad story, right? Yeah. Apologies if I've told that before, but it's been a lot of episodes. No, you haven't. I just like the idea that your granddad just really kind of like, you know,

not even excited, just went, he's the way I am, boss. He's the king of, he's the king of understatement. Did I tell you about when I was watching Jurassic Park with him?

No. We were watching Jurassic Park for the first time at Christmas a couple years ago. It's obviously on that Christmas. That velociraptor used to live on my street. And my granddad sat there

and he's absolutely enraptured by pun intended, by this movie. Because obviously it stands up so well now the special effects are amazing. I'll run past you again very quickly because it's a funny story. And we're sat there and my grandad's just there. I think he's eating like, I don't know,

some sort of Christmas chocolate or something. He's probably been about 85 at the time. He's looking at the TV, completely enraptured. And I'm sitting there, I've noticed how into it he is. So I'm sat there looking at him, looking at my sister, and we're laughing. And I say to my gran, and the scene comes along where the electric fences go down.

And you see the T-Rex's big claw just sort of over the top of the fence, starts to pull the fence down to walk through. And I look to my grandad, and I just whispered to him, grandad, the fences are down. And he just looked looked at my granddad and I just whispered to him, granddad, the fences are down. And he just looked back at me, horror on his face and just went, it's going to be a bloodbath.

That is adorable. It's brilliant. It's going to be a bloodbath. Yeah, anyway, so that's what's been flying in my boat this week. I also found out that, did you see this thing

about speed limiting technology? No. Isn't that just like... So you're not going to be able to take as much speed as you normally do. Is this going to be about speed limiting technology? No. Isn't that just like... So you're not going to be able to take as much speed as you normally do? Is this going to be about sprained ankles? No. I keep sending you stuff about the world's tallest ever man, don't I? Yeah, you sent me this shoe.

That's a massive shoe. Size 37. If you want to fuck the world's tallest man, fuck the world's tallest man. Just don't send me stuff about him. He died in the 30s or something. Well, it's Yuma's gigantic grave. Eight foot 11. And bought a town. Eight or something. Well, Exuma's gigantic grave in Gorter Town. 8 foot 11.

You could live inside his chest cavity. If his ribs are still there, you could use it as like a tent. Where's he shopping for clothes? That's what I want to know. Well, he's not. They're all bespoke. Back then, you used to get Gorter tailors all the time, didn't you?

No, I think I never forgot poor family. It's only now that we... Even a poor family would have bespoke clothes, I reckon. Or recut clothes maybe some men clothes and make them smaller

bigger stuff like that maybe get his mum to make them exactly I was just going to say I read that the the EU have agreed that from 2022 vehicles are going to be limited

in terms of the speed they can drive on and they're going to have black box recorders on them as well so you can't be saying I was doing about 20 and I mowed down

that massive bus stop of pedestrians but I was only going 20 miles I mowed down that massive bus stop of pedestrians, but I was only going 20 miles an hour. They can pull the black box recorder around and go,

actually, you were going 70 or whatever. As a non-motorist... Yeah, I was interested in that because you can't drive, so I wondered. I think that's fine.

I don't think anyone... You know when people complain that they get caught parking in somewhere they shouldn't park? I mean, it says don't park there, so don't

park there. Yeah, true. If you've got an argument, if the sign's up saying don't park there and you park there, it's like, oh. There's only five minutes. Well, it says don't park there, so. Yeah. You were unlucky.

You're fairly unsympathetic. I think according to these new rules that are going to be agreed, you can still override it. You can still, like, if you need to get out of trouble, you can hit this accelerator. Boom. Slam your foot on the gas, Pete. Pedal to the metal and be away. As most of these systems, and if I was more business-minded,

the first thing I would do is set up a business, hacking into these cars and fixing it so you can go as fast as you bloody want. Well, I imagine that'll be a cottage industry that will open up straight away. Massively. When everyone closes the door, someone else goes, I'll fix it for you. Do you put Blu-Tack

over your laptop's webcam? No. If someone really wants to watch me wanking, they can. At PeteWanking.com. Is that right? I don't really understand

this kind of fascination with... I'm fairly certain... I'm sure there's ways around it, but I'm fairly certain just a basic browser-based hack would,

the Mac has a light on it every time the webcam comes on, doesn't it? Yeah. And I'm fairly certain that is hard-coded into the actual camera's firmware, hardware side rather than software side. So I think most times if you turn it on, the light will come on. Do you know why I do it? Why? Because I saw a video insert VT in a news bulletin of Mark Zuckerberg.

Even he's doing it, yeah. And he had it on there. And I thought, well, if he's doing it. Well, he's got secrets. He's got, you know, he's probably of more interest. He's got secrets, but he's also got means. You think he'd have some sort of pretty good internet security. Yeah.

I mean, you're Mark Zuckerberg, for fuck's sake. He's part internet. I mean, we joke about you being part internet. Did you see him at that hearing he is part internet he looks like there's that beautiful shot where he's got quite red eyes

and he's being he's been hauled over the course about something in some kind of court I forget what it was it was I can't it was something about the

it's the election I think it's the election it's the election yeah I think so yeah and he's got really red eyes and there's the rest of his the rest of his skin is quite is it pallor or sallow I forget I think so, yeah. And he's got really red eyes and the rest of his skin is quite...

Is it Palo or Salo? I think both works. But Pallid. Pallid, yeah. Pallid works, yeah. A Pallid complexion. And he looks like he's been bitten by a zombie but he doesn't want to tell anyone.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Speaking of Arnold Schwarzenegger, have you checked out his TikTok? Can I just say, before you do that, he always reminds me of someone who looks like he's playing the lead in a ultra-futuristic remake of Pinocchio. I love that, yeah.

Where it's not a puppet, it's actually like a hand-drawn. It's a human, yeah. That'll be next after Dumbo. Yeah. Have you seen Arsenal? Arnold Schwarzenegger's TikTok is wonderful. It's like videos of him chasing after a tiny horse

on a BMX. And he's wearing a leather jacket and a cowboy hat. This is what the founding fathers of the internet imagined. This is what TikTok's all about. And then he feeds the tiny donkey a carrot. If someone said to me, the internet is going to wreak all this havoc upon the world

in a presentation and I had the decision whether to turn it off or on or not, and they ended with that video, I'd say on the balance to be honest, on the balance of all that, I'm actually going to say, we're going to stick with it. Leave it on. Yeah. What is TikTok again?

Chinese social media. It's a Chinese, I think it's Chinese and I think you can do miming. So they've got loads of audio clips, I think,

that they produce themselves of famous songs, famous licensed TV comedy clips and stuff and you could basically mime to them basically and do it. And that's how it started. People use them to upload any video now. Yeah, I think so.

But I think it's a bit like Vine, I guess. You're kind of, there's very short clips where you're just dicking about really. Right. But it's become incredibly popular with the youth. The youth. The youth, them.

Yeah. All right, cool. Peter, should we have a little break? Yes. But it's become incredibly popular with the youth. The youth. The youth, then. Yeah. All right, cool. Peter, should we have a little break? Yes. And then after that, we're going to do some emails. It should be exciting. It should be. The great Simon Le Bon.

A little kiss is all we need. It's actually quite hard for people who can sing to sing out of tune. Do you ever notice that? Yeah. Is that a burp? That was one of those burps that you don't really sell. It's a no-sell burp. I find it very easy to burp out of tune.

It sort of wobbles out of your throat. Sometimes I do it on air, but luckily I've usually got a bit of music underneath me. Seriously, everyone listening, if you're at home and you're on your own and there's no one going to judge you or whatever, in fact, if there is, don't worry about it, and you know for a fact that you can sing,

challenge yourself to try and sing a song out of tune and it's very difficult. Okay. Not you. You can hold a tune, that's okay. I can hold a tune. The email address is hello at lukeandpeatshow.com. Hello.

We're sort of not drowning under it. We're definitely drowning rather than waving under the weight of all the emails, which is fantastic. Thank you very much. We're trying to work our way through them.

As a result, we're normally a little bit behind. Pete, have you got one to hand? I've got one from Sam Wingrove. Go on, mate.

I think Sam was in the email before, hasn't he? You crack on with it. Oh, she could be a she. Hello, chaps. Further to a couple

of mentions of Little Latin Deck feeling the wrath of Bruce Willis. I'm hoping I can add to the archive of Tales of Little Ant and Dec feeling the wrath of Bruce Willis, I'm hoping I can add to the archive of Talesmark's celebrity speed utter shits to children. Oh, good. In 2005, Zach Braff was the subject of Ashton Kutcher's

prank show Punk'd. Remember that? I do remember it. The basic premise being that after entering a liquor store with his Scrubs co-star and Punk'd co-conspirator Donald Faison, a couple of kids would set about Braff's brand new Porsche with spray paint. After seeing this, Braff would then presumably

ruffle the young scallywags and send them on his way or their way. Unfortunately for the child actor involved, Braff decided to take a different route. After a short chase, the whippersnapper is caught and Braff decides to hand out what is sometimes referred to as a fucking good hiding. Oh my God.

And at this point, does he not know? He doesn't know, no. Yeah, okay. After alternating between punches to the stomach and screaming obscenities at the child, the production team

finally step in and alert Braff to what is happening. Suffice to say, the segment was heavily edited when aired, but still did enough to put Denton Braff

squeaky clean in it. That's funny, because you wouldn't expect it of him, because he's the sort of No, I would definitely Really? Yeah, he's got some

darkness in his soul. Isn't he that sort of Godfather of Mumblecore type indie movie Garden State, I Love the Shins type kind of guy? Yeah, he's got some darkness in his soul. Isn't he that sort of Godfather of Mumblecore type indie movie, Garden State, I Love the Shins type kind of guy? Yeah. Obviously, which launched him.

But I suppose, if you're having a bad day and that happens, people can just flip their wig, can't they? Well, if you are that squeaky clean and you're, you know,

supposedly a force for good and it's just, and somebody, you know, if somebody drew on my car, I'd be like, I don't care, I don't have a car. That's not my car, dickhead. So it's on you, somebody, you know, if somebody drew on my car, I'd be like, oh, I don't care, I don't have a car.

That's not my car, dickhead. So it's on you, you've punked yourself. Congratulations, you just played yourself. Self-punked, SP'd,

but yeah, it's, yeah, I, I'm, he looks a bit, like he's got a bit of darkness in his soul,

doesn't he? Like, you've got a bit of a temper on you. Yeah. It's not, it's not physically dangerous, but it is quite, it can explode.

You've never seen me go that hard. I've never seen you at full capacity what's the most I've seen you at out of 100% 70% 70%

I've got more in my tank you're more baffling than intimidating it's kind of like what's happening with this it's like a labyrinth I let you into a labyrinth

and you never get out it is a bit like that you'll never find me or the mine at all and if I'd gone that way I'd have gone straight to the castle what about this

from Casey Cook? He says, I really enjoyed the discussion on Empire of the Summer Moon, which is a book I talked about a week or so ago about the Comanche Indians. Casey gets in touch

with this bit of information, Pete. Nearly all of your road trip from Denver to Austin was in Comanche territory. Is that right? So you would travel through it. He says, it's really hard to grasp

the size and variety of territory they controlled until you see it close up. I'm just saying on the show, I think it's something like to the tune of 240,000 square miles, which is incredible really. The change in altitude from Austin to Amarillo, which are both in Texas, is

3,200 feet. So what is rain in Austin will be a hard-driving sleet or snow mixture in amarillo roughly 500 miles equivalent distance to london to hanover in germany rolling plains high arid desert all the way up to the rocky mountains as a texan it was amazing to read just how incredible these people were it should be required reading for all students in the united states and especially colorado new mexico oklahoma and oklahoma and tex. Love the show. Thanks, Casey. So further context to what were a really fascinating and impressive group of people.

They were also horrendously violent. And some of the stuff in that book does not bear repeating on a family show. But be warned if you do go and check it out. Hey, you've got to defend your land. Empire of the Summer Moon. That is by S.C. Gwynne. Have you ever been to Amarillo? I have never been to Texas. There's a great... Oh, I love Texas. It's one of the best Moon. That is by S.C. Gwynne. Have you ever been to Amarillo? I have never been to Texas.

There's a great... Oh, I love Texas. It's one of the most places I'd probably live. There's a beautiful art installation where they've just jammed a lot of Cadillacs into the ground. Oh, I can see that. And you climb on there and spray paint them. And it's just littered with cans,

empty spray-painted cans where people have spray-painted them. I think politically, it's kind of like a ranch. Politically, you would find it very difficult to live in Texas, Peter. Why? Well, because you're already complaining about the Tories here.

I mean, Texas, my goodness me. Yeah, well, that's okay, yeah. Yeah, a little liberal enclave. A little enclave. This is the email that, when I first read it, I didn't know if it was real or not, and I do not want to be

in any way disrespectful of Giles, who's got in touch about it. So I'm going to take it on face value, because I think that's probably the best way to approach it. A very interesting angle and something I've never encountered before. So do you remember when we started talking about phobias? And you said, I think it was all kicked off by the fact that you said you've got a phobia of seeing rolled ankles.

And then someone got in touch and said, I've got a phobia of broken glasses, as in spectacles. Well, this is another one on that vein, and it's from Giles, and he says, in the vein of making myself look strange

to give you guys some show content, I'm going to tell you about my phobia of stickers. As in, like, panini stickers? I can't explain why, really,

and I have no issues with stickers and albums and places that they belong. I was an avid Premier League sticker album collector in my youth. But but essentially the idea of having a sticker on my clothes makes me feel very irritated and bordering on ill I think it started as a kid when friends would stick their swaps to bedposts and also the kids at school who would put their granny smith apple stickers on their contact books on their textbooks and this wasn't even anything to do

with me or my belongings however I still couldn't stop thinking about it two scenarios i've been in more than once that have made me really uncomfortable were donating money to the lifeboat charity and really offending the lady by refusing one of the little stickers as well as the terror of having to wear a name badge at group-based interviews and inevitably having to try and concentrate on being professional rather than the horrible sticky intruder on my shirt. I appreciate this is irrational, but I wondered if any of your listeners can relate. I have Googled this and couldn't find anything about this specific phobia.

Keep up the good work, Giles. Well, it's kind of weird. It's like a, I think it's a situation where you have a, because the sticker doesn't really, if you put it on clothes, it kind of floats off the fibres, isn't it? So that's actually quite a bit eerie, I think. There were a lot of people on the march.

You see them all around town now, all those little yellow... We don't want a Brexit stickers all over the place. We don't want a Brexit. We don't want a Brexit or whatever they say. I don't want a war like that. Speak, the Hungarian rapper. We don't want a war. And you see them quite a lot all over the gaff.

But I saw a lot of people putting them on, like suede and stuff. I was like, oh, you're just going to get the fibres all sticky. Yeah. Yeah. I don't have a fibre. I don't really have a phobia of the fibres, but clearly this man does. How do you get on with wearing football shirts

in this really hot studio, by the way? You have a real... I think you have a phobia of wearing football shirts. Like, because you think if you sweat... It makes me feel very clammy. Clammy? Yeah. Because Charlie works here. He wears football shirts all the time in the office. How do you get away wearing that?

Doesn't it make you feel clammy? Well, it's a lighter shirt than you would usually wear. He says it's much more cool. Yeah. That's what they're designed for. I don't really understand. Yeah, anyway. What the problem is. Yeah, what have you got there, mate? Oh, what have I got there? Hello to Brad. Hi, Brad, from Century, which sounds like a lovely place to be.

Century? Century. That's not the radio station, is it? Is that still going, Pete? I think it might have been absorbed by either the Bauer Corporation or the Global Corporation. I always forget. Right. Way back in episode 87, there was talk of a pharmacist having a look through pictures in order to select the proper medicine to prescribe for a rash, only to flip too far through the photo album

to see a toilet slash poop egg. I love this. Yeah, I remember that. That's good. This awakened a deep, dark memory from when me and my wife were still dating back around 2011. She had a cousin, who I knew as well, who was having a big family dinner thrown for him upon his discharge from the military. We were sitting near him at the table,

among probably 50 or other family members, when he passed his phone over for us to see a few recent pictures of his daughter. I know where this is going. In a fatal error of ignorance, my wife and I swiped one picture too far, and what was there was still burned into my memory, nor my family pictures,

but rather a picture of his wife going down on him. I'll spare you any other details. Oh, for goodness sake. What an angle, Lord. John Ford quality scene arrangement. My wife quickly swiped back, said, wow, she's beautiful, and we never spoke of it again,

not to this day. That is crazy. Check your album for a few good pictures front and back before you hand the phone over for viewing. I mean, look,

if you're in the Marines or you're in the military, that's, you know, you're away for a long time. Yeah. You need something. Yeah, but I mean, you've got to be self-censoring that kind of stuff.'re away for a long time yeah you need something yeah but I mean you've got to be

self-censoring that kind of stuff put it in a folder and also it's the expectation versus the reality if you say to me look at this picture

of this mad I don't know like this mad stunt or this guy parachuting from whatever and then you flick too far

and you see a sexy pic it's not as jarring. You don't want to see it. You're like, oh, that's a bit weird. But if someone says to me, look at this picture of my beautiful four-year-old daughter or whatever it is. And then it goes right to that.

I think even if you enjoy a picture of your beautiful daughter and then you're knowing full well that the picture is next door, I don't think you're going to enjoy either picture. No. Exactly, yeah. It's tainted.

It's like Ricky Gervais Does a good bit Of his most recent stand up Where he talks about Looking at other people's kids And he says You've got a sweet spot Of how you can say

They're beautiful Because if you go Really quickly Oh yeah they're beautiful It looks like you haven't Taken the time But if you go too slowly And go

Oh yeah She's really beautiful It looks like You've got to go in the middle You've got to go Right in the middle You've got to be so careful Haven't you

Yeah absolutely I may have actually Looked at my camera roll beautiful you've got to go in the middle you've got to write in the middle yeah absolutely the um uh i may actually uh looked at my camera roll um last week and he sort of said like most of my camera roll is just screenshots of other stuff yeah like just screenshots of other stuff um there's a lot of willies in there but they're not mine um they're just little kind of um pictures that i've kind of photoshopped and stuff. I find Willy's endlessly hilarious. Yeah, I would agree with that. I've had two really bad stinkers over the last couple of weeks. So I noticed that there's a band I really like called Secret Machines,

and they put out a show. So I went to a gig by the Secret Machines about 15 years ago, something like that, and it was brilliant. It was one of the best gigs I've ever seen. And I always talk about, I always talk about, whenever it comes up, people ask those kind of boring pub questions.

I'll always like list it as a brilliant show. They were sponsored, they were supported by M83, or I also like, anyway, it was just brilliant. And it's off the back of one of my favorite albums, their first album,

which is now, now here is nowhere. Anyway, imagine my surprise when I saw on a recommended link on my Facebook page about two weeks ago, oh, we've finished the poll and the voters come in and the secret machines at the garage in 2004 or whatever has been voted as the one we're going to make and we're going to press this into a vinyl and you can buy it. And I was like, fucking hell, amazing, right? So straight away away obviously only available

in the US so I went they're from Texas they're from Austin I think actually weirdly enough maybe something like that

straight on there 40 quid for the vinyl or whatever it is 10 quid for delivery I was like great got it it's a limited present of 500

took a screenshot of the prospective album cover sent it to my mates on the group chat and got a load of laughing emojis back. And it's not the gig I actually went to.

The one I went to was Electric Ballroom down the road. This is a completely different show. And then secondly, I bought a record the other day by a band called New Age, because their artwork looks amazing, and it's like, I was like, fucking hell, that's brilliant. I'm going to buy that. I love New Age.

Bought that. Again, mate got in touch.'m going to buy that. I love New Age. Bought that. Again, mate got in touch. It's not New Age. It's No Age, a completely different band. New Age is some sort of medieval metal band. I've never heard them before. Can I introduce you to something I like to call streaming technology? Yeah, I should have done that.

I think you're mugging yourself off every time. A lot of my photos are basically sending pictures to you. Big shoes. This big walrus over the top of a submarine hatch. He looks heavy and sleepy, doesn't he? Tons of tons of blubber. And yeah, sending pictures of my cats to you and sending pictures of Robert Wadlow, the tallest ever man's poses, shoes, clothes,

things he got up to. Did you see that animal? I had a picture on my camera roll of it. Ooh, Pete and Luke's camera roll of that animal. I can't remember. It looks a bit like a water hoggy kind of character. But he's basically the horns. What do you call them?

The tusks. Tusks, yeah. This animal, the male tusks can grow to such an extent it actually pierces their own brain and kills them. Isn't that incredible? That is fairly... I'm led to believe that is fairly common in the rodent community right that's what they have to sharpen their so if you get a gerbil or a hamster whatever otherwise that's what they've got to sharpen their teeth because they just keep growing and they and i think they pierce their own

brains gross that's what i've heard before wow uh paul from birmingham hello paul from birmingham good evening chaps came across an interesting and somewhat disturbing story that is almost certain to result in a trademark goodness me from Mr Donaldson good though I read about how

in the 1970s a real corpse was used in a Californian fun parks fun house what? to make things more interesting the corpse wasn't

just any old corpse it was the corpse of a famous bank and railway robber and was only discovered when a crew member for the film Six Million Dollar Man

who were filming parts of the film at the park, attempted to move the corpse, which he thought was a model, and inadvertently pulled its arm off. I know this is hard to believe, much like a small child munching on frozen sausages and living to tell a tale, but just like Pete's frozen meat escapades, this is also 100% true. I've included a link to the article below and also

a short YouTube video as well. Real bodies are used in films, or they certainly used to be used in films, a lot more often than you'd like to think about. Yeah, famously, Apocalypse Now, I think, used dead human bodies for a bit, I think, and they got busted for it, obviously, because it's horrific. Life is cheap, baby.

Well, no, I think it's legal to do. I think you can buy skulls and skeletons and bones. I think they shot it in the Philippines, and I don't think it was legal to do I think you can buy skulls and skeletons and bones I think they shot it in the Philippines and I don't think

it was legal at the time there and I think the authorities got involved I think there's an amazing

Apocalypse Now like fucking 15 DVD set the Apocalypse Now Redux version which I think has got a documentary on it

and I'm freestyling here because this is like 20 years ago when i had it uh i think dennis hopper might be high the entire time even in the documentary as well um but yeah so it has been has been done before but that seems a bit rich i mean that's gonna there's gonna be kids knocking about there well it's gonna be stinking isn't it i don't know how it must have somehow kind of uh like it must have gone a bit waxy yeah you think'd think so. You'd think you'd be like because it would absolutely

re couldn't it. Yeah all right listen hello at LukeandPeach.com for those of you who were tempted to get in touch but haven't done so yet we'd

love to hear from you. Love to know what you think about the film Us. Have you seen that? Love to know that was me suppressing

another burp. Love to hear if you've got any sort of speculative and quite tenuous claims to fame in the line of that bus conductor I was talking about earlier,

who turned out to be Family Fortunes host and actor, Richard Dawson. Not Richard Dawkins. That's someone different. And yeah, we'll see you on Monday. We hope you have a lovely weekend, don't we, Pete? We do. Take it away, Pete.

How does everybody get in touch with the show? Hello at LukeandPeteShow.com. We are at LukeandPeteShow on Twitter. If you tweet us pictures of your batteries and you don't see a reply, that's because the new player has not entered the game. If a new player has entered the game, a completely new brand of batteries,

we will say so. We'll cover it. Yeah, at LukeandPeteShow on Twitter. Hello at LukeandPeteShow.com on the email. We'll see you on Monday. See you Monday. Have a great weekend. This was a Radio Stakhanov production.