The Luke and Pete Show - Episode 159: Superglue your hands together

Episode Date: April 15, 2019

Happy Monday y'all! The terrible two are back! On the agenda today: Stewie D's weekend in The Big Smoke and his unorthodox moisturising technique, a man that's sued his family for destroying his porn collection, and Pete's guide to tech, wires and storage. Those items are all unrelated, by the way.We also take the time to appreciate Tiger Woods' recent achievement in winning the Masters a colossal 22 years after his first victory, and take in emails on imaginary childhood games, more dogs in school and much, much more.Don't be a stranger: [e-mail] ciao!***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

🎵 Yeah boss! Yeah boss! Yo! Champagne Pappy here! Pete Donaldson! How you doing Luke? I thought I was going to have to fight over the music and I was prepared to do that. Okay. I'm alright, how are you? Are you up for a battle battle this early on a Monday?

A rap battle? A rap battle. It's not that early for me. I've been here for like three hours, mate. I've been up and about. I've been grafting. You've been lifting by the look of it. I've been lifting? You know how I know you've been lifting this morning? Why? Because you've rolled your shirt sleeves up. No, they're just up by default. They're pinned. Oh, you think you're James Dean? I think I'm James.

I just want to have a little... Get a 20-decker fags in there. Exactly. Exactly. Is that what they call it? 20 decks? I don't know. I don't smoke.... I just want to have a little... Get a 20-decker fags in there. Exactly, exactly. Is that what they call it? 20 decks? I don't know. I don't smoke. I'm just trying to sound cool, aren't I? It's more like...

Who's the bad man out of The Simpsons? He's always got a pack of cigs up there. Mr. Burns? No, he's like a petty robber, petty thief. Oh, okay, yeah, yeah. I don't remember his name. I know who you mean. I'd really love to see you in that T-shirt,

20-deo up your sleeve a Vietnam War era hard hat with war is hell written on it in marker pen cigarette hanging out your mouth

taking his daughter to the prom yeah yeah that wasn't where I was going with it but you can eating a slice of

apple pie yeah you could do that I think apple pie you know that people say as American as apple pie originally I think apple pie was invented, you could do that. I think apple pie isn't, you know, people say as American as apple pie. Right.

Originally, I think apple pie was invented during Henry VIII's time in England. Oh, right, okay. I think, I think.

So, I was first. Our American cousins have perhaps adopted it and it's now become synonymous with the American way of life. But,

I believe it's rooted in English culture. Okay, kicking Native Americans off your property or their property, pie, would possibly be more fitting

around about that time. I don't think the English, this is shaky ground for the English as well, mate. Yeah, no, we don't win. We are the worst. We had a hell of an empire, though. We had a good run, though, didn't we? Luke, oh, it was brilliant.

Sun never sets, Pete. Sun never sets, but apparently. What have we got left? Do you want that? I think if British people are the worst I think we are two of the worst examples

of the worst as well because we had potential and we pissed it away we pissed it away and now we're stuck in this room together we got given all of the bricks and look what we're doing

we're in a room talking about you know shit you can't even roll your sleeves down properly no terrible anyway how are you

how was your weekend good survived the onslaught the battle of Stuart Donaldson visiting oh yes Roll your sleeves down properly. No. Terrible. Anyway, how are you? How was your weekend? Good. Survived the onslaught, the Battle of Stuart Donaldson visiting to watch the show. So the last our listeners will remember is our intrepid hero, you.

Our protagonist was currently sleeping on the sofa at work because his own father had usurped him. And I've got an addendum to that that the listeners won't be aware

of but i'll just bring them up to speed your dad also sent you out for super glue presumably to glue together the cracks in his fingers yeah he's got he's gone way beyond moisturizer he's got very dry hands because he handles paper all day uh because he's like an admin assistant at a at a it's like his retirement job basically uh he's just part-time and and he has very dry hands and instead of moisturising he decides to glue the cracks together with super glue

which is I know and I realise is demented yeah have you spoken to him about that practice

well he's left with a lot of super glue and all that he's found the one pound shop in London which is in

Camden Town to get some super glue he went all the way to Camden Town to go to the Jewish Museum and also buy some super glue as well.

And the one fact about super glue that everyone knows, but probably you don't. It's delicious. Yes, very good. It's very warming. Nice with the roast potatoes and a couple of asparagus spears.

No, it was invented during the Vietnam War as a rapid way of gluing wounds together. Oh, nice. That's why it sticks your fingers so well. So I guess it kind of fits for me dad. It kind of works for me, Dad, I guess. I mean, should he be doing that? No.

No, he shouldn't. And what did he say when you told him he shouldn't be doing that? He said, well, to be honest, I got back to my house on Sunday after a stag do in the morning and he had put some incredibly caustic chemicals on the toilet.

Which is worrying. So, yeah. It's like a scene in Breaking Bad where the body comes through the roof. Yeah, I don't know it like the scene in Breaking Bad where the body comes through the roof? Yeah, I don't know what he'd done in the house, but he put some very,

some kind of soda down the toilet, probably ruining my pipes. Did he enjoy Rich Hall? He did immensely and he was annoyed with himself for not buying a CD

at the end. Oh, right. But I went on the website and just bought him a couple of cents on them. That's nice of you. Good son, aren't you did he meet Rich afterwards

no I think you could only meet him if you bought a CD I think that's the ruse when did we get to that stage with a ramble we have many CDs

we should just put on his podcast on a CD and go there you go I've got a mate who too up until recently I don't know

if he still does he probably doesn't listen to this so he won't be able to tell me I have to ask him separately he

you said I mean up until very recently he would download the podcast Troy doesn't listen to this, so he won't be able to tell me. I'll have to ask him separately. He, you said, I mean up until very recently, he would download the podcast in MP3 and burn them all onto CD and listen to it in the car. I don't know how much you could get on a CD though. Probably only about three or four. Depends on if,

I imagine modern or slightly modern CD players as of maybe 10 years ago probably had an MP3 function so you could fit more songs on. So I imagine you could fit a canny few. Before we went to 128k stereo sound, you could probably fit a canny few. Our fast sounds were only about 15 or 16 meg,

weren't they? Yeah. What is it, 74 meg on a CD? No, 650 meg. Oh, sorry. Get with it. Get out. I will not continue this podcast.

So you could probably get a good handful on there, a fistful. Overwriting, you'd probably get 750 if you'd been really clever about it. Will that limit the quality, Pete? Possibly. You could re-encode. Okay, good to know.

It's good to know. Imagine, I would say, 32 kilobytes per second monofile would probably be a little bit beyond the pill, but it would only be a couple of megs big. On Monday, Pete, the winners of the 20... I say Monday, it's Monday today,

but this is for people who maybe aren't listening on Monday the 15th of April. So for our purposes, for today, the winners of the 2019 Pulitzer Prizes in Journalism, Fiction and Music will be named. Are we up for one? Are we in the frame? Is it yet another oversight by the good people?

Yet another blunder. Yet another snub. Unbelievable. We can't get within, I'm going to say it, Pete. A Nat's chuff. We can't get within a Nat's chuff,

nay a country mile of the British Podcast Awards. So imagine if you won a Pulitzer over and above that. Yeah. I would go to the British Podcast Awards

with my Pulitzer. I'm fine. I'm full, thanks. I've got mine. I'm full. I'd buy a seat for it. I'd pay the extra 80 quid or whatever it is

to buy a seat there and put the Pulitzer in it. Unfortunately, as you well know, I am absolutely, what's the word I'm looking for? Aroused? Repellent to awards.

Right, okay. I do a show on a Friday with Danny Kelly. He's a brilliant broadcaster. Amazing. It's an education for me every time and he has three shows on TalkSport

two of them were nominated for awards at the Radio Awards guess which one wasn't the one that you're involved in yeah

the one that I'm on so there you go it's life isn't it well it's one in the eye for Laura Woods as well so you know it's all you know

I think if anything the judges are being sexist Sky Sports Laura Woods I think's gonna be fine yeah she'll be Sky Sports Laura Woods I think is going to be fine yeah she'll be fine I spent an hour with her earlier

she is a pro and she's absolutely fine she's not hanging out I've got a new story here that I am enjoying and to be honest somebody got in touch and sent it to us

mere seconds after I read it and I thought that would be a good story for the podcast it's definitely up on our street but then Timothy Woolgar

sent us a message. He's on the same wavelength as you. He clearly is or he certainly knows how my brain works. How does it feel to be on the same wavelength

because of a man called Timothy? Rare. Rare. Very rare. My dad's called Timothy, by the way. Oh, is it? Yeah.

What's his middle name? He's not got one. No. No. I've not got one. Have you got one? Yes. You know I have.

So he thought he'd atone for the crimes of his father by giving you a middle name. I so he so he thought he'd atoned for the crimes of his sin of his father by giving you a middle name i think he probably thought there's some unused real estate and that mistake should not be made again okay so like he put like a you see because your middle name is famously um diet coke in it so yes it is yeah luke the full name is luke diet coke uh no it's luke diet coke never heard of it peps. The choice of a new generation. Right, okay. My middle name's Aaron, as you well know.

Oh, yes, it is, yeah. Because it's on everything. That's all your usernames. That's my name, isn't it? I just think it's risky. You just leave yourself open to impersonators. What's your middle? Don't have one. Yeah.

Don't have one. My dad doesn't have one. It's not right. I don't see the point in not using it when it's been given to you as a name. Yeah, I know. So I use it. Yeah.

Mine was given to me in the 80s and it was like Bopal or something. Like really unfashionable company that doesn't exist anymore didn't your dad want you to be called Diggory

yeah I mean that could have been my middle name Pete Diggory Donaldson it's not even a name it isn't

where did he get that from I don't know his brother's called Ralph Ralph yeah Ralph which is like a

northeast variant of Ralph how do you spell it I don't know you don't know how to spell your own uncle's name I think it might even I've never met him

they were problematic inside the family. But Ralph was, it's what North Eastoners call, it's like a dickhead, you fucking Ralph.

It's an insult and his name was literally an insult, fucking Ralph. Speaking of problematic family, if we can pull that curtain back a little

bit, I've got a family member, who I'm not going to name, who I think is in jail for cutting the brakes on his wife's car. Yeah. You've never told that story on air. I've told you that before.

You've told me that before and I'm glad you've mentioned it now because it's fascinating. Was it way on your mind? Was it way on your mind? He just wasn't at a family function at one point and I was like, where is he? He's normally always here. Apparently that happened. Busy, came back with oily hands. Yeah. I don't know what Stretchy's doing,

but I think people think, when they see me on Instagram eating avocados and stuff, they think I'm quite middle class. Maybe I am, but I don't come from that background. Lord Lucan was pretty posh, and he caused all kinds of bother, didn't he? Exactly. Anyway, Timothy.

Murder does not know class lines. No, exactly. If anything, if you're a bit posh, you probably think you can get away with anything. Exactly. Anyway, Timothy. Murder is not, does not know class lines. No, exactly. If anything, if you're a bit posh, you probably think you can get away with anything. Yeah. In Grand Rapids,

Michigan, an unidentified man, age 40, is suing his parents for $87,000 for dumping his porn collection. Apparently, he'd been living with his folks

following a divorce, but recently moved into his own home. When his folks delivered his stuff to the new digs, his 12 boxes of pornography magazines and films

were nowhere to be found. He called the cops but the Ottawa County Prosecutor would not pursue charges. In an email filed as evidence in the suit the man's father wrote

I did you a big favour by getting rid of all this stuff. Apparently the porn has an estimated value of $29,000 but the man is seeking

triple financial damages. Is he single? Well, he is now. He's divorced. Oh, okay. Probably why he was divorced in the first place. Well, you've got $29,000 worth of pornography here. I just don't know if you...

Limited resale value. As passionate as you, a man or a woman, can be about their hobbies, and I get that. Yeah. You know, you get people who divert, turn their whole homes into beer cans. Trains.

Things and train sets and everything and I remember the guy who do you remember the story about the porn shed on this show a few months back

where the guy his shed caught fire and it was full of porn and the porn magazines were going everywhere oh right yes so it reminds me of that but

I mean your name's being dragged through the mud there mate why would you why would you I don't care how well he's unnamed so maybe he's allowed the

that's going to come out one of the cases done is coming out isn't it one way or the other that's coming out well yeah well you'll know that he's got

89,000 I mean that's a lot of money to sue your parents for what would you do then if say you moved out say you're cohabiting with a wife or a girlfriend

and you move to another house and she got rid of all your wires similar situation yeah i mean i've always lived in like larger houses than i and then that i do now so i've always had room for them there's always been a little cupboard i can shove them in so yeah you but seriously would that be a problem if someone got rid of all those wires do you need them um no because a lot of them are are for products that don't exist anymore. I found a weird

little, I think it's called a game pack, kind of console that you plugged in the back of the telly and it had a little remote control sort of controller. It was like an Android-based device. How old? I don't think I've ever plugged that in, Luke. How old? Five years? Six years, maybe? What's your cut-off? Are you a hoarder? Do you think this might come in handy

one day? I've still got a GP32 which is like an unbacklit um little games console that could play it still took it could play like old emulated games and stuff and it took um before the sd card there was the slightly larger thicker ones that you'd kind of see every now and again in the back of an older camera, like a video camera, that holds about two, four gigs, something like that. And before that, there was a very thin, and I can see you stifling a yawn here, a very thin, kind of almost like, after it, mint-sized, kind of flat card.

I forget what they were called. MMCs, maybe, I can't remember. But they were really thin and really large, about the size of four posture stamps, and it still used one of those. And I will never, that's not a wow moment, but I just drifted off for a second there. Do you remember when mobile phone SIM cards were credit cards? Yeah, that was my first one.

But what I was trying to get to the bottom of, is you go home, you look for a drawer full of wires, or a cupboard full of wires, and you come across, you happen across, an full of wires or a cupboard full of wires and you come across, you happen across an old common old garden mini jack to mini jack or HDMI to HDMI.

Not gold plated, not high performance. They're always going to be, they're always going to be useful in a pinch. So that's what you think, you think, well,

I need to keep these because of that. Yeah. So for example, why do they not have to shell out £12 to get an extended mini jack to mini jack

cable for the studio when you probably have one at home? Because I would have to sell it to the company. And if you'd like me to start doing that, we're fucked. Because you love

all your children equally. Yeah, exactly. It's not happening now. Listen, never apologise for tech chat. Along with battery chat, people love it. I bought this iPad

for Japanese homework and now I can't do my Japanese homework. So that is why Japanese is so bad because we can have sounds like this. So, Sheikh, you're telling me that drinking camel's urine

is part of the din? Ach, you don't get me wrong. Or sounds like this. Gentlemen, this is Democracy Manifest. Julian Assange there. He's had a week of it, hasn't he? He has, yeah. He has had a right old week of it.

By the way, before we go to the ad break and then by definition afterwards the email section Tiger Woods little mensch

for Tiger Woods hasn't he done well he was very emotional at the end of that and it kind of obviously mirrored the embrace with his late father

in 97 it did it was very lovely you're absolutely right Pete I couldn't agree more and you know what to get to the very top

of your game, any game, and never mind something as competitive as a world-famous, world-respected sport, takes a lot of hard work, dedication, of course. And I just think it won't go underplayed by the time this show comes out because I'm sure every newspaper will be covering it. But I hope when they cover it,

they talk about it in the terms of a 22 year gap between his first masters and the masters he won which is one of the hardest things to win in any anything of sport the one he won uh yesterday and not only that to go to the depths he he went to and come back think just how much generally speaking I know he won majors I think into about 2008 so even then it's still a 10-11 year gap think how much sport moves on

generally in a generation if a generation say 12 years think how much sport moves on technology new players coming through better athletes

everything gets better over time everything improves if you watch a football game 20 years ago it looks ridiculous compared to now you watch the 100 metre

final at the Olympics in 24 years ago and watch it now yeah watching that Harry's Heroes nonsense on the telly where they took like footballers who

you know Matt Letizia never really relied on speed but he looks ridiculous even when playing like a young women's team or like

some under 16s or something and for Woods to to climb that mountain again, regardless of anyone's opinion about his personal life, which my take on it is irrelevant. I don't understand what he did. What were his crimes?

Not what were his crimes, but were they just, you know, he cheated a couple of times? So that's barely, that's why he's tainted, because he had some extramarital affairs, et cetera, et cetera. Yeah, so there's a couple of facets to it,

which I won't go into the detail of because it will be forever, but it's that. And there's also the way he was treated by the US sports manufacturer sponsors, how he was hauled over the coals, how he was treated. Because really, it was a case of,

in my opinion, it was a case of, and it was an extension of, in the UK, we love to build people up and knock them down. Obviously, because he's a black man, a white-dom white dominated sport he had to put up with that kind of stuff anyway yeah and they took quite a lot of pleasure in my opinion from the outside looking in yeah in him hitting rock bottom yeah um but they always they always say like uh people of color have to be

twice as clean twice as good well they got twice as far to full as before as well but you don't you know what it's not even anything to do with that. What it has to do with is, take 97 where he won the Masters, take 2019, 22 years later, where he wins the Masters again. That would be remarkable anyway. But the man was in such a bad state that he had a fused back. Right.

Where he had to have quite invasive surgery where the doctors and the surgeons' main concern were his quality of life and him being able to walk into old age. To go from that to being apparently, allegedly having issues with painkillers, being caught under the influence of his car due to that kind of thing.

I'm not trying to gloss over any of that. I'm not trying to sort of cheapen or trivialise anything that he may have done wrong, any of his transgressions. But the arc is unbelievable for him to go back to the very top of the game again. Just the determination,

the hard work, he had to completely rebuild his golf swing. I think, and people can get in touch, hello at lukeandpeacher.com. In terms of sport, I think it might be unprecedented

what he's achieved. And Jack Nicklaus, the other great golfer in history, clearly won majors over a large period of time and won more majors than Tiger Woods currently has. But I don't think he went through the adversity that Woods has been through.

So I'd love to know if anyone thinks if it's happened on that scale before. Because to me, it feels like it's unprecedented. And that moment yesterday was one of, if not the most impressive comebacks in the history of sport. Is it better than when that golfer popped his ankle? He was involved. That upset me. Was he playing? He was in the final group. Oh, it better than when that golfer popped his ankle? He was involved.

That upset me. Was he playing? He was in the final group. Oh, was he? Yeah. That's nice. He's back on top. You see what he did in the Par 3 tournament?

No. So he popped his ankle up last year in the Par 3 tournament. So when he turned up on the tee for the Par 3 tournament this year, he had an ankle air cast on as a bit of bants. A bit of bants. A little joke. Yeah, great. Good, right?

He should have just did a limp that would have been easier to administer but one of the most traumatic events of the

last year or so for you wasn't it that ankle somebody sent me a Leeds United fan who popped who completely shattered his ankle

completely broke his ankle celebrating a goal celebrating a goal it looks like a road it looks like it looks like a

road having two turns in it. It's so weird. I don't want that. It's a mess. Don't want that. You're still smiling. You're still enjoying it.

I imagine he probably would have had it maybe before or after. Yeah, there might have been something he's taken for medicinal purposes. Let's take a break and come back

and then do some emails. Oh, is that not the break? Oh, it's a new break. Let's do another one. All right. Let's do another one. See that chap over there?

Get your hand off my penis! Julius Sanchez. I didn't make a note of the last ad break, so we'll do another one. Okay, well, that's

an ad break. That is the ad break. Yeah. The definitive ad break. Maybe we'll do two ad breaks,

get more money, get some more bank. Hello at LukeandPete.com is the email address. It's my personal

highlight of the show, reading other people's stories. Yeah. Other people's grot. Yeah. Pete, why don't you go first, mate?

All right, then. You were really enthusiastic about an email you read earlier, so I'm going to read that out. It's not this one. Kieran, I enjoy Kieran's email a lot. That's why I'm reading it out. Hello, Kieran Lavrick, which is a beautiful name. Kieran what?

Kieran Lavrick. Very nice. Beautiful. Gents, enjoying the pod. One of the doctors got on recently and half suggested a topic on something like people from school with surprising jobs.

Not sure what he said exactly but I like the idea because a sniff of an idea from Kieran there. A lad at school once explained a theory on Kirk Cabane's suicide to me in the most gory detail

including how you'd shoot yourself with the gun he did. It was obviously a very long barrelled shotgun. Who's this? Kirk Cabane. Oh, Kirk Cabane.

He also had an autopsy photo of, he also had autopsy photos of Tupac on his phone. This was at the time when phones could only store minimal photos and, at best, one video or song. And to top it off, he knew the full Zodiac Killer story, which happened a solid 25 years before we were born. Last week, I found out that he's one of the country's top psychiatric doctors.

And if I'm honest, I didn't see that coming. Genuinely expected to see him on the 6 o'clock news or involved in some kind of manhunt. Big credit to him. What a bloke. And not as an expert witness.

No, exactly. Definitely. He's done well there. He's turned that around. At least he obviously had an interest in the macabre. He's turned that into a career. What am I doing

with my interests? Exactly the same. Exactly. Just read them out. Just in a different way. Refuse to read books or learn anything. Yeah.

What about this from Jordan hello Luke and Pete following on from your recent chat about imaginary friends I thought I could contribute when I was young I invented my own world called Jordania

and I used to spend countless afternoons drawing maps of what this imaginary world looked like sounds like a budding J.R.R. Tolkien and could probably still

reproduce it today this time in my life coincided with me falling in love with football for the first time and I decided that my made-up world needed its own football league. I made up all the teams, all the players, and acted out every match in my back garden. I'd like to pretend I've forgotten all the team names, but I can probably still name about 50 of them. That's right, I made a second tier. Jeez. Some of them were rip-offs of real

places and teams. Jordania United, Jordania City, Lundy, Kevlovik and Stamford. Kevlovik's a place, isn't it?

Yeah, it's where you get the plane to Reykjavik, isn't it? Oh, yes. And some were relatively plausible team names like Clearwater Town,

Nimbus and Bannentown. So I was looking at the clouds when I read that one out. Some were utterly bizarre though Promotinos

oh that is not I presume they probably never got promoted always languishing in the second division Chickponnellwyn Chickponnellwyn and Relegate No

Relegate No they were always in the top bracket some were just completely incomprehensible sequences of letters. Undofk, Sflit, Stritvat and Karaliving.

But my favourite team is a team called Ulysses de la Cruz which I blatantly copied from the Aston Villa player of the time. It's a great name. I used to think this was a very odd childhood hobby but I made a friend in my late teens who it turned out did exactly the same thing when he was growing up so we promptly joined forces to hold a combined completely made up football competition love the

show good work jordan well a couple of my pals um used to do that but with subutio leagues they had their own team and they had like filofaxes oh nice it was the 90s uh with all the information of the teams and they named the players so i guess they took i don't know like a man united subutio team but they because it would just be red and white and they named the players so I guess they took I don't know like a Man United to Buteo team because it would just be red and white and they had the team name had their players and everything

and they kept tallies of goals and all that kind of stuff so I think it's probably more common than you think enjoyable did you do any of that sort of stuff Pete

when you were young I did Fantasy League by post oh yeah where I think they were all made up teams there and you would like buy and sell players

and they'd each have it was like really slow football manager where you'd make decisions on changing your team teams there and you would buy and sell players and they'd each have... It was like really slow football manager where you'd make decisions on changing your team and stuff and they would be fed into a computer back at home base and they'd work out how many points you'd got and they'd print back out... That's home base, not the shop home base. Maybe somebody did their work at home base, I don't know.

But yeah, I couldn't possibly... Because you didn't get into football until a bit later, right? No, yeah, 94 was my first World Cup. So you were what, 12, 13? Much later than anyone else, yeah. Okay, right. Much later than... So that was about that time when you started doing that?

Yeah, I started doing football. I just got really into it one summer, obviously, the World Cup, and realised that everyone had kind of left football behind. They found it quite junior. Right. And I just sort of fell in love with it rather late. And I remember going to play at there was like

the Brian Honner football club like a summer kind of do where every day you would go and play football for like five hours

under the name of Brian Honner the famous Hartlepool player like a play scheme kind of thing yeah play scheme I forgot about the word

play scheme that's wonderfully retro which is basically all we do at play scheme is table tennis and swimming yeah massively basically

and it was kind of tied in with Hartlepool United as well so the YTS lads had come down and have a kick around with you and stuff and I remember

one of the employees is that where you met Michael Brown first? no no never met him but one of the I remember one of the staff members of

Hartlepool United went how old's that lad and asked and then it came down to me, how old's that lad? And asked. And then it came down to me saying, how old's that lad? Because I was playing against people who were much younger than me by a good couple of years. And I went, I'm 14. And he went, OK, right, fine.

That was my sliding doors moment of becoming a footballer. Kind of the reverse of when a really good player gets spotted and they're playing with kids three or four years older than them. You were doing the opposite of that and just tearing it up everyone called me Beardsley because I had Beardsley written on the back of my shirt and so some people

in town still may know me as Beardsley could have been Facially could have been Facially as well all my opinions all your employment record all my employment record same club for the last 20 years

hello to Josh hello gents just emailing in about the troubling story of Rod Hull's on stage interactions so Rod Hull's on-stage interactions. Oh, so Rod Hull, we talked about on

Thursday and you talked about him essentially interfering with a child via EMU. EMU was the vehicle. Yeah. No, he just grabbed,

he went to grab his junk and said, ooh, EMU's found a worm. A little innocent joke from a more innocent time. How innocent is that

out of 10? It's a six. And 10 is the most innocent. Ten is the most innocent. One is the not. Yeah, okay. Either way, it's not.

It could be better. Either way, it could be better. Basically, it reminds me of a renowned tale in my family that due to its odd connotations has found itself being a strange

rite of passage tale told to us grandkids when we're all deemed adult enough to handle it. This is from Josh. It's not the opinions of a Luke Peacher. It must have been early in Mr Hull's career as my nan was a young lass at the time of visiting a variety show at Bridlington Spa in the budding days of the north-eastern seaside tourism.

Late in the show, a young Rod Hull and emu took to the stage and suddenly the emu locked eyes on my nan and with Rod in tow, lunged towards my Nan in the audience. At this point, my Nan, being frankly terrified by the peculiar situation, made a dart for the woman's room,

thinking this would be a safe haven from the Emu and children's entertainer in close pursuit. Now he's chasing an elderly woman. Yeah, but surely the Nan was a young lass at that time.

Oh, okay, right, okay. Okay. My Nan, being terrified by the peculiar situation ran to the ass's toilet um however this apparently did not phase hull uh as he chased close after her only to carry her back out over on his shoulder once back on stage the comedian proceeded with his routine as if nothing out of the ordinary had occurred i can't imagine how the ordeal translated to the annoying audience but i don don't imagine this would go down well right now in 2019.

How do you feel about that? I don't think it's as bad as my story from my friend. No, it's not. It's nowhere near as bad. I don't want to besmirch a dead man's name, but this story team too lucid, Pete, not to email in about, says Josh.

One thing that is worth mentioning is the circumstances surrounding Rod Hull's death because our international listeners won't know anything about this right do you know how he died

yeah he was what match was he watching during the second leg of the Champions League quarter final between Inter and Man United

in 1999 so the year that United obviously went on to win it he climbed up onto the roof of his bungalow in Windchelsea near Rye in East Sussex to adjust the aerial. Oh, what an analogue death. And he slipped off the roof and fell through a greenhouse

and sadly fractured his skull and had catastrophic chest injuries and was pronounced dead on arrival at hospital. The coroner in that case was called Alan Craze Alan Craze C-R-A-Z-E

nice I like that second name that's wonderful I don't know if that should be a coroner should it no one's a determinist in all that

can't do any damage alright well listen what about this and just finally one to squeeze in before we go from Tom who says

that's Alan Brazil popping the champagne says hi guys What about this? And just finally one to squeeze in before we go from Tom, who says, that's Alan Brazil popping the champagne. Says, hi guys. That's nice. Very good. Hearing the recent chat of dogs in school reminded me of my own experience with this. One morning,

not one, but two dogs burst into our main reception and started running around, generally going mad. This wasn't a very large area and it was already quite full from kids getting into school and going to their first lessons. To add to the chaos,

they then started to try and fight each other. And while some kids cheered them on, some tried to get out of the way and others simply didn't have any idea what was going on. I can imagine

one particular kid, like business minded kid, started running a book on it. Ringing up and having one of those calculators with a receipt on it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And a visor.

Yeah, visor, yeah. I'll give you two to one. I'll give you two to one I'll give you two to one on the German Shepherd two to one on the German Shepherd anyway a couple of teachers seriously do not get involved

in dog fighting a couple of teachers and the security guard managed to eventually get them outside and shut the doors all the students went to the front

of the reception which is basically a large glass wall to watch what we presume would be a continuation of the fight it wasn't dogs in a large glass wall, to watch what we presume would be a continuation of the fight. It wasn't. Dogs in school, large glass wall.

In the time it took to get them kicked out of the school, they'd obviously settled their differences and then proceeded to start shagging in front of all of us. Ha ha! Needless to say, we found all this very amusing and laughter-filled the reception area. The teachers, who I'm sure probably were trying their best not to laugh too,

then had to usher us all out and into our classes. Needless to say, again, a very eventful start to the day. Cheers, Tom. Tom says needless to say quite a lot, but that's fine. It's a good story. That's fantastic.

I just, you know, I think that taught the kids a curious lesson that love can build a bridge, and, you know, war ends, love begins. Between your heart and mine. Between your heart and mine. Don't you think it's time?

Don't you think it's time? My friend had a dog who always used to try and have sex with a skateboard. Oh, that's nice. Yeah. I mean, they will shag anything,

dogs, won't they? It's crazy. It's crazy what they get into. I would not want to put my penis near any grip tape. That's all I'm saying. That is literally sandpaper. Sandpaper.

Terrible choice. And obviously, given the age that we both are, when I say he tried to put my penis near any grip tape. That's all I'm saying. That is literally sandpaper. Sandpaper. Terrible choice. Obviously, given the age that we both are, when I say he kept trying to have sex with a skateboard, you know what skateboard I'm talking about here. Like a big, chunky cheese board. Yeah, with the buffers on the bottom of it. Yes. The pointy end.

I forgot about the buffers. I used to have a Ninja Turtles one that when I got of age, I thought, that's too childish. I'm going to paint it a weird weird silver color that my dad had so silver paint and then i drew the red hot chili peppers um logo on it with a sharpie even though i didn't really know who the red chili pepper there you go and that's how you got to the office today they were so unworkable or skateboards just the wheels the trucks were dreadful on on them. They're nowhere near what you are used to seeing like Tony Hawk

or Rodney Mullen riding. They're like completely different. Oh, Rodney Mullen. Yeah, what a legend. What a legend. I was at Stag do over the weekend and we went to a bar

that had arcade games and lots of consoles and stuff. I destroyed my partner at, my skateboarding partner at Tony Hawk's. I absolutely destroyed poor Ben. Did you? Yeah. Tony Hawk's. I absolutely destroyed poor Ben.

Did you? Yeah. Tony Hawk Pro Skater 2 or the original? It was the original on PlayStation. It actually made the real world seem a bit too real for a little while because the frame rate on Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 1 in split screen, dreadful. Absolutely dreadful.

I saw a video of a guy this week at some sort of convention playing, it looks like a Resident Evil kind of game, but the arcade version. Right. And he's playing both sides with two guns. Nice.

Absolutely killing it. Classic. Gunslinger. My favourite shooter. What's better than doing that? Well, there's a game called... Have a girlfriend? I think it's called Elevator Death Machine or something where it's like

an elevator and every like few seconds the elevator doors will open but the elevator doors it's a Japanese arcade machine

and the elevator doors are like actually physical elevator doors in front of the screen that sounds great it's really exciting yeah and what normally

is behind the doors can be anything well yeah I just I want to know what happens when the doors I want to get rid of the doors

to see what happens to the computer behind it of course you do of course I do you want to have a look on the inside to see how the magic happens

see how the magic happens one of my favourite YouTubers it's called Boundary Break where they take modern video games and then

they freeze it in time and then float around the map and see what things the designers have hidden behind walls and stuff like that

there's always something there's always something and you find sort of really iconic scenes like the actors coming into frame like they'll just be hiding behind the door for ages and

they'll just be stood in like a reference pose like that and it's like it really breaks all of the magic. That's weird. Yeah.

My favourite YouTube subscribe is Test Pilot Monkey he's got 150 subscribers and he spends all his time playing through BBC micro games. Oh that's nice.

I watched the entirety of him walking through Citadel over the weekend. Which one's Citadel? About 40 minutes of

my time that was. But I shall definitely be going back in for Repton, Frack and probably Daredevil Dennis as well. Oh it's like a

Doomlight game is it or are you talking like a Doom-like game, is it? Or are you talking like a side-on sort of thing, Citadel? Yeah. It's a platform game. A very rudimentary platform game. It was a ZX Spectrum that was a bit like a Doom game, basically. I had a BBC Micro because my dad, I think, got it from his brother who was a teacher at a local school.

That's not me. That's not me. Spare one. Spare one. I like a guy on... Finally for now, my final YouTuber is a bloke called... Let's have a spare one. It's a spare one. I like a guy on... Finally for now, my final YouTuber is a bloke called... Let's have a look here. He's bald and bankrupt

and he just basically goes around Eastern Europe and India just being rather friendly. He's a bit of a... He's all right. He's a bit much sometimes as YouTubers sometimes are. But he just goes around places like Belarus

and parts of Russia just sort of talking to locals and just hanging out with them and having a drink. But one of the things I noticed in one of the ex-Soviet kind of graveyards is that a lot of the fancier gravestones have like a little kind of like a partition

where you can, and a chair and a desk where you can sort of sit and have a little drink on the person's birthday and toast them. That's nice. That's really nice. Why don't we have that here? Like a little chair you sit down and like have a little drink. I want a Viking sea burial. That's what I want.

Can I do the... Is Viking sea burial where you have the flame? Yeah. If you learn how to do that properly, yes, you can do it. I'll just find some way of cheating. If you can fire it through your tears

streaming out of your eyes. My hands are so slippy because of the tears. All right, let's get out of here, Pete, on that sombre note. We're back on Thursday, of course, which I guess will be the 18th of April, Thursday. Look forward to that.

I look forward to me being three days older. Have a lovely week. Get in touch. Hello at LukeandPetra.com. We'd love to hear from you. Keep checking at LukeandPetra on Twitter for all your battery chat. A couple of new players entered the game, by the way. Okay, any off the top of your head?

I can't remember. You usually have such a good memory. I'll find you out for Thursday. Cheers, guys. This was a Radio Stakhanov production. On each step with Peloton, from their pop runs to walk and talks, you define what it means to be a runner.

Whatever your level, embrace it. Journey starts when you say so. If you've got five minutes or 50, Peloton Tread has workouts you can work in or bring your classes with you for outdoor runs, walks, and hikes led by expert instructors on the Peloton app. Call yourself a runner. Peloton all-access membership separate. Learn more at onepeloton.ca slash running.