The Luke and Pete Show - Episode 16: Dougie the Dolphin

Episode Date: September 17, 2017

A dog has become friends with a dolphin in Ireland and it's a big hit with Pete. While all that's been going on, Luke's fitted a new car stereo (which is only marginally more interesting than it sounds) and there's more fierce debate about the calorie content of Guinness.And if all that wasn't enough, someone does something unspeakable with a big spoon and some chocolate pudding. And for once, it wasn't Pete.To send us chocolate pudding, or Guinness: [e-mail] Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What a creep. Don't put this in. Don't put this in. They don't know who we're talking about. How are you doing? It's the Luke and Pete Show. I'm Luke Moore and I'm joined by... I'm Fraser Crane. You wish you were Fraser Crane.

I even said Fraser Crane. That's how much I want to be in. I have never really watched much Fraser. Me either. It just never grabbed me, to be honest. I'm trying to think what I did used to watch back then. A lot of friends. Did you?

I never really used to watch that much. Ah, decent. Anyway. Such a joy, I think to say. How are you doing? You all right? We're back. It's Luke and Pete 16.

All right, thanks. Sweet 16. We can now kiss boys and girls. When we will. When we will. And we will. Yes, and we will. Check it out on Instagram.

Sorry? Check it out on Instagram. Check what out on Instagram? Me and you kissing each other. Oh, yeah, yeah. We'll stick that on there. Yeah, might as well. Lots of stuff up there.

Plenty to choose from. Have we got Instagram? Yes. What? I know. I know. That's the sort of thing I expect you to say we've got a twitter as well

have you seen the twitter I've seen the twitter yeah I get involved every now and again at Luke and Pete show same on Instagram as well at Luke and Pete show is basically just people asking for that horrible

fox picture yes that you spoke about so I should probably address that actually well remembered about five just while Pete has a little sniff

because he's got a cold you put your own mic down so you don't have to sniff. Put the mic down. Cold's been going on for ages. Yeah, for those who are new to the show, in about episode 12 or 13, I forget which one,

I'm sure you'll go back and listen if you've got anything about you. I told a story about a fox and I got in trouble with some animal lovers and I'm an animal lover myself and I wasn't glorifying in the death of a fox. No. I was just explaining that it happened. But reaction i received was um a combination between people

saying that's disgusting and can i see the picture and i couldn't think of a way or find a way to put it up online without offending people so i didn't what i said it i sent a direct message to a few people right i'm not doing that because that's something i'm gonna end in tears sliding into your dms with fox heads i know right, I probably got about 100 message requests. So I'm just going to put it out there. You have to trust me on this one, okay, guys?

It happened. It was a clean strike. You've seen it, haven't you, Pete? I've seen it. It was a clean strike. It was separated. Filleted, you might say. Surgically filleted.

I'm an animal lover in general. I love foxes as well. I think they're a very successful and very admirable species. What? So I don't take any glory in it or any pleasure in it. I'm just telling it as it happens.

Sometimes, Pete, let me finish. Sometimes the world can be a twisted place, guys. It's not all rainbows and unicorns out there. It wasn't twisted. It didn't even twist.

It just straight off straight off of the neck. I mean, just clean. Just clean. It was clean. You know, what I would say is that, I mean, we talk a lot about

genuine nuclear war and murder and torture. Yeah, no one cares about that. But the death of a fox is just too much. I think when we're talking I mean, we talk a lot about genuine nuclear war and murder and torture. Yeah, no one cares about that. But the death of a fox is just too much. I think when we're talking about torture, people just turn off. That's why we don't get any comments about that. See you next week. See you next week.

Oh, they're onto torture. Oh, they skip. What's Pod Save America doing? They're probably doing torture as well, given what's happening over there. I know, yeah. Good podcast, that. Yeah, it's all right. And they do their, I like their ads they do.

Yeah. And they do them very naturally. Yeah. And, well, they just slag off the copywriting, yeah. Good podcast, that. Yeah, it's alright. And they do their, I like their ads they do. Yeah. And they do them very naturally. Yeah. Well, they just slag off the copywriting basically, which I quite like. We should do a lot more

than that. We haven't got any sponsors. Let's invent some. Razors and mattresses, that's the main podcast meat and potatoes, isn't it? You did leave, you know a few weeks ago

when you left and I sang a song and you put it on the show and then you came back in and everything. Well, today you left and I and I sang a song and you put it on the show and then you came back in and everything and well today you left and I didn't sing a song and you brought back

in a pot of red wine so I'm wondering whether I should not sing. I went to the offy. Yeah. Good for you. Why not eh? Good for you.

I've got a Camino de Angel. I don't think that's how it's pronounced. I went to a, I basically got it given by a lady because I helped her walk her to a car

that was up near the Venezuelan embassy. Okay, yeah. A troubled country. I presume the embassy's tip top. I think it's probably my duty to dig further here. Because I think when people think about you, you sort of hobnobbing after dark around the Venezuelan embassy.

It's fairly close to what they'd expect. Well, the woman in question basically says that, because she always parks her dark around the Venezuelan embassy. It's fairly close to what they'd expect. Well, the woman in question basically says that, because she always parks her car outside the Venezuelan embassy. I can't really reveal who it is. It isn't really Matt. Working in central London, driving your car, Matt. I know, yeah. It's a lovely car as well.

Again, I won't get into it, but I did get into it because she drove me back to where I live. But she says she always sees packages going in and out of the Venezuelan embassy. And I'm like, yeah, it's the Venezuelan embassy. Well,

any building company would have packages. I get delivered packages all the time and I live at home. The Luke Mill embassy. I see my wife internet shopping,

but it still can't. Have you seen, have you ever walked past the North Korean embassy? Where is it? It's, I think it's in Chiswick sort of way.

No. It's sort of just this two up, two down, kind of semi-detached house. So weird. I'm not surprised to hear that, because I used to live about five doors down from the Cambodian embassy. Amazing.

Which is in, I think it's Cambodian, anyway, and it's in Cricklewood, in between Wilsdon Green and Bromsbury Park. I used to, walking drunkenly home from a friend's house in Highgate, always used to roll my ankle on the cobbled street outside the Garnier and High Commission in Highgate. Every single time.

Get in touch with your embassy stories, guys. Have you ever harmed yourself outside an embassy? Not for any political reason. Not like, you know, jamming a knife into yourself, going, have a bit of that. What, not like a a not a Falun Gong kind of situation not a self-immolation

or anything I'm not having that not Julian Assange not Assange he keeps on getting he's turned into like a pretty robust baddie

hasn't he he's turned into I mean you know if the cap fits he's been a real shit at the moment very pro-Trump

very weird B I was going to say ask you a quick question re-embassies. Yeah. If you and I walked into, let's say, the Saudi Arabian embassy,

Right. and I killed you in there, which is technically Saudi Arabian territory, Yes. would I be eligible for the death penalty?

I think you would. Hello at LukeandPete.com If you want that to happen. Might do a Twitter poll. Yeah. It's worth thinking about. I mean, if you just walk into the reception, are you on soil?

There must be like a line, surely. I think as soon as you're on their territory, their, I guess, owned land, it counts as their territory. Do the cleaners need passports to clean? The admin is unreal to work there. Do you know what? The worst thing would be if you're a cleaner

who got the contract for all the embassies. The paperwork. You need visas. You need like a visa waiver for everything. Are you doing this week? Saudi Arabia, Turkey. Somebody got in touch saying that me applying for an Iranian visa.

I didn't mention the fact that when I applied for an Iranian visa... I didn't mention the fact that when I applied for an Iranian visa, I, about three days later, got an email from a travel company based in Iran. Right. So I don't think the Iranians... Sharing deets. I don't think they're really that hot on the old... What do you call it when you shouldn't share information?

Information... Data Protection Act. Data Protection Act. Yeah. So we're sharing... I don't think they're up on that. Sharing information is always going on. The worst people I find...

Yeah, but what are they going to get out with? 50 quid's worth of bloody business. By the way, Pete, this is a hot topic. This is a hot topic. Get in touch, listeners. If you've been messed over by the Iranians... The worst offenders for email spam. Right.

Straight away. O2. Straight away. Really? O2. Terrible for it. You know what, though? The Apple iPhone makes it very easy to unsubscribe. I did. I spent, O2. Straight away. Really? O2, terrible for it. You know what, though? The Apple iPhone makes it very easy to unsubscribe.

I did. I spent two weeks. Every time I got a spam email, I unsubscribed. It's a breath of fresh air. It really is. I've done that as well. The problem with O2 is you get your bill for email and you don't want to unsubscribe from your bill.

Well, they're not going to allow you to do that. That's a completely different list, so don't worry about it. Another bad offender, Sainsbury's. Right, again, never order from S list so don't worry about it. Another bad offender, Sainsbury's. Right, again, never order from Sainsbury's. What about the Nectar card offers though?

You know what I mean? You've got to think about it. It's a rough and a smooth. If you're interested in it, Amazon, they will send you emails for stuff you've already just bought.

I don't need another 47 inch flat screen telly. I've got one. Yeah, because when we I've limited space. When we did the Ramble book, I got an email from Amazon going, oh, you might want to buy the Ramble book. I was like, they're advertising for... I've limited space. When we did the Ramble book, I got an email from Amazon going,

oh, you might want to buy the Ramble book. I was like, they're advertising for us. It was because I basically looked for the Ramble book on Amazon. Yeah. And then you would just get in touch. Get in touch with your worst offenders. You know, why not?

Do you remember the Young Offenders, the band? No. They were really good. Get laid with the Young Offenders. I think it went like that. Sounds like a sort of band you'd be in, Pete, don't you think? Maybe. Shall we do our It's Beans?

Let's do our It's Beans. It's Beans. It's been. It's. It's been. One week since last week. I did one on air, like a little, because I was playing the Bairdic ladies, It's Been.

Yeah. I did a brilliant impression. Not as good as the ones I did. You've got to do more stories like that. It's been. It's been. That's poor. Better than it used to ones I told you in the past. Any more stories like that? It's Ben! It's Ben! That's poor. Better than it used to.

When you're at the top of your game, when you're at the very, very peak of your powers of that impression, I didn't know the difference between them. Yeah.

I closed my eyes. I'll tell you what, when I was in LA back in, oh, years ago. When I was back in LA with Iggy,

Iggy and Dave. And I had to get a hundred brown M&Ms or he would go on stage. I was in LA with Iggy Iggy and Dave and I had to get 100 brown M&M's or he would go on stage I was in LA and I stayed in this hostel and you had to stay obviously in a dorm room with a lot of other people

and there was a guy there I forget his name actually he might have been called Gavin there was a guy there called Gavin Gavin in a hostel I never want to meet that man

but listen to this right he's Gavin in a hostel he lived in LA he's got a knife he's British he lived in LA oh he almost certainly had a knife and you'll know why when I tell lived in LA. Oh, he almost certainly had a knife,

and you'll know why when I tell you the story. He basically used to do odd jobs around LA, so like little bits and pieces to survive. Yeah. But his stated aim in life was he wanted to be able to do the best Slash impression of any guitarist in the world. So the point, his ambition, stated ambition,

and he told me this within about 10 minutes of meeting him. Right. That if you went into a room and Slash was there on the guitar on a set-up and he was there on the guitar on a set-up and you had a blindfold on,

you wouldn't be able to tell the difference between it. Right. That was like a stick. And I remember at the time thinking, that is cool, but it's not going to get you anywhere. No, unless it's a, you know,

it's a Guns N' Roses tribute act. Well, yeah, quite. He probably is in the Guns N' Roses tribute act. Well, yeah, quite. He probably is in the Guns N' Roses tribute act now. But what I would say is also, like, has he got his amp

with him in the hostel? He had a set up and everything, yeah. Well, hang on, so he had all of his, he had a pedal board, he had his amp in a hostel?

At the bottom of the bed, yeah, and a guitar. Sunburst Gibson Les Paul. Right, he's a nightmare. He's a fucking nightmare, then. Have you listened to Gabby? Do get in touch because it's been 15 years

since I've ever met the guy I think I bumped into him randomly in like a pub as well at one point but um I once so your impression of the Baird Lady

at its peak was Gavin-esque was Gavin-esque yeah not anymore though incredible that's the only time I um went

and watched a Nirvana tribute act followed by that was followed by a Foo Fighters tribute act. Oh, and the same guy, Dave Grohl? Yeah. You did tell me that, that's great. Was he as good a drummer and singer as he should have been? I mean, he was pretty average at both jobs, to be fair.

He had a goatee beard. Way later than a goatee beard was really necessary. He should have, what he should have done is changed his look between eras. That's what he should have done is changed his look between eras. That's what he should have done. Yeah.

Put a stick on beard on. So when he's playing in Nirvana, very much long hair, bare chested, looking quite smiling,

cool shaven. Quite goobery. Yeah, and then when he gets into Foo Fighters, change your look. Change your look, mate, change it up.

Anyway, it's been, do you want to go first? It's been, I'll go first. Tom, 28 and four quarters, this chap.

Four quarters? That's 29, isn't it? Hang on, no,, 28 and four quarters, this chap. Four quarters? That's 29, isn't it? Hang on. No, one quarter. It's not four quarters. One quarters. I'm 28 and four quarters. I've been watching a little documentary that he sent in

about a dog and dolphin becoming friends. I've seen this. Adorable. I've seen this. It's very, very cute. Basically, listen to Tom came up with this. When he was younger, he travelled to Torrey Island, which sounds like someone trying to describe Jersey,

in my experience. Ireland's remotest island, a few miles off the coast of Donegal. Yeah. Is the dog a golden retriever? I think it might be. Yeah, I've seen it. Carry on.

Unlike the North Sentinel Island that we spoke about in a previous show, it doesn't have murderous locals. It does, however, unlike St Kilda, still have locals. Okay. This includes Pats, unlike St Kilda, still have locals. This includes Patsy Dan Rogers, the King of Tory Island, which I really like. Patsy Dan,

as far as my research goes, that's Tom's research, is the only democratically elected king out there and has no particular duties other than welcoming visitors off the island's one ferry a day, which he does while seamlessly drifting between Gaelic and English and painting either inside or outside the island's one ferry a day, which he does while seamlessly drifting between Gaelic and English and painting either inside or outside the island's pub.

What a life. Sounds like a life, that. He's the king. He's the king. His house is at the top of the island. There's large iron gates outside that says Tec An Rí, which is House of the King, apparently. And my brother proposed to one of his daughters

to see if he could become prince. And that's where that sentence ends. He doesn't say whether it was successful. Well, what happened, Tom? I know! What happened? The only other remarkable thing is that I once saw a dog and a dolphin

that had developed a friendship that nobody believed me about until there was a video on Countryfile or similar, and he's appended a video clip of this. That's where I saw the video, I think. Incredible! The surprising thing about an island so small is that it's got four towns, and they're not

very imaginatively named. There's East Town, then there's West Town, and in between those is Middle Town, and then, of course, the most... Hi, mate. Sorry, welcome. Prick from Country File going, oh, let's slag off the names of the towns. I'm heading down to the harbour in Middle Town, which is also home to the island's

only shop and art gallery. There's also a school park. Doubling up. A secondary school with 15 students and seven teachers and a chapel. But it's the activity in the harbour itself which has captured my attention. You just call out my name. Name. And you know wherever I am.

So we're basically watching a dog run down a jetty and swim into a harbour. A golden retriever is in the harbour and he's swimming around. And a dolphin has disappeared! Doogie the Dolphin, no less. Doogie the Dolphin. That's what it's called. Amazing. This is Corey's resident dolphin.

Doogie the Dolphin, they call him. He comes and plays with the hotel's Labrador, swimming around in the water. I've never seen anything like it. So the Labrador, every day, just goes into the harbour and swims around with Do. I've never seen anything like it. So the Labrador every day just goes into the harbour and swims around with Doogie the dolphin. I liked it. It's so beautiful. It's idyllic.

It's idyllic. It's fantastic. One day that dolphin's going to eat that dog. I like it. And everyone's going to be horrified. I don't think they eat dogs. I think that it's cool that two apparently very intelligent animals are hanging out together.

If anything, it proves the theory that dolphins and golden retrievers are intelligent. Yeah, and you know, you don't get many films about cats, do you? But you do get many films about dolphins. Oh, cats are never on the internet, are they? Not many films, though. Never a cat film. Not Haunted Hot Trim Tin Roof. Secret Life of Pets.

That involves them. The West End musical cats Alright fair dude By the way On that subject Don't use a cucumber To scare your cat It's really bad for them

Oh yeah It's really bad Love that No it's bad It's terrible I don't necessarily like cats that much I don't really care I can't

Well you should care about All god's creatures I'm the one who gets pelters For hating animals But it's you Who genuinely does hate them I would happily chop a cat's head off With a train.

You can't say that. You know what, you really can't though. I occasionally do a professional radio show, or try to do one. You do a radio show. I'm allowed on air briefly every day. But yeah, that's the one thing that you really can't touch on. You can't be rude

about pets because people really do love pets. You shouldn't be doing that anyway. You should not be doing that. I know, I know. If you're doing that, your show's too long. That's nice, Pete, the Tory Island. It looks a lot better than it sounds. Thank you, Tom.

By the way, one thing about Patsy Dan Rogers, the king of Tory Island. Patsy Dan Rogers. If all you've got to do to be king on that island is get pissed and paint some paintings, you and I could do that. Well, apart from the painting.

You're quite a good artist. Yeah, I could draw a little cartoon. You're a better boozer than me as well, so you'd probably be better for the job. Are you saying that

I'm the new king of Tory Island? You are in my heart. My It's Been this week is, can I get a jingle as well? It's been! There you go.

Sorry, I was just sorting my cable out on my mic. Is that I actually... Those people who know me will know this is unbelievable. I managed to fit a new car stereo on my own. Well, with my dad. Me and my dad. Well, there we go.

That just suddenly got weird. No, but even Mr. Moore would admit I did most of it. So I bought a new car stereo because I've got a car which... I just needed a car quite because I've got a car which I just needed the car quite quickly give me a car can't really tell you can't really tell you why

as a result I need room for seven son of shotguns yeah park outside the bank and I yeah I don't want to go into why

but I needed the car quite quickly and as a result it just had a really bog standard stereo in it right doesn't play any it's got no sort of

tracks no it's got no sort of, It's got no tracks. No, it's got no sort of like iPod like capability. Right. No Bluetooth. No digital radio or anything like that. Yeah. So I can't listen to Pete Donaldson. I know, yeah.

Outside of London. So I bought a new one. So I bought online, found one, thought that's good, bought it. And I thought what I'll do is I'll get a car garage to fit it for me.

Yeah. Okay. And then after a while I thought, you know what? No. I'm not paying someone else to do it. I'm not having that a car garage to fit it for me. Yeah. And then after a while, I thought, you know what? No. I'm not paying someone else to do it. I'm not having that. I'm going to do it myself.

Yeah. And so I went down to visit my parents for a week. I said, Dad, look, will you help me with this car stereo? And he said, yes. The upshot of it is, I managed to fit it and it works. It's truly, it's just, I mean, it's just a generic plug. No, it's quite a lot more involved than that. There's a lot of cables involved.

Well, there was with this one anyway. And by the way, getting the old stereo out was the hardest bit. I had to drive down to Halfords, right, ask the guy about what keys to use to take the old stereo out. It took ages. That was the hardest part of it. Like an Allen key or something. You just needed a particular screwdriver.

Four very specific car brand, well, car brand specific keys. That's how you get them in it? That's how they get you? Yeah, anyway, so, did all that. But the funny thing about it is, it's a Kenwood stereo, and it is exactly like one of those sort of classless people who like to modify cars with flashing lights

and stuff. So, I didn't know this, so me and the wife go down to wherever in the car, start the new stereo up, and it's just got this mad purple, green, yellow, blue flashing thing it's like a disco in my car every time i use it absolutely outrageous so i am pleased i managed to do it but at the same time it's not really living up to expectations sadly but that's what

i've been doing is there like a generic sort of um uh size for like stereos like the rectangle that you slide it into so you had to no so basically i had to buy a specific one for my brand and the year and then i think the way the car stereo companies do it is they send you separately in the same package um little fillers for the little bracket for yeah it's like i've got two bracket fillers nice around it yeah it's nice it's a sweet piece of work man do you know do you know i'd really like to see the george ezra whenever i want in the side now wrong with george, it's not. I'd really like to see a single five and a half inch floppy disk.

That'd be nice. You've done it again. It's five and a quarter. Five and a quarter. Yeah, that's your bread and butter, that, mate. You want to get that sorted away. Three and a half. Is anybody really going to care in 2017? About a five and a quarter floppy disk?

About a five and a quarter floppy disk. You know. Disk, disk, disk, disk. What would the late, great Steve Jobs say about that era? Your hero, your spiritual guide. Probably know. What would the late great Steve Jobs say about that era? Your hero, your spiritual guide. Probably nothing. Your spiritual guide.

He's known for making bad decisions. Oh, I've got cancer. I know. I'll just drink like special water instead of getting actual chemicals

pumped into my body. That was a blind spot from one of the world's most achieving men. Yeah. There you go. We've all got our faults. We've all got our faults.

Disappointing from him but you know, he paid the price. Anyway, right. Shall we get on to a little bit of email action? You're getting very punchy

as these shows go on. What do you mean? You talk about decapitating cats and you're having a pop at Steve Jobs. Well. An alternative treatment for cancer, which we don't want to get into. There's no alternative treatment

That's what I'm saying. Let's not get into it. for decapitated cats. No. We'll both look after Luke. We'll both look after Luke. If he feels sad with our mum and dad, we'll both look after Luke. We'll both look after Luke. If he feels sad about mum and dad, we'll both look after Luke. Emails! If he accidentally

beheads a fox, we'll both look after Luke. Because he'll be sad. It wasn't me. It wasn't me. It was the train. What brand of train was it? No, I was just telling you the favourite song I've got to listen to on my new car stereo. Don't talk about your new car stereo. It wasn't me. Do you reckon trains have stereos?

Do you ever listen to, do you ever listen to like a song, and a great example of this would be Shaggy featuring Ray Vaughan. Is it featuring Ray Vaughan? I thought you could have said

George Ezra's Budapest. No, Shaggy featuring someone. It wasn't me. If you watched a video for that song, I mean, the song wasn't out actually relatively speaking

that long ago. Yeah. But it looks like it's about 150 years old. Did you, there was a, who's the woman out of Destiny's Child that wasn't out actually relatively speaking that long ago yeah but it looks like it's about 150 years old did you uh there was a who's the woman out of destiny's child that wasn't beyonce the one who kelly rowland she did a song with nelly nelly or something and she has like one of those like old sidekick nokia phones yeah and she's typing a text into like an excel spreadsheet i saw that yes no wonder he didn't get it. It's bizarre. Wonderful.

I love those little idiosyncrasies. Yeah, that'll be fine. Some dickhead director. Yeah, that's fine. I was once at a house party and the guy was on one of the very, a nascent mobile phone, a very, very early stage mobile phone. I must have been about 18.

And he was really pleased with it. It was massive. And he's talking on it to people for no reason at a house party and I remember very very clearly at one point

he was outside and I think we were probably outside having a schmalk and he was on his phone and he said can you call me back my battery's flat

and the guy accepted that excuse and called him back because it was a time of pay as you go right right you could get away with lying at that point the understanding of the technology the guy accepted that excuse and called him back. Because it was a time of pay-as-you-go, right? Right.

So that was... Well, you could get away with sort of lying there at that point. Yeah, but the understanding of the technology was so poor that that wasn't even questioned. How far we've come. My first mobile phone's SIM card was the size of a credit card. Yeah. Do you remember those? I do, yeah.

I do remember that, yeah. Incredible, really. Really, really weird, yeah. But it had the same small kind of wee chip in it that you could probably cut down to there and use the same chip. That's right. And they get smaller and smaller. That's a. Really, really weird, yeah. But it had the same small kind of wee chip in it that you could probably cut down to there and use the same chip. That's right, and they get smaller and smaller, and that's a nano sim, isn't it? But it's very, very, very small. But the actual chip

itself is the same size. It's just the surrounding that's different. That's weird, so I wonder why that's such a big shell. Yeah, very, very strange. Just messing about. Messing about. Emails! This one comes from Andrew Moore. We were talking about booze a little earlier on, and Luke basically made it clear,

or basically commented about Guinness possibly being one of the worst alcohol drinks to have, calorific content-wise. And as an avid Guinness drinker and an Irish man, I thought I'd set yous right. By the way, that doesn't qualify you for this. Well, he's quoting somebody else. According to Dan Israeli, his real name,

his article in Men's Fitness, a serving of the stout beer boasts 126 calories, which is 19 less than a Budweiser and 24 less than a Heineken. 126 calories for a pint of something, a pint of alcoholic beer is not too bad, is it? There's no way that's true. Do you reckon?

A serving cannot be a pint then. Do you reckon it's like an American, one of those little three-quarter pint jobs that you drink and you go, come on. Andrew also says the Guinness also contains a shade under 10 carbs. That doesn't make any sense, right? Because that's not a measurement.

10 grams of carbs? It must mean that. And he also ends the email by saying, apologies for the grammar, I am quite drunk. So I think we can set that with a pinch of salt. It must mean that. And he also ends the email by saying, apologies for the grammar, I am quite drunk. So, I think we can set that with a pinch of salt. He says there's another article at HuffPost.com. He's cross-referencing. He says Guinness isn't higher in alcohol or

calories. The heavy taste does not translate to more alcohol. Anyone can contribute to Huffington Post. Does have a lot of fibre. 3.5 grams of fibre. I've read a Men's Health article here, which I've preceded for the purpose of this email, which says a pint of lager has 165 calories per pint on average. Guinness has 210 calories per pint.

And I quote, drink it because you like it, not because you've heard the old wives tell that it's a great source of iron. Is that... Ah, that's... Spoil everything that Andrew Moore said. Your name's sick. Andrew Moore, you are disgraced with the Moore name.

Although, apart from the fact that you were drunk when you read Senator Ian, which is very, very much in the keeping with the tradition. The annoying thing is I did do some Googling, and I'm fairly certain my findings were pretty much the same. That's annoying. What, was his? Yeah. Well, that says the only thing you need to know.

Yeah, I am a man who counts calories more than you without question. You reckon? I think so, yeah. Why do you look like that, then? Yeah. Well, that says everything you need to know. Yeah, I am a man who counts calories more than you without question. You reckon? I think so, yeah. Why do you look like that then? Exactly. That's exactly my point. Lulz. There we go.

Shall we have an email from the spectacularly named Winfield Cline? Winfield Cline sounds like the sort of ship that was spruced up in Hartlepool and sent down to where you live, Farnsworth. Like the warrior. It looks like an anagram for hisortsmouth. Like the warrior. It looks like an anagram for his actual name. Maybe it is. He's from Spokane in Washington, apparently.

Very good. Is that how you pronounce it? Spokane. I don't know. He says, Hello, Luke and Pete. I've been meaning to send you this story for quite some time

since the second or third show. I honestly don't even remember what you were talking about that made me want to share this, but perhaps you do. But that's the beauty of this show. It's esoteric. Do anything you want.

It says, anyway, I was at a Wendy's fast food restaurant, sort of like McDonald's. Do you have Wendy's? We used to have Wendy's. Do we used to have Wendy's? Yeah,

I think we did used to have Wendy's. Was it like, what was that other one that used to have Popeye's? No. What was the fast food place we had when you had real plates and real nice and soft?

Oh, well, Wimpy. Wimpy. I think you still get those. Yeah. Wendy's apparently left the UK in 2000, although there are rumours they're coming back. What they'll be known for, for those of you who've eaten at Wendy's, is they have square burgers. Which is their thing.

They're big in the US. Anyway, he says, I was sitting and eating my hamburger facing the salad bar. A full-grown man got to the end of the salad bar with a dessert, sir. I watched as he spooned a huge glob of chocolate pudding into his bowl, licked the spoon, and then put it back into the salad bowl. Nobody seemed to notice this but me. I mean, that's disgusting.

That is disgusting. That's like that lad who was, you know, getting free beer, getting a free buzz on at Alexander Palace last week. Yeah. I went to the counter and told the guy at the cash register what I'd seen. She thanked me and said she'd take care of it. Back at my table finishing my burger, I saw her come out to the counter and told the guy at the cash register what I'd seen. She thanked me and said she'd take care of it. Back at my table finishing my burger, I saw her come out to the salad bar, take the licked spoon out of the pudding and replace it with a new one.

Problem solved. I kind of agree with that. It's not a problem solved, is it? Well, the chocolate, what was it? Chocolate sauce? Chocolate pudding? Yeah. I mean, it's so dense. I can't imagine there's that much kind of like the atoms and the, aren't really sort of wibbling around

yeah but i think the point is peter this guy who presumably is a bit of a big unit might go back and do it again he needs to be told let's agree that let's agree he needs to be told oh i thought you meant that he would they would have to replace the whole ball of custard chocolate custard that's no way to run a business no but if he licks no no you don't have to do that because if the lick comes after the dip so he doesn't need to do that because the lick comes after the dip. So he doesn't need to replace that. What they do need to do is go up to the patron

and say, excuse me, sir, that's not acceptable behaviour in this restaurant. We won't have you doing it again. I've replaced the spoon. If you go anywhere near it with your mouth again,

you will no longer be welcome in this establishment, thank you very much. If you listen to his email and you read it correctly, it says he licked the spoon and put it back into the vat of pudding in the salad bar. Oh, shit.

Yeah, okay. In which case, yeah, that's not going to solve any problems. They do need to change the pudding then. He's not going to go back for more. I mean, who needs... That's too much. The thing is, if you're going to chuck it away anyway, just give it to him.

Just give it to him, yeah. Give it to Licky McSpoon-alson. Take it home to Licky McLickface. What a disgusting little man. It's reminded me last week, I forgot to mention, when I was in Atlanta, I had the best tacos I've ever had.

Uh, yeah. I don't know why I'm trying to cross-reference your... You've been to Atlanta. I've been to Atlanta. I loved Atlanta. It's good here. Did you go to that bar that I recommended that's like a spooky kind of church bar,

like a voodoo church bar? I didn't, but I did go to El Taco, which is amazing. I would recommend it very, very highly. I know a nice one in Chicago. They do really, this beautiful kind of, and some days,

they do like burritos, and it's like a dollar per burrito. That's the thing, isn't it? Yeah. Food is so cheap out there. These tacos, right? They were two of the best, most delicious tacos I've ever eaten,

with steak in one and king prawn in the other. And as many corn tortilla chips as you wanted, and were two of the best, most delicious tacos I've ever eaten, with steak in one and king prawn in the other. And as many corn tortilla chips as you wanted, and a load of queso for $11. It's incredible, isn't it? Yeah. Incredible. It's really hard to spend a lot of money on food in America. It's really hard to not be fat. Right, shall we do some Mankata?

I think so. Let there be justice for all. Let there be justice for all Let there be peace for all It's one small step for man You don't understand Willie was a salesman Say simply Very simply With hope

Good morning I don't know who plays that jazzy little number In the middle of that particular jingle Bill Clinton It. Bill Clinton. It's Bill Clinton on the sax. It's definitely a trumpet, isn't it? You know when... Just dicking about, messing up the jingle with...

Unwelcome. Do you remember that Electric Six band? Yes. They did Danger High Voltage. They also wrote a song about Harley Pull. Did they really? And they called it... They were going to call it Monkey Hangers,

but they didn't think it would fly in America, and they called it oh they were going to call it monkey hangers but they didn't think it would fly in america so they called it something else well the the song high danger high voltage they started a rumor that jack white was the singing the female voice on it which he actually told that he was yeah he was definitely sounds like it is him it was him uh but then when that came out as being true they also said that the saxo that was played by bill clinton and uh i don't think that's true. A very underrated outfit. Well, I didn't really know two of their songs.

I enjoyed them both. I know... Unnatural Beauty? Three of them. Unnatural Beauty, I think it is. Well, Gay Bar was them, wasn't it? Yeah, Unnatural Beauty, I think, is the song about Hartlepool. And it's just basically about how it's a seaside town

that they should have shut down like the Morrissey song went. So there we go. Evan. Hello, Evan. He reckons that the last meal of Lawrence Russell Brewer belongs in the men's cyclopedia that we are compiling. So we did a little bit on... Yeah, we did a bit on last meals a few weeks ago.

Yes, exactly. So men's cart, what we do is every week we come up with or find or you guys nominate something that belongs in an online encyclopedia that we are compiling. Men Carter! It's a loose concept. It's a loose concept. I mean, most of this show is a loose concept. Started with the name and went backwards.

Started with the kids. Evan says, hello, gents. I was delighted to hear last meals discussed on the latest pods as I'm really into serial killers and such macabre stuff. So I thought I could offer some factoids on last meals. The last meal, Victor Figuere. Can we just, yeah, I mean, I'm really into serial killers. I mean, is that acceptable?

I think I mentioned a few months ago I went to the Murder Museum in New Orleans and the guest book, oh, oh, it was interesting. The guest book, one bloke wrote, you will hear my name, David Smith. And I wrote underneath, probably fine. Probably nothing to worry about. On the guest book once, at B&B, I stayed in.

And admittedly, they were writing in English as a foreign language. They meant to write, thank you very much for your hospitality. But they wrote, thank you very much for your hospitalisation. Oh, no! And they're right. Beautiful.

So the last meal of Victor Figuere. Oh, the guy who said, you will know my name. What was his name? It was like David Smith. A very common name. Innocuous, yeah. Innocuous.

Carry on. But basically, I think we mentioned a guy called Victor Figuere. Yeah, he had a single olive with a pit left in it. Yes. Do you know why that was, though? I don't, no. Well, he's about to tell us his good old heaven.

Yeah, we mentioned this a little later on. It's less inexplicable when you read up on the matter. He got very spiritual on death row, did Mr. Victor, and he wanted a fruit-bearing tree to grow from within his body when he died. So the olive with the pit left in it would have done that. Well, not if they cremated him. Well, yeah. I mean, I presume he was

assuming a burial. I guess he could insist on a burial, yeah. Okay, that's got an interesting detail, doesn't it? Yeah, it's not too bad, is it? So he says, I'm almost certain the acid in the stomach would render the pit a nurse, but it's a nice idea. Yeah, probably. There was a lover, there was a great, ah, God, what, uh, sure is it? Not murder, is it nurse, but it's a nice idea. Yeah, probably. There was a great... God, what... Is it...

Not murder, is it? I think it's a criminal. I think the podcast is called Criminal. And I think they might be doing the podcast festival, or they might have done the podcast festival in London. But anyway, it's a bit like This American Life, but it's all about crimes and murders and stuff like that. It's true crime.

And this woman visited a place where they basically get a load of donated corpses and they just put them in the wilderness. So it's a patch of grass. I think it's near Houston Airport. Not too close because they don't want eagles and stuff and vultures flying around near the flight path from Houston Airport.

But they've basically got a load of dead bodies in cages on the ground. Why? Well, because we don't know enough about how bodies decompose in the wild. So if you see, if you find like a murdered corpse, you don't necessarily know how long it's been. They do have studies and stuff. So it's for research purposes. It's for research purposes. And they do things like tie them up and put them in car boots and just put them in the ground, shallow graves,

just propped up against a tree and stuff. And people who have studied, like criminologists and stuff, they donate their bodies to this cause to further the science of found bodies and stuff like that. It's fascinating. But the one thing, the moisture and nutrient-rich mix of the body's fluids when they kind of just go to mush creates lots of flowers. So it's this incredibly fertile soil.

So often when, you know, a body's found in the middle of nowhere and it's just a skeleton or whatever and, you know, badgers and, you know, I don't know what kind of wildlife they have around there. No, it's mostly badgers. It's mostly badgers, covered in tea, may they are. So you'll occasionally just have, like, a dead body, but their arms will be, like, one arm will be over one side,

one arm will be over the other, because, you know, little creatures try to take it away. But the nutrient-rich juice and schloosy kind of nonsense that live inside us when our cells break down is incredibly good for the soil

so you'll often find flowers just growing out of bodies and stuff like that it's fascinating but that is very macabre it is very macabre

it's almost like very fascinating there's a drive for ex NFL players to agree to to donate their brains to medical science and stuff

because they can so they can understand the impact of concussions on the brain. From what I've heard, the governing bodies of football out there don't necessarily do as much as they might do. I think it's getting a bit better now, but generally speaking. Back in the day,

didn't a couple of Scottish doctors pioneer autopsies and stuff by literally robbing graves. Oh, yeah, well, I mean, that was, yeah. I mean... Birkenau hair? Birkenau hair, that sounds all right, yeah. Well, Evans' email carries on. It says, a last meal story I think you guys might like

is the one of Lawrence Russell Brewer, a murderer executed in Texas in 2011. His last meal request was, get this, two chicken fried steaks with gravy and sliced onion, a triple bacon double cheeseburger, a cheese omelette with spicy ground beef, tomatoes, onions, jalapenos, bell peppers, a bowl of fried okra with ketchup,

a pound of spicy barbecued meat with half a loaf of white bread, one pound of barbecued meat with half a loaf of fresh white bread, three fajitas, an extra large Me Loves Pizza, a slab of peanut butter, one pound of barbecued meat with half a loaf of fresh white bread, three fajitas, an extra large me loves pizza, a slab of peanut butter fudge with crushed peanuts, a pint of cookies and cream, blue belt ice cream and three root beers. I understand if you feel a mixture of hunger and disgust. Definitely

hunger, Evan. He says... Well, the thing is, Evan's also included a pound of spicy barbecued meat with half a loaf of white bread twice there. So, is that two pounds? Separate rounds of the food, I guess, I suppose. It was served to him.

It cost approximately $800 in total. Disgrace. And it consisted of well over 80,000 calories. And basically, he refused to eat a single bite.

He claimed he wasn't hungry and apparently, well, debates kind of rage against either he was nervous about death or whether it was just a fuck you to the governor of the prison. In any case, following that refusal, the state of Texas no longer allows special requests for last meals instead providing the traditional last meal

of steak, hash browns, etc. that Ted Bundy ate. Ruined it for everyone else. I know! I was thinking about... But I tell you what, I bet the jailers are bloody lovely. Yeah. My mate Tommy's a cameraman and he says, I think I've mentioned him a But I tell you what, I bet the jailers have a bloody lovely time. Oh, you haven't heard that? My mate Tommy's a cameraman and he says,

I think I've mentioned him a few times on the show, and I'm pretty sure he's told me in the past that the freelance cameraman pool, they all want to get on MasterChef and Bake Off and stuff like that because it's absolutely amazing

in terms of the perks you get. Yeah. On this Lawrence Russell Brewer last meal, I mean, I think I could... If I was particularly hungry, I think I could, if I was particularly hungry, I think I could probably do a decent proportion of that.

I could definitely do the two chicken steaks with gravy and onions. I could probably do the burger. I could do the fried okra because that would be easy. And I could probably do the fajitas. And after that, I'm struggling. I mean, if you ate a a lot you would just immediately vomit when your muscles tense when they electrocute you

how do you know he's been electrocuted well 2011 Texas probably injection mate do you reckon yeah I think so

I'm not sure but I think it probably would be to be honest I find it quite hard to get drunk when I've had a big meal yeah exactly take more drugs

we went through a phase with a few of my mates when we were younger of when we used to go out on the lash. On the lash. We were bloody lads. And we went through a phase, I don't know why,

of all going for a curry first. Did it about four times, and after that we were like, it's really impossible, it's impossible to get drunk. Oh, yeah. And you just feel sleepy. And there's so much bloating going on. But I think if you ate all that stuff, and I understand that Brewer himself didn't eat any of it,

you'd be asleep in the chair. Have you had... That's the thing. Oh, let's have a little snooze. Are you dead? No, he's woke up.

No, he's just in front of Country File. I like the... Is it the Tasty Box? Is it Tasty Box you get in...

Oh, Munchy Box. Munchy Box. Yeah, you should know that. You're Northern. That's from Middlesbrough, isn't it?

No, you're thinking of Palmer. Munchy Box is what? Kebab, meat, chicken wings, fries and other stuff in a pizza box. A little bit of everything. But it's in a pizza box, isn't it? That's. Munchie Box is what? Kebab meat, chicken wings, fries, and all that stuff in a pizza box. A little bit of everything. But it's in a pizza box, isn't it?

That's the point, yeah, okay. Oh, good stuff. It's full on. It's so good, Munchie. Somebody pointed out that in a previous Luke and Pete show, it sounded like someone blew off halfway through, and it was actually my stomach, wasn't it? I actually had to stop the recording at one point

because my stomach was rumbling so hard. Ambient noises that can be heard even in a professional recording studio are the chair moving around. Yeah. The chairs are older. Yeah. You can sometimes get feet squeaking on the floors. Yep.

Pete's stomach. Yeah. Because he hasn't had his 14th meal of the day. Me. To be fair, you're not really a big eater, are you? I'm not a big eater. My fighting weight, regrettably, is around about 10 and a bit stone, and I'm 11. Okay. So I just need to get back down to fighting weight, regrettably, is around about 10 and a bit stone, and I'm 11.

So I just need to get back down to fighting weight, Luke, because quite frankly, when a slightly skinny boy gets a bit of a belly, you look a bit like a frog. Yeah, okay, right. And what was your last meal again? Or you did tell me before. My last meal? You did tell me what it was.

Probably chicken, KFC spicy wings and Chinese Christian beef and lemon chicken. Yeah. Maybe a rib on the side. To signify Adam's creation of Eve. Yeah, exactly.

Then you're going back to meet your maker. And a single olive. I don't know. I find it very difficult to know what I would have. But I mean, it sounds like anyway

you can't really choose yours anymore now because you've got to do what the state of Texas tells you to do. I'll just have a big Ambrosia rice pudding. Shall I look up

what Lawrence Russell Brewer did? What do you mean? What he did as a murder? Yeah. Alright, what do you want me to do in the middle of this? Just chat while I'm looking at it.

Just chat. Luke's just on the internet. He's using a MacBook 2013 Air, I think. It is an Air, yeah. It has a Thunderbolt and also a micro SD. No, wait, just an SD

card slot. That's interesting. Yeah, he basically committed a racist murder. How racist can a murder be? It was racist. I'm not going to read it on this show. It was racist. The man who got murdered knew what he was about, let's say say take my word for it

did you see that policeman with the goddamn fatherland tattoo on his arm yeah he was wearing like he was wearing short-sleeved shirts if you've got a fatherland tattoo on your goddamn fucking wrist i know right where i don't care how hot a day it is people don't need to see that you big Nazi I think there was also a guy who a guy who was treated particularly badly

by the police fairly recently a black guy in the US and he turned out to be quite a high profile NFL player so I think that's going to be a lawsuit oh yeah

why are we talking about this I don't know come on let's get out of here I'm just depressed about the way of the world let's get out of here alright then let's get out of here you've got just depressed about the way of the world. Let's get out of here. Yeah. All right, then. Let's get out of here.

If you want to get in touch with the show, as always, it's hello at luteandpeachshow.com. We'll see you next week. you