The Luke and Pete Show - Episode 168: That pigeon will not hang

Episode Date: May 16, 2019

Thursday's child doesn't have that far to go guys because it's almost the weekend. Allow Luke and Pete to guide you there with chat about reservoirs full of bromide, a chance encounter with a gameshow stalwart, and news of Pete's new favourite sketch show.And if that isn't enough, there's celebrity crushes, a stunning piece of trivia about eider down and an impassioned retrospective of some of Jarvis Cocker's finest work, courtesy of young Peter. Wrapped up in all that are of course the best of this week's listener correspondence, and to get involved yourself it's [e-mail]!***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Own each step with Peloton. From their pop runs to walk and talks, you define what it means to be a runner. Whatever your level, embrace it. Journey starts when you say so. If you've got five minutes or 50, Peloton Tread has workouts you can work in. Or bring your classes with you for outdoor runs, walks, and hikes, led by expert instructors on the Peloton app. Call yourself a runner.

Peloton all-access membership separate. Learn more at onepeloton.ca slash running. I'll let the music go a little bit further. It's Thursday, shitheads. It's the Luke and Pete show, and we're ready to talk some grot, quite frankly. Here's one for you listeners. Peter, what episode are we on?

One, six, nine. No, you get it wrong. One, six, eight. Mate, that's amazing. I didn't know what number that was. I only got that because somebody mentioned in an email, one, six, four, and I was like, there's got to be like five away. That's brilliant. I didn't know what number that was. I only got that because somebody mentioned in an email 164. And I was like, it's got to be like five away.

That's brilliant from me. That's brilliant. You were in one. He's done so well there. You have to say that's magnificent. You have to say that's magnificent. Did you change our Twitter profile to say the podcast which never knows which episode it's on? No.

Did you do that? Someone did it. Why are these dark forces conspiring against me? They're absolutely dark forces. What was I going to say? I just got a weird text message through

into my laptop. Into your laptop? From a German. An unknown source. I said, what's plus four nine? Plus four nine. Yeah,

I would say somewhere in Europe. It was Germany. Yeah. Oh, it's from my mate Musa. That's all right. No worries. I wasn't somewhere in Europe it was Germany yeah it's my mate Moosa that's alright no worries I wasn't expecting it what was I going to

say to you then what's that Strasbourg I was going to say oh yeah so this is quite interesting I think I think

so mate came down last week from Scotland he is mate called Phil you know him I think you met him he's got a guest house up in Scotland.

Okay. Yeah. And if you are in the beautiful small town of Foyers near Inverness and near Loch Ness, you should go stay at his place. Anyway, he came down. He's got a cherry picker. It was great to see. He has got a cherry picker.

I'm obsessed with this cherry picker. He's a very practical man. Yeah. He was telling me that he found out why Ida down as in the Ida ducks down, Ida down, uh, is so expensive. Um,

do you know about this phenomenon? Oh, do they? Well, let me guess to get the feathers. They scare the animals. No. With a spook.

No. Spook the animal so hard that feathers fly out. No. So basically, um, the Ida ducks i think they're just called eiders um the the nest they build is like close to the sea and they line the nests with feathers plucked from the female eiders breast right um and so um what they have to do

is they have to wait for the eiders to leave the nest before they can go and get the feathers. And they have to be cultivated and harvested sort of like manually. Right, okay. So you can't just grab an eider duck and pluck it like they would for other stuff. And that's why eider down is a premium, premier form of down. If you take feathers out of an animal

does it regrow them because they lose their feathers don't they I'm going to say no I'm going to say I don't know actually it's a really good question I'd love to know that

that's the kind of question we should be asking on this show hello at lukeandpete show.com if you know the answer to that it's not something

I've sort of run into oh I've got a TV recommendation Luke go on it's a Netflix TV show. It's a comedic sketch show called I Think You Should Leave. It is the best sketch show I have seen since Tim and Eric. It is fucking amazing.

So is this what you were tweeting about last week? Little screenshots? I tweeted one screenshot, yeah. Oh, look how cool I am. I'm enjoying like really cutting edge comedy shows cutting edge it's literally on the

first page of Netflix who's in it a lot of SNL people but it's written by one of their writers and the writer in particular is just wonderful

there's a particular sketch with a Johnny Cash kind of character that is one of my favourites it's so it makes my heart sing

how funny was it? I was getting tears and you know when you guys sit in the Ramble and you do find jokes on the internet

and stuff mainly because I've probably seen them before I always feel a bit left out I genuinely feel like I'm wrong in the head

or something that I don't find it quite so funny you basically just don't find me funny which is very funny well no it's not that

but there'll be some things that I really laugh at. But I always sort of feel like, am I a bit wrong? And then I watch that and I go, ah. So you're basically, you're recommending it as a comedy show because it's made you realise

you're not quite as sociopathic as you thought you were. And you are able to feel emotions. Yeah, it's on the Netflix main page. And it's just, it's so good. What's it called? I Think You Should Leave. I Think You Should Leave with someone, I think his name's Matt Robinson. I can't remember his page, and it's just so good. What's it called? I think you should leave. I think you should leave with someone. I think his name's Matt Robinson.

I can't remember his name, but I think you should leave. It is wonderful. All right, I'll check it out. It came out of nowhere. Six episodes, 15 minutes each. It is astoundingly good. I'll check it out. Have you seen this thing that happened in Bocholt in Western Germany recently?

A speed limit was broken and caught on a speed camera um it was found something was found to be going um 12 kilometers an hour too fast right going i think 42 kilometers an hour oh no sorry. 45 kilometres an hour and a 30 kilometres an hour zone. Let me guess, ostrich? No. Lion. Yeah, it was a lion. It's a fucking lion. Yeah, no, it was a pigeon.

Oh, right. Flying too close to the camera. So technically speaking, it should be fined 25 euros. If you can find it, you can fine it. Yeah. But the guy reporting on it or the guy who was responsible for, I guess,

administering the fines, said, first of all, he said this, which is quite funny, the pigeon was on a collision course with vehicles

and pedestrians. I'm not sure that's true. And whether the fast bird can and will pay its 25 euros on the spot fine remains to be

seen. I'm going to say it doesn't remain to be seen. I'm going to say you're very unlikely to get a pigeon to lift its wing up, pull a little wallet and say here you go here's the money i was watching a little mini documentary about um uh a big california reservoir um and

bromide i think some basically some kind of um something in the water that's completely harmless until sunshine gets on it so when the people were selling this water to business they were sort of saying this bromide is really low it's like you know 9%

or 0.0 9% in the water so it's completely safe for making it and then when it actually got to the businesses who were making it for like like, I don't know,

bottled water or Coca-Cola or whatever, they were going, hey, there's bromide. It's like, really, bloody, hi, what's going on here? And I think it's bromide. Basically, the sun reacts to the chlorine in the water, which you need for antiseptic and, you know, cleaning the water purposes, and just changes the makeup,

the genetic makeup, so to speak, of the water. And it's just a real shit show. So what they had to do was basically cover. Imagine how big a reservoir is. They had to cover a reservoir to shade it from the sun so the sun wouldn't react with the chemicals in the water to make this harmful chemical. And they did it by just filling the,

because they thought about like big logs, big black plastic logs. They thought about plastic sheets and stuff, but then that would attract birds. And it's quite near an airport and you don't want bird shit in the water. So they used like something like 900 million rubber, like plastic balls. Put on the top. Put on the top. They just sort of bobbed about on the top. Did it work?

Yeah, massively worked. And so it stopped the sun from... It also reduces a small amount of evaporation as well. So you don't lose quite so much water. Where is it? It's in the middle of the desert in California or whatever. But it just really made me laugh because there's just... They've got these little boats that go out in the reservoir

and it's just like these balls are just everywhere. You can't see any water. It's just this kind of weird, massive ball. It's a really cool solution. Oh, it's brilliant. And balls are just everywhere. You can't see any water. It's just this kind of like weird, massive ball pool. It's a really cool solution. Oh, it's brilliant. And also because they didn't want... For what is potentially a very harmful solution. They didn't want to have the balls floating over to the...

Because obviously if a wind takes them, it'll take them onto the motorways and stuff and they don't want that. So they filled them a little bit with water. So it's actually quite hard going getting a boat through there, which I find exciting. Reservoirs are so cool. I find it interesting when you see a reservoir.

There's one I'm pretty sure of. Because we're taking a girl to the reservoir. What's that from? Pulp's Joyride. I'm not really a big expert in pulp. Some people say it's a tragedy, but don't you want to come and see? It's not a bad impression, I have to say.

You're venturing into David Burry territory quite regularly there. Because we're taking a girl to the reservoir. Am I the only one in this room that finds Jarvis Cocker a bit tiresome? I think these days he's a bit more tires that finds Jarvis Cocker a bit tiresome? I think these days he's a bit more tiresome but I love his music. Is it Cocker Fatigue? Is that why?

Cocker Fatigue. I love Pulp. They're my favourite band and I just think they're just wonderful. Yeah, absolutely. My Desert Island Disco is his and hers by Pulp.

There's no better album in the world. There's just no, it just doesn't, nothing comes close. Write us down for the synopsis. Please don't email us about that. Just email email us about that.

Just email Pete directly about that. His and hers. I'm not wading through pulp-related emails. When I've been for a nice ramble in the Connecticut countryside, sometimes you'll stumble across a reservoir. Yeah. And there are people sailing on it and stuff.

Yeah. And you kind of think, should you be doing that? Yeah, I don't really, because they sort of say it gets cleaned and then the water goes to the reservoir

and then, I don't think there's much more processing goes on before it gets to the, to the Tammany. But it's the idea that, it's the idea that there's so much water present

that it's impossible really to, it's impossible to, to sort of damage it in any meaningful way. They must be cleaning after that surely. You'd hope so. They're bushing it in

it, all that stuff. Because the reason I say that is because there is a reservoir, it's a beautiful part of the world by the way. There's a run I

sometimes do when I go and visit my in-laws where you run down a couple of roads through some forest and there's a huge reservoir and you

run around, it's beautiful, it's one of the most beautiful scenes, a proper New England scene. But there's absolutely no security there or anything.

I mean if there's nothing, I mean, if someone fancied it, I suppose they could go there with 500 bottles of bleach and pour it in there and no one would be able to stop them. Yeah.

I mean, they will presumably be testing practices after the release. I mean, you'd hope so, wouldn't you? There was a YouTuber

who was seen, I don't think it was a reservoir, but it was a very picturesque kind of little scene. Picturesque. Suitcase. It was this YouTuber who was filming a little thing. Yeah, travel vlogger. Find suitcase.

Two years later, discovers there was a body in it. What? There's this beautiful woman, and she's at this kind of lake and she filmed this video of a scene. There she is. I'm not really sure where it is. Let's find out where it is.

It's in Cyprus. Right, yeah. Yeah, it's in Cyprus. New York-based vlogger Sarah Funk, which is a great name. Sarah Funk? Sarah Funk. It's like, what's his name?

The wrestler. Terry Funk. It's like Terry Funk. his name? The wrestler. Terry Funk. Terry Funk's daughter. Visited Cyprus' Mitsurou Red Lake, a toxic, acidic body of water, tinted red from a now-abandoned British mining operation in June 2017. I mean, she's basically just in a quarry

there, like a flooded quarry. She's standing in a quarry, yeah. But there's a... Yeah, see, look. There's a picture that she... In her video, basically, if you zoom in, you can see, look. There's a picture that she, like in her video, basically, if you zoom in, you can see this sort of bag floating in the water. Let me have a look, hang on. Isn't that spooky? A little bag floating in the water.

There's no way you're getting a body in that. It's a tiny little backpack. There's body, there was body in it. And they managed to locate it by, they managed to locate the time, they found the body, the police. Yeah. And then I think they managed to locate the time, they found the body, the police, and then I think they managed to figure out

how long it had been there through her, through her videos and stuff. So they sort of found people who'd visited that area because it's obviously a famous kind of historical, like,

good second photo. That forensic study of photos is amazing. Have you ever listened to Caliphate, the podcast? Yes.

Where they, there's a guy who's obviously visited some part of the world he shouldn't be in i believe it's syria during the um during isis isis occupation of it i guess and there's a couple of photos of him and he's claiming to be in a certain place but it's just literally him standing in a desert on some river bend or something and they they analyze it with it with the, where the sun is, time of year it's reportedly supposed to be, the topography of it.

And they can, they can. You don't, you don't even need quite hard. They can locate it. Yeah, exactly. You don't really need site.

And to be honest, this will be done like algorithmically in the future. They'll sort of go, right. They'll tell the computer there's a hut there. There's a tree there. The computer will figure out how far away it is again, where the sun is,

where the shadows are lying and stuff and it'll all be done automatically um and yeah we won't be able to do anything no well needs a bit no they're trying they're trying face recognition software in in england at the moment i've got beef with that you got some beef have you can i just put this out there it's just normally your area they'll never catch me i look like everyone yeah that's true gary neville has been spotted. I remember seeing that when we came into Luton Airport a few weeks ago.

Right. I know you weren't with me, actually. You'd flown back the day before, but we were there together. And I read that in the newspaper on the flight back and I saw some signs up at Luton Airport. It sounded like good news.

Soon, when you're coming back from an EU thing, you won't even need to have your passport because it'll recognise your face and they'll be able to identify you. I remember thinking, hang on a minute, right? Hang on a minute.

I don't remember signing up to that. You keeping my face alongside my name on record. B, most if not all airports in the UK are run by private companies. So essentially what you're saying is you're giving that information over to a private business,

which is massively problematic in terms of privacy and data protection. So how is that even legal? How is that even allowed? Well, I'm fairly certain every security officer who works in an airport is like an employee of our Homeland Security section.

But it doesn't matter. No, a lot of them work for, what's it called? The company that runs the airports in the UK. I forget their name now. Some of them are owned by Swissport. But they'll all be licensed by the government to have that information. I'm not particularly bothered about that particular piece of information.

What are you bothered about? Because they probably, if someone puts an APB on you because you've done something naughty and you're on a no-fly list, they'll be able to find out just by your face. They'll have pictures of you on on that you can opt out on this on this sure i'll say that i'm sure you can but i don't really know how but this is no

different rely on that don't they this is no different in they do yeah this is no different in principle to what you were talking about a week or two ago about um having to sign up to what to visit certain websites so they've got your name and stuff on detail to see what websites you've been looking at which you were saying last week or the week before. I wouldn't trust anyone with, if you've got some genuinely,

I sort of go on the principle I'm hiding in plain sight. If you can find something about me then you've had a more miserable day than I'll ever have. If you've hunted through everything I've done. But should it be like that though?

You what? It shouldn't be like that though, should it? I don't know, we've put so much out. You know, though? You what? It shouldn't be like that, though, should it? I don't know. We've put so much out. You know, you can sort of use the argument, saying, well, all right, you've not let anybody have your data on file,

but you've readily handed it to Facebook, you've readily handed it to Twitter, you've readily handed it to everybody else. But do they not have a responsibility to look after that, though? Well, presumably the airporters will have a higher quality of care than Facebook

and the socials won't they people saying your details is bad news though right it's bad news because they just share it all with everyone don't they

every company that you give it to I'd like a database where I could get the details of every single football fan who also likes podcasts

and I'll start talking to them start talking to them hello and before in the deep distant past before we started talking about this i had an idea to talk to you about the diatlov pass incident have we talked about it in on the show before i don't think so if we have it's a long time ago we make no apology for that so the diatlov pass incident was this um it's like an unexplained sort of mystery and the reason it came into my is this the Russians

yeah yeah we have spoken about that not that long ago though to be fair oh really okay because it's been reopened so we already mentioned it

I checked my notes and I couldn't see that we yeah because there's lightning strike bears just absolutely that's right

I was going to ask you to solve it did you have a theory then have you got a theory now boredom well they just killed themselves just killed themselves

they are conscious breathers, the Russian people. Is that right? Yeah, they just caught their blowholes. Yeah, and they just caught their blowholes

and just died. Could be done. They're all getting dolphin handjobs. They were given some tattoos by a friend and it weren't tattoos,

they were LSD. Is that right? Yeah. And there wasn't a girl from Grinch Hill to serve them up a can of coke to calm them down

is that what they did in that here's some coke have some coke it's poison it's poison no no it's poison

and she's going no it's not have the coke hey don't give a can of coke that's if you've got a stomach up for it disabled people

have compassion according to Grinch Hill wee I'm nine years old and even I found that patronising it's not LSD though though is it for coke coke coke doesn't go with lsd flat coke is for a stomach upset they've got confused there all right let's do some emails instead pizza why don't you um hit the button and give us a bit of julian assange and then we'll

come back hey y'all it's farmer me mine today i'm going to show you what i've been doing to take care of the pantry moth situation. Yeah, I mean, you've got, if you are in solitary confinement in an Ecuadorian embassy, you need to look after your clothes. You don't want moths. You're going to get moths. You're going to get moths. So Pete, from my memory last, on Monday, you didn't do any emails, so why don't you

do one now? Alright then. Have you got any? Yes, I have, Mother. I've got one from Tony Rupoli. Hello, Tony Rupoli. Enjoyed the show, including a Linkin Peak show, or as my girlfriend knows it, the Horse Blowjob

and Dolphin Handjob show. She's overheard what I promised her were not the most nuanced episodes. We were going to call it that, but there's not enough characters. The HB and DH. I also explained

that the context would probably not make it any better. That's almost certainly true. Just wanted to give you an update after you honoured me by reading out my email about my dad waking us up for football with a little involuntary static apnea. Despite forgetting to keep most of your contributors anonymous, you were cautious and only read my first name.

No need. When I told my dad his unusual parenting was now public knowledge, he just laughed and said, I'm famous. Good. His dad sounds fun. Yeah. After hearing about Pete's dad locking him out, I thought he'd appreciate another quick update on my pop.

We live in Canada, or as Voltaire called it, a few acres of snow. Once I was, while I was a teenager, during a particularly enthusiastic snowstorm, my father wagered me $10. I couldn't sprint around the house in waist-deep snow in my underwear. I, of course, took him up on his offer offer trudged through the snow and minus 30 temperatures only to find out he had locked the doors great stuff gathered my siblings and stood at a window to point at laugh great behavior he eventually let me in and paid up so fair play uh although his parenting styles were unique i think they worked and now work as a teacher principal for

a troubled youth in Northern Ontario. Thank you very much. You could have died. Your own son could have died. Tony Rupuli. Tony Rupuli. What about this from Jack from Sheffield? I like this one.

He says, Dear Luke and Pete, I wanted to jump in on the conversation concerning the most famous face you've seen in a toilet. Okay. This came from your story about someone who apparently saw the queen in a toilet. Oh, yeah, yeah. I mean, that was on a podcast and it was, you know, one of Barack Obama's guys. But it's still funny. Yeah. Jack says he was in a student pub in Leeds last year for a special pub quiz that had the entire student population of Leeds talking.

Making a special appearance was the man, the myth, the legend, Mark the Beast Labette of The Chase. He's so big. I can picture him, but I don't really know anything about him. Other than for brief photo opportunities, the man mounting quizzer was separated from his adoring fans by a velvet rope for the entirety of the evening. After a moderately successful night of quizzing and copious quantities of £1.50,

I was pretty satisfied with my night. However, when the time came for the seal to be broken, I headed to the lavatory to relieve myself. And as the cheap booze inevitably evacuated my body, the big man himself strolled in, planting himself at the urinals beside me. Having followed the man's quizzing career, I'd heard him mention on a couple of occasions

that he was a big Sheffield United fan. And as a tipsy boyhood blade from the steel city myself, I couldn't resist but exclaim we're all blades aren't we expecting a jovial response I was surprised to be looked

at with the face of complete apathy as he stated I'm more of a rugby man myself I just say that because my manager supports Sheffield United oh a disappointing end to

the evening and while I can neither confirm or deny whether the little beast matches the rest of the man, I learnt a valuable lesson that night. Never meet your

idols. Jack from Sheffield. He strikes me as not only being an ex-rugby player but also, yeah, a rugby man.

Like, just. Is he actually massive? Yeah, he's massive. He's the beast, isn't he? He's like six foot odd and really wide.

He's a monster. I think he married a young lady recently. Right. Google News says, the chases mark the beast Labette, 53, splits from cheating wife Katie, 26. What?

Oh, God. I've not been updated. His wife is half his age. They only got married last year, I think. He's six foot seven. Six foot seven. And he weighs 360 pounds. He's six foot seven six foot seven and he weighs 360 pounds he's six foot seven and my name's not kevin and i'm really good at quizzes yeah that's a song for

mark labette there that's what he sings he um 360 pounds blimey all right that's twice my weight almost big boy well you've lost a bit of weight so you've been you've brought up your end of the bargain i mean that is a lot thanks for that email that was very insightful very insightful indeed I'm trying for a short one to close us out hello to I like this one former youngest listener

Joe Southern former former younger listener it's a grey area well I mean this I mean this disgusts me quite frankly hi lads

I'm no longer your no longer your youngest listener but I believe when I first started to listen to your other show the Football Ramble

I was around about the age of 13 and his gateway drug was our 442nd's work on YouTube but I believe when I first started to listen to your other show, The Football Ramble, I was around about the age of 13. And his gateway drug was our 4-4 Tunes work on YouTube. Which is basically, I love this part of our history because it makes me smile. There was a lad who, 4-4 Tunes on YouTube, who's a famous... He's massive on YouTube, right?

He's a massive kind of flash animation about footballers and somebody who does songs. And he sort of eked out a pretty lucrative career doing some, you know, pretty, I mean, I would say quite boilerplate

animations about footballers but they entertain, they are big, big, big in foreign countries that, you know, that don't necessarily have

that English sort of sense of humour. They're absolutely huge and bless him, he loved the show or he loved the ramble, and he decided, sort of said, look, let me do some animations of you guys doing that. And he did some wonderful work for us.

And he... Well, you called him boilerplate, so don't try and go back on it now. Well, no, I'm just... Well, I can only be... I can only say what I feel about the cartoons, can't I? Yeah. But he has a very sort of like

very different sense of humor on on his on his uh on his youtube than in real life and stuff so um all of his fans were just disgusted by the collaboration i've never seen a fan base of someone else just sort of going what is this yeah what is this why are these men talking at me and i enjoyed it immensely and and and to his credit he kept doing them and I felt really bad. It's because you've got a thing where you expect everything you do to fail. So when

something comes up which is quite a negative response it satisfies your initial thoughts. No it doesn't satisfy me it made me sad yeah but it was involving someone else. Yeah but you're saying that you thought it was funny because it was a bad effort. On our part, not on his involving someone else, see. Yeah, but you're saying that you thought it was funny because it was a bad effort.

No, it was good. On our part, not on his part, on our part. I just felt sorry for him. I found that fascinating that a man would do it for so long. How many subscribers has he got? I don't know, all of his. Oh, there'll be millions by now, surely. But he's massive.

And he was willing to put his reputation on the line for the ramble. And we did not let him down he's got two point he's got 2.5 million subscribers i know it's crazy isn't it crazy yeah well anyway what's the email gonna say it just says i just it just made me laugh that reminded me of the youtube animator for fortunes that one all right so just so then thank you very much uh and a quick one from william i just given a quick email not only confirming that i know of graphite cider but that it's still sold up here in newcastle yeah someone, someone sent an email in about how it made them sick. I don't know if we could read it out,

because I wasn't sure if that would be problematic if they still make it there. I just always think with brands like that, they ain't never going to advertise. You're not going to upset them on that, Mark. I mean, they're a budget brand. Are they really going to get litigious? No, probably not.

They could probably just keep the factories going. I was completely, there's an IPA called Graphite, brewed by the Great North Eastern Brewing Company. Right. That obviously isn't it. And if you Google graphite cider now, you don't really get you don't really get anything back

I mean people talk about white lightning quite a lot and other brands of cider but I think graphite is one of the great lost cider brands sadly let's end with this email

from Kesa who says hello boys in your latest episode you requested more emails so here we go what are your celebrity crushes past and current?

It's no secret that Luke fancies the Dragon Queen. Is that true? Have I said that? Have you said that? I think so. She's very attractive.

I like following her on Instagram. She seems like she's a good laugh. Yeah I've interviewed her. She's nice. And old time listeners

will know that a wee innocent Pete once hoped to get cosy with Samantha Fox. Oh yeah. You were about eight weren't you at the time or something.

Dare you divulge any other infatuations with those who dwell in the spotlight. Me, I fancy Pete and my husband has a major man crush on Luke. Much love, Kesa. Well, so we've... Pete won't fancy anyone famous because you have to interview them and you're very professional. Right? Yeah.

I mean, I think you're always setting yourself up for the fall for fancying someone, sort of going, oh, they're brilliant, aren't they? It just seems like quite an old school way of putting it, because obviously I'm married, so it doesn't really make any, it's not really on my radar. Whereas you're not married, so maybe it is on yours. Yeah, but like,

you're not going to be with them, are you? No. So it doesn't really matter, it doesn't really it doesn't really matter it doesn't go into it tell him tell him he fancies the one from the office tell your good lady

yeah I really fancy Diana at the office like that Peter Kay advert yes when they go around the table and he just goes yeah oh Jenny from Accounts

mine would be Kylie Rae Jepsen's I told you before weird yeah but it's not weird she came into your consciousness when she was like 16 I'm not having it

she's my age you idiot wrong in my mind in your mind she's young but she's not she's not young we have this

conversation every time Kylie Rae Jepsen is I'm going to tell you how old she is now sexually sexless popstrel she's 34 wow

why is she singing such saccharine pop music? I think you might be getting confused with that other girl who was going out with Justin Bieber. I forgot who. I don't know. She was the one... Ariana Grande. Right.

Was she going out with Justin Bieber? I think so. Oh, we sound so old. We do. I don't think she ever did. I think they weren't friends. Okay. But you are getting confused about who is...

I think she is very young. Yeah. I think if you have a friend who fancies Ariana Grande maybe if they go into hospital drill their hard drives that's all I'm saying just drill them out

drill them with what purpose just kill them whatever's on there why do you want to do that if they're committing horrendous crimes you shouldn't be

aiding and abetting oh next thing you know you're aiding and abetting a paedophile I'm just saying I've got a diamond tip drill, guys. I'll ask no questions,

but I will keep the batteries. Is that how you... I will leave you the batteries. Grab the thermal paste, stick it in the back pocket. Grab the GPU. Right, let's get out of here. It's hit rock bottom.

It really has, hasn't it? Thanks for your email, Kay. So thanks to email for everyone else. Hello at LukeandPeteShow.com, of course. We'll be back on Monday talking about the weekend, no doubt. But you have a great one, and we'll see you very, very soon. And if you do fancy a run of grande, have a word with yourself. Yeah, do that.

Girl or boy. This was a Radio Stakhanov production.