The Luke and Pete Show - Episode 170: Endings

Episode Date: May 23, 2019

This time around on what the kids are affectionately called 'LAPS', we hear of a bunch of school kids that got to spend their time hanging out at a theme park rather doing exams, we hear of a plastic poo practical joke that went horribly wrong, and we also hear what Pete thinks about darts.Elsewhere there's a discussion about how to end a successful TV or video game project, a few good pointers on the difference between Patsy Palmer and Patsy Kensit, and Luke's been to Santorini.To get in touch, it's [e-mail] chin!***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

watcha it's the luke and pete show episode luke moore 170 ah maximum outshot available in darts is that right what's an outshot well to finish you have to finish on a double or the bullseye oh okay so it's not as big as 180 triple 20 triple 20 bull 170 180 you can get as a score but you can't finish on 180 right darts there everyone darts there they don't seem to have that rule

in the far east I've noticed on the game is it 301 201 because there's different ones isn't there 301

501 yeah we ain't getting there in 12 rounds how long have you got because I'll tell you what if you want to do 501, clear the decks.

But you'd have to finish on a double, which has always annoyed my English friends who get very upset. But you are also English, so you should find that mad. I don't find that mad. I don't really understand the old bar games. I don't think they're important.

What's your favourite bar game? I think it's darts. I love darts. Yeah, I'm terrible at it, but I love it. But I only like the ones? I think it's darts. I love darts. Yeah, I'm terrible at it but I love it. But I only like the ones in the machines that you just throw

like the American ones that are plastic, plastic tipped and you throw them and it counts it up for you. I can't be awesome maths, not when I'm having a drink.

No. Fuck that. My dad tells a story, my dad used to be quite a competent darts player for his local pub or whatever

and he tells a story that when he was playing against another pub once, probably back in the tells a story that when he was playing against another pub once, probably back in the 70s, the guy he was playing against got really drunk. And while he was sitting down

when my dad was having his turn, he kind of fell asleep and nodded off. But as he nodded off, his cigarette roll-up went so small it like burnt his mouth and started to set his beard on fire.

Oh no. So he had to slap him in the face to put the beard out. A rude awakening. Yeah. don't know if it's true don't care if it's true it's a good story

it's one of my dad's staples yeah my dad used to play for money in pool oh did he he had his own pool

I thought your dad was a bit like Paul Newman he said yes in that way he is and you are the Tom Cruise he does have blue

eyes but not as striking as Paul Newman's beautiful eyes beautiful peepers he said that it was kind of hard to where he used to play and see him to play for eyes. But not as striking as Paul Newman's beautiful eyes, beautiful peepers. He said that it was kind of hard to, where he used to

play and see him, to play for money because you just need to walk around with it. You need a big guy with you because otherwise you'd win

the money in the pub and then you go outside and fill it with... Yeah, I can imagine. I was in a rum old pub once in Portsmouth and it was a

sailors pub and the only reason I was in there is because we were doing, admittedly in retrospect an appallingly basic round of pub golf

right which we used to do every year when we were kids and it meant you had to go to a couple of the pub people who are listening who have been to Portsmouth on the south coast of the UK

will know the kind of town it can be I was there yesterday were you? yeah didn't ring me up again you weren't there

I live in London and so we wouldn't ordinarily go to these pubs. There's a bunch of pubs on the harbour itself. I don't know what they're like now, but back then they were quite rough. There was the Ship Hansen, and there's one called the Victory.

The Victory's nice, doesn't it? No. No. It might be now, but it wasn't then. And I was playing pool against my friend, and this guy came in, covered in tattoos, drunk,

all the rest of it. And was like, point of you, I'm playing you for a fiver. And, uh, I was like, ah,

one, I'm like 18. I haven't really got a five. It's a spare two. I don't really, I can't see how I'm going to win here. I can't see if, even if I win the game,

you're not going to be happy about giving me a fiver. Yeah. And if I had, um, if I didn't care what people thought of me I probably would have said can I just give you a fiver and we'd just cut out the minimum anyway we had to play and it was yeah

I think I ended up losing anyway but it was quite sort of quite worrying it was grim you're a bit like this you're a power drinker so when you get amongst your ale you really have to get intense about it yeah but I don't start talking to anybody else. I fold in on myself like a cheap origami swan.

Like a deck chair. Like a deck chair. Yeah, I don't want to talk to anyone. No. What do you want to do when you're drinking? You want to party, do you? I want to party, mate. I want everyone to know that Donnie can dance.

I don't dance anymore. I've not danced for a while, actually. So maybe the dancers left me. You'll never I've not danced for a while, actually. So maybe the dance has left me. You'll never know. Can't fight the moonlight, mate. We're off on a little holiday this weekend, aren't we? It's not a holiday, mate. It's a working weekend, actually.

They made that very clear, didn't they? Get your head on, pal. Take your laptop, at least. At least take your laptop. Can I take my Switch? So when the guy from the commercial partner sees you about checking or through security, you can, oh yeah, got my laptop.

Got my laptop. Yeah, won't be using that is that a child's laptop from Fisher Price from Fisher Price it just makes got my laptop

find out I don't animal press the button cow for cats cow there used to be one in Woolworths

that used to I used to entertain myself because there's nothing to do in Woolworths apart from steal pick and mix or play with the toys

yeah I mean you can't even go to Woolworths now it's got a guy couple of my mates got lifted for stealing blank do in Woolworths apart from steal, pick and mix or play with the toys yeah I mean you can't even go to Woolworths now it's got a guide a couple of my mates got lifted for stealing blank tapes from Woolworths oh there we go

terrible crime I mean what is the point of that that's lame isn't it yeah at least buy something with something on it with some resale value not just bulk items and they're boxy as well

very boxy still calendars you can get them down your trousers but there was one that you used to press and he used to go I'm poor Peter really? you used to press and he used to go I'm poor Peter

really? he used to press the P it used to have like a name like you know I'm bawdy Brian I'm bawdy Brian yeah

C I'm cheesy Chris all the boys and then when he got to P it was I'm poor Peter so people used to go

I'm poor Peter for you yeah did it make you cry? Knocked them spark out, mate. Now who's the poor one, I said. How was Santorini? It's still you because your purchases are inadvisable.

Santorini was absolutely bloody lovely. It was there for my sister's wedding. She got married in the beautiful town of Imre Vigli. It was fantastic. Wife and I went up to Oia, which is the thing you've, you will probably, if you're imagining Santa really now listening to this you'll imagine

the beautiful whitewashed buildings and the blue domes and on the cliff face and on the rocks that's Oya which is a town in the very far north of the island we went to that

it was great I had a lovely time actually my whole family were there because it was a wedding so it was quite nice it's the first time I've been on holiday with my family since 1996 or 7

oh that's nice I haven't yeah same here to be honest been a long time your parents don't like travelling do they no they certainly do not First time I've been on holiday with my family since 1996 or 7. Oh, that's nice. Yeah, same here, to be honest. It's been a long time since I've been away. Your parents don't like travelling, though, do they? No, they certainly do not. Did your good lady enjoy the volcano action? Oh, yes. We collected some sand.

We collect sand from wherever we go. So we collected... It was quite funny, actually, because we went to... A lot of the sand there on the beaches of Santorini are black sand, because it's volcanic island. But there's a beach called the Red Beach for obvious reasons. The sand is red. There's a kind of weird rock formation there where the rocks are red.

Yeah, I don't really know. Sea strawberries. My wife did explain it to me because she's got a background in geological education. Can it be iron? Iron's quite red, isn't it? This is the kind of questions I was asking. I didn't understand her explanation. But what she did say is brilliant because she knows what she's talking about. Just eat your ice cream.

Yeah. You've got it all down you again. We were walking this cliff this sort of what you'd call I suppose a beach side path over rocks

to get to it. Right. And we got there and there's loads of the usual kind of American and Chinese tourists mostly sort of younger girls sunbathing.

And the first thing Mimi said when we got to the beach was looking up at the cliffs we're going yeah this is really unsafe. And the first thing Mimi said when we got to the beach was looking up at the cliffs, we're going, yeah, this is really unsafe. Get the sand, we're going. Because the geological sort of formation of the cliffs

is very unstable. And she was pointing out to me, look there, look there, look there. That's all rock falls. Let's go. And later on that night, I was looking online and it said that the tourist board and stuff

have advised you to not go there. Because you're going to get a rock on your noggin. Well, it's just you don't know what's going to happen. The rocks could fall at any point. We got the sand from there, the red beach, and it's beautiful sand, but we could no hang around. There was people sunbathing all over the whole thing. The hotels apparently there

have issued out warnings saying, please don't go there. We know we can't stop you going there. Yeah. But don't go there. I mean, they should be able to stop. People should be able to stop, be stopped. Because, you know, otherwise. Oi, back in the good old days, no health and safety.

We should put up nets or something. I don't know. Yeah. Things like that. I sort of go, oh, that's interesting that like you just, that's the thing that always worries me about doing anything a bit risky like getting in some sea i'll just be pulled out by like a riptide oh god this is exactly what i thought was going to happen i read about because obviously we're going um we're going to a villa for a football project um and i wanted to get a um

a jet ski i'm doing the universal signal for jet ski and also motorbike depending on uh we're on sand sand or potentially giving um two dolphins a handjob at the same time and more on them later on if we get to it and uh there's a lot of people that get um electrocuted you're quite finished sorry i was just presenting someone to show as a dolphin okay carry on um a lot of people get electrocuted by jet skis on On, well, struck by lightning. If there's a sudden lightning storm and you're out in the sea in your jet ski. Yeah, what could be better in a lightning storm than being surrounded and covered in salt water and being the tallest point under the storm? I don't think jet skis have any protection.

No. Have you done jet skiing? Yeah, I really like it. I really want to do it more because you're the power well I think anybody who doesn't drive do you start to feel blood in it yeah

anyone who doesn't drive going over like you know five ten miles an hour you're like this is the fastest I'm ever going to go yeah

it's wonderful great so it's a real thrill for me so what you're saying when we go to Menorca you want to go jet skiing no I can't because it's going to be fucking raining, isn't it?

Oh, yeah. Honestly. I remember someone shared the weather app recently and said, absolute stitch up. Stitch up. Saturday and Sunday. It's literally the days that we're there, pissing it down.

Wonderful. Well, we're there to work. We're there to work, so it doesn't matter. I'll have my laptop. I'm surprised. Laptop. I'll have my laptop as well. What's that?

Peter's just doing some work. Poor Peter. Poor Peter. Poor Peter. But what have you been doing since I've been away? Have you been up too much? I've probably enjoyed the ramble, by the way. I don't know. I had a busy couple of weeks.

As I said, went to the Isle of Wight to film something for the Isle of Wight Festival. Coverage was doing on the radio. Get your pre-reqs in. Get my pre-reqs in. No, just working, I suppose. Not really done much. Went to Cardiff. You were there for that

yeah i was here then i had quite a quiet weekend you're not being away for long so yeah not not a couple nights before my sister's wedding they had which i thought was a really good idea they had this kind of evening where everyone who didn't know each other could also get together and have a few drinks and they decided to do karaoke and um it was obviously funny, and there was a guy there, who I won't name, who was really, really drunk, and at one point, he pointed over to me,

and was like, Ramble, Ramble. He's not one of my brother-in-law's mates. Yeah. Ramble, Ramble. Here's one for you, Ramble. Just literally called me Ramble, and did World in Motion.

Oh. He was so drunk, he could barely enunciate any of the words. And afterwards, he was like, what do you think of that? That's for you, that was. Did you give it a beat and then go, you're going to be a star, kid? Yeah, I said, I'll make you a star.

Meet me out back. And I did a rendition. My sister stitched me up because it was as soon as I walked in, I hadn't nailed it. A sip of beer. And the guy comes over. As soon as my sister saw me walk in The guy comes over

The host of the karaoke And says And next up on the karaoke Is Betsy My niece And Uncle Lukey Yay She knows I can't go back on that

Because it's with Bets No exactly Betsy stood there with the mic in her hand already Please tell me it was something erotic Just can't wait to be king The Lion King Oh is that Lion King Yeah

Okay right okay It was great fun Could have been worse Absolute stitch up though king that's great fun could have been worse absolute stitch up though absolute stitch up it could have been Nelly and the woman out of

Destiny's Child Kelly Rowland who sends a text message with an Excel spreadsheet in the video have you seen that yes I have people haven't seen that

what year is that Pete 2002 well I mean it was brought up about two years ago and then it found more life this year as well which is weird in the music video

for Nelly and Kelly Nelly I love you yes I do I can't remember what it's called now what's it called I love you my boo

yeah no matter what I do that one in the video she's upset with Nelly because he's left her stood her up or whatever so she wants to send him

a text message but it's back in the day the very finest sweet spot when smartphones have come out. But they're still kind of Palm Pilot type vibes. Yeah, it was one of those Nokia numbers that were like a kind of landscape format flip phone. Yes.

But it was like, they're so exotic that you sort of think, who buys these? I don't think I ever saw one. Well, I'll tell you who does, Kelly Rowland. It was like a sidekick. And she sends him a text messaging quote, but she does it using Microsoft Excel. And it's great because at that moment in time,

the director of the video is like, no one's going to know. As long as it's got text, don't care. Maybe she was copying it into, just as she could order her thoughts a little bit, she wrote it in the Excel spreadsheet. Control C, Control V. Control C, Control V, just copied and past wrote it in the Excel spreadsheet. Control C, Control V. Control C, Control V.

Just copied and pasted it into the messaging app. I'll put it in this cell to spell check it. And yeah, but anyway, whatever. It was fun.

I had a great time. Karaoke was fun. Someone did World in Motion. I did Lion King. What more would you want? Lovely old job. Pete, I want to talk to you quickly

before we go to emails about this news story I read. Okay. What do you think about this? I've got a feeling, and I'm sometimes wrong on this, but I'm going to put it out there anyway. I think you might have a strong opinion on this. I'm going to read the first line of the news story. Okay. Primary school pupils

who thought they were due to sit an exam turned over their papers to discover they would be going on a surprise theme park trip to Chessington World of Adventures. Enjoyable. The exam paper said

they had been tricked into thinking they had a science test but would actually be spending the day on a rollercoaster. Not a day on a rollercoaster.

One. Everyone on one big rollercoaster. What do you think about that? I think it's good but also I'd be annoyed if I'd studied for the

test. Like the swats in the class would be furious. And to be honest the parents probably would have been as well because A they have to fork out

for a trip to fucking Chessington World Adventures and also you know the bubble works and all that business and the kid doesn't learn any science

so I liked the idea of it I thought it was a nice story the kids are only year 6 they're about 10 or 11 but until I saw how self-aggrandizing the teacher who did this

right was because he actually took the time to put an exam question in quotes on the paper that they had to read. And it said, please read the whole question. Chichester class year six children are going on a trip to Chessington World of Adventures today and have been tricked by Mr. Bacon into thinking they actually have a science test. Tick one.

Is he A, the best teacher ever, or B, the best teacher ever? Okay. I mean, is this a peer-reviewed question? Is this kind of like... It's the need for approval I can't stand. I know that's rich coming from two guys who do a podcast,

but you understand what I mean. It's not enough for the teachers to let him do it. He has to big himself up. He's got my listeners and us. Yeah, it's interesting, isn't it? Yeah, I wouldn't necessarily have gone down that route. I would have at least put a question. But read the whole of the question.

I'd put like the science bit at the start and then sort of at the end go, P.S. you are going to Chessing World Adventures. Thank you, Mr. Baker, or whatever his fucking name is. Mr. Donaldson, in your case. Mr. Donaldson. Do you know what I'd have done? I'd have got on some of those old school desks with the thing flips open and you put your books inside it. Do they still have those? Probably. Do you know what I'd have done? I'd have got on some of those old school desks where the thing flips open

and you put your books inside of it. Do they still have those? Probably not. No. You know what I mean though? Yeah. And I'd say like, okay, your test is in the desk.

Open it up. When they open it up, I would have left a dog turd in there with the ticket on a little flag on a toothpick stuck in the dog turd. I would have put the tickets in everyone's desk apart from one child who's a severed head of their mother would be in there.

Yeah, with the ticket stuck in the mouth. Like it was some kind of like a Juarez, kind of like cartel, Mexican drug cartel. Unlucky, mate. Yeah. Possibly a bit specialist, that. Let's take a break. And when we come back,

we will deal with all your bloody emails. On each step with peloton from their pop runs to walk and talks you define what it means to be a runner whatever your level embrace it journey starts when you say so if you've got five minutes or 50 peloton tread has workouts you can work in or bring your classes with you for outdoor runs, walks and hikes, led by expert instructors on the Peloton app. Call yourself a runner. Peloton All Access Membership Separate. Learn more at onepeloton.ca slash running.

Yeah, get in the sea, Walrus. But they can sense the others down below. As they get hungry, they need to return to the sea walrus but they can sense the others down below as they get hungry they need to return to the sea a walrus slash julian assange there julian assange um in his most stunning and engaging role as a walrus in David Attenborough, or as Pete calls him, the Whispering Man's Netflix documentary about just the plastic bags and all that. If I'm with no one else and I say I'm on the radio or something

and I have to remember David Attenborough's name, I will easily be able to remember his name. But when I'm with someone, I use them as a crutch. And so I did it early on while you were interviewing, um, uh, somebody for a ramble meets. And I went, who's that woman who was in die hard too, uh, which is of course,

was it Patsy Palmer? It wasn't Patsy Palmer. But you, I, this is the thing. And I have to, I've got well used to reading the rooms with you. Yeah.

I've read the rooms. I don't, um, I don't ever really question it because it just takes you down a road. You don't need to go down. But the person you were describing to me, I don't ever really question it because it just takes you down a road you don't need to go down. But the person you were describing to me, I know was Patsy Palmer,

but the way you described it was with some information that wasn't correct. And it's very hard to explain to people who don't know you, who are listening to this, but I do get what you mean, hence me being able to guess Patsy Palmer. Yes. But she was not in Die Hard to my knowledge.

And also, it's not even Die Hard. It's a completely different situation. What was the famous Mel Gibson Lethal Weapon? She was in Lethal Weapon 2. And the woman who was in Lethal Weapon 2 was also in Let's Have a Look. Patsy Palmer wasn't in Lethal Weapon. No, I know. It wasn't even Patsy Palmer.

Oh, okay, right. It was Patsy Kensett. Oh,hal Weapon. No, I know it wasn't even Patsy Palmer. Oh, okay, right. It was Patsy Kensett. Oh, okay, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Who I think ended up in EastEnders. Possibly, yeah. I was just making the point that she would come out of the Bower building in Golden Square to be met by a host of autograph hunters.

And instead of just getting her autograph, some of them would come up with quite erotic pictures with her in lingerie and basques when she was 19 and modelling. And she's like, I'm not fucking signing that. With good grace and decorum, but still. I think there's a mind maze needed whenever I have a conversation with you, and that's part of the structure of what this show is. Look, we've had Mind Carter, now it's Mind Maze. Is it Mind Maze?

It was like a little game in Carter that would draw upon the entries in Encarta and it would give you a little game. Was that like an Easter egg feature? It wasn't even an Easter egg. I don't remember that. Do you want to go into Encarta? Do you want to go to the...

Do you want to look at the entries in order or would you like to play Mind Maze? I think it was called Mind Maze and it was just like a little kind of trivia quiz. The best thing ever about Mind M Kart was it had videos on it. And that was so mind-blowing. I remember the entry for Basketball and the entry for David Bowie, I think. David Bowie had a version of the song Fame, if I remember rightly.

Yeah, possibly right, actually. Because I copied it. I think I spoke about it on the show about three years ago. I copied and pasted a picture of David Bowie loads and loads of times on a Word document when I was supposed to be doing some IT spreadsheet work, possibly access database work. And the teacher came over and went, what the bloody hell is that, Peter?

And I went, it's David Boy, and she said, get out. I was right. She asked the question. She asked the question. I answered. Have you seen the Elton John movie, by the way? I've not, no. I've heard different things.

If you can't get that right, if you can't get an Elton John biopic right you've got no business who plays him Taron Egerton Taron Egerton where else has he been in

I don't know I thought he might be spied you're the last person I should be asking he's in Lethal Weapon 2 Taron Egerton is in he's just all these young

these young actors that I just can't tell the difference oh he's in Kingsman isn't he oh that's right yes Spider-Man yes Spider-Man yeah he's the new Spider-Man yes yeah emails Pete

emails emails apparently he's also going to be in a new remake of the Dark Crystal interesting emails what about

this one from David show at no not show hello at Luke and Peach.com you guys have

stepped up actually we were running a bit low and now we're absolutely inundated I mean I got back from a week away and there

was four pages of emails I red um so thank you for that we will get to all of them we read every single one of them um if we don't make the show it's possibly one of two reasons one is it's just simply not good enough or two um probably a bit long and pete couldn't be asked um david has emailed in saying hello to luke and the pete i thought i would continue the odd phobia trope from recent episodes and let you know about mine. So we talked about phobias, didn't we? What were the examples of some of the weird phobias?

Stickers? Stickers. Yes, that was a particularly bad one. The number 13, I think. That wasn't one. It wasn't one. Maybe I just learned. I can't really think.

Eggs? I don't know. You can say anything. Just eggs. And there was definitely more about stickers anyway David says I have no idea how it started

but for as long as I can remember I have had a phobia about buttons on clothes right okay it's dependent on

size and material of the button but they make me feel nauseous when I can see them I can deal with buttons on shirts due to their size and ones made of metal pearly kings and queens

would be my worst nightmare. I thought I'd be the only person to suffer from this affliction, but the husband of my wife's best friend has a button phobia too. Needless to say, we have never brought up in conversation because we are men. Well, you should talk about problems.

That's what men are terrible at. And there's no judgment here, Pete. Important to say. Have you ever come across that phobia before? No, but it would remind me of tryptophobia, you know, the fear of irregular hauls or ships. That's quite a common one, isn't it? And I can kind of see that one. Yeah, it's a bit creepy.

Like anything seed poddy where you think something's going to come out is actually quite disgusting. And that's probably quite an evolutionary reason for that, right? A dangerous evolutionary reason. Yeah, it probably means that you've got some kind of animal burrowing into your body and stuff like that. You have Noah Harari would talk about that in his Sapiens book, I expect. Say again? You've read the book Sapiens? I've half read it.

It's brilliant. The second one's not as good, but the Sapiens is brilliant. Sapiens 2. It's called Homo Deus, the second one, I think. I think it's the second one. Anyway, he would kind of talk about that. One of the things I found really interesting about Sapiens

was he says that one of the biggest advantages and reasons for the successful nature of human beings is their ability to believe in myths right to believe in things that don't actually exist okay metaphor and it can be anything from like a company because what is a company a company is basically like the people made up of it and the brand but it doesn't actually exist right and it's the same with storytelling ensuring people's safety by telling metaphorical stories about danger all that kind of start god god you're opening a can of god there can i will pass yeah myself but yeah that's exactly the same kind of principle yeah um so anyway yeah buttons because

dogs never just sort of stop and go oh shit i forgot about dragons. Dolphins can. Dolphins can understand the concept of the handshandy monster. They come along, give you a lovely little treat. You were away when old Game of Thrones finished, didn't you? I've watched it. Did you manage to grab a hold of it? I watched it on Tuesday night. Reactions?

Quick one, in a sentence. I'm just going to echo what I said before and there'll be no spoilers, don't worry. I, um, one, I understand that the popularity of the show means that it's impossible to keep everyone happy and the

the loudest voices are going to be the most, sort of, um, opposition kind of noises and voices and the complaints, I suppose. But I personally, if I'm being totally honest, I kind of enjoyed the ending. I thought it was okay.

I thought you're never going to please everyone. You're not going to tie off every loose end. I do think in retrospect, and I will re-watch it, but I do think in retrospect, the final season looked a bit unnecessarily rushed. I don't know why it had to be six episodes when all the others were 12 um perhaps there's a scheduling thing i'm not aware of there

or a shooting schedule i wasn't aware of but um oh really i kind of enjoyed it i'm not and this is going to sound hugely self-aggrandizing pete but this is a safe space so i'll say it to you and the listeners can judge me accordingly and i'm not in any way comparing what we do to that kind of big budget thing i genuinely and sincerely not doing that. But when you get an idea of how the sausage is made in a creative endeavor, whatever the creative endeavor, I found it kind of makes,

and you probably disagree, you probably think it goes the other way, but for me, I find that it makes me more accepting and tolerant of what people are trying to do, if you know what I mean. Because we, I mean. Because, I mean, it's not a proper job,

but we do a lot of fucking stuff. We work pretty hard to make stuff happen. And sometimes people aren't very happy with it, and sometimes people kick off. And having experienced that in a very, very infinitesimally small kind of way, it makes me more likely to be forgiving. And certainly when I was a younger man. Does that make sense?

With the great wall-sized caveat that certainly nothing we've ever approached doing certainly when I was when I was a younger man does that make sense with the great wall sized caveat that certainly nothing we've ever approached doing is anything like no but it doesn't mean we let go of it

it doesn't mean we let go of it no but yeah I think any I think I am more aware of how fucking ungrateful

people are yeah exactly that's what I guess we're better way of saying it but only because I have grown up playing video games. Now, video games

are a wholly unethical thing to, piece of media to endure and to, sorry, enjoy. Film doesn't experience crunch necessarily

to that degree anyway. TV shows don't experience that. Explain to me what you mean by crunch. I'll comment on that. So sport doesn't experience it either. When it comes to the last month or two months or sometimes quarter of a year, half a year

of a video game getting released, overtime is accepted as a thing that has to be done. You have to work seven days a week, six days a week. You have to work 12-hour shifts to get video games um released on time because shareholders demand that a video game doesn't slip from its original release date it frequently does shift because it's just it's just bad management that they've said that it'll come out at some time when they just don't have the time for it and it's accepted

as an industry uh that people have to just not see their parents, their families, their loved ones for six months while this thing gets shipped and it's a disgrace. Yeah. And so when you see people, children,

mainly just lads in their mum's basement complaining that this is not my Daenerys and this is not my Game of Thrones and this is not my this and this is not my that. Yeah.

Go fuck yourself. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that is something that we do. I do think we have an insight into that because, again, I'm hugely grateful to anyone who listens to any of our stuff or partakes of anything we do.

It's been hard fought over the years, but the situation, it's like Humphrey Bogart stuff, I think I said it to you before. The only thing you owe the public is a good performance, right? So you do your best. You don't owe anything beyond that said it to you before the only thing you owe the public is a good performance right so you do your best you don't owe anything

beyond that I owe you a fucking damn thing I'll give you the best I can give you and if you don't like it I'm cool with that and if every single

human being on the planet doesn't like it then I've got no career in this and I have to go and find something else to do and that's the tacit agreement and I get that

but the very idea that you could please is something you alluded to there you could please every individual fan alluded to there you could please every individual fan of that show in a universal way people need to take

a step back and realise that actually the world doesn't revolve around you so you might find things you do like you might find

things you don't like that's life but the annoying thing is like you see trailers for say Mass Effect the last Mass Effect or the second last

Mass Effect had an ending that upset quite a lot of people the internet uh the the the um gamers uh en masse um complained they changed the ending the game got released it got repatched and the game changed uh the sonic the hedgehog um character i saw the trailer it looks a bit weird he's got a weird human mouth yeah his eyes aren't the same as the cartoon or the original video game.

And the director has basically said, we'll go back and change that. Has the release date changed? No. So which means that everybody who works in the visual effects department, which is the whole thing, I guess, has had to go back and change the look

of this animal, of this cartoon animal so that it's more palatable to some absolute neckbeards on the internet. So it's shit like that that upsets me because they're not going home for the weekend because some idiot on the internet goes don't knock his eyes or his mouth. It's a fucking

edgehog, mate. It's a bright blue edgehog. Don't worry about it. It looks shit apart from that. Yeah. For crying out loud. Yeah, it takes quite the leap of faith to buy into this anyway. This is a bad bright blue hedgehog

that can run fast. The only thing I would add to that is just this idea, which I disagree with, that this is a new thing. It's not a new thing. And the reason I know it's not a new thing is because I can remember

when the Sopranos finished and people lost their shit about that. And if you watch it back now, it's kind of the best ending you could have really got there's no real other way you could imagine it to end and so with retrospect

I think people will be a bit more balanced and understand that really whichever way you slice it I know you're going down the video game kind of route but on the original question

you asked my favourite TV show was Mad Men and I think that was it had to end somehow and it wasn't ended in an amazing way but then what do you want? yeah exactly that's what Men and I think that was it had to end somehow and it wasn't ended in an amazing way but then what do you want?

Yeah exactly. That's what I was going to say. It's got to end. Don't let it detract from the fact that Game of Thrones was an absolutely phenomenal TV event

probably of the like we've never seen before and no it wasn't perfect because nothing is fucking perfect and that's just life. Yeah. So manage your expectations

accordingly. It's not costing you anything beyond a subscription to a TV show to watch it really. I mean you've got to be

you know what is it a few quid a month. I know that's money to people that maybe some people can't afford but I don't think they're not

keeping up their end of the bargain because you didn't personally like it. Anyway do an email because we're supposed to do emails. We're almost out of

time. Well Kieran pointed out that Free Solo which you've spoken about eloquently on the telly on Channel 4 tonight. So if you fancy a bit of that here in the UK,

it's on Channel 4 tonight from I think nine o'clock. If you've got plans, DVR it. DVR it, mate. It might not have a DVR presumptuous much. And if you get this late,

go on to Channel 4 plus one. Nick. Hello, Nick. Great. I love this. Whilst this isn't your exploits in episode 157 with fake poo, I was motivated enough to tell you the story about what happened to my dear mother recently.

I live overseas with my family. One wife, two kids, two dogs. For a couple of months every year, my mother comes to stay with us. It's not problematic as it might seem. We've got enough room. My children enjoy having their grandma around. The children also like to play the odd practical joke on her. She's 10 and 12.

And after having recently discovered fake dog poo a beautiful part of any child's life I was about to say great moment this looks so much like poo how is this allowed

this glorious artefact I'm disgusted by this they set about a harmless little prank knowing my mum is always the last to bed they left the fake poo near the top of the stairs

no this isn't a sick joke where she falls backwards and breaks her neck like she did casually with the expectations that their grandma They left the fake poo near the top of the stairs. No, this isn't a sick joke where she falls backwards and breaks her neck, like should I casually? With the expectations that their grandma would see the plastic poo and proceed to get the stuff ready to clean it up, or to discover once she had the disinfectant paper towel, brush, dustbin and bag

in position, she would notice it was fake. The joke went exactly to plan. Upon climbing the stairs, my mum saw the fake poo, went back downstairs, collected the necessary items, only then to discover it was actually a plastic poo. Perfect, but what happened next is hilarious, although you can be the judge of that. The following day, the children were walking, fresh from the jubilation of discovering the joke worked as planned. They left for school in such a hurry, they forgot to ensure that our dogs were locked outside the house, as was the norm.

Whilst my mum dozed in her room, one of the dogs, probably excited to be left inside the house, had a little accident and relieved himself of last night's meal via the normal procedure. I don't think that was an norm. Whilst my mum dozed in her room one of the dogs probably excited to be left inside the house had a little accident and relieved himself of last night's meal via the normal procedure. I don't think that was an accident. Oh yeah, you like poo dear? Yeah.

Is the original and best. My mum got up around 9am and headed downstairs for her usual cup of tea. Approaching the stairs she spotted the pile of poo.

Oh god. She believed that her cheeky grandchildren were playing another fake poo trick and not bothering to get the cleaning stuff. She simply bent down to pick up the poo with her hands, only to discover far too late that

this was no joke. Oh. Fantastic. Probably put it in her pocket. This story had us all gagging and laughing at the same time. Yeah. Why my mum told us what actually happened. This is the Sistine Chapel of fake poo pranks.

I'm sorry to your children. Because the world needs to align. Your children, 10 and 12, they're not going to get a better shot at that. That has gone so well. They'll be thinking about this when they're about 40. They're going, that's the best thing I've ever done. And I know Nick, you have aspirations

for your children that will far outweigh whatever you've achieved, but they will never get as good as that. It's all downhill for them. I'm so sorry, Nick. Yeah, it could be when a biopic of this particular event could start when the plastic poo is laid there and and some narrator just says you have no idea the wheels you've put in no it would be at the factory yeah it would be at the factory where they're just splurging out some old uh some old plastic yeah and then spray painting it One fake poo to rule them all.

And in the darkness, bind them. Brilliant. The dragon came and then burned it to crisp. Yeah, and on that pooey bombshell to use Mr Alan Partridge's line, we should get out of here, Pete. Let's get out of here. Hello at LukeandPete.com to get in touch. We'll look forward to speaking to you

on Monday. Have a lovely weekend. Weather's getting warmer. Everything's right with the world have a great weekend and we'll see you on monday please put a penny in our man's hat or a plate poo this was a radio Stakhanov production.