The Luke and Pete Show - Episode 18: Turning 27

Episode Date: October 2, 2017

A generation-defining episode, a coming-of-age if you will. We've hit 18! Lots to get excited about here including a very special guest familiar to those who attend the Luke and Pete parish regularly.But don't fear all the change, there's still plenty of old favourites to sink your teeth into - IT'S BEEN, crap jobs (including a monumental 'I quit' story), Mencarta and lots, lots more.Validate us, give us new ideas or generally moan about something here: [e-mail] Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We've come of age. Episode 18. We can drink. We are officially adults. We are now responsible for all of our own decisions. Terrifying. Those wolf-eared among you will have realised that I am not in fact Pete Donaldson. He is away. The beast in the east, the best dressed in the west. He's currently on his holidays. And so to commemorate this episode 18 achievement, I thought we'd bring in a very, very special guest. Now, Pete will be back. Well, I'm as sure as I can be that Pete will be back next week. But until then, we have someone I'm delighted to be joined by.

Please welcome Ben Bailey-Smith, a.k.a. Doc Brown. Come in, come in. That's very nice, isn't it? Yeah. It's weird because you said it like there was going to be a round of applause there. Yeah. It's just silence.

When Pete's away, we are going to have to apply all audio tricks afterwards. So if you want me to, I can drop them in. It's not a problem. Yeah, that would be great. Just imagine that happening. It's a smattering. Much like when you go on stage doing one of your comedy shows ben imagine the applause yeah and you'll and you'll feel a lot better about it so you know i listened to the

last episode i'm sure pete was saying he was just in japan yeah he it's a bit of a tricky one there again the problem is as i said to you i'm as sure as i can be that he'll be back next week but i think a lot of people think the stuff that goes on with Pete is like an affectation and he's not really as mental as people think

he might be I know the man yeah he is he is so he's not here this week he will I think he'll be back next week in fact I'm fairly sure

he will be but you never know so I've brought you in last minute safety precautions yeah exactly and presumably you've heard the show before

yeah I was I was a fan heard the show before yeah i was a i was a fan from the start really because um you know i mean people that that know your other pod will know that i've been closely involved in that over the past year or so too um so and the first the first person i met was was was pete you know so i was i was an avid fan. And then also, you know, you've got your little intro and outro music. It's actually some music from my very own album. You are the man who brought the theme tune and gave us the credence that we probably don't really deserve. As a result, this is your reward.

You get to be on the show. Yeah. No, I like that. I like that. You know, it's always nice to be on something that you're a fan of because, you know, it just sort of keeps that showbiz wolf of not wanting to be there at the door. Yeah, true, true.

I get that. Somewhere I actually am very much enjoying being. I'm tempted, Ben, to say it takes a lot of planning to make something sound so slapdash. That isn't true. That actually is not true. So don't feel like you can't be as slapdash. That isn't true. That actually is not true. So don't feel like you can't be as slapdash as you want. I mean, that is the name of the game.

I mean, the highlight clearly is the It's Been jingle, right? Oh, yeah. I mean, I loved that from the start. I wasn't familiar with the song, but Pete's rendition of it before, I think the first time he referenced it, he just sang it, didn't he? Yeah.

And then it was played in later and it was remarkably close to what the vocal sounded like on the track. It was. But ever since, he's never sounded... It was at the start, but the man's not been able to rekindle the old magic. Yeah, it's weird, isn't it?

Yeah. The first couple of times he did it, it was like uncanny. Yeah. And since then, it's just like... Do you want to hear it now? What, the actual jingle? Well, you can't have Pete.

Listen, not Pete. I thought maybe you had a little snippet of Pete doing it when he was doing it well, you know, back in the sort of golden era. I don't have it because I'm not that interested. Not even Pete is that egotistical to record himself, to my knowledge. To my knowledge. So we don't have Pete's version, but we do have the actual jingle. So I'll drop it in now.

Okay, cool. It's been. What do you think? There you go. What's it like to hear it in your own ears? Yeah, that's a beautiful thing, you know. Now I really feel like I'm here. I really feel like the pod has started.

Actually, you know what? I came bearing gifts, you know. Oh, go on. I just remembered, yeah. I've got some gifts from a family member family member actually for a family member of yours see listeners at home well i'm sure you'll know that that that luke is married but maybe you don't know that luke is actually married to a hot nerd this is very this is very touching which is a lot of you know that's a lot of little guy's dreams yeah well it's down with a hot nerd

i am listen ben i'll sit opposite you during the day and i go home to my hot nerd at night i'm living the dream i'm living the dream and on the shelf in the kitchen she has what it's a collection of sand she's a geologist by trade so it's a collection of sand yeah and you saw that all over the world indeed from everywhere and you saw that and you said i'm going away in a few weeks time and and we will bring you back some sand and i thought it was one of those things that pals say to each other but never actually pull through with. You've actually done that. If I can do anything to help, let me know. One of those ones.

Just say it. But, yeah, to be fair, to be truthful, it wasn't really me. It was my daughter. She is very thoughtful like that. And she's got some sand from Calaya Beach in Spain on the Costa Brava, which was absolutely beautiful. You can see it's quite rugged. It's a little bit like Rice Krispies almost. Yeah, and on top it says her name.

That's fantastic. And do you know what? This sand, let's get in. What's the other one from? This one is some grey sand from Bantry on the southwest coast of Ireland. Again, very different. This is also excellent. Is that a Tic Tac case?

That is an oversized tic-tac case that uh she was very excited by that we picked up i think i appreciate i appreciate the sand i appreciate the vet the vessel one thing i wasn't planning to get into this because we're now into it's been and we should be talking about what we've done this week yeah that's true sorry no no no no but i very much appreciate just quickly one thing that is fascinating if you put a collection of sand next to each other from beaches all over the world what you notice is that um there's um there's a huge difference a huge discrepancy between um different levels of sand different types of sound different beaches and that's to do with the age of the beach now i'm not an expert

my wife is the expert but hopefully i'm not doing her a disservice by saying this and so this one here from from the spanish beach very, very large sort of sand, almost like miniature pebbles, really. And the one from Ireland is a lot finer, which would suggest an older beach. But it's so stark. It really is. So break this down then, man. Like this particular beach is the one we spent the most time on.

But literally, I'm not exaggerating, a six six minute walk up the uh coast there was a beach with fine well yellow sand i can i can i can't break it down for you but what i can tell you is another example of that is that down in dorset there's um there's charmouth beach i'm not charmouth beach sorry there's a dirt or door beach and there's a beach next to it and it's only separated by a rocky outcrop where the famous dirtdle Door is, which is an area of geological interest anyway on the Jurassic Coast. The sand between those two beaches, which is no more than a 30-second walk away, is completely different. And I can't tell you why.

Maybe our listeners can tell us why. Get in touch. I hope so. Hello at LukeandPeteShow.com So, yeah, it's been. It really has been. But thank you for the sound. I'll pass it on. No, it you for the sound I'll pass it on

I'll shake it make sure Mrs Luke takes a photo because raising a nerd she would just love to have photographic proof that it's been delivered I will absolutely do that it's a very nice surprise to start the show off on it's been

I think I've got something of interest um but i want you to go first because you're the guest of honor so you're very kind you get involved well it's been my birthday week right yeah so i turned 27 for the 13th time the age well listen careful that's the age of the rock star death luckily we all know you're lying and um yeah it's been an extravagant few days. I'm not going to lie. I was actually taking my daughter to school, and you know the free time out you get on,

was it Tuesdays or something? I was flicking through it, and I saw they were having a screening of Jaws on a boat. Wow. On the Thames. Like it. Like on the eve of my birthday. So you're snapping that up?

Oh, mate. I just bit the hand off and got down there, Like it? Like on the eve of my birthday. So you're snapping that up? Oh, mate. I just bit the hand off and got down there half full. I just thought I'd imagine it'd be rammed. Huge inflatable screen, little bar, champagne. Where specifically was this? We went down to St. Catherine's Dock. Okay. And then we got the boat to Big Ben, moored up there, watched the movie, and then we got the boat to Big Bend

moored up there watched the movie and then went back and it's just you know like my mate said he's like dude that's like

showing it in a clown college do you know what I mean it was just it was perfect there was moments where the sky sunset in the movie

matched the sky behind the screen you know and other moments where seagulls would take off on the screen and then seagulls would fly up from behind the screen you know in other moments where seagulls will take off on the screen and then seagulls will fly up from behind the screen

do you know what I mean it's proper four dimensional shit that's I was loving it I've seen I've seen footage of people watching them in their

in their swimming costumes in their swimming shorts on like inflatable donuts in like a water park what which is even more of Jeb

was this in Atlanta? Because everything's in Atlanta. Probably, yeah. But you were just on a boat. I was just on a boat, yeah. I was fully clothed. Talk to me about seasickness. You know what?

The Thames currents are actually remarkably strong, but there are times during the day where it's super calm. So I didn't even really feel any movement. In a way, I wanted a bit of movement. Yeah. I almost wanted a bit of rain. Yeah. I know what you mean. Just a little bit did and when was the last time you watched yours

before that well that's the other thing it was you know when you know when you just feel like this is perfect timing you know when you're just flicking through the channels and something starts you think i haven't seen this for ages well i'm talking about jaws but jaws i i don't think i've watched in full for over a decade because it's's always on. It's often on ITV2. And it's one of those films you can watch 10 minutes of quite happily. Let me tell you something. It's always on ITV2. Always.

Always starts at like 11.45pm on a weeknight. No one can get involved. No one can watch the whole thing. And it's Jaws. So you're not really going to make the effort to record it and then watch it on your phone. No, no, no. It's Jaws. It'll come around again.

So I've really taken that film for granted for some time and watching it in its entirety and actually properly concentrating, you know, phones off and that. Yeah. There's so many killer lines in it. I know. I know, right?

Throw away shit that you totally forgot about as well. Yeah, it's tightly written. It's tightly written, but interestingly, even though you're 100% right, it's tightly written, it's compact, there's no flab on it.

There are the beginnings and ends of scenes that you just wouldn't have in a modern day movie. Like there's one where he's rushing down Brody to the beach and there's just some old man, I don't know what he's doing, he's got like a trolley, he's got some shit on the trolley

and he's like pulling it out of a shop on the main thoroughfare and Brody sort of runs into him, and he just garbles some shit at Brodie for ages, and he's like, yeah, look, I'll deal with it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That didn't need to be there, but it just adds to the real feel of it.

It feels real, considering the special effects which everyone always goes on about. That movie feels real. Well, I think the trick is on that, I mean, not an original thought, but the trick is that they just don't show the shark, right?

They show it when they need to, but they don't show it all the time. And it's almost similar to Alien, right? Where they just don't... It's the idea in your mind what it could be. And that's why it's so effective. But Roy Scheider's an absolute dude

in that film. Oh, he's fantastic. Yeah, I think it goes underrepresented. Just a granite face, man. Like, incredible. But when you think... I'm not necessarily putting him in this bracket, but just to illustrate a. But when you think... I'm not necessarily putting him in this bracket,

but just to illustrate a point. When you think about, right, classic actors from... Not the golden age of Hollywood, because I understand that was a bit before then, but maybe the second golden age, if I can call it that. People will say, like, Steve McQueen,

Paul Newman, Robert Redford. Scheider was an absolute dude as well. Yeah, and he was under the radar. You're 100% right. And Jaws, in a way, didn't help because Dreyfuss was considered something very special and he is something very special in that film. And also Robert Shaw gives one of the performances of his life as Flint.

So it's a bit tough because they're both like, you know, Dreyfuss is this uber nerd, like really sort of frantic. And then Flint's this is a crazy motherfucker do you know what I mean and Brodie's got to like pull it all together and try and stay calm

so he hasn't like Schneider hasn't really got like a huge performance to give he's got to give a smaller performance but it's something special as well I think it takes a confident great actor with a good appreciation

to realise that these guys are going to do what they're going to do. I need to be the guy at the base of the ball. You know what I mean? Just pulling the strings, doing the bit. I think it's fantastic. What else did you do? Listen, we're not going to get any new listeners

by talking about how good yours is. So what else did you do for your birthday? For your 27th? Yeah, well, you know, in your 20s, you want to... What did you do in your 20s? What did you do for the 27th anniversary of a 27th birthday? You know what? I got really lucky because a friend of my wife's

was also turning the similar milestone of 27. And her fella did this big thing, almost like a wedding kind of deal, where he was like, we've booked some rooms at the uh the corinthia which is like one of the best hotels i've ever seen in my life um please join us it's gonna be some activities during the day and a meal in the evening i was like oh that's that's really nice but that is gonna cost me yeah an arm and a leg yeah and i have to go yeah do you mean so there's a little part of me that's a bit like,

ah, yeah, I'm sure this will be nice and stuff, but it's a bit of an ask, isn't it? Let me put something out there. I mean, I'm not having a go at you because, you know, you're a guest here and you're very welcome. I don't particularly care an awful lot for people who got over the top

on their birthdays. Oh, yeah. Is that fair? No fair no no i'm exactly the same i mean you know me every year i just get a venue and just get some djs and we just dance yeah i don't want to stop for speeches no i don't want it none i don't really believe in that anyone else who does it if they're inviting me you know great you know because i can just come and enjoy it this one i was feeling that pressure of the bill yeah and you know one great, you know, because I can just come and enjoy it. This one, I was feeling that pressure of the bill. Yeah.

And, you know, one of the staff was telling me, like, the penthouse of it, like, the whole top floor is actually basically on a long-term rental to Tom Cruise. Oh, right, okay. Yeah, yeah. So it was he there? I didn't see him, but... He did his own stunt? Just around the hotel?

It's that kind of gaffe. It's just beautiful. Just unbelievably. And I had a great time and did that typical thing, which I always do whenever I'm in a really amazing hotel. Like, I get way too overexcited. And then I end up spending about five hours in my room because I stayed up drinking for too long.

Right, yeah, yeah, yeah. We'd organised with my mum to have a yard sale in Wilsdon the next day. Back to us. So I just quickly get out of there. I didn't really get to enjoy the room, which was spectacular. But what was amazing was the next morning this girl whose birthday it was, her fella goes

because I was like, do you know what I mean? Just let me know the details. I'll make sure I get the cash into your account if you covered it. Or just do I need to get the bill from the concierge? He's like, mate. Paid for. Paid for? For five couples, bro. They're mad.

They are mad. Five couples. Yeah, they are mad. Just if I can turn this to another little bit more of an awkward territory after just saying I don't really like big birthdays and stuff. I was invited to your birthday. Let me work this out.

I was invited to your 24th birthday. Yes. Yes, I remember it well. Why wasn't I invited to this one? What? Was I invited? Definitely. Why wasn't I invited to this one? What? Was I invited? Definitely. Probably the WhatsApp group

was too stressful because... Oh, yeah, I left. Yeah, yeah, because I just said, look, just RSVP and leave. And then people who didn't see that message

were like, mate, I don't want to be in this. I want to have your bants. I was like, mate, there's no bants. No. Literally, here's the invite. You're invited.

That's it. Yeah. Now leave. I'm not going to feel any way. And then there's other people like, mate, there's no bants. No. Literally, here's the invite. You're invited. That's it. Yeah. Now leave. I'm not going to feel any way. And then there's other people like, I'm really sorry. I'm going to have to exit. I said, don't apologise. It's literally the quickest way for me to get an invite to you.

So you've probably forgotten about it. I didn't apologise, did I? I didn't want an apology. No. I wanted people to RSVP and leave. Yeah. I don't need any more bants in my life. Like, WhatsApp is a headache.

Well, you've come to the wrong place then, mate. I'll tell you what. You wait to see what we've got lined up for the next couple of bits of the show. I'm telling you. So, birthday vibes for you. Yeah, great. What's been going on with you? Well, actually, I'm pleased you asked.

Because I'm going to give myself another one of those. It's been. It's been. There we go. I went to Istanbul last last weekend right yeah so i was there for a mate uh mate's wedding married a beautiful turkish girl had a great time first turkish wedding i've ever been to um i mean the great thing about weddings is they have their own all over the world as far as i know they have their little sort of foibles and their little differences but ultimately it's it's just the same. It's basically, let's get pissed.

Let's have a lot of dancing going on. Let's just eat a load of food. So it's very similar to that with a few different bits and pieces. But yes, I was in one of the most cultural and historic cities of all time. And it was fantastic to be there. But the one thing that sticks in my mind, and we mentioned this a little bit before we came on, because I wanted to get your feelings on it, is there was a special offer at heathrow terminal five right for pod parking uh and i never really do it normally because it's quite expensive what it means is

for those who haven't seen it um you drive and park your car and rather than go to the long-term long-stay car park and get a coach or a little bus that comes around once every 10 minutes with pod parking you park your car you literally walk about 10 meters to a little bus that comes around once every 10 minutes. With pod parking, you park your car, you literally walk about 10 metres to a little pod station, and this driverless car drives you to the terminal building. And it is incredible. Now, we had a little bit of a debate beforehand about this. Yeah, because I said I've done it.

Yeah, well. But then I wasn't sure when you were describing it more if it's changed since I've been on it. Well, look, it's not the first time I've made an idiot of myself on this show, but I think you're wrong. I think you thought it was on a monorail. That's what I thought, yeah.

Which is no more than a glorified DLR train or... Yeah, but it was a capsule for four, maybe max five people. Yeah, but the point is, it's a driverless car. No question it was driverless. It's just my question was, is it a car or like a private monorail carriage? No, it's not a monorail carriage because it's not on a rail. Monorail, one.

Mono, one. Rail, rail. Yeah. It's not on a rail. It's in a little drama thing. Was it raised? You know where you parked? Was it raised up?

It starts off at ground level and it goes up. It goes up. I've definitely been on it. I probably just viewed the, assumed the track was a monorail. Why don't you appreciate the world around you? Concent been on it I probably just viewed the fort assume the track was a monorail why don't you appreciate the world around you because I have children and when you're in a fucking pod with children rushing to get on a plane you just don't appreciate your world around you you're not taking any for your focus on everyone getting out alive yeah the other side alive well the

reason I want to bring up is because it wasn't it was a fantastic experience I got really excited as we've already mentioned my wife's a nerd she loved it as well and i want to talk to you then in principle i'm going to use this as a jumping off point i want to talk to you about driverless cars okay and because we're both of a similar generation um you know you're 27 i'm a little bit younger than that um i i am genuinely younger than you, so that's true. Three years. Yeah. But are we of the generation where we get nervous about driverless vehicles? Let me give you a little bit more context. I was reading fairly recently about an experimental trial where, I think it was in an airport in the US.

I don't think we've talked about this on the Luke and Pete show. Forgive me if we have, but I don't think we have, where the pilots and the airlines agreed to run a test where the autopilot would land the plane, so essentially the pilot would be there you're already shivering, but it gets more interesting than that

the pilot's obviously going to be there in case of emergency and all the rest of it, but they're just experimenting with the autopilot I guess and its capabilities, now from what I read, after a while they had to stop the the pilot scheme pilot scheme because um because the the the autopilot was so accurate the front wheel of the aircraft was hitting the same spot on the runway every single time and they had to they had to think about i'm not sure if they actually did but they had to think about replacing part of the

runway because it was hitting the same spot it was so reliable every time so it was starting to create some indentations must have been must have been yeah so they're more reliable than human beings and will the generation say your children's generation will they come up and get on a plane and see no no part driver see no plane driver and um and and not think twice about it yeah i mean mate that makes me just think about so many things first off i'm a natural coward so i get like i feel uneasy for those dudes who are like rolling along the street on their bicycles with their hands in their pockets yeah you know listening to music or whatever the youngsters i feel nervous for them because if you've ever fallen over with your hands in your

jeans pockets yeah it's not pretty terrible yeah if you do not pretty picture and if you're doing it at 15 miles an hour it's even worse so i like i feel paranoid about that um let alone like just going yeah machine deal with it like my iphone does some stupid shit every day and it's supposed to be like a computer in my hand yeah you know so I'm just not sure. If you start mass producing shit like that, that it can be 100% safe. But I think you're right. I think that's probably a generational thing.

Maybe the younger generation has a bit more faith in technology than we do. Let me give you a scenario then. You're going on holiday with them. So actually, make it easy. You're going on your own. You're going away to work or whatever and you get to the airport

you get to the gate and they say good news Mr. Brown Mr. Bailey Smith whichever one you use when you go travelling I don't know we're not having a pilot today

it's all done automatically so you're flying to I don't know you're flying to Spain it's a couple of hours the plane's going to fly itself so you know get on

make yourself comfortable enjoy the flight I mean and it's a couple of hours. The plane's going to fly itself. So, you know, get on, make yourself comfortable, enjoy the flight. I mean, what do you do? Like, the thing that could maybe balance the anxiety out for me is a conversation I had in that self-same hotel that I mentioned earlier with one of these guys you know i'd not met these guys before but one of them had a very close friend who was a pilot and he told me some pilot stories that just made me go cold in terms of how little some of them really sort of pay

attention to anything once once you've got in the coordinates and whatnot, I mean, you know, you've got to have two guys up there, right? Yeah. I think three sometimes. Maybe it's three. On long haul. On long haul, yeah. Maybe it's three on long haul.

He was saying to me, like, when this guy was in his early stages of piloting and he was always the junior, ages of of piloting and he was always the um the junior the the captain would would would come on get into the chair adjust it so that he was at a sort of 45 degree angle um tell him like 12 hour point give me a little nudge hat down over the face gone like the second he walked in and closed the door what because he's taking care of all by itself or because the other guy was doing it for yeah the other guy would get everything set up and then put it onto autopilot but the senior guy even though this guy is a junior guy he's not having much experience just come in just kip the first 12 hours don't wake me

up and i was like all right okay the other thing he told me that shocked me was that this guy this younger pilot his first job was with let me get this right Ryanair okay Ryanair

and he had to pay £20,000 of his own money right yeah to get through the interview process

and then train himself to start the job right £20,000 well that's how you can get a 50 quid flight mate £20,000 to get through the interview process and then train himself to start the job. Right. 20 grand. Well, that's how you can get a 50 quid flight, mate. 20 grand. Yeah, it's not for the pleasure of working for them. It's not great.

When I hear a pilot, I don't think I'm going to be interested in the scenario I've just given you, where I probably would be very, very worried about getting on the plane if there's no pilot. What I want from a pilot is I want a very reassuring voice on the PA system, and I want them to be paid well. Yeah, and that's the thing that scared me,

because underneath a certain brand of airlines, they're just fucking not. Yeah. Like, this dude, he was saying, like, the journey is getting like ryanair and then norwegians like a next step up but everybody's just trying to get to work for like virgin and emirates yeah okay right because they pay properly yeah but i want the reason i want them to be paid well is because i want them to genuinely care about doing a good job that's what i'm saying and if they lose the job it's a big deal for them that's what i'm saying i'm not i don't want the pilot to be thinking well if i lose this job i'll probably get i'll

just go and work in sainsbury's yeah that's why you want to hear that voice hey how you doing we're gonna be yeah exactly they tell you all those facts yeah i remember watching the seinfeld bit where he was talking about the those that little fact conversation where it's like you know we're gonna be cruising at 35 000 feet and you know we're gonna bank a left when we you know that that voice is telling him all the details and and jerry's just like yeah great do what you gotta do yeah he's like you know maybe i should be telling this dude um i'm gonna have um probably two bags of the peanuts because just keep them updated i'm uh opening up the entertainment

system and i'm probably gonna watch a episode of seinfeld um it's awkward when someone watches some fucked up shit on a plane yeah i look when the last time i flew to the states someone was watching wolf of wall street but in the in-flight entertainment or they have their own in the entertainment so you could see through the gap-flight entertainment. So you could see through the gap of my two seats. My daughter could see through the gap

and I just had to sort of cover up the gap because that movie opens with him snorting coke out of a woman's arsehole. See. And that's in a public place.

Yeah. Wouldn't you feel awkward watching that? I would. On a plane. But I've noticed that a lot of the planes I've been on recently

they have almost like a weird tint to the screen. So if you're at a slight angle, you can't see. So if you're at a slight angle, yeah, but that doesn't work if you're behind the person. If you're maybe behind the person and two to the right or two to the left, that's definitely the case. But if you're any closer in, you can see almost the whole ring. I've also noticed that they never... I've also noticed that they never used to show any movie that had any sort of aircraft incident in it, right?

Yeah, now they showed that Denzel film, didn't they? Yeah, they just have a warning sign now, in the in-flight magazine and before the film. Why would you want to watch a flight? I'm not having it. No way. I'm not particularly nervous about flying,. I'm not particularly nervous about flying, but I'm not having that.

Yeah, but you don't want to add stuff. No. Because if you think about flying too much, it weirds you out, man. Yeah. Of course, yeah, yeah, yeah.

We've had a big discussion on this show, as I'm sure you've heard about the ability of a pilot or perhaps the inability of a pilot to perform a barrel roll without anyone noticing.

Yeah, I loved that segment. Well, I'd love your take on that, actually. Just quickly, before we go to the break ahead of the emails, I'd love your take on it. Well, you know that segment. Well, I'd love your take on that, actually. Just quickly, before we go to the break ahead of the emails, I'd love your take on it. Well, you know what? I actually listened to that bit and then I checked

out the YouTube clip, or I was about to check out the YouTube clip and I got interrupted, but there's something about the drink not spilling, right? When he spun it around. You need to show more commitment to the show than that. That's point number one. Point number two, yeah, he pours an orange juice. I thought, oh, it's an iced tea. It's an iced tea. He pours an iced tea while he's doing the barrel roll. And to me, that's oh it's an iced tea it's an iced tea he

pours an iced tea while he's doing the barrel roll and to me that's all the proof i'm ever going to need and and look you know i've got perhaps a bit of a reputation for sort of denigrating our email contributors and i don't mean to do that all i'm saying is and they still keep going they do i know what i'm saying is you don't automatically know the provenance of who's emailing in. Of course. You and I both know. I could set up an email address now, email you, or email a show you're on and go, I'm a pilot. It's very unlikely I'm going to be tested on that.

But that's why the devil's in the detail. And we'll see when we get into some of the emails later. You read certain stories and you think, hmm, maybe. I like to think of the detail, you think. OK. But the thing is, Ben, I. I like to think of the detail, you think, okay. But the thing is, Ben, I think it's a bit of a sixth sense. I've done about 500 shows of everything, Ramblin' and all the rest of it now.

I think I can spot one. Oh, what, a fake one? Yeah. Like, who are my comedy stories? Yeah, I think so. I think they tend to try way too hard. I love our emails, I do. I just think it should be as high a standard as possible.

That's all I'm saying. That's all I'm saying. That's all I'm saying. All right, listen, we're going to talk a bit more after the break, including emails, and we'll try and fit in a main Carter section if we can. We'll be back just after this. We'll both look after Luke. We'll both look after Luke. If he feels sad about Mum and Dad, we'll both look after Luke. Welcome back to the Luke and Pete show with a very, very special guest,

Mr. Ben Bailey-Smith. People aren't... They're unlikely to have forgotten that you're on since the ad break. Yeah, so they're quite short, aren't they? Our listeners? No, they're a normal height. I always think when I first started listening to podcasts

and they say, we'll see you after the break, and then it'd just be like, and then they were back. I was thinking, what's the point in that? But then I realised once I became a

guest there's actually some of these pods record for like two hours you've got to have a piss or something

you've got to just have a break or freshen up I think I might have a little one in the middle of the show just

I mean not while we're broadcasting at the middle point freshen myself up just because Pete normally does your job on this show

doesn't mean you can act like him alright right we must have some emails coming up so let's have an Just because Pete normally does your job on this show, doesn't mean you can act like him, all right? Right, we must have some emails coming up. So let's have an email jingle. Okay, Luke, don't gunge me, mate. Pipe down, Pete.

I told you never to argue with the customers. There you go. What do you think about that one? Yeah, that's good. That's solid. It's good, isn't it? Yeah. To be fair to Pete, he's a man of many, many faults,

but he has found some great jingles for this show, and we thank him for that. Who's up first? I'm leaving the email section to you, Ben, because I want you to really own it. I really want you to own this part of the show, so you fill your boots, mate. Great. Okay, well, we've got a whole bunch of emails this week.

There's quite a lot on the crap jobs, which I think is one of those things that really, you sort of never forget, do you? It's like a really bad relationship or a teacher or something it sticks with you, we had some great crap jobs last week so I'm happy to continue that thread, let's mine that scene well there's a good list

of jobs that poor old Matthew here has had I don't know whether to what would you say that surname is X-U-E-R-E-B. Jureb? That's a junk email, mate.

Pronounce it as best you can. Matthew Jureb. I'm with apologies. He's going to know who he is, isn't he? He'll know. On that basis, yeah. I love the podcast, etc. Your request for shit jobs had me reminiscing at work today, and I compiled my five worst in descending order. I did all the below either before or when at uni in the 90s.

I was brought up in a town called Porchester. That's near where I'm from. Is that near you? Yeah, near where I'm from. The other side of Portsmouth is where I'm from, yeah. Nice place? No, terrible. Absolutely awful.

It says it's famous for its Roman Saxon castle and crap jobs. It's got a good castle to be fair. It has got a good castle to be fair. But that is the start and the end of its attraction, in my opinion. So here's his top five poor Chester crap jobs that he did with salary details as well.

That's important. That's great. That's why I like this. At five he worked at Smith's Crisps collecting bags of crisps into bin liners as they rolled off the line

presumably to Why are they putting them in bin liners? I know I thought it'd be boxes wouldn't you? No wonder Walker's won the war.

Do you know what I mean? Walker's won the crisp war for that reason. There'd be so much breakage. Do you remember how disappointing it was to open a bag of crisps as a youth

and half of it was just mush and just crumbs? What brand... There's satisfaction there. What brand typifies, what brand of crisps typify your childhood?

Salt and Shake. That was me. I ate a lot of frazzles as a youngster. Are they Smiths? They might be, actually. I think Salt and Shake are as well. Salt and Shake were definitely Smiths.

Yeah, okay. That's the craziest snack product I can ever remember. Yeah. Salt your own crisps. But to be fair, they were ahead of their time because now we're doing our own

checkout in the supermarket and everything. That's true. That is true. So yeah, he was collecting bags of crisps into bin liners as they rolled off the line.

One day I knocked myself out briefly by whacking my head on a low metal shelf. When I came to I was covered in bags of salt and vinegar squares which is possibly

one of my favourite crisps. If I was knocked out as I was coming round and I had to choose a snack to be coming round to that would probably be up there yeah with marshmallows

speaking of being speaking yeah it's just soft landing well the marshmallows could have stopped the incident happening in the first place oh that's true

speaking of being knocked out have I ever told you the story about my mate Jimmy who he went up for a stag weekend he's quite a hapless guy anyway he went up to

I think it was to Scotland for a stag weekend and he was they a hapless guy anyway. He went up to, I think it was to Scotland, for a stag weekend. And they said they're going to do paintballing. But of course, it'd be in a stag weekend the night before, I think they got fairly drunk and drink was taken and all the rest of it. And the next day, they lined up to paintball and he was feeling a bit hungover

and a little bit sort of, you know, you get a little bit sort of flaky when you're hungover and stuff. And so they got all their gear onto paintball. And he wears glasses and he didn't have any contacts with him. So the instructor at the paintball centre said, it's okay, just put the goggles over your glasses, that'll be fine. And you'll be fine.

So anyway, they ran out of the holding area into the theatre of conflict. And instantly his goggles steamed up. So he can't see where he's going. He can't see where he's going. All he can hear is the pop, pop, pop of paintballs. And the real jeopardy to paintball, for those who haven't done it, if there is anywhere out there in the world who's not done paintballing, is that it genuinely does hurt

when you get shot. Yeah, no, it definitely does. And that makes it better, right? Because you genuinely don't want to get shot. So he hears all this paintballing, pop, pop, pop. So he just runs as fast as he can to get away from it. And no word of a lie, runs full pelt into a stationary tank and knocks himself out. Does he break his glasses as well?

I don't know. If you've got a friend called Jimmy or Johnny, I think it's important that you give them a surname. They can't just have their own surname. So he's got to be Jimmy Paintballs. Yeah, okay, I'm up for that. He can be known as that from now on. I wonder if Matthew's ever worked at a paintball centre.

He never got to those heady heights. Number four was pick out substandard raisins on a factory. Ones that had stalks in that. I rarely bothered to exclude any to be fair. That was £3 an hour. That makes sense to me because whenever my mum got sun maids there was always one or two with stalks on them.

Are you thinking he should be paid per raisin? How much per raisin is the question? A penny per raisin. How much per raisin is the question? A penny per raisin. A penny per raisin. Yeah. It'd be like that pilot theory that you had as well. Like make him want...

Incentivise it. Yeah. Incentivise it, yeah. Number three is he worked in a cake factory up at 4am for the 6am to 2pm shift. Had to walk an hour to be picked up and then another 45 minutes drive to get there. I mean, don't do the job.

That's too much. Just the commute alone is insane. And he'd load cakes into an oven for eight hours. I still have scars on my arm 20-odd years later. £1.80 an hour. Not enough. Too far away. Your own worst enemy there.

Definitely, and it just gets worse. Position number two, making toilet brushes. £2.25 an hour. The guy next to me on the line used to lick them and laugh that not many people could say they'd done that. Yeah, because they're new, I guess. Yeah, because they're new. I mean, that's still the actions of a total deviant.

What a psycho. Also, sat watching car wing mirrors drop out of a mould for a similar pay rate. That's not a job, is it? Watching them. Just watching it. Jesus. Your mental health, you start to fear for your mental health after a while. And number one, putting

three screws and three washers on the elements of kettles on a factory line, seven and a half hours a day, um, for a whole year. £3.20 per hour. He says he used to nick four kettles a day, which he'd sell to compensate for the torture. Well, I'll tell you what, How is he selling four kettles a day?

That's not an easy... Four kettles a day? I would struggle to sell four kettles a day. Four kettles a week would be tough. Ding dong. Who is it? It's Kettle Matt again. No. That is a very, very low frequency item as well.

I bought a kettle when I moved into my new house four years ago. I've not changed my kettle since. Mate, I changed my kettle once and it's because on the day I opened it, I dropped it

and broke the handle. Yeah, well, you need to be pals with Matt. Mate, he's selling four kettles a day. This guy should be pushing keys of cocaine around the world.

How's he selling four kettles a day in Portchester? I know. Anyway, he says, last laugh was on me though as I now live in New Zealand

and make a shitload out of computers. Oh, very good. Yeah, yeah. Well done. Getting it in at the end.

Well done. Well done, Matt. Thanks for that. Yeah, cheers, man. Listen,

we've probably alerted the authorities of your under-the-table kettle distribution business. Ingo Halderson. Good name. Very strong. I love it when we've got,

for some reason, I love it when we have Scandinavian listeners. Don't know why. Where do you think he's from, Ingo? Scandinavia. Yeah, definitely somewhere around there. He says,

Hello, you were asking in the last episode about the worst jobs your listeners might have had. I'm a qualified teacher now, but in my time, I've had pretty much every job imaginable,

from coach, bus, taxi driving, to working in various retail industries pet shop, bike shop, bars and restaurants however my worst smelling at least job was working in Iceland maybe it's Iceland in a fish head drying factory well listen Ben

I'm going to stick my neck out here he's not travelled and commuted to Iceland to get that job has he he's probably already been there I mean we don't know young Ingo we don't know where he's going through this is very much chapter one the story of exactly who knows where it's gonna lead this is my this the reason i picked this email out is for this line which angered me slightly okay he says

uh he says my worst smelling job was working in an iceland in iceland in an iceland in iceland in a fish head drying factory you may may wonder what that is. No. No, Ingo. Yeah. I just had a wild guess. That part of your email is painfully clear. But it did exactly what it says on the tin. Ingo.

Dried fish heads to pack and send to Nigeria. Not only was this very repetitive, but it also stank. The worst time was when we came back to work after an Easter break, Thursday to Monday, to find all the product had started to Nigeria. Not only was this very repetitive, but it also stank. The worst time was when we came back to work after an Easter break, Thursday to Monday, to find all the product had started to rot. We spent a week finishing off old stock, and I can honestly say the smell stayed in our pores for the next weeks

and made all clothes, cars, and hair stink of rotting fish. Hope this makes you feel how lucky you are. Wow. I've had some terrible jobs myself. Yeah. There's a couple of assumptions in there. One, that we wouldn't know what a fish head drying factory did. And second, that we're just some clean-nailed numpties who just go from podcast to podcast,

getting served drinks by dogs' bodies. I mean, that does happen. But it's been a journey. Yeah, it's been a journey. I don't think, and of course, that is... I mean, that does happen. But it's been a journey. Yeah, it's been a journey. I don't think... And of course, as someone who's had, and I'm sure you're the same, in fact, I know you are, Ben, some terrible jobs myself, I don't seek to denigrate the existence of these

jobs, or indeed, of course, the people who do them. But there are some jobs that I think the sort of payoff is just way wrong. If you're asking someone to do that type of stuff, you've got to pay them well. They've got to be paid well. Otherwise, why is anyone going to do it?

There's always going to be something else out there you can do. Well, you'd hope so anyway. You'd hope that it'd be something else you could do for a similar price that wasn't that horrific. But, you know, sometimes it's needs must. And again, we don't know what was going on for young Ingo I mean for

for young Ben I like I think the job I hated most was probably I really hate retail work with a passion

what were you doing there I was in the menswear department downstairs so I had to wear like a rubbish suit every day and just like

is that why you still wear them now? I think what I hated about it was that you haven't just got your boss. Everybody's your boss. Every member of the public that comes in is your boss. And some of the public are dicks. They're going to be a dick to you. Plus, I was 17.

It started in a summer holiday. What branch was it? Marble Arch. Okay. Yeah. So it was like 17 it's like you know started in the in a summer holiday what branch was it marble arch okay yeah so you know it's pretty busy and whatnot my floor manager george was like he was like this kind of north london um greek guy who would just he was so upbeat but in like a weirdly aggressive salesman anyway right yeah so he'd be like come on come on mate every morning he'd be like oh you gotta stop leaning mate you got it's because i lean a lot you never go at me for lean how you gotta stop leaning man come on you're never gonna make senior sales with attitude right ben hey fucking i'm not not sticking around here and um i briefly went into,

when the job actually improved was when I got stuck into the warehouse where you get all the bits to come back onto the floor. Yeah. Because then I was just like with four or five other guys you can have to wear a suit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't even have a radio on.

Yeah. And on the shop floor, they just had the same tape going round and round, round and round, round and round. Well, back then it probably was, I mean, it's 90 minutes i mean it's good 90 minutes it probably was actually a tape as well it was a tape yeah round and round round around this is like 98 something like that yeah round and round round and round and it had two lighthouse family songs on it i don't mind them i'm being real i don't mind them i'm being serious and what in that kind of 90 minute tape you're there on what

8 hour shift if it's Ocean Drive and lifted I'm fine I'm fine with it is Ocean Drive the sky is so blue sun's gonna shine

on everything you do yeah yeah it's that one and lifted those are the only two I know yeah I mean I hate

I would maybe still to this day do physical damage if someone told me they were a member of that band like and they were just in front of me. Because I was traumatised by it.

It was like water torture. Yeah. But what made it worse was I came back, I went back to school and I came back for the Christmas sales. Yeah. And there was... Actually, no, I came back during my half term

and did a week and they were getting ready for the Christmas period and then I came back to do the January sales and what not and I worked over the Christmas period but in that October half term

they as they were getting everything ready they said Ben can you go and put the Christmas tape in right

in this little office in the back where they've got the microphone and because you know I was I don't know I was kind of outgoing. They used to make me do that speech at the end of the day, you know, like, gather up yours.

Is this your first starting rap? Maybe. Yeah. And I went in there. And what did he say? It was like in one of the drawers in the cupboard. I opened the drawer and there was like 45, 50 tapes in there. So at any point you could have changed the tape. And I was like, are 50 tapes in there. So at any point

you could have changed the tape? And I was like, are you fucking having me on? So the whole time I've been here and perhaps before I arrived, they've just had that fucking tape and no one's gone in and changed it. I was like, that is torture.

I was so furious. I put the Christmas tape on and for the rest of the day I was livid, right? And I used to go out with this girl all the time. You were so furious you did as you were told instantly. No, no, check this out. It's the most rock and roll, I was livid, right? And I used to go out with this girl at the time. You were so furious, you did as you were told instantly.

No, no, check this out. It's the most rock and roll way I've ever left the job. Okay. Right? At the time, I was going out with this girl who was living in Didsbury in Manchester. And it was such a... You know, in those days,

you couldn't afford the train and whatnot. I'd get, like, the Megabus or whatever, like, just to some, you know, the, the national express or whatever was cheapest. And, um, I left hers on a Sunday. I had to work the Monday morning, got the bus down.

It broke down in Coventry. And, um, I was like, it was the last bus. I was like, fuck, I'm actually going to be late for it.

I've still got to go to, what time was it? This was, I don't know. We got to Coventry, maybe half eleven midnight at night

ok right and then it took like two hours for a replacement bus to come so we were just hanging around in Coventry in the wee hours

horrific and I've still got to go to Wilsdon to my mum's house to get my suit and then get the 98 bus to Marble Arch

yeah I used to get the 98. It goes down Kilburn High Road. That's right, yeah. It's quite busy as well, that little strip. So I get into London at like half five, six.

That's awful. Get my suit, literally walk out. You know when you're just looking at your bed and you can't sleep in. Get my suit, get right back out the door,

get on the bus, go through the traffic, run off from the bus stop on like, on Oxford Street, into Marble Arch, pace, ping it downstairs,

I've missed like the morning meeting and stuff. And George is like, you're late. And I was like, bruv, seriously, not today. And the whole day I was just leaning and tired and i was like

off with the customers and he was like being off with me and that fucking christmas tape going around and at the end of the day you know about to close like five to seven i went in to make this speech and turn on the mic and i was like ladies and gentlemen um the shop's about to close so if you've got uh any any purchases you've got on your person now, please just chuck them on the floor and start stamping on them because they were made and designed by child slaves, essentially, probably somewhere in Bangladesh. Did this actually happen?

Yeah. Right. And just went into this rant. Yeah. And at the end of the day, this is an evil corporation that doesn't respect its employees, let alone the child slaves that make the clothes. And George came flying in

with the floor, the general manager as well. He was like, my floor manager. And he was like, you are finished. You are finished. He was like,

shut up, shut up. You are finished. Really? That is amazing. He was like that. And I was like, mate,

already quit. I just bowled out of there. I've've honestly i don't think i've ever done anything like that cool ever since i agree i didn't know you had that in you neither did i but you know i think it was like if a human being doesn't sleep they can become very dangerous either to themselves or other people yeah that is an amazing exit to what is you know to be fair

a perfectly reasonable job yeah I mean you just you just had enough I just couldn't take it I couldn't take it you're Michael Douglas in Falling Down

yeah yeah I totally lost the plot and then I was just back in the job centre the next day because my mum was always like if you're here

and you're a grown man I mean I was like 17 but still she was like if you're here and you can earn your way then you know you have to work absolutely loaf around my house no she was always like that which is good for me because it's given me a work ethic yeah but yeah i was back in the job center the next day and the next job i got was um proper like coffee monkey for like paparazzi some photo agency in edgeway road i'm surprised you even got another job, man.

The world would have got around by then. Yeah, I was all right. Edgeware Road is around the corner from Marble Hut. I don't think I got **** from the job centre. You know when you used to go in with your budget CV that you'd done on your word processor? I think it was one of those. They're always hiring those places, aren't they?

Okay, right, yeah. That's some exit. That's a great story. I've never heard that before never heard that before good for you i remember in the interview for they one of the questions was do you consider yourself attractive really fucked up wouldn't get away with that these days would they not at all no because i think they were thinking like we'll stick you in the front because you know when you go in those shots you always see like a really good looking girl or guy yeah but it's whether you think yourself yeah that's a weird question that just basically means you might are you egotistical or not or whatever.

Incredible. Odd, yeah. Different times, though, Luke. Different era. All right, coming next, we've got just about enough time to squeeze in Men Carter, keen as mustard to get Ben's opinion on this jingle coming up now. Let there be justice for all.

Let there be justice for all. Let there be peace for all. It's one small step for man. You don't understand. Willie was a salesman. Say simply, very simply, with hope, good morning. All right, have you got any comments on Neil Armstrong, Maya Angelou, or whoever else is on the jingle? Because this has been a bone of huge contention among not just Pete, but our listeners as well.

Why has it caused so much? Well, because we had the Arthur Miller death of a salesman. Yeah. I was screaming at my own device. Yeah, let me give you... When you guys were going, what's that from? Well, exactly, because the thing is... That's fucking Arthur Miller, come on. Yeah, no, but the way Pete... He even says his name, Willie Lomax. device yeah let me give you with that when you guys were going what's that from well exactly because the thing is

that's fucking unfamiliar come on yeah but the way Pete says his name Willie Lomax but the way Pete works well I'm not familiar with the play

so that is my own deficiency you know we can get into that as I've already said we are short of time so we're not but the way Pete works

is he just brings stuff to the table without telling you so Pete's not already a planner he just goes and does stuff and you have to go along with it it can be quite exhilarating

um and he brought that jesus delete as appropriate um but so he just brought that jingle to the table right and um it was the first time i'd heard it i was coming to it completely completely uh raw so we didn't know i didn't know after the death of ourselves but northern pete that's that's on us okay that's on us it just sounded cool yeah but it's the N Carter jingle right

so it's just part of it and the Neil Armstrong one is obvious and the Maya Angelou one we didn't know but loads of people did and got very passionate about it

because Pete said Pete called Maya Angelou that bloke that strange bloke I do remember now yeah she does have quite a bassy voice.

There we go. So that's why. So I'm pleased you haven't got any... She's also, you know, world famous. I know. I'm pleased you haven't got any things to say. That's fine. I like the we'll both look after Luke one.

Yeah. There's something really melancholy sweet about it. Yeah. But it does always make me think your parents have died horribly. Nah, yeah. I spoke to my wife about that and she said it was cute as well. It is cute. If he gets sad without mum and dad and dad will both look after him.

Yeah, that's the bit that makes me sad. Well, it's just because... It's like the beginning of a Roald Dahl book or something. Yeah, I know what you mean. But I enjoy it, basically because it says my name in it. Yeah, of course. And that's all I need, really. Of course.

Mankata. So, we've got... Listen, sadly, we can't go into huge depth about this, but I really want to include it anyway because it came to my attention earlier this week and I really want to include it anyway because it came to my attention earlier this week. And I really want to get your opinion on it, Ben, and hopefully get the opinion of our listeners as well. I'm going to introduce hopefully a guy into Menkarta called Stanislav Petrov. Now, this name may not immediately spring to mind to you, but let me give you a bit of background. Stanislav Petrov died in May of this year, but it was only widely reported in September, so this month.

He will forever go down in history as the man who avoided World War III. Now, to give you even more detail on that, he was working for the Soviet air defence forces in 1983. Tensions were, of course, very high between the US and the Soviets at the time, as you can imagine. And the nuclear early warning system of the Soviet Union reported the launch of multiple ballistic missiles from bases in the United States heading towards Russia. It was heading towards the Soviet Union, as it was at the time. Now, Petrov, I mean, talking about difficult jobs, by the way, talking about jobs that you don't really want to do for a completely different reason. The pressure in this job is unreal, presumably. Petrov correctly identified it as an error

and as a result almost certainly avoided World War III because the protocol would have been to immediately launch a counter-strike. Okay? And based on just that information, would there not have been some more due diligence whether it's spotting them on a radar or something like that? I can't believe.

When he was asked to explain the factors leading to that decision, he basically called upon his training and said it was essentially understood that any US first strike would be absolutely massive, and this early warning system was only reporting 5 missiles so he thought something's not right there I think that's an error, they wouldn't do that as a result of calling it a false alarm ok

imagine having that sort of clarity of thought under such pressure I mean you've not got the temperament for that after your experience not at all for all we know you could have been having a late night the night before there you go coming on nicely yeah and you're bombing everyone yeah i'll pop a couple surely stanislav stanislav horizontally stanislav deserves to be credited for that no question man

on this show and especially in the current climate you know with a couple of big babies going back and forth talking this shit you know

we need a bit more a bit more of Petrov around don't we yeah man he's a hero as always well this is the thing I was literally about to say

just that as ever with these types of people he said he wasn't sure if he could be regarded as a hero for what he did that day I mean people always say that don't they I've never heard anyone do something amazing and't sure if he could be regarded as a hero for what he did that day. I mean,

people always say that, don't they? I've never heard anyone do something amazing and go, do you know what? I am actually a hero. Yeah. Yeah,

it'd be so refreshing to, you know what? I think you're understanding it a little bit, man, because there's a lot of people calling themselves heroes. What I did was legendary. Yeah,

because you hear like of a man diving in to save a baby from a lake or something. No, seriously, anyone would have done it. I did what anybody would have done.

They always say that, don't they? I'd love someone just to go, well, do you know what? Point it to the baby and the mother. I'm a hero to you. I'm a hero to you. And if you're watching at home, I did a brilliant job then,

and I'm a hero to all you as well. And a lot of you pussies wouldn't even touch that water. No, so half of you can't even swim. Pathetic. Good old Stanislav. There's nothing to suggest that he has saved babies from a lake or anything like that but he saved probably it's not a stretch to say millions and millions of lives with that one decision how many of us can ever say in our lives

we're going to get into a position where one decision would affect so many different yeah i mean it makes you think about the sort of sliding doors butterfly effect massively, doesn't it? Because, you know, in a weird way, you could say he changed the course of world history. Yeah, he did. Because of that decision. Because if it had gone the other way, then Jesus, who knows?

But you can relate to this presumably because your lyrics are nuclear weapons, aren't they? Of course, they're very, very powerful. Mass destruction. It reminds me of one time I went out of town I had a show in Notts when I was young it was with this crew

of rappers what was the name of the crew? I don't want to get into it because you know but it was it was with a bunch of guys and only one of us

had a car right is that how you became a crew? I think that happens with a lot of crews I don't mean you need to be rapped do you know what I be wrapped I'm just saying if you're young

and one of your members has got a car that's a big reason to be mates how many of you are in it five I think there was

five in it definitely it was a tiny little tiny little car you're collective yeah what how many cars have you got just one car

we were going to Nottingham I'd never been out of town to perform before and so i was pretty excited but this is a rough rough bunch of boys and um once we were in the car everyone just had like weapons on them everyone's like now you know why i wouldn't want to name anybody

being serious yeah weapons right and um one of them was like doc what you got he had nothing they said no he says what are you bringing and i was like i was in my mind i was thinking the power of my rhymes obviously i didn't say that i was like what bruv like you got nuts like i'm gonna be in the car and you don't got weapons like now i'm an accessory yeah they were like oh okay you're one of them like so they just gave me some cs gas a bit serious yeah a little bottle of pepper spray. That was my CS gas impression there. Do you remember that?

That was good. Yeah, thanks, man. Strong. Actually, some of that did hit my eye and sting. Sorry about that. Yeah. And I kept it. I kept it for years.

In fact, I was clearing out my office, and I found the can of it. It was, like, long expired. I had an expiry date on it. It was long expired. I missed it. I was like, what the fuck? I had to get that out of the house. I love the idea of that. Oh, I would spray you with this, but it's out of it. It was like long expired. I had an expiry date on it. It was long expired. I'm just like, what the fuck? Is that to get out of the house? I love the idea of that.

Oh, I would spray you with this, but it's out of date. It must still be lethal, right? Yeah, I guess so. Listen, hello at the Luke and Pete show if you're aware of the chemical makeup and machinations behind CS gas.

Yeah, like when it's expired, does it get less? Is it better? Less painful? You'd think it would be worse. It would still hurt. Yeah, it'd be worse. Maybe it was because it's expired, does it get less? Is it better? Less painful? You'd think it would be worse. It would still hurt. Yeah, it'd be worse. Maybe it was because it's worse.

So you went up to Nottingham. Yeah. And it went off. Everything passed off without incident. Yep. Thank Christ. Because, you know, like, a fight is just a fight. But if someone's got a weapon, then you never know how that shit's going to end.

And I'm just not built for that shit at all. No. Like I say, I'm a natural coward if there's any way I can avoid imminent physical danger I'm gonna do that yeah

I'm gonna do it at whatever the cost whatever the cost whatever the talk is afterwards unless it's in a pussy you're this

you're that I will happily take that you could have taken physical punishment in yeah I mean George could have flown at me

and he was he wasn't a big guy. He was sort of built like CeeLo. Right, okay. Kind of like a human grapefruit type. But he is a big guy but in a different way than you. Yeah, so he could have like,

he could have like bulldozed me. If he charged into me I would have gone down. I don't know what that grinding sound is but in the background That's my teeth. I'm really sorry. It might be people trying to get into the studio

to stop Ben bringing so much real talk. I'm pleased it passed off with that incident, the Nottingham trip. Yes, so am I. And did you guys have any further

incidents? Did people take weapons to other trips out of London? Oh man, there was some incidents I would never be

able to talk about on radio but yeah, like all sorts of crazy shit but we can talk about that in private. I hope to tempt you back to get a bit more on that

listen it's been great to have you on Ben thanks for standing in for Pete it's not an easy job the man is a total loose cannon and you've provided some much needed stability

to proceed thanks a lot but it's been great if you're listening at home and you want to get in touch hello at lukeandpeatshow.com I think Pete's going to be back next week

in fact I'm fairly sure he will be but if not I might try and tempt Ben back in as well what do you think Pete's going to be back next week. In fact, I'm fairly sure he will be. But if not, I might try and tempt Ben back in as well. What do you think he's doing right now? Right now? Speaking of things you can't say, this will be... What time is it? Judging by... In Osaka.

I reckon it's getting on for midnight. So it could be anything. But judging by his Instagram output, I mean, it literally could be anything. That is true. But hopefully we'll have him back but if not if not Ben you are more than welcome to step

back in at any time thanks like I say hello at lukeandpetecher.com we should go because it literally sounds like someone's

trying to grind their way into the room yeah what the hell and I'd like to find out what it is to be honest Ben say goodbye

please goodbye and it's goodbye from me too and I'll see you next week for episode 19 wow And it's goodbye from me too. And I'll see you next week for episode 19. Wow.