The Luke and Pete Show - Episode 187: On the dhole

Episode Date: July 22, 2019

50 years ago last weekend, Apollo 11 touched down on the lunar surface and the men within it made history. Luke and Pete take some time to celebrate that before Pete then takes it down a 'plane crash videos on youtube' angle, predictably. After that, a listener gets in touch referencing an animal Luke had never heard of before, another listener blows our minds with a theory about Bryan Adams, and Pete refuses to accept the existence of one of the finest 80s toys - the fabled Mercury Maze. Luke had one ok? Deal with it. ***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

yeah boy oh it's sweaty in here and it is sweaty episode 187 i've been waiting for this for a while because the california penal code oh defines section 187 as the crime of murder hence a load of 90s uh rappers talking about 187 this 187 that's crime of murder hence a load of 90s rappers talking about 187 this, 187 that. That's where it comes from. Nice. Five-0 coming. The number 187 has been used by gangs throughout the United States and elsewhere as a synonym for murder. I would

like to congratulate whoever recommended the TV show Detroiters to me featuring Tim Robinson, a man who I recently discovered on Netflix doing the I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson. Which is who I recently discovered on Netflix doing the, I think you should leave with Tim Robinson, which is fun. It's fantastic.

He's got a two series. The bones are their money. Yeah. Oh man, I can't get enough of that. And he did a series with the other guy who was in that TV show. I think you should leave with Tim Robinson and also Veep, the silly bloke who

just can't get anything right he is in the TV show and they play like kind of like add-ins agency guys

classic TV show I love runs for two seasons and gets instantly cancelled that's how it works

but Amazon Prime is on there and I bought both series and it's fucking fucking brilliant. Stop swearing, Peter.

No. There's no need for the naughty... Want a bit of this? Yeah. I think this should run under the whole show. I just... It makes me want to look

into a camera and put a smile. It makes you want to sell something on QVC. Yeah. We'll be back with Steve Watley who will be... Do you remember Steve Watley?

No. Leave this. Don't turn this off. Do you remember Steve Watley? He was a QVC presenter of the sort of mid-90s, who used to sell kind of like... His brand was Zuz. He used to talk about zuzing something up quite a lot.

Oh, yeah, yeah. So he kind of adopted that as his thing. He was like, all right, then let's zuz something up. Right. And he was kind of very... Did he speak a lot. Oh, yeah, yeah. So he kind of adopted that as his thing. He was like, all right, then let's judge something up. Right. And he was kind of very... Did he speak like that? A little bit, yeah. I think he...

Or maybe he talked a bit like this. Actually, I think he might have talked a bit like this, actually. Okay. He was a bit Dale Winton, and he got in trouble for being accused of licking a lady. Oh, dear. Yeah. I think he might have killed himself.

That's tight. I think he killed himself. Bring that to a crashing halt. Steve Whatley. Did he kill himself? Pete, can you bring that bed back in? Indecent assault shot. Well, I've moved on.

He was known as Gadget Man, Mr. Diamondique, Watters, and Mr. Zsuzs. He died in Hertfordshire, 46, and death... Yep, he was...

The Brick Diver's marriage five months earlier, after the licking, indecent assault charges, and then he committed suicide. Chilling. Absolutely chilling. Chilling. Absolutely chilling. On July 20th, 1969, 50 years and two days ago, the Apollo 11 lunar module, Eagle,

landed on the lunar surface. Oh, lovely old job. Had a little bounce around. Do you know what's quite interesting about that? Is that... Everything? They only stepped out on the moon, onto the moon, six hours after they landed.

I'd be chomping at the bit to get out there. Hang on, so they landed... They landed six hours later. They've got to do their diagnostics. I guess so, but six hours later. Do you reckon they'd be like, it's the end of my shift. Yeah.

I'm going to have a snooze. This is my union detects actual tea break. So I cannot work... Are you only got the unions now? Yeah, I am. Fuck them. Fuck them. Fuck everyone. Yeah. I'm going to have a snooze fart. This is my union detect actual tea break. So I cannot work. Are you on the unions now? Yeah, I am. Fuck them. Fuck them. Fuck everyone.

Yeah. Listen, they didn't get paid any extra money as we worked out. And we checked that out ages ago. But anyway, 50 years ago now. It's crazy. And then it's gone 50 years. And people haven't been back for a very long time, have they? Is it the Chinese are big on it?

I can't remember who's planning. I was at the Indians. You can tell a lot about... It's the Indians a bit weird, isn't it? The Indians. Sounds problematic, but I'm presuming it isn't. Especially over this bed. The Indians.

Do you know that I personally think it's a great litmus test, the type of person you're talking to, whether they believe that man went to the moon or not. It's a great leveller. Yeah, does anybody truly believe that or is it just like a really... What, it didn't happen?

I think it's like probably the oldest, what do you call those things? Conspiracy theories. Conspiracy theories that you ever sort of experience when you're

a kid. But it can occasionally absolutely blindside you because about a week and a half ago, I was with my mate and I'm going to name him. I don't know if he

listens or not, but I'm going to name him. My mate Blair Dunlop. He's a singer-songwriter, a song repute. He's from Music Royalty. He's Ashley Hutchins' son. Ashley Hutchins has been one of the main guys at Fairport Convention, Seminole British artist.

Anyway, he came round my house a week and a half ago or whatever, because we have a catch-up whenever he's in town, because he's always travelling around. He's like a troubadour, basically, but when he's in London, he comes and says hello. Anyway, I've never spoke to him about space travel before he's never come up

he's a perfectly normal person likes what he likes you would never think of him he looks quite cool as well and then all of a sudden

we're sat in the back garden having a drink and he says yeah I've got a real big problem with the moon landing and you think where's that come from

where is that come from it's such a basic, it is a quite a, again, it's one of your like, it's your entry drug, isn't it, to conspiracy theories.

Yeah. It's kind of like a, ooh. You think it's the stepping stone? I think it's your first smoke of cannabis resin. Yeah, it massively is,

yeah. It's the first, it's put in the microwave for five minutes and then, is it five minutes? How long do you put resin in the microwave for?

I never used to put it in the microwave. To soften it so you can cut it. Yeah. Maybe we just had particularly blunt knives in our house. What do you think about it? What do you think about people who think it? I think they are educationally subnormal. Yeah.

Unfortunately. They're just dreamers. They're just like, you know, I believe in things, but I don't believe in this particular nonsense. It seems inconceivable when you see the moon in the sky. You're like, how did we get there? That's crazy. That's crazy talk.

Do you think it's because people can't put their head around the actual achievement? How long did it take? I think it took 12 days, something like that, to get there, to do the thing and come back again or something. I think so, yeah. If we had a rocket now, how quick rockets are, I presume they're quicker now, how quick we would get there? Do we create a concord of rockets to get to the moon real quick? Well, there's talk of a

space tether, isn't there? Right. Possibly it's been mooted that one of the most efficient ways to get up into space is with a space tether. The thing is, when you talk about man in space now, men and women in space now, astronauts in space on the space station, all that stuff, that's only the thing is when you talk about man in space now yeah man and men and women in space now astronauts in space on the space station all that stuff that's actually

only near earth orbit it's not proper space it's not going to the moon you know um well here's something here's a paradox that i'd quite like people who are cleverer than us listening and that's everyone to to debunk is this right you're talking about about very vast distances to go, say in science fiction that people want to travel light years away. Loads and loads of distance away. Millions of miles away. Because I think the moon

is 250,000 miles away. So it's way past that. It's 10 times the circumference of the earth. Right, okay, fine. That's an interesting anomaly about the lunar eclipse, isn't it?

The moon is, I think, 400 times smaller than the sun, but it's also pretty much exactly 400 times closer. Nice. So that's why it matches up. Nice. Yeah.

Anyway, say you want to send a rocket ship miles away, and say it takes 50 years to get there. Okay. The paradox I've thought of in my own mind, which is probably easy to debunk, but I can't think how.

If you and I create a rocket that can get there in 50 years what's to say in 20 years time people don't invent one that gets there quicker which is there was

no points in the first one well don't they have to in most of those kind of space explosion things they have to

by the time that thing has already got to where it needs to be we are 20 years down the line of development. They have to start development. Like, there'll be rockets that are getting fired off now

that were developed 15 years ago. Do you know what I mean? So it takes such a long time to get everything sorted out anyway. So to add on that, yeah. But when you factor in the distances, which basically takes years and years to get somewhere, the progress is still happening on Earth, isn't it?

Yeah. I'm just saying at some point it's going to overtake it and you're going to ask me a point. I don't think it would overtake it at that speed, would it? We don't know, Pete. I don't know. The only difference between you and I here is I'm admitting I don't know. The fantasy in your head is like three men in a rocket,

or three women in a rocket, looking out the window and seeing one absolutely streak passing on. Well, that's a fucking shit show it's annoying that's annoying isn't it that's my life radioing back to base

hi guys no major issue but I think I've just seen a faster rocket yeah we weren't going to tell you I haven't seen my family for 12 years

what gives what's going on unbelievable and then mission control going sorry we're having a bit of a problem with the communication speaking then mission control going sorry we're having a bit of a problem with the communication

speaking of the moon landings sorry we're sorry we're let's do the rest of the show like this we can't really hear you in the

in the excellent BBC World Service podcast series which I think is called 13 minutes to the moon right they announced

in that that the average age of the mission controlled employee for the Apollo 11 moon landings was 15 appears. In that the average age of the mission controlled employee for the Apollo 11 moon landings

was? 15. Is that like the war? It was 15, yeah. They were 15 years old.

They were 27. The average age. And they killed themselves like the rock stars. No. Doesn't get no better than

that. No, they didn't kill themselves. I look at a lot of crash videos when planes crash. I know you do. I find it chilling. Yeah, it really is. I don't know why you do it.

Well, there was the Japanese guys and they crashed in the mountain somewhere and they were like, they were speaking in English because obviously the international language of air traffic control is English. Correct, yeah. And when they were under high stress, they would the international language of air traffic control is English. Correct, yeah. And when they were under high stress, they would switch to Japanese.

And they were like, Haneda was going, don't worry, you can speak, continue to speak Japanese. And they were like, fine. And then they just instantly smashed into a mountain. Why are you telling me this? I can't remember. Because it sounded a bit like this. Oh, okay, right. Moshi moshi.

So if you are flying. I'm fucked. because it sounded a bit like this. Oh, okay, right. Moshi moshi. So if you are flying... I'm fucked. If you are a German flying an Italian airline over South America, it's all English. It's what?

It's all English. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The whole thing is English. It's fun. Yeah. There's a brilliant book about it called Skyfaring. I talked about it on the show before,

I think. It's worth a read. Beautifully written. Just to change trains... If you ever want a little bit of if you ever want we were talking about Megan Rapinoe and also men

who think that they could win a fine job a while ago if you ever want to see the detritus of male fragile ego just go into the comments when a plane crash has

happened in the in the air traffic control conversation that I'm having. Could you please ascend to somebody's feet? And he's going, yeah, no, my plane's fucked. I'm going down. See you later.

And the co-pilot is usually screaming. I'll go, fucking hell, Charlie, get the fucking co-op. Go on. Why are you listening to this? What? Why are people uploading this?

It's fascinating. It's just absolutely fascinating to listen to people's final words while they're just trying to fucking write a really wrong ship and then them coming out the other side and realising that it's all for nothing and we are but meat.

I think you might need... Help. Yes. I'm going to give you the number of someone you can talk to. You don't know any. I don't. But, yeah, and it's fascinating

and the people, number of someone you can talk to you don't know any um but uh yeah and it's fascinating and um the people the and they are all men uh in the comments going well he should have done this and he shouldn't have been screaming and he shouldn't have been screaming as his plane hits the fucking hangar that's amazing 150 miles an hour he should not have been screaming like that he should have kept a cool head mate yeah absolute fucking bellend so there's that aspect as well just enjoying kind of armchair fucking

aeronautical enthusiasts giving it the big hits it reminds me of from their fucking wank chairs I think it was Kevin Hart

the comedian who was on Joe Rogan right and they're talking about internet haters yeah and then they talked Kevin Hart

I think it was Kevin Hart so they used to have a real problem with it, used to get him down, et cetera, et cetera. And he said, I think he said something like, And then Joe Rogan

mentioned some UFC. No, he said, I woke up one morning and thought, do you know what? Michael Jordan's my hero and Michael Jordan ain't comment on

no YouTube video. Fuck it, fuck it. Yeah. Those people, I mean, what are they doing? Is it not, I just assumed

that half of them would be bots or something. No, they're pretty. If you're ever on a video that has some repute or it has a large amount of comments, obviously I do a bit of work with the Broad in Japan, and he's a fairly well-known Japanese vlogger. Do people still say vlogger? Yeah.

Okay, cool. Fair enough. You'll never catch me sleeping, bro. Cyber vlogger, yeah? say vlogger? yeah okay cool yeah fair enough you'll never catch me sleeping bro cyber vlogger yeah cyber vlogger on the interwebs yeah

and like just the how many people just the just the the vast proportion of people like how many people actually comment on YouTube videos there's a whole

it's not something I've ever done because I don't need anybody to know what I've been looking at on YouTube, to be quite frank. No. Yeah. I don't want to even be logged in. Incognito mode.

Mate, just changing trains really quickly before we go to emails, because I wanted to bring this to the table. Guardian website do a section, a regular section, called, Are You Doing It Right?

And it's part of their health and well-being section. And... Are you watching and are you watching videos of air traffic control are you commenting on YouTube right and the one I saw

last week which I wanted to bring to your attention is how to chew your food properly okay and I've got a feeling Pete Donaldson

that you're a man I don't chew my food properly I think you're a man who just chucks it down um maybe yeah I guess so I don't really know well apparently digestion starts in the mouth okay but rather than advising an absolute number of times to chew your food

this nutritionist recommends people put their food or cutlery down between mouthfuls then when you're finished chewing and swallowing pick up your cutlery and take the next mouthful i'm a slow eater so i reckon um i'm banging banging to this because people just hoover up their food i'm very very slow very methodical i'm a bit of a chatter apparently apparently science says i'm always a little bit skeptical of nutritionists but i don't really because i don't fully know what their qualifications are and also and also you can make a bit of money doing it whenever there's money where there money, whether there's gold or whatever, there's muck that's for us.

Like dieticians and stuff. Anyway, but the thing that was really interesting about this article is saliva contains this thing, which I think is pronounced amylase, which is an enzyme that chemically breaks down food. Well, listen to this. I didn't know this. Very little carbohydrate gets broken down in the stomach.

Right. And if the food gets there without being properly digested, it means your stomach has to work a lot harder. Now, I think, and I'm really into the lines here, but I think this is why you get tired after you have a meal. So if you chew your food, when you get a lot of bread in you, chew the bread properly, and you won't feel as tired after you've eaten it.

Yeah, but I mean, yeah, I am a very slow eater. I'm not very quick. But yeah, wolfing you. Maybe I'll have a crack at not wolfing it down quite so quickly. Let's write this for the synopsis notes later. Don't eat food quickly. Chewing food. Let's have a little ad break.

All right then. When we come back, I want to talk to you about an animal I've never heard of before. Okay then, fine. okay then fine do you know the sounds there at Live Aid that was I think that happened

last weekend the weekend before last that video was being shared a lot on Twitter because it was the anniversary of it anniversary yeah

was it like a weird one like the 16th or something well 26th or whatever rather than like a big one yeah I think it was it was in 85 right we seem to

yeah 34 years yeah we seem to kind of like celebrate weird centenary weird birthday it's because the internet

is fuelled now by people trying to give angles to content to get it out there to share their own message I've just noticed Luke you've got a big line across the front of your shirt

is that a new shirt it's been folded. What are you talking about? Yeah, you've got a line there. I suppose because I had it folded up in the drawer. I thought it was a new T-shirt. No, it is fairly new. I was trying to get us off the live head.

Peter, I said before the break, I want to talk about an animal I've never heard of before. This is part of the email section, of course. Hello at LukeandPeteShow.com to get in touch. Dan's got in touch. Yes, Dan. And he's talking about something we mentioned on episode 178, which is about the human consumption of chicken's feet.

So I think this might have been when you went overseas or something, and we were talking about how there can't really be anything of taste or nutritional value in chicken's feet. So why don't they serve them up and I understand it's because in some parts of the

world you know you should make the most out of every bit of food you've got I get all that I reckon you probably put it all in your mouth and just crunch it because I

imagine the bones would be quite cartilage probably wouldn't it Dan's got in touch said I'm a zookeeper and I work with carnivores similarly to you to many of the

species aren't overly keen on chicken feet and some, like our cheetah, won't even bother with them. It'd be fucking brilliant working in there too. However,

Pete, tell me how you would pronounce that, this animal here, right? I've got the link. How would you pronounce that? A dole. A dole.

D-H-O-L-E, a dole. Which apparently is an Asian wild dog. Yeah. I've never heard of it before. We used to have them at Twycross Zoo. Your zoo?

Yeah, wild dogs. Anyway, apparently the doll will turn the chicken upside down so they can munch down the feet first. All 18 in the doll pack show this same behaviour, and we have no idea why. When hunting, doll will generally attempt to eat the most nutritious parts of the prey's body, such as the organs, first.

However, they have a preference for chicken feet in our zoo, much to our puzzlement. Love the show, Dan. So, if you know anything about Dole... That's where to put your chicken feet. Send it to a Dole. Or a whistling dog. Sign on to see the Dole.

Yeah, it's a lovely looking animal. Kind of like a cross between a fox and a... It looks like a cross between a fox and a dog. Fox and a dog. And as everyone knows, a fox is what happens when a dog and a cat have sex. Yeah. Dogs are men and cats are women.

And a glassy mint needs a mascot. Hello to... Who have we got here? Communist cat. Hello, communist cat. I believe in America. My most egregious school injustice story happened sometime

around third grade to provide some context I was a wee lass and went to a school that was lax to the point that teachers were to be addressed by their first names

I do not endorse this nor do I it's not very cool teachers however the school in question turned out to be quite strict in relation to one issue clubs and around about this age

there was quite a rivalry between the girls and the boys while the boys would start large games of kickball and soccer, is boys kickball compared to soccer? Sounds like it should be the same thing to me. Yes, I am an American amongst

themselves. They would not let the girls join. This inspired the conception of the Girls' Defence Club, which sounds a bit EDL. The Girls' Defence Club. It was a very small club that did just that, defended girls, which translated to the policy of asking the boys to let the girls join in and using sticks to etch giant peace signs on the field at recess.

Oh, unfortunately, hello. Unfortunately, the GDC ended as soon as it began, as the entire club, which consisted of maybe three people, was held inside after school and was given a lecture stating that unauthorised clubs that were not sponsored by a parent or a company were strictly prohibited.

I sobbed during the entire speech and quickly disbanded the club which had lasted the duration of a single recess. This ridiculous injustice

makes my blood boil to this very day. Communist cat! I mean, young feminist. Well, yeah, yes,

definitely, but more importantly a young rabble rouser. Stop playing around with that, will feminist. Well, yeah, yes, definitely. But more importantly, a young rabble rouser. Stop playing around with that, will you? Well, because of the strength of the spring on my microphone stand, it keeps moving it up. Sounds like we're recording in an ironworks. So I'm not, so I'm going to move it down again. But yeah, did you ever start a little club at school?

I remember starting, I was involved in the conception of a protest, a school-wide, and it was school wide in my junior school to the dinner ladies who had been unfair to some of my friends so we started a big

we protest chant how were they unfair? can't remember how old were you at the time? well like because school

I remember being told by one of the school dinner ladies I mean they're not they're just mums aren't they? they're just mums who Because school, I remember being told by one of the school dinner ladies, I mean, they're not, they're just mums, aren't they? They're just mums who, like retired mums. They want a little job, want the kids at school. Yeah, exactly.

And so I'm fairly certain back in the day, there's no real formal training that goes into that particular job. I don't even know whether it exists anymore. I presume it still does. Or maybe there is, I don't know, but there certainly wasn't back then. So they were actually quite... Well, you'd have to be like,

probably checked and stuff now. Yeah, but they were actually at times quite hands-on when it comes to, you know, they would kind of glorify teachers sort of thing.

So they would come over and... Well, you'd get a bit drunk on power, you reckon? One of them came up to me once and went, you'll never amount to anything. You're a fucking idiot. Which is,

which is true, but... Yeah, very perceptive. She's wasted doing that job, man. Fucking hell. Very harsh, kind of like... But some of them will be actually quite vindictive to the point of going, you're hurting. You're hurting inside.

You're like the little... You didn't even get the you'll never amount to anything chat that we all got in broadcasting? From a teacher. From a teacher? Yeah, I got it from a dinner lady. Wow, that is like low, man.

There are people who kind of... What did the other one say? What did the other one say to you? You're hurting inside. No, no, I'm saying that they're hurting inside. Oh, okay, right. You know when... It's a cat been laid, lady.

Yeah, yeah. Like she was a modern pariah, but I kind of feel sorry for... I feel sorry for Bagel Man he's hurting inside and his the guys who think they can win a tennis point of Serena Williams

they're hurting inside people who think that Megan Rapinoe isn't a legitimate superhero I know this isn't right I know this isn't right but if a dinner lady

said that to me even if I was 10 I'd have said hang on a minute you're a fucking dinner lady I think that's what I may have kind of

what do you call it what's the thought on the stairwell oh yeah stairwell it's a French thing L'esprit de L'esprit de Scalia Scalia yeah

I nearly said C'est le bruit du sanguin which I think might be devil without corns or something like that which is very different which I may have gleaned from

L'esprit de Scalia yeah I remember that but yes so you protested what happened we started a big chant saying, we protest, we protest. And then a few people sort of like joined us

kind of marching around the playground until the entirety of the school playground. None of them knew what was going on? Nobody knew what was going on, but everyone was going, we protest, we protest. And then there was a summit meeting with their master about what? Really?

Yeah. About some shoddy treatment by the something horrible that the dinner lady had said wow I mean I think

the dinner lady was like the worst dinner lady the comment to you specifically was this say again no no they're doing me but

similar down similar lines I think okay right you were the gateway drug one was horrible to one of our

friends and I think the dinner lady when she saw the entirety of the school marching around the playground shouting, will you re-protest in the big snaky line? She thought I'm in trouble here. She thought I might be in trouble here. Yeah.

I'm losing my, you know, my wee job. By the pricking of my thumbs, something wicked this way comes. What about another school injustice then from Eric? Okay. He says, hi guys, after hearing your recent chat about school injustices, I had to share mine. One time in middle school, our entire grade had to eat lunch in a much smaller gymnasium

as the normal cafeteria was being used for something. This led to everyone being packed here much tighter than usual and made supervision quite hard for the teachers and the staff. Obviously, being 13 or 14 years old at the time, something bad was going to happen and a food fight started, just like the ones you see in the movies. The injustice, however,

happened to a kid named Alex, who I witnessed get hit square in the face with a piece of pizza right at the beginning of the melee. Nice. Yet two hours later, when half our grade were being funneled in and out the principal's office

to find out we'd been suspended from school the next day, there was Alex, pleading his case that he didn't even throw any food. How could he have done? He spent the whole food fight trying to wipe pizza off his face. Love the show. Keep it coming.

PS Pete, please come back to Korea. I'll buy you a Bexel energy drink. Pizza in the face. It's like when Man United played Arsenal and someone chucked a piece of pizza at Alex Ferguson. I thought Alex Ferguson was the one who chucked the pizza. He received a bit, did he? I think it was Seth Fabregas who of pizza at Alex Ferguson. I thought Alex Ferguson was the one who chucked the pizza. He received a bit, did he? I think it was Seth Fabregas who threw it at Alex Ferguson.

If you threw a slice of pepperoni at Alex Ferguson's cheek, would you even notice it was there? And no one was there to see it? The same colour. Yeah. He could have loads on there and you wouldn't know. That'd be painful getting... His face might be protected by a thin layer of pepperoni

and you wouldn't know because it's so red. It would be painful because, I mean, you know when you, I would say if you're going to go top three foodstuffs to burn the roof of your mouth, pizza's right up there. Cheese, hot cheese, yeah. If you get a hot one right on your face, my goodness me. It used to be a cruel slur on people at my school. If you had like spots, people would call you pizza face.

Pizza face, yeah. Really mean, I think. Remember the samurai pizza cats? Let's move on. No, the what? really mean I think remember the samurai pizza cats let's move on no the what samurai pizza cats samurai pizza cats yeah I don't think

it was a legitimate Japanese cartoon but I think they again that kind of like bandwagon jumping I think samurai pizza cats did you ever get involved

in a food fight Pete is that what you I've never had one to be honest I haven't either yeah one more email to squeeze in.

One more match. This is from Matt Kasanoff. Nice. What a lovely name. This is a bit of a dirty one, Pete. It's right up your street. I never considered this before. I was going to audibly unzip my flies,

but I've got a button trowel. Oh, trowel. That's a shame. Matt Kasanoff says, on the back of episodes 168 to 171, you talked a lot about Brian Adams. I don't remember doing that. Do you?

No. He says, I thought it would be appropriate to share the following anecdote. When I was probably 17, I was having a conversation about rock music with one of my best friends. I said something along the lines of,

it's crazy how popular Summer of 69 is considering it's only about sex. Upon hearing this news, my friend displayed genuine shock, proclaiming, I'm not sure that's true. I challenged him to look up the lyrics. Not only did he look up the lyrics, afterwards he still claimed it was not entirely clear

whether or not the song was about sex. Here are some of the lines from the lyrics. Standing on your mama's porch, you told me that you'd wait forever. Oh, and when you held my hand, I knew it was now or never. Mama, we're killing time. We were young and restless. We needed to unwind. I guess nothing can last forever. Oh, and when you held my hand, I knew it was now or never. Man, we were killing time. We were young and restless.

We needed to unwind. I guess nothing can last forever. Forever, no. It was the summer of 69. Oh, yeah, me and my baby in 69. Oh.

I'd never once considered that. Um, no, I thought he was too clink up for that kind of behaviour. He's a very celebrated photographer now.

I thought you were going to say conilinguist. When you think about it, right, it's got to be true. Yeah's a very celebrated photographer now. I thought you were going to say conilinguist. When you think about it, right, it's got to be true. Yeah, it's got to be. Because he was only

born in 1959. Right. So he wasn't hanging out in... Unless he was particularly advanced. At nine years old with his girl

that he fell in love with, really, was he? No. Like two Tetris ships going at it. But they've put the inverted comma before 69

to make it out like it's short for 1969 well of course they have because they can't go I fucking you know I went down on my missus

no I've had sex with a lady I mean it's not very very reconstructed is it this is the song we're talking about yeah I mean

number 4 in the 50 best Canadian singles of all time number 70 in the 500 greatest songs since you were born by Blender

in 2005 number 635 in the 1001 greatest singles ever made it's summer of 69 yeah what

play it till my fingers bled that's gotta be that's gotta be something he talks about he says he starts off I've got I've got my first real

six string brought it at the five and dime, I've got my first real six string. Banjo string. Bought it at the Five and Dime. Remember I told you my friend thought it said, bought it at the Claude Van Damme, which doesn't make any sense. So I think he is actually talking about a guitar there. That is wonderful.

But we are talking about a song here that charted pretty much everywhere. He took pictures of Lady Diana and he's allowed to give the kids that filth. God rest her. God rest us all. Yeah. Yeah.

Brian Adams, we never knew you. Sold 675,000 copies in the UK alone, that single. If you're like... Matt Kasanoff, you've blown our minds. If you ever want to see... If someone thinks they're all high and mighty, I can't imagine anyone who has had sex who's never done a 69.

Where's this come from? I'm just saying, it's a humorous image. When you just say, I'm just saying. Because then you've got the choice of who goes on top and who goes on the bottom.

Like, it's a funny situation for anyone to be in, I think. So if you ever, if a boss ever mugs you off, if a dinner lady, possibly,

ever says that you'll never amount to anything, just imagine in the 69 position. Is this your version of when you say, if you're nervous, imagine someone sat there with no clothes on? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely gone for it. It's your dirty version of it.

Yeah, exactly. You don't think any adult human being has not been in that situation, Pete? Yeah. Well, there's one person here who hasn't. And if they haven't, they're missing out. Yeah. Is that the message you want to leave

the listeners with today? What's this? It's the same theme. Basically, in Japan, they have a very famous secondhand shop, and it's called Hard Off. Right. And they're quite celibate for their music, their shitty panpipe music they've got in their shops.

And digital slap bass. Do you know that in... Hard off. In most of the places where the panpipes are played, it's actually known as a pan flute. Is that right? I think so, yeah. Do you know what I was thinking about the other day as well?

Mm-hmm. That weird video with those guys from Saturday Night Live, one of which is in Brooklyn Nine-Nine now. Who did that song with Michael Bolton who becomes obsessed with Jack Sparrow. Yes, yes. That's funny that, isn't it? I feel like it's a bit underrepresented.

Lonely Island. It was a Lonely Island. They've done a really good Netflix special where, is it Jose Canseco or Sammy? I think it's Jose Canseco and another one. Basically two baseball guys who were found to have used steroids at some point I'm not saying

it was something I can't say but one of those ones that were in that Simpsons episode like Barry Bonds or whatever from here to San Diego Darryl Strawberry

Darryl Strawberry might have been the strobs they weren't all taking it wasn't it was to do with that wasn't part of the narrative but in real life

some baseball players will cock bats and take them baseball players will cock bats and take them drugs. Yeah. I find cock bats fascinating. Yeah, I do. Some bands,

some baseball teams have experienced If it floats, it's a witch. With liquid mercury. Wow. Which would increase Mercury is liquid anyway. That's a tautology, isn't it?

Well, no. I mean, no, because it's got a high, low melting point. It's a liquid at room temperature, isn't it? Yeah. We used to have a little maze that we got on a Christmas cracker. That was not point. It's a liquid at room temperature, isn't it? Yeah. We used to have a little maze

that we got on a Christmas cracker. That was not mercury. It was. Even in the 80s, that wasn't mercury. I'm telling you, that was fucking mercury, Matt. You are... That is... Your brain has remembered a small ball bearing

to be mercury. I'm telling you now... They're not putting mercury in a kid's toy in the 80s. That was prime you-can't-touch-mercury situation. Hello? There it is, published in 1978. We had one well into the 80s, mate. That you-can't-touch-mercury situation. Hello, there it is,

published in 1978. We are well into the 80s, mate. That's not mercury, that's a ball. It is, it's not. Yeah, it's called the Mercury Miz, but it's clear... Why is it in a ball, then?

That's clearly not a glob of mercury, that's just a ball bearing. The aim of the game is to rotate and tilt the puzzle to get the silver blob of mercury into the centre of the maze. Show me that. It is a late example

of the use of mercury in a game aimed at children or young people. Unbelievable. Mercury is a late example of the use of mercury in a game aimed at children or young people. Unbelievable. Mercury is known to be toxic and hazardous to health and is consequently banned or restricted from use

in manufacturing. We had one, mate. I'm putting the hard-off advert on. How do you feel about that? Mercury maze? I know how you feel based on this music.

The magic. Of house. Of house. That's a house-based second-hand shop. Where'd a mercury maze? The magic's come out of our cupboard, so... Mercury maze.

Get out of here, Pete. Bring the theme tune in because I want people's last impression of this show to be... You're right and I was wrong. We have mercury mazes in our house.

You could have broken that out and got cancer. My mum didn't give a shit. She used to watch me play all the time. Didn't give a shit. Inhaling the fuse. Only made of really thin

plastic as well. Probably would have sunk into my skin and poisoned my bloodstream. Yeah, you would have been gone grey like that man who drank all of that colloidal silver.

Yeah. We all know him. This was a Radio Stakhanov production.