The Luke and Pete Show - Episode 188: Taco Bell with your mam

Episode Date: July 25, 2019

FIRE IN THE BOOTH! It's the hottest day of the year, but just when you thought it couldn't get any hotter, here come Luke and Pete with some fresh #realtalk, so hush your gums, open your ear lids and enjoy.This time they're talking vasectomies, otters being disgraceful shits, outright quackery from people purporting to be medical professionals, and pink, yes pink, sheep. There's loads more besides, so make sure you give it a listen and then tell all your friends because we didn't sit in a studio in 45C heat for nothing thanks very much. ***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Own each step with Peloton. From their pop runs to walk and talks, you define what it means to be a runner. Whatever your level, embrace it. Journey starts when you say so. If you've got five minutes or 50, Peloton Tread has workouts you can work in. Or bring your classes with you for outdoor runs, walks, and hikes, led by expert instructors on the Peloton app. Call yourself a runner.

Peloton all-access membership separate. Learn more at onepeloton.ca slash running. Fire in the booth. Fire in the booth. I'm expecting a slightly more intimate booth than the one we've got now. Ours is quite spacious, so if there was a fire,

I think we'd be all right. I think we'd be able to deal with it fine. I don't actually know where the fire extinguishes, you know. It feels like a fire. There's a fire on every corner of the studio at the moment. My mum and dad are going back from London to Hartlepool today, and I don't think their train's going to be going.

No, it's going to... I listened to... This is the Luke and Petra, by the way. Hello. Episode 188. I listened to the radio this morning, and they had a guy on, they rolled a guy out from Network Red or whatever, saying, oh, this is the situation.

These tracks are made for certain temperatures, and at the moment we're outside the comfortable level of temperature for the tracks. Forged in a big hot place themselves, of course. Yeah, exactly. Sounds like they are. Reminds me of home. They'd like it.

Reminds me of home. Big old puzzles. So, yeah, it is warm. But we'll get through it, won't we? We'll get there. One of the great things about a heatwave, I'm just going to put this straight out there, Pete, and I'm hoping you're going to jump on board with this,

and I'm hoping our listeners do as well. And if you've got anything to say about this or anything else, of course, it's hello at lukeandpeach.com. But one of the great things about a heatwave, for me anyway, is seeing news stories about animals in zoos enjoying odd flavoured ice lollies.

Yes. Fish with, fish, penguins do eat a lot of fish ice lollies. I saw some penguins yesterday who were enjoying mackerel flavoured ice lollies. Just tucking right in. Just because they like fish normally

give them a blooming calippo there was a guy on my walk into the train station this morning he was on the bins right and he was eating a calippo yeah nice that is my

food of choice I wouldn't be eating if I was on the bins though what do you mean it's a bit weird take your glove off take your glove off yeah he was working one handed

because of the calippo on the other hand yeah but those mackerel flavoured ice lollies, they've been dyed red and blue. Oh, so they're like... Because I was thinking, I don't really know

why you think that the penguins would care about this, you know? There's mackerel in this. Disgusting. Surely you're just freezing a load of water with mackerel inside it and they're going to get...

It's like a little game for them, isn't it? Maybe it's mackerel blood. What ice lollies would you put out there if you... Just, I mean, magnums can get stuffed.

I think they're rubbish. And not on a hot day. You want an ice-based one, don't you? Obviously, I am a big proponent of the Japanese ice cream, Coolish, an ice cream that has never been exported, I believe, to England. But I fear one day that will be my destiny. In a post-Brexit world, we might start doing some deals with Japan. Describe Coolish

to our listeners and to me. It's like a Capri Sun, you know, like a pack of Capri Sun. Yeah. The new version with the little stopper on the top.

Yeah, I'm not about that. I prefer the straw business, yeah. Yeah, but then straws in it. You don't want straws. True,

actually. And then, yeah, there's all kinds of different flavours from like vanilla to vanilla. And then,

there's one version that's a little bit more like a salt bit which is delicious Calpis Calpis is like a Calpis Calpis is a

yoghurt based kind of cordial and it's very very nice very refreshing I think it's lychee flavoured or something I quite like lychee

flavoured things why hasn't it been why hasn't it ever been brought to the fine shores of the UK you occasionally see a bit of calpis in Japanese supermarkets

usually the concentrate but the actual ice cream itself well it doesn't travel very well you'd have to import it in bulk and I don't think there's that much of a demand for the old coolish but I do love it if you put it in the shop

people will buy whatever they buy right if it's there in front of them it's marketed properly but it's funny because there's a really nice build your own ice cream sundae place in the US

called Sweet Frog. Sweet Frog. And they give you loads of different flavours of ice cream and you can put your toppings on all that kind of stuff. The stuff that Americans

are generally quite good at. And when my wife first moved here we were talking about things about what she's going to miss and she said, I'm going to miss Sweet Frog. And I said, well maybe they've got one

in the UK. We'll check, right? So I googled it. There is one going to miss. And she said, I'm going to miss Sweet Frog. And I said, well, maybe they've got one in the UK. We'll check, right? So I Googled it. There is one in the UK. Let me guess. Bearing in mind, the only Hooters in the UK is in Nottingham.

Yeah. Is it Nottingham? Yeah, no. It's in Southend. Southend. One Sweet Frog in Southend. I'm not sure if it's still there, but I thought,

it's not really that convenient, is it? Well, Southend's got a beach, hasn't it? It has to be fair. It has, be fair. It has, yeah, but I'm not sure why they decided that was the best test ground for a sweet frog, but there you have it. What else has been going on, Peter?

What's been filling your week? You've just been trying to stay out of the heat, or you've been enjoying embracing the heat? The first Taco Bell in the UK that I've been to, yesterday with my mum, she wasn't impressed. Well, she was, actually. She ate all of her food gainly. My mum and dad

had been down. I sent my dad off to go and see the old Book of Mormon. He very much enjoyed it. I bet he was. He was very, and I walked past

the bloke, apparently, every now and again there's a bloke who stands in Leicester Square with a big table and he explains

the Quran to people who aren't or fear with its teachings and, you know, how it's a good thing, etc. table and he explains the Quran to people who aren't au fait with its teachings and you know how it's a good thing etc

and I walked past and I went my dad's going to love a bit of that I bet he starts talking to the bloke about the Quran and true

enough he sent me a picture of all the leaflets and copies of the Quran he got off the man did he talk to him yeah yeah my dad

loves talking to anybody who's you know doing that sort of thing doing that sort of caper. And what was the upshot of that? I've just been to see Booker Mormon. Well, I've just been to see...

He said, fuck God, in the ass. Yeah. Yeah. Don't open with that. I think dads who hold discussions with ethnic minorities or... Dads, any dad. Any dad, yeah.

Dads, it gives them an out when some of their less refined opinions about things comes out well no I was talking to a bloke I was talking to a random

Muslim guy in Hartlepool so that's why I think I'm right how refined are your opinions they're pretty refined almost to the point oh so they're over refined

yeah they've gone back round again they're like it's like refined sugar it's just my opinions are just a bag full of coolish what Refined, almost to the point of... I would say they're over-refined. Yeah. They've gone back round again. They're like... So you don't know where we are. It's like refined sugar. It's just... My opinions are just a bag full of coolish. What, um...

Did your mum order at Taco Bell? I think that's what everyone wants to know. I just ordered... This is both a, um... What's his... Mum, you can come to Taco Bell, but I'm ordering for both of us. I'm ordering the Doritos box.

I had a sugar-free Mountain Dew, which is actually quite alright. Now I've just said sugar-free Mountain Dew. Yeah. I'm salivating a little bit I really want a sugar free Mountain Dew I want that fizz

I think they've got I'm fairly certain that these sugar free sort of fizzy drinks soda kind of things have got some kind of undeclared not studied enough

addictive quality I mean they've been all the zines and the zides have all been in there since like the 70s haven't they so I mean, they've been, all the zines and the zides have all been in there since like the 70s haven't they? So I mean. I had a,

I had like a small bottle of Pepsi Max cherry about a month ago and it was delicious. Right. It was very, very refreshing. Yeah.

And I think I might have bought about 10 bottles since and it's just not like me to do that. So I think there might be something afoot. Something in there. Yeah, because there's a lot of talk about aspartame, isn't there?

But I mean, apparently it's the most tested ingredient around and nothing bad has been come of it. But you wonder about these more modern things because you wonder if there's a big enough sample size over a long enough amount of time to know. Well, I think... Anyway, what did you have at Taco Bell? I just had one of

those Doritos box a damn quesadilla I had a quesadilla and a one of those like hard shell tacos oh yeah hard to eat in it put whatever you want

yeah a little bit but um where is it yeah we had a nice time next to mum and my dad's terrible hotel oh in Russell Square

they insist on staying in the most like the place that's the worst place to get from like you know it's close to you. That's what squares are, right? Because it's between King's Cross and Oxford Circus.

Yeah, that's fine. But my mum and dad insist on walking everywhere. So by the end of the day, like my mum had a heat stroke yesterday because my dad insisted on dragging her around. And I bet no one's drinking water either. No, God no. When my grandad, bless him,

he had like a UTI a while back. I might have already told you this, but anyway, had like a UTI a while back I might have already told you this but anyway he had a UTI a while back and I did a load test on him he's fine now

but turned out he'd only been drinking red wine and coffee for the last two years or something it's the only thing that's passed his list we don't need that much water

I mean we do want to do like this but let's make that very clear don't be putting that out there there's literally health warnings on the BBC website and you're coming on saying, we don't need that much water.

I was on, also a mate from America has popped over to see a friend whose wife suddenly passed last week. She,

he, he was in the hotel with his daughter. It was this adorable little New Yorker kid. Yeah. And she calls me, Uncle Peter.

Uncle Peter. Yeah. We said Uncle Peter. Uncle Peter. Uncle Peter. Yeah. Is that Uncle Peter? It sounds Australian. I don't know. Is it Uncle Peter? Really dicks, Uncle Pete. And I was,

every time I play, Breakfast at Tiffany's, do you remember that song? Yeah, of course. I can't remember the band name. Deep Blue something. I played it on air and I give him a shout out

because he always used to hate that song. I said, if he's listening, which I think he was listening, I'm playing this for Anthony who hates this song. And he recorded me doing it on the radio, on his hotel telly. And his daughter went, but why?

It's a great song. Really? But why? It's a great song. It's in the right tune, isn't it? He said, Uncle Peter. I think I had it on CD single.. Really? But why? It's a great song. It's in the right tune, isn't it? He said Uncle Peter. I think I had it on CD single. Did you?

Nice. And tell everyone listening about someone who shared a video of you on the radio. Oh, yeah. It's a slightly different circumstance. No, because it only happened, I think, the other day. Yeah, I think I mentioned it on the ramble, but somebody was fellating somebody else on Twitter.

Well, not on Twitter, but that does happen a lot. Someone uploaded the video to Twitter. Amateur pornography. And a pervert who clearly follows my radio show, and it seems just retweets a lot of grot. He forwarded me,

well, he sent me the video saying, hey, check this out. And it was me in the background telling people to get on your mobile phone, text WIN to Air 1215 to win £40,000. He did not do that. He continued a blowjob. He continued receiving a blowjob. It left me very confused.

What do you mean? Well, just because I thought, I don't know. I've never before associated your voice with fellatio. No. Either giving or receiving. That was quite a surprise because when you when you showed it to me

straight away when you actually saw it for the first time we were sat together doing something else and you were like look at this this bloke just shared

shared a porn video with me brilliant thanks mate yeah and then I didn't realise and then we clicked on the sound oh god and then it got a little bit weird sent it to my boss

went check this out did you he said he didn't text he didn't text the money so you sent it to your boss. Check this out. Did you? He said he didn't text. He didn't text the money. Did you send it to your boss and say, that's two listeners on radio. Put that on there.

Yeah, very interesting. And then somebody sent me a screenshot of a man with glasses getting a blowy. Don't need it, do you? Yeah, don't need it. Don't need it, really. Porno likes

don't really need that in my life. Although there was a guy, a colleague of yours once who got caught leaving the mic up watching pornographic material while on the radio himself

was it not? true I don't think Jazz FM Jazz FM if anything were part of the GCAP slash global network at the time

okay right but it did happen though right? it did happen yeah you can just hear mechanical chains and whips and two blocks kissing and cuddling

nice over the top of jazz music still find them. Mate, I sometimes like to dig out stories that I think you will find interesting and try to get your

reaction to them. I came across a story yesterday about Latitude Festival. Have you been to Latitude Festival? I think I worked there a couple of times, yeah.

The RSPCA are kicking off, aren't they? Right. Along with PETA, who are always kicking off, by the way. Because there is a tradition at Latitude Festival

of dying the sheep on the farm. Ah, that's right, yes. Pink. Pink. Pink sheep. Look, here's a picture. Yeah. What do you make of that?

Does it harm the animals? Does the sheep care? Apparently it's environmentally friendly natural dye. Right. It's a bit demeaning, isn't it? I mean, maybe, yeah. I mean, it's... If demeaning isn't it I mean maybe yeah I mean

it's if I was going to ask the sheep in question getting all my hair shaved off yeah true actually regularly

yeah regularly that's quite demeaning but that's for a purpose though right and it doesn't hurt them yeah this is for a purpose

for entertainment is that important to you yeah like seeing pink sheep more important to you than wool what is their point is it just it's upsetting people

because it's one of the quotes is a ridiculous instance of animal exploitation for entertainment profit and some Instagram likes the sheep are sentient beings not party props

yeah again they are eating them is it mutually exclusive can you be both because Pete you and I have both been sentient beings and party props

in our lives yeah I think yeah I mean having a situation where you die shoot for instagram and people taking nice pictures and stuff it's it's all it's all a bag of wank in it it's it's what pete it's what really stupid people think is cool yeah look at that yeah oh so so decadent here i've got pink sheet but one thing that annoyed me on behalf of there's a red telephone box in the middle of norway what oh here's two carefully planted bales of hay in front of a neon sign in the middle of a field saying love everything yeah

saying live love laugh but you know on this story about the pink sheep there's loads of pictures of the sheep obviously as you'd imagine and it. And it's quite a controversial story, I suppose. And then there's just a picture of Lana Del Rey, saying Lana Del Rey was among the headlines at Latitude Festival this year. If I was Lana Del Rey, I'd be like, why am I suddenly involved? I wasn't involved in this. I've taken the coin. It's hardly Beyonce playing the UAE, is it?

No. It's hardly some sheik's, you know, party. It's hardly like people flouting the blockade of South Africa during a party. It's hardly Radiohead playing Israel, is it? No, exactly. Unbelievable. Roger Waters is fuming about that, he is. He's always fuming about that.

Roger Waters, you would assume, because Pink Floyd is beloved by a lot of quite Brexity men, you would assume that he was Brexit, but he's really not. He's quite right on, isn't he? He is quite right on. Don't he? He is quite right on. Don't forget, we're going to take a short break, but don't forget in these amazing... I won't forget. ...and severe temperatures to drink enough Roger Waters.

I've not had any waters this morning. You've got your Nalgene out. I'm more of a Gilmore man. I'm more of a red wine and coffee man. Own each step with Peloton. From their pop runs to walk and talks, you define what it means to be a runner. Whatever your level, embrace it.

Journey starts when you say so. If you've got five minutes or 50, Peloton Tread has workouts you can work in. Or bring your classes with you for outdoor runs, walks, and hikes, led by expert instructors on the Peloton app. Call yourself a runner. Peloton all- Call yourself a runner. Peloton all access membership separate. Learn more at onepeloton.ca slash running.

See that chap over there? He got your hand off my penis! He never did. He never did take his hand off my penis. He never did. Oh, a friend texted me a picture of his testicle. Oh, good. Would you like to see it? It's a doo there. You never did. Julian Assange. Oh, my friend texted me a picture of his testicle. Oh, good.

Would you like to see it? It's a doozy. I wouldn't like to see it, but I suppose for the purpose of this I'm probably going to have to see it, aren't I? He's just had... So what's the context here?

What have we got here? He just had a vasectomy. Right. Do they tie it these days, or snip it? They tie it, don't they? Is it not a cauterising? I think you tie it so you can undo it again.

Nah, surely not. Some people change their minds. Nah, that would just restrict blood flow. And surely you've got blood flowing to the actual tubes. I believe it's a tying process. Yeah, well, they all say it's an in-and-out job, really easy. Look at the state of those testicles. No, I did not need to see that.

That is severe bruising. And also the wound itself looks like there's a wasp's nest in there. That's not great, is it? It's not great. Why is he properly posing with the flash on

pulling his penis out the way to show you the last chicken in St. Mary's? He just wants to share the pain. He wants to share the pain with his friends. Are you thinking about having the procedure done then?

I mean, who knows? I'm probably shooting blanks at this point who knows well because of all the abuse you've put your body through I've only given myself

several vasectomies myself and reversed them no I don't know I don't know why I'd I mean you don't wear a condom just to stop babies do you

you wear a condom to prevent the flow of problems as well as well yeah okay but the presumably this guy is in a relationship

and they've had children and they don't want to have any more children. He's not putting it about a bit anyway, is he? He's just having sex with his wife, presumably. No, he's not. Yeah, but I'm sure... I mean, you can't put it about with that state.

Be careful. He's busted it. He's broken it. My mate went sailing. I remember my dad having a vasectomy and at one point, I think at one point, he did take a football to the groin

and he hit the deck and I was like, Dad, what's going on? I don't think he properly I think at one point he did take a football to the groin and he hit the deck and I was like Dad what's going on? I don't think he properly explained it to me because I was about 8 and he just had the snip yeah

oh it just feels tender in my mind I'm sure it's all very non-intrusive looking back on it I think we'll agree good on him for still

playing a bit of football he's not shied away from that he's not ducked out of that I mean exactly what's the worst that could happen what a terribly unlucky thing to happen a friend

who I had breakfast with yesterday because I do have breakfast do you have breakfast you have breakfast with friends oh you went to Dishoom didn't you Dishoom yeah because you couldn't come for lunch with me because you went for breakfast

with someone else that's a look behind the curtain I've got to maintain relationships mate I've got to maintain shit you were. I've got to maintain shit. You were just having a mocktail. You were having a mocktail in the Hoxton Hotel. I had a lovely lunch in there. Lovely lunch.

It was a delicious lunch. She went, she used to go sailing with a bloke who used to work with a lot of vasectomies. He was an expert in untying them, uncauterising the vasectomies. He was an expert in untying them, uncauterising the vasectomies. And he used to, he had nearly enough money to buy a beautiful boat anyway. But I was like,

does that mean he's good at tying knots? Like sailing knots, or bad? I'm not really sure. Does he move quickly from town to town? On this boat? I'm just going back on my boat with my knives. Yeah. This is a gutting knife. Are you qualified for this? This is a gutting knife. Are you qualified for this?

Oh, look at that beautiful sunset over there. Let's do some emails, Peter. Lots of people have emailed in to hello at lukeandpete show.com with a perfect five out of five Uber rating. All right. Including Josh, Ben and Hannah. I'm going to say that they did not have many rides. I would like to see the number there.

That was exactly the point I was going to make I think we are going to need to see the amount of trips because you and I still post

I think I'm on a 4.72 or something you're posting a bit higher than that I believe but you and I do hit that Uber button more than

the average I would say as a non-driver I'm yawning there sorry everyone a non-driver I'm obviously using it a little bit

more than most I think I might get an Uber home tonight purely because it's going to be so hot from here I think it's going to be a shit fight so fancy

well to get an air conditioned Uber it probably costs me a little bit of money but what's the value of that the value of that is very high the value of that is very high because if a train's tracks are warped

mm van's warped to her opening tune on Red Hot Chili Peppers One Hot Minute warped warped right that's the only musical reference I can think of my sister-in-law went to that tour? Opening tune on Red Hot Chili Peppers One Hot Minute Warped. Warped, right. That's the only

musical reference I can think of. My sister-in-law went to that reformed Warped tour the other week, I think. Alright,

she enjoyed it. What I don't like about whatever the Warped tour is, all the bands I like just seem to get further and further down the bill.

I think that does happen. Real big fish, less than Jake. They were there, they were definitely there because she shared some They were there. They were definitely there because she shared some photos. Yeah, they were definitely there.

It's a 25 year anniversary, isn't it? So that's why it's happening. Anyway, yeah. They played in Atlantic City with Monster Energy. Now, there's nothing... I can't imagine how much Monster Energy drinks

I could have drank when I was of age where you could actually get... But you were straight edge, were you not? You can't have Monster Energy if you're straight edge. I was straight edge. I was pissed. You've could actually get away with it. But you were straight edge were you not? You can't have monster energy over your straight edge because it's got caffeine in it. Every,

every, every, but isn't the straight edge scene quite big in that type of music? Yeah, well, yeah,

it's more like hardcore stuff but yeah, or the old, but you can't have monster. No. Yeah, people are minor threat and all that kind of stuff.

It's all straight edge isn't it? But, but the, you can't have monster energy because it's got caffeine and taurine and stuff in it. I know, I'm,

yeah, but I'm just, but like, you can only have water and lettuce a day to remember all the bands have like all the bands have like quite poetic kids near water

boy sets fire have you got the line up yeah the Aquabats did the drummer of Blink-182 used to be in the Aquabats I'm not sure

I think he might have been the offspring they're involved the offspring gym class heroes WK yeah Save Ferris CKY is a classic Save Ferris is a classic I I think he might have been the offspring Jim Class Heroes WK yeah Save Ferris

CKY is a classic Save Ferris is a classic I for some reason I think I was drunk the lead singer of Save Ferris I can't remember her name now but

I befriended her on Facebook when I was much younger right and pervert why am I pervert just because I know what you're thinking about

what do you mean I know your reasons for it what do you mean well because I reasons for it what do you mean well just because I couldn't find the leet sing of real big fish at the time so guy with the

sideburns yeah what about this stack like pancakes the starting line there old school taking back Sunday thrice

taking back Sunday or a band just good just a great day out by the sounds of things it's better you than it

would you go to that would you yeah yeah motocross vert ramp wrestling human cannonball warp museum It's just good. Just a great day out by the sounds of things. It's better you than it. Would you go to that, would you? Yeah, yeah. More across. Vert Ramp, Wrestling, Human Cannonball, Warp Museum.

If Steve-O's not there, I'll be very surprised. There can't be any more Pete Donaldson if he tries that. Balling for soup. The only way it could be more Pete Donaldson than this is if everyone was wearing

espadrilles and there was a Japan tent. Let's do an email from a guy called Burton. Now Pete, strap yourself in because unlike you I like to give our listeners

fair warning when something's going to come up which is a little bit disgusting think about warning dum dum dum dum dum dum this email dum dum dum is a follow up

on the segment about otters in episode 183 alright ok Burton says they may look sweet but otters are serial murdering necrophiliacs they kill even when it doesn't provide them with food or offspring in 2010

there was an article in aquatic mammals that documented 19 cases of sea otters attacking baby seals here's just one for your delectation a weaned harbor seal pup was resting on shore when an untagged male sea otter approached it grasped it with its teeth and forepaws bit it on the nose and flipped it over the harbour seal moved toward the water with the sea otter following closely once in the water the sea otter gripped the harbour seal's head with its forepaws and repeatedly bit it on the nose causing a deep laceration the sea otter and pup rolled violently in the water for approximately 15 minutes Wow. Intromission. Yep, after raping a baby seal to death,

the otter licked his paws like some kind of psycho. There's countless more tales of otter rape and murder to be found on the internet, but I think it's suffice to say they are evil creatures and should be thought of as such. Cheers, Burton. That started off like, one of your stories where I go,

that's some amazing animal fact that I'm not going to be amazed by. But yeah, that turned very much into Pete's cul-de-sac. It did. And I don't know, hopefully I'm not alone in asking this, but can I hear more about

Aquatic Mammals magazine, please? Because that sounds like a very specialist publication. What do you make of that? Look at the grot that it's bringing forth. Incredible, really. Because that sounds like a very specialist publication. What do you make of that? Well, look at the grot that it's bringing forth. Incredible, really. Can't interfere either.

You can only observe. Yeah. That's what people think when they listen to this. I see your hands. I mean, I would probably have to interfere

with myself. No, I'd throw a rock at them. Stop fucking that baby otter's... Throw a rock at them? Yeah. Peter. Stop the otter doing something dread... Throw a rock at them? Yeah. Peter. Stop the otter doing something dreadful.

Here's more violence. Yeah. In the shape of a rock. Yeah. You've got to keep people in line. You're at the top of the food chain, so just let's throw rocks at people. At least give them a verbal warning.

Look, that's enough of that. We're not having any more of that. How old is that otter? How old is that... Sea pup. Otter seal. No, otter seal. Otter and seal

pup mashup if you throw the rock it's like a hostage situation where you've trained your sniper rifle on the hostage and the terrorist you don't know which one

you're going to hit no exactly incredible like wow that's something else isn't it I've got another animal themed one which I'll just

squeeze in quickly before you do your email this one is from Ewan who says hi guys when i was small we went to sea world in florida before it was problematic to keep whales in tiny pools um we've all been there as well as the orcas they had heaps of cool sea mammals including a big old walrus me and a bunch of other kids on a tour were watching them with awe at the blubbery walrus

through aquarium glass when it approached the viewing glass and promptly started pleasuring itself by rubbing against it vigorously. Yeah. The SeaWorld host was trying to distract us with chat and facts when the walrus spoofed all over the glass. Every time I see a walrus on TV,

tumbling down a cliff or otherwise, I fondly remember that happy old walrus. What do you make of that? What can I make of that? What can anyone make of that? Not babies now, it's all over the window. I imagine like a walrus ejaculation

is quite a big deal as well. Quite a big deal. It's because of the little whiskers, isn't it? And that surprised slash satisfied look in his eyes. There's something about a walrus which makes it look a bit like an old professor. Yeah.

Whoa, you caught me put a monocle and a bow tie on it and then it suddenly feels very very different amazing have you got any stories about jizzing animals

yeah about animals who are you know engaging in that kind of behaviour it's hello at lukeandpete show.com yeah

have we talked about that bloke who was a vegan have we talked about that bloke who was a vegan who stopped being a vegan and he got a lot of abuse yeah we have yeah we talked about that bloke who was a vegan have we talked about that bloke who was a vegan who stopped being a vegan and he got a lot of abuse yeah we have yeah we talked about him

but I think I heard about him on the radio yeah he was talking about how upset he was yeah Carwin has got in touch who is a vegan

and there's a little bit of bias there says Carwin but how do you know when someone's a vegan Tim Schieff what

how do you know when someone's a vegan is it they tell you yes Tim Schieff is a bellend okay you know when someone's a vegan? Is it they tell you? Yes. Tim Schieff is a bellend. Okay. This is the guy who was moaning about it. He came out,

he changed from being a vegan to something else. Yes. And said that he felt a lot better not being a vegan. Yeah. Okay. I became a vegan 18 months ago, getting on the bandwagon, and first became aware of Tim around August 2018.

He was very much known in the vegan community due to his appearance on Ninja Warrior and his ethical clothing brand Ethics, which he has since resigned from. It was about this time he'd completed a 28-day fast where he only drank water. There was a lot of promoting this achievement and the huge positive effect it had on him.

I consider this incredibly troubling. Is it an achievement of human endurance? Yes. Is it glorifying starvation? Also, yes. With a huge following, I found it equally really irresponsible to promote such a thing and potentially trivialising eating disorders.

In fact, there are many vegans who tend to diet due to their eating disorders as a form of control in their recovery, although I acknowledge this doesn't work for everyone. Anyway, bragging about starvation as follows didn't sit well with me. That aside, move on. He has shared many videos since then and always made reference to his gut issues that he was experiencing

and his attempts to rectify this through different diets. For a long time, and up until his change to eating animals again, he was on a raw vegan diet. So essentially, it just means fruit and veg. Can you get all the essential nutrients you need? Probably yes, with a lot of hard work and planning, but I don't think he was doing this.

He even at this time got his stomach bacteria tested for his nutrition levels by a vegan nutritionist YouTuber called Goji Man. The feedback being, your levers are all off, you need to improve your diet, and water fasts don't help, and probably go and see a doctor if he's experienced all these issues. Many of the comments in his YouTube videos are, go and see a doctor

for crying out loud. But Tim is a let me read what I want on the internet kind of person. He even did a video where he was questioning if the world was round after seeing the evidence provided by flat earthers. Cut to his coming out video as a meat eater. In this video he addresses a months long issue with his gut but stating that water

fastens lightning and the best thing he ever did to make him feel better. Alright. He mentions he tried everything to make his gut better except to go and see a doctor or any type of actual health professional. He's even been drinking his own piss every day. and see a doctor or any type of actual health professional. He's even been drinking his own piss every day. Oh, okay.

So he's a madman. He's a madman. He then mentions the first animal-based food he ate was a wild-caught salmon, and then that night he had a wet dream and it was the first time he'd managed to ejaculate in months. With all that water, you would assume it would be really easy. Again with the walrus chat.

Yeah. Okay. Yeah, so basically the man admitted in his own YouTube video a salmon gave him an orgasm and he drank piss i'm not here to preach that vegans have a better diet anyone could have an unhealthy diet regardless of the restriction they put on uh do i think that the man being a vegan gave him this who's not he fasted for a month he drank piss every day he heavily restricted diet to raw fruits and veg and he refused to see a doctor. He's an attention-seeking madman.

Someone else pointed out to me, thanks for that email. If I went on YouTube and just had videos of me drinking my own piss, you've got to ramp up to that, haven't you? Yeah. He probably wanted to get to that point at some point. Yours are all set to private at the moment, aren't they? Yeah, exactly. As part of our Football Rambler Daily Patreon tier.

I'm going to drink my own piss. You know, I appreciate that email. That's good clarification. I didn't know much about him. I think we did talk about it in fairly vague terms because it was an interesting story rather than pretending to be the experts on it or whatever. But a lot of other people have got in touch

about nutritionism and nutritionists and dietitians and pointing out, actually, and I've got this on the Association of UK Dietitians website, dietitians are the only nutrition professionals to be regulated by law and are governed by an ethical code to ensure they always work to the highest standard. I think nutritionists are the kind of people

who just decide they want to be them. You're Julian McKeiths of the world and all the rest of it. I remember I used to go out with a girl whose sister was a chiropractor. Yeah, there's a little bit, there's a lot of controversy around that as well, you know. A lot of quackery in that,

in that caper, to be honest. With apologies to, oh, fuck it. I remember she bought, back in the day, used to get hand scanners. Now, scanners weren't always flatbed scanners, the ones we have today,

to scan something in. You had a handheld thing, and you would run it solely across the document you were going to be scanning. I don't know who would modify the firmware or modify the software to do this, but basically

she'd gone off to some conference and she'd come back and she'd been sold this hand scanner. It was clearly like an Amiga level kind of hand scanner plugged into a really expensive laptop. Pure three grand worth of quackery right um you know 200 quid's worth of old kit um and you would run it down someone's back and uh and it would sort of um tell you oh you're drinking too much coffee you're drinking and like nothing you could find really from the for the surface it

wasn't it wasn't sucking any chemicals it was just bouncing light off your skin. And how long ago was this? And this was like 15 years ago. That's unbelievable that she would fall for that. Because there was a situation with the scale I've got at home, which obviously weighs you, but it also measures your fat content, your fat level, fat percentage. And it's a Nokia thing.

It's a Nokia set of scales. It links up to an app on your phone. It's really highly rated, and it's a Nokia thing it's a Nokia set of scales it links up to an app on your phone it's really highly rated and it's quite expensive but I did a load of research around it after I bought it obviously

and there was a load of controversy about how accurate it can be apparently the only real way to get your fat percentage is to go to a proper clinic

get your pincers and they do it that way so back then 15 years ago that is essentially snake oil, isn't it? I think all they've done is to verify, to vary all of the results. They've just turned the image that the scanner scanned into some kind of algorithm to change it to, you know,

well, let's put the coffee up to, you drink a cup of coffee. It's a round of generator. Too much sugar. Yeah, it's just all that bollocks, really. But I guess if you scan the same back twice, you'd probably get similar results because of the skin colour, etc. It's a health minefield out there, Pete, isn't it? It's all a all that bollocks, really. But I guess if you scan the same back twice, you'd probably get similar results because of the skin colour, etc. It's a health minefield out there, Pete, isn't it? It's all a load of bollocks.

And that's why we're starting Luke and Pete Enterprises, Cacao Balls. Dr. Luke and Dr. Pete, thank you. That's the end of the listeners' appointment this week, Pete, but it should come back on Monday, shouldn't it? The doctor is out. Twice a week, before or after meals. We're back on Monday for episode 189.

Thank you very much for listening to that. To get in touch is hello at lukeandpeatshow.com. Please do leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your pods. It means a lot to us, but only leave a good one. Don't be out of order. Have a good weekend, Pete. See you on Monday.

See you in a bit, guys. this was a radio staccato production