The Luke and Pete Show - Episode 190: Technically speaking

Episode Date: August 1, 2019

A very good evening from Luke and Pete towers. Apologies for lateness with this one, Luke uttered the word ‘technically’ and everything went ever-so-wonky…so the second half of Thursday’s little boi is a little best-of.It’s still good, though.Haway, don’t slag us off, we’re doing our best.  ***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello there, this is the Luke and Pete Show. My name is Pete Donaldson. Now, we had a bit of a problem with the Luke and Pete Show studio today. For some reason, as soon as Luke uttered the words, technically speaking, and he did say it like that, our technicals started blowing up and making weird noises. So we actually recorded about 45 minutes of just really glitchy, horrible audio. I've tried cleaning it up. Other people have tried cleaning it up and it's not

up to our usual standards. So what we're going to do for this Thursday slash Friday morning only, we are going to bring you a little bit of best of action and ten minutes of the show we're going to bring you anyway. So apologies if you're expecting a full brand new show. But there are some great little clips on this little

impromptu Luke and Pete show special. We've got a stoned man stealing a monkey from a zoo. We've got people smuggling weird stuff on planes. And thirdly, we've got Luke's cats going on a diet and going a little bit cat crazy, so to speak. Apologies for this weird best-of. Couldn't be helped. Microphones, compressors, Luke saying the word technicals.

It all came together and messed things royally up. So we'll be back on Monday with a brand new Look Good Pete Show. But ten minutes in, this is going to turn into a bit of a Look Good Pete Show special. Apologies. Yes, yes. Shut your nose, you fucking old cunt. It's the Look and Pete show. Coming at you.

Cleopatra coming at you. Cleopatra. What a modern reference. I'm Luke Moore and alongside me is the Jimmy Savile of podcasting, Mr. Pete Donaldson. Jewelry, jewelry, jewelry. Yeah. I might start wearing jewelry.

I wore a necklace for a costume last year, and I quite enjoyed the feel. I quite enjoyed the ceremony of putting a necklace on. You see, Charlie, who works in our office, has got a necklace these days. I've noticed it. I've noticed it, mate. Don't you worry about that. He's also got a funky little coin purse.

Do you know where it is? It's around his neck, but it's also in my back pocket to ridicule him when I need it. Okay, right. So what would you do? You'd sport a necklace, would you? Do you know what I'd like? One of those signet rings. It makes me look posh, but I need it. Okay, right. Yeah. So what would you do? You'd sport a necklace, would you? Perhaps a, do you know what I'd like?

One of those signet rings. We, it makes me look posh, but I'm not. We chatted to a bloke from Love Island for a project last week and he was wearing

one of those kind of bum bags but they go across the chest. Yeah, like Alex from Glastonbury. Yeah, that's the one, yeah. I mean, I'm getting

to the age where I can't make volt fasters. I can't make volt fasters. I can't make sharp turns. I can't make sharp turns. I can't dye my hair. But I'm thinking that would actually be quite useful in the summertime because you don't want a lot of keys and a hot phone in your pocket.

You could do it on those little bags that go across you. In the summertime. Do they still have a little quick-release clip, though? Because someone could just have that off you, couldn't they? What, if it's got a quick release clip or it doesn't have? If it does have one. Because they used to have a little pinch clip. Right.

Bump bags. Nobody's coming near my babies. Nobody's coming near my body. Don't come near my babies. Don't come near my babies. Yeah, well, I think there's absolutely nothing to stop you at the age of 38 rocking a bum bag over your shoulder, mate. You're right.

You're bloody right. Walking down the street looking like you're about to drop the most fire Hartlepool road rap record of 2019. Well,

Slow Ty was in the area. He's from Northampton, I think, isn't he? Yeah, but he was in the area doing a gig a little while ago. I like Slow Ty. I'm all for it.

He's a young chap. He's a young skinny chap. And that's all you can ask for. YouTuber King of Random dies in a paragliding accident. Who's that? I don't know who that is. I don't know.

It's still on the front page of the BBC website. Grant Thompson. Is that how you'd like to be remembered? YouTube King of Random. King of Random. Oh, so he's like a guy who just does shit on YouTube. We've lost two YouTubers recently, haven't we? It was an Instagram influencer who died on one of those little scooters.

Yes, there was. Very sad. It's Yes, there was. Very sad, yeah. It's weird, those things. You're allowed to import them, but they're not road legal and you're not allowed to ride them on the street. So what exactly are they for, exactly? I saw a woman riding one today

on my way to this office, going up the road just by the park there. And also, London, modern London, is littered with those little rideshare bikes where people just pop them down. The Lime bikes, the Uber ones. Yeah. It's just street trash.

London's letting itself down if those are still around and people haven't half-inched them. I mean, it's literally a free bike. Back in my day, any kid would be having it away. Well, it must be quite difficult to get rid of the GPS trick oh yeah the feds have always got your info now

and also I imagine the charges are probably quite difficult to figure out and also it's just a bit more too much fuss really but I remember there was a Chinese

ride share bike thing about five years ago and I think they lost billions of pounds on the deal because just the Chinese

just stole all the bikes brilliant speaking of data I should GPS data I watched that they lost billions of pounds on the deal because the Chinese just stole all the bikes. Brilliant. Speaking of data, speaking of GPS data, I watched that Netflix, I actually watched two documentaries on Netflix yesterday, and the first one I was going to say to you,

it's just reminded me, is one called The Great Hack. Right. Have you seen it? Is it the Cambridge Island? Yeah, have you heard of it? I've heard of it, yeah. It's quite good.

It's a trailer. Quite good. I'm just always constantly confused that I'm just always constantly confused that people genuinely get shocked by this

sort of business like with the face up thing people say oh they've got access to your photographs and they can use them in perpetuity

it's like Facebook has all of that lockdown they've done that for years but the reason the great hack was perhaps more interesting

because I think a lot of people don't really think about it. They don't make the connection. They just think, oh, Facebook's nice for watching funny videos or keeping up with my family

or whatever. They don't think about those ramifications. So that's point number one. But point number two is The Great Hack went down quite an interesting angle which was

there are people campaigning for your data rights to now be sat alongside human rights because data is one of the most valuable commodities in the world right so you didn't give you didn't you did give permission for some of your data to be taken but you didn't give permission for all of your data to be taken and the idea is if it's a commodity if it's something that people are trading on the new york stock exchange for billions and billions of dollars every year yeah then if it comes from you, it's yours, and you should have been paid for it.

Agreed. So in future, data rights should be sat alongside human rights. And that was kind of an interesting angle. But I think, sadly for us, the only sort of organisation that I can really think of that's doing anything about that is the EU, and they are about to leave us. 2.1 billion

no deal plan. Oh, we're leaving them actually. To maintain things like medicine. I've only started to stop piling my ass

on medication. Yeah. Don't you worry about that guys. I actually met a, it's serious that, but I actually met a lady

a couple of weeks ago at a barbecue I was at, and her daughter is disabled and needs this medication every day. And without it, essentially she'll die. Yeah. And it's awful to hear about. Would you trust the government in power?

She's got no, no, no, I wouldn't, Pete, because I'll tell you what, she told me directly, she's had no assurances at all. No one knows what's happening. No. So the poor old people working at the NHS

place near where they live obviously they're doing their best but they're not in charge of whether that can be obtained or not maybe

the disabled person can consume some Dunkirk spirit to lift her spirits at a difficult time some optimism have you tried prescribing yourself

some optimism three times a day have you tried some Dunkirk spirit, madam? Yeah. Rub it on your legs. I don't know what's wrong with that, but rub it on yourself

and you'll be fine. You're not the doctor, so it's fine. It's perfectly acceptable. It's perfectly acceptable. Exactly right. Pete, in slightly more familiar territory

to our listeners, I have been looking... Touching a dolphin? No. I've been looking at some more news stories on the BBC Newsround site. Okay, right. Oh, the Newsround site. And there's a brilliant, I'll tell you what,

the Newsround section of the BBC website is arguably, and I will use that word under advice, arguably the most interesting part of the BBC website. Even those kind of like, you know, in your face exposes of, you know, child exploitation in Rwanda. Those kind of nice, kind of like scrolly down things

where the pictures move and do crazy things and then charts and things. Hashtag long read. Hashtag long read. No, this one. What about this? Devon volcano up for sale

for 50 grand. Oh, I saw that. It's fun. Fun, fun, fun. It's shrouded by trees, isn't it? Only in the UK could you have a volcano,

a magnificent force of nature, seen all over the solar system, sign of signal of great power, spawning. Have you been reading my grinder? Yeah. A magnificent. Spawning legends, spawning historical stories, Zeus, all the rest of it,

could be called POSBRIE CLUMP. POSBRIE CLUMP? Yeah. That's a fuck you, isn't it? In Devon, could be called POSBRI CLUMP. POSBRI CLUMP? Yeah. That's a fuck you, isn't it? In Devon, they've called this inactive volcano. Admittedly, it's inactive. POSBRI CLUMP. It's like a FOSBRI FLOP.

Yeah, it is a bit. It's got its own woodland, and it's not likely to explode or erupt anytime soon. But 50 grand, not bad. That's the thing I never understand, because volcanoes and forces of God and stuff just happen when they happen. It must be interesting to sort of like, surely scientists have been blindsided by things before

where, oh, suddenly the clump is now an active volcano and it's spewing out lava. Watch out, everybody. It's like Yellowstone, isn't it? It's a super volcano. Apparently it's tens of thousands of years overdue. Yeah. Ready to blow its top.

And it's so big it'll probably wipe out, I'm going to say, the whole of the US. It's got blue balls. It's got volcano blue balls. Yeah. It needs to bust at some point. It needs to bust an hour. Bust an hour.

One thing I do have a kind of issue with on this story is this volcano is apparently 250 million years old. 250 million year old piece of geological history. Technically speaking, the Earth is four and a half billion years old anyway. And it was at about this point our microphones went a bit crazy and we had to abort recording. And here is the best of. Enjoy. We're back on Monday with a new look at Pete Shaw. Microphones willing. Good.

All right. Something that really grabbed my attention this week, Pete, and I'm hoping you're unaware of this because it's so up your street, that for me the sweet spot is finding something that you're passionately interested in, but also that you haven't already seen. And because you're part internet, it's very, very difficult to do that. Now, tell me if the headline for this story floats your boat.

And I hope it floats those listening as well, their respective boats. Boats. A lot of boats knocking about. Yeah. Listen to this. Stoned Kiwi, as in man from New Zealand. Yes. Breaks into zoo.

Mm-hmm. Gets bashed by tiny monkeys. Gets bashed by tiny monkeys. Gets bashed? A 23-year-old man who was high decided he wanted to grab and take home a squirrel monkey. Now, there's many problems with that, of course. Cruelty to animals being one. Two being, apparently, it would massively break quite stringent security and public health protocols

in New Zealand, because they've got a big thing about invasive species and all that kind of stuff. If indeed it was in New Zealand, but anyway, I imagine it would be a public health risk anyway. But anyway, apparently he grabbed some bulk croppers, smashed through a couple of padlocks because he noticed that I think the security on that particular enclosure wasn't great.

It was the easiest monkey to grab. I mean, yeah, and you would probably think that if someone said to you, right, this message was self-destructing in a minute, but here's what you've got to do. I'm going to kill all your family or whatever. You've got to go and steal any type of primate. I would watch that film. From a zoo.

Yeah, it would be a good film. You'd probably go, I mean, you would be forgiven for going for a squirrel monkey because they're small. They're quite small, yeah. And adorable. They've got cute little noses. So apparently he goes ahead and tries to do this. He bypassed an unsecured gate, broke through two padlocks.

And it wasn't his inn. It was at Wellington, in Wellington Zoo, apparently. He was in a catch-one at the zoo, squirrel monkeys. He wanted to take it home to his girlfriend. I mean, the exuberance of youth. What actually happened? Sadly, two of the squirrel monkeys were injured in this incident, which obviously is dreadful.

But the name of the guy, which escapes me, John someone, John sadly came out of the cage with a broken leg, two fractured teeth, a sprained ankle, and bruises all over his body. Sorry? How did he do that? They just descended on him. You can't break someone's leg. He clearly just fell over.

How many of them though? Listen, you know that age old question about would you rather fight like a lion sized duck? Well, he got his answer, didn't he? Yeah. He got his answer. They're the injuries he came out with. How did he get the two fractured teeth? Why don't you give him a right hander?

I love it. I love that. Smashed a nut in his face. The squirrel monkeys are not squirrels, Pete. Don't be a dick. The only thing that could make this story better would be if he came out covered in monkey shit because they were just flinging shit at him from the tree.

I think I always find that chimps throwing shit and monkeys throwing shit has been a bit of a misnomer. I worked in a zoo. I never saw that happen. I saw the mastabate lots of times. Because they see you as a kindred spirit. That's why. But apparently this guy,

he was wanted for a load of unrelated offences anyway. Oh, monkey-related offences? Or does that count as unrelated? Other ones, yeah, other ones. And so I think he ended up going inside for a bit. But apparently, yeah, squirrel monkeys only grow to 35 centimetres and weigh no more than a kilo.

Oh, that's so cute. But they've got the largest brain-to-body mass ratio of all the primates. Including us. So they're probably out-thoughting. Setting a series of challenges so he can get out. Like Home Alone. Yeah, it is. But there you go.

So I thought you'd enjoy that, mate. I did enjoy that. You hadn't seen that story before, no? No, I hadn't. And on the football ramble our other our sister station our mother station

if you will our mother ship I had a nightmare didn't I with the old monkeys I was trying to count to ten kinds of monkeys you didn't even say

squirrel monkey no I didn't they don't come to mind to be honest but I did say lemurs were monkeys they are primates but they're

I was surprised when you said that and I called you out on the show and I think it's a sort of error that a man of your estimable knowledge shouldn't be inestimable

I got confused by their tails I always think because all monkeys have tails macaques are monkeys but lemurs as far as I understand lemurs have evolved independently and you only get them on what

Madagascar maybe and so that that's why they've evolved completely different to everything else more natural predators predators on the two tongues oh is that right yeah one one hard tongue to um groom each other i'll keep going i'd love a second it's not one of those japanese porn movies um you know also um one thing that's fascinating about that you know the the species native to madagascar called the aye-aye? It's got a really long finger.

Apparently, evolutionary speaking, that finger performs exactly the same role as woodpeckers do in Northern Europe. Ah, exactly the same thing.

Yeah. Tapping, tapping, and pulling out bugs and that kind of stuff. Grubs and that kind of stuff. It works in exactly the same way,

but it's evolved independently. Divergent evolution, I think it's called or convergent evolution they look like they look like bats they're weird little things you never see if you ever

are lucky enough to be in a zoo where there's an AI you will rarely see them because I think they're almost completely nocturnal they're incredibly

strange things they've got one at Bristol Zoo and it's almost impossible to see it and it's in the what would you call the enclosure

where it's always night time a nocturnal enclosure. And it just sits at the back. But the thing about that is, the reason they became so endangered is because local people thought that they would steal their souls

if they caught eye contact with them. Which, if you come from a different background to us, I mean, it's sort of understandable, really. That's a spooky looking animal. Yeah, absolutely. If I saw one now, if I'm walking back down you know upper street

in Islington and I'm presented with an IR going through one of the bins I would shit a brick I'd absolutely shit a brick but it's like he's like the

I don't think he's the spookiest Paul Bearer from the wrestling if you saw Paul Bearer walking down the street that's his full name Paul Bearer from the wrestling

if you saw him walking down the street with an urn you'd be like oh he's standing away from that guy he's either spooky or mental

I'm not having either no he could be both I've got a situation where a fox If you saw him walking down the street with an urn, you'd be like, oh, it's standing away from that guy. But I find it... He's either spooky or mental. I'm not having either. No, it could be both. I've got a situation where a fox keeps digging up my garden. Yeah. So I have to keep going out there and repairing the flower beds and stuff. And if I go out there on my own at night and I come face to face with a fox, I wouldn't say I'm scared, but there's like an element of sort of intimidation.

Yeah. And that's just a fox. Yeah. And I know I've read that tabloid story years ago about the fox that stole that baby or whatever. I know that's probably not true. I can't really remember the detail.

But there's an element of sort of jeopardy there. If you were living in Africa or somewhere where they actually have quite dangerous animals, I mean, you went out to your back garden. I mean, it happens up in where my wife's from. Sometimes you get bears going through the bins and stuff. I mean, you absolutely shit yourself. I've got to go camping in Zimbabwe in a few weeks time

that's a curveball please tell me more I've got to go remember I went to Kenya last year and I saw that hippo get hit in the face with a tray

by the way I've got to go to Zimbabwe in a weeks time and I've got to bed down in a tent I believe.

What's the... Same charity, practical action. They do great work in, yeah, Zimbabwe apparently. Well, we look forward to hearing about that. Zimbabwe's like a...

Like, you've got to fly to either Nairobi or you've got to change in South Africa and fly back up again. It's crazy. Johannesburg, you've got to fly back up again.

You can't fly direct to Zimbabwe? No, 16 hours. Why can't you fly direct there? I don't know. It might be there. Are you sure you can fly to Harare, no? No, you can't fly direct. Or there's certainly nobody, not anymore anyway.

I was reading there. I think just the fact that the country's a bit of a fucking mess politically. I think it's all, Zimbabwe's not allowed to fly. They're one of those kind of banned airlines. I read only this morning. You've got a little sniffle. I've got a cough cough. I've had it for like two weeks. Terrible airlines. I read only this morning. You've got a little sniffle. I've got a cough cough. I've had it for like two weeks.

Terrible. I was reading only this morning, and it's going to sound like I'm saying this to shit you up, but I genuinely didn't read it, and that they've banned public assembly in the short term in Zimbabwe because there's been a cholera outbreak. Ooh. And I think they might be quite close to declaring a state of emergency.

Oh, good. Oh, good. That might just be anticipation of Utah. I'd be in with shots for Kenya, to be fair. But if it ruins my holiday, that's too much. It's not a holiday, it's a working trip. Okay, Luke, don't gunge me, mate. Pipe down, Pete.

I told you never to argue with the customers. Where do you think you're going, baby? Good point. Where do you think you're going, baby? Doesn't the video on that, she thinks she's cracking on with the lad. He's a gay man. He's a gay man. Yep.

He's a gay man. And we all have a bloody good laugh about it, don't we? Imagine not fancying child Charlie, Charlie, Charlie Red. Charlie Red. What's happened to you? Charlie Red Jetson. Imagine not enjoying the Jetsons. Meet his wife.

No, Jane, his wife. I can't remember the theme tune. Yeah, it was me, George Jetsons. Meet his wife. No, Jane, his wife. I can't remember the theme tune. Yeah, it was, Meet George Jetson. Jane, his wife. His boy, Elroy. Do the rest of the show like that. Best ever kids cartoon theme tune.

It's got to be... Whatever you're going to say, it's not going to be Ulysses, so shut up. I was going to say Ulysses 31. Yeah! High fives. Yeah! High fives.

Yeah, that was quite weak by you. Almost as weak as your handshake, Pete. But that's another story. I think people who mug people off with hard handshakes are pathetic. Mine isn't limp. It's firm. It's fine. It's tender, even.

It's not firm enough. I'd go in for the hug more times. To me, Pete, absolutely right. There's a lot of truth in what you're saying there. There's a sweet spot, okay? Those people who try and Donald Trump strong-arm you with a big, big heavy one, I ain't got time for those people. But those people who deliver up a lettuce leaf,

I don't want that either. Well, I was watching... Sweet spot. Yeah, but I'm happy with my handshake, especially because I have very small hands. Oh, how many irate, weak handshakes do you see around here? Just one. Yeah.

There's a bit actually talking about Donald Trump's strong-arming. There's a clip of, I've been watching WrestleMania recently because of the thingy Wrestle Me, the podcast Wrestle Me you should all listen to. Because Donald Trump is featured in two of them because they're in the Trump Plaza. I think it's 415? He turns up at a couple of them, doesn't he?

Yeah, well, he's interviewed by one of the presenters and he does this kind of power play where he just really stares at the person interviewing, really staring at them. He just doesn't break gears at all at any point. Right. Yeah, weird. He's a very strange man. Just men who've just spent too much time in finance

or around the wrong people. Yeah, quite. I don't think, well, everything you need to know about Donald Trump can probably be answered by an 80s self-help book, I expect. But I don't have any interest in telling other people what their politics should be and all the rest of it, and it's not about that. I do. You absolutely do, that's right.

But what it is about is less about politics and more about knowing a complete idiot when you see one. It's not political. The guy's an idiot, that's it. I've got no problem with people who have different opinions to me on politics, of course. But that guy is an idiot and it's only fair to say so.

Let's go into the emails, Peter. I'd like to start with this one, if it's okay with you. It's one we didn't get around to last time by a chap by the name of Damien Cunningham. Whoa, where do you think you're going, baby? Where do you think you're going, Damien? Yeah. Greetings, chaps, he says. The lad

who transported that toad from South Africa back to the UK, now I think that was probably three or four episodes ago, might feel as though he's incredibly unlucky to have done so, and he is to a degree. Like that from Damien. Nice little assessment of what's been going on so far. One of my mum's favourite TV shows is New Zealand Customs.

Well, it's a show about New Zealand customs, basically. So it's just people hiding cocaine in their pants and stuff like that. There's some lovely stories on that. In Australia and New Zealand, they are very, very hot on it. When I was out in New Zealand and I signed for a football team there, I got my parents to send my football boots over. Classic. I know.

And the captain of the team, he made up a story and got me to believe it, that New Zealand customs had impounded them because they have bits of British grass on them and they wouldn't let them come into the country. Anyway, but apparently they're very strict on it. Anyway, Damien also says... Are you comparing yourself to a drug lord? No. A drug drug lord? No. A drug baron?

No. No. Grass. I mean, actual grass. Importing cleats. Damon's got a couple of examples. Anyway, the reason he's emailed in is because he's got a couple of examples of things that have gone through airport customs in airports around the globe.

On that subject, by the way, there's an Instagram account worth following called TSA. Oh, right. Which is the American Airport Customs guys. And they do a great account of photographing stuff they've confiscated off flights. It's brilliant. There's amazing stuff on there.

There's some great... I think three Coachella's ago, they released basically a picture of some of the more interesting lost and found items they had. So many bow ties. A surprising amount of bow ties. Why do you reckon bow ties are lost so much? I don't know.

I mean, they didn't look like they were from waiting staff or anything, but, you know, Coachella, man. It's a crazy place. Damon said, anyway, in 2012, a man in New York at a regional airport tried to get a fully gassed up power chainsaw on his flight and was permitted to bring it on once he emptied out the fuel. That would just stink, wouldn't it? No matter how... It's still dangerous without a fuel. It's got spikes on it.

It's not that spiky, is it? You could bring a spike of a... Yeah, you could bring a two-teethed... If I took a chainsaw and stood you up there, took a chainsaw, didn't turn it on, and that took a massive swipe at you with it, it would hurt you. Yeah, but in the same way, you could probably bring a big hammer on them.

Could you bring a hammer? I don't think so. I brought a sword once onto a plane, but it was plastic. They have to be checked, they're blunt, don't they? That was in Sweden. Anyway, in 2009, apparently, according to Damien, a man travelling into Australia from Dubai was promptly arrested when in going through airport security for having two live pigeons

contained in padded envelopes strapped to his ankles. The man gave no rhyme or reason as to why he was transporting the feathered rats in such a manner. However, the most outrageous and daring case of smuggling contraband through airport customs only to fail miserably award goes to Gitta Jarentz and her stepdaughter Anka Anusik and Gitta's 91-year-old husband Kurt.

Although Kurt really should be exempt from any blame for this, and you'll see why. The German family were visiting Liverpool in 2010, and while there, Kurt tragically passed away. His wife and stepdaughter were clearly so distraught with this passing they abandoned all rational thinking and came down with a case of grief-stricken stinginess as they made their way back to Berlin.

They opted to put old dead Kurt into a wheelchair and had the audacity not to declare him deceased and transport him appropriately back to Berlin. They opted to put old dead Kurt into a wheelchair and had the audacity not to declare him deceased and transport him appropriately back to his homeland instead opting to put sunglasses on him

wheeling him about the airport in Liverpool and inform a suspicious airport security that he was a bit worn out from such a fun packed holiday. Look at him

give him a wave naturally it reminds me of the film is it Commando with Arnold Schwarzenegger where he snaps the guy's neck in the seat next to him

on the plane leave him he's dead tired naturally the airport that's the film this reminds you of naturally out of all the possible films

this is going to remind you of I was also going to say Weekend at Bernie naturally the airport staff weren't buying this Gitta and Anuska were detained and arrested

for not declaring a death as immediately as possible and a coroner concluded Kurt had been dead up for up to 12 hours. The ladies were eventually released on bail and claimed ignorance, while Kurt is probably in the unclaimed baggage locker to this day.

Prove you're more likely to die on the ground than on the air when travelling abroad. Just try not to become a weekend at Bernie's parody if you do die while on your travels. That's from Damien. That's wonderful. Oh, Kimmy Schmidt is back. Oh, right. I didn't really get into it.

I think it's on the fourth season. And there's so many people in my life sort of say that exact same thing. I can't get into it. And these are the same people who love 30 Rock. These are the same people who love Direct Development. I haven't seen it. Well, again, you like The Inbetweeners. So we're all ready.

You thought Inbetweeners was not as good as... No. So you said The Inbetweeners is better than Peep Show. Yeah. We've discussed thisers was not as good as... No. So you said the Inbetweeners was better than Peepshow. Yeah. We've discussed this on this show. I think it is.

Such a weird thing to say. I think Inbetweeners is... Genuinely, that makes me fear for the future of humanity and you as well. That's fair enough. You'll get electrocuted

at some point with that kind of behaviour. Is that a threat or a worry? But it's really good. It's back and it's really good after the disappointment

of the new Arrested Development season which isn't very good. The Kimmy Schmidt back is fantastic. Titus Andronicus back on form. Have you ever seen

The Good Place? Yes, and I didn't care for it. I quite like that I watched the first couple of episodes and yeah we've spoken about that before haven't we

I think we might have done it Ted Danson's having some kind of he's having a bit of an Indian summer isn't he a resurgence a resurgence but you're never really out of the game fully

if you're an actor with that sort of experience under your belt though you might have a few fallow years but at some point someone's going to bring you back because they're going to

it's like John Travolta isn't it with Pulp Fiction I think that The Man From Highlander should come back. Christopher Lambert, is that him? Yes. I wonder what he's been up to. He's been... He's done a few bits and bobs.

You know he's legally blind. He... All of his scenes... Isn't that a film with Reese Witherspoon? What? That's back as well with a new one. Yeah, he... He accidentally...

He can't act with his spectacles on unless spectacles are required, but he's got such extreme myopia, he has to film all of his scenes completely blind and he's damaged himself on more than one occasion because of a sharp sword here and there. Really? That's funny. I thought you were going to say, he's got such extreme myopia, he will not listen to anyone else's opinions. What else has he been doing since Highlander?

Just bits and bobs. Apart from Highlander 2, The Quickening, obviously. The Quickening. Yeah, I can't see anything in his list here that I recognise. No, but again, he's still working. He's due a resurgence. Oh, he's in Hail Caesar. Isn't that a Coen Brothers movie?

Oh, yeah. I haven't seen it. The trailer looked amazing. The film was dreadful. And also due for a resurgence, and I think someone who should come back as a baddie. You know that guy in, I can't remember his damn name now, but he was in, he was the man who owned the advertising billboard shop

in Three Billboards. I haven't seen it. Right. Well, he is a man. Three Billboards cast. i'm googling it the man caleb landry jones i think he's a singer as well okay he has got such an interesting horrible face he's so good in everything i've seen and he's going to be a big big star of anthony hopkins scale i think oh i do recognize him he's wonderful He looks a bit like...

He's so creepy. Yeah, he looks a bit like a sort of Macaulay Culkin when he was in that difficult phase. So, this is what I'm saying. Macaulay Culkin needs to come back as a baddie in a film and he'd be brilliant at it. He would. And that kid you're talking about there

is the son of the family in Get Out. Yes, he is, yeah. He plays a lot of brothers, plays a lot of shitty brothers in Get Out. Yes, he is, yeah. He plays a lot of brothers, plays a lot of shitty brothers in stuff. He was in, oh God, he was in a film called, a film with Michael Pena and one of the Scarsguards quite recently.

Okay, right. I love misremembering films. What were we talking about at the top there before? I was going to say something and you sidetracked me with your four-month-long. Macaulay Culkin. No, it was way before that. Yeah, of Landry Jones. Oh, there before? I was going to say something, and you sidetracked me with your four-month-old. Macaulay Culkin. No, it was way before that. Yeah, of Landry Jones.

Oh, that's what I was going to tell you, because we normally sort of talk a little bit about what we've been up to. And I had to take my two cats, Hercules and Magnus, to the vet for their annual check-up. Right. Which is a faff. Still a cat, Mr. Moore. Yeah, they're both... Still a couple of bloody cats, mate.

That's what the vet said. They're both cats, obviously. And anyway, on the third appointment, because I had to cancel the first two because they wouldn't come in because they got some sort of weird sixth sense and they know they're going to the vet and they don't want to do it,

so they just disappear. I took them to the vet and they were fine. But sadly, Peter... One of them started smoking. Yeah, yeah. Have you been smoking, Hercules? No, they're both overweight. They've both put on a kilo.

Ah, fat cats. So they've had to go on diets, right? Yes. One of them, Hercules, has taken it on the chin. He's been all right about it. He's been stoic. He's just getting on with it. And the other one, Magnus, who's a diva anyway, has gone completely mad to the point of where he walked up to the other one

the other day and smacked him upside the head and hissed in his face because he's so hungry. And when we got back from the World Cup party on last Monday night... He'd eaten a battered sausage.

He'd brought in a massive frog. Yeah. Did he not eat it? Nope. Oh, he just brought it in. You know frogs are... Is that misbehaviour though? That's what cats do

isn't it showing off what's attention all that kind of stuff and I felt sorry for the frog obviously I picked the frog

I put it outside and hoped it would it would be okay but it wasn't I had to bury it the next day but anyway the weird thing about it was

I don't know drink had been taken it was late at night. I ate the frog. The frog was covered in what was, what I didn't know at the time, was cat hair. Right.

So I was like, what sort of animal is this? It took me ages to work it out. So yeah, they've been playing up badly. When I was in Korea with Mark, who does the other podcast, Wrestle Me. Wrestle Me. yeah um he was convinced uh he likes it he likes the way he stories mark but he um he was convinced

that he was looking in the window of a pet shop uh and he saw like a uh a hedgehog but with really long spindly legs and then when he kept looking at it, the man ran over and covered up the cage with a cloth. This didn't happen. This is the plot of Gremlins. That's what he said. He said there was a hedgehog with big, long spindly legs. And it's actually quite an evocative image, a hedgehog. So what was it?

We never found out because the man covered up the cage. Surely you'd be asking questions. Yeah, he would be asking questions. Surely you'd be going, I'm Sarah Koenig and this is cereal. Over the next 10 weeks, we're going to find out what it was in that pet shop. That's a great theme. Hello at LukeandPetra.com. What is the oddest animal that you can't explain that you've seen in a pet shop?

We'll get loads of emails about that. Loads. Yeah. This was a Stakhanov production.