The Luke and Pete Show - Episode 199.55: Black pudding volcano

Episode Date: September 23, 2019

In seismic news, not just for the LAPS community but the UK cultural scene at large, the members of seminal pop-punk band One Eyed Willy reformed for one night only to see Less Than Jake at the O2 Academy Birmingham. Founding member Pete Donaldson explains all.Elsewhere, there's the usual mixture of bull semen, AirBnB stories, full English breakfasts, UFOs and loads more. You know the drill by now.To complain or suggest things to make the show better: [e-mail]***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

guess it's back back again it's pete and luke on the luke and pete show i've just gone to pick up a a little cup of tea a little cup of coffee and then i remembered i drank it all oh very disappointing uh how are you doing, Luke? Good. Episode 199.55. Yes. A really important one. Yeah, exactly. A real totem pole in a sea of non-totem poles.

It's my fault for numbering them in the first place. It's your fault for your approach to admin. Yep. But we are friends, so we'll gloss over it. Colleagues, yep. Colleagues. Correct. Firm colleagues.

See how the Ramble Live tour goes, ramblelive.com, if you want to come and see us. Yeah, that's starting on Thursday, isn't it? Exciting. Can't wait. I've hurt my knee. Luke, I was at a gig over the weekend. I had a perfect weekend.

Almost perfect weekend. Talk us through it. Friday, went up to see my sister and her niece. Your niece, her child. Sorry, her niece. No, your niece, her child. How do you know? How could we go to see her niece? You never know. I do know. Alright.

It was my niece and her child. And we had a lovely afternoon. Little baby Emma has discovered that I have disposal income and I will spend it on ice cream. So we are now firm friends. Oh yeah, that's how it works. That's how it works.

A little bribe hero there. You should have been there when my niece Betsy discovered that Aunty Mimi, obviously my wife, rhymes with Aunty Wee Wee. Yes, nice. And then I automatically became Uncle Poo Poo.

Yes. Now we're Wee Wee and Poo P then I automatically became Uncle Poopoo. Yes. Now we're wee-wee and poopoo. That's lovely, old chap. Yeah. So I got a birthday video from her the other day, and obviously my sister or my brother or an aunt got the camera on her, and when it starts she just goes, Uncle Poopoo! Yeah, and that's your favourite ablution, isn't it? It is, actually, yeah.

Out of all of them. Yeah. That's good. I'm a very regular. But carry on how how is baby emma good how old is she now uh she's two um she's just turned two i think um she is very big in to japan big in japan yeah she hates dinosaurs right she's kind of weird because kids love dinosaurs no they do normally she's interested in them but very scared of them yeah and um my

sister's got a new phone so i I put like a filter thing on it so she can make her into a pirate. And she very much enjoyed looking like a pirate. Yeah, I bet. That was very... What do highlights call it? Pirate techniques. I can imagine you and her now, she's two,

have quite a lot in common. Hugely. Yeah. Like little filters make her look like she's a talking sausage. I'm a sausage. Yeah. You're describing essentially most encounters I have with you. Yeah. Like little filters make her look like she's a talking sausage. I'm a sausage. Yeah. You're describing essentially most encounters I have with you. Yeah, exactly.

She is the most charming member of the Donaldson slash 1S family. Tribe. Very enjoyable. Tribe, did you say? Tribe. Tribe, yeah. Tribe! My niece instantly, when she was born,

just became my favourite human being in the world. Usually. Straight away, like instantly. It wasn't even like a thing I had to worry about bang straight away that's it and then I went down to Birmingham

to reunite with some members of the celebrated ska punk duo One Eyed Willy they weren't duo sorry trio in this case

but they were originally a quartet just call them a band just call them a band the seminal One Eyed Willy how many releases? 6 gigs 6, 7 gigs something like that but it was like Manchester Free Trade Hall right? It's called a band. The seminal One Eyed Willie. How many releases? Six gigs. Six, seven gigs.

But it was like Manchester Free Trade Hall, right? It was on proper like... The significance culturally was big in that area. Well, Dom, the drummer, reminded me that we did dress up as the Three Kings

one Christmas to do a gig and we gave away a PlayStation we found in the street. So that if you, you know, if you ever come into a One Eyed Willie gig, that's what you expect. Is it Ska Punk covers?

It was Ska Punk Covers. And we went to see the band Say Ferris, Goldfinger, and also Less Than Jake as well. What a line-up. What a line-up. I did what can only be described as something I went to the front of during Less Than Jake, their final thing. They were doing the entirety of one of their albums,

which was very fun because it was very much the album that I remember when I was a kid. And we went right in the front and then there was this constant circle pit going and everyone running around and pushing and stuff and lots of crowd surfers and stuff like that. Everyone about your age? Yeah, everyone about my age.

They've got the, you know, the kids are with the childminder and they've got the night off and they are cosplaying as their 20-year-old selves. And it's a lot of fun. And I'm right in the front and I was like, I'm going to jump in that. I'm going to jump in that circle pit i'm gonna start running around

jumped in it i was on a bouncy castle two weeks ago uh and i have never been more exhausted because you can't really stop your legs are just constantly moving you've got to stop yourself from falling over exhausting immediately and i was like wow i've not been on a bouncy castle for a while i'm exhausted i'm so unfit this is horrible. I had the same feeling with this. You can't switch off at any moment because when I'm playing football, I go as fast as I need to. I work as hard as I think I need to.

Or when I have a run around, that's basically on my terms. In a circle pit, you've got to be on. You've got to be protecting yourself. You've got to be pushing people back in there. And I was in agony in about five seconds. It was horrible you lost one song i lasted less than one song yeah straight back in rock city starting on your

head and tapping your foot yep definitely definitely yeah sort of looking iron up the bar what's the name of the uh album that you identified with i bloody remember now it was less than jake they were playing they've seen this the biggest of those three then are they uh yeah seems to be i think they've been doing it I mean they've obviously been doing it for a long time but Goldfinger

have get a bit nerdy but they've kind of absorbed members of like MXPX and stuff which were obviously quite a big

pop punk band as well at the time is it Hello Rockview it was Hello Rockview that's correct thought it might be and I remember

Goldfinger from Tony Hawk's Pro Skater Superman here I am holding on to what I can that just reminds me That's correct. I thought it might be. And I remember Goldfinger from... Tony Hawk's Pro Skater, Superman. Here I am, holding on to what I can. Bang! That just reminds me of being in halls at uni.

Yeah. That song was all over my uni hall. Greg Stammer sounds like you had a good time. I had a bloody great weekend. Oi, you were... Rolling back the years. It didn't feel like it. No.

Oh, the queues in Birmingham O2 Academy. Fuck that. Piss, piss off. What, for the toilets, the queues in Birmingham O2 Academy. Fuck that. Piss, piss off. What, for the toilets or the bar? No, for the bar. Like, they just didn't have, have, if you've got a packed, you know,

they're not kids. They're all like 30-somethings at least. So they're going to be drinking. They're going to be drinking your real ales. They're going to be drinking your Carlsberg and your Heineken. Get somebody just filling up the pints, filling up the pints,

because you'll always sell them. You'll always sell the pints, filling up the pints, because you'll always sell them. You'll always sell the pints. Fill up the pints. You'll sell most of them. The Pete Donaldson. Fill up the pints. It just took a long time. You know...

46 quid for a round. Piss off. Bloody hell. I say two beers as well. I know. Pete, you know you're known as a very generous man and you like to chuck your money around

and all the rest of it. I have to say, not in a vulgar way. You're just a generous chap. The Ramble live shows, for example, if we go to the bar afterwards, which we normally do, and you're going to stand people around, but there's obviously loads of people there,

what's the most amount of beers you would buy, do you think, for a group of people? Well, I can't do it every night, can I? No, no, we're just saying, in principle. But then, you know... So you go into the bar after the show, there's people milling about. Yeah.

So there's a couple hundred people in the bar. Yeah. And you go up to the bar and people see it's you and you start chatting to people. You know how it goes. You're buying four beers anyway for some friends.

Mm. There's people just hanging around. Mm. What's the most you would go to? Well, I think I did about four at Wrestle Me Live a couple weeks ago. That's much lower than I thought you'd say.

What do you mean? Like, yeah, but it depends, doesn't it? Would you not just go 20 beers? Just 20 beers, put them in the bar every once in a while and come and get them. Not at King's Place. Not at Hackney. Oh, well, Hackney would be alright, wouldn't it? Around the corner, that little pub around the corner.

Oh, King's Place is in King's Cross, isn't it? King's Cross, yeah. Yeah. I don't think I can hang around after that. I've got a lot of bloody work, haven't I? Which is rubbish. Oh, dear. It's the only day I can get off.

Oh, dear. Never mind. Never mind. Don't say that on the live broadcast. I mean, sorry, yeah, I'll definitely have to hang. I've got a lot of bloody work, haven't I? Which is rubbish. Oh dear. It's the only dirt I can get off. Oh dear. Never mind. Don't say that on the live broadcast. I mean, sorry, I'll definitely be there. Definitely be there. I was going to ask you about this. Speaking of pop punk, there's Tom DeLonge from Blink-182 and UFOs.

DeLongos. I don't understand this story. I need you to explain it to me. Well, he's been a long-standing fan of the UFOs. Apparently, if you talk to him, he'll just fan of the UFOs apparently if you talk to him he'll just start talking about UFOs

basically he's just big into it and he's obsessed with them something's out there etc and that's all he talks about really

but yeah now thanks to him I think there was some kind of declassified data or videos that was found or leaked

or something to the press. I like to think they were leaked just to stop people from storming Area 51. What do you reckon? Because they were leaked on the same week. It's a good theory. Obviously, Area 51, there was going to be a big meet-up. In the end, it was just a couple of people smoking bifters outside

and a bit of a party. But nobody got shot, nobody got hurt, which is a good thing, obviously. But also, it wasn't that very well attended, and nobody stormed anything. They just had a bit of a party yeah but nobody nobody got shot nobody got hurt which is a good thing obviously but also it wasn't that very well attended and nobody stormed anything they just had a bit of a party well they were talking about um they were talking about on i'm gonna say pod save the world or maybe positive america about how the organizers of it it just got way out of hand yeah and they were worried that it was going to turn into like a fire fest type thing yeah there was no infrastructure was there? Yeah, and they didn't have any toilets, didn't have enough water or food for anyone.

And so they kind of pulled it from the Facebook page. But I liked that the official name of it was Storm Area 51. They can't stop all of us. But then I guess it was just people. I think 200 people turned up in the end and left peacefully after what the police called heated warnings. Just stoned up their mind. Love it. Eating like hash brown, hash cookies and stuff.

Not hash browns. I mean, that wouldn't do anything. I love hash browns. I died too yesterday at Thomas, not Thomas Pickering. What's that kind of Canadian fast food outlet where you can just kind of have a bit of everything? Thomas Pickering.

You know, Thomas Pickering. We'll go to one in Toronto I've never heard of it I don't even know what the ballpark you're in here no exactly

I couldn't tell you it's outside Birmingham New Street station I don't know that much what is your must have items on an English breakfast

then black pudding yeah straight away if I could just have a plate of compacted black pudding into a big volcano

with maybe a bit of maybe a bit of maybe a bit of tomato sauce coming out the top like lava I would very much like to eat that

you've just put me off the niffle life imagine a big volcano like close encounters just kind of built up on your plate yeah and then

like a torrent like of lava coming out the top of tomato sauce I'd have a bit of that there'll be a torrent coming out of my mouth in a minute

if you carry on that. I'd go sausage, bacon, scrambled eggs, beans, hash browns, and some nicely cooked tomatoes. Yeah. You're a bit of a tomato dodger though, usually, aren't you? No, I'm not. No, you take your tomatoes out of your burgers, don't you?

I like... It's slimy. I only like cooked tomatoes. Right, okay. I don't like... No, I like small... I like the cherry ones. Little babas. I don't like big, uncooked ones. Right, okay. I don't like, no, I like, I like small, I like the cherry ones. Little babas.

I don't like big, uncooked ones. Right, okay. I don't know why that is. They've got a bit of a weird taste to me. What do you mean? I think cooked tomatoes are really like,

I must just take the sting out of them or something. Yeah, you're right. Yeah, the addition of oil does give it a certain something. I wouldn't, I wouldn't pick, but.

I've got something for you here, Pete. So when you were doing, you were reliving your youth. Right. I was doing something that you will no doubt laugh at me for um which is uh mimi had her aunt and uncle over for uh for by an mp from the u.s uh yeah auntie auntie had um had her aunt and uncle over who were very good friends with and close to because uh her uncle actually married us did the blessing for our marriage and we stay there whenever we go over there they came to visit

and on saturday we took them to q gardens which is an amazing spot it's a beautiful day for it Her uncle actually married us. He did the blessing for our marriage and we stay there whenever we go over there. They came to visit. And on Saturday, we took them to Kew Gardens, which is an amazing spot. It was a beautiful day for it as well. And there's a brilliant art exhibition there, sculpture exhibition at the moment, by a guy called Dale Chihuly, who's been around for a long time.

I think he's quite an old guy now. And he does these amazing glass-blown sculptures which look like almost like hyper real plants. So when you put them in Kew Gardens they just dropped in and rounded places. They just look amazing. It looks like it looks a bit like

the grounds opened up and these weird fairy dimensions come out. It's amazing. Anyway, they've got a lot of interesting species there as you would imagine. It's a beautiful place to spend a day

particularly when the weather is nice. But I found this tree in there called the Morrisris bees gum tree now listen to the write-up of this you'll love this it says this gum tree is endemic to southeastern tasmania where it is restricted to only two small populations made up of approximately 2 000 mature plants it starts by producing seeds when it reaches maturity, which takes approximately 10 years. Don't we all? Its seeds are serotonous. Or serotonous, sorry.

Its seeds are serotonous, meaning they require an environmental trigger to be released. And in Morris B. Gumm's case, the trigger is fire. Seeds are stored within button-shaped pods up in the canopy and they remain tightly closed until a fire comes along and melts the resin sealing them shut. Brilliant. And the seed then falls onto the fertile bed of ash that the fire leaves behind.

That's amazing. That's the only way they reproduce. That is... How mad is that? You're just hoping for a... Do they stay in stasis until that happens, though, or do they just start to rot after a while? It doesn't say, but I think...

I guess no oxygen's getting to them, so why would they? It's an amazing thing, right? That's fantastic. Evolutionary speaking, over millions of years, that has learned or adapted... To forest fires. To forest fires, basically. It's an incredible situation.

It's just weird. There's no need for gods. I know, right? It's just not a need for gods, is there? And it puts in that mind of that Darwin kind of quote where he says it's not the strongest

or the fastest or the cleverest species that survive it's the ones most adaptable to change the most receptive to change basically incredible stuff

anyway I really enjoyed it I'd recommend going I'm not sure how the exhibition's on for of course the Morrisby's gum tree will be there

forever but the sculpture exhibition which is well worth a turn of the head I don't know when it runs to but get yourself over there I think it was only about

15 quid to get in not terrible it's a massive massive place beautiful place to walk around of an afternoon are you allowed to get your lighters out and melt the resin

you can't really get close to them nah you can get close to some of them but they're glass not resin oh you mean the trope the seeds oh the seed

I didn't think about that that would have been brilliant. Get your lighter out. I should have done that. I didn't think about it because that's not where my mind goes, Pete Donaldson. But you can also,

one for you and your lot, you can drink beer in there. What, you're allowed to just whirl around quaffing? I'm going to say yeah. That's the thing. All the posh places, you're allowed to drink alcohol.

Football, nah. Isn't that so true? The UK class system is such that middle class, upper class people will be allowed to do whatever they want, essentially. Anyway, so that was good. What else have I got for you? What else have I been doing?

What else have you got for me there, Lukey? Planning for the tour, really. That's pretty much it. It's taken a lot of planning. Yeah, well, I hurt my knee during Lesson J, because I'm hoping that my dance, I may or may not be doing. I think people would be... My performance.

I think of the Luke and Pete show audience. Not all of them are Ramble listeners, of course, but a lot of them are. But one of the best things of preparation for this tour so far is Pete took us through one of his set pieces, which I won't reveal here because you'd have to come to see it and see it for yourself. But he took us through it and there was a moment in it

where you were being so energetic with the moves you were making and you were knackered and there was spittle at the sides of your mouth. And the hair flopped over the front. You looked exactly like Bruno Gantz in Downfall. Playing Adolf Hitler. Yeah, God rest him. So it was pretty engaging and dramatic stuff. Yeah.

Let's take a little break because I'll tell you what. People will say I say this all the time. I don't. I say this when it's relevant. We have got some truly magnificent emails this week, so stick around. Hey, y'all, it's Farmer Meemaw. And today I'm going to show you what I've been doing

to take care of the pantry moth situation. Pantry moths. They're moths that live in your pantry. It's not just a clever name. Do what they say on the tin. It's not an ironic name. No. You go first, Peter.

All right, and baby doll, I've got an email from... Alex. Hi, guys. Adding on to the chat about Airbnbs in episode 199.52, people are getting on board. They are.

And others in the past, I'd like to share my own Airbnb experience. It was my first time using Airbnb and already a bit apprehensive about staying in someone's home. What was to come next would only add to this. After a long day exploring Berlin, my friend and I returned to the flat, both needing to use the bathroom, as you do. This, however, would prove not to be possible. We returned to see that our host was currently in the bathroom and then could hear that he was clearly not alone.

currently in the bathroom, and then could hear that he was clearly not alone. Oh dear. What followed was the longest half an hour of our lives, pondering whether we could get away with pissing in his extensive collection of potted plants, whilst mourning continued from the bathroom. Eventually, the torture ended and the plants were left unharmed. That torture, however, didn't really end, and the rest of the trip spent in the flat felt incredibly awkward. Safe to say, I completely agree with Luke's reservations towards Airbnb. Alex, I have never stayed

in an Airbnb where I haven't had the run of the place tick entire home always tick entire home apart from when the guy

was in that rocking chair yes that was an unwelcome addition to the amenities you've got the whole home you've got the whole home there isn't a man in there

you'll need it to run away from the serial killer yeah we saw a couple we had a couple I need it to run away from the serial killer. We saw a couple, we had a couple, I'm going to talk to you a bit about your email discipline in a minute anyway. I'll address it live on this show.

Okay. We got a couple of emails from people saying Airbnbs are effectively illegal in New York City. Is that right? I think they're against most of the, just being a landlord or having, you have to have like certain things. It's like in Japan, they've taken like 99% of the Airbnbs

off the system because the government said, if you're running effectively, what is a hotel? You need this insurance, you need this insurance, you need to tick a load of boxes. I think New York is kind of getting that way as well.

All right. Fair enough. Because someone emailed saying there was a lot of signs everywhere saying don't go to Airbn way as well. All right. Fair enough. Because someone emailed saying there was a lot of signs everywhere saying don't go to Airbnbs or whatever. But anyway. Would that not just be a hotel lobby group sort of paying some flyers to...

Well, hotels are notoriously expensive in New York City, so it could be linked. They're ridiculous. But one thing that people would have learned from listening to this show over the years would be that don't get involved in any kind of admin process with Pete Donaldson. Is that fair?

And I'm saying this to your face. I'm not saying that on your back. I mean, don't get involved. What's your point, Carla? My point is that I am in the unfortunate position where I have to share an email inbox with you for the purpose of this show. And what would make my life a lot easier, mate,

is if you look at the emails as you do, if you've decided that one of them, you've read it, but you don't think it's relevant, can you mark it as unread? Because I might be able to bring something tasty to the table with it. Hang on, so I've, yeah, but I star them when I like them? Yeah, I know, but I don't know which ones have been read and which ones haven't.

Which ones have been read? They all get read though, don't they? Yeah, but I want to be able to get into a situation where I see the ones that I haven't read. So if you mark them as unread after you've read them, I can see them. How would I do that? There's thousands of emails. Yeah, but most of them are...

Look at this one here, Pete. So for example, right? So this one here, right? I'll just fucking find one. I can't even find one now. That one there, right? You've read that. Subject from Matt.

Subject title, Bull Semen, right? You've read that and thought, I don't fancy that fine click on that and then click markers unread then Lukey

little Lukey comes along says oh I quite like the look of that one I might bring it to the table you should be reading all of them though that's not realistic is it I read every email that comes in why can't you yeah

I mean in between all of the shite that people send us with spam emails and stuff alright offers of live camming what is is it, like 20 per episode? You can pile through that easily. All right, fair enough. What about this one from Daniel?

Daniel. I wanted to say Danielle, but I just changed it last minute. Who sang that song, Daniel? Was it Bat for Lashes? I want to say it is. Yes, I think it is, yeah. Daniel's got in touch, and he's given us another song title with Brilliant Versions.

Okay. Remember, that's been a bit of a trope. We've had Come Together. We've had All Around the World. Yeah. Slash Around the World. He's brought another one to the table, and the song title is Hold On.

Yeah. Hi, Luke and Pete. Daniel here from episode 92, Never Arm Wrestler and Actor. P from episode 92 never arm wrestler and actor PS my arm still hasn't fully recovered upon searching popular songs with the same title

I think this one could be a winner hold on here's a list Korn Good Charlotte Limp Bizkit Tom Waits

Kansas Wilson Phillips Pearl Jam Santana 50 Cent En Vogue Yes Green Day

Nukers on the Block Freddie Mercury Deep Purple Stevie Wynwood Razorlight The Rascals Lou Reed There's all sorts

Alabama Shakes There's loads Mogwai There's loads A lot of those songs are bangers as well So I think the quality there is definitely there

Wilson Phillips is a banger Yeah that was Try not singing along to that Impossible Was it at the end of the Pridesmaids Hold on for one more day. What a film that is.

I should watch that again. I've been watching a lot of SNL and some of the best sketches were never made on air. Never got to air. Honestly. Was Kristen Wiig on SNL then? Yes, yeah.

The old guy there. Okay, it's a brilliant film. Anyway, thank you very much for that, Daniel. I mean, people are going to have to go some. I mean, I would probably question the quality of some of the songs from people like Limp Bizkit and possibly even Good Charlotte. But there you go. Overall, it's a pretty good list, pretty strong list.

Yes. Hello to Chris Hall. Hello, gents. He's 35 from Glasgow. Just giving us that bit of information. ASL. ASL. People should put the ASL? ASL.

People should put the ASL in every email. Anybody want a cyber? First of all, I've loved the show and have been listening since the days of Luke and Pete's summer. A first-time emailer, though. Pete, what does cyber mean? Does it mean you talk about having sex? Want to have cyber sex? Talking about having sex online?

Yeah. I used to, when I was a kid, I used to go into cyber... How old have I been? What, yeah, 97? So, when I was a kid, I used to go into cyber... How old have I been? What, yeah, 97? So 16-ish. I used to go into cyber sex chat rooms, and anybody want to cyber? And then they'd go, it's like location, I'll just make something up. Like female, you know, America, you know, 25 or something.

And then as soon as they went, yeah, all right, and I'd go, fart, shit, bollocks! And then go, sorry, my brother just went on my keyboard. I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. And then I'd do it, and then I'd get the trust back of everybody in the room, and then I'd do it again. You are a disgusting man, aren't you? All the while masturbating.

Hello to Chris Hall. I've just listened to your last show. No idea what number one, thanks to some questionable admin skills of he who shall not be named. And that's all the email said. See you later, Chris. No. I have become a meme of some prominence among my mates. Is that technically a meme?

Probably not. Yeah. The picture in question is the one attached. It's this one. Looking good, fella. Looking good. This looks like a bloke having a professional photo done. It's like a headshot for an actor, isn't it?

Yeah. One of my schoolmates saw it and thought it was hilarious. It's kind of funny, I suppose. He then shared it with several other schoolmates this happened about five years ago since then this picture has been used for all kinds of various situations but with a different text surrounding it uh chris says relax keep calm and look at chris etc etc the picture is used as a thumbnail for several whatsapp chats in various states and was even printed out in large and framed and took it to a televised rugby tournament during my stag when me and my mates were then

interviewed about why it was a thing. To be honest, we were all looking like dicks. It was plastered all over Newcastle on the night out as well. I've been reliably informed you can still find some of the stickers around the streets this very day. It was put on a baby grower in one of my friends' own new son and it's been projected largely onto the side of Edinburgh Castle.

Wow, that is a meme. Surely that falls into the category of meme. It's a local meme. I mean they've printed it out on the air.

I think that is Edinburgh. It's not gone viral but it is a meme. It's a strong look. It's a strong picture. It's an organic meme.

It's an organic meme, yeah. And any news on your friend Al's devastating fear of being a meme? No, I've not seen Al for a couple of fear devastating fear of not being a meme no last time I've not seen Al

for a couple of weeks last I heard I offered him a complimentary ticket to he is my best friend I was complimentary to one of the London shows

to the Football Ramble he didn't seem that interested which was upsetting and he texted me from Portsmouth on Saturday night going everyone's gone home it's only 12 o'clock

why won't anybody stay out with me? So there you go. Very much cut from the same cloth as me. Yeah, I can see why you get on, you two. Although you would never text us saying you're still out. God, no, I'd be straight on. Straight on, mate.

You will be, you're on record as saying that you have always got a thing at the back of your mind that there's a better party somewhere else. Yeah. But you'll never find it. It's mythical. No, it's not. It's like Valhalla.

Sometimes. It's like a Carlsberg-sponsored Valhalla. Don't Vikings eventually get to Valhalla? Isn't that where they're going? Isn't that their heaven? It's mythical, though, isn't it? What? Yeah.

You tell us, Vikings. They're going to fucking scalp you, mate. I wouldn't tell them. Take your head off. I wouldn't say it to their face. Kieran Keane. Pleasing name. Ooh.

He's got in touch with a less than pleasing story but he starts his email by saying I've been listening from the start and I've emailed a few times

but I've never gotten on well you have now Kieran imagine not being able to get an email on this show because I keep not on Reddit reading it

yeah admittedly my previous emails were all a long winded story about me getting punched in the face by a girl during sex that's probably why I didn't get in there.

Anyhow, I'm a Brit who's currently living in Sydney, Australia. And while I was reading the Australian news, I thought this would be right up your alley. And he's linked to a story, which the headline is, Fire Sparks Mass Explosion of Semen at Cattle Breeding Centre. Spectacular. A fire at a cattle building has caused 100 cylinders of bull semen to explode in a huge blow for farmers. Thousands of dollars worth of bull semen has been destroyed after a cattle building exploded in the fire early this morning.

I mean, thousands of dollars worth. I mean, I don't know how much a shot of bull semen is. I mean, they must go through a lot of it, because obviously that's the main way you inseminate an animal. But yeah, incredible. Imagine the smell. Yeah, artificial insemination. AI.

They talk about AI a lot in the story, which confused me, but it means artificial insemination, not artificial intelligence, of course, in this context. And it says, yeah, it's been a significant issue for them. It's going to have a lot of flow-on effect. I like a flow-on. Yeah, well, quite. The company provides artificial dissemination,

breeding advice, calf dehorning, herd testing, and freeze branding services for farmers in the area. White gold, baby. Best of luck to them. Not ideal. Kieran also finishes his email with a PS about what a Luke and Pete festival would consist of. Yeah.

He said it would have to have the following, a snobbish beer stand, a succulent Chinese meal vendor, a dolphin fondling workshop, a meet and greet with Julian Assange, and a battery collection point. Yeah. That'd be good.

Yeah, a battery collection point. One of those little tubes you see in supermarkets. Yeah. I never use them because I've never got old batteries on me. Yeah. I think you have to specifically bring them in. It's not like... Yeah.

Yeah, you see, when you see batteries all in a tube like that, you think, God, I don't know. I think just the infrastructure of recycling in any sphere is actually quite interesting. Because like, you open a,

have you ever opened up a battery or even a lithium ion one? Yeah. Like, they're just kind of like folded up bits of paper and metal coated in this kind of metallic, obviously chemical compound. But, oh, man, it looks acrid. I don't know how you would even begin to recycle a battery. Do you remember we saw the inside of 10-pin bowling balls?

Yeah. And they've all just got little bits of rubble in them and stuff. Yeah, and other bowling balls. Snooker balls and stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And on Kieran's point about all my emails I've sent in haven't got on the show I think

what you have to do when you want to email show at oh sorry hello at lukeandpetecher.com is you've got to have a good idea clear idea in your mind

who you're targeting that email to whether you're targeting to Pete or to me and then you've got to hope one of us reads it first because that's why

the whole markers on red thing comes in because if Pete sees an email about UFOs you've got to hope one of us reads it first. Because that's why the whole Mark is unread thing comes in. Because if Pete sees an email about UFOs, he's going to read it. He ain't going to be bothered about it. And he's going to move on. It's never going to get read out. I look at it and go, oh, I must have read that one before. I'll never go into it. Yeah, but I always go into the email box after you.

So when I read them, when I sort of read, knowing full well that I read all of the emails since the last show recording Right, yeah. Just know that I've kind of piled through them. It doesn't take that long. But you've got very specialist interest.

It does, yeah. If there's willies involved or testicles, I'm there. I'm there. In this case, ball seam. Oh, that was me who read that one out. Alright, let's get out of here.

We're back on Thursday. We're going to do a show on Thursday. Before we head off to hack the Empire we should say if you like any of this nonsense you don't even need to be a football fan to

enjoy Football Ramble Live. Go to rambolive.com we'll probably plan a town near you between now and the start of November.

We'd love to see you there. See you later Peter. See you later Luke.