The Luke and Pete Show - Episode 199.71: Prince Andrew, Helsinki & Scientology

Episode Date: November 18, 2019

On this chilly November Monday, Luke & Pete are talking about their favourite interviews - Tom Cruise has been accused of trying to nick a packet of fags and Pete's had a boozy weekend in Helsinki. Couldn't get hold of a can of Stella for love nor [e-mail] is the place to get in touch with your thoughts. Don't be shy!***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

it's the little peach show i am mayor peter judge uh and uh i'm joined by town crier lukie moore we're um administering our town the best we can. You haven't called me that for a while. No. Shout out to our sponsors. We are recording this live from the Pizza Express in Woking. So if you hear a bit of clinking of cutlery

in the background. Second show you've mentioned this. I'm obsessed by it. Yeah. There's a part of me that goes, at the end of the day, someone's been molested so everyone having a big old

yuck yuck about it is a bit distasteful but there's nothing funnier than a man doing a full on Brent slash Gareth from the office saying that he can't sweat because he was under fire

and then it came out that he was never under fire and all this wonderful stuff I like to think it was prefaced by him he was under fire and then it came out that he was never under fire and all this wonderful stuff. I like to think it was prefaced by him in whatever kind of office he's got.

I'm surrounded by PR people going, right, fuck it, I was doing it myself. See you later. I'll sort this out. And he's made it worse.

Of course, the thought should be with the victims and absolutely, it almost goes without saying. It certainly went without saying by Prince Andrew, by the way, because he didn't mention any of the victims at any point. He made it all about himself.

But is it not, I thought you'd be fascinated by this because it's an example in neon lighting out there for everyone to see of what class and privilege does in our society. And I thought Emily Matys was brilliant. She's one of the best interviewers I've ever seen she's done so many good interviews like that where she just skewers people um it was also by the way and i don't mean this to sound distasteful and i am talking to a man who well we know some of the things you came out with last thursday and it was somewhat of a

fruity i was loose you were in a fruity mood i was loose it happens people who listen to this show regularly yeah will know they can have their their comment on the fruitiness of your mood by emailing us at hello at lukeandpeachow.com. I can indeed. But I don't mean this in a distasteful way, but isn't it interesting now how everything is an extension of the entertainment industry? Everything.

What do you mean? As in? We just live in a society now, whether it's covered in a newspaper or an online website or a video or on a podcast or whatever. Everything, anything and everything, can be an extension of the entertainment industry if there are people out there who find it interesting enough.

And this is an example of that. As in what, that he's just, he was interviewed like a real, like this is a reality TV effectively. Yeah, it's a news interview ostensibly yeah but ultimately it's I mean what because I'll tell you

why I think this because 25 years ago he never would have done this interview he just wouldn't have done it the access to power in that way

would have been so far distant it just never would have happened and so it's just unbelievable when I first saw it it's one of the things

first things in ages where I've gone fucking hell what's he doing I wonder the last time So it's just unbelievable. When I first saw it, it's one of the first things in ages where I've gone, fucking hell. What's he doing? I wonder the last time he's been interviewed. I could find an interview with him before that. Yeah, because he probably never needed to.

Well, the royal family, what do they say? What's the Queen's motto apparently? Off the record, the Queen's motto is never complain, never explain. Right, okay. Yeah, that's fair. Not for Prince Andrew apparently, isn't it? Not for Prince Andrew. He complained and explained. I will complain and they'll do Right, okay. Yeah, that's fair. Not for Prince Andrew, apparently.

Not for Prince Andrew, be complained and explained. I will complain and they'll do a little bit of explaining, but not that much. By the way, have you had the Diavolo? It's very good.

Yeah, as mentioned in the ramble, I'm kind of worried that people might conflate my own removal of my sweat glands to never sweat as some kind of admission of guilt. I did it for honest reasons. Because I can't afford a new shirt every day like Prince Andrew can.

No. And you've been under a lot of fires in your job as frontline radio guy. Mate, the Killers, Kings of Leon, a lot of big, singing about some big issues

that I've got to get my head around. Being in love, not being in love, not being in love. Falling out of love. Do you get nervous before doing those kind of interviews? Not Prince Andrew ones, the ones with the bands. Oh, what? The ones with the bands and stuff.

I get nervous if the camera person has built up more of a rapport with the interviewee than I have. Ah, I see what you mean. I see, yeah. When the camera person or the producer gets all chatty, it see what you mean. I see, yeah. When the camera person or the producer gets all chatty, it's probably usually

because I'm late, gets chatty with the person and they build up a bit of rapport and then I feel like it's a bit of an imposition for them to talk to me. Yeah, I see what you mean.

So if you are a budding camera person or producer, let the host build up some kind of rapport before sticking your opinions in because you might be excited, but it actually makes the interview a little worse in my opinion.

And that is me having a complaint, but I will never explain. When you do them as well, you have to generally, not always, but a lot of the time, you'll do them with more than one person. So it's almost,

there's a power dynamic there. Massively. And also, they're frequently, if there's a four piece, they'llively. And also, they're frequently, if there's a four-piece, they'll be gifted with a maximum of three microphones.

So there'll always be one person left off. It's like that interview that we did in Toronto with that Italian football-focused TV show. Presented by a Colombian. Presented by a Colombian

on telly in Toronto. And we had been on tour for, sorry, that situation felt like it had been expressly designed to confuse us. So, hold on a sec.

You're in Canada interviewing in English about Italian football with a Colombian. Who was an ex- Miss Canada. Wow, this is crazy.

It's all over the place, isn't it? When did Celine Dion get involved? That's all we know. And then it when does Celine Dion get involved that's all I know and then they gave us three little chaps little

cardboard men oh no sorry three little cardboard men but I didn't have a microphone I recall so I had to really project into Marcus's throat which I'm often

doing anywhere to be honest it's just a nice thing to do if you're upset it's got a lovely throat yeah quite so when I do the interviews for like Ramble Meets

and stuff I do think sometimes oh like Ramble Meets and stuff I do think sometimes oh god it'll be so much easier if I had like 15 minutes to chat to this person beforehand but normally time is like tight yeah

and so it can be difficult especially on location what was your last on location one was that the NFL one yeah Jason and Osi over at NFL headquarters in town

yeah and also they're they're very charismatic guys and there's two of them and only one of me and I don't know anything about NFL if anything broke out

you'd have to fight them. Oh man. I'd have been pounded into dust in like 15 seconds. If only Sam, the cameraman, to back me up

he'd have been gone. You wouldn't have seen him for dust either. But anyway, what's been going on Pete? How's your weekend? Are you in Helsinki? I was in Helsinki.

How was it? It was lovely, chilly. Everyone was very enamoured by the weather. Everyone was like, it's so cold, it's so cold. I'm like, guys, I've been to Milwaukee recently. I'm fine with this. Chicago was cold as well.

Chicago was chilly as well. Yeah, it was good. A lovely part of the world, and everyone was bloody lovely. And again, another place where people were kind of confused why we'd visit. But beautiful little Airbnb. Had its own sauna would you believe?

Apparently there's four million saunas in Finland. Love it. Love a sauna. They also had little kind of hot tubs on the base

so you could jump into the water which would have been about minus 15 or something and then you could get into a hot tub immediately if you fancied it

but I didn't get the chance to do that but I did go to like an old military kind of offshore fort. It reminded me of isle of wight a little bit reminded me of going to the isle of wight you could go to a little island tell us a bit about where there was a barracks it was an army barracks so you'd be walking around the deserted freezing fog uh filled um island with a little fort on there and then suddenly you turn around the corner and there'd just be these four

camouflaged men with big guns and you're like ooh this is really scary wow so I don't even know why they bother having it as a tourist destination

but they were just constantly letting off artillery is it a tourist hotspot is it yeah well there were enough people there to to warrant

but you could just walk around and it was just a military installation how did the indie bar rank along the other indie bars in Europe? We couldn't find one could no find one

Just all death metal bars Just a lot of metal bars a lot of metal bars which is fine but a lot of craft ale you know my feelings on that unless you've got a sponsor

I mean you drink it Well that's the main I drink it I got given one that had a licorice like this a licorice kind of taste to it. So it was very, to offset the heavy kind of molasses,

licorice-y taste, they offset it with a really fruity, aggressive, almost like battery acid kind of cider-y flavour to the actual IPA. Yeah, it wasn't nice. But the aftertaste was pleasant. I remember being, I think, walking down a corridor backstage at Sheffield when we did a live ramble show and overhearing you saying to long-suffering tour manager Rhys, to be honest, mate, I just want a really fizzy lager.

Yeah. Yeah. That's your thing, isn't it? My fizzy lager of choice is Stella. Our other tour manager, Emily, in America, she was banging to the Stella, but she didn't really know the history. It's a little lawbrow in Britain, isn't it? It's a bit... Yeah.

It's wife-beater. That's disappointing. It's a continental strength. Well, that's what they call it. Yeah, but that's a term that should be consigned to the dustbin of history, really, isn't it? No.

You can't go around using the phrase wife-beater. Well, no, but that's what they call it. Who's they though you're not saying can I have a can I have a glass of white beater because I've got

certain interests that need to be satisfied when I get home no one's no one asks for a glass of anything in this country a glass

may I have one beer please I can't get with Steader anyway I find the taste of it not very not very pleasing it's a nice fizzy

lager give him a fizzy lager that's all he wants but it just makes me think that what before continental strength lager. Give him a fizzy lager. That's all he wants. But it just makes me think that, what, before Continental Strength lager, blokes would, you know,

have to find other excuses to do the evil they do. I can't figure it out. Yeah, I'm sure that's probably true. Because we're supposed to be like a nation of beer drinkers, and then suddenly like a 5% one comes, and then it sends everyone a loopy. Sorry, everyone. Loopy juice.

What's the earliest in the day you would tolerate a fizzy lager? I don't generally drink during the day, so yeah, six o'clock. Really? I never drank.

I've seen you drink a glass of red wine very early. All right, well, that's a glass of red wine. When have you seen me drink a glass of red wine? I think we were in Lisbon.

You had a glass of one about 11 in the morning. We were having meat. Oh, that's the caveat. We were having meat. I mean, to be fair, I could count on my hand that seriously in the morning. We were all having meat. Oh, that's the caveat. We were having meat. I mean, to be fair, I could count on my hand, seriously, in the last five years,

count on one hand how many times I've drunk during the day. It's just not a thing I do. Speaking of drinking during the day, did you see this story in The Guardian a couple of weeks ago? A politician in Ireland told a story

about when he was in a pub in 1991 in County Kerry and Tom Cruise was in there right because Tom Cruise was filming the movie Far and Away

with I think I think it's got Nicole Kidman in it as well right I forget who the director was but anyway I remember watching that film on a plane once

very very very long time ago and anyway so he Tom Cruise was in this pub in the middle of nowhere I presume and he

and his co-star Nicole Kidman was sat in the corner of this pub having a drink and Tom Cruise walked over

reached over the bar and as he reached over the bar a local I probably I didn't know or care who he was, grabbed him and had a bit of a scuffle with him.

Apparently, he almost broke Tom Cruise's arm in the middle of the production. What happened was, Tom Cruise was leaning over to get some more ice for his Diet Coke. Yeah. But the local thought he was trying to steal the barman's fags. Love it. Yeah. We've got a lot of time for that. This is the quote from the story. there was a man this is the quote

from the story there was a man sitting down at the end of the counter called Gur the Manny and he was an elderly man had his stick up on the counter

and was sipping away a little glass of Guinness when he was gone the barman this was the yank the yank is his word not mine the yank leaned behind

the counter and dipped his hand behind Gur jumped off his stool grabbed his stick and drew a belt at your man's hand. Absolutely cracked his hand. We missed him apparently, he hit the bar

instead. He should not have had his hand behind the bar. Went until someone serves you the bloody ice. You don't want to take it yourself. Tom Cruise said my goodness, I was just leaning in to get a bit more ice. And Gurr, the man, he said you bastard, you were trying to steal Matt's fags look amazing

he's been accused of worse yeah it's great he certainly has but I mean I wonder if that's the that's the incident that turned

Tom Cruise to Scientology maybe he needs just to get finances in the world the Scientology thing is really

interesting because I just remembered where was I walking the other day I was walking back from somewhere and I was walking past a big stone building, and it said on the side of it,

Church of Scientology. And they had all these posters up saying, come and find the meaning of life, whatever it is they say. And as I walked past the automatic sliding doors for the entrance, I looked down the few steps to a reception desk. Aye.

And the woman behind the reception desk was exactly as you would picture a scientologist like kind of far away look in her eye yeah painted on smile looked a bit robotic and it was actually quite frightening well whenever you can't because i'm a big um pc computer uh component guy you have. I have mentioned it more than one occasion. If I'm off my thermal grease up Tottenham Court Road, obviously their big home is Tottenham Court Road.

So it's kind of hard to, it's hard to avoid them, quite frankly. I can see you getting roped in though. You're the kind of guy that would be roped in because you wouldn't want to be in plight.

Yeah, that's, you know, there has been situations in my life that if I was just a little less polite, I would just get a lot more done and I would just not upset people. You've never done me that plight to me, mate. No.

Well, I know you, so it's fine. You never stick up for me. Never stick up for me? You literally never stick up for me. You always take the other person's side. I've noticed it. So the first step is to find the right position for you. Put your hands down and lower your chest to the ground.

Just do that and pretend that you're holding poop in. And it should sound a lot like this. The payoff's always good. The payoff's always good. When you hit that, I think, oh, it's old. And then I listen to it at the end. Oh, it's old. I love it.

And listen, hello at lukeandpeachshow.com to get your emails in because we're a couple of weeks away. And I'm actually going away next week as well. So we might do a show where I'm in the US and Pete's here. But the reason we're catching up on emails is because we did two shows from New York City last week.

So we are working our way through. Don't be disheartened if yours isn't read out. It might be that we're just waiting to catch up on it. It might be that it's terrible. Yeah. And it's not made the cut. Correct. Have we spoken about an honest person

who found the bits and bobs in mum and dad's bedroom drawer? Did we speak about that last week? Don't think so. Can't remember. After listening to your show since the start, I was delighted that after hearing the funny sausage story on your last show about the small child finding his mum's dildo, I finally had something to email in about 16

and being left in the house by my family for a week, it was obviously inevitable that I would throw a house party or two. At each one of these parties, some of the girls decided it would be fun to pierce their ears. Of course. Looking for a needle, they went into my parents' bedroom as I knew my mum would have a sewing kit somewhere What they found was not a sewing kit

Many dildos, a strap-on and a gimp mask Were quickly all being thrown around my house And everyone apart from me was in hysterics Strap-on fine, dildos fine The gimp mask interests me Disappointed? You could be disappointed with that Because I never understand about gimp masks

Are you kind of covering your identity? Or are you... This is the most unsuccessful bluff you've ever done. What do you mean? Oh, I never really knew about what this is. I don't know, to be honest, but I thought you would know. No, I think you are... No, I think if you are in a long-term relationship

and you want to spice it up with the gimp mask, presumably part of the charm of the gimp mask is you don't know who's in the gimp mask. But you know... Oh, I see what you mean. You know your loved one isn't there. Yeah, I feel like, you know what, if you are in a situation,

because no one really likes to think about their parents getting involved in that kind of stuff. It's a natural thing, right? And I think that if you had that sprung on you or you discovered that, I'd quite like to be given some space to process that. The very idea that you're going to get it rumbled by a load of your friends in a party situation,

to me, is quite horrific. Yeah, it's kind of public, isn't it? It's very public. Because what are you going to do? What's your play there? Are you going to pretend you know about it all along? Oh yeah, we're a sex family. Yeah, what are you going to do? It's very, very difficult, that situation to pretend you know about it all along? Oh yeah, we're a sex family. Yeah, what are you going to do?

It's very, very difficult, that situation. It's the last thing you need. And to be honest, as well, if you're out there and you're a parent and you're listening and you've got a teenage kid, don't go on holiday and leave them alone with a load of stuff you don't want them to find. Easily find them.

You're tired, you want to go on holiday, though you don't like... I sort of think about my house, I think, is there anything? Well, there isn't anything. Because I don't really... it's all on my computers and that's all passworded but there's nothing like

nowadays does anybody need but if you drop down dead tomorrow and people have to clean out your house and the rest of it would you be fine

with whatever so your mum has to go and clean your house you can go on my computer though there's just nothing there nobody downloads this pornographer anymore

it's fine they're streamers you're not incognito mode for that reason. So you'd be fine with whatever they found, yeah. They'd be disappointed with how you lived. Yeah, they'd definitely be disappointed with the state of the house. But yeah, other than that.

But anonymous email, I'll just go on to say, the only good thing to come from the discovery that I used as leverage when my parents wouldn't let me have a house party on my 17th, and I told my mum, I had to tell my two younger brothers

what was in the bottom drawer if they couldn't have a party that is Brinkman look a little part of your mum would have died there it's one of the darkest family conversations

I've ever heard of it was the best birthday party I've ever had cheers mum and dad is this from Neil from the Inbetweeners I don't know man amazing series

that's incredible fantastic alright well let's change pace then and get away from discovering horrific things that parents have done or left behind. This is something I wanted to follow up on from a couple of weeks ago, and it's about driving with the interior light on in your car.

Oh, yeah. It's from Sean in Whitley Bay, and he says, Hi, guys. Long-time listener. Second-time emailer. This first email I sent didn't get read out, but in your defense, it was pretty tedious. To be honest, Sean sean this one's quite tedious as well but um i've given it a bash

just dropping you a line to let you know that driving with your interior light on does indeed get you pulled over it happened to me around 20 years ago when i was 18 and it only recently passed my test i had an old car that quickly became my pride and joy even though it was a 1992 fiat panda anyway one that i was dropping a mate off when he dropped something under the passenger I had an old car that quickly became my pride and joy, even though it was a 1992 Fiat Panda. Anyway, one night I was dropping a mate off when he dropped something under the passenger seat. He put the light on to try and find what he had dropped, and he then got out of the car, leaving the light on. Not long after I set off for home, I saw the flashing blue lights behind me. I couldn't possibly have done anything wrong, so thinking the cops were heading off to an emergency with real bad guys involved,

I pulled over to let them past to my horror they pulled in behind me they were very stern and explained that driving with the interior light arouses suspicion as it makes it look like the driver is in a stolen car and looking for things to steal before abandoning it and setting on fire whatever it is fortunately for me i'm not yeah well this is what he says fortunately for me i'm not one of them naughty boys and this checked out when they took my details i was allowed to carry on my way after switching off my interior light the rest of my journey home passed without incident and as it turned out with much better visibility the glare thing you mentioned is also true and probably why putting that little light on encouraged parents to tell you the truth it does make you more likely

to be pulled over though maybe the threat of police involvement is more likely to hit home with kids and the standard in-car parental bollocking. Sean from Whitley Bay, he says, I was at the Ramble Live in Newcastle as well. Great show. Is Pete okay after his dance? It looked like he might have done himself a mischief. Well, I did it a lot of times, that little dance. So, I can take a bump.

So, this is an interesting email to me for a couple of reasons. One, the interior light thing, as we said. I always thought it was just dangerous because you couldn't see as much outside. Sean's kind of covered that in his email. But what it also smacks to me of is another example of something that I used to experience along with all my friends in the town I grew up in,

which is quite small. The police there are just shit. They've got nothing to do. They see a teenager in a car, they're going to pull him over. One of my friends got pulled over. One of my friends got pulled over. One of my friends, this is how bad and how petty the police were in my

local town as a kid. One of my friends, he was a bit of a shit but he was never a bad guy. He didn't have a criminal record or anything. He had a nice car that he'd bought himself and he liked to show off a bit because he was a teenager and he had a girlfriend and all the rest of it. And there was this police officer who used to badger him all the time.

Literally every time he went out in his car, the police officer would pull him over. Shall I use his name, the police officer? First name. I don't know his first name. Officer Anonymous. Yeah, okay. PC Anonymous.

Listen to this, right? He had it in for my mate to such an extent that on christmas day he went up to the house yeah my mate was in with his family and his car was parked outside because he was visiting his family the police officer in question saw his car in the driveway went up to the house knocked on the door asked to see him pulled him out checked every tread to tire tread in his car on christmas day and see him pulled him out checked every tread tyre tread in his car on Christmas day and wrote him up

and gave him a ticket because one of them wasn't had enough tread in it and said that's how bad it was in the town I grew up in I can't think of a worse police victimisation story

in the world and they say nurses have it tough Pete and they say young black men have it tough in America I still think that's quite bad I mean you can't

you can't you can't logically explain away everything by saying other things are worse well there's no conversation possible to have is there but I'm just saying

in the words of in the sphere of police over eagerness let's call it yeah I'm not saying the Portsmouth cops

I'm not suggesting I'm not saying it's the mean streets no he's not been institutionalised ever since he didn't go to jail or anything but it's still petty. I'm talking about the pettiness of it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Imagine being that police officer on Christmas Day. He's clearly annoyed he has to work Christmas Day. Exactly. He's hurting though, isn't he? Hurting inside. What you need to do is just go,

look, is everything alright? Because this isn't normal behaviour, policemen anonymous. Have you... I can't believe it's taken me this amount of episodes to ask you this, but have you ever been in trouble with the police?

No I don't think so What's the nearest flirt you've had with it? As a scout group we were taken round the police the police station

in Hartlepool and they showed us the safe where they keep the guns that was about it That's what I had read What was in there? They didn't open it they just said That could have been anything they showed us the safe where they keep the guns. That was about it. That's what we had really. That's interesting. Say again?

What was in there? They didn't open it. They just said, what are we keeping the safe guys? And we were like, money! And they were like, it's actually guns.

And I was like, oh. Just trying to show off. And then when we were in the car park, I remember him going, right, you've got to be very quiet

right now. Because we were quite boisterous because we were all excited because we put police helmets on and got kicked in the baton how old were you? nine I think I speak on behalf of everyone listening

I'd love to have seen you at nine with a police baton and a hat on kid cop I remember being in the car park and the bloke was going yeah you've got to be very quiet because see out there

some very sensitive microphones pointing this way in the police car park because it's very important to record everything that happens in the police car some very sensitive microphones pointing this way in the police car park. It's very important to record everything that happens in the police car park. Very sensitive microphones. I'm like, bollocks, is that? You just want us to be quiet.

Even then you knew you were microphones. Little, little liar. Little police liar. Is that when you fell in love with the recorded word? The recorded word, yeah. Is that when you thought, I am going to do a career based on microphones from that day on? Yeah, on highly

directional remote microphone technology, that's what I needed. But you honestly never got busted for like juvenile drinking or having a little biff?

No, I mean, I think the Cleveland Police, even now, are not lauded as being the best or the most attentive, let's say. Right.

So it's got all of you, it's like the Wild West, was it? Yeah, although the ones up in Durham are very good, apparently. Right. So he's got all of you. It's like the Wild West, was it? Yeah, although the ones up in Durham are very good, apparently. Really? I didn't know you had knowledge about this kind of thing.

They're the poster boys for... I've been watching a lot of Hartlepool TV, which is a very right-leaning television little station. Is there like a local Hartlepool TV station? It's a Facebook TV situation. And when I think Farage came up to do a I'm going to say be a hall kind of chore

at the Grand Hotel they couldn't even get an interview with him they had to settle for some Brexit era who was running in well attended was it? probably was well attended quite a nice building the Grand Hotel

faded seaside glamour is it? it really is was well attended yeah well attended quite a nice building the Grand Hotel but it yeah faded seaside glamour is it yeah it really is did it ever so you never it was like the

Wild West up in Hartlepool you never got sort of attentive police on your case not really that's really because we're on

for it it was massively like that yeah more of a city though and you have pirates down there probably no because I grew up

for a large part of my teenage years in Leon Solon which is like a seaside village which is is part of Gosport, the wider town. Pirates, mate. Smugglers. If you don't see any pirates around, is it that you are the pirate? You are the pirate, yeah. By the way, when we did that show walking around New York,

I got a few tweets from people saying, I really enjoyed that. Please do more of those. If nothing else, it really highlighted Pete's asthma. Yeah. Well, when it's cold, asthmatics find it a little bit different, difficult. And also, I was on tour,

probably wasn't looking after myself that well, so I'd like to take those people and tell them to fuck off, all right? I was actually a little bit earlier on in the show, I was sort of like that, and I was like, maybe I'm a little bit, maybe asthma is getting worse.

I haven't seen you use your puffer for a while a little puffer a little puffer a little Jimmy Puffer alright let's let's get out of here Pete Donaldson

that was episode 199.71 doesn't matter to get in touch hello at lukeandpete show dot com that's the quick update

on what we've been up to hope you have a great rest of the week and we'll see you on Thursday alright baby Hope you have a great rest of the week. And we'll see you on Thursday. All right, baby. This was a Stakhanov production.