The Luke and Pete Show - Episode 199.72: It’s a Megalodon

Episode Date: November 21, 2019

Luke & Pete are back and answering life's big questions as always. Questions such as: Where can you buy the best mince pie? What happened to 90s classic The Big Breakfast? Does Megalodon exist? Everything you've ever wanted answered.Lock in and send us your thoughts at [e-mail] ***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

🎵 Hello, everyone. It's the Luke and Pete show! I thought we sounded a little bit, um... a little bit down last show, so I'm going to try and pick it up with some... explosions, fireworks, kablamos. That's just you clicking your fingers yeah I know

all the explosions the fireworks happening inside that the synapses of your brain normally damn right damn right don't they

how have you been Lukey pretty good yeah pretty good looking forward to I'm off for a couple of weeks tomorrow so that'll be fun

my sister-in-law's getting married looking forward to that and we'll also be there for Thanksgiving which is always a good time a fun time a nice time I think I'll try That'd be fun. My sister-in-law's getting married. Looking forward to that. And we'll also be there for Thanksgiving. There's always a good time, a fun time, a nice time. I think I'll try and do an episode with you while I'm over there.

So I think what I'm going to do is I will log in to that thing they call the internet. Right. And we'll do a show over Skype or whatever. You'll be here. I'll be there. It'll be like the Bugle. You're going to be um interested in are you going to be okay recording basically that's why worry well you have to use your laptop to do skype i don't know how to do it so you need to tell me to do it so yeah

i'll need to get information on that i'm happy doing it you know me pete we're completely the opposite i like i will just say i can do something and then work it out later, and you'll not ever do anything because you think you can't. Yeah. So I'll be full of the joys of fall in Vermont, but I'll be all the gear and no idea. But I'm sure it'll be fun. Anyway, what have you been up to?

I have spent a week tying up some loose ends, doing a couple of podcasts. Just my usual life, really, to be honest. Not as exciting as being in Helsinki at the weekend, but yeah, just a fairly standard week. And are you staying UK-based this weekend? I'm going to be staying UK-based, let me tell you, until December. Really? What's happening in December?

I'm going to the moon. I'm going to SpaceX. I'm going to do some space tutoring. Is it you, I'm going to SpaceX. I'm going to do some space touring. Is it you, Elon Musk, and that caver guy who rescued those kids? The miner. The miner. I don't talk about him anymore. Why?

Because, I don't know, he got accused of things by Elon Musk. Yeah, well, that doesn't mean he can't talk about him. All right, then let's talk about him. What have you got to say about him? I've got nothing. All right, okay, good okay I just love poking you with a stick okay

but yeah so so when you say oh um just my normal life really what do you think people listening think of as your normal life um

going home after work or in between jobs I get up at like nine go to do whatever I want to do what I need to do

what do they think you're doing do you think just titting about yeah this doesn't sound like hard work it doesn't sound like

work half the stuff that we do no that's the thing so just titting about is what people probably think that we're up to is that a hotel pen

you stole from the hotel the Blakely we stayed there in New York you don't steal it they give you it it's a pen have you got an iron now? Have you got an extra iron?

What, do you want one? I can get you one if you want. I can get you one, yeah. You can get me a pen. I always need a pen whenever I'm doing something. I don't know why. I'm just of that generation.

Vesiferous note writer. But that's the thing. You're absolutely right. So you've tapped into something there. Like when people say, oh, the tour you did must have been amazing and it was great. But a lot of the stuff

that you have to do isn't seen. And it's the same with this, isn't it? Yeah, exactly. Just prep. Would you rather be doing this or working back

at the zoo? Well, you don't get paid anything for the zoo. I get paid more here doing the ramble and that than I do working for the zoo.

I'll tell you that much. I'd love to work for a zoo yeah it's just long hours and I think zookeepers it's treated as a vocation so zookeepers

don't get paid the money commensurate with what they should be at the end of the day a lot of people through the doors animal

keeping those animals alive is very expensive but I think zookeepers are criminally underpaid. Because they do it for the love of the job. One thing away from this show. They do it for the love of the job.

That's what I don't like. It's the same with people who, it feels to me that when people say it was a vocation, I know you weren't saying this, but that's what people say. They kind of use it as an excuse to not pay them properly. Yeah. And I never really thought about how expensive it is to keep animals.

It must be mad. Oh, insane. Well about how expensive it is to keep animals. It must be mad. Oh, insane. Like, well, just imagine being able to keep a penguin. Just like, you know, refrigeration and warmth in the winter and stuff. It's just,

it would be impossible. Especially if you've only got a small collection of animals as well. They're very unfussy eaters, though. They are very unfussy eaters. Probably feed them quite cheap. Load of fish. But like,

like Tropical Monkey House has to be a ridiculous heat all of the time. But they eat berries, though load of fish but like tropical monkey house has to be a ridiculous heat all of the time but they eat berries though yeah but like a little bit of meat and stuff

but like I was watching some emperor tamarins on the telly last night and I was thinking yeah to keep the tropical monkey house at the zoo

that I used to work in it used to be so hot all of the time and they are covered in fur and I do sort of want to go do they necessarily need that amount of heat I know they're used to that heat

but these are not ember tamarins that grew up in in the jungle they grew up in captivity so just you could probably just knock the

knock the heating down couple of notches down couple of notches down see what happens pay the zookeepers a bit more see what happens if one of them drops off a branch

turn it back up again exactly there's a brilliant bit in that Seven Worlds, One Planet Attenborough series. The other week, I've lost track of all the months and weeks because of what we've been doing. But it was an episode, I think it was the South American episode. And there's, I don't know if you saw it, Pete, but there was these troop of monkeys. I forget what they were called, but they're the ones with the big prehensile tails. Yeah, okay. I can't remember what they were called, Pete, but there was these troop of monkeys. I forget what they were called, but they're the ones with the big prehensile tails.

Yeah, okay. I can't remember what they were called, but anyway, it doesn't matter. They'd jump around the trees in the rainforest. And what you noticed after a while of watching them just doing their thing, and obviously they're looking for berries, right? Is a shoal of fish in the river below them.

It's following them. Oh, right. These fish have developed amazing eyesight and they're following monkeys wherever they go. And the reason

they're following them is because the monkeys are so messy in terms of how they eat. They just drop them. They drop the berries into the river and the fish eat them.

And then when the monkeys move on, because they've had enough, the fish stay there and they jump out of the river and grab the low-lying berries on the branches.

Now I saw when the skybox always resets at Absolute Radio and I watched a fish jump out of the river and eat a berry but I was talking about I don't know,

blossoms on air while it happened and I was like, I've never seen that before. A fish has jumped out of the water and grabbed itself a berry and then went back in again. Yeah. Incredible. And I'm someone who takes an interest in the natural world and we talk about animals A fish has jumped out of the water and grabbed itself a berry and then went back in again.

Incredible. And I'm someone who takes an interest in the natural world. And we talk about animals and wildlife a lot on this show. I think it's something that we're both interested in. And on that Attenborough series, I'm 39 now and it's 2019. And I'm still seeing quite large mammals that I've never heard of before. Not just like an insect. You know when you have like, oh, there's five million types of fly in the world

or whatever and you think oh fuck it's boring they're all essentially the same aren't they but when you see like a new mammal that you've never heard of before

it was there was one on that show that I think a puma was trying to hunt it was big it looked a bit like a cross between a camel and an antelope

and I'd never seen it before right okay what else is this world hiding from me get in the sea that's what they talk about innit there's so much stuff

yet to be explored under there yeah it was like 30% we've looked at crazy and you say we we haven't looked at

any of it really haven't looked at anything looked at some of it in the Mediterranean on holiday yeah that's it did you see

they found a wrecked submarine off the I think it was the coast of Okinawa from the second world war right

they thought they never found it but I think drones some kind of company chucked a lot of money in

and used drone technology to find where this wreck would have been and they managed to find it

I'm pretty sure that scientists and marine biologists are convinced there's no big, what they call, sort of like mega fauna in the sea. What do you mean? As in like?

Like massive apex predators because they can tell by the movement of the other animals and stuff like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because some people think that there's like huge

mega dolphins down there and stuff. Have you seen that Jason Statham documentary? I've seen it. Sharknado. He's in that show, he's in that there's huge Megalodons down there. Have you seen that Jason Statham documentary? Have you seen it? Sharknado. He's in that movie called The Meg. My God. It's a Megalodon.

Oh, right. And the thing about that is, Pete, is that I don't care what anyone says, it is enjoyable. You watch it, you know what you're getting into. It's called The Meg. It's about a 50 50 foot shark with massive jaws and Jason Statham's

going to do some mad stuff and it's enjoyable because of it you're not going down on any pretenses I used to go to a girl whose brother was in

a band called McGaldon there you go any good? they had a member of a person who was in the office once okay

that's all I've got this is weird what kind of music did they play were they as good as one-eyed willie no no oh i had a dream last night me and you had to do some kind of lucas big live show but it basically involved us um with lofty ambitions doing some kind of musical number um but it meant that i that we both had to play guitars and I we'd got to almost the point and I realised that

I didn't know one of the chords from one of the songs that we used to do in One Eyed Willie and then I realised quite late on that you'd never heard

One Eyed Willie and didn't know any of the songs that we were doing so therefore the show was going to be an absolute nightmare because neither of us knew

any of the songs that we used to do this is a any of the songs I wanted to do this is a variation of a dream I have quite a lot where I go on stage in front of loads of people with a guitar around me and I don't know the songs

yeah have you got the radio I mean do you press the buttons on the radio or does somebody else do it no someone else does it like Fed and stuff

so like I think anybody using radio machinery has the same DJ anxiety dream where they just like, they turn up and nothing's working. Where in real life, if I turn up and nothing's working, I'm happy because it's not my fault.

But in my dream, I'm really anxious that the boss is going to turn up and the buttons are not working. But you can't mean you're happy. You're not happy. I am a little bit happy. I love it when- You take pleasure in it. I do a little bit. Yeah. You know when tech goes wrong and you're like, You're not happy. I am a little bit happy. I love it when... You take pleasure in it. I do a little bit.

Yeah. You know when tech goes wrong and you're like, this has nothing to do with me. It's so beautiful. That's quite revealing of your personality. Well, because

I'm blamed for everything else in my life. That's probably true. It's just nice to have something go wrong that has nothing to do with me and I can't help it. Even though, fundamentally,

it does impact on me. It does reflect badly on me. When I'm on the radio all I've got to worry about is someone in that ear, a screen where I've got to read something, three co-hosts and an hour on the clock. Piece of piss. And the great thing about that is also if you get a bit short of things

to do in that scenario you've always got a lot of people on Twitter calling you a cunt. So you can always get that as a bit of a... I had one yesterday. I was on the radio yesterday and I had... I'm doing my best. Just doing my job. Doing my best. It's a fine show.

Nothing went wrong. Luke, the radio station that you work for has a... will have men of a certain age who feel very comfortable in their own skin. Very com... Well, sorry, uncomfortable in their own skin, but very comfortable in letting people know their opinions

on twitter i looked over at the twitter console um and just the first thing that popped up you're not danny kelly you're a cunt oh okay so probably i mean it's not inaccurate at least danny knows the number it's not it's not inaccurate but no i don't do the buttons i mean that would be a recipe for disaster um before we move on from the wildlife chat, I noticed this week a story about a deer that was spotted with three antlers. Okay. It's like the dog with the tail on its head. Yes, it is very similar to that.

And I never knew. I never really considered this before. But apparently it's like a one in a million thing. Right. Maybe it's a bit like seeing a four-leaf clover or something. One in a million three antler deer spotted in the US. It's in Michigan. And a retired guy was out there with his camera taking some photos of some wildlife.

And he said he's done it every day since 2012. And it's the first time he's ever seen a three antlered deer. That's a lot of shots, isn't it? Going out every day taking pictures of wildlife the thing that got me sad about it is that if any hunter

sees that they're going to want to kill it straight away do you reckon yeah because it's prized isn't it yeah I guess so

it's really sad never mind interesting though but that said if they did kill it it would make a great hat stand and Peter

and it's funny because the story finished with the guy, I think he's called Steve Lindbergh, I think. Yeah. Yeah, he was called Steve Lindbergh. And he said, sadly, he can't share the enjoyment of seeing the three antler deer because he's got his own Facebook page

where he posts a wildlife photo every day. It's quite a nice idea. It's quite a cute thing for a retired guy to do. And he said he's had to disable comments on that because everyone's just calling him a liar and telling him he's photoshopping it

and then the other comments have said I want to know where it is because I want to kill it so there's the internet in a nutshell you're welcome to it you're welcome to it

wonderful do you see that somebody was selling their they'd had their dog stuffed and turned into a little mat so the little mat see I can't get with that I can't get with that

you know like you have lion's mats where it's just like it's like it's just basically their skin extrapolated let's say just you know

as a mat and then the head of the animal stuffed he said the remaining dog that still lived that's still alive

they had to get rid of this map because he just kept on going over and humping it oh my god humping his friend who obviously he used to hang out with every day

that's so sad he died and the other dog just started humping his body a little bit what do you think about what do you think about

people like taxidermy and their pets when they're dead by the way yeah no don't do it while they're alive. Yeah, it's not good. But then you do love them, don't you?

And you would like to see them again. Oh, mate. It's not like dogs talk. The love you have for your pets is mad. It's not like a dog or a cat can really talk. So them being there just in the corner of the room would give you a little bit of heartening. But they'd just get it wrong wouldn't they it wouldn't be the same

for me it's a reminder yeah you know but animals are brilliant and you just want to hang out with them all the time but with cats

I've got two cats and they do a lot of sleeping so if I was if someone came down to me and said one of your cats has died

you're going to have to have a taxidermy there's no choice I would request it in that circle sleep position having a little snooze so I could

just put it somewhere and think it would be sleeping it's just too sad do you know what I interviewed a very prominent footballer once a household name

and we were just chatting around and he had a dog and we were just shooting the shit I was getting some sound levels while we were

waiting to record and I said oh lovely doggy got there. He said, yeah, yeah, we just got her. She's lovely. She's great. Beautiful, beautiful.

I can't remember what type of dog it was now. But I remember at the time thinking, God, it's a really beautiful dog. He said, yeah, she's only a puppy. So, you know, it's a bit hectic. But it's really great because we had our last dog, sadly, passed away. He got old and died.

And I said, oh, yeah, it's terrible when a pet dies. It's almost like losing a family member. And he looked at me dead in the eye and went, it's much worse than losing any of my family. He was well into it. Wow. Yeah, so pretty intense. That's what dogs can do to you.

While we're thinking about that, let's have a little ad break. And when we come back, we'll do some of your emails. Hey y'all, it's Farmer Meemaw. And today I'm going to show you what I've been doing to take care of the pantry moth situation. It's not really a season, but I've not seen a moth in my kitchen for quite a while. Maybe I've won the battle. The woman

there who's trying to sort out the pantry moth situation, what does she call herself? Farmer Meemaw. Farmer Meemaw? Yeah, she's Farmer Meemaw. I didn't know that. I just glossed over me for a while. Shout out Farmer Meemaw? Yeah, she's Farmer Meemaw. I didn't know that. That just glossed over me for a while. Shout out Farmer Meemaw for dealing with the pantry mall situation. Have you got an email there, Peter?

Oh, I was just looking at Farmer Meemaw there. Hello to Glenn. Hi, I heard you talk about Morrison's mince pie sandwiches. I'm not sure they can be trusted. A few years ago, they served savoury donuts in their shops alongside other sandwiches. You could get a chicken salad donut, which was basically a chuggerless jam donut with chicken and rocket leaves stuffed inside it. Seriously, get fucked.

Get fucked. It was okay to eat it first, but 15 minutes later, it just felt like you'd eaten a pebble because your stomach attempted to digest the impossible. I can't imagine how this idea even came about, other than Morrison's trying to monopolise on the purchase of some deep-fat frying equipment. about other than Morrison's trying to monopolise on the purchase of some deep fat

frying equipment it's like Boris Johnson deciding to make like a Parliament Square Ibiza form party with one of those

cannons that he bought as mayor I can't think of anything more depressing than that what do you mean what Boris Johnson on a on a big

on a big water cannon in a pair of speedos that he bought for the London riots just kind of firing you know making yeah making a load

of foam fantastic it's absolutely amazing let's just say without getting overly political the things that

people get away with these days is unbelievable these days he couldn't sing the wheels on the bus last week

we are talking about a man who wants to lead the UK and is currently leading the UK He couldn't sing the wheels on the bus last week. I mean, we are talking about a man, right, who wants to lead the UK, okay, and is currently leading the UK, who does not know the words to the wheels on the bus. It's not a difficult song. Not a hands-on dad, you'd say.

I'm not asking him to strap on a six-string guitar and play the whole of a Steely Dan solo. This is the wheels on the bus. Yeah. Specifically designed so a three-year-old can sing it. He's a man obsessed with buses. He should fucking know that song. If anything, it's right in his wheelhouse.

And his wheelhouse is a bus station. He likes making buses out of wine boxes. I like making buses. Yeah, incredible. What were you talking about? I can't remember now. You were doing an email, weren't you now you were doing an email weren't you I was doing an email

that was it yeah I was just saying that's oh yeah savoury doughnuts savoury doughnuts oh and mince pies speaking of mince pies

my wife and I have got a mince pie rating chart this year so every mince pie we eat every mince pie we eat we rate it on the quality of the pastry

the filling the overall Christmasy feel all that kind of stuff and I'll tell you guys now it's not finished yet it's not completed but so far the Sainsbury's

in-store bakery mince pies are winning by a landslide so that's worth pointing out I'm angry with your wife

go on she did the flip up join the club oh she did yeah she did yeah during the football rumble too

I was trying to perfect what could only be described as a Shawn Michaels kind of flip up from the floor kind of trick

I don't know what you could call it so it reminds me of whenever I see it I think of Johnny in Karate Kid

yeah like a flip up and she managed to do it and I was just upset yeah it was kind of annoying

because I said to her oh because she mentioned it because she saw the show and she saw

you trying to do it and she went oh I think I could probably do that and I was like alright we'll do it to her, oh, because she mentioned it because she saw the show and she saw you trying to do it and she went, oh, I think I could probably do that and I was like, alright, we'll do it then

and she went, okay, and she said, I'll do it when I get back from Pilates because I'll be warmed up. She got back from Pilates, she said,

get your camera out, I filmed her, it took her three attempts and she did it. Yeah. Annoying, isn't it? Kind of annoying.

She's not nearly 11 and a half stone so that's what I'm saying. It's hard to do. Mate. I'm like the Millennium Falcon. What?

Compared to a little smaller ship. I'm a freighter. She's like Starbug from Red Dwarf. Where are you going with this? I was just saying.

Don't make up your self-proclaimed life. I don't know Star Wars enough so I had to move on to a different sci-fi show to think of a small ship. But you're not a

powerhouse anyway though are you? What do you mean? That's the sort of thing that like a big American football player would say. Oh yeah I'm built, to think of a small ship. But you're not a powerhouse anyway, though, are you? What do you mean? That's the sort of thing that a big American football player would say. Oh yeah, I'm built for strength, not speed.

Yeah, exactly. That's what you're trying to say, isn't it? But you're not built for either. Are you? You're 11 and a half stone and you've got asthma. Yeah.

What are you going to do about it? Nothing. I'm still scared of you. You know, we were talking a second ago there about eating weird food. I did a thing that I haven't done for ages

and I think it might be because we had the water turned off in our house. Right. Drank your pez? Yeah, I did the sting. No,

I ate a load of food in a row and I really regret it afterwards. I ate a Marks and Spencer ready meal curry. Yeah.

Then I had four chicken and chorizo empanadas okay then a whole big family size of prawn cocktail shells what's a prawn cocktail shell? this is what they call skips because they can't

sorry right they can't say skips they're not allowed and then I had a Belgian bun iced Belgian bun a Belgian bun it was probably about

4,000 calories in that 10 minutes I mean that's heavy isn't it that is that is bad I did a radio show after that as well. That just makes you sleepy. Might be why that guy called me a cunt, actually.

I was like this. Dodged it off on the microphone. I once did a radio show of a guy. I'm not going to name him because it's beyond professional, although he was being very unprofessional, where I was hosting it. He turned up late, quite hung hung over and i'm not joking

pete sometimes in the middle of questions he was falling asleep onto the microphone like that who was that i'm sorry i'm not telling you um people could probably read between the lines um anyway hello luke and peter is the email address Thank you for ever sent that one in. I don't know who it was. What about this one from, uh, Leo, Leo. He says, um,

dear Donnie and Luke, the gammon more, um, in one nine, nine point six, seven. You went on a walk down Saturday night, TV shows lane,

expanding the conversation. No, the king of all lost TV programs has to be the big breakfast, a fresh bowl of breakfast now for being thrown your way. Now, of course, Big Breakfast, it wasn't a Saturday night show. It was a midweek breakfast show. Yeah. I remember it being, I think it ran from the early 90s right through the millennium for a year or two.

But I remember it being the go-to TV show in the morning among my friends at school. Yeah. it being the go-to TV show in the morning among my friends at school. Yeah. Well, it's one of those ones where the main presenters, there were so many main presenters, but nobody remembers them.

Didn't your mate Richard Bacon get his break on that? Paul Tomkinson had it? Yeah, he was, Richard Bacon was, I think he was like a co-presenter for a little while, because he was on the bed for a bit, wasn't he? I remember him doing Streaky Bacon, where he'd knock on people's doors and make them run down the street naked

and they'd get a prize. Yeah. It's weird. It's like, there's people like Mike McLean. Do you remember him? No.

Like a man who talks like that. Hey, you alright? How's it going? That sounds like Paul Tomlinson. Yeah, it's similar. He's more a bit like this.

Alright, I'm Paul Tomlinson. That sounds like John Shuttleworth. Alright. No, Paul Tomlinson talks like this like this. Alright, I'm Paul Paltrow. That sounds like John Shuttleworth. Alright. No, Paul Paltrow, he talks like this. Alright, Ken. I've got a list right here

of main Big Breakfast presenters. I would like you to name Chris Evans, Denise Van Outen, Gabby Roslin. Those three are taken off the table. I need five more. I handed over to one of them last night on the radio, Paul Ross.

Paul Ross, yes, yes. He's with us, yeah, yeah, yeah. 94 to 95. Johnny Vaughan. Johnny Vaughan. He definitely did it. Yes, he was. Yeah, he was on in there as well.

Why is he not on this list? He was a main presenter. He was like a co-presenter, I guess. Yeah, okay. Didn't Kelly Brook like controversially do it for a while? Kelly Brook did it, yes. That's correct. Zoe Ball. Zoe Ball?

Zoe Ball, yes, 1996. I got a feeling the guy from Neighbours did it. What's his name? Joe Mangle. Yeah. Is it Mark Little? Yes!

There was loads of presenters on it, wasn't there? There was loads of presenters. They were just trying to kind of like re, you know, grab the headlines from back loads of presenters. They were just trying to kind of like re, you know, grab the headlines from back in the day. They were just finding, in 2000 to 2002,

Paul Tonkinson, Donna Eyre. Oh, yeah. Bacall did it. Amanda Byram, Mike McLean, Lisa Rogers, somebody called Rick Adams. Sharon Davies. Did she do it? Yeah, she did it.

Donna Eyre, that was when she asked the cause how they knew each other. Yes. Wasn't it? But one thing that's absolutely fascinating Eyre, that was when she asked the cause how they knew each other. Yes. But one thing that's absolutely fascinating about The Big Breakfast, it was on every morning and you'd put it on before you went to school or whatever or people were getting ready for work. And it was kind of like, if you were too young and fancied yourself as being a bit too hip to want to watch the news in the morning,

you'd watch The Big Breakfast. I loved it. There were news elements about it, but it was completely chaotic. But I looked it up when I saw this email yesterday I looked it up and I made a note of it during the school holidays the big breakfast

became the bigger breakfast and it was five and a half hours long yeah live TV for five and a half hours but I think they would introduce

cartoons before six oh right for the youngsters getting up nice and early but it had so many features so many ideas I remember my mate Jimmy was massively into like some of the features like more TV and all but it had so many features so many ideas I remember my mate

Jimmy was massively into some of the features like Maury Vicar and all the rest of it it was kind of interesting it's one of those almost time capsule type shows

it's impossible for it to I really hope they don't bring it back and try look what we're doing we're bringing it back oh they tried to bring it back a million times

didn't they did they yeah it wouldn't be as good now no Zig and Zag are ill Zig and Zag are nearly they're on the deathbed they were brought across from an Irish TV show weren't they did they yeah it wouldn't be as good now no Zig and Zag are ill Zig and Zag are nearly they're on the deathbed

they were brought across from an Irish TV show weren't they yeah it's just weird but it was just kind of like a mishmash and people don't

people don't attempt exciting live shows like that anymore they don't let anything fail so like you got stuff like I don't know Last Leg

and stuff like that and it's a very formulaic kind of you know daily mash sort of thing it's quite formulaic you know Last Leg and stuff like that and it's a very formulaic kind of you know Daily Mash sort of thing it's quite formulaic you know good in parts but like

it is just we are entrusting people who can perform it's you know no general public kind of interaction sort of thing just

it's just a bit too safe for me right now remember when they used to have Richard Not Judy we've spoken about this show before but like this morning Richard Not Judy where it've spoken about this show before. Yes, yeah, I do. This morning, Richard Not Judy,

where it's just them doing an hour of live comedy that they'd written throughout the week and they just perform it. It's just incredible, really. You don't really get that. No, you really don't. Which is surprising because... There's so much more comedy around.

And there's more channels, more platforms for it as well. It's just expensive. Just a big team maybe lots of cameras big studio you got to hire and stuff like that

every week so was the big breakfast a Chris Evans vehicle what do you mean like as in was it his baby the producer no I think he was just the launch presenter on it

I don't think he no I don't think he was also when I looked it up I thought it would have been I thought it would have been like Danny Baker involved writing it

and all the rest of it but apparently he wasn't involved in that he was involved in like TFI Friday and all the rest of it. But apparently he wasn't involved in that. He was involved in like TFI Friday and all that kind of stuff. Yeah, I think TFI Friday and Don't Forget Your Toothbrush. Don't Forget Your Toothbrush was more him. But I think Big Breakfast was the place that he found his fame. He was only there for two years.

Then he moved on. Interesting. Great stuff. It was a golden era for TV and I'll maintain that. Maybe it's just my age. But I mean, Big Breakfast, of course, was a breakfast show, but Saturday Night TV then

was just so good. I mean, I know he's had his problems and I don't want to get into all that. I mean, you've talked a bit about your encounters with him and maybe we've mentioned this before,

but Michael Barrymore, if you watch him on TV, he's so good. Yeah. Yeah. You have expressed that. But he's just so good. I know.

It's really, really talented. I know. And he had his career I've said it before I think he had his career ruined because he was a gay man an amp gay man in

1990s 2000s Britain but even but even in the media industry I mean come on no but like the way that he was martyred by

the way he was destroyed by the newspapers I mean obviously it was a horrible thing that happened, but there was a lot of very salacious kind of innuendo bollocks that went on at the time. I just think he was a very talented presenter.

He was a very talented presenter, but there were, and continue to be, a lot of talented presenters, but there aren't many opportunities for them nowadays because they would rather put reality, I sound like an embittered presenter, but I am.

Your show reel's available from... But my showreel is available on YouTube. But yeah, they don't put anyone on air who isn't a reality TV guy. But then you look at someone like Ryland, who's quite good at it. Oh, he's very good. Quite good at presenting.

He's quite charismatic. Give us another email before we get out of here. All right, then. Sorry, I had the Big Breakfast Wikipedia open. Hi, boys. I hope Luke managed to read this and keep it away from Pete. I thought of a good way to find

out if Pete is well and truly part internet. Can Pete, the nearest thousand, guess how many people are watching porn per second? So I'm throwing it to Luke. I don't know if I could really have the tools to do you mean worldwide or UK? How many people are in the world?

7 billion. How many people are in the world? 7 billion. 7 billion, right. I don't know how many of them. How many people are... Yeah, exactly. So say half of those people have access to reliable streaming internets. How many people have access to the internet?

I'm just Googling it now. 4.33 billion as of July 2019. Okay. 56% of the global population. So how many people are watching porn per second? 100 million. 28,258. Look, you can't be watching porn all the time.

It's per second, though, isn't it? I don't understand the question. 28,000 per second. Yeah. What does it mean, though? Well, people are going to be logging off and logging on, aren't they? Once they're finished. How is this?

Unless one person is doing it 24 hours. It's baffling. Who sent that email in? Tom. Thanks, Tom. Never email again. For each Luke and Pete show, over 50 million people are watching porn. Oh, God.

That's a disgusting measurement. Listening to the show at the same time. I cannot think of anything that would stop the wolf from the door. I cannot think of more of an overwhelming of the senses than that. Disgusting. That's the only way to end this show. Thank you very much for listening. We hope you have a lovely weekend. We'll be back next week.

I'm in the US for the foreseeable few weeks, but we'll work something out. I'm sure it'll be lots of fun. Thanks a lot. Speak soon. Get your hands out of your trousers. This was a Stakhanov production.