The Luke and Pete Show - Episode 199.79: Radio presenter for hire

Episode Date: December 16, 2019

Welcome to an all-new episode of The Luke and Pete Show! As we're now firmly in the middle of the festive period, we talk Christmas parties, Christmas dinner and all sorts of other traditions into the bargain.Elsewhere, there's wedding garb, there's DIY skills and there's sports teams using Super Mario music during games - something that should be encouraged, in our opinion.There's plenty of your stories as well, and to get in touch and have your say it's [e-mail] and you can get us @lukeandpeteshow on Twitter. Ciao ciao!***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Luke and Pete show I'm Luke and that's Pete and I'm stepping in for the traditional Pete Donaldson intro because you looked a bit perturbed Pete so I thought I'd just jump on here and go we're here we're ready yeah we're not going to take any more bears. You know that Simpsons joke? No. I'm not very good on The Simpsons. No, when Springfield was overrun by bears, Homer Simpson had a big placard and he was shouting,

we're here, we're queer, and we don't want any more bears. And I went, where did you get that chant from? That's really interesting hormone he goes the moustache parade it really makes me the moustache parade

always makes me laugh nice oh dear how have you been Lukey not bad thanks did you know I played ball games

with a hundred year old lady a few weeks ago have you been have people been giving you licks on Twitter apparently I repeated the story but that will happen yeah it does happen I saw you get upset about it I wasn't upset A few weeks ago. Have you been, have people been giving you licks on Twitter? Yeah, apparently I repeated the story, but, you know.

That will happen. Yeah, it does happen. I saw you get upset about it. I wasn't upset. I was taking the piss a bit, but, yeah, it was a bit like, oh, come on, is that what we're doing now? I saw people piling on you

after the election as well. Yes. That was a spicy thread. That was a spicy meatball. Definitely W material for Donaldson. Yeah. In the WB no I feel like I was

providing you cover with cover fire yeah okay but I mean the blunderbuss of chum chum obviously it's been big news last week and over the weekend

so maybe we can talk about that a wee bit but the the mistake I made was sticking my head above the parapet and just being angry

with the situation yeah and letting that get the better of me. And I'll tell you what I would say. Be careful, you're shouting it under the name. I'll tell you, you're starting to sound like one of them.

Shout it under the name. But what I would say, Pete, is that, without getting into too much detail because people already give me a load of shit about everything, is that I came out being quite critical

of both major parties in the last week and only one of both major parties in the last week and only one of the major parties followers and acolytes gave me a load of stick. Yeah, but they're the only ones who are following you because...

No, that's not true. What? Not true. What, you're followed by a load of... Quite a few people respectfully disagree with me and I had a load of

Corbyn acolytes go mental. Absolutely mental. Were they Corbyn acolytes or were they idealists and dreamers? They may say they're dreamers, but they're not the only ones. Anyway, it doesn't matter. I'm an idealist and a dreamer. This show is all about me and you,

but this particular thing is not necessary to go into great detail. The most important thing is I will occasionally repeat a story for which I apologise, but because you're loads more popular than me, Donnie, you don't get to stick for it. No, because I preface every single story that I tell on this podcast with, I probably told you about this. Yeah, you do. Just a little disclaimer.

I may as well just put it on the jingle box. I probably told you about this. Just a little disclaimer. We went for Christmas dinner on Saturday, didn't we? Oh, we did. It was was fun it was a lot of fun the problem with arriving late is on a eating situation

is which I obviously do you don't get to choose your seats but I did get quite lucky that was down the Brassel Teague

what's your name again Moor Moor End of the table but you know this won't be any surprise to people listening who feel like they've got a little bit of an insight into your character Teague. What's your name again? Moore. Moore end of the table. But you know, this won't be any surprise to people listening who feel like they've got

a little bit of an insight into your character over the years. That you did turn up roughly on time and then you disappeared and then came back again with a beer.

Well, where do you think I'd gone? The offy? Yes, actually. But the point was, the point was, you know we were going to have a beer. Right. And you knew we were going to have dinner.

Yeah. And you knew that it was going to be a waiter or a waitress going to bring you a beer. I want my destiny to be in my own hands. Okay, so you... You sacrificed a good table position to go and buy yourself a beer when it was table service. I just wanted a beer.

I wanted a big boy's beer. I wanted a big boy's beer. Did it go down well? It went down smooth. Nice. But it's been a heavy start to the Christmas period Luke and it's only going to get heavier

I'm worried about this was it smooth just like a silica soft and bubbly wrap you up like a quilter yeah nice why has it been so heavy?

I had Christmas party at Absolute Radio and then Friday I had they still let you go to the Christmas party after you mugged them off

Well I had they announced that I was leaving the day after the Christmas party unwelcome that makes it look like I've touched a lady

or a man or a man I heard that the hour meeting you had where you left Absolute Radio 55 minutes of it was discussion about

whether you wanted you could go to the Christmas party I won't cause any trouble I won't knock over sandwiches I'm fucking coming you can't stop me I know where it is

I know where it is it was a good night I enjoyed it I listened to you've sort of got to say that haven't you no I like everyone at work

that's the sad thing about if it was a shit party would you say what do you mean if the absolute radio there's been shit parties in the past definitely

I think everyone would be you know they did one in district which is in Piccadilly who have a terrible or used to have a terrible There's been shit parties in the past, definitely. I think everyone would be, you know, they did one in District, which is in Piccadilly, who have a terrible, or used to have a terrible reputation for not letting black people in.

Did it? So that was an interesting one to hold a party that, you know. That's very strange. And you've named them there, so can we say that? I think it was pretty well documented that there was a couple of very angry people, as well they should be.

I'm going to ask you again as a friend and a colleague. Okay. Can it stay in? Yes. Okay, fine. I'll take your word on it. I believe, I remember getting turfed out of a Christmas party at Capital Radio

that you were probably at. You got turfed out? For being drunk. You got turfed out at the Capital Christmas party for being drunk? One year, yeah. Yes, how drunk could you possibly be? For I was drunk.

Free barmua? There's talk of a chandelier being involved in all sorts. What? It was when I was a bit of an en fronteriebla. Rodney Dryer? Yeah. A Rodney Dryer chandelier? Yeah, I had a big sheet under the wrong one.

Big bed sheet under the wrong one. Fantastic. But yeah, I suppose it has been, I mean, that's just the time of year, isn't it? You always have to go to a few different pits and pieces. I was able to avoid one or two of them because I was away wasn't I and because it's getting more and more ridiculous

and more and more party time and more and more expensive they seem to be happening earlier and earlier we had one in like November didn't we it's crazy well that's one I didn't go to because I wasn't here it's crazy

yeah I've got one on Wednesday this week which is you know I've been doing that Taskmaster thing throughout the year oh yeah it's the big live final on Wednesday in London and I've got a little

letter through the post saying you've got to be in zone 1 at 12.30pm yeah I don't know where I'm going to have to go you usually wouldn't

have any truck with us if this wasn't your friends you'd be like what's going on here if I wasn't 8 points clear at the top of the table in December are you doing alright

yeah I'll do well so I might win. Is it a voting system? No. This is why a bottle of flies. You do the task. My friend Duncan, who organises it all, he gets, generally speaking,

either he judges it himself or he gets an expert from that particular area to judge it blind. I trust Duncan. He's nice. He's great. So, for example, the one we did where we had to pop a balloon

in the most elaborate way possible, he managed to get a's great. So for example, the one we did where we had to pop a balloon in the most elaborate way possible, he managed to get a guy from Ardman Productions to judge that one. It's brilliant. Yeah, it's great. So it's been good.

So that's the live final on Wednesday. So that's my last big Christmas occasion. But on that note, last Tuesday, I was up at a Christmas formal dinner at Cambridge University.

And that was the first time I've ever been to any kind of establishment dinner like that. And it had like a proper choir doing carol singers and everything. You have to mind your P's and Q's. Yeah, you have to wear a certain amount of garb. A certain amount of garb. Yeah, I couldn't go in my Tarzan pants. No topless men, please.

And you have to stand up and sit down. They say stuff in Latin and you pass the port and all that kind of stuff. I felt like a fish out of water. Jesus Christ. I was sat opposite a very fae, but also interesting Italian lawyer. Okay, right. I think the last time I was in a fancy hall like that was in Portsmouth at a Neville wedding.

And the hall was so grand, I felt very out of place there. But obviously obviously a very different vibe because men would not stop shouting during those speeches did you did you um were you dressed as a provincial hypnotist for that um probably was yeah yeah i was also filming proceedings with a um with a super camera as well hipster baby did you do that on your own account no one ever asked you to do that no but i thought I'll film it and I'll make a little kind of like, because everything in Super 8 looks lovely. Really, really nice.

I mean, listen, mate. What are people going to think? Listen, mate. 95% of the people that don't know you, you turn up. With a Super 8 camera. Dressed like a provincial hypnotist with a Super 8 camera. They're going to think of two or three things. Pervert.

Right. Pretentious. Right. Pretentious pervert. All the Ps. Have you got PPI? Yeah, no, I don't mind. Did you have a nice time?

I had a lovely time, but I presented the happy couple with a video at the end of it. Did you have any fizzy lager? I had loads of fizzy lager. Yeah. And also a physical film.

You know, you can put your, you know, you can unfurl it to the light and you can see you and your wife on the best day of their life to the light and you can see you and your wife on the best day of their life that's nice

couple of frames of knobs in there like Fight Club how did they get in there or a sexy lady in a bikini on a car how did that get in there

oopsie daisy amazing and what else was I going to say to you oh yeah and then after our Christmas dinner you and I we went to

a hotel bar after walking for what seemed like they're going to say to you oh yeah and then after our christmas dinner you and i um we went to a hotel bar after walking for what seemed like three hours in the pouring rain although at one point um me and jules and jim found a big lion a big fake lion uh that had just been actually a tiger i can't remember um i was drunk um in the street that was just getting actually it might have been a tiger I can't remember I was joking in the street that was just getting absolutely rained on it just looked like a if like a tiger was homeless it looked like

because he was just propped up against a post box and it was like why is this someone's won it at Winter Wonderland down the road

bang in I thought you were joking when you didn't know where that came from well it seemed like it had been there for months it looked really dirty

I think Winter Wonderland has been there for a wee while. Someone's bought that or won it and thought, I don't want it. I don't want it and just left it there. And then everyone just walked past it. But it's just nice to pet a stuffed... A stuffed lion is for life, not just for Christmas.

Top tip for those living in London as well. If you need to buy a present for someone for Christmas and you're thinking about buying them a book, go to Hatchards on Piccadilly. It's an independent bookstore, so it's not one of the big chains and they wrap your books in beautiful wrapping paper

and ribbons for free. I'm not being paid to say that. It's just a great service. Or just you in the pocket of big parcel. Yeah, in the pocket of a big wrapping paper, yeah. Go on, carry on.

There's some lovely shops, obviously, behind Charing Cross Station, you know, a little kind of muse of bookshops. Always, always Station you know a little kind of muse of bookshops always always in the

yeah always in kind of London based films romantic I remember I know the area but I didn't know there was bookshops there

bookies yeah because I bought my secret son was Jim Campbell and I bought him two excellent books The Spy and the Traitor which I talked about on the show before

and The Moons of Bloom yes David Niven's all about me. I knew that this was all... Containing the peach story, isn't it? Yeah. I bought Lord Ramblin' Knife. Yeah, I know.

That was a strain. He had to take my plastic bag so he could pack the knife into a plastic bag and wrap it up so he could actually get into a bar. I'm trying to get him into a gang. You're an idiot. Yeah. What are you planning for this week, Pete D?

I am going to... I'm just tying up the loose ends left, right and centre. I've been absolutely ready for nine years, so I'm just kind of squaring shit away, quite frankly. Getting stuff tied up. You're having your standard four weeks off for Christmas, are you? I'm having a little time off for Christmas, yeah. Well, you know, I like Christmas and I live miles away.

It's just quite hard to get home and back. And you want to get... Spend as much time as possible in your mum's courtyard. It's just quite hard to get home and back. And you want to get, spend as much time as possible in your mum's courtyard. It's a lovely courtyard. Yeah. A little bit, really wet windows. What would you be expecting from your parents for Christmas?

Well, if past Christmas is to be, to be taken into consideration, my dad's, either last year or the year before, got me a plastic engine that you can fill with petrol

and he bought it from a charity shop and it had weed in it it had a little block of resin in there well it just left by accident it was like

assemble your own assemble your own engine so your dad bought you drugs for Christmas yeah assemble your own engine and he bought it

from a charity shop and it had a little square of weed in there. Amazing. Have I told you about the... Speaking of underwhelming dads. Have I told you the... I told you a story back in the day about a man who... My best friend from home, Alex.

His stepdad took all of the housekeeping money for the week and did a bungee jump. Yeah. He is a wrongan and maintains his wrongan-ness but his Alex's mum reminds

obviously does a story that we never heard before and she came on one night and went come on come on Janet let's get your

glad rags on I'm taking you out for a meal and like Janet oh cool awesome puts all her fineries on spends his on her makeup and her hair and stuff Get your glad rags on. I'm taking you out for a meal. And like, cool, awesome. Put all her fineries on. Spends her makeup and her hair and stuff. Soup kitchen.

Fucking hell. That's bleak. Some men get away with so much. Why is he doing that? How does he not know that's worse than not taking someone out? I mean, soup kitchens, they're amazing things. They do amazing things for people and they're good on them. But I don't feel like it should be

like a night out touristy thing. No, it's not. But as he said at the time, you can't turn down a free meal. She was so embarrassed. She went. She went. She had the meal.

So, disappointing. I'm just saying that some men get away with producing very little in a relationship. Are you one of those people? Not that bad. What are your strengths? What would your lady partner say are your strengths?

Are you on time? No. No? Are you polite? You are very polite and generous. But then what if you, but what if you're with someone who's also late?

Then you're on time. Then you're fine, aren't you? You just literally never meet each other? No. Because one's always later than the other? It just carries on

I like I know tech obviously yes that's helpful any tech requirements I'm there I'm sorted yeah

there you go I wonder if like say you're in a same sex relationship and both of you are really good at tech yeah because you're both

of the same sex maybe you get into quite a bit of rivalry about it right okay so you'd be like completely sure about who goes to DIY kind of projects.

That would not happen with me because I'm just absolutely shit at it. But there you go. Who knows? Have you got any tools? What's your toolbox looking like? Yeah, I've got. So, I mean, my expertise, if you want to call it that, which you absolutely should not,

my competency extends up to and including light fittings, plug sockets, plugs. I could do all that. I can do shelves. So the kind of basic rudimentary stuff that you don't need any specialist skills to do, I can do. And other than that,

I always get into this kind of, I'm not one of these ambitious people where I'll be like, I could go online and find a YouTube video and read a kind of, I'm not one of these ambitious people where I'll be like, I could go online, find a YouTube video and read a kind of a guide on how to, you know, plaster that wall.

Yeah. But at the same time, it is my house and I quite want to not fuck it up. Right. Yeah. Because if I fuck it up, the stakes are so high

that I'm going to have to get someone to do it anyway. I'll just get someone else and to do it. And then I tell myself lies, like that's the best thing to be doing because it's helping the economy. Yeah. You know, that kind of stuff. So, like that's the best thing to be doing because it's helping the local community. Helping the economy.

Yeah, all that kind of stuff. So, like for example, if I need some plumbing doing, I'm not even considering getting involved. I'll just ring a plumber.

Do you count things like a toilet, like fixing a toilet as a plumbing issue? So I fixed the toilet when I was in the US, which I may or may not have blocked. Oh no! With a plunger. That's not fixing a toilet, that's plunging a toilet.

Well, I've done that. I mean the innards in the top of the toilet. Fuck that, I ain't touching that. I ain't opening the top of a toilet. Not even to pop a little tablet in? I don't know what any of the things in there do, so I'm not going to get involved. You familiar with the ball cock? What about you?

I've done that. The only time I've ever seen inside the top of a toilet is in, is it the film? No, in The Godfather, he's got the gun behind the toilet. Right. In the film, it might even be in Breaking Bad when he's got a gun sealed in a packet.

In a Ziploc bag. They do that in Police Quest, the video game, which I loved immensely. Yeah, so I'm not going anywhere near that. No. And I don't think you should be either because you flooded the downstairs neighbours once. That wasn't my fault, though.

That was just the shower, the pipes that are behind a lot of tiles just depositing water into the cavity wall. I think every disaster teaches you a little bit about something new. So I just think it's good. The best players don't beat themselves up about it. Except that about Luke and Pete, yeah. But I've got like a little mini hand sander,

and I'll bloody use it. Bloody hell. And I used it on my jeans at the weekend to distress them so I could make some ripped jeans. Are you being serious? Oh, it was a fancy dress? It was a fancy dress. It was like a 90s night.

I wasn't... I mean, I have looked at them and thought, I want to get away with wearing those now. Who were you dressed as? Just a 90s guy. I thought you sent me

a message saying you were dressed as Ed Norton. Not Ed Norton. If someone's... Ed who? He's in Terminator 2. Yeah, Ed Furlong.

Ed Furlong, yeah. Ed Furlong Ed Furlong yeah Ed Furlong he yeah I thought I made a passable Ed Furlong on the night but well you've got to face him

as you look like everyone yeah it's really easy to mess up that's right he's had a lot of issues Ed Furlong yeah he doesn't look the same as he does

I would say I used to look like Macaulay Culkin when I was 12 and I probably look like him now and that's not a good look no Ed Furlong I think I look like Macaulay Culkin when I was 12, and I probably look like him now, and that's not a good look. No. Edward Furlong, I think I look better than Edward Furlong now. I'm going to say it.

Edward Furlong wasn't like heroin for five years. So, I mean, it's probably... Look, alright. God bless him. My heroin is still to come. Apparently he's doing alright now, though. Let's have a little break, PT, and after which... Actually, no, before we have a break, I will say to you, I've got a drill, got a handful of screwdrivers, I've got some other bits I will say to you, I've got a drill, got a handful of screwdrivers,

I've got some other bits and pieces that I need. Yeah. I've got a tape measure. Polyfiller? Yes. I buy that on the squeezy thing. Why?

Because you get it pre-mixed. Yeah, you get it pre-mixed. What? Yeah. How have they managed to do that? That's so much easier. Yeah. Wow.

I always use that. That's so cool. I'm mixing it myself. Although if my old man listens to this, he'll be gutted. But that's just how it is. All right, then. We'll be back in a second. She's going to report me for saying bugger, you know.

Oh, just wait till I see your mother. You're in real trouble. Oh, I say, when she's going to go and see you, then tell her this bugger-shaped, funk-shaped fucking sphincter. Bit strong, isn't it? How does he get to sphincter? Isn't sphincter just like a medical word? It's not next off the...

It doesn't trip off the tongue, does it? There are many swear words for bot-bot, and sphincter probably isn't one of them. In the Pez dispenser of swear words, that's right at the bottom. Sphincter. What's at the top? Fuck.

Yeah. Because a sphincter apparently is a circular muscle that normally maintains constriction of a natural body passage or orifice. Yeah, you've got loads of them. You've got one up top, one down bottom, probably a few in the middle. Yeah. Sphincter's left, right and centre now. Buy two, get one free.

Emails, hello at lukeandpeachshow.com is the destination. We always love to hear from you. We're on a particular lookout for Christmas-themed emails for obvious reasons at the moment and other bits and pieces like that. But I am going to start with an email from Justin. And he says, regarding your chat about video game music, I have two points I'd like to make because we were talking about video game music a few weeks ago.

He says, the Colorado avalanche of the NHL, when a team's player gets out of the penalty box and returns to the game, they play the Super Mario Mushroom sound effect. Which one's that one? I'm about to play it to you. So what happens is when a team, as a player's been put in the penalty box,

I guess for ease of understanding, the sin bin type thing, which happens quite a lot in hockey, when they come back, so there's the full complement of players back on the ice, they play the following sound. Right. This sound that you're going to play,

I can't remember if indeed or ever knew it. You will know it. You're 100% good. No, no, no. But I'm going to guess that it's an up because you get bigger, don't you?

Like that. Ready? Here we go. Ah, cool. Hear it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what I play. cool hear it yeah that's what I play that's so cool good stuff right

yeah that's really cool quite funny so thanks for that Justin that's a really nice addition to I suppose

in a roundabout way video game music in professional sport well Nintendo are very careful with their IP so I'd be worried if I were

that particular football team. No, they're a nice hockey team, as I've made it very clear. Football team. It's kind of like football with a stick. Football team.

Justin says he'd like to see in the Premier League, as soon as the clock hits 90 minutes, every stadium should be required to play the Super Mario hurry up, you're running out of time music. Which I think was just the music,

but faster, wasn't it? No, that's the underwater faster, wasn't it? No, that's the underwater theme, isn't it? When they get down the pipe, they go, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do but when you run when you're about 30 seconds away from running out of time I think it's just the general music but it's just sped up

it's not that that's when you get Starman oh right okay yeah I've not played that last Mario to be honest there we go

you touched me I love it probably the only man who didn't touch you from the 80s Joel Dixon hello Joel can't be arsed to listen to Back and Check but I'm sure Duncan Bannertine's I didn't touch you. From the 80s. Joel Dixon. Hello, Joel.

Can't be arsed to listen to Back and Check, but I'm sure Duncan Bannertine's D.I.D. What's D.I.D.? Desert Island Discs. Cool. From memory, every choice was prefaced with a rather dry anecdote, such as my wife told me she likes sardine, so I sent a helicopter and flew her

into a garden party to perform live for us. Absolute personality vacuum and soul thief. Yeah, I remember his. I'm just bringing it up to remind myself. His selections, Maggie May Ross Stewart, great song, but quite basic. Don't You Want Me, The Human League, not a bad song, but again, quite basic.

Green Green Grass of Home, Tom Jones, Tie a Yellow Ribbon Round the Old Oak Tree, Love Changes Everything by Michael Ball nice The One and Only by Chesney Hawks Shoulda Woulda Coulda by the excellent

Beverly Knight and also the disarmingly attractive Beverly Knight as well and Give Peace a Chance by John Lennon and the plastic

Ono band so Beverly Knight will never stop will she nor should she she'll just never stop I love Beverly Knight

she's great. And there is definitely a thread of, and I thought it was just limited to celebrity chefs, but of men of a certain age and who have achieved a certain thing in their lives by being quite single-minded and focused and ultimately quite boring outside of their chosen field of just having the worst music taste.

Now, I know you're going to hide into nothing, just criticizing other people's music taste. I don't have any beef with whatever people want to listen to. But when you see them do stuff like that, you think it's just so boring. It would be the equivalent of going out for dinner with your wife or your husband or whatever once a week and only ever going to TGI Friday

and only ever ordering a boring meal from TGI Friday. I can't make the point. A steak. A steak and eggs. A well-done steak. Yeah, but like people, I think everyone at a certain age kind of, I had a dream that my mum wanted to take me to China.

I don't know why. Right. And obviously that's something she'll never do I had a dream that my mum wanted to take me to China. I don't know why. Right. And obviously that's something she'll never do because she's let her passport run out and she's not interested in going anywhere. She wouldn't go on the holiday you bought for her once, would she? No, she wouldn't.

No. She's a disaster. Yeah. What was your point you were going to make? Your mum wanted to take you to China? I'm just saying the people that my mum and dad are like set in their ways, they will never deviate from going to York,

Manchester or London they're the only three places they'll go my parents love to travel they always go away and stuff very sad speaking of steak do you see exactly how

Andy Brasso has his steaks errr bloody as hell yeah yeah so you ate your steak sunshine medium medium

but then you left the bloody you left the fat that's part of the bloody steak. You could have had it. Why didn't you have it? Because I'd already... I know it's nanobots, it's a cow. I would have had it,

but I'd eaten a lot of cheese and I'd just eaten so much food I couldn't really bother with it. Brassel said he got into eating steaks rare, or blue, which is, I guess, even less cooked than rare when he lived in France.

And I thought to myself, the scene is so typically Andy Brassel. I think with, but I think if you like your steaks, if you, because I like it medium rare, if not rare, but it's very variable.

Rare looks like rare usually, but medium rare can be, can be medium. My stomach won't stop rumbling. Little gurgle, little gurgle boy. I do that on, when I do the voiceovers for D-Max,

one of the Discovery channels. About half an hour into the session, I'll get like halfway through and my stomach will start going and you can hear it if you listen to D-Max

all Christmas. Can you still hear it? You can hear it. And coming up next we'll be building Alaska. The reason it happens to me is because my routine is different to yours

and the rest of the Ramble Boys right because you guys like to do stuff later because I'm a bit of an early riser so I have my breakfast at like 7.30 right

so I normally have my lunch around now but I can't on record though well now I'm not on now I'm not on lit I'm going to try and get into morning pizza zone

I think it'd be quite useful for me wow that's a beast we've never seen no I don't know what that would look like to a stranger the rarest

but it just means by the time we get to record the Ramble of this I think it'd be quite useful for me. That's a beast we've never seen. No, I don't know what that would look like to us. The rarest of the dangers of the beasts. By the time we get to record the ramble of this, might be a bit more woken up. Might be a bit more in the game. I think people just want to hear the best of you, mate. That's it. Let's just do one more email before we go. This is about Christmas food from DJ.

He says, Luke P, in America, Italians do the feasts of seven fishes on Christmas Eve. And my Portuguese family has adopted this since we love fish and my uncle's family is Italian. It's incredible.

A haddock lightly fried in Parmesan breading and we have a Portuguese squid stew, scallops, maybe a spaghetti or linguine with shrimp, calamari,

usually some cherry stones and oysters with Tabasco, some baked cod and potatoes and we always do a good chowder. 12 days till I get to have all of this. Then for Christmas itself,

it's prime rib and a small turkey, but the prime rib is the main course. My wife's family do, I think, beef as well. Christmas Eve and Christmas in Boston with a Portuguese slash Italian-American family. Lovely. And the Irish in my family who show up are always astonished

by the myriad of different dishes, and that food cannot actually, doesn't always have to be bland. An unwelcome dig at the Irish there at the end. Unnecessary, DJ. Can I interest you in a bit of cuttlefish? Inky cuttlefish. Would you love to go to DJ's house for Christmas Eve?

Sounds brilliant. Does sound good, doesn't it? Sounds good. I had the hake at the weekend. Oh, you did, actually? Rare. Yeah. I feel like when you go through loads of Christmas dinners,

by the time you get around now, you feel, I don't really want another turkey. I'd rather save it until Christmas Day. I would rather have fish. There's a lot of Christmas meals that could be replaced by fish very, very easily. Does your mum do a turkey? No, we always have.

I've told you, it's all cold cuts, beef, pork, nonsense. Oh, yeah, you said that before. I was disappointed in that. Yeah. What are you going to do? What are you going to do? All right, well, listen, to get in touch with us, it's hello at lukeandpeachow.com.

We'll do some emails next time about some... We've got a load of gladiators to tick off the list. Do a bit of that next on Thursday. Have a lovely week, and we'll see you then. Pete, have you got anything to say? I have nothing to announce but my brilliance. Make of that what you will.

This was a Stakhanov production.