The Luke and Pete Show - Episode 199.88: Marine Kong Karate

Episode Date: January 16, 2020

Have you ever knowingly downloaded a podcast that is 30% Hairy Bikers content, 30% emails about animals killed in Canadian suburbs and 40% about The Brittas Empire? Well, you have now, and we make no apology for that. You'll never look back.We also take the time to trawl through a load more of your missives (and bloody great they are too), and for the first time ever, set you, the listeners, some weekend homework! That's right, we want you to listen for the all-new homework section and report back to us on Monday with your findings. No excuses, now!Come find us on Twitter @lukeandpeteshow or email us: [e-mail]***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

all right marine con karate men how the devil are you this is thursday this is lugan peach and my name is pete donaldson i'm joined by one luke mo Luke Moore hello we're muscling through how you doing I don't feel like we explored the Marine Kong Karate Man enough on Monday he could have been a character

that went up against the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers that we mentioned back in the last show people will be very very disappointed to know that

I haven't seen a sketch of that I mean we talked a lot about your sketchings your drawings Marine Kong Karate yeah you should draw a picture of it he could be, we talked a lot about your sketchings, your drawings. Marine Kong Karate. Yeah, you should draw a picture of it.

He could be like the mascot for the Luke and Pete show. Marine Kong Karate. He's a... He's a... He's always hanging around the docks dressed as a karate expert

and he is a gorilla. So this sounds a bit like the opening to the film Big Trouble in Little China. Okay, right. That's literally what happens in Big Trouble in Little China okay right that's literally what happens in Big Trouble in Little China

oh my god speaking of monkeys and gorillas I last night went to a comedy show featuring Daniel Kitson

Daniel Kitson oh yeah great we celebrated Daniel Kitson was the was the compere honestly that man he's obviously

a lot of you know everyone says he's brilliant and stuff he is one of the best like his every every line he throws out is a picture there's no kind of like dead space in his in his words he's so good um but the acts he was introducing on the night were variable yeah

started with a sketch group not a good idea wait until late wait until they kind of you get what do you reckon danielitson thinks of that? I don't know. You'd think he'd be involved in the curating, but clearly not. Well, he's so protective over his reputation and his stuff famously even, that why would he be associated with it? But just seeing him compare for like, you know,

10 minutes here and 10 minutes there, it's like, Jesus Christ, that man knows how to comedy. I've actually seen him compare as well. I saw him at a place in time. Yeah, he was excellent. And now you've mentioned it, I remember exactly the same issue. But the other comedians that came along,

it was like... Yeah, exactly. Even if you bring your A game, you're never going to be as good as the compare in that particular situation. Problem with comedy, stand-up comedy, there's too many of them. Nina Conti, the one who's just like,

does she have a puppet or something, or a mouth? I don't like her she debuted a new character where she's head to toe in a gorilla monkey suit

and she's got a little movable mouth where her mouth is and she can make it talk and stuff they had no material for about 15 minutes

they had nothing this American guy Nina Conti in a fucking monkey suit it was They had no material for about 15 minutes. They had nothing. This American guy, Nina Conti in a fucking monkey suit. It almost got brilliant because they had nothing. It wasn't funny at all. They hadn't planned it. They hadn't planned anything. They hadn't written anything.

What's the act? Well, I just put the suit on. And then what happened? What do you mean? It's so rubbish. It was so rubbish. So if you do get the opportunity to see Nina Conti as Monkey and the other person is with her,

just do it because it is funny but awful. The only reason I know who she is is because she's done TV, so she's obviously a successful person. Yeah, yeah. There's too many comedians. That's the problem. Yeah, well. There's too much comedians. That's the problem. Yeah.

There's too much of everything now. People have gone people have gone right. People like that stuff. Let's do just loads of it.

Whether it's films or TV shows or podcasts. Yeah. Basically. Yeah. Unless you're right at the very top of

the tree like us Pete. Yeah. It's a waste of time. Yeah. Top of the one of these every fortnight.

Yeah. Halcyon days. It took me three years to convince you every fortnight yeah halcyon days it took me three years to convince you to do it halcyon days and now here you are twice a week Donny yeah can't get enough baby

and were you there with pals and stuff yeah yeah do they know Daniel Kitson yes yeah did you chat to him do they know yeah do they know him I mean

no why would they why would they no because you hobnob with comedy writers and people like that Mark Haynes for example was he there Mark Haynes, for example, was he there? Mark Haynes wasn't there, no.

Okay, right. He's the kind of guy who would probably know Daniel Kitson. Maybe, yeah. Yeah, so I'm just saying, you hobnob with these... Don't play it with a straight back. Hobnobbers! Oi, don't try and make out that you're some kind of Wild West renegade, the man with no name.

Okay. You spend all your time with these people. Right, fine. Groucho. Groucho. What does that mean Groucho. Groucho. What does that mean? You remember the Groucho Club? I remember the Groucho Club

but I've not been in since I signed back up. And you signed back up because of the incident before, right? What do you mean? Like as in? As in you were asked to leave.

Oh right, yeah, yeah. It was like a one year suspension. Something about rude drawing. You're smoking your big vape pen. Your big, weedy vape pen in the holes. Who drew... Right, everyone.

Excuse me. Sorry to interrupt. I know everyone's having a nice evening, but I've just been in the toilet and there is a giant sketch of a muscle man chopping off another muscle man's arm. Who's done it? You just at the back, like Strider in Lord of the Rings.

Could have been me. Elon Musk. Like a Groucho Marx Elon Musk. I'll take it. Yeah. I'll take it.

What else has been going on Donny? That's it really. What else have I been doing this weekend and week? Played a bit of

football, fell into the union as the band Gomez once sang. What if Piccadilly is an underrated number? It's a banger. It's obviously a good album.

Did it win the Mercury? It won the Mercury, didn't it? I saw them live a couple of times. So boring. So boring. That's the problem. There was a good generation

of bands who came through, I want to say, sort of late 90s. I would actually put Coldplay in this. They came through at the same time,

maybe a little bit after, where they wrote good songs and it was fine. And yeah, people liked listening to them. But ultimately, their aesthetic was just, we are normal people, which is obviously fine

because it's relatable to people like you and I who are music fans of that age who want to go, oh yeah, great, they're just normal people like us. Go and see them live. Dreadful. And that is why

the Strokes were so important. Right. Because they came for obviously 2000, 2001. great they're just normal people like us go and see them live dreadful and that is why the strokes were so important right because they were like they came from obviously 2000 2001 they had cooler leather jackets well just from another planet yeah at that point no one was wearing like skinny jeans and like converse trainers and they were so new york and so glamorous obviously the music was brilliant as well but that's why it's kind of interesting that people forget over time that music it's not just that for example is this it by the strokes it's a brilliant record it is that but it's also because it's that it stood for something more it did for me anyway it's the same with oasis it wasn't just the fact that oasis made good songs back in 94 95 whenever it was it's just i remember

at school i might have mentioned this before to you, but I remember at school, almost overnight, it went from carrying a guitar around school would be something you'd get bullied for to, fucking hell, he's got a guitar, he's cool.

And that's what Oasis were able to do for people. They were culturally much more significant. And you've got a band like Gomez who are fine. Like you say, Mercury Prize winning band, good album, that song's brilliant,

but they never had a more cultural significance. Another example, Travis. Fine. It's fine. They did have cultural significance,

Travis, because every fucker had that dolphin flick haircut for about a year. Do you remember? Every man, every receding man would sort of push

all of his hair up. It's called the Hoxton Finn, I think. The Hoxton Finn. I think it's called the Hoxton Finn. Come on, yes. True, he popularised it. I think the Hoxton Finn was more of a m Hoxton Finn. I think it's called the Hoxton Finn. Come on, yes. True, he popularised it.

I think the Hoxton Finn was more of a mullet. Yeah. Yeah, it was kind of like a mid-naughties mullet. And do you not find that, yeah, I remember I had the modern mullet, I have on those, but do you also remember, one thing that sort of puts me in mind of this

is that, I don't mean to bore on about music because it can be dull, so I'll wrap it up by saying that when I say it like Gomez, Coldplay, Travis, they're all just fine. It's decent. It reminds me of the fact that

it feels like these days things are either brilliant or shit and there's nothing in between. There's nothing just fine. For example, this podcast is fine. It's not brilliant. It's not shit. It's fine.

I know what it's closer to. That's the current rating right okay we'll see what happens but you know what I mean it has to people I don't see really

kind of I couldn't say the last time I saw a three star film review right okay yeah or a six and a half out of ten album review

like people feel the need and I think it's significant at the sign of the times that's significant as a sign of the times that we live in where most of the coverage

of things is on the internet. The internet lives and dies on how many people look at it and so they have to develop a story somewhere. And like,

why can't things just be fine anymore? Why can't we have like an American president who's just okay? Right, okay. Not like shit or brilliant

or why can't we have a prime minister who's just not the most evil human shit or brilliant or why can't we have a prime minister who's just not the most evil human being to ever live there's nothing normal anymore you have to be a caricature one way or the other

yeah do you agree with that yeah it's all got like wrestling isn't it yes you've got to be the most evil person in the world yeah you've got to be a face or a heel

you can't be like in the middle what's happening in wrestling at the moment I don't really know a woman who was going to be the big happening in wrestling at the moment? I don't really know. A woman who was going to be the big champion

in one of the bigger indie outfits. She was giving it the big licks on Twitter going like why can't women support each other

and stuff. She's going to be the new champion. And then a lot of her colleagues or ex-colleagues came out and said hey do you remember when you shot the N-word

into a black woman's face in Japan great and she's like oh dear so she might not get that oh dear and I think

one of them died someone parked someone parked like an old Mexican wrestler I think might have died recently I'm getting that wrong but it was in my

men of honour whatsapp group another yeah are you still a member of that proud boys whatsapp group they're so proud they shouldn't be but they are and I because I remember a WhatsApp group. Another, yeah. Are you still a member of that Proud Boys WhatsApp group? They're so proud.

They shouldn't be, but they are. And I remember seeing over your shoulder on your phone that the logo of the group is a tiki torch. Yes,

exactly. Tiki torches are cool. Why have they, why have fascists ruined the tiki torch? Yeah. They look great. Used to be,

tiki torch used to be something that you would have stuck in the ground in a bloke's who was a bit, is the same age as you, but kind of was more sensible and bought a house

before you were able to buy a house and he had one in the garden. That's what it used to be to me. But another example of this thing that everything's either good or shit, BBC website at the moment have got a big story about how

making space in our lives and decluttering and stuff is really important. Right, Marie Kondo style. Yeah. And, I mean,

it's another example. Do we have to either, we either have to live this minimalist kind of Marie Kondo life where we don't have any things or we're just hoarders.

Most people are just in the middle. Yeah, well they are. I'm in're just hoarders. Most people are just in the middle. Yeah, well, they are. But I'm not saying... I'm in the middle. I mean, you're not in the middle. You're a massive hoarder. Well, no, I've just got a small house.

If I had a bigger house, you wouldn't notice how much, how many automatons, for example, I've got. How many have you got? Three? I've got about seven now. Have you? I've got...

Tell people what they are, because some people won't remember. This will be baffling to you, but some people won't know what that is. Automatones are a little kind of like crotchet, if you know what, the shape of a

crotchet slash tadpole slash sperm kind of musical instrument. It's an electric analogue instrument that sounds a bit like a synthesiser but it's got a little

mouth, a little adorable little mouth but there's so many different editions. There's like special kabuki masks, there's Kiss have released a special limited edition version

Kiss have endorsed everything you can get a Kiss lawnmower and a Kiss coffin so I'm pretty sure you can get a Kiss one of those

I like it so yeah every time I've got Japan I pick up a couple and I can't resist them even though they are made incredibly poorly what about

this volcano in the Philippines started spewing lava why this? Volcano in the Philippines. It started spewing lava. Why are there no volcanoes in the world anymore that aren't spewing lava? Not again. Every single volcano has to be spewing lava or doing nothing.

Yeah, exactly. Why can't we just have one that just does a little dribble? Yeah, where's the normal volcanoes at? Right, while we try and find some things that are just normal. And also, after this, we're going to do something a little bit different as well, which is very exciting.

So stay tuned. We'll have a little break and we'll come back. With the right equipment you can make your own sausage at home. Make your own sausage at home, Luke. I'm not really sure why I chose that piece of... Would you make your own sausage at home? I would, actually. The thing that

scares me... Yeah, fucking go on and do it then, you bastard. Right, I'm fucking doing it now. The thing that would scare me about it, Pete, would not be the mix of the sausage and the, what do they put in it? That suet type thing. But it would be getting it into the sheath. Into the sheath. Do you have trouble with that, do you?

Well, I watched an episode of the Hairy Bikers once. Yeah. And one of them was very good at it. Right. And the other one was very good at it. Right. And the other one was very bad at it. Okay. And I thought I would find it hard. It comes out of the machine really quick,

and you've got to kind of hold the sheath over it. Every time I weigh myself, I think of the Hairy Bikers, because they say, weigh yourself post-poop, pre-breakfast, naked. And I think about one of the Hairy Bikers naked every time I stand on the screen. Well, I don't know why you wouldn't weigh yourself naked. Presumably you don't want to be weighing your clothes.

No, exactly, yeah. That's just pointless. I'll just weigh the clothes afterwards and then figure out, well, deduct whatever you've got. I always weigh myself when I do weigh myself first thing in the morning. Completely Billy Bollocks. Oh, what an image. What an image.

What do you think about that? How's it going? I saw a tweet the other day speaking of the hairy bikers which annoyed me irrationally because someone got a tweet that went viral, got like 50,000 likes because he said,

someone looked at the hairy bikers and said, yeah, we should give them a TV show. Basically saying that they're not the most aesthetically pleasing and that it was just a random appointment. And anyone who knows anything about the Hairy Bikers knows that they were

TV producers for years before they were front of the camera they worked together on cookery shows as producers and directors and stuff and then they went

front of the camera I like it are they both Geordies? no one's Geordie the other one is from I want to say Yorkshire maybe right okay

yeah and they just happen to be good friends and hairy and bikers. I'm going to put it out there. It's not going to win me any cool fans, but I think they're great. But did they adopt the bikers moniker? Were they bikers before? I believe they were sort of motorcycle enthusiasts. Enthusiasts.

Yeah. Right, okay. But I think there's a lot to be said for their nature and their kind of... The thing I like about them, and you and I have had this conversation about Jim Bowen and you don't agree with me and that's fine, he's dead now anyway, but is that they're very,

like, there's not enough people in TV now who are just normal. Do you know what I mean? Working class voices, would you say? Just normal. People with accents.

Fine. I'm happy for them to be working class. I don't care what class they are, really. But, but, they, those guys are good at,

I mean, one of the series they did, they tried to find the best home recipes of classic dishes. They would go to different people's houses

and go, right, how do you make, I don't know, a fucking apple crumble or whatever. How do you make spaghetti bolognese,

Peter? It's mainly tomato sauce. Yeah. They should come to your house. Right, I'll just put this in the oven.

Oh no, can't go in there. And they were going into real people's houses, talking to them, and sitting down and eating dinner with them, and it wasn't weird. You go and see Nigel Slater, for example. I mean, he shouldn't be going to people's houses.

He's a strange chap. Most people, take Vernon Kaye, for example. Right. Does he do a lot of that? No. There's a good reason he doesn't do a lot of that. Because he's got a northern accent

and people think he's normal but I bet he's not normal you're not normal you're alright everyone look we have an ear could you go to someone's house for dinner and be normal

no I don't want to be in an airbnb I don't want to be in a B&B so I'm not exactly going to do that am I but do you understand what I mean

now the generation of people who present TV shows are all kind of stage school kind of I used to be a model so now I do this or used to be a model, so now I do this, or I used to be an actor, so now I do this. Yeah, but they have to be.

They have to be independently wealthy. Sure, I'm not blaming them personally. They have to be independently wealthy to go down a particular road, because the economy is fucked. We're all poor. And that's how it works. So that's why you get pretty much everyone.

I was watching Once Upon a Time in Hollywood a couple of days ago, and like... Oh, is that good? There's a couple of actors in there that are from acting families let's say and that's

happening more and more and more people are getting opportunities they may be talented they may not

be talented but they're getting opportunities that by rights should be people who aren't the sons and daughters of

very well off celebrities dynasties are a bad thing. A bad thing in politics, a bad thing in that kind of stuff as well, I agree. Speak the Chinese, mate. They're having a lovely time. They're all over it.

They're doing it. That's why they loved Trump Jr. because they sort of saw him when he had this, because his focus was obviously the Middle East and China. His focus. His focus, let's say. I think I'll do Middle East and China. His focus. His focus, let's say. I think I'll do Middle East and China. As much as an offspring of Donald Trump can have focus.

Please, daddy, like me. The only thing he's fucking focused on is Fortnite and his fucking mates. That's it. But they sort of saw him as not necessarily a liability or an idiot or just a patsy um they saw him as like oh well this is how we do things in china dynasties happen uh sons of of elected officials um do help feather the nest and run the country yeah so they kind of saw him as as kind of a more um chinese

kind of uh kind of character like a like a man befitting a station. And then they found out he was an idiot. And they just realised that they could play him like a violin. Of course they can. Fun, fun, fun. Useful idiots all over the place. Speaking of, very briefly,

that kind of nepotism type thing, it happens in internships as well, doesn't it? They're the only people who can afford it. Exactly. To get in the door and also to be it? They're the only people that can afford it. Exactly. To get in the door and also to be able to afford to do it. There was a company,

I forget the name of it, but it got shared on Twitter last week that was saying internship available with this dynamic fucking high-paced or whatever

they say. And it said, and it's a great experience for you so that's why you'll be paying £15 an hour to do it. Fucking what world are we living in here, man? It's absolutely insane. say and it said um and it's a great experience for you so that's why you'll be paying 15 pounds an hour to do it fucking what world are we living in here man it's absolutely insane it's crazy um

we're supposed to do an email aren't we did we have a break or not uh yeah we did do we have a break yeah we did yeah yeah okay fine let's do emails now all right let's do some emails baby uh i've got one here and it is i'll tell you what i've titled this email, In a Quiet Canadian Suburb, Something is Afoot. I love it. And it is from Craig Clark, who says, Hi, I was listening to the latest episode and your conversation about local Facebook groups really caught my attention

because the group in my neighbourhood is quite, let's say, vibrant. I live in a city called Burlington, which is about 30 minutes west of Toronto in Canada. My neighbourhood is incredibly North American suburban. The local Facebook group is always filled with interesting stories that shake the suburban populace to their core. As a local journalist

it's a good resource for unique stories The past summer the neighbourhood was in an uproar over a family not properly maintaining their front lawn to the point where some neighbours complained to the city about it and it turned out the neighbours who live in the house with the overgrown lawn were amonest or people who believe each living thing,

including grass and weeds, has a soul. The family had been in a legal battle with the city over landscapers cutting the lawn without their permission and the city not respecting their religious belief. That's mental. One of the more recent stories, and the real reason I wanted to reach out, is that in our area,

there is a sewage runoff tunnel in a park. They're quite common in the city. They are generally concrete tunnels that run under streets, connecting different storm runoff ravines, etc. I'm sure we've all seen them. Recently, a person in the neighborhood was walking their dog in the park where the tunnel was, and decided to take a few steps into the little sewer.

Inside, he found piles of carcasses of dead neighbourhood cats, raccoons and squirrels. Each animal had their liver removed and blood was sprayed all over the walls of the tunnel. A lot of the neighbours think it's coyotes or another predator because our neighbourhood backs onto miles of forest.

The person who found the pile of animal bodies has set up a camera, and the neighbourhood is waiting in suspense to see what could be performing these mass murders. Anyway, enjoy the show, and I think the local Facebook groups think it could be an interesting thread. All the best, Craig Clark.

Well, Craig, you have to give us a follow-up email on that, and I would be pointing the finger straight at the guy who found the animal bodies. Werebeast. And is now setting up a camera, in quotes. Yeah. To me, it feels like he's protesting way too much. My dad's got an animal camera. I bought him to look at the animal bodies. Werebeast. And is now setting up a camera in quotes. Yeah. To me it feels like he's protesting way too much.

My dad's got an animal camera. I bought him to look at the hedgehog. My mum and dad have got a hedgehog in the back garden. Oh, bless them. It's mainly pavement in my mum and dad's backyard.

So I don't know why. Is it one of those ones that the camera records for like five seconds at a time or something? Yeah, it detects motion I think and then films. So I think my dad caught

the hedgehog on camera last year. So, interesting. Well, you think your dad's noct, and then films. So I think my dad caught the hedgehog on camera last year, so interesting. Well, you think your dad's nocturnal, so presumably he can just walk into the garden and look at it.

He could do, I guess. Yeah. He could do. Hello to Tom Thorpe. I hope this email finds you both well. Recently came across this article which sounds like something that fits well

within the show's remit. A woman from Devon realised that her knees looked like none other than EastEnders bad boys Grant and Phil Mitchell. Oh, very good. In the article, she says that she first took over them about seven years ago,

but only recently remembered she had the lads' faces on her knees when she showed someone at work. Apparently, she's thinking of starting a YouTube channel for them. My God. Which is something I'm sure we'll all look out for, I'm sure, especially those of us with a YouTube premium account. She actually posted a video of an odd dialogue between the two knees talking to one another and it looks like she's added some lipstick to one of the knees.

I believe Phil, after he'd been caught kissing someone by Grant. Have any of your listeners got some celebrities hiding on their bodies? Maybe even soap stars? Perhaps Peggy Mitchell's face and an elbow? Who knows? Do you remember that Man City footballer Leroy Sane

was photographed having other footballer Ian Dowie in his throat oh yes that rings a bell it does happen it does happen I'm not sure

I probably would be interested for a minute or two literally a minute or two of a video of her moving her knees and someone put a Phil Mitchell and

Grant Mitchell conversation over the top of it to see what it looked like. But beyond that, I'm not that interested. Is it something that's going to be frequenting your YouTube premium channel, Pete? Holly from Brompton, who has a concierge business, said, years ago, I noticed that my mom had faces on her knees and found it all quite funny. I checked my own and realized they both look like two bald babies.

Or Phil and Grant Mitchell. It's just kneecaps, isn't it? It's just kneecaps. Anyone who's got a kneecap could be involved in this. Yeah. What about this from Andy from Scotland who says, Hi guys, I know I'm a little late

but I thought I'd share my story of meeting Warrior when I was around eight. My dad was the manager of a leisure centre that just recently built a soft play area for kids which was a big deal at the time

and who did they book for the grand opening? None other than Warrior from Gladiators. As a perk of being the manager's sons, my brother and I got to come in with him in a limo. This is brilliant, right? Or possibly just a stretch car, which seemed massive to my eight-year-old eyes,

to pick up Warrior from the airport. I love that! Warrior's opening a legislature in Scotland. I need a limo from the airport. I want a fucking limo from the airport, all right? My two main memories of encountering Warrior in this limo were firstly, him crushing my eight-year-old hand when shaking it. You hate that.

Yeah, firm hand shakes, piss off. And then, while I was in the car sandwiched between my brother and I taking a call on his massive mobile, which was the height of technology at the time, he proceeded to talk for about ten minutes, then switched it off, looked at me and said, wrong number. I thought he was the coolest man alive.

As an aside, another perk of my dad being the manager of a leisure centre was on Boxing Day when the building was closed to the public, my family got to go in

and use the pool, the flumes, the saunas and anything else we wanted with no one else there. My brother and I used to love this and thought it was just normal

to have this all to ourselves how good is that? that is cool as a kid I'd be loving it that's the dream is there a lifeguard present? no there isn't get on with it

it's the 90s brilliant that is fantastic stuff it reminded me a bit of the British Empire which is the show that everyone's forgotten about I imagine it's probably shit

and dated terribly but I'd like to revisit just to check it was a show that had it was a set apart really I know it's probably shit and dated terribly but I'd like to revisit just to check it was a it was a show that had it was a set apart really I know it was set in a in a

leisure centre wasn't it but I just think it was quite more interesting than I think people remember like we had

we had who's the guy who played Gordon Brittus he also played Rimmer in Red Dwarf his name is it's not Danny John Jules

that's Cat it's not Craig Charles that's that's Kat it's not Craig Charles that's that's Rimmer no Lister Chris Barry Chris Barry

he's in the Tomb Raider movie as Lara Croft's butler it's very watchable oh and you know I said to you earlier in the week I saw Little Women who should pop up at the end

playing the dad of the family Bob Odenkirk lovely to see him Lovely to see him. Lovely to see him. Would it have been as good if Chris Barry was doing it? No, actually. No, it wouldn't. As the hologram.

Very, very weird. Yeah, I used to love... Who's the bloke who always used to have wounds and sores? Was it Kevin or something? There was a guy... What, in British? Yeah. Yeah, I know what you mean.

Mr. Brit-ass. Yeah. Mr. Brit-ass. Yeah. Mr. Britt-ass. I would, Mr. Britt-ass, but I have got a terrible boil on my arm. Was he Welsh? He was either Welsh or Geordie. I can't remember.

I think you're right, yeah. And the receptionist used to give him a baby in the drawer. It was a lot more subversive than you remember. It was a man with just open wounds and sores and weeping cuts and bruises. Some very sexy kind of personal trainers and stuff. And then you had a woman who was like, used to keep a baby in the drawer.

It was a wonderful show. Colin was the name of the guy who had severe skin allergies with a constantly infected hand. Yeah. Sounds good. It sounds good. We should revisit it. All right, listen, before we get out of here and...

Wait. Oh. Have you seen mum? What's Oh. Have you seen Mum? What's that? Have you seen Mum? Yeah. It's the woman doing the talking knees. The Mitchell brothers.

Doing her hair. Right. Okay. Does she know about the other night? It needs some work. I think that's gross. I mean, that's what... He's just whispering.

It's a classic local journalism story. Before we get out of here and get ready for the weekend, it's time for something a bit different, Pete Donaldson. Oh, Ang Fire. It's time for the topics. The moment you bite into a topic. Something we're going to be doing every single Thursday. Great stuff.

It's a new feature. The topics. I hadn't heard that jingle before and I like it. I actually like it. What we're going to do is, in addition to you guys emailing us on hello at lukeandpete.com, which we welcome and we enjoy, we are going to set you a homework assignment every weekend

and you will get amazing props and bonus Luke and Pete show points as a listener for fulfilling the homework and I've got a list of things here that I want you to do and I'm going to pick one at random and you have to report back to us by emailing at Luke and Pete show hello at Luke and Pete show dot com

Pete give me a number between 1 and 5 and that will correspond with one of the homework assignments that I'm going to give to the listeners. Four. All right, here we go. Number four. Okay.

Go up into the attic and tell us the most interesting thing you can find. That's go up into the attic and tell us the most interesting thing you can find. We're doing this on a Thursday because you're going to have a bit of time over the weekend to get up there, find something, report back, tell us about it, tell us about the story behind it,

and we'll do it on Monday as part of our all-new homework section. Maybe put homework in the subject title of the email. That's go up into the attic and tell us the most interesting thing you can find. I'll be doing the same. Pete will also be doing the same even though you haven't got an attic. No, that'll be me going up

into somebody else's flat I think do that the most interesting you can find great that's your assignment for this weekend there'll be another one next

Thursday we will report back all of us on Monday have a great weekend that's been Thursday's episode of the Luke and Pete show it's been bloody

lovely having you along thank you very much Pete Donaldson bye bye see ya long. Thank you very much, Pete Donaldson. Bye-bye. See ya. This was a Stakhanov production.