The Luke and Pete Show - Episode 22: Egg Security

Episode Date: October 30, 2017

This week on the loosest show in town our eponymous heroes follow up on last week's battery chat with several of your example cells, and bloody enjoyable they are too. Elsewhere we chat Ridley Scott, provincial towns, sleepwalking with bizarre consequences and the natural coating one can find on an egg. Oh, and a Luke and Pete Show legend actually makes a contribution to It's Been as well and it's all very exciting... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome back to Luke and Pete Shaw, the Luke and Pete Shaw with the Luke and the Pete. Hello, I'm Pete. Hello, the Pete. Hello. I'm the Luke. I've just had to change headphones because Jim Campbell of the Photo Ramble, you might be aware of his work, he's got a really small head turns out. It's like a vice grip on my head again.

It doesn't do much work. What's going on? He won't listen to this. How does he have room for his... Head. What? How does he have room for his head? How does he have room for his head? How does he have room for his thoughts? How does he have room for his... Head. What? How does he have room for his head? How does he have room for his head?

How does he have room for his thoughts? How does he have room for his head? He's a competent stand-up. Does he just put a vice on top of his head and just let it all come out and then that's it, sure? If you've seen him, maybe that's exactly what it's like. I don't know. It's like that Mitch Hedberg joke where he holds the microphone

with the cable. Right. And he pinches it. He says, if I pinch this for a couple of minutes and let go, all the jokes come out at once. What's your favourite Mitch Hedberg joke? I really like his bit about when he says escalators can never be out of order. Yeah, yeah.

They can only become temporarily stairs. But he wastes the lines. He says, this escalator is temporarily stairs. Sorry for the convenience I like the one about the defrains in the restaurant

where he's like party of four the defrains the defrains and then they just move on to someone else like they're in a

restaurant and they can't find the defrains and they just move on to the next picture and it's like who could eat

at a time like this where are the defrains I also really like it when he says he starts with a joke by saying And they just move on to the next pick. It's like, who could eat at a time like this? Where are the Dufresnes? I also really like it when he says, he starts with a joke by saying, I used to take a lot of drugs.

I mean, I still do, but I used to as well. I like it when he's got one of those fake cans that you keep money in and stuff. And you put it in your cupboard and it's like a secret kind of hideaway with drugs and money and stuff. And he goes, oh, can I use this? My friend's around my house and he says, can I use this kind of Febreze? And he goes, yeah, if you want to spray your clothes with documents.

Oh, Mitch Kempberg. He didn't do much well before he died. Very sad. Well, rest his soul. I miss that guy. He's decent. How have you been, Luke? You all right?

Very well, thank you. Back with episode 22. I tell you what, episode 21, or how it will forever be known, the battery show. I've never received, for obvious reasons, so many pictures of batteries. Actually, if there's one person that would be surprised to hear that, it's for you.

You call them cells. You're serious about batteries. Cells. Well, nowadays, it's nice to see a branded battery because nowadays, batteries aren't replaceable. Electronics aren't generally serviceable. So to see a little battery compartment with a

non-union battery that's not Duracell or EverEddy or any of the big boys, it's quite nice because everything's like lithium batteries. Everything's flat. Everything's rechargeable. And those lithium batteries, if you stab them, they go up. Or they go big and explode. We wouldn't recommend that.

Very dangerous. Leave that to the professionals. If you haven't heard episode 21 and you're wondering what we're talking about, that's your own fault. Stop immediately and go back and listen to 21 now. Why not start with this one? But, yeah, so these non-branded batteries we were talking about, so many people got in touch on Twitter.

I retweeted so many people got in touch on Twitter. I retweeted so many photos of people's remote controls into our timeline. And we got a lot of emails as well. Before we get into its being, and we've got a bit of a surprise on that front, which that's very exciting. We'll come on to that in a moment. I've got a little collection here of people's different brands of batteries. Do you want to bang through them?

Yeah, I'll do them real quick. So basically these are batteries that people have found in their remotes, in their headphones, anything that requires a double ear. And there are some interesting brands. Callum's got in touch with some new Ultras. New Ultra, that sounds a bit right wing, but we'll

leave that one there. Mike Branner found some Japan Techs. Japan Tech! They basically went, right, what's really technological advanced? Japan. Matthew had some active energy in his remote, as did Shane. Andy had some Shen Kangs in his sound bar. Shen Kang, that's Chinese, isn't it? And a load of people, including Justin, have found some Mustangs.

Mustangs. The open roads with some double A's. I think of it as a horse. Okay. And my favourite is Jimmy Lynn, who discovered some super heavy-duty high watts in here. I mean... That is a battery that does not muck around.

Shouldn't be high. It should have the normal wattage, to be honest. Yeah, no high wattage. It should have the normal amperage, normal voltage. We should have the normal amount that an AA should supply. A lot of them feel like they've been named by Google Translate. Have you seen those really cool AA's that came out probably about six years ago now that you can just flip the top off and plug it into a USB port?

That's a very good idea. Nice! I haven't seen that, but it makes perfect sense. Yeah, a little rechargeable. So apparently a prison trick is to leave them on the radiator whenever you're not using them. Right. And that prolongs the life.

Oh, does it? So if you've got them for, say, like a transistor radio or something, if you're not using the radio at that specific time, so you're going to bed or you're going to sleep or whatever, I think prisoners always used to pop them on radiators. So they don't dry out. I don't know what the science behind it is, but apparently it works a treat.

I mean, dangerous, because if they overheat, they will probably leak. Probably more likely to leak that way, I guess. And also, that's how you start fires pretty well. Have you ever charged batteries in a prison? Get in touch. Have you ever attached the positive to the negative and set fire to something?

Maybe you sell. Maybe you started a prison riot with one. Please get in touch. Please get in touch. Hello at LukeandPeteShow.com. Yeah. Should we do the It Spins now? Should we do the It Spins now? Well, it is a bit of a surprise. Luke, you probably want to fill people in on this, so shall we listen to it first? Yeah, let's listen to it first. Okay, right.

Off the mobile phone. Alright, dude, see you later. See you later. Oh, it's audio. It's audio, yeah, yeah. Luke and Pete, Stephen Page here wishing you a very merry

It's been. That is the man himself doing the It's been jingle for us. Incredible. Especially for Luke and Pete. So the way that comes from, my friend Tom, do you know Tom Wally?

Yes, I know of him. So Tom Wally, I think he's currently a producer on Huey Morgan's Six Music Show. Oh, yes, yes, yes. I think he worked with Laverne. Yes, I do know Tom, yes. Nice guy.

He worked with John Hillcock as well, who we both know. Anyway, so he gets in touch with me over the weekend and said, oh, you never guess who I'm with? And I was like, who is it? And he said, it's this guy. And I said, please get an interview. And Tom's really good at that sort of stuff. So he just went straight out to him and got him to do it apparently he was really nice about it um i like to think the

bare-necked ladies have had a long career being that slightly kind of geeky they know their place i think and it's always refreshing to see a band yeah that know their place um i think so nickelback are a good example of a band who are uh vil, criticised, laughed at, but they don't seem to care. And I really like that about them. I've probably mentioned this on the show before. I think they're quite charming because they go, look, we're selling out stadiums.

We're getting all the things that rock stars get. If you want to laugh at us, knock yourselves out. I don't care. I think that's fine. Look at this photograph. And I think that's fine. Right.

And Stephen Page, the guy, I don't think he's in Bare Naked Ladies anymore, but he did sing that line. Okay, right. And Stephen Page, the guy, I don't think he's in Bette Naked Ladies anymore, but he did sing that line. Okay, right. So it does count. But I like it. What I should be saying here is, of course, Stephen Page is a huge fan of Luke and Peach.

Yeah, of course. He's obviously going to do the jingle for us at some point. Well, the way he sort of went, it's audio? Yeah, he definitely knows what we're all about. But the only thing I would have liked to have changed about that would have been getting you and him in this studio. And having an Ed spin-off. Yeah.

Ed spin! No, that's poor. Ed spin! That was good. That was a good one. I've done it for a while. That's why. So I'm going to get back to Steve and Paige and say,

you know what, probably not going to use that. We've got someone in the studio to do that for us. Maybe I could join the Barenaked Ladies on stage just for that song. I would like to see that. If any of the management of Bare Naked Ladies want to get involved. But I've just realised

we're not doing it, Spin, because it's an email special this week. Well, that's alright. I mean, a little cheeky little bit of it, Spin. That's how I always start the show.

It's the loosest of themes, isn't it? Yeah, I mean, what have we been doing this week? I went to Portugal and I sent you a picture of a load of batteries. Do you know where that

picture was taken of a bin full of batteries? I used it for the profile picture on Twitter a bit. Go on. It was in a McDonald's. Oh. They say on the continent you're allowed to drink. You're allowed to drink in McDonald's.

You're allowed a beer. But you can also dispose of your batteries safely. But there were just so many different brands in there, which I got really excited about. I appreciate you sharing the picture. That's your takeaway from Lisbon, is it? A lot of batteries. I also went to a puppet museum as well.

That was pretty exciting. I mean, don't go to a puppet museum on a hangover because there are some monstrosities there. I'm showing you some now. There's a weird kind of one with a moustache. I mean, I'm showing you one there. Yeah. That's a bit racy.

I think if I went to that puppet museum on a hangover, that would upset me. Yeah, I'm showing you now one that's a skeleton puppet. The man who crafted this particular puppet clearly had never seen himself in a mirror. Never seen another body. Never seen a human body because he doesn't have... It's a really stocky kind of like... It looks like he's got dwarfism, I guess. Yeah's never seen another body. He's never seen a human body because he doesn't have, it's a really stocky kind of like,

it looks like it's got dwarfism I guess but really long legs. So yeah, very strange indeed. I also went to the communications museum and found out all about

the burgeoning 18th century Portuguese post office and how that worked. Interesting? Not really, no. I had to go on a rotary phone though.

It's been a while. Oh, yeah. That's an arse on, isn't it? That's a right old arse on. And do you know that's why the emergency number in the United States is 911? Because the first one's a bit... Right, okay, yeah, yeah.

Because 999's a right old pain in the behind. And someone was telling me, it might have been someone I used to work with who was a bit older than us, said that they visited a distant family member or something and the family member in question had a, not a ridiculously

old rotary phone, but like an old house phone in the house. And this colleague of mine said that their daughter, I think, didn't know what it was. Oh, that's terrible, isn't it? Kids who go up to a telly and think it's a touchscreen. Everything's a touchscreen in their lives. Yeah.

And apparently you can always tell who, if you're a millennial, I guess, and younger, you will turn the light switch off, I think, with your thumb. Yeah, I heard that. Rather than your finger. I heard that, but I heard it with doorbells. Oh, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

They go with their thumb rather than their finger. They probably don't even know what a doorbell is. Because when was the last time you actually had to ring a doorbell? You're usually texting someone going, I'm outside. Yeah. I'm downstairs. My even know what a doorbell is. When was the last time you actually had to ring a doorbell? You're usually texting someone going, I'm outside. I'm downstairs. My house has got a doorbell. Right.

The people who deliver things to my... Let me get this right. The people who deliver the things my wife buys off the internet, you will always use a doorbell. Apparently, there's a new Amazon thing that you can have an app connection to your door lock. And Amazon can... So there's a camera Amazon thing that you can have an app connection to your door lock.

And Amazon can basically... So there's a camera that sits behind the door. It's a really kind of complex kind of answer to a very simple question. Just leave it on the porch or whatever. But anyway, so Amazon are delivering something. They have a connection to your door, your front door, basically, on an app. I'm not interested in that. No.

So they swipe. They open the door and leave your product inside the door so it doesn't get stolen. That is absolutely ridiculous. Why is that really ridiculous? Well, because half the people who deliver Amazon Prime packages, it's just a bloke in a car. Yeah. But the thing is, he'll have access to it, but the thing is, the camera starts rolling.

So you can see if he's been annoyed. Oh, so after he commits the crime, you can definitely catch him. Brilliant. So the upsides to this are it's marginally more convenient than going to your own front door. Yeah, I don't think that anyone's going to be utilising it. It's not a problem that needs to be solved. That's the thing, isn't it?

Who's that in my house? It's the Amazon man. Too many people are solving problems that don't need to be solved. Well, it's like the big news story last week was all about the Airbnb NHS room. Yeah. And you're like, no. I don't know who's going to be up for that.

And the only people who would be up for that are ne'er-do-wells. Right. You're thinking about yourself, then. Well, remember the stink that the black cabs kicked up about the Uber drivers and stuff like that? And I understand why they wanted to demonise the Uber drivers. There's a big And I understand why they wanted to demonise the Uber drivers.

There's a big cup of racism into the bargain as well. But I would say that the Airbnb, it only takes one wronging to let a vulnerable person in their house to ruin it for the government. Yeah. For the government. I saw a lot of PR guff around Airbnb the other day. And it was something along the lines of,

oh, not content with their current business model of how they work. I'm sure everyone listening will know how they work, so I don't need to explain that. They're now thinking about building, and it was something like a bespoke building with individual rooms. Hotel. What? A fucking hotel.

This is Silicon Valley. That is not a new invention. You know what you came from. Yeah. You know why that exists. I did stay in a couple more Airbnbs. I tell you what, my Airbnb profile is insanely good at the moment. It really, really is.

I'm so pleased with how that's gone. Can I shock you, Pete? What? I've never used Airbnb. What? Never. It's so much cheaper. Especially in America.

You go to America, maybe still use it. My family lives there. Yes, I don't need it. My family. But I've never used it, mate. Never. Never? Never. It's so much cheaper. Especially in America. You go to America, women be stealing it. My family lives there. Yes, I don't need it. My family. But I've never used it, mate. Never. Never. Nope, not once.

The best ones are ones where they just leave the key in a lockbox and you never need to talk to anybody. I don't like the ones who sort of are in the house when you get there and they go, don't touch that.

And here are the great restaurants. What I've noticed is there's always a vintage radio in an Airbnb. There's always like a 1970's always a vintage radio in an Airbnb. There's always like a 1970s Eastern Bloc radio in an Airbnb. Certainly in Central Europe, I've always found.

It's weird, strange. So we talked before about how you don't like staying at a guest house because it feels like you're staying at someone's house while they're there. Yeah. But I quite like the sort of the hospitality side of it.

Yeah, I don't want anyone looking me in the eye sort of saying, eyeballing me saying, don't mind it. Yeah, I don't want anyone looking me in the eye sort of saying, eyeballing me saying, don't do what you're going to do. The unspeakable things you've done in that room. The unspeakable things.

Mate, in my it's been, I think I told you this. I ran the Great South Run on Sunday. Oh, that's right, yes. Did you do some frubing? Good. What does that mean? The frubing,

the energy gels. Oh. The jam bombers. you kept messaging me that. I didn't know what you meant. That is my life, just people going, there's probably something from the north. Yeah, sometimes I don't know what you mean and I feel awkward about saying it. Yeah, it was an ordeal, to be honest.

The first sort of, so I'll put it out there for everyone in case anyone cares. I'm not a very fast runner, but I used to be quite a consistent, dedicated runner. So I used to run three or four times a day. Yeah, yeah. And my personal best for the Great South Run, which is 10 miles, was one hour 24, which is not too bad.

Right. And I knew I was in nowhere near that sort of shape this time around, and it was last Sunday. I hadn't had any training at all. And obviously you can get away with that sort of thing when you're in your mid-20s or whatever, but now I'm not in my mid-20s. So it was interesting to see how hadn't had any training at all. And obviously you can get away with that sort of thing when you're in your mid-20s or whatever, but now I'm not in my mid-20s. So it was interesting to see how it would have panned out.

And so for the first few miles, I was thinking if I can get this done in an hour and a half, the last sort of half a mile so I can up my pace and just have a nice strong finish and go under an hour and a half. Anyway, to cut a long story short, by about mile seven, I was like,

just finish. Just finish this without stopping. And it's the only thing I can take away from the whole process is that I was able to run it without stopping, but beyond that, it was a pathetic performance.

What was your time in the end? One hour 36. That's all right, isn't it? I mean, what's that? 12 minutes slower. So? Yeah. I mean, it's an hour and a half.

If you said, oh, the new, I don't know, Batman film is 12 minutes long than the last one, you'd be like, I could probably stomach that. Yeah. I mean, it's an hour and a half. If you said, oh, the new Batman film is 12 minutes longer than the last one, you'd be like, I could probably stomach that. Yeah, I suppose. If it's a good run. Good way of looking at it. You could have watched, the amount of time it took me to run that Great South Run,

you could have watched one feature-length movie. Well, not nowadays, though. They're getting longer and longer. People want their pound of flesh. Well, that's why Dunkirk was so interesting, right? Yeah, enjoyable. I was talking to, I think I might have mentioned this before, Billy Corgan's got some very strong feelings about the fact that the studio system,

film was very expensive back in the day. Films were only an hour and a half, hour and 20, and you could just sit down, watch it, enjoy it, beginning, middle, end, get out. I have no stock in long films. That said, I have watched Blade Runner a few times now. Oh, you like it? The new Blade Runner.

I like it a lot. I still haven't seen that. My take on the film thing is that there's just too many of them. There is too many of them. To me, it seems absolutely impossible how many films there actually are. If it was, say, limited to two a month, I would be able to watch all of them. I wouldn't care how long they were. I never understand how,

because you're a pretty good example, is that you consume a lot of media and read a lot of books and I don't know how you do it in the time that you, maybe you don't have a video game system in your life. I've just got one.

You've just got one. Yeah, I've just got a PS4. What game did you buy with it? Overwatch. Overwatch. I mean, bearing in mind you've probably never used, played a twin stick shooter before,

jumping straight into the most competitive video game. It's like me, I don't know, I'll take up a spot. What will it be, like Murderball or something? Like something really violent. Well, you said the entry level's quite high. Yeah, I mean, you're going to go online, you're going to get shot the flip up. When you just described the format of game that it was, I didn't understand it. Twin-stick shooter?

Yeah. But my wife wanted to buy Overwatch. My wife. And I got FIFA 18, obviously,

because I'm a bloody bloke. But generally speaking, the answer to your question about the media and the books I

consume is, the short answer to that is that I am fiercely intelligent. Right. And so I'm able to do it.

I don't actually read that many books. It's not that true at all. I say you do. Pass nots. Of course I do. Pass nots. I don't actually read that many books. It's not that true at all. I say you do. Pass nots. Of course I do.

Pass nots. I've got that skim reading app that the world's most successful people apparently use. It just sounds like, have you got time to be alive? No? Then do this.

Use this bloody app. Make everything miserable. Think reading's one of life's great pleasures. Wrong. Read as many as you can as quickly as possible now. Drink everything miserable. Think reading's one of life's great pleasures. Wrong. Read as many as you can as quickly as possible now. Drink your medicine. Yeah.

I interviewed Andrew Garfield about his film Breathe. Not heard of it. Dreadful. It's about the bloke who contracted polio when he was very young in a wash block.

So Pete? He made some amazing wheelchairs that had an integrated compressor, defibrillator, whatever the long thing they use. Okay. If you interview someone like that, a big name, they're in a movie, you do not like the movie, how do you approach it?

Well, there are two schools of thought. You can sort of either mention a very specific part of the film, love the lighting in this. Love the cinematography. Or I loved your performance. I go the third way and just lie. Andrew, I thought this film was great, even though it was hackneyed, sub Hallmark Channel dross.

Directed by Gollum from Lord of the Rings. Yeah. Don't say that, though. Dreadful. Have you ever been in a situation where... But you know when you see a film where the main actor's been let down by the script or just the storyline or the film itself? Yeah.

I do think... I've seen a few films lately where the script hasn't been worked on hard enough or it's really ill-willed or ill-tempered and good actors can fall short. But have you ever been in a situation where you've known it's a bad film, the actors know it's a bad film, but you've all got to carry on with the charade? Just the charade, yeah.

I think that's implicit in all of those kind of junkies. I wrote Steve Cooney, he said, I have been in this room before when I've been plugging a crap film. He said, luckily, this is not one. Okay, right. Okay. And was that a good film?

That was Alpha Papa. I mean, that was a good film. So, yeah. Have you got another siege to go to? That's my favourite line. Shall we do some emails? All right, let's do some emails. Because that is literally

about 20 minutes of preamble, which is our thing, really. It's the Luke and Pete show, not the listener and listener show, is it? Exactly. Fuck you, listeners. Yeah. Are you paying fees for recording studios? I think not.

Can I open this particular part of the show with... We haven't done a jingle. Do you want to do a jingle? Let's do it here. That was a jingle. There we go. Can't deny that was a jingle. Can't deny. I want to start with this email from Elliot Castle,

if you don't mind, Peter. I don't know if you've seen it. He says, hello, Luke and Pete. Long time listener, first time emailer. The only, he said, I love the show, but the only downside would be a recent pod in which Pete's complete lack of local Hollywood Hartlepool film trivia knowledge came to the fore.

Right, okay. Ridley Scott, we talked about him about three or four weeks ago. Ridley Scott was indeed born in South Shields, but spent a lot of his time around Teesside, with the local steelworks at night being a major inspiration to the start of the original cult sci-fi classic Blade Runner. Yeah, coming over the Transporter Bridge. Right, okay.

I didn't mention that because it's obvious. It's a story he's repeated and also, to be honest, Ridley Scott changes his bloody story every time he talks about Blade Runner. He's like,

oh, this is the inspiration. Oh, does he really? Okay. He's chatting to my lady, your face was the inspiration for Blade Runner. Well, listen, the quote that Elliot's included

from Ridley Scott is here. There's a walk from Redcar into Hartlepool. I cross a bridge at night and walk above the steelworks. So that's probably where the opening of Blade Runner comes from. It always seemed to be rather gloomy and raining, and I just think, God, this is beautiful.

You can find beauty in everything, and so I think I found the beauty in that darkness. And then my dad in the chemical work shouts out, are you fucking going to... You wanker. Wanker. Get off my crab. I'll open you up like a chrysanthemum.

Get off my crab. Get off my crab. So you're saying you like a chrysanthemum. Get off my crab. Get off my crab. So you're saying you already knew that? I did already know that. I didn't say that because Ridley Scott, he's very chatty about his films, isn't he? He's very kind of like, oh, this was an inspiration for this.

And then he makes the last three films that have been pretty dreadful. I think if I was someone who had, and I wouldn't necessarily disagree with that. But I think if I had a body of work of that quality, I probably would make loads of stories about that. Why not? I mean, who cares?

Yeah, it's true. No one cares. I mean, his track record is incredible. It's saved for the ones he's made in the last five years. I didn't think... What's the movie you made for me recently because Prometheus

looked great but it wasn't very good and the one after that is called Covenant and I actually thought that was a bit better yeah I enjoyed it anyway

but I'm a sucker for that because I'm the right age range for that I used to love alien movies when I was a kid but that's why they're kind of like rebooting

ever since they're rebooting all these films from Terminator to even bloody Starsky and Hutch and the A-Team and those kind of cash in beer watches and stuff like that, ever since they're rebooting all these films from Terminator to even bloody Starsky and Hutch and the A-Team and those kind of cash-in Baywatch and stuff like that. It's dads taking their kids

or mums taking their kids because it's the TV show they watched when they were a Ben and it's kind of like double bubble. It's quite a cynical move. Yeah, I think so, yeah. There's no craft, there's no art, there's no love for the characters I think. Do you know what John Woo said about Hollywood? Woo!

I love it if that's how you had to pronounce his name. John Woo! He said, Hollywood's not in the business of making art. It's in the business of making money, and it occasionally makes art by mistake. That's fair news. Have you got an email? I've got an email from James Stittle.

Yo, Stittler. After listening to Luke talk about the cats of Istanbul, I remember that Peckham has its very own colony of feral cats that live in the car park off Rye Lane. Oh, I've seen this. It's near where I live. Are they fat? Well, I presume so.

They're fed by locals, and they help to keep mice and rats away from the butchers and the fishmongers, et cetera. No, I read a story about them a while back where they were worried about them because they were getting fat because everyone was feeding them. Right, okay. And I think they might be getting diabetes or something like that.

I'm being serious. What are they feeding them with? God knows. They even have a number of cat homes that are stacked in one corner of the car park. So that very much is like what Istanbul is. They have little houses and little bits of food out for them and water and everything. Yeah, okay. So it sounds similar.

In the 70s and 80s, I remember the 80s in particular, you would see stray dogs. You don't see strays anymore. It's fascinating. Why not strays? It's a good question. The strays in Istanbul had tags on their ears, the dogs. Yeah.

So I guess they were registered strays, which seems to be a bit of a contradiction in terms. But I've obviously got two cats myself, so I don't need any stray cats around. Well, speaking of people who don't necessarily have the most conventional of lives, either feline or human, street heroes. Do you want a couple of more street heroes? Oh, yeah, good idea.

It's a rich scene, and I do enjoy them. Charles. Hello, Charles. Following on your thread of local heroes, I want to talk to you about the Southend legend that is Pennypicker Steve. Okay. He's a bearded middle-aged gentleman who used to wander Southend High Street wearing a high-vis jacket

and carrying a bucket. As his name suggests, he'd meander up and down the high street both during the day and at the late evening when students would be out at the local nightclubs. He was such a local phenomenon that upon seeing him, drunk clubbers would throw their loose change at him. Not necessarily the most dignified image in the world for either parties,

but he would put all the money in his bucket. Everyone assumed he was hard up or homeless. However, one day I was having a pint in the last post and saw him there more than a few pints down. Homeless people and people who live on the street are on their uppers. Are allowed a beer. Are allowed a beer, you know. Yeah. Also, I mean,

how dangerous is that? I mean, it's hard to think of a more dangerous environment in the UK. The South End. What? South End when the nightclubs are chucking out. That's all right, isn't it? No way. I never get this.

I think the more notorious the town, the more fun it is, the more kind of honest it is. You know, people aren't in the West End of London trying to pretend there's something they're not. I'm in Hartlepool. I'm in bloody Bar Paris or the gas showroom that used to be a literal gas showroom, a gas fire showroom. There's still smell of gas.

There's still smell of gas. Maybe a little bit. Since the smoking ban. They just hacked off the top of the pipes. Or possibly, God, what's the bloody disco place? I can't remember. The disco place is built in a bar Paris. That's incredible. Loon's. How could you forget Loon's remember. The disco place is built in a bar, Paris. That's incredible. It's doing it. Loons. Loons.

How could you forget loons? How could I forget loons? But you're speaking like a man with a true addiction and passion for indie clubs. I know. We've been through this. I attended a couple in Lisbon. They were a bit more cultured.

They played a little bit more arcade fire and a little less libertines. But I need to reiterate, I'm not on the chase for ladies or men or anything. I just want to have a good time. You're on the chase for sweet vibes, man. Sweet grooves. I'm just, I'm not on the chase for ladies or men or anything. I just want to have a good time. You're not on the chase for sweet vibes, man. Sweet grooves. I'm just, I'm not quite at the moment where I want to sit with a glass of bloody whiskey

or a real ale or something in a high-backed armchair, looking at the world go by. I want to be that world, man. I want to be there, making young people feel uncomfortable. Do not go quietly into that night. Rage, rage against the dying of the light. Pete, do you still wear this skinny tie and jacket combo as well? No, I don't.

I've never done that. And the pork pie hat? No, I wear my weekend suits. Okay. I wear my weekend suits. I have no weekend suits, Cleveland. So apparently the guy who collects all those coins, apparently he used to make up to £500 a night doing this.

I don't believe that. I don't buy that. All I'm saying, Pete, I completely take your point about the lack of pretentiousness around a provincial town on a night out. I get all that. I think you can have a great time. Of course you can.

But I do think those towns can be more punchy. Yeah, but just, well, maybe you're more punchable than the rest. I mean, you're certainly more visible. But I remember sort of going out when I was in Leicester with this Welsh bloke who moved in with my mate and he was like

this ex kind of steroidy guy who was like who would take you down the gym and teach you how to use all the machines and stuff

and then he'd sort of wax lyrical about you know they say like steroids they shrink your balls and stuff but you can say that

about anything you say that about ibuprofen, that does the same thing. It's like, what is it? It's definitely steroids, mate. So he's definitely an ex-juicer, or possibly a current juicer.

But whenever you'd go out with him, he would be a target for wrong-uns because he was big and muscular and he clearly could handle himself in a fight. I just think fighters attract fighters and lovers attract lovers, Luke. And we all know

what we are. And that's how we attracted each other. I don't buy the £500 a night business. No. I like the sound of this geezer,

but I don't buy that he's that wealthy off the back of it. I sort of wonder about that. We'd all be doing it, mate. £500 a night? I've got no dignity left.

We'd all be doing it. I'd be straight in the indie nightclub with a bucket of coins. Terrible. I walk past the blocks every night from work. Around about midnight, the blocks are trying to get...

I live in the centre town, and effectively what you would call the gear street slash red light district. There's a lot of massage parlours. I know where you live. I know where you live. When I got my house, I had to prove I wasn't a rent boy, which is quite funny. I don't know how you prove that you're not. Well, how did you? I know. I live. When I got my house, I had to prove I wasn't a rent boy,

which is quite funny. I don't know how you prove that you're not. Well, how did you? I know. I don't know. Terrible handjob technique. I don't know. I don't know how it works.

The thing is... They did due diligence, basically, and the person who was getting the house before me apparently turned out he did have a lot of, you know... But did you not... A lot of readies around. I often get criticised by listeners of our Uber.

The servicing rent boys. No, listeners of our Uber that I criticise you too much and I take the piss out of you and it is always very affectionate. But they do. And you're our good friend. So maybe I do sometimes

go a little bit too far. And I do... That's the context of what I'm about to say. I do understand that. But do you not think when you're about to rent a house, and as part of that process you have to prove to a stranger

that you're not a prostitute, do you not think at any point, my life shouldn't have gone down this road? I just say the word primo to myself. Primo location, I say. Yeah? Yeah. Primo prostitute location.

I'm going to make a bomb. If I get in hereitute location. I'm going to make a bomb. If I get in here, mate, I'm going to make a fucking bomb. With a little boy's bum. Peter. What? I've got a little boy's bum. I know you have, yeah.

You haven't got a bum. I told you that. You haven't got a bum. I told you that. So, yeah. What are you going to say? Apart from me having a lovely pot, bot, bot.

Yeah, the blokes who try and get men into... Not in shops, in fact. Yeah, OK. Yeah, they just kind of... Into brothels, basically. Into brothels. I just wonder. They're out there from 10pm until, like, 5am in the morning.

Right. And I wonder how much money they get from the massage parlours and the brothels. Yeah. It can't be more than a tenner. Can it? But they're out there for hours, so they must have to

get at least, say minimum wage is like what? Living wage is like 12 quid. I don't think they're going to be governed by the minimum wage. A good friend of mine is in charge of the enforcement of the minimum wage all over the UK. I wouldn't have thought that employment is covered by that. No, but what I would say is they have to make it worth their while to be out all night soliciting for men.

Do they? What do you mean? Well, why would they do it otherwise? Commission. So that's what it means, commission. So, like, for every person they get in, they must get, like, a cheeky ten or a cheeky five or something like that. But I don't know.

There's enough of them, and there's only limited amounts of people who want to use the sex workers for want of a better word like I just don't understand why it works for them. What's the difference between a tenor and a

cheeky tenor? Queen's winking. Queen's winking. What are you going to spend me on laddo? Shall I take this and down a different route?

Yeah. Shall I take this to a different direction? Take this to Old Holborn. No I'm going to take you on, laddo? Shall I take this and down a different route? Yeah. Shall I take this to a different direction? Take us to Old Holborn. No, I'm going to take you to Indiana, Indianapolis. Wow. Is that where the Indy 500 is?

Don't know. Must be, surely. Surely. Yeah, you'd think so. Indianapolis in Indiana. Where else are you going to put the Indianapolis 500? I'm not an expert in NASCAR,

but I presume that's correct. It's got to be Indianapolis. Yeah, it's got to be. And I said Indiana, Indianapolis. Indianapolis is, of course, the city. Indiana is the state. Because remember we talked about baseball mud last week? You did.

I enjoyed it. You're not listening. I enjoyed it. I switched off a bit. I went, what have I got? Mud. Where do I get some of that delicious mud? Andrew B's got in touch.

B.O. I don't think he likes that name. B.O. Oh, touch. B.O. I don't think he likes that name. B.O. Oh, yeah, B.O. He says, I was interested in your chat about baseball mud. Thanks, Andrew. Someone was.

Well, no doubt we'll get an email next week about my rent by flat. And he talks a bit about the mud being rubbed on the baseballs and what it's done. And apparently it's for grip for the pitcher and stuff like that. But the part of the email I'm particularly interested in, and I hope Andrew doesn't mind if I skip to it,

is he says, unfortunately for Luke and that weird guy who stealthily collects the mud, Major League Baseball... You're talking about me there. Yeah. We call him Pete. Major League Baseball is seemingly getting tired

of the antiquated and strange practice of mud rubbing. Right. And so Baseball Commissioner Rob Manfred has admitted that he is interested in finding an alternative to the Delaware River mud and many different solutions for making a tackier ball have been considered and experimented with. This could mean the end of the unique geological phenomenon of the rubbing mud and also the massive $20,000 annual windfall for the mud man.

What is the mud man going to do? It sounds like we got in there just in time. It'll be on food stamps. If we were doing this show this time next year, we might not have a mud man to to do? It sounds like we got in there just in time. It'll be on food stamps. If we were doing this show this time next year we might not have a mud man to talk about.

Think about that. It'll be on mud stamps mate. It's the swamp thing. It'll just turn into the swamp thing. Hang out with

swamps and go I've lost my livelihood. That's how the swamp thing got there. Actually on a similar tack did

we do Ben Goldman's egg email last week? I don't think we did. It's a lovely email. It does not ring a bell. Did not ring a bell with eggs.

They will crack. With regards to the refrigeration of eggs, you know, we were talking about, like, should you refrigerate an egg or shouldn't you? I've always been of the opinion that you don't need to. Apparently, the ocean separates two very different, distinct ideas about this. Because eggs have a natural coating that keeps our bad things,

viruses, bacteria, out of the egg and then can therefore be left out of the fridge. That's why sometimes we have poo on the egg and stuff like that and care should be taken to remove any of that stuff before the eggs are used. EU food safety regulations require eggs to be unwashed when they are collected, processed and distributed to your grocery store, thus preserving

that outer coating. I love that. Do you know why I love that, Pete? Because the EU has said nothing can be better than what nature's naturally provided for this egg security. Egg security. Let's embrace it. Yeah. Again, don't embrace eggs. They will crack. No, yeah, they will.

So, yeah, their ability to be left on the counter is fine. However, in North America, eggs are washed to make them look more presentable. Chicken poop, feathers, and straw is unappetizing. This destroys the coating, making the eggs vulnerable to corruption. There's no need to do that, though. I know. Well, yeah, exactly. Well, yeah, well, they don't like the look of the egg poop.

I'll be honest. The only reason I put eggs in the fridge is because my fridge came with an egg holder. Yeah, well, that don't like the look of the egg poop. I'll be honest, the only reason I put eggs in the fridge is because my fridge came with an egg holder. Yeah, well, that's what I mean. They're selling you a lie, Luke. Just by having six identically drilled holes in your fridge. I think I will stick to keeping them in the fridge because it's better to be safe than sorry.

I do love an egg, though. Why? Good to have your policy on that. Why are American eggs so white I don't know it's a good question is it because

they've taken the layers off and that's what it looks like after you've how do you even clean an egg without it cracking hands on a postcard guys gently I don't know

why they're white I mean I have noticed it because obviously I've spent a bit of time over there I have noticed that being the case it might be because maybe that's what it is when they've cleaned them all off. What do you think about that?

And this is what this show is all about. Do you not think that the idea of how a hen is able to develop an egg and then lay it, isn't that actually an amazing thing? It is an amazing thing. And the more I think, and I try, as a meat eater, I try not to think about where my meat comes from. People say, you should think about where your meat comes from. I was going, no, because I'd never eat meat or I'd be a vegan. Yeah, you're right, exactly.

If I thought about it, you know, there was an advert on the Tube that was basically stating about the, it was basically a company saying that supermarket hens, or supermarket chickens rather, go from born to fruition in, I think it's like three weeks or something. And they just pile on, they just overfeed them, overfeed them, they become very big, very quickly

and there's no real definition and the legs are weak and the bones are bendy and it's just fucking shit show basically. And they sort of said, we don't, we have a longer time and it's like 88 days or something. And it's like, that's still short for me. That's still quite short.

Yeah, still under three months. So yeah, interesting. For me, I do care about animals quite a lot. And I think, I've often said this to friends, there's a disconnect with me, almost like a cognitive dissonance between how much I like to eat meat but how much I would like to not eat it.

I've tried, but then, I've tried to, we sound like such, you know, Nobeds? Nobeds, yeah, don't like this. But I think I should have a policy where I don't eat, because I think beef, I could live without beef, but I'll only eat, like, that Wagyu stuff. I don't eat any other beef, I'll just eat the Wagyu stuff. I don't eat any other beef.

I'll just eat the Wagyu stuff. But you're still eating a dead animal. Yeah, but there's such little meat in a Wagyu steak. You could biopsy that, couldn't you? What do you mean there's such little meat in it? Because it's so expensive. You can only ever afford a tiny amount. Okay, right.

And that'll sate you. And that'll sate me. That'll sate your bloodlust. That'll sate me bloodlust for a little while. For another moon's term. Mate, let's change tack because I've got quite a funny email here. Okay.

And it's about British awkwardness which I think will, mate, it'll play very, very well with our American demographic. Okay? No, I just think

it's fascinating and it ends with a question so I want you to prepare yourself to answer this. Okay. And this is from Simon Lambert. He says, the other day I was

leaving Waterloo Station and was stopped by a girl in the street asking for directions to the London Eye. I explained where it was, but as I was heading in the same direction, I said I'd show her. Fifty silent yards further on, I again pointed the right way to go and left her to it, feigning to have to take a phone call

in order to extricate myself from the situation. As I was actually in a rush to meet somebody, I couldn't loiter for too long, so I began heading again in the same direction. Oh, no. She wasn't walking very quickly, though, and I could see her just ahead of me. I reckoned if I stayed far enough behind,

she wouldn't notice, but then I was thrown every time I needed to turn around a corner. She'd already made the same move as me just a few moments earlier. I thought the prudent thing to do was to try and stay out of sight, so I walked to the other side

of a number of large pillars, which obscured me from her view. I started to realise how creepy and stalky it would seem if she saw me, so I decided there was nothing for it other than to power walk past her as quickly as possible, hoping for the best and never looking back. And this made me think, what is the most ridiculous thing you chaps have ever done

in the name of good old-fashioned awkward British manners? Oh, I mean, that's a really good example, sort of the awkwardness of saying goodbye to a friend and then realising that you're both walking in the same direction. We'll give you time to think about it, because I've got an example similar to this. I once gave directions to someone, and I don't think I gave the directions very well.

Right. This was in London, and no word of a lie, it was a guy and his girlfriend, probably a bit younger than me, and no word of a lie about a decent amount of time later, five or six minutes later, I saw them again and they saw me. Not in the

place where you say. No, and they were clearly still lost. So it was like, they were like, they were obviously thinking, well, this guy's rubbish at directions and this is awkward. So I basically just, well, this guy's rubbish at directions, and this is awkward. So I basically just... Sorry! No, I had headphones in, so I just pressed on pretend not to see them. But that is bad, isn't it?

There was... If someone asks you for directions and you don't know the way, what do you say? You know what? The last three or four times I've got my phone out and looked on Google Maps. Because it's like, well... And it's usually somebody a little bit older who doesn't have that function on their phone, Because it's like, well, and it's usually somebody

a little bit older who doesn't have that function on their phone and you're like, oh, it must be around here somewhere and you find it and you get on

and I think that's a nice kind of thing to do but it is rather undignified. So you either know or you don't. I didn't say get your phone out. No, yeah,

exactly, yeah. I could do that. I could do that. I could do that. I could do that. I could do that. I could do that.

I could do that. I could do that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was this beautiful moment where there was a, I used to work for a radio station called XFM, and there was a girl on there who was called Samantha.

I didn't really need her name and shame, but I think it's a good thing. Well, you know. I don't know her that well, but I'd occasionally see her around London and stuff. Nice, nice girl. It seemed quite nice. Anyway, so I knew her by name and I think she knows me by name and we sort of nodded each other.

Anyway, there was this beautiful moment when she was walking towards me up Berwick Street and I was walking towards her and I had no, I didn't want to talk to her. You know, I don't know her that well. I've got nothing to talk to her about. I was never going to stop and say, hey, what's going on?

And you're a bit more awkward than I would be. Oh yeah, massively. Yeah, I'm not, yeah, massively. Yeah, I'm terribly. I'm wracked with guilt that nobody wants to talk to me anyway. And I was talking to her, she did this beautiful, I saw her first and then did that kind of classic look away, but look out of the corner of your eye at this person just in case they're looking, then you can give them a nod.

Yeah. And a double take. Oh, what are you doing? Yeah. But what actually transpired is I clocked her first, so I had my peepers on her through my peripheral vision, and she did a glorious, look at me, look up to the right and pretend I did not see you, Pete.

Oh, what? And I was like, oh. When I didn't want to talk to her anyway, I didn't want to say hello to her anyway, bless her. But do you think you're reading too much into that? It was pretty, she was eating a sandwich. Was it blatant? It was pretty blatant.

It was like, head up, head up and right. Were you offended by it? A little bit, yeah. I think that's fair enough. Never mind. But if she's listening,

maybe we can have some sort of reunion. That is excellent. Nice girl, but I was just like, you didn't need to do that because I didn't necessarily want to talk anyway.

Did you say anything about it? I screamed. I screamed. I screamed at the swear words. I did. I didn't, I just talk anyway. Did you say anything about it? I screamed. I screamed at the swear words. I did. I just told everyone I knew and podcast listeners as well. Yeah, every single one of our podcast listeners now knows. Have we got time for one more email?

Yeah, go on, let's squeeze it in. No, you do it. Oh, all right then. Well, shall we go for... Well, I was going to get a Mankata out, but let's go... No, do a Mankata. Well, let's go for a Street Hero and then we'll do a Mankata. Well, you told me this is supposed to be an email special

and you've done nothing about the email special side of it. I have. I read about three emails out. We do that every week. All right, well, let's do a Men Carter that's an email suggestion. Okay, okay. Here's the Men Carters. Let there be justice for all. Let there be peace for all.

And one small step for man. You don't understand. Willie was a salesman. Oh, men, cut us. This show is the loosest of themes. What do you mean? Well, it started off all taut. Yeah, I prefer it like this.

But then I think it's good. I prefer it. What do you mean, you're fair like this? I think it's good. I prefer it being loose and ready. Exactly. If it was a 90s. I prefer it being loose and ready. Exactly. If it was a 90s boy band, it'd be let loose. I can't.

No, OK. It's been a long day. It's been a long day. I just looked directly into the light, and I really shouldn't have, because I can't see the screen in front of me. They're halogen, though. 4,000 watts.

I saw my bloody eyes right now. Mark. Hello, Mark. Hello, chaps. Hello, Mark. How about the phenomenon of uh phone sharing in rural ireland oh yeah yeah yeah yeah oh hang on hang on you know what this is this is the one actually it's not even him tim this is tim hi to ignore what i just

said ignore um mark we'll get to yours in a bit uh men carter uh tim says that my wife stacy got me listening to you guys and uh the greedy cword mam story from the first podcast I adored. Definitely a correct highlight. By way of paying you back for the hours of entertainment you provided, I submit to you the story of the detective who was uniquely suited to the task of finding a mad killer. Have you heard of Robert Le Drou? No.

I'm going to say, What would be Robert Ledru? He's a French policeman. It might be your pronunciation. Yeah. In 1887, I'm going to say Robert, because Robert is silly. Robert Ledru, a French police detective, was asked to investigate the murder of André Monet

on the beach at Le Havre. You're very good at this. As a man who doesn't speak French, this sounds brilliant. Examining the evidence, the fatal bullet and some footprints he decided that he himself

had been sleepwalking on the beach and fired the fatal shot No way He turned himself in No way He turned himself in And was it actually him?

Say again Was it him? Well while he was in jail he was given a gun loaded with blanks One night he got up and fired at one of the guards at point blank range

This convinced the authorities he was telling the truth about his sleepwalking given a gun loaded with blanks. One night he got up and fired at one of the guards at point-blank range. This convinced the authorities he was telling the truth about his sleepwalking. From then until his death, he lived on a farm outside Paris under 24-hour watch. Well, hang on a minute. He's not gone away for that then? Well, I presume he went away for a little while. I mean, there'd be some kind of extension of,

you know, you wouldn't just go, oh, well, you've proved, we've given you a gun in prison for some reason that you know you've got and you've got up and you've shot someone. Philosophically, this is interesting because ultimately, it's still that human being that committed that crime. Yeah.

Well, it's the difference between manslaughter and murder, isn't it? And conscious kind of, yeah. But manslaughter isn't that. Manslaughter is that it was the, as far as I understand it, manslaughter is the outcome of your actions to no sort of planning on your side as a result of someone's death. So a murder is obviously premeditated,

which is different. You intended to kill them and then you killed them. Could you premeditate the murder and then do it in your sleep? Well, quite exactly. I think there was a case fairly recently of a guy who I think, tragically, killed his wife in his sleep.

Yeah, that rings a bell, yeah. And successfully argued that it was in his sleep and he had nothing to do with it. Did he just roll over and start throttling her or something like that? It's something harrowing anyway. Obviously, we're probably not qualified to get all Freudian about it, but your subconscious essentially still counts as part of you. So if you've committed the crime, you've committed the crime, in my opinion. There was a picture I put on the WhatsApp group of a little boy who would,

for whatever reason, because kids are mad, would open his drawer and wee in the drawer. Did I send you that? It was like a little kid visiting. His mam, after a few weeks, would go, what the hell is that smell? And she opened the bottom drawer in his room. And the kid had just been weeing in the bottom of his drawer

instead of going to the toilet, for whatever daffries and kids have to do, that sort of thing. But when I was a kid, when I was like, I don't know, I can't be older than three or four, I would open my drawer and wee into the contents. Why? At night, I don't know. It was like a sleepwalking thing.

And I would just wee in the thing, and my mum would obviously go mental. Like, it's a weird kind of thing. I didn't wee in a cupboard. Sometimes I'd walk downstairs and go, just go to the toilet, and my mum would have to mental. Like, it's a weird kind of thing. I didn't wee in a cupboard. Sometimes I'd walk downstairs and go, just go to the toilet, and my mum would have to sort of pick me up and run into the bathroom

because I'd just walk into the room. I was once, after a Queen's of Stoneage gig in Birmingham. You weren't three or four then? No. No, that's not very clear. It's weird on this one. Like, genuine. I mean, I'm kind of glad it kind of ended like this.

But I woke up sleepwalking. I was in a friend's house, massive kind of Victorian terraced house, like seven bedrooms, huge place. And I'd gone to the loo. And where the bedroom is next to the toilet is where my bedroom is, and secondly, bed would be in my own house. Right, okay, yeah, yeah. So this is the only reason why I thought this is the situation,

because I basically got the loo, basically asleep, walked into what I thought was my bedroom, just fell asleep on my bed, and there was a girl in this bed, one of my friend's housemates. I have a few questions. And she only knew I was there because I was pushing her out of the bed with my arm.

I was like, get out of my bed! Oh, really? Get out of my bed! Was she understanding about this behaviour? She could have gone insane. Yeah. But, you know, she originally thought

it was like a boyfriend who lived downstairs and I was like, oh my God. Just a mess. I bet you were very embarrassed about that, weren't you?

Well, you know, I just, I came out, I was like, like, it's a horrifying story, really. But I can only sort of

remember sort of being left back in the room and she said, the only reason why I knew that is because you were literally just, with your hand, just pushing my head out of the bed and sort of remember sort of being led back and she said the only reason why i knew that is because you were literally just with your hand just pushing my head out of bed and so get out yeah and telling her to get out of the bed because i was like and i just sort of clearly just walked um kind of like automation and i just slept and started snoozing in that bed um weird it is that

is weird and and how do you but like you know if the authorities get involved at that point you're like what can you possibly get what can you possibly explain there? No one's pressing charges. Don't worry about it. She could do historically. She could do. Terrible. I believe your story.

The subconscious is a weird thing, because whenever I have a dream now about anything, it's always set in the house I grew up in. So even if the people I'm dreaming about are relatively new to my life or modern or whatever, the setting is always the house I grew up in. Yeah. So even if the people I'm dreaming about are relatively new to my life or modern or whatever, the setting is always the house I grew up in. It never changes. And the second point is on the sleepwalker thing.

My dad says, I don't know if this is true, but he likes to take the piss. He said, and I remember the living room in the house we grew up in, obviously my parents would be sat on the sofa watching TV while I'd already be in bed, but their back would be to the door of the living room. And on more than one occasion, my dad would be sat on the sofa watching TV while I'd already be in bed, but their back would be to the door of the living room. And on more than one occasion,

my dad would be sat there watching TV at, say, 10pm, and he would just get a tap on the shoulder, turn around, and it'd be me sleepwalking, just tapping him on the shoulder. I mean, to be fair, Luke, I presume you're a little blonde, curly baby. My hair wasn't curly then, it was straight, but blonde. Yeah, yeah.

I just can imagine you looking a bit like a Victorian ghost. Yeah, it would be, yeah. It would be exactly like that. And my dad's like, it's terrifying. Yeah, it's straight right yeah yeah i just can't i can imagine you looking a bit like like a victorian ghost yeah it would be yeah it would be like exactly like that my dad's terrifying yeah it's terrifying yeah but um a little ghost baby have you seen that there's a there's a um it might be a facebook page or some some sort of social media page dedicated to the really creepy and horrible things that toddlers have said and they don't realize what they're saying yeah so it'll be like i don't know if you've seen it, but it's worth checking out. It'll be stories from parents, things that kids have said, right? And I remember one which is

a kid talking nonsense, complete gibberish to someone, to their mum, but sort of off to the side, looking in a different direction. There's no one else in their room. And the mum's saying, oh, I don't understand what you're talking off to the side, looking in a different direction. There's no one else in their room. And the mum's saying, oh, I don't understand what you're talking about,

to the baby or whatever, the toddler. Let's say she's called Daisy. I don't know what you're talking about, Daisy. And Daisy says, that's because I'm not talking to you. I'm talking to the devil on your shoulder. It's like, what?

That is so cool. Yeah, I know. A war is coming. Yeah, that sort of thing. There's loads of them. It's really funny. There's Matt Dyson, friend of another is so cool. Yeah, I know. A war is coming. Yeah, that sort of thing. There's loads of them. It's really funny. There's Matt Dyson, friend of another podcast we do. I like Matt.

He's the guy who got caught talking about avocados on the news. Yeah. That's fantastic. That's true, yeah. Really good. He was caught on a hot mic. He was caught on a hot mic. Let me tell the story really quick because it's really funny.

So Matt Dyson's a newsreader on a radio station in London. And what Pete means by a hot mic is the mic was live before his bulletin and he didn't realise. So he got caught in the studio talking when he shouldn't have been. But... I mean, bear in mind how extreme conversations can get in a studio. The things that we talk about off air like the things

that everyone talks about off air can be quite, not extreme, but it, you know, if you're talking ironically or sarcastic or something like that, it's not going to sound great. But he literally was just talking about... It's about 45 seconds of the deal he got buying avocados from the supermarket. Yeah, just give it the big one about his avocado. I love it.

And how he's sort of going, people call it avocado pears, but that's just rubbish. Yeah, that's right. He could have said, that was shit. Yeah, I know. That was effing shit. But no, he literally just went, that's just rubbish. But he's a lovely guy, isn't he? That's probably why.

He's a very sweet man. But his daughter is convinced she, who's about three, is convinced that she had a previous life. And it's really spooking the crap out of her. Oh, really? And his mum. Probably going, like they're Googling the names that she's come out with and stuff. I was in different

clothing then yeah that was when you worked down the mines yeah they wrote a piece in the she's got a website

called the mother lord so if you're a new mum or a new father it's quite an interesting read they're quite funny people and you've got a psychotic child of your own yeah exactly

add it to the comment section in themotherlord.com there we go on that note we should get out of here shouldn't we yeah I think so. Goodness me, it's at the time already.

This has been The Luke and Pete Show, episode 22? Yes. Episode 22. If anything we've talked about today, and I admit that it's unlikely, but if anything we've talked about today has particularly rattled your cage and you want to get in touch, whether it be battery brands, psychotic young children. Not the authorities in Birmingham in the late 90s, early 90s.

Sleep, well, on that note, sleepwalking. Any of the other stuff we've talked about, do get in touch. Hello at LukeandPeteShow.com. We are on Twitter and all the rest of that stuff, Instagram. Tell all your friends. If you like the show, do spread the word, and we will speak to you soon. The point is I'd never met the woman before.

I didn't know a woman slept in that room. I didn't know it was a room. It was just, yeah. Come on now.