The Luke and Pete Show - Episode 23: Sunday Brunch with Danny Dyer

Episode Date: November 6, 2017

Luke and Pete are joined by a special guest as writer and broadcaster Rick Edwards pops in to the studio to discuss his new book Science(ish) and whatever other nonsense us and you, the listener, can throw at him. Expect talk about British awkwardness, a fair bit about the science behind movies and why Rick is unlikely to ever become friends with celebrated director Christopher Nolan.Oh, there's also plenty of battery chat (obviously), the possibility that we're all living in a huge simulation, and a bit about why Rick has no sense of smell... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome back to the Luke and Pete Show, it's episode 23. I'm Pete Donaldson, the Pete component, if you will. Luke Moore is with me as well. Alright. We're joined by somebody. Yes, we've got a special guest this week. It's the Luke and Pete and Rick Edwards show today. Thank you very much. Delighted to be the Rick component of the show, actually. And for those of you who don't know Rick,

he's the star of the Netflix cartoon series Rick and Morty. Yes, I am. Morty couldn't make it, I'm afraid. Hard-drinking scientist Rick. Very disappointed not to be here. Though Rick, isn't Rick the kid? No. No, yes.

Yeah, he is the kid, isn't he? No, no, because Morty, Morty. Oh, yeah, yeah, Rick is the scientist. Yeah, okay. Let's not get into the weeds on Rick and Morty. No, let's not. Rick's here talking about his brand new book and a couple of other things as well.

But we thought, what a great guest Rick would be. He probably lives around the corner still. Does he still live in Kentish Town? Still live in Kentish Town. Kentish Town, born and bred. It took me less than 20 minutes in an Uber. Which is the only reason you did it. Yeah.

I was like, where is it? Yeah, fine, fine. When we thought about getting you on, I did say to Pete, we'll get Rick on. And Pete was like, he is quite demanding. Yeah. He'll only travel less than 25 minutes from his house. He demands to get on the 393 and have the haul of it to himself.

This is on the 393 Kentish Town. It's on the route, I think. Do you know how I'm going to get home? 393, baby. There's an Uber outside still. He's the driver's dinner. You know, speaking of that. Should we get him in here, actually?

I feel a bit bad. Complete the fall. Well, I'm paying you, so you come in here. Rick, do you know the rumour, I don't know if you've heard this, Pete, that Jools Holland insisted on the entire later tonight with Jules Holland operation be a move nearer his house in Kent? Fantastic. So it used to be done at BBC Television Centre.

Right. And now it's recorded down in Kent. And the big rumour, I don't know if it's a pop bitch-fuelled rumour or whatever, but the rumour was that was because it's right near where Jules Holland lives and he couldn't be asked to travel anymore. Do you know what, though? You could get away with that. You would, wouldn't you?

If I thought I could just say, oh, listen, guys, I just think, I know there's no studio space technically in Cunningham Town, but can we just make it work? There's a few in Camden, isn't there? There's a few little studios dotted around. They're all disappearing. The MTV building, the old MTV building. They've barely got a studio in there anymore.

Is it called Viacom now? It's all cupboards. It is. It's Viacom, and it is. It's full of cupboards and quite sad-looking people. Do you know the end of Blade Runner, the new one? Yes. Have you seen Blade Runner, Rick?

Yes, I have, yes. So that final hotel where one of the characters, one of the major characters lives, is the MTV building in Istanbul, I think. Oh, Hungary, Hungary, Hungary. Okay, Budapest. Budapest, yeah. It's the MTV building, Istanbul, I think. Oh, Hungary, Hungary, Hungary. Okay, Budapest. Budapest, yeah. It's the MTV building in Budapest.

Imagine that. That reminds me of... It's not brutalist, isn't it? It's a little bit, yeah. It reminds me of... Be creative. Not as much sand, I imagine, around the halls and dust. When I was a kid, there was a guy who went to my school

who insisted blind that Predator was filmed in the woods near our house. Right, okay. Yeah. Well, hang on. It house. Right, okay. Yeah. Well, hang on. It could have been, surely. And you're from near where I'm from. Yeah, so which woods?

Stanley Park in Gosport, Stokes Bay. No. You would never go around there. No, no, no. But I know Gosport. Yeah. I just don't. I can't see it.

I'm sorry to say. I'm sorry to say. I can't imagine Schwarzenegger and... What's the other fella? Carl... Carl Weathers. Carl Weathers, yeah. Running around. And that tall chap.

Or am I thinking of Alien? Where would they stay? Where would they put them up? Yeah, exactly. What's the best hotel in Gosport? Well, at that point, it would have been the Alphabank Hotel, which is in Stanley Park itself.

So in terms of situation, it would be very close. It would be convenient. I'm coming round to it now. I think it might be film there. It's feasible, isn't it? Maybe a third unit might have been there. I went to Costa Rica on holiday,

similar to Gosport, and the whole time I was absolutely pumped. I was like, yeah, it looks so much like Jurassic Park because it's where they filmed Jurassic Park. And then when I got home, found out they didn't film it there. It was just Valley Park, wasn't it? Absolutely, it was.

Yeah, Gosport. Any wood that you see on film or TV is Gosport. Wasn't it filmed in Hawaii? Was it Hawaii? Part of Hawaii? Yeah, I think it was. Because my mate went to the tree that they hide behind. Velociraptor is one of them.

Oh, the lying down tree. Yeah. Basically, they found that tree. Because this guide went, this is the tree from Jurassic Park. Turns out there'd been three or four different trees. Oh, really? Of course there are. They're just like lopping down trees every year.

That tourism thing is so prevalent because I remember going to Loch Ness and doing a little boat trip on Loch Ness and the guy who was piloting the boat, he's about 70 and he'd been doing it his whole life. And I said to him, do you think there is a Loch Ness monster? And he gave me a look of a guy that said,

this has been my industry for the last 50 years. He went, you never know, son. We do know. Admit it. And he went, admit it. Drain it. Drain it. Drain it. But Rick, just to welcome you in, I think we should probably give you an idea of the stuff we've been talking about recently on this show. Sure. So in the

last episode, Pete and I were talking about a policeman who killed someone in his sleep and gave himself up as the culprit. And then I told a horrifying story about getting in bed with someone I didn't know in my sleep while sleepwalking. Not as serious a crime, but a crime nonetheless. How did the person react?

I'd never met them before, but I pushed them out of bed and they were like, what are you doing? Who are you? And I was like, who are you? And i realized i was in the wrong bedroom yay yeah so maybe you can come in on that in a minute actionable um we've got british awkwardness which i know you'll be uh interested in all over yeah um feral animals when i put it out in a list it's almost like this is alan partridge this is Partridge writ large. And people who are from your hometown that are a little bit of legendarily crazy.

Okay, sure. Local celebrity type business. Yeah. Because you lived in Kentish Town for a long part of your life. Well, this is the thing. I mean, Kentish Town is absolutely riddled with them. I was one of them for a little while. Including yourself?

Yeah. I would put myself in that category because it's the people who are just around during the daytime. And I am one of them for a little while. Including yourself? Yeah. I would put myself in that category because it's the people who are just around during the daytime. And I am one of those people. It's like the pineapple doing karate kicks. There's a lady who wears, you might have seen her actually, I feel like she's an absolute legend in her own right.

And she wears, I think it is, red lipstick all over her face. Right. Wow! Wow, that's a strong look. It's an incredibly strong look. Yeah. See her coming a mile off.

Yeah, somehow. She sits outside Costa quite a lot and she knows my name and is very keen to use it whenever I walk past. Okay. She has a very peculiar, I almost don't want to do the accent because it sounds like I'm being sort of racially insensitive but she honestly

calls me Mida Edward but she is, by the way, she is not a she's not Japanese or Chinese or anything like that. Right, okay, but she affects an accent. She affects an accent approaching Japanese. Yes, it's something something it says Mr. Edward

Mr. Edward Mr. Edward Mr. Edward and always very excited to see me do you speak to her I always I'd say hello

I don't know her name no if she's called Mrs. Brown I'd always say hello Mrs. Brown obviously has she ever embraced you

and got lipstick on you because I mean lipstick on your collar told the tale on you I imagine she would probably dispatch a lot more lipstick if it's all over her face. I think that's the sort of natural progression, isn't it?

One day that will happen. It'll be a glorious day. By the grace of God, go us all. And, you know what, something I want to bring to the table as well, based on last week, is we had an email from a guy who talked about giving directions to someone who wanted to find the London Eye. And then he rapidly realised after he'd given her directions that he was actually going that way as well and so he did a whole manner of different things to try and enable her to not see him so

it wouldn't be awkward and then pete and i were talking about what your policy is when someone asks you for directions when you're in london or whatever um do you because i've seen so i've given someone directions before and I've seen them still lost like five minutes later and it's been incredibly awkward. And Pete says these days he now brings out his phone to enable himself to give directions to people who don't know where they're going. What's your policy?

I'm straight out with the phone these days to avoid. The thing with the guy who's given directions to the London Eye and is then going the same direction, by sort of wandering, like trying to hide himself, it's much creepier. It's worse, yeah. Because if you catch sight of that guy,

you're like, well, hang on, why is he following me? He knows exactly where I'm going. He keeps hiding behind pillars. He could have just said, yeah, I'm going that way, I'll show you. Yeah. Mr Edwards. Yes, exactly.

Come back. Slathered in lipstick. It's a look. It's a look. It's a look. We also spoke about batteries as well. Basically, we've discovered that if you open up any piece of consumer electronics that holds a double A or triple A cell in it, and I will always call them cells, even though they might not be. They've always got like a got a weird third-party brand

that's not Duracell or EverReady. Example being, Luke's got a TV remote for the studio TV remote. It's a box-standard LG TV remote, Rick. Pop it open. Pop the back of her open. Couple of Bexels in there. Naughty stuff, isn't it?

It wasn't expected to be a naughty Bexel. But you'd think that LG would be a big enough company to have their own kind of branded LG kind of batteries, because they're always going to use them, aren't they? Get them branded up, LG. Yeah, I mean, the ones we had... A Bexel absolutely coining it in there. Well, listen... One of the biggest

companies you've never heard of. The brands we've had, in addition to that, New Ultras, Japan Tech, Active Energy, Shen Kang. Shen Kang's very good. brands we've had in addition to that new ultras japan tech active energy shen kang shen kang is very good i it sounds like you'd be pleased to have a shen kang wouldn't you i think mustangs i think a lipstick lady was the spokesperson for all of these brands a couple of mustangs and my personal favorite as i said last week uh a pair of uh in a soundbar a pair of uh super heavy duty highuty high watts.

High watts? Yeah. How long is it? Yeah, that's quite sort of Route 1 naming, isn't it? Yeah. As I said before, they all sound like they've been named by Google Translate. Yeah. How long are AAAs or AAs going to last in a goddamn soundbar?

No, not very long. Not very long. I don't even know what a soundbar is. It's one of those things you put on the top of the telly, those big long ones. Yeah. What? You're telling me, Rick, in your career today... What makes the sound on your telly? The speaker on the telly. I don't have to provide a separate

speaker. I'm buying built-in. Next you're going to tell me you haven't got a VHS player built into your telly, you absolute animals. It's very much part of the deal when you buy something. I expect sound. I'm not turning my telly on going, oh no, forgot to buy the speaker. Are you telling me in your career today

you've never once uttered the words and thank you very much to my friends at Sonos for this soundbar? No, absolutely not. I have nothing made by Sonos

in my house. I don't really know what they do. Bows? Can I have the bows? Yeah, speakers, I've got no bows. I've got no bows.

You're a man out of time. I've got an old Sony Hi-Fi. I'm actually... Come on, lad, aren't I? You've got no bows you're a man out of time I've got I've got an old Sony Hi-Fi I'm actually come on lad aren't I you've got a mini display

horrible way to realise have you got have you got tracking on you no I did did have a mini display so excited

when you got your first mini display because you're like this this is the future look how small

this is honestly look how small it is and within three months defunct I got a mini disc player

for it I ended up going on a round the world trip in 2003 and I knew I was going to be away for about a year and I got a mini disc player as part of it

and I spent a good couple of days putting together two compilation mini discs yeah of course and I was like yeah this would be brilliant looking back on it now the sum total

of songs on those two mini discs was I think 30 songs for a year away. How we've changed more than enough. I'll probably get through about a thousand times each. Does anyone mind, by the way, if I take my sweatshirt off?

It's really hot, isn't it? I must apologise for the smell, Rick, because it does hang a bit. We've done two podcasts in here already today. I don't really have a sense of smell. Is that right? because it does hang a bit. We've done two podcasts in here already today. I don't really have a sense of smell. Oh, yeah, I've heard this about you. Is that right? So, Pete, that's what I'm reminded.

So I heard from, you might have told me this when we were playing football together once, that you once sniffed like some sort of pure chemical. Pure ammonia. And so now you've not got a sense of smell. Yeah. Shush. What, like the bleach kind of burned off your smell cells?

Yeah, the strongest alkali available. Yeah. Pure ammonia. You hoovered it right up your... Yeah, yeah. Did a the strongest alkali available. Yeah. Pyromonium. You hoovered it right up your... Yeah, yeah. Did a couple of lines of it. Let me tell you. Is that pH negative or positive?

It'll be pH 12, isn't it? Yeah, yeah, or higher. Higher. 14. 14. Holy moly. Did you have to go to the doctor? Yeah.

And what did he say? He went, I can't smell anything. What did you expect? You just inhaled pure ammonia? Yeah, he just said, A, you're an idiot. And then he just spent ages trying to sluice it out. What else are you going to do? So it was in Chris Pine.

Was that a car wash? That was a doctor. That was a car wash. Yeah, but I mean, to be fair, what else is he going to do? One thing he could have done, which would have been very lively, is gone, the only way to deal with this is to neutralise it. We're going to pour hydrochloric up there. And I'm glad he didn't do that, to be honest,

because even though it might have worked, horrible. Horrible when it starts dripping. Boil the balsamic. So does that affect your taste as well, then? Well, I don't think so, but then occasionally people will ask me if I can taste something, and I'm like, no. So yes, potentially it does. You're leaving yourself open for a poisoning. i'll tell you what i never know i once uh if i just suddenly i've

thought about this i've never told anyone but it's it's not bad is i once had a sort of it was a cross between like a wart and a skin tag yeah on my on my arm and it was and it was sort of it was getting bigger and i was like i've got to get, this has got to go. And I didn't really know where to go. You just snotted out some ammonia onto it. Yeah, that took care of it. Burned it up, yeah. I thought, well, they're not going to do that on the NHS, to be fair, I understand,

because it's cosmetic, it's not really. And so I had to go to a private skin doctor and I got a recommendation from, weirdly, Lisa Snowden. Oh, really? And she said, oh, I've been to this guy because he was absolutely riddled with warts. How old were you at the time? This would have been, I reckon, eight years ago.

Okay. I was in my late 20s. And I went along to this guy and, you know, you just immediately get the sense that someone might be a quack. Yeah, okay. Just that he didn't, something didn't seem right. And he goes, okay, I think what we'll do is we'll just

we'll just be able to burn this off with some acid and I was like okay and and I go okay

when do I book in to do it he's like no we can just do it now and you know these private doctors are sitting in an office that looks like the office

that a lawyer would work in there's no medical equipment anywhere and so I just put my arm out on his forearm out on the desk uh and he gets some acid and then he literally he just starts pouring a bit of acid onto my arm and i'm thinking is that not just gonna start dripping down the rest of my arm and burn it and lo and behold it started dripping down the rest of my arm and then he was like oh i tried to dab it away with like a handkerchief

and I got a handkerchief I got I got sort of rivulet burn marks down oh my days and the wart

was totally unaffected oh really yeah yeah how much did it cost you it cost me 250 quid to basically get an additional raking of burn

from some acid Snowden swears by it. Yeah, Snowden loves it. They give you a payment plan with like 1,000% APR afterwards. Don't worry, I've got a payout front. It sounds like the guy I bought my dog treatment off. I really want a dog, but I'm terribly allergic. So I got like, I paid a couple of grand to get like a,

not an anti-semin, but like a, what do you call it? An inoculation, if you will. Where every morning I'll spray some dog dander under my tongue. I basically spent a couple of grand on a load of dog juice that I've got to keep in my fridge.

I don't know if I've got a dog yet. I'm still using it now. It's an 18-month course. That sounds... I mean, that's quackery at its extreme, really. Yeah, you've been really mugged off there. I mean, he did give me the caveat, like, just don't get a dog. I went, I don't really want one, though. You can't have a dog with you.

You have an old comp to the street. What sort of dog are you going to get living there? A gay one. Oh, lovely to have a gay... Have you definitely got the gay dog, Dan? Yeah. That would be disappointing to 18 months of the wrong one. He's an alpha, cis, hetero, mad dog.

One of the things I wanted to bring to the table as well is, have you heard of this thing called 23andMe? Oh, the DNA testing thing? I haven't done it. I've done it. I've done a similar one, yeah. Ancestry.co.uk did a spit in the tube. I don't know, but I presumed that would be like

very English. But apparently I'm 60% Irish or something. And I asked my mum, I said, mum, this test said I'm Irish and she said, yeah, both your great granddads are Irish.

I was like, well, I could have said she's good there, couldn't I? Yeah. What percent Polynesian? But the reason I bring it up

is because I think at one point everyone's got, when you go far enough back, you've got like Sub-Saharan Africa and that sort of stuff. But most people I know

who've used it have found results that they had no idea about. Most people I've seen that use it are found results that they had no idea about. Most people I've seen that use it are really disappointed. Because they're like, oh, because I thought it was a bit swarthy, a bit like Italian or Spanish. And they go, no, 100% English, dickhead. And there's another one where you can essentially do a home blood test.

And it tells you what your cholesterol level is, what your diabetes risk is, your vitamin. Where your cholesterol came from. Yeah, but I don't know if I fancy. I don't if I fancy it. I don't know if I want to know. You're an unhealthy man, Luke. I'm not surprised, mate. That's probably why. How much am I paying for that? For the blood test, mate? I think it's about 60 quid. I'm interested in that.

We've heard about what you spend money on. Just to see what's going on. I'm not throwing money at anything, mate. They're not going to detect anything that's going to make you happy. You're superb, turns out. It's throw money at anything, mate. But they're not going to detect anything that's going to make you happy, are they? They're like, oh, you're superb, turns out. It's pure acid, by the way. Oh, that's lovely.

I love a bit of that. I thought you were going to say when you were telling your story about the arm, I thought you were going to take it down the road where you went, do you mind if I try putting some of this up my nose? Yeah. I wish I had. It's everywhere else by the sound of it. Which I'd add to foresight. My dad has absolutely,

actually my mum and dad seem to have no interest in genealogy or family history whatsoever. But my wife is very keen on it and they've all done like their family tree and they've done 23andMe and it turns out they are the first people to leave Africa. Right. So they are the whitest, they're Irish out they are the first people to leave Africa. Right. So they are the whitest,

they're Irish and they are the whitest people alive. Right. Which they're quite pleased about. Did you see the Danny Dyer thing where he was related directly to William the Conqueror?

I mean, that's one of the great bits of television. I mean, most television featuring Danny Dyer is one of the greatest bits of television but that in particular

is spectacular. So my wife's uncle is a really keen historian. He's American. He's never heard of Danny D's uncle is a really keen historian. He's American. He's never heard of Danny Dyer. But I found the YouTube link of that TV show. I said, you've got to watch this because he's really interested in old family history

because obviously in America, their family trees don't go back that far. And the problem was the backfiring part of me sharing it with him was I had to spend about, I mean, if the show was 45 minutes long, I had to spend longer than that trying to explain who Danny Dyer actually was and why this was interesting.

How do you explain Danny Dyer to a man who's never really understood the concept of him in the past? Have you had any dealings with him? Yeah, I have. I was on Sunday brunch with him once and it was pure bliss. Just Danny Dyer

in the kitchen, just talking about whether he's getting mugged off by some flour yeah it's just it's golden and i've understood uh i've understood a tv show where he was co-hosting and it was just like banging out it wasn't live just banging out links um off autocue he wasn't very good off autocue, but also he refused to do more than one take. Right. No, I've done that, mate. I've done that. No, no, we got that. And the producer was like, oh.

I just, yeah, I just, hmm. Okay. And we rattled through. It was the quickest day of these shows we'd ever done. We were finished by lunchtime. Were you doing the heavy lifting? Because you were just like, I've got to do a little bit. I was doing quite a lot of it, yeah.

Was any of it broadcastable? Well, no, but on the flip side, it all got broadcast. The radio station that I used to

work for, that you worked for as well, Rick, he came on the Breakfast Show and before we went live, the producer went,

so Danny, we are live on the radio, if you could not swear, that would be fantastic. And he turned to producer Paul and went, on media went, so Danny, we are live on the radio. If you could not swear, that'd be fantastic. And he turned to producer Paul and went, I'm media trained,

you cunt. Wonderful. I'm media trained, you see. That's what you get from him. That's what you get. Shall we go to the break and then come back

and talk about Rick's book, Science-ish? All right then. We'll both look after Luke. We'll both look after Luke. If he feels sad about Mum and Dad, we'll both look after Luke. We'll both look after Luke. If he feels sad about Mum and Dad, we'll both look after Luke.

Science-ish. It's a book you can buy in the shops now, Rick. Is that fair? Yeah, yeah. So, Rick, you've written a book. I'm hoping that's it. Job done. And it's out. Buy it.

And you've co-written this book. Yes, I have. And is it fair to say the other chap is the brains of the outfit? Well, I mean, if someone's bringing the science and someone else is bringing the ish. Okay, right. Because it's co-written with Dr. Michael Brooks, who wrote 13 Things That Don't Make Sense,

which is one of my favourite popular science books ever. It is actually my favourite popular science book. It's an amazing book. Yeah. And I was genuinely thrilled when I realised that the person that... So we do a podcast, also called Science-ish. We've been doing that for a couple of years. But we were put together by our friend.

And I was like, hang on. Yeah, you that guy. The Dr. Michael Brooks. Yeah. And he was like, yeah. And then I just was sort of fanboying for ages. And I sort of still am, actually. Tell us a bit about what the book's about.

So we basically, in each chapter, we take a film and then explore the sort of scientific questions that arise from the film. And what we don't really do is much of that kind of myth-busting stuff. So we're not saying... This can't happen. Yeah, like, oh, Sandra Bullock's hair wouldn't be moving like that in zero gravity, that kind of stuff.

I mean, it's fine, but there's loads of that online, and I find it slightly dull. Robert Webb does a TV series about movie mistakes, and I think it's the biggest destroyer of any magic in movies. You can't watch a movie again after you've seen it. No. I can't believe they missed this one. Yeah, I don't like that.

It's not really for me, that. So we more kind of look at the science that is happening out there right now yeah um in relation to films because films are to be honest they're just a great way of having conversations about science without people feel like they're having it sort of forced down their throat like the stuff so for example how many people are sitting down and watching a documentary about black holes? It's probably quite niche. I mean, you aren't, are you?

Yeah, I am, big time, yeah. Obviously. Pete, are you watching a documentary about black holes? No, I don't have a television. The man came and took it away. Yeah. I'll be soundbar. Just a soundbar.

Whereas you probably would watch Interstellar. Yeah, yeah. And that's the point. People, it's a way of opening up the conversation, I think. And certainly those kind of directors as well they really think about it they they're

Nolan does doesn't he he's an absolute fiend for it Nolan absolutely loves it yeah he does they had a science paper published in a in a proper physics journal off the back of Interstellar

right I think it's the only time it's ever happened what is the least scientifically accurate part of Interstellar though Matthew McConaughey's accent? Well, I mean, that's not great. I mean, the stuff with the bookcase, love

being the thing that transcends all... I mean, I couldn't disprove it, but I suspect... I mean, aliens living in the fifth dimension? Yeah. Hard to prove. Very, very hard to prove, but then, as you will know, Luke, the only... the sort of best way that we

have at the moment of uh unifying our two best theories of how everything works so quantum theory and general relativity um so we know how stuff works on a very very small scale with quantum now our stuff works on a big scale with relativity can't make the two sort of jam together super symmetry type stuff well it's string theory yeah so. So, and string theory is, I mean, it's just a sort of abstract concept really, but it only works if there are 11 dimensions. That's right, yeah. So therefore, it is possible,

if string theory is right, that there are creatures that exist in other dimensions. So we're just trapped in our four dimensions, like losers. Yeah. And then the others are just like there's free flow

in between all 11 looking at me what I'm up to yeah I bet they've got soundbars oh yeah yeah and they're using what is it

Bexel Bexel powered exclusively by Bexel I like to think that Bexel came from another dimension to power our devices

on a similar one explanation on a similar vibe though with this because one of the other films you talk about in the book and I have read the book is The Matrix

alright mate I've read it I wouldn't mind if you haven't Rick's read our book I've not even read it have you just read your bits I've just read my bits

that's funny I just did my chapters he means proofread it's not the same thing but anyone who says I haven't read that book is a fucking liar, all right? Knock him out. Which one? Your one.

No, this one. Oh, okay, fine. And if I haven't, how come I have? Anyway. Yeah, that's a good point. Yeah, Matrix is in there as well, and I'm particularly fascinated by this because there's talk in the book about the idea that we could all be living in a giant computer simulation.

Yes. And the reason this is interesting to me is because the more you think about how quickly computer processing power is advancing and how accurate and better virtual reality is getting, it's surely eminently possible. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's scarily possible. It is scarily possible.

And the more you think about it, the more slightly depressed you get. You're right. You're right. But the idea is that if any intelligent race gets to a point where they can run sophisticated ancestors simulations so simulations of like so which is something we would be interested in doing if we were like okay can we create a simulation where we watch how the universe formed and how life evolved and all that kind of stuff,

we'd definitely do it. It's just we don't know how to at the moment. But if we had the computing power, I think that we would do it. And also we'll be able to program in conscious entities. That's the kind of big sticking point for me is whether we would be able to create a consciousness within a computer program.

I don't really know about that. And there's not really any agreement among scientists whether you'll be able to do it what did you michael think dr michael thinks yes he thinks that if so for example at ibm at the moment are trying to make this this huge uh sort of cipher of a human brain using neuromorphic chips so chips that work like neurons right and the the big challenge of that is that we've got 86 billion neurons and they're all connected to 10 000 neurons each so it's an incredibly big system and they are they're sort of trying to piecemeal build that up

adding in more and more neuromorphic chips dr michael thinks that ultimately there's no reason to expect that if you can replicate a human brain that consciousness wouldn't emerge from that silicon entity you set up the building blocks and it happens because you've got yeah yeah and we don't have a better explanation of of why something is conscious I mean in fairness we don't even have any idea what consciousness is you don't know that anyone else is you know that you are conscious because you're experiencing it yeah you don't know that i don't know that you're conscious you could be a zombie you could be a zombie you talk about socialism basically yes exactly um but if if and it's a big if you can make consciousness in a computer and you can then populate a simulation with these

consciousnesses and you're running them those consciousnesses would have no idea that they were simulations right because there's no reason that they would no right um and then they themselves might start being interested in running simulations and then you get this idea of nested simulations so you could be in a simulation that is that is part of a simulation that is part of a simulation that is part of a simulation, that is part of a simulation, that is part of a simulation. It's a recursive AI nightmare. It basically is, yeah. And then it's just a numbers game that you think, okay, so the number of simulated consciousnesses

will be greater, far greater than the number of base level reality consciousnesses. Therefore, it's more likely that we are simulated. That's how the argument goes. So why in the matrix itself do they wear such bad clothes? Yeah, that is something that they're so interested in the science, they never really get to the leather overcoats, do they? No.

To be fair, the agents are reasonably turned out. The agents all look like they're in the hives. Yeah, they do. Because you know we talked about a few weeks ago, Rick, Pete and I talked about a Tumblr blog, which I now can't find annoyingly, and it was dedicated to men who have gone to fancy dress parties dressed as Ryan Gosling's character in Drive.

Oh, that's lovely. Right, okay, so it's just loads of unhealthy-looking men who think they look a lot like him. In souvenir jackets. They just look terrible. Yeah, of course. And is it fair to say there is a fairly rich seam to mine here with men who maybe do that with Neo's character from The Matrix?

Yeah, because it's surprising how often you see men in leather overcoats. Oh, any parochial goth. Very much that. Possibly matching it with a fedora, m'lady, or any of that kind of business. It's beautiful. Yeah. But, I mean, who's beautiful. But I mean,

who's to say? I mean, AI's so young. We could be creating badly dressed men and women in the next 20 years. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

It's not been running for long. That's certainly the ambition of it, I think. Full point. That's what they're sitting there thinking about at Google DeepMind. On what club are we going to put them in? That's why the Sims video game

is so popular. Yeah. What house are we going to, what staircase are we gonna watch staircase are we gonna play you're right and we would do it if we could because we do people love things like the sims don't they all that sort of thing yeah so it makes sense and i was watching um a video game designer talking the other day and he was saying he thinks that within the next five years in virtual reality you'll be able to interact with characters who will be indistinguishable

from their real-world counterparts. So Turing test stuff, basically? Yeah, but within a virtual reality, so within a simulated world that you are physically. So the physicality will be very similar to that. There's none of that uncanny valley kind of... There will be... There will bridge that gap and have people

who you actually believe are real or could believe that you're... I mean, the Turing test stuff is really expanded upon brilliantly in Ex Machina. I've seen it, yeah, brilliant movie. One of the best movies I've seen in the last five years. Amazing, an amazing film. And he has definitely watched it. He has definitely watched it. I watched it on a plane, actually.

Perfect place to watch it, actually. Smaller the screen, the better. Just bring your own soundbar. I actually watched Interstellar on a plane as well, which might be why I didn't enjoy it as much. But on... I bet this would look incredible

if I could see it. Yeah. You've got like one centimetre viewing angle. If you look, it's like, oh, God. Yeah, it moves.

It's completely blank. But in Ex Machina, he takes it beyond the Turing test and sort of says, oh, the Turing test is a pretty old hat really anyway. It doesn't really matter. It's not about that because I could do that now easily.

Anyone could. And it's more about the step beyond that really. Which weirdly is sort of, yeah, it's half true. I don't think there are computers that can have a pretty good stab at the Turing test now. But yeah, what is being discussed in Ex Machina is a step forward where you're like, I'm telling you that this is a robot. You know it's a robot,

but do you think it's conscious? And that's what everyone comes out of that film asking. You're like, what do you think? And no one really agrees. The director is quite vague about it, which I think is the right thing to do. Smart guy.

Wouldn't do a quote for the book. Really? You've got to ask. Let's expand on that. What was your feeling on that when that happened? When he rejected that? Well, he didn't... I mean, it was more silence than an explicit rejection.

He might not have even seen it. Unless you knew... Did you have his mobile phone number? Did you text him? Did you call him? No, but my wife's sister used to work for him. So it was a fairly direct route. Yeah.

I think it will have got to him and he will have been like, no. So, you know, but then amazingly, this sort of genuinely makes me feel sick when I think about it. There's a chapter about Interstellar and we are slightly critical of the film and some of the, like, McConaughey's acting and so on. I think it is fair. And then someone said, oh, I know

Christopher Nolan and Christopher Nolan's family, and get a copy of the book to him. And I was like, wicked! And then I sent the book over, and only after I'd sent it did I think, oh, hang on. I've absolutely slated it. What chapter are you going to read first?

I know. Yeah, it'll flip straight to that. Yeah, I've absolutely slated it. This is like, it's going to feel so arched for me as well. Like, yeah, read this, Christopher. This is practically a hit crime, Rick. Did he get back to you? No.

No. I suspect he might not do. There was a football club failure recently who fired their manager shortly after they'd already released their advent calendar. So what they then did is when people bought the advent calendar, they got a sticker

with the new manager, which they could stick over the picture of the old manager. What you could do with Alex Gardner or Christopher Nolan, if they do get back to you, go to all the bookshops with stickers, mate. Yeah, that's true. Stick them on. Stick them on.

Don't know why I've been mugged off in this book. Christopher Nolan. Please stop texting. Have these guys won any Oscars? Christopher Nolan. I didn't like it. Christopher Nolan. The darkness moulded me.

Pete, what did you think of the book? I thought it was excellent. To be honest, I mashed through about half of it because I just cherry-picked the chapters that I know the films do. I'm not a massive consumer of films and I think that's the problem. We've discussed, do you think there's too many films?

Because I've often thought that. I definitely think it about books. Which sort of begs the question, why have I written one? I mean, I did a book clear out. This is how I remembered that I'd read your book, actually. Oh, right. You cleared it out. No, it's up there on the shelf.

In my football section. Very nice. But you kind of go, well, I'm never going to be able to read these. It's insane. Yeah, definitely too many books. Yeah, probably too many films as well. But what can you do about it? Well, I'll say to Pete, if you could just maybe limit it to two films a month,

I'd happily be... You'd bring in a kind of maximum quota to Hollywood. Yeah. That'd be really good, though. They don't get made. Yeah. And some would say that already exists, but I've seen some bad ones. Oh, yeah.

Well, I mean like you would have done junk at some point in your career like sitting in those kind of airless Soho hotel rooms like this in many ways

chatting to people who don't want to be there about their film. Exactly like this. But you have to watch the film beforehand. It's a contractual

requirement if you go and chat to stars you've got to watch the film. Did you resent I've done a few quite recently that I've went, you've wasted two hours of my life that I could have been reading or doing anything, anything.

100%. I've seen some absolute gash. Stinkers. And it really, what's the worst? I think the worst one I ever saw was a Zack Snyder film called, it was one with all the, what was it called? Have you got a facility to Google this? Zack Snyder film called... It was one with all the... What was it called? Have you got a facility to Google this? Zack Snyder? Zack Snyder.

Post him doing 300. Right. And he did it with... There was lots of girls and thingy... Is this helping? Lots of girls and thingy in it? I'm trying to find... Give me a second. Zack Snyder movie, post 300. Yeah. Okay. He directed it. Yeah, trying to find, give me a second. Zack Snyder movie, post 300. Yeah. Okay.

He directed it. Yeah, it cost like 200 million dollars. Watchmen? No. That was good. That was alright. I haven't seen it.

I like the book though. Well here you go, here's his list there. Legend of the Guardians? No. Sucker Punch? Sucker Punch! There you go.

Sucker Punch. Let's see the cover of that one. Sucker Punch. Oh yes, I know that one. Was that an adapted anime or something like that? No, it wasn't an adaptation. I think previously he'd had success by doing adaptations

of good source material. This had come from his own fertile mind. And, I mean, absolute. It just felt like three hours of pure dog shit. And you had to speak to him about it. It was sort of misogynist as well. Just awful. Like, just... Like, felt like three hours of pure dog shit. And you had to speak to him about it. Sort of misogynist as well. Like, just awful. Like, a horrible film.

And you had to speak to him about it. Yeah, and then subsequently you have to go in and be like, yeah. Yeah. You know what Pete said he does? Pete says he goes, I really like the lighting in that movie. Like, find something specific.

I don't even do that, though. I just lie. Love the film. What am I going to gain by saying it sucks? I've got no self-respect. That's why I'm an alright radio presenter. There's no place for self-respect

in this industry. Absolutely not. Yeah, you're right. You're going to gain absolutely nothing from telling someone. Also, they will probably know. They can read reviews. Yeah. But the annoying thing is, lately,

I've been hating on films when I've come out of it, and they've got amazing reviews from people. The new Vince Vaughn, that Grindhouse kind of film, Brawl on Cell Block 99, I thought was badly written, scripted terribly. It wasn't a particularly convincing performance from Vaughn. I've come out and everyone's like, oh my God, it's a new goddamn...

It's a new Tarantino. It's amazing. And I'm like, oh, you can do better. Everyone can do better. Too many films. Vince Vaughn's done his thing where he's tried to reinvent himself, hasn't he? Because didn't he appear in the second season

of True Detective? And everyone was like, that's a bit of a left field casting. And everyone thought it might be a bit of a reinvention of his career but in the end no one really watched it did they?

No I think everyone hated it didn't they? The first season's brilliant The first season is brilliant and I didn't even watch the second season because everyone universally said it was awful

Did it also have Colin Farrell in it? It wasn't as bad as everyone said it was I thought Vaughn was alright in that kind of Machiavellian kind of evil or charismatic character

The sort of one he played in Starsky and Hutch, that kind of like, I don't know what you're talking about, I'm going to get out of this just fine. But yeah, I thought that's a strong point. He came on T4 once and he arrived early. Weirdly, and make of this what you will, for the first, we were setting up for a while

and for 10 minutes I had to talk to him and I was thinking, i don't really want to do 10 minutes of small talk with vince vaughn but he was just talking 10 to a dozen very entertaining very charismatic we started doing the interview he was great and then oddly um about sort of 15 minutes in he just really slumped no energy right it's, isn't it? How that can happen to people sometimes. And we were all like, how strange. He was so,

he was giving so much. Yeah. And now he's just run out. Maybe. It's like he's run out of something. Ammonia. Yeah. Run out of ammonia.

Run out of ammonia. So yes. Terrible situation to be in. Before we go, because we are just about running out of time, I want to turn this... Is that it? Yeah, it's quick.

Don't muck around. It's gone quickly, isn't it? Don't muck around. Because we're just enjoyable chaps to hang out with. We should do this every week. No, you are. And also because it's very hot, time does speed up. You know that, do the science.

Yeah, yeah. I want to talk... I think that's Boyle's law. Yeah, it is, yeah. I want to talk a bit about CDT teachers with you, Rick. Oh, yes, lovely. Okay, because Pete, famously, to listeners of this show, almost lost his entire finger in a CDT class at school.

And your teacher reacted in what way again? He shouted, get your hand out of that sander! Fair enough, isn't it? Yeah, that's exactly what I want him to be saying. Stick it further in the sand! No, no, no. You're not going to make a bagatelle game like this. Rick, I am delighted to say at that point his training kicked

in and he was able to ensure the safety of Pete's finger. We mind the same here again to use that phrase that CDT teachers are quite eccentric, quite interesting, quite fun. Can you remember your CDT teacher? I can picture the guy i can't now i can also picture a lot of the stuff that i churned out in cdt go on i did uh so an acritic

clock which is just like it's an oblong of a critic and then you bend it once up yeah and then uh sort of too far and then up again yeah so you've kind of got a uh two joint far, and then up again. Yeah. So you've kind of got a two jointed, and then you bolt the clock on the back. And my dad, weirdly, I think still has that clock. Oh, fantastic. Yeah, yeah. It was like a pre-made part of a clock. Oh, yeah.

I didn't make any of the clock mechanism. No, no. You never do the hard bits, do you? With the acrylic, did you have to polish the sides of it once you cut it? Yeah, oh, yeah. Oh, that took ages. But quite satisfying, though.

It's actually a very good finish on that clock, even though I do say so myself. Christopher Nolan would be, you've literally warped time there. Christopher Nolan would be very happy with that, wouldn't he? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. In many ways, it was a portent of what was to come in your career, right? Exactly right. Many times I've looked at that clock and thought, you knew.

What else did you make? And I made, you know when you make sort of, I guess it was a bridge with the thin bits of wood and then joints that were just like triangular bits of cardboard. So every corner you just had a triangular

bit of cardboard and I'm not quite sure what that was doing. And then you gradually build up to a sort of, yeah, a bridge but not across anything. It would just sit flat on the table. And I never knew what it was for. Oh, it was just kind of like giving you an example of engineering. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Completely useless.

If you did in later life want to make a bridge, obviously don't make it like this. Soggy cardboard. A tiny bridge out of cardboard. Three people died. Very, very rare that you look at a bridge these days and say, oh, they've used the old triangles of carport to run. I hope it doesn't rain.

The old Middlesbrough Transporter Bridge, classic. Pete, didn't you say that the finger incident meant you weren't able to study it at GCSE? He said he'd be up for me studying, but I was very much better at the thinking parts rather than the actual not getting your hand in the sander. He's let you down gently there, hasn't he? Well, it was a circular sander. I don't know whether it would have made any difference if it hand in the sander. He's let you down gently there, hasn't he? Well, it was a circular sander.

I don't know whether it would have made any difference if it was a belt sander, which would have been a little bit easier to extract my finger from it, but it's still misshapen. Are you talking about GCSE level here? Or are you talking about you didn't do it? No, I didn't do it.

I don't think I did it at GCSE, actually. I can't really remember. Rick went to Cambridge. People who went to Cambridge don't do CDT. Well, you've got to really specialise. That's not a saying, is it? No, that's... Well, it is now, but it shouldn't be.

People who went to Cambridge... You went to a good university. People who went to Cambridge don't do CDT is not a saying. It's not part of the concept. If I said I did CDT at GCSE, you wouldn't be surprised. I went to Montfort University in Leicester, for crying out loud. Do you know what? I think I might have done CDT at GCSE.

That's fine, isn't it? Oh, he's only doing it to prove a point now. Old clockbender Edwards over there. He's going to go study in a minute. The last clockbender. Well, that'll be one of the two films. I'm having a hard time watching that. Well, go and pick up

the damn book. The name of the book is Science-ish. Pick it up for Christmas for your loved ones as well. That's a really good example of sneaking in a bit of science, sneaking in a bit of knowledge, sneaking in a bit of physics science-ish. Pick it up for Christmas for your loved ones as well. That's a really good example of kind of you sneaking in a bit of science, sneaking in a bit of knowledge, sneaking in a bit of physics under the guise of something quite interesting.

It's a great panic buy. If you don't want to get someone, just get that and just be like, it's fine isn't it? I'm going to get the one you gave me and give that to someone for Christmas I think. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is there going to be a follow-up to the 30 things that don't make sense? Can you ask Dr Michael? Well he did do a book called At the edge of uncertainty which i think you'd also like okay that came after it on mine it's a similar kind of territory it's really good i'll give it

a go thanks he's also got another i mean i shouldn't really be plugging his other book out he's got another book out at the moment called the quantum astrologer okay um or it might be called the quantum astrologer's handbook have you read it no but i've only just got it and it came out last week. I might not understand that. That's the only thing. No, no, I think you will. So it's sort of a history book.

It's about an Italian guy called Jerome Cardano, who's sort of not, he's just not a popular figure, but he somehow came up with a lot of the basis for quantum theory in the 16th century. Amazing. That does sound good. Which is sick. Yeah, amazing.

He shouldn't be doing that. It's a bit Da Vinci. You know how Da Vinci would just come out with helicopters and stuff? This guy, similar vibe. If you play the video in Civilization, the next town over, the next power over has got nuclear fission and you've got a horse and cart.

How's that? We're living at the same time. What's going on? That's what he was like. Cardano's living there. Worth checking out, I reckon. Alright, Pete, that's it, isn't it? We're out of time. Go and pick it up. Yeah, you can't actually give away your copy of the book, because I've scribbled notes in that copy. Have you? Yeah, like, questions like, what is a matrix?

Thanks for the word, the matrix. That doesn't mean I can't give it to one of my family. Ask Rick what the matrix is. But also, that might make it more valuable, as annotated by Pete Donaldson. Give us your copy of the Football Rumble, I'll annotate that if you've got it, Rick. No, I've annotated it myself. Dogshit.

What is this football? Sounds good, I like it. Rick, thank you for joining us. You can be followed on Twitter on that. Is that you on the Twitter? Yeah, sure. At Rick Edwards 1. You've no idea who's got at Rick Edwards.

Makes me angry every time I say it. I'm going to check now. I used to be MySpace.com forward slash Pete, Pete, Pete, Pete, Pete, Pete. Five Petes before me.

Very upsetting. But hang on. So the previous Petes. So there's MySpace.com forward slash Pete, Pete, Pete, Pete. Five times.

So hang on. There was a Pete. There was a Pete, Pete. There was a Pete, Pete, Pete. Pete, Pete, Pete, Pete. That is. Hang on. There was a Pete, Pete. There was a Pete, Pete, Pete. I had to go six times. That is insane. But I really like it. The original Rick Edwards on Twitter.

Rick has... Go on. He lives in Portland, Maine. He has a dog and he enjoys... Piece of shit. I know. He enjoys making homemade sweet and sour pork. He sounds like twice the man you are.

I hate the guy. I'm so jealous of him. He's three times the man I am because he's got a dog. Yeah, only because he's got a dog. Yeah, only because he's sprayed his throat for 18 months with dandy. Is it dandy?

Dandy. Danda. I don't even know what danda is. I just went with it totally. I think it's just skin cells. It's a made up word. Danda.

Before we go, we should go. I want to tell Rick that Pete once lasered off his armpit sweat glands. Yeah. How do you feel about that?

What do you mean? I feel really good about that. Yeah, I don't sweat from my armpit anymore. And has it worked? Yeah, yeah. I mean, it is night and day. It is the greatest thing I've ever done with my money. Yeah.

And I've spent money stupidly before. It's not a packed playing field, that particular area. Yeah, incredible. I mean, you look absolutely disgusted, Luke. Well, it's one of those things where it's hard. No, it's horrible, though. I mean, you look absolutely disgusted, Luke. Well, it's one of those things where it's hard. No, it's horrible, though. I mean, look at this now. Yeah.

But it's not. Look at this absolute beauty. But I would be like... He's got stains all over there. Yeah, but I'd be like that now. I'd be absolutely covered. It was disgusting. It was just quite...

Hydrosis or something you'd call it. And they inject you 30 times under each armpit, which sounds terrible with lidocaine with acid with acid pneumonia and then they zap you and it's night and day I should have gone back

for another portion another serving if you want I'd do it I'd do it yeah but I think with your track record of going to doctors

I don't know if you should do it you've got to get back on the horse the Vince Vaughn of doctors. Well, Rick, thank you for joining us, man. It's good to see you. I've not seen you for ages. And grab the book.

Science-ish. From all good bookstores. Published by Atlantic Books. How about that? We'll see you next time. Outro Music