The Luke and Pete Show - Episode 34: The Body Show

Episode Date: January 22, 2018

It's The Body Show! Luke and Pete received an inordinate amount of emails about the human body this week and so decided to group them together into one handy to listen to episode. But before they get into the nuts and bolts of that, there's the small matter of Japanese films Pete's been watching and Luke's new kitchen.More oddly-shaped chests are explored as well as the acupuncturing of a dog, but, and here's a warning, this episode also contains a pretty horrific email about the compromising of a man's scrotum. A scrotal episode if you will.Further reading:Pectus Excavatum: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pectus_excavatumKing of Prussia, Pennsylvania: https://www.tripadvisor.co.uk/Attractions-g52930-Activities-King_of_Prussia_Pennsylvania.htmlDomesday Reloaded: http://www.bbc.co.uk/history/domesday/story Leave us a review, and a rating on iTunes and don't forget to subscribe!Socials: @lukeandpeteshowEmail: [e-mail] Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

episode 34 of the luke and pete show hello everybody uh my name is luke moore and joining me as ever is my slightly diminutive colleague and good pal mr pete donaldson i'm normal sized i'm diminutive in relation to you. Fair dues. I'll take that on the nose. And what an apt subject, because this week is episode 34. The Body Show. The Body Shop. The Body Issue.

The Body Show. Not to be confused with ESPN's Body Issue. What is that? It's like a magazine they put out every year. I like it when they put baseball stars on the cover, because they've always got pretty good guns, but they frequently have big old guts which I quite like.

Just like me but without the guns. Yeah, we decided this week we are going to make it a body themed show purely because we love to group emails around certain subjects, don't we? Yeah, makes it easier for us. We've got a lot about the human body this week. Human bodies, animal bodies, celestial bodies.

Later on, Pete and I will share some secrets about our bodies. Yeah, women in love, two men oiled up in front of a big fire. Nice. Have we got the fire yet? No, we haven't. In the new office, has it been installed? We're not allowed, we didn't get a gas. Have you been up the chimney?

See, being diminutive, I could fit up a chimney, couldn't I? So there we go. And that's a positive. It really is. I've long wanted to emulate of emulate a Victorian child. What have you been doing this week? It's been straight in, bang. No mucking about.

No mucking about. Not even bothering with the button anymore. No. Just doing it yourself. Yeah. I, yeah, I've written on my notes here, before we get stuck into the body show, Pete, should we do a bit of housekeeping?

What have you been up to this week? I'm getting a new kitchen. Is that boring? I was hoping that that was going to be a lot more interesting. It is really boring. I like picking out the stuff. Basically, it goes like this,

and I won't spend too long on this, listeners, don't worry. You pick out the stuff that looks really good, visualise it, then are quickly told you can't afford that, and then you sit on something that's not quite as good. That's it.

Yeah. I mean, what I would say is that and I do say what I would say is a kind of me having a go at someone. Do you know who always

says that as well? What? You know, if you've noticed this, Mr. Gary Neville always says that. Well, I would say.

We're quite physically similar, I think. I agree, yeah. Again, apart from the Premier League winners. You're both little rats. Little rat boys. Yeah.

Kind of people have moved. I've noticed that a lot of my friendship groups they've bought their house they're moving on to kitchens now yeah I'm still renting yeah but I've noticed

Pete I've noticed and this is perhaps a little peek behind the curtain to our lovely listeners a little peek behind the curtain a little peek behind

the curtain and I can fit behind the curtain because I am diminutive any size of curtain yeah you can fit behind a hanky a curtain inside a Wendy because I am diminutive. Any size of curtain. Yeah. You can fit behind a hanky.

A curtain inside a Wendy house. I've detected, because we're pals, and I notice things. I am actually quite a good pal, aren't I? You are a good pal, yes. And I've noticed... You're a terrible colleague. Yeah, that's true. An unspeakably bad, poor colleague.

We're both largely impossible to work with, so I think that's fair. But I'm a good pal, and I think I've noticed, and I don't think I'm wrong here, and I'll be surprised if you correct me here. You've detected recently that you'd quite like to buy a house. Because you've started doing loads more work. That's rude. That's actually rude. I'm always a hard worker, but I'm working for Team Luke

more than Team Pete now, and that's why you've noticed, you see. Yeah, true. Now, you are a hard worker. And also, why you've noticed, you see. Yeah, true. Now, you are a hard worker. And also the voiceover market really has fallen through its own arse. As the bottom drops out of it. In the Donaldson voiceover market. So, yeah. But are you interested in buying a house?

I need to, don't I? I mean, it seems foolish not to. But, I mean, I'm in no way close to being able to afford a deposit. Yeah, you're about five or six years too old. I'm big into Bitcoin. Oh, no, that's fucked as well. Never mind. I bought some Ethereum, did I tell you?

Ethereum? It's a new cryptocurrency. Stop this, Luke. I don't understand it. Luke, how much did you put on? How much did you spaff on that? I don't want to say. How much?

No, I think it was like £150. Right. I mean, I'm almost guaranteed the state of Bitcoin, the state of Bitcoin, the state of cryptocurrencies, and the state of the people that manage the cryptocurrencies, if indeed anyone does, you've already lost your money. Well, you say that.

I've got it in front of me here. I'll show you. Ethereum, I bought four. I bought... Four? What does that mean? No, listen. Ethereum. I mean, isn't that based on the Latin kind of ethereal,

kind of like you can't touch it. You can't touch it. You can't own it. It might disappear at any moment. I've just Googled it. It doesn't exist. No, I bought it for $133, and it's now worth $292. Wow.

You see that in front of you? I would imagine you'd need a cash out. I like that you had a WhatsApp update on the top of your screen. It was Marcus. I wasn't. It was a football ramble saying, Ramble! He's such a stereotype. No, he's just saying, sell it. Sell it, Marcus.

As your financial... Are you using Marcus Speller as your financial advisor? You really shouldn't. That's dreadful news. But congratulations on your Ethereum. Thanks. I'll keep you all posted. I might sell it before my wife finds out. Shall we get into the body show? Well, I was going to just recommend a film

very, very quickly. Oh, good. Please do. A guy from Third Window Films sent me a few DVDs through my work on the Football Ramble and also the Luke and Pete show. That's a scandal by the way. I'm not supposed to see a single DVD. Yeah, but it's... Do you really want DVDs? Is that your...

I haven't got a player well I actually bought an HD DVD player or rather Blu-ray player just for the new Blade Runner film because I've watched it

two times you never stop talking about that I love it so much carry on what film is it well basically he sent me a couple of DVDs of like

well just decent Japanese films because you know like Japanese films because I bum Japan, but I don't really like the video games, I don't really like anime or manga or the films, because I don't like ninjas.

I'm not really that arsed about ninjas and spooky little girls in horror films. But he basically sent me these really bloody good films, one of which, I think my favourite one was Fukuchan of Fukufuku Flats, which was a, basically, I'm showing you the cover there. It's kind of like, who did Grand Budapest Hotel? Wes Thingy, Wes Anderson. Wes Anderson. So it's like a Wes Anderson film, but it's like, you know, filmed on a bit of a budget, but it's filmed in Tokyo.

And it's the main cast member is, she's a woman, but she's a really famous female comedian in Japan. But she's playing like a fat bloke, basically. Oh, right. A fat builder. She looks like an Eddie Murphy type vibe. A little bit. But she looks great. And she's so good.

And it's a lovely little tale. And I know we got sent it for free and stuff. And I'll happily pass it on. But it's just bloody good. And I didn't think. I just didn pass it on. But it's just bloody good, and I didn't think, I just didn't think that, because I think I kind of had a stereotypical kind of idea of what Japanese humour was.

Right. Very bums and poo and wee and boobies and stuff like that. And those game shows and stuff. Yeah, and those game shows, very slapstick and stuff like that. And this, just nicely done. So I recommend that,

and I recommend, just check out Third Window Films on Twitter. They've got loads of titles, and I done. So I recommend that and I recommend, just check out Third Window Films on Twitter. They've got loads of titles and I've just been piling through them all week and I'm just,

I really have been very surprised. The Japanese movies I've seen, which I've enjoyed off the top of my head, Battle Royale, obviously a classic.

Seven Samurai, obviously classic. And Ringu as well. Ringu. Which is the ring, right? Oh, right, okay. It's called Ringu. And there's other ones like is the ring, right? Oh, right, okay. It's called Ringu. And there's other ones like The Audition,

that came out not too long ago, which is pretty good, and also Itchy the Killer. Right, okay. Other than that, I'm out. I'm out. I've never heard of that one. It just always seemed to be about violence and horror.

Yeah. I'd never sort of seen a comedy before, so. There we go. Well done, me. I had what I thought challenged. Did it appeal to your sense of humour more broadly or was it something you wouldn't normally laugh at? No, it was good.

It was just nicely written. The dialogue was excellent. And yeah, there's just some great characters in there as well. And there's a lot of variation. Like sometimes I think with comedies, they don't pack too much in. They kind of let it settle. But I think with Fuka-chan, very good.

Just bam, bam, bam. Five out of five. Laugh, laugh, laugh. A Donnie review. You can't give it out of five. Laugh, laugh, laugh. A Donny review. You can't give it out of five. It's too, I don't like that scale. There's not enough room

for a manoeuvre. You shouldn't, I don't think you should put any stars on anything. It's ridiculous. Yeah. It's a ridiculous way of doing it. Well, it's easier, isn't it?

But I mean, if you are reviewing us on iTunes, do you give us five out of five? Yeah. I also saw three billboards outside, is it Ebbing, Missouri? Yes, it is.

Yeah. That was very good as well. Yeah, Frances McDormand. Yeah, that's an Oscar botherer. She's brilliant. Yeah. She's really good. Have I seen her in something else? What have I seen her in before?

She's in Fargo. Oh, of course she's in Fargo. Yeah. Of course she bloody is. From the excellent Coen Brothers. From the excellent, well, it's another example. There's another parallel in those films as well.

So, yeah, Third Window. Do you want to name the film again? You can't remember it, can you? Fukujana Fukufuku Flats, I think. Yeah, Fukufuku Flats. A lot of Fs in there and Ks. But the guy who does it listens to the Luke and Pete show, the guy who produced that film,

and produced a couple of others as well. He listens to the Luke and Pete show. And you want, well, it's a bit embarrassing. What, he wants to make a film about me, does he? All right, all right. He's got great sideburns. Okay. to the Luke Peake show. And you went, well, it's a bit embarrassing. What, he wants to make a film about me, does he? All right. He's got great sideburns. Okay.

I used to call him sideboards when I was a kid. That was a 70s thing. I think the sideboards are the thickest thing. Ah, is that why? That's my interpretation of it anyway. Hot dog.

I just thought I'd just got it wrong. Anyway, so the It's Been is my new kitchen which hasn't happened yet and your Japanese movie. Stick into type, aren't we there?

Food in Japan. Should we get into the body show episode let's get in the body show episode for crying out loud we've had loads of emails on uh this particular subject should i start yeah go on i want to start with an email from the magnificently named and if we audition out our top three names from emailers on this show he would without question be in it. Winfield Klein. Is that a ship that Hartlepool and Portsmouth have both had in port at some point? Could be. We did it up, sent it down to you lot.

Sounds like a tea clipper. Is it the Wingfield Castle we sent down to you or the Warrior? I forget. The Warrior. The Warrior. Yeah, the Warrior. He's from Washington State

and he says this. Gentlemen, I could not believe my ears when I heard you talking about pectus excavatum. I had this condition as a child. I couldn't believe his chest, my leg. People will remember what we're talking about here, won't they? We haven't got to clarify it.

It's the concave chest thing. With respect. My ribs were growing into my chest, creating such a hole that I would tell my friends I was hit by a golf ball in order to explain it to them. In fact, if I put a golf ball into the hole, you could barely tell it was there under my shirt. Great for shoplifting. In golf shops. We've lost a lot of golf balls

today. I do a lot of thieving. What do you get? Mostly golf balls and gobstoppers, actually. I knew a mate who... Squash balls, I can do that. Get a couple in there. Anything small. Gobstoppers. actually. I knew a mate who... Squash balls, I can do that. Get a couple in there. Anything small. Gobstoppers. Ping pong balls.

My mate's nan... Open a sports shop. My mate's nan used to have a pacemaker, so she couldn't walk through. They had to turn off the beepers outside shops. She used to do a lot of shoplifting. That's excellent. That's excellent.

That is excellent. Wonderful. Very good. Wonderbar. And, yeah, he says, this is where the email sort of gets slightly horrific. Right. I had surgery for this condition at the age of 15, that is excellent yeah wonderful very good wunderbar and yeah he says this is where the email sort of gets slightly horrific

right I had surgery for this condition at the age of 15 in 1984 which is quite late usually they try and correct this at an earlier age and I think we did discuss

that last time he said my procedure was practically medieval and lasted about 10 hours the surgeon actually broke my ribs so they could be reshaped and he then put a

stainless steel bar in my chest to hold them in place while they healed um but he says with this method the bar was never rotated which is um in opposition to what we talked about last time around um on the treatment for this condition some months later the bar was removed through a small incision on my right side and i do indeed still have the bar in fact i woke up with it in my hand which is quite nice that's horrible i mean the thing is yeah presumably he means he woke up in his hand after it was removed not when it was put in oh that's come up the other side it's like when i used to have a breast it used to fall out my mouth loads yeah yeah a non-fixed breast um yeah right i used to have one of those as well um he said as my ribs were quite short due

to the way they'd grown the surgeon left me with a piece of Gore-Tex in my chest to protect my organs. If I get an x-ray, I have to always explain what that is. So that's really odd. It's not up to you to explain it, I think. What's that in your chest? You're the doctor, mate. Six years, medical degree. To me, a Gore-Tex is a jacket.

But it must be the material that makes up the jacket, I suppose. He said the procedure was so painful and I was so worried about my chest that I didn't sneeze for nearly three years. If I felt a sneeze coming on, I would go to great lengths to make it go away. Imagine that. That would be like ten orgasms at the end of that. Because they say it's like a seventh of an orgasm, don't they? A seventh? Kids in the schoolyard.

I don't know where they got seventh from. How long have you been measuring your orgasms? Do you have a scale? They're that good. The peak to scale. Oh, that was a 6.4. He finishes off by saying, there's another method I've heard about these days,

using very powerful magnets to reshape the rib cage. Evidently, it's nearly painless. Oh, well. Oh, Winfield, that is obscene. Absolutely obscene. He says, P.S. I heard baby teeth called deciduous teeth by my dentist recently because a lot of the leaves

on a deciduous tree, they fall out. That makes sense. That's nice. That's nice. I've just finished reading a book called This Is Going To Hurt

by Dr. Adam Kay, I think his name is. He's an ex-doctor in the NHS and then he's now a TV writer. Right. It's a very, very,

very funny book, very poignant in places as well and it's a bit of a gut punch here and there because of the experiences he had on a maternity ward as a registrar there. Or he eventually becomes

a registrar there. He was talking about magnetic resonance imagery, MRI scans, and saying that like, if you've got a piece of metal in your body, like a piercing or something,

it can literally, the magnets are so strong it'll just pull out your body if you've if you've thrown i've seen someone throw they've turned on an mri machine they've thrown a bit of metal or a like a mobile phone or something into it and it just absolutely clatters around just floats all over the place smashes it to pieces yeah very exciting yeah incredibly exciting that's why i purchased it and that's why it's like you've just come in with a fractured skull, Peter. Don't throw your mobile phone into the hole.

I don't want it yet. This is where, oh, is that the mobile phone bin? I remember listening to another podcast. Peter and Gamble, back in the day, was very, very funny. You used to love that. You used to have a T-shirt at that podcast. No, I did not. Did I?

Yeah. Did I? No. You've got a T-shirt for everything. You have. He was listening. He had a mate who, sadly, I think passed away. She came out of the MRI scanner and said I'm a brown

I'm a brown because it looks a bit like a sunbed I'm a brown I can remember an ex-girlfriend of mine when I lived in New Zealand she used to go and get fake tan and it was the spray thing

but the first time she ever went to get it she told me that she went in and it's like, have you ever been in a single shower cubicle where you go in through the door, there's like a little bench and then there's the screen door and you go through the screen door into the shower itself so then you have a shower in there and you get out and you dry yourself

in that little bit so that's what the fake tan spray thing was like at this place she went to. Right. But when she first went, she didn't know. So she just went into the first bit and they said, oh yeah, just make your way through, get in there and we'll start it. It'll give you, it'll coat you all over and then you'll come out.

Right. She's like, okay, fine. She goes into the first bit, but doesn't go into the shower cubicle. She just stands there for like 20 minutes and then goes, oh, I didn't really feel anything. That's weird. Came out, looked exactly the same and their friends were like, you look exactly the same.

What's happened? And then she only worked out later on that she had to go back into the... She didn't go into the actual... Into Narnia. Yeah. Into brown Narnia. There we go.

Have you been to brown Narnia? It's lovely this time of year. Very brown. Let's have one from James Holmes. James Holmes. Hello, James. This is obscene. Oh, I like this one.

You like this one? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It really speaks to the child in me. And all these sort of rumours you would hear from this next town along, or the other school, or this kid that you never quite saw. Yeah. It's almost like an apocryphal type thing. But the way he tells it is obviously that it's real.

Very, very great. If you're having your dinner, if you're having one of those Chinese dumplings, maybe just pop it under the bamboo lid. If you're having a hard-boiled egg right now, dig in.

Last week, the question, have you ever had to call 999 was briefly asked and it reminded me of the only time I've ever had to do it. As an avid BMX bike rider,

I was at the skate park nearly every day of my teenage years. One day when I was about 19, I was on a good ride with a mate and he took a very innocuous looking tumble. As expected, he got straight back to his feet, no harm done. He then stood looking down with his back to me for a few seconds before starting to scream.

Not screams of pain, but panic screams. The type you'd make if you came face to face with a masked intruder in the night. My balls, my balls. Oh God, I've ripped open my balls, he screamed. He turned around with his jeans ripped all around his crotch and opened his legs to show, oh God, to show what I can only describe as a translucent white ball.

Yeah. Like an undercooked porch egg hanging from some veins. A ball outside the sack. As all the 13-year-olds at the skate park literally fell about laughing, I quickly realised that I was the oldest and therefore the most responsible person there. I resisted the urge to laugh and called 999. What's the problem?

The operator asked, struggling to sound sincere and not like a prank caller. I replied with, my friends ripped his balls open. I vividly remember the deadpan delivery with which the operator replied, so a scrotal injury,

at which point I exploded with laughter and to surprise, so did the operator. We then continued the call in fits of giggles with both myself and the operator, occasionally stating, we shouldn't be laughing, we shouldn't be laughing. Is he doing this in earshot of the victim? Presumably, yeah. Ball shot.

Who, really, he's had his ball shot. Things got even more hilarious when the paramedic arrived, laid my friend on his back with his legs spread and knees up, placed a towel over his legs, and then went under the towel to inspect, like a lady in premature labour in public. At this point, quite a crowd had gathered and everyone was taking pictures like the one I have attached. Anyway, he was fine.

He was all sewn up and no long-term damage. But I think he... I remember him saying he couldn't touch himself for four to six weeks. He still gets called Johnny One Bollock to this day. He didn't lose a bollock and he's not even called Johnny. No. Love the show.

Thank you, James Holmes. James, you have besmirched the show. I haven't seen the photo. It's just a boy under a towel. Oh, good. Nothing more graphic than that. It wouldn't be appropriate

to share that. No. I imagine if you wanted to type in scrotal injury into Google, you could find something equally as horrific. I mean, don't do that.

Oh. That is horrific. And I think every man listening would have cringed. In that book I was just referencing, This Is Going To Hurt, he reports on a time, I think he must have been doing the rotation as he was learning to be a junior doctor or something.

And he says a guy comes in with a horrific penal injury, basically. And what turns out is he was showing off while drunk, jumped on top of a bus shelter, jumped onto a lamppost and slid down it. Right. But he had shorts on. It was in the summer.

And he didn't realise that the paint on the lamppost was this Santex paint. So it's basically sandpaper. And he slid all the way down it. Right. And basically, essentially ripped his penis off. Yeah. Why was he gripping it so tight with his penis?

Why didn't he want to use his feet? Well, he's got his legs around it, hasn't he, I guess? Yeah. Anyway, look, that book is fantastic. That is one of the worst parts about it. Yeah. But yeah, there you go. So it does happen.

The mind literally can boggle sometimes, Pete. What a mess. Yes. What a mess down there,'ll tell you what. Do you want a quick one from John? Yeah. My name is John. I'm from, get this, this is the only reason why I included this email, to be quite frank. If you're from somewhere with an interesting place name, you will get on the show. My name is John and I'm from King of Prussia, Pennsylvania. I love it.

The King of Prussia. I did a little Google. Apparently it was due to a notorious pub that used to be there called the King of Prussia. I was annoyed when I read this email because as regular listeners to the show will know, my wife is from the US and she's not from, relatively speaking, that far from there, yet no one in the family has ever told me about this place. King of Prussia.

But the only thing about it is, I did look it up and I can't find anything interesting about it, other than the fact it's apparently got the largest shopping mall in the US, which is surprising. Okay. You'd think that would be somewhere bigger. Everything's sort of so off-grid in America, isn't it?

Everything's kind of, you just drive to everything. But I suspect that King of Prussia might be an area of Philadelphia. Well. That's probably why. Well, anyway, basically celebrating the great American holiday of Philadelphia. Well. That's probably why. Well, anyway, he's basically celebrating the great American holiday of Thanksgiving. This is a story

from back in the day. And one of his dogs, Welsh Terriers for perspective, ate two sticks of butter. He then proceeded to get his stomach pumped. Unfortunately, that did not work

and it seemed it was close to his deathbed. But one doctor suggested an uncommon treatment. She said she had been studying acupuncture. At this point, I would have went, get out.

You're not fit to deal with my dog's problems. I don't even want that done with humans. No, exactly. And who would have thought? But it worked. The next day, it was as if he was a new dog. Because it was a new dog. She just smoked him.

I told you it would work. Read my book, Acupuncture and Dogs. Have you dyed that dog the same colour? Yeah. We had a couple of emails about how to pump your dog's stomach. Hydrogen peroxide,

it says M. 3% hydrogen peroxide, because hydrogen peroxide is the stuff you bleach your hair, isn't it? I think that's like 10, 20%. Yeah. But 3%,

according to Google, should sort your pooch out if chocolate has been ingested. John also says he's got a pair of super value batteries, which I've never heard of before. Yeah, we've not really heard any sort of...

On the acupuncture thing, I don't know if this is of interest to you, Pete, but it is to me. Alternative remedies for ailments is something I find quite interesting because I am someone who, I guess, likes to read about scientific stuff. So everyone who knows anything about science says,

oh, these alternative medicines don't actually work. It's like placebo effect and all the rest of it. I mean, can you get a placebo effect on a dog? How do you explain the prospect of placebo to a dog? So if that story is true, and we trust our listeners to be honest, acupuncture on a dog, the dog, I suppose, could be aware that he's receiving some sort of medical treatment and that it could work, but then if it's a physiological

thing, i.e. he's poisoned itself, I don't really know how it would work. I just think he's misdiagnosed. It's a new dog. How much butter did you eat? It's a new dog. It is a new dog. If you put acupuncture on a dog, how do you... Because you've got to put a little cone on them if they've got an injury. So how do you stop them from touching the needles?

A little cone on every needle. Yeah, exactly. So he doesn't touch them. I always find it quite cute and a little bit sad when I see a dog with a little collar thing on. They look like inverted lamps, don't they? Yeah.

My cats have never had one of those. I don't know why. No, my ex had a dog that got savaged by a Rottweiler and to his little Bichon Frise thing, just his guts, her guts were out. had a dog that got savaged by a Rottweiler. And to his little Bichon Frise thing, just his guts, her guts were out. Oh, God.

And to the mum's eternal credit, she just fucking scooped them up back into the dog, took it to the vets, and a little while down the line, she recovered. Incredible. That's mad. Incredible.

I would not be able to do that, I don't think. Before we go to... Should we go for a break and then talk about Corby in Northamptonshire? Let's talk about Corby in Northamptonshire. And we're going to press this button, all right? OK, Luke, don't gunge me, mate. Pipe down, Pete. I told you never to argue with the customers.

We haven't had that one for a little while. No, we haven't. Gosh darn it. We don't have any customers, really. No. So you're safe. Our customers are very much the people who are listening right now. As promised, Corby.

Corby. So we talked about Corby last week. Yeah. A town in Northamptonshire in which someone got in touch saying it's rough and all the rest of it. And I've not been there. Pete, you know a bit about it. Well, I clearly don't because I said that the band Capped Down were from Corby. Oh, they're from Milton Keynes.

From Milton Keynes. From Milton Keynes? What an idiot. We got a load of tweets about that. Apologies for that particular... A he-ness. A he-ness. A ridiculous behaviour. Did I volunteer last week that I knew a guy at uni

from Corby? I think that's as close as I got. I can't really remember. But anyway, someone got in touch saying that, or a few people actually got in touch, saying that Corby was on the short list of two for the European Disneyland site, which obviously eventually went to Paris. I have no idea.

I, if it's true or B, if it is true, why that was the case. And so I Googled it. I looked up, um, I found this,

this website, the BBC, um, called, uh, doomsday reloaded. Have you heard about this? No.

So I haven't heard about it either, but apparently in 1986, exactly 900 years after William the Conqueror's original Doomsday book, the BBC published this project called the Doomsday Project. And what they're trying to do was they were trying to get as many people as possible to contribute to everyday stuff

of what life is like in 1986 in the uk okay preserve it and so in in years to come or whatever um i guess i guess like ambitiously like another thousand years people could see right so it's like an aping of the original doomsday book they managed to get over a million people to contribute with um photos and all the rest of it and um i guess at some point it was uploaded online and i this thing came up from 1986 called wonder world corby which is how i got onto this and someone and there's just a weird um um like i suppose like missive a written missive saying the answer to unemployment in corby would be the development of wonder world a 21st century theme park.

Wonder World is the idea of a company called Group 5 Holdings who propose to turn a vast area of exhausted ironworkings at Weldon into the European equivalent of America's Disneyland. The theme park was supposed to have been started two years ago, but the planners claim that difficulties in raising the capital required for the first stage, over £100 million, have delayed this. Many local people are skeptical that it will ever be built although corby district council assure us that it will the park is designed to include high technology computerized games and leisure facilities and a golf course

designed by the famous jack nicholas oh my there's nothing more kind of 80s and that is there really i mean it's just so wonderful and i i'm thinking mr blob Blobby World. I'm instantly thinking Mr. Blobby World or maybe that fairground that's near Chernobyl. Exactly, right? And that is highly disrespectful to Corby. So that's why I'm pleased you said it and not me.

I don't even know if that's real, but I mean, it's pretty real on the BBC website. It's BBC website forward slash history forward slash Doomsday.

So they just said, so what was the Doomsday part of that exactly? So they were just... Because the original book was the Doomsday book. No, but I mean they just said, so what was the doomsday part of that exactly? So they were just... Because the original book was the doomsday book. No, but I mean like... Oh, so you want a bit more information on how it actually works.

So what they did is they, I think they took a map of the UK and divided it into little blocks and got all the stories from the people who lived in each block just to write something or take a photo or something like that. I mean, I was only five when it happened, so I have no idea.

There was a gentleman who emailed in. He's a nuclear fishing expert, I guess. But he didn't want to be named. He didn't want his full name put in, so I'm not even going to give him his first name because I haven't written it down. But he was talking about the difficulties on how to come up with adequate um sign for nuclear waste or the

dangers of nuclear um right you know coming into contact with radiation effectively yeah um and coming up with a logo so um the skull and crossbones doesn't really work because um that's just danger generally is it well no because like 400 years ago um skull and crossbones were actually either a positive thing i think rebirth or or stuff like that and it was adopted by pirates and the Johnny Rogers Oh so they're looking for a universal

worldwide thing Yeah exactly so they came up with all kinds of different ideas there was like a cartoon of a person

going over to something radioactive and then falling sick but our email makes the point that it just looks like if it was played

in backwards or if you read right to left it looked like he'd found a font of eternal youth. But he's better again. Amazing. If we touch this special thing. So yeah, it's really difficult.

What was the solution? I can't remember what they went with. Right, good. I can't remember what they went with. But yes, Corby in the final for hosting Euro Disney. I don't know how that fits into the body episode. A body of work? A body of work for the Doomsday project.

There would have been a body of people that were deciding on whether they were going to put Euro Disney in Corby or Paris. I mean, it's an odd sell, isn't it? Paris versus Corby. So what I can do is I can, on the Doomsday section of the BBC website, I can type in Why is on the Doomsday section of the BBC website, I can type in...

Why is there a Doomsday section of the BBC website? Well, it's funny, isn't it? Because it's spelt Domesday. For people who aren't of the UK listening and don't know what the Doomsday book is, it's spelt Domesday. D-O-M-E-S-D-A-Y. But on this Doomsday part of the BBC website,

you can type in a postcode and see an insight into what people were doing in 1986 in that postcode. So if you give me the postcode in which you can type in a postcode and see an insight into what people were doing in 1986 in that postcode. So if you give me the postcode in which you grew up in... TS26. What's TS in that? Teesside. Teesside, okay, yeah.

We are Teesside, we're the future, we're the pride. Was that an actual song? That was an actual song. It was like a really American kind of... I suspect that it was one of those songs that was reused for several different locales. Okay, right. And just rebranded for T-Side. TS-26-9JD.

Have you made that up? No, I just can't remember. Okay, right. I'll search that. Might not even still exist. Here we go. Here we go. That's coming up

with absolutely nothing. It's come up with absolutely nothing. It's come up with children using a BBC microcomputer to work on the Doomsday Project. Bit of a self-fulfilling thing, really. Yeah, yeah. I'll type in mine. Yeah, all right, type in yours. I'll type in mine and see what... Which one was yours?

Mine is P012 for Portsmouth. P012? Is that what you're making it up? What's your name? Bill Dorr. You don't know this. No, P0124PS right

let's see what we've got hang on P0124PS we've got no hope if the BBC Doomsday website doesn't work nothing

nothing on that it's rubbish sort your hyperlinks out guys admittedly I should have checked that before I came in the studio but I was a bit short of time

anyway if you do work for the BBC sort your hyperlinks out sort your legacy hyperlinks out guys Admittedly, I should have checked that before I came in the studio, but I was a bit short of time. Anyway, go to... If you do work for the BBC, sort your hyperlinks out. Sort your legacy hyperlinks out, guys. I can't believe there's one for Wonderworld Corby. D-block GB4880028800. But there's nothing for anything else. It sounds like a dystopic novel. Have you been to Corby D7?

Yeah. Oh, dear. Anyway, just before we move on from that it was uploaded onto the internet in 2011 as the 25th anniversary of the project

so that's why it's on there right okay I see well again sort your links out do people use the word hyperlinks Nicholas sent us a video

featuring a boy eating cereal out of his concave chest I noticed that was a highlight of my week my goodness me but he gets

a fair whack of cereal in there messy very messy but he can presumably he's got a lie on his back yeah a highlight of my week. My goodness me. But he gets, you know, he gets a fair whack of cereal in there. Messy. Very messy, but he can... Presumably he's got a lye on his back. Yeah. That would be madness otherwise.

Yeah. But you can't eat and drink when you're lye on your back. Well, you could... I mean, you could wedge... If you could stand up, you could wedge and ball in it like an alcove.

Like an alcove of cereal, I suppose. I don't know. There was a kid at my uni. I might have told cereal, I suppose. I don't know. There was a kid at my uni, I might have told you this before, but I don't think I've talked about it on the show. There was a kid at my uni who was a larger gentleman, I won't name him because it wouldn't be fair, and he used to eat M&Ms with milk in a bowl for cereal in the morning. I mean, most modern cereals, most modern, well, probably most like 80s child cereals

probably had the same amount of calories and the same amount of sugar. They probably did, yeah. Because, I mean, I was always, I can remember, this might say more about me than anything else, but I can remember being led to believe as a kid, because we weren't, as kids, people of our age, weren't really anywhere near as aware of the nutritional information of food. Oh, God, no.

No. I remember being led to believe that not only cereals were healthy, just blanket cereal was a healthy breakfast, but cheese as well. Oh, cheese was healthy? Yeah. Well, calcium gets sold to kids quite a lot, don't it?

It's a kind of like getting crap through the back door, don't it? It's got like 100% of your days worth of calcium. So, yeah, it's got two days worth of fat as well, you idiot. Being selective. Bloody idiots. My wife says she never

used to drink milk as a kid. She thought it was just weird that humans should drink it and she still says that now. It is weird, but I mean, yeah. What are you going to do about it?

As it was pointed out to me once before, the first person to sort of spot a cow and go, I'll have a bit of that. I'm going to put my lips on that. Bit weird.

Delicious. But also I think I have started to have an almond milk in my lattes. And it's well lower in fat. What's that? If you didn't get it. Almond milk. Oh, yeah.

Very wasteful, though. Apparently, they've got to use a lot of water to make it. I think almond is among the thirstiest of the crops. The thirstiest of the crops. Is that right? I think they might have contributed. I'm freestyling here. But I think they might have contributed. I'm freestyling here, but I think they might have

contributed in a big way to the recent drought in California. A lot of almond farming goes on there. Have you seen the guys in, I think Mexico, who are trying to turn cocoa leaf production into like a superfood sort of thing?

Cocoa leaf or coca leaf? Sorry, coca leaf. Yeah. That might be slightly different. No, wait, hang on. Which one's coca leaf? Coca leaf is cocaine. Yeah, coca. So they're trying to turn might be slightly different. No, wait, hang on. Which one's coca leaf? Coca leaf is cocaine. Yeah, coca.

Yeah, so they try to turn it into a superfood and like, obviously the cartels are going, yeah, that's not fucking out. Is it superfood already, in a way? Do you know that...

I've lost loads of weight on it. There was an account I read, there was an account I read once that said when certain explorers and conquistadors and stuff turned up in South America,

that local indigenous people had coca leaves shoved in their mouths, up their noses, in their ears. Yeah. Because they were already massively addicted to it, a lot of the people that already lived there. Sweet as a nut. Yeah. Imagine how much stuff you'd get done.

Oh, wow. Samuel Burrows emailed in about the... We'd stop in this. I hate tedious wordplay riddles I hate wordplay at the best of times unless it's particularly player-y is he related to William Burrows? I don't think so, not on this form to be honest

the music stops, the woman dies remember that riddle? the music stops, the woman dies the answer is the lady was playing past the parcel the music stopped on her turn, she opened the package,

it was a baby hippo and it bit her face off and she died. I think it mixes in a lot of flavours from previous Luke and Pete shows. It's very on brand,

but I'm going to follow that down the sort of less than likely end of the spectrum. Yeah, alright. Well, thank you Samuel Burrows

for that email. If you want to get in touch with the show, as always, it's hello at lukenpeachshow.com. I almost did the wrong one there as well. Did you? Speaking of William Burrows, that email if you want to get in touch with the show as always it's hello at lukenpeach.com I almost did the wrong one there as well

did you yeah speaking of William Burrows a good friend of mine Jimmy in fact my oldest friend Jimmy the fruitarian yes yes

he is a voracious reader of everything is he still a fruitarian no right no he's not and if I don't know why

I should ask him but you know when you probably have this I definitely do I'm sure you do as well you you hear someone recommend a book or you see a book and you've heard of it because it's famous and you think but i can never read that it's too hard do you have that yes so so but my friend jimmy never has that so he he'll he can read everything i'm not just bigging him up because

he's my pal genuinely he can read everything he's very very very well read and for christmas um between a few of my friends, we do a secret Santa thing. And he got me, and he got me Ulysses by James Joyce. Right, okay, yeah. And I sort of thought, well, he's bought it for me as a present. So I don't want to be like, oh, I'm never going to be able to read that. So obviously I was very grateful and all the rest of it.

And he even went as far as to recommend a study guide to buy with it. Yeah, I mean, with is kind of, with literature over a certain age, I think just... You need it. Lexicon. Lexicon. The lexicon has changed, yeah.

Lexicon. But it's not that... Graphical-wise. But it's not actually that old. You need to read more books. Lexicon. So, what I would be interested in

if any listeners out there have had this similar problem and they've overcome it, how do you read? At the risk of making myself sound really unintelligent, how do you read at the risk of making myself sound really unintelligent how do you

read it's disintelligent yeah how do you read really tough books like that how do you do it because I

I've done the first few pages and it's like I can't get into it it's just leaving me cold it's leaving me so cold I prefer the work of the great Dan Brown

you know he's a page turner you can't you can't deny it but as a book reader I'm the great Dan Brown. He's a page-turner. You can't deny it. But as a book reader, this is Dan Brown here, and I've got no problem with Dan Brown, as you know, and you guys tease me for it. This end of the spectrum here, Dan Brown.

This end, James Joyce. I'm probably in the middle. Yeah, you are a voracious reader, to be fair. And I don't think you should be, I think you should have a lot of respect for yourself but yeah I was reading I was reading

I'm trying to find it on my mate's Instagram because she recommended it and then I bought it so I've just finished I've also just finished reading Skyfaring which is very good

by a jumbo jet pilot very very well written and I'm now in the middle of reading a Tim O'Brien book, who I absolutely love. Javier Marias, or Marias, A Heart So White. What's it about? Well, it's about a man who translates for people, who has an experience in Cuba.

It's a bit sexy. It's a bit sexy? Was that a cover note on there? A cover quote? But I find that sometimes with translated books, it's translated bit sexy it's a bit sexy was that a cover note on there a cover quote but it's like but I find that sometimes with translated books

it's translated from Spanish I find it's translated books it's actually quite it just goes over the same ground like he reasserts

the same sentence five or six times right and I'm sure it sounds beautiful in Spanish but it just does not sound as musical

I think in English they say that... Oh, Lord, guys. They say if you read a Russian classic in the original Russian, it's absolutely amazing. But the world of translation

is a very competitive world. I read a really interesting article about it fairly recently. I might have even mentioned it to you before. I think we spoke about this on the Luke Peat Show

about localisation versus translation. Anyway, Pete, the next week's show is going to be the words show. I know, right? We should leave that there, shouldn't we? Yeah, we should pretty much get out of here, I think. Shall we just once again reiterate

the email address? Yes, it is hello at lukeandpeetshow.com Please do get in touch. We get so many of your emails but we do genuinely read every single one of them and try and sort out the ones we want to include. So do email in and don't fear that it won't be read because it absolutely will. Don't fear the reader.

We've got a team of readers because Pete and I are illiterate. Let's get out of here. We'll be back with a words episode next time. Don't rip your scrotum open. I mean, that's good advice any time. Really. Outro Music