The Luke and Pete Show - Episode 35: The Words Show

Episode Date: January 29, 2018

Another week and another themed episode from the chaps, as this time around they get stuck into wordy matters, including yet more children with inadvisable names. We find time for more Steve McQueen and Paul Newman chat too, as well as a decent treatise on Pete's specialist subject - getting drunk at home in your underwear.There's also good news for the statue enthusiasts among you, so stay tuned for Mencarta.Further Reading:The Bruce Lee Statue in Mostar: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Statue_of_Bruce_Lee_(Mostar)The Dutch Reach: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/travel/news/the-dutch-reach-how-opening-car-door-like-the-dutch-could-save-lives-cycling/Towering Inferno trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zsRnQQpklPMLeave us a review, and a rating on iTunes and don't forget to subscribe!Socials: @lukeandpeteshowEmail: [e-mail] Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

words luke moore words are all i have to take the something away that song words we all need them yeah it's the luke and pete shaw number words and we're back for more fun and games, but mainly words. It's not going to be dull, though, if you're thinking, oh, sod off, whiz bit, not interested. Not interested about words. Shut up, Poindexter. It wasn't whiz bit. It was, who's the one, Magic E.

Do you remember Magic, Magic E? No. If you're not English, it doesn't really work. But it was basically a kids' TV show, uh educational show that was on around 10 a.m if you're off for ill uh from school for some reason they always used to put educational shows on when people were at school which didn't make any sense uh but it was a it was a little little wonky little animal that used to change words around words change around with me something change around with me magic magic i think you'd be a pretty good children's presenter.

Why haven't I got that job? Is it because I'm not CRB checked? Almost certainly. Is it because I'm not CRB checked? But this is episode 35. I am, of course, Luke Moore. Opposite me is Mr. Pete Donaldson. Yeah, sweet picture, baby.

Someone photoshopped a picture of us, didn't they? Yeah. We forgot to mention it last week. They put my hair on your face and your hair on my face. Yeah, it wasn't like a simple face swap. They put your hair on my face. I've just said that. And my hair on your face.

But what I would say is, I would start the show by saying what I would say is, is that I look magnificent and you look dreadful. Absolutely. So it's on our Instagram, which is LukeandPeteShow. Do check it out. Follow us and all the rest of it I'll put it straight up there and I said to you privately

and I'll say it again now you look like a million dollars with my hair you look like a guy who used to be in a good sort of west coast

band and has lived healthily ever since yeah but now there's a lot of yoga and now is a very successful actor you almost look like

an alternative Justin Timberlake. Whereas I look like a dangerous predator. You look like your face could fit a scar in that particular situation. I mean, to be fair, your hair,

it was like post-haircut photograph day, wasn't it, at school with that hair. I mean, it was a particularly good example of your hair if you don't want to say. Yeah, I think we had it.

We had to have photos done for some show we were doing, live show or something. Did I take my clothes off? Almost certainly. I was in better nick that day. So we've decided that episode 35 is the words show. Words!

The subtitle, sort of tagline for this show is words. We all need them. Yeah, words are all I have. Have you ever been to take your heart away? To take a heart away, that's what it is. It's only words. Yeah. And words are all I have to take your heart away.

Why does he want to take a heart away? I think he wants to take it for his own. Oh, I see. That song was popularised more recently by, was it Boyzoned? But it was, of course, written by the fantastic Gibb brothers.

The Gibb brothers. The Gibb brothers. Yeah. Were they all brothers, all three of them? I think there were more than three, were there not? Were there what?

But I think only three of them were in the Bee Gees. I didn't want to meet the other one. Only three of them. Did you remember when they were on that chat show and they all stormed off?

Yes, beautiful. Was it Morgan? No. Clive Anderson. Clive Anderson. Fantastic. Have you ever been in a situation where you've travelled somewhere,

you've gone overseas, the native language is not English and you can't speak the local language and the people you're encountering can't speak your language

but it's in a bar or something like that and the only thing you can ever bond over is the name of football players from each country. Yes,

it happens a lot in taxis to be fair. I think I was in Ghent in Belgium and there was a bloke who I don't speak any French or anything really. You've got a bit of Japanese in the locker. I've got a little bit of Japanese in the locker. All those DVD movies you're watching.

That was interesting to think about watching it. Some of the words they'll say something, and the actual subtitles that come up is something completely different. Right. So I think the translator sometimes goes, well, they mean this, don't they? Right.

That's an interesting rewriting of what was just said on the screen. Very strange. So words, then. Words are important. Words are important. We talked, interestingly enough, I suppose we unintentionally segued into this episode by ending last week's show talking about books and hard books to read and easy books to read and all the rest of it.

So we decided to expand upon that this week with a words show. Words. This is largely made up of listener contributions as usual. Do you want to do an It's Bean this week or are you not going to do that? I would smash through it into the emails, I think. Is that fair, Deuce? Have you done anything particularly interesting this week? Yeah, now you're asking. Now you're asking.

How's your kitchen? I'll update you periodically on that. The thing I'm worried about is that people like to hear you do it. It's been! It's been end! It's the shortest It's Been section. Oh. It's been. There you go. It's been end. Yeah, finish. It's the shortest It's Been section on record. It's gone.

Alright, so straight into the emails then about words. Yeah, Helen Little says I could do with the French having a phrase for that feeling of being late to a party but attending anyway because I was catching up on some recent episodes of the Luke and Pete show this morning and I enjoyed the discussion of enjoyable foreign phrases. Luke later mentioned

Americans calling candy floss cotton candy, which reminded me of my favourite foreign language fact. The French for candy floss is barbe a papa. Or barbe a papa. Or grandfather's beard. Grandfather's beard! Isn't that lovely? That's fantastic. They also call table football baby foot,

which we should be doing. Well, I agree with that. That is one of my favourite French words. Yeah, so... Le baby foot. Table football... Je joue au baby foot. Yeah. I thought my favourite French words. Yeah, so... Le baby foot. Table football. Je joue au baby foot. Yeah.

I thought you didn't speak any French. Je joue au baby foot. What does that mean? I play. Je joue au football. Il est bout. You're going to carry on with this? Oui, ça va très bien, monsieur.

Assez-vous la classe. It's not bad. You've got more French than me. What? Sit down, classe. Yeah. Bonjour, madame Lam. Stop this. Stop this.

Stop this. The only... Because I've got something to say. And this is the word show. The only other word I know for table football is foosball. Foosball, yeah. That was adopted in... Friends.

America. In Friends, yeah. There was a weird thing of those darn millennials watching Friends. There's some people who've never watched Friends for the first time because it's now on Netflix and they're watching it

and they're going, oh, this is a bit homophobic. This is a bit rough. There was actually a debate on a radio station which escapes me about this

and I actually heard some of it and they were saying that people were coming new to Friends, this 90s beer moth at the show. These actors are getting a million dollars an episode and all the rest of it um it was really sort of um if you think that there's so many big networked shows now netflix and all the rest of

it but that that was a that was a stood alone didn't it in the time the time everyone knew it knew it they were saying on that that all the men in it are like quite objectionable characters like like joey's like a objectionable characters like Joey's like a real pervert like in this post Weinstein environment that we're now living it just looks awful

Ross is this homophobic terrified of two gay women you know his ex-wife who turns out to be gay he makes loads of unsavoury jokes

about lesbianism and all the rest of it but you've got to remember like the writers will have been you know grown up in like the 60s. That's the thing.

But because it was so fresh and so cool at the time. But isn't it, I get that. We kind of forget, nobody remembers the bad shit. It's like the first series

of Only Fools and Horses. That was full of Pakistani jokes, all that crap. But they never got played against and nobody ever really sort of picks them up or they got edited out anyway.

But the writers of Friends wouldn't have grown up in the 60s. Well, they would have been pretty, they would have been old hands. I mean, this is a big network TV show. No matter how, there wouldn't have been, like, young fucking thrusting writers on Friends.

Like, there would have been some old journeyman kind of studio writers on it, I'm sure. So one of the main creators was David Crane, and he's now 60. Right, okay. So he would have been, he would have been in the 70s, basically. But he would have been, he would have been, I'm sure. So one of the main creators was David Crane and he's now 60. So he would have been, so he'd have grown up in the 70s basically.

But he would have been, he would have been, yeah, exactly, but he would have been kind of writing with writers who were much older than him, I'm sure of that. I get that,

but do you not find it fascinating how just, how quickly the pace of life is moving on now? I mean, the frenzy isn't that long ago. Honestly, you can listen to,

I'm glad that I was like, didn't grow you can listen to I'm glad that I was like didn't grow up with YouTube I'm glad that what are you going to say with you that's alright I'm glad I didn't sort of grow up because like

when you're a kid you sort of try and be a bit edgy you try and be a bit naughty and stuff and I'm so glad there ain't that much stuff out there of me

on the internet because people you know trial by Twitter and stuff like that people can't let shit go I'm just as bad I'm people, you know, trial by Twitter and stuff like that. People can't let shit go. I'm just as bad.

I'm still like, you know, judge people quite harshly. And I've always been very, very careful about what I say. But I mean, but judged,

even in the last five years, things have moved so quickly. And, you know, I'm mid-thirties now and I'm trying to keep up. I'm trying to keep up. And I thought I'm doing an all right job, but it's hard.

It's very difficult. With our clothes, we're not keeping up. No, no, no. But Friends finished in 2004. It's not that long ago. No, but it's... Relatively speaking. It's still, you know, nigh on 15, isn't it?

Anyway, how do we get talking about... Oh, foosball. Foosball. Oh, yeah, foosball. Textbook tangent now. Well, speaking of the media, Helen Little does go on to say, a bonus towering inferno rivalry fact.

Not only did Newman and McQueen have reportedly the same number of lines, but they both wanted to be first to build on the movie posters. This led to the introduction of diagonal billing, where names were positioned so that Newman's was first reading top down, but McQueen's was first reading left to right.

I remember learning about that at university and the general reaction in the room of 19 year olds was what a pair of children I agree Mark Elms also got in touch with that fact as well fantastic

Fred Astaire received his only Oscar nomination for this film and not for any of the musical pictures for which he was most famous interesting are you having that?

yeah I didn't know that so much Towering Inferno gossip I mean because that was a proper ensemble kind of big hitter cast as well. He plays the con man in the movie, doesn't he? Absolutely, for ages. Fred Astaire plays the con man in that.

It's also worth noting that, and Helen, I know for a fact, has been listening to our podcast for over 10 years. So she's a glut of a punishment, but God bless her. Fred Astaire apparently had a well-known, like official request. I don't know if he wrote it legally into a contract or whatever he could do legally to do this, but he wanted to ensure that his life was never portrayed in a film.

He said, I have no idea. I'm sorry, I have no particular desire to have my life misinterpreted, which it would be. So that's what there's never been a biopic made about Fred Astaire, who had an amazing life and was an incredibly talented guy. That's interesting, isn't it? How did that kind of... How could he stop people doing that? Could we not just make a film about Benny a bear? Benny a bear there.

Just make it a fake biopic about someone who may or may not be Fred Astaire. There was... I think it's about Fred Astaire that apparently famously the notes made from his first audition about him, who then went on to be the greatest dancer in the history of cinema, arguably.

One of the greatest male film stars of all time. But the quote after his first audition on the notes made by potential directors and stuff or casting agents said, can't act, can't sing, can dance a little. Apparently that's what it said. I mean, I can't remember his acting very well dance a little apparently that's what he said I mean I can't remember his acting very well

but his dancing certainly top notch and speaking as a dancer yourself of some repute I know right I mean round the nightclubs

of Hartlepool Snake kept Donny in the looms as they call him as they call him there we go Mark Elms also got in touch with this fact

about towering of Fener didn't he have you already mentioned that yes I've already mentioned that Mark Elms is another friend of the podcast. Well, that's why I brought him in early doors. That's why I brought him in early doors. I think Mark Elms is the chap we know who used to run the Prince Charles Cinema in Leicester Square.

I believe that's the case. Yeah. I think he's somewhere else now. Oh, we're hobnobbing. We're hobnobbing with the best... The Prince Charles Cinema is the best cinema in Leicester Square as well. Yeah, it is. I mean, it's not a big...

They're redoing the audience I'm going to reserve judgement until the audience finished it's getting a remake you're not going

near there's no way you are going near the audience or any of those other ones in Leicester Square because the prices

are unreal I went to see Dunkirk in 80mm I forget which size big film big old film

and I was sat in the post sheets and it was the best part 25 quid it was obscene And it's 80 millimetres. I forget which size. Big, big film in here. Big old film. And I was sat in the post sheets. And it was the best part of 25 quid. It was obscene. I think it's more than that now. I think it's around 30 quid to go and watch, at least to go and watch a movie in Leicester Square. And that was like 11 o'clock in the morning.

I think they don't change it by time, do they? No. They should do, because no one goes there during the day. No, exactly. Spread out. There we go. That's why I say that's when my dad goes to the View Cinema in Hartlepool in the afternoons. He takes half an hour. Go on, you do another one, mate. Devon in Berlin.

Basically, a word that we've not heard before. I think it's Feierabend. Feierabend. Which describes a German word, or German two words, I guess, or a concatenated word, if you will, which describes a sense of well-being, relief and relaxation

that one experiences as they get off work for the night. It's commonly referred to by workers and officers around the country, which tells me that, at least with regards to the work-life balance, Germans have their priorities straight. The best part best part however is the literal translation to english fire arband is party evening very good did you check that guten arband i know arban's night in it i've never heard that um we i suppose we have demob happy which would be similar happy yeah i think that that probably refers more to actually leaving the job for good. Fantastic. Here's one from Dave Enzor.

Enzor! Who mentions yet another word which fits perfectly into the words show, Pete. Yeah. He says, I recently discovered the Dutch reach. Dave, you filthbag! The Dutch reach, I'm not having this. So this is relevant to my interest, and I'll tell you why shortly. He says, it's nowhere near as rude as it seems. The phrase is actually a potential lifesaver.

Now, many people out there will have heard of this, but I'm sure there are some people who haven't. The term originates from a technique used to avoid dooring, where a cyclist hits a car door being opened by a less than aware driver. So you imagine the car's parked up on the roadside, the cyclist is riding past,

someone without looking opens the door and absolutely smashes the cyclist. It says it involves using your far hand to open the car door, forcing your body to turn around and take note of any potential hazards before you exit. So if you imagine it, you use your other hand,

so you turn your whole body. For drivers on the right, it would be your right hand. On your left, it would be, in the UK, your left. It's a great habit to get into, isn't it? It is. In a country where cycling is prevalent, it's the uk you're left now it's a great habit to get into isn't it it is um in a country uh with cycling is prevalent in holland you can see why it's important but the term doesn't actually originate from there it's an apparent us invention i guess they named it

after the fact that everyone in amsterdam has all right okay this happens to me all the time but when you get dod but when i'm running not when i'm cycling what people just open the so if i'm running along a pavement so I go out for a run in the evening, and I run down the pavement, I promise you I've been hit by a car door on the passenger side, or on the driver's side, depending on what side of the road it is,

because people don't look. So it's not just cyclists it affects, it affects walkers and runners. And I've been knocked to the ground on more than one occasion by it. What about a DeLorean? Yeah, that's the answer. I mean, that's the answer I mean that's the answer

let's pressure car manufacturers to make vertical doors yeah vertical doors luckily just to follow up because I can tell you you're concerned about my state of my well-being

there Pete as a way you just brush over it I'm never ever going fast enough for it to actually hurt me so it's actually fine of course with cyclists

they're normally going a lot faster it's a lot more dangerous yeah I was just thinking what Dutch Reach could possibly mean in another context. If I said to you... If you could speculate as to what a Dutch reach was.

Yeah. If I said to you, Dutch reach, explain to me what it is. Someone... Masturbating another man. Masturbating a man, but using... But going from between the legs. From behind. I don't think I've ever seen that.

Like somebody put an arm, hand... I think we've got the picture. In between the legs, but from buttock to front, and then doing that. They're delivering a scrotal injury from that. Yeah, I mean, yeah. And the scrotal sack would nestle in the crook of the arm. That magnet, I want to see that.

Album artwork for next week's show. Me and you. It's only slightly related to this. My grandad used to be able to crack walnuts on his bicep. Nice. Yeah? Nice. So there was a nut resting in a crook of an arm.

Magnificent. Shall we smash out a quick Adam Hess? What's that? Shall we give Adam Hess a real Dutch reach? Hello, lads. Emailing from Toronto with all key super heavy duties. I can't speak this week. Sorry.

Wanted to make an addition to the show's growing dictionary of words without translation from the language of Finnish. The world is... Here we go. The word is... Can't say word. Can't say word. The word is... Here we go. The word is... Can't say word. Can't say word. The word is...

Kalsarikanit. Yeah. Kalsarikanit. I reckon the R will probably be rolled on that one. What do you reckon? Kalsarikanit. I can't roll my R,

so it's impossible for me to know. Rolling R's is really important, I've noticed, in European languages. I'm more fond of stag do soon to Budapest, and I don't want to be a usual Englishman in Budapest, so I'm trying to learn a couple of words.

Kirlik is please, and other words like that. Kusunom is thank you, and I'll just try to get a couple of things. But the rolling of the R's is so important

in European languages. I think... Bulgarians are mad. But Pete, I think that learning a few words is worse than not having any.

I know. Because it invites people to start going, oh, he speaks Dutch so here we go and you get into a load more awkward situations that in the first instance

you're trying to avoid. Yeah, but I mean if you're just asking for a carrier bag, a tashka, if you will, I just try, just,

just, just, I know where, no, in Hungarian, I know, like, I know where the toilet is

and everything in most places I've been. Sorry, I don't know why I said that. From Mr. Toilet Room to Hachangshu Odeo in Korean to Toirewa Doktaskar in Japanese. Everywhere I go, I just learn misty toilet room to hachang shu audio in Korean to Japanese

everywhere I go I just learn where's the toilet because that's the one thing you need I know what it is in Spanish Los Servicios

Los Servicios in Istanbul the public toilets have exactly the toilets have two separate types of toilet

one to satisfy the Asian way of going to the toilet and the Asian way of going to the toilet, and the European way of going to the toilet. Oh, is that right? Okay. Because it is, I guess, the gateway, isn't it? Oh, and actually, after you do this, and before we go into Mankata, I've got an update on the Doomsday thing.

Oh, nice. So, Kalsarakanit. Yeah, Kalsarakanit. Kalsarakanit means the feeling when you are going to get drunk at home, alone, in your underwear, with no intention of going out. Or in your case, Pete, Friday. Life. I don't drink at home, so actually I tell a lie. I do have a bottle of Campari

that I'm piling my way through. My God. And I had it. I didn't have any Sprite. I didn't have any soda water so I had it with milk a couple of years ago. Not too bad. Not as bad as you'd imagine. I mean, the amount of stuff we get through on this show, it's actually remarkable that neither of us think about the other imagine I mean the amount of stuff we get through on this show it's actually remarkable

that neither of us think about the other this is the kind of stuff I don't want to be associating with but that is definitely one of them Campari and milk

and can I also put it out there you put it in beer in Japan not being able to trust yourself to have a beer or two or a glass of wine

at home is deviant behaviour dangerous what about trusting it's just you know it's indicative of a wider problem when I was in the US before Christmas,

I brewed my own beer. Did I tell you that? Oh, did you? Yeah, I think I might have mentioned it. Did you do that thing where, I remember her reading about a wanky, bloody little microbrewery, a bloke made some yeast out of his beard hair.

Ugh. How is that even possible? Disgusting. You make yeast out of anything that's a bit dirty, can't you? Horrible. Bloody horrible. I don't like to even consider that.

I don't either. Oh, my words. Shall we take a short break? We'll be back after this? Yeah. Yeah. Always too quiet. Always too quiet.

What I need to do is every time I adjust the volume to fade the music out at the start of the show, I need to do is every time I adjust the volume to fade the music out at the start of the show, I need to do a Dutch reach for the volume and turn it back up again. Welcome back. Welcome back. Pete, I think people, or I know for a fact, because I've seen emails and tweets about it,

that people find it very endearing that you always mock that up. Well, exactly. Before the break, and before we go into Ben Carter and this words show, and I suppose this sort of does count a little bit because our catch-all terms are quite vague. Last week, you'd have remembered,

I found the Doomsday book type thing on the BBC website. And it was buggered. Do you think I need to really explain again what it is? They sliced up the UK into small quadrants. In 1986? In 1986. And each quadrant, they got some people from the town to explain what their town was like.

Is that right? Yeah. And then they uploaded it. What life was like in their town, and they uploaded it to the website. Yeah, and so the idea being that a thousand years ago, whatever, William the Conqueror had a doomsday book which basically talked about the state of the country at that time.

They wanted to replicate that in 1986. They did that by inviting over a million people to contribute their local area stories about what life was like in the UK in 1986. Was this a BBC initiative? A BBC initiative. In 2011, it was uploaded to the internet to commemorate the 25th anniversary of the project of course in 1986

last week I wasn't fully adept on how to work the website because it was a new thing and I only really learned about it on the way into the studio so I freestyled, I got caught out luckily my scrotum remained intact and it wasn't a disaster but this week I'm fully armed

with what's been going on in where I was from in 1986 and where i was from in 1986 right and where you were from in 1986 oh cool would you like hartlepool or would you like a gospel let's go with well let's do them both but let's go with gospel first okay cool so gospel first um it's a photo of stubbington village square right it's a little village um near where i grew up in 1986 which practically looks the same although there is a Budgins there where there is now a Costa so you can't stop the relentless progression

can you? You can still get Budgins though True, there's a lovely picture of Hillhead Harbour that someone's contributed and there is a picture of some farm workers working in a field that is particularly well known for its strawberries and that is still there, you can still go back there in 2018 and pick strawberries.

Yeah, so not much has changed as expected. Not even the clothes, to be honest, in Gosport. Hartlepool Peak. Now, this is where it gets pretty interesting because last week you mentioned the very idea that, and this is something quite interesting because it links both you and I. Right.

You mentioned HMS Warrior. Yes. Which was, I presume, rebuilt in Hartlepool? It was reconditioned. It was repainted, restructured, I think, in Hartlepool. And it was like the big story. I remember growing up in Hartlepool and it being a big deal. Right.

Oh, my God. Look at that gorgeous masthead. Yeah. Look at that. Look at those beautiful, look at that beautiful deck and you could go on and walk around. It was that

and the Wingfield Castle as well. And then they set it down at Portsmouth, a place I'd never been or I thought, I'm never going to know anyone from Portsmouth.

Couldn't be further away, couldn't be further away. Were you thinking it's the first ironclad warship? I was thinking it was the first ironclad warship.

Yeah, well, you'd be right. First thing that comes up on the Doomsday Reloaded section of the BBC website for Hartlepool in 1986, HMS Warrior, the first ironclad warship, being rebuilt at the coal dock in Hartlepool, and once it is finished, it is planned to move it to Portsmouth.

Literally the last good thing Hartlepool was involved in. Donaldson? I think that's perfectly fair, and anyone who lives in Hartlepool would agree. Canoe Man? The Tall Ships Race. Does that go from there? It was there

about four years ago, I think. We got a visit. Got a beautiful marina. Anyway, so, interestingly enough, the HMS Warwick did end up in Portsmouth.

Now, I had no idea that it came to Portsmouth that late. I thought it had just always been there because Portsmouth's got a rich maritime history, of course.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's interesting for me. As does Hartlepool big ship building town and the other things that are my dad works in a shipyard he used to do at school

and he ships all day and he ships all day yeah ours was my dad's a vanker and he vanks all day banker wanker

anyway one of the same elders my dad is not a banker but he is a wanker but he frequently masturbates my dad is a legend banker. But he is a wanker. But he frequently masturbates. My dad is a legend. He's a lovely chap.

Anyway, we've heard all about your dad. So the other pictures available on the Doomsday Reloaded part of the website for Hartlepool, United Bus Station. Is it still called the United Bus Station? Is there a picture? The United Bus... Oh, no, that's not there anymore. I wonder where that was. Hartlepool's only bus station belongs to the United Bus... Oh, no, that's not there anymore. I wonder where that was. Hartlepool's only bus station belongs to the United Bus Company,

used by United, National Bus Company and Trimden Motor Services. Trimden Motor Services. Actually, that might have been up Old Hartlepool or something. It might not even be... I don't know why they're so proud about their bloody bus stops, though. And the final one is York Road, Hartlepool. Yeah. The Hartlepool shopping area.

This is the main shopping street of the town. It has small shops, takeaways, and building societies, etc. It does building societies. It's really, really dull, isn't it? It really is. I mean, because Portsmouth and Gosport's history... That's where my dad works now, that building. Oh, there we go, then.

He's a kind of admin support guy. That's a pub. That is a flat-root pub. It's a pub, isn't it? It used to be a pub, then. Oh, yeah, did you? No, it's a pub. That is a flat route pub. It's a pub, isn't it? It used to be a pub then. Oh yeah, did you?

No, it's Northern Rock. So he works above it in a solicitor's firm. Oh, that old bus. Look at that old

bus. I remember those buses. Was your dad responsible for the Northern Rock run on the bank? No,

he mainly deals in wills and testaments. Not testaments, which is wills. Just wills. He delivers wills to the court. The Oldaments, which is wills. Just wills. He delivers wills to the court. That's right, the Old Testament.

So what I would love is for people to go onto the Doomsday section of the website, on the BBC website. I think it's BBC website forward slash history, forward slash Doomsday. You can probably Google it. I'm sure you can. And find out what was going on in 1986 in your town. And if it's of particular interest,

hello at lukeandpeachshow.com and we'll maybe find the best parts of it because there's a load of old crap on there based on our towns and see what we can come up with

anyway that's the much needed conclusion to the erroneous end to the doomsday reloaded part of last week's show look that's a very

underestimated picture you just showed me I can't believe that bus. I sort of remember those buses from my youth, but there's kind of like cream and purple, kind of burgundy kind of coloured buses.

I've not seen one of those buses for some time and I'd forgotten about them. So that picture was actually quite emotionally important for me. I feel like the buses we had in Gosport were green, maybe. Incredible. Incredible. What colour are they in London? No one knows.

Subject of much debate. The trains from Hartlepool to Newcastle are little diesel jobs, but they are converted buses. The carriages are converted buses. They certainly started out life in the 40s, I think. They converted a lot of buses. The carriages are converted buses or they certainly started out life in the 40s I think. They converted a lot of buses to, they just

put them on suspension, put them on rails. And they run on tracks, yeah. And they run on tracks. Incredible.

Incredible. Isn't it incredible? You could make Newcastle in about half an hour if they weren't such

terrible trains. It's dreadful. I bet it's about 50p, is it? No, it's really expensive. It's like

seven quid. Crazy, crazy amount of money. Oh well, never mind. Before you 50p, is it, a journey? No, it's really expensive. It's like seven quid. Crazy, crazy amount of money. Oh, well, never mind. Before you move on, very quickly, and this might be boring, but I'm going to gamble. Gamble. A huge part of the transport ecosystem where I grew up is obviously between Gosport and Portsmouth is the ferry.

Yes. The ferry in between, across the harbour, because it's much easier. As they say on the ferries themselves, it's shorter by water. It's shorter by water. Otherwise you have to drive all the way around the harbour. Yeah. And that has got ridiculously expensive. It used to be £1.40

when I left to move to London, and it's now £3.80. Just to get across the harbour? Yeah, it's like a five minute journey. That is ridiculous. It's a monopoly, mate. The hovercraft to ride is, I think, 20 quid? It's a hovercraft, isn't it? That's badass. And it's to an actual island, which is a decent four or five miles away, I think.

No, probably less than that, three miles. Badass. But think of this quandary that I'm in, though, Pete. If I'm still living in Gosport and I want to get the ferry to ride from Portsmouth, I've got to go across the harbour. Oh, so you've got to go... It doesn't come from Gosport, it goes from Portsmouth. Uh-oh. Yeah. Well, don't live in Gosport and I want to get the ferry to ride from Portsmouth, I've got to go across the harbour. Oh. It doesn't come from Gosport, it goes from Portsmouth.

Uh-oh. Yeah. Well, don't live in Gosport. Just try and develop some basic appreciation of the geography of my area. That's all I'm saying. Get yourself a little jet ski.

I should. I should do. Get it right across. The sheer amount of people who must have tried to swim back across the harbour drunk must be staggering. It must be staggering.

I wouldn't be surprised if on a Friday and Saturday night there's a permanent coast guard in there yeah just sort of go don't do that someone always drowns in the time every year

right it's bloody freezing I mean it was fairly unequivocal when we had people come to our school and talk about that and they would just literally say

just don't do it don't do it because you will die it's not like oh you could be seriously injured you will be dead it's almost like

Super Mario World you're dead you're dead if you go in the water you're dead unless it's an underwater level. Unless it's underwater level, guys.

And to make it clear that you don't get three lives. There's only one. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do. Shall we have a jingle for, um, for, uh, what's it called,

uh, Mankata? All right, then let's do that. Let there be justice for all. Let there be full volume. Let there be peace for all. And for all there's. Let there be peace for all.

It's one small step for man. You don't understand. Willie was a salesman. Say simply, very simply, with hope, good morning. Good morning. As Nelson Mandela once famously said, do not swim across Portsmouth Harbour. Do not do that.

Somebody got in touch, I think I spoke about the nuclear expert last week, about the elephant's foot in Chernobyl. It's the thing that just haunts my very dreams. Terrifies me. But apparently a couple of pictures were taken with robots. Oh, okay, that makes sense. Remote control robots.

Are you a robot if you're remote controlled? Probably not. Just remote control. Oh, okay. That makes sense. Remote control robots. Are you a robot if you're remote controlled? Probably not. Just remote control crime. Are you okay? Malfunction. I've just realised

that because I didn't scroll down enough on my preparation running order document here, there's loads of stuff we haven't covered that we were supposed to, so we're going to do it

next week. Well, never mind. We'll squeeze that in next week. That's fine. Do you want to do it for a car this week? Yeah.

I've been doing a lot of talking today. Do you want me to do it? Because I'm, never mind. We'll squeeze that in next week. That's fine. Do you want to do a Mankata this week? Yeah. Because I've been doing a lot of talking today. Do you want me to do it? Because I'm such a great wordsmith. Okay. I don't know if the listeners will agree, but I'll do it. No, definitely not. Okay, Mankata. This is quite an interesting one.

It comes from Paul. It doesn't give his second name because Pete didn't include it when he sent it to me. But that's okay. Paul, you will know who you are. You are almost certainly the only man called Paul who sent an email of this nature to us this week. He starts off as all good emails should start off. Hello, chaps. Omni remotes in my TV remote.

Pretty standard stuff. I don't know if I've seen an Omni remote. I think I have yet. Omni remote. Okay. Omnicom we've seen. Oh. Omni remote.

So maybe he meant Omnicom. I don't know. He says, anyway, after listening to you guys discuss some crazy statues of the world I thought I'd share two statue related stories from my time spent in the former Yugoslavia

back in 2016 this is actually only one story because I cut one off right just space and time guys I thought I'd share one statue related story

from my time spent in former Yugoslavia back in 2016 Paul Peter's decided your second statue wasn't of interest. No, they were all... You can't have two statues.

Some of the emails he sends to me are very, very poor. So the standard of your second statue must have been very, very low indeed. Anyway, in the war-torn city of Mostar, Bosnia, there are still a huge number of buildings that are essentially rubble. While enjoying some food one day and looking out at the city's historic bridge, the waiter told me to make sure I go and see the Bruce Lee statue. I half laughed it off, but

a few hours later, someone else mentioned it, so I found myself in Zrinski Park, looking at a statue of Bruce Lee. My favourite facts about this statue are as follows. It is four centimetres shorter than Bruce Lee himself. Now, I don't think that's fair.

What's that about? That's very strange, isn't it? Yeah. Four centimetres shorter. It was unveiled one day before his 65th birthday, the day on which a Bruce Lee statue in Hong Kong was to be unveiled. Chronological undercutting.

I mean, talk about undercutting it. One day before, they're going to open one up in Mostar. Yeah, very, very odd. And Croats have complained, apparently, that the aggressive stance is directed at them, as Bruce is facing in the direction of areas heavily

populated with Croats, which tells you something about the ethnic divisions that still exist in the area. I've seen multiple reasons given as to why Bruce Lee was chosen. The most convincing is that he represents ethnic diversity as a successful American of Chinese descent, but the bizarre nature of it still amuses me to this day.

All the best, Paul. Now, we love a statue on this show. If you're going to put a statue-related suggestion into the Menkata, we're probably invariably going to choose it at some point. But this statue I've seen in Mostar is actually quite poor.

It's not great. And I'll tell you partly why it might not seem great is because the one in Hong Kong is amazing. If you look at the one in Hong Kong, I don't know, I've not been to Hong Kong, I don't know it well geographically at all, but it's right

on the waterfront, on like a boardwalk, and it's beautifully bronze, and it's a very, very accurate likeness of him in like full high kick pose. Is it on the Kowloon side, or is it on the Hong Kong side? I don't know, Pete, I don't know, I've not been there, but it's amazing, so that might be why. And I also did some further reading, because

either Paul didn't do any further reading, or Pete cut it before he sent it to me. But it's supposed to symbolise the fight against ethnic divisions, apparently. Right, OK. That was the reason given. But he's aggressively attacking the... The Croats, yeah. If you find yourself on your travels, do seek out a statue.

We love a statue. What's one of your famous town statues? I always get annoyed about the fact that the Hartlepool monkey myth, they always have a chimpanzee when it's depicted. Red Smythe, the creator of Andy Capp, is from Hartlepool. Is there a statue of him?

There's a statue of, not Red Smythe, but a statue of Andy Capp. Right. A wife beating drunk. Right, yeah. I don't know if there are any. I think there might be one of an admiral of the fleet. Because there's a Falklands Gardens in Gosport. Right.

I think a lot of the soldiers and all the rest of it who fought in the Falklands War sailed from there. And so there's a memorial garden on the Gosport side for the Falklands War. And there's definitely a couple of memorials and a flower garden on the Gosport side for the Falklands War and there's definitely a couple of memorials and a flower garden and all the rest of it

but there might be a statue of the Admiral at the time or something like that but beyond that I don't know of anything Nor Weston's kicking around I don't think so

no I don't actually know where Simon Weston's from so there you go I want to say a big hello to should we smash out some names to finish up

because they're always fun aren't they? The names... Simon Weston was Welsh, by the way. I'll just check for you. All right. You always got your fingers on the button. There you go, mate.

The button of your keyboard. I think when you're talking, I'd rather just keep myself busy. Chris is an American in Beijing. This isn't going into Mencarta, but it's just a couple of fun names. I'm currently listening to episode 33, where you read the email about English

names for kids in, uh, ESL classes. Oh yeah. Yeah. Language. Um, uh,

no, it's Teflon, isn't it? What are we talking about? English, basically English classes. Uh, I live in Beijing and taught English here for about a month before I realized

that it was a horrible job, but I still have some friends that do it. And there's some pretty great names, uh, that I experienced during my short time as a teacher. Here are some of my favourites Dinosaur

a kid called taking the name Dinosaur that's brilliant and everyone else would call him Dinosaur Captain America

brilliant Optimus Prime Monkey Run Run and my personal favourite Autism where's he got

that from where's he got Autism from it's so endearing isn't it that's not endearing I can imagine Pete you would be And my personal favourite, autism. Where's he got that from? That's what I was about to say. Where's he got autism from? It's so endearing, isn't it? That's not endearing. I can imagine, Pete, you would be in your element in doing that teaching English as a foreign language and giving out kids' names, English names.

You'd be in your element. Hard work, wasn't it? Teaching kids, good Lord. Where's the other ones? I had some more of these. Oh, here we go. James basically gives us a bit of information about Thai names. Thai names are usually bestowed upon people by local monks, apparently,

and typically done so a little while after the child's birth. And to fill the gap and to make the kid's name more palatable in everyday life, every Thai child is given a nickname, usually by their parents. Common nicknames range from one, for the firstborn, Nung in Thai, and two is Song in Thai Moo, literally meaning pig is a common name given to chubby kids Pig That's harsh

Sweet, yes, but this name sticks with them through the rest of their lives Imagine that Other such common names are Benz, after the car a real sign of prestige and wealth However, recent technological booms have seen an upturn in the name iPhone and iPad.

A friend of mine called their kid tennis because they like to play tennis. The real Thai names are usually very long and very tricky for us Westerners to pronounce. However, I have had several kids who have genuine Thai names, Titty Porn and Kitty Porn. This is quite good.

Porn is a suffix used in Thai that means wealth. Imagine that being your real name and your nickname being Pig. Pond. Pig. Just wow. Fantastic. James, that's box office, mate. The two things that's reminding me of, one is that

do you know the punk artist Gigi Allen? Yes. Horrendous chap. He loved his heroin. Yeahrendous chap. He loved his heroin. Yeah, he did. Bloody loved his heroin, didn't he? His father, who I believe was quite mentally unstable, registered him as Jesus Christ Allen. And it got shortened to Gigi Allen.

Because, I mean, you can't walk around with the name Jesus Christ. And I'm fairly certain there was like a Thai boxer or a Thai kickboxer whose name was Ratanopal Dutch Boy Jim. Ratanopal Dutch Boy Jim? Yeah. Magnificent. Yeah. That's something

to be celebrated. Jim as in G-Y-M. Oh, right. Dutch Boy Jim. So I guess it was something to do with him looking Dutch and maybe being in the gym all the time.

I don't know. I don't know anything about it but I remember that name. It's always stuck with me. I didn't realise that Gigi Allen was called Jesus Christ Allen. Yeah.

Amazing. There's a famous picture of him in his casket isn't there where people just put heroin and stuff on his body yeah I think that to change

that to anonymise is great I think because people just come around just being horrible to it do me a favour don't ever do emails

outside the email section again I'm so sorry I'm the Gigi Allen of email reading you're so punk. Right that's it. That's it we're out of stuff.

Yeah. That's it. I'm doing a poo on stage. Get in touch with us hello at Luke and Pete show dot com. As ever we rely on

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good night we legally can't say that oh yeah we're not we're not we're not that what we just said