The Luke and Pete Show - Episode 4: I Didn't Go Down to the Lightning Strike Bureau

Episode Date: June 26, 2017

Why are a group of local men trying to find millions of missing rubles in a disused rocket mine in Russia? Why are loads of sheep knocking about an island off of the coast of Scotland with cardboard wings on their back?And how would Pete and his annoying older brother Luke survive if the world ended, and what skills would they need? PS We also talk about nut allergies and getting hit by lightning, so there's that. Thinking about it, we packed a lot into this one.Say hello: [e-mail] And how are we still hearing about animals being used in war? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This music always makes you want to rap over it, but I won't, because I can't. Pete Donaldson with you, joined by Luke Mill. Welcome to the Luke and Pete show. Not to be confused with Luke and Pete's shoe, which is the house in which we live. We live in a big shoe. Yeah. Luke, do you reckon my shoes could fit inside your shoes? Probably.

Maybe we should try that out later on. I don't think I've ever seen a shoe within a shoe. I've heard it's all about the multimedia these days, so maybe we'll upload a video of you doing that. Yeah. Alongside the long egg man from last week. And we can check out. I don't think they will.

What size are you? I am size 8 I'm 10 so probably not although these vans might be 11 so they come up short and mine are quite faulty

yeah I don't think so these shoes are disgusting I need some replacements they're those Toms where they give a pair to some equally

unfashionable Ethiopians or something they are going nowhere near my shoes they smell they smell so bad it's episode four of the Luke and Pete show

aka Luke and Pete Summer. Yes, thank you for joining us again. Last week was very food based. Very food heavy. We had long eggs. We had Buzz Aldrin. We did. He didn't eat anything.

I think he was the only non-food related item. But after that show We could eat Buzz Aldrin if we wanted to. After that food based show which we hadn't planned but it just came out that way

I went home and picked up a snack in Whole Foods. Right. After that food-based show, which we hadn't planned, but it just came out that way, I went home and picked up a snack in Whole Foods. Right. On the way home, just right near the studio. And I'd not really been in there before, and I thought, I'll pop in there.

And I bought myself a donut. Coconut and mandarin custard donut. Oh, my God. What are you doing? What sorcery is this? It was delicious. No word of a lie. And I wish I'd kept the receipt.

Guess how much it was? One donut. One donut in Whole Foods at £2.50. £3.50. Oof! Imagine that. Oof! No word of a lie.

I got to the counter, and there's about five people behind me, and she said £3.50, and I was like, as much as that? I was like, I can't not take it. As I live and breathe. You clearly don't go in Whole Foods very often, and also, to be honest, they probably protect their premiums because I go in there and on the hot food counter, I always hide an entire cod underneath some salads.

Stop it. Some salads. Stop it. A raw one as well. £3.50. I almost said to her, I've got to get my debit card out, man. I've only got a pound on me. Incredible.

But anyway, it's episode episode four Luke and Pete Summer A.K.A Luke and Pete Show People are getting confused About the name Don't Don't worry about it If you're going to ask the question About which one it is

The answer is It's bloody well both Deal with it Deal with it I call it the Pete and Luke show Anyway You do Don't care

You recorded the whole trailer for it Where you got the Pete and Luke The wrong way around Yes I did I made you redo it And you did it And I couldn't kind of Reverse it with a computer Because it sounded stupid i was like going pete and luke sure look at pete

all right let's get on with the show shall we um it's time for uh a feature that is so uh lovely and wonderful and it's been oh it's too quiet it's been there we, it's too quiet. It's been... There we go. One week since we did it. Yeah. Do you want to do it properly? There we go. It's been... One... No, you guys say one week.

Okay, go on. It's been... One week since we did this section. Yes. Yeah. You can do your impression. That's what you do it for. It's been...

Oh, no. It... I'm full of cod. It's been... Oh, my God. I've lost it. Your voice has changed in a week. You know you hear this story about people... I've got puberty. So, this'm full of cod. Yeah, spit. Oh, my God, I've lost it. Your voice has changed in a week. You know you hear this story about people.

I've got puberty. So this happens all the time. This has got me excited. I'll tell you why. Because you see reunion tours of recording artists from the 60s or 70s. And they can't hit the high notes. No. And it happened famously with the Led Zeppelin reunion for the anniversary.

They did a one-off show. And they had, I think, Zach Starkey drumming instead of the late, great John Bonham. And from what I've heard, I wasn't there. Couldn't get a ticket. They were about £2,000 each. Couldn't get one. Wasn't going to get one for that price anyway. But anyway, apparently, apparently, Robert Plant,

if rumours are to be believed, did nowhere near the high notes. Did nowhere go near them. Oh, really? I guess they just rearranged it. Yeah. Yeah, because he does a lot of sort of folky blues type singing now, doesn't he? Yeah.

Anyway, so you... Fantastic. That took fucking 30 years. I know. Your voice has gone in a week. I've basically done Simon Le Bon at Livehead where he just... Wow, boys, wow, boys.

Never lose it! Are you about to get on a Concord and go and do it in New York? Yeah. Like Phil Collins? Oh, man. Oh, well. It's been...

It's been... That's not bad. Not, well. It's been. It's been. That's not bad. Even though that's the only reason we had that jingling in the first place. It's a bit of a letdown. But anyway, it's been, for some reason, relates to our show and tell section.

Yeah. The things that have been floating in our boat this week. What have we been looking at this week, then? You go first, Donny. All right, then. I've got another YouTube video. Oh, here we go.

Because my life is video. This video you've got in front of you, it started off, Luke, to be honest, it in front of you, start it off, Luke. To be honest, it's all in Russian, so it doesn't really matter what we do. Okay. Yeah, okay. A man by the name of Sergei...

I don't know what this is. Just crazy, wacky music. Here we go. The title of the video is Soviet Billions in a Rocket Mine. So, a man by the name uh sergio volkov not the um cosmonauts no we talked about cosmonauts yesterday uh last week last week yeah how many other shows are you doing are you seeing other podcasters yeah basically um it's this guy who knows his

onions and he told a group of russian bloggers about a huge amount of money buried in a small village 100 kilometers from st peters Basically, when the Soviet Union fell, the government had to get rid of the old Soviet rubles and introduce, obviously, a new currency. Burning it seemed like a bad idea, so what they did was they just basically buried it in an old rocket mine outside of St Petersburg, 100 miles out of St Petersburg.

So we are currently watching... 100 kilometres or 100 miles? All right, 100 kilometres. If I want to go there, I'm going to be way out. I'll be 30 miles out of St. Petersburg. So we are currently watching... 100 kilometres or 100 miles? All right, 100 kilometres. But if I want to go there, I'm going to be way out. I'll be 30 miles out. Why would you need a load of old Soviet rubles? Don't know. We'll worry about that later.

Well, basically, we're watching a lot of men in the beautiful Russian countryside. So there's a chicken. Doesn't look nice. Who doesn't like a chicken? That's a very... That's a ruble-sniffing chicken. A ruble-sniffing chicken.

Leads him in the right direction. So here the guys are, they're interviewing two... Local villagers. Two local villagers, two old ladies. Babushka. I got babushka, that's all I got. But basically, the villagers are explaining that they've never been to the Rocket Mine, they didn't realise there was so much money hidden in the old money, unusable money, hidden in the wilderness.

But what they did say was that you're not allowed to go near the Rocket Mine because there's an incredible amount of radiation. And somebody, apocryphally, it turns out, a bloke went out and took a brick from said Rocket Mine, brought it home, made a little stove out of this brick, and he died of radiation. That didn't happen, though, no? No, that didn't happen. No. That was just a lie. A bare-faced lie.

A good story to keep people away from all that money. Get away from the rocket mine, guys. Presumably that money is no longer legal tender anyway. No, exactly. It doesn't really matter. It's quite amazing. I'm just looking at it now. There is an incredible amount of money there.

It's like a whole lake of money. It really is. So this video is just... We'll stick it on the Luke and Pete show at Twitter. But it's basically the story of three or four men basically traipsing through the Russian wilderness near St. Petersburg. 100 kilometres. Could be 100 miles.

I don't know. And they're trying to find this rocket mine. The main problem they have is that they're not wearing adequate footwear. The reason this is fascinating is because this is one of those rare situations we're like an old wives tell apocryphal town is actually comes true yeah yeah it's like dreamer when they found a load of they found the place where Atari buried all those eat I remember that the worst game ever or so it's dreadful they

actually dug out they were there only game I've ever completed. I'm joking, I've never completed. Imagine that when your favourite game. They're having problems with their wellies. You idiots. So, Pete, I'm not going to sit... I mean, I'll be honest, I am interested in this, but I'm not going to sit through 12 minutes of it. So what happens at the end?

Let's skip to the end. Skip to the end. Oh, yeah, I can do that on YouTube. Come on. I forgot about that. Yeah. I thought I'd have to wait until next week. So they finally find what we're looking at here, Luke.

Huge amounts of sort of dilapidated, sort of badly damaged notes. Can I have interest? How much is this... Sorry. How much is this actually worth? Stop pointing at the screen and hitting your microphone. Basically, it would be $33 million in our money.

Are you being serious? It's a billion rubles and all, but it would have been $33 million. But it's of no value at all now. No, exactly. But it's fascinating to see that amount of old cash just lying around. Because it said it was a rocket mine. They're actually just dumped in the wilderness, just big piles of cash in the middle of nowhere. presumably at the end of the so before the soviet

union people knew the game was up or whatever and they knew this money wasn't going to be worth this they just got rid of it well but yeah apparently just a lot of lorries just dropped it off in the middle of nowhere and they didn't want to burn it because it's bad for the environment they didn't want to sort of bury well they didn't want to kind of um dissolve it in acid and stuff like that because that would have been about it for your environment just chucked it you got wonder like should people burn paper all the time what wasn't that what wasn't that money that was so horrible it seems like an odd decision yeah i mean it reminds me of um that is fascinating by the way that's really really good uh that reminds me of a book that my dad bought

my dad loves a car boot sale does your dad love a car boot sale uh no because we're not natural hagglers the donaldsons no i love. I love walking around because you always find an old bit of computing. Yeah. But, yeah. My dad basically loves a car boot sale. Right. Is he a haggler? A little bit, yeah.

Right. He doesn't go every weekend, but he'll get up early when he wants to go and he'll go. And car boot sales are ideal for men of advancing years, aren't they? Because they're always on like 8 o'clock in the morning. That's where he bets bargains. Yeah, exactly. And he loves it. And anyway, so at one point he bought a book.

It wasn't even like a book. He thought, oh, this might be valuable. It was just a book he was interested in. I can't even remember what it was about. But anyway, as we were flicking through it when he got home, it had a perfectly preserved, really old banknote in it. Oh, right. OK.

And it turned out to be a Bulgarian banknote. Fantastic. Yeah, from years and years ago. And I did a bit of research around it on the internet. I might have even tweeted it at the time. It was a number of years ago now. But it turned out not to be worth anything. But at one point I thought, oh my God.

This is going to be the most incredible discovery. Have you ever had an underwhelming collection? My dad, because he was in the Navy, he had a pretty extensive coin collection. Right. Threw it in the bin after a while. I had it for a bit. That's a shame.

For some reason, it got taken off me and thrown in the bin. The thing is, I've never really collected stuff. I don't have the patience for it. No, same. But the thing with that note is that after a while when I found out clearly that the writing was on the wall

and it wasn't worth anything, I was a bit disappointed. I tore it up. Because I would have stolen it off him. But then I realised, actually, it's still a great story. I mean, how did that note even get there? The book has nothing to do with Bulgaria. Do you know what I mean?

But the note was in there. Maybe the book was owned by a Bulgarian. Not quite. It could have been anything. And that's the beauty of it. That's the beauty of things found in books. Just read more, kids. Stay in school.

You don't even know what the book's about. I can't remember. Stay in school. Stay in books. Just read more, kids. You don't even know what the book is about. I can't remember. Stay in school. Stay in school. I used to occasionally collect stamps as well, because I am literally Walter the Softie from Down to the Menace. But the most delicious stamps were the Czechoslovakian ones. Were they?

They just had this weird kind of bitter glue on the back that, oh, it's still very evocative. So did you collect stamps? I might buy some really old Czechoslovakian stamps just to lick them. But hang on a minute, when you collect stamps, are you supposed to lick them? No, but I was nine.

Okay, so let me just get this right. So, when you were nine, you were, as we learnt last week, in and out of hospital with asthma, collecting stamps. Yeah, we're getting a picture here. I'm playing video games. Yep. Okay. Didn't all like football our girls

I was eating mushrooms and making myself shit what a pair what a pair we're both on children's world you are getting your stomach pumped I'm getting me lung pumped disgusting

lung pumped I know what this show's the stuff that comes out looks exactly the same grey I know what this show's being lung pumpers good band great band good punk band yeah what have you got for us this week That looks exactly the same. Grey. I know what this show's being called. Lung pumpers. Good band.

Great band. Good punk band. What have you got for us this week? It's been... Do you want to hit the button? I don't get it. I think we've had enough. Yes!

Okay, I'll get half of it. I would like to talk to you guys about, and it's not entirely dissimilar to what we just talked about, and you'll see why in a minute, nuclear testing. Oh, good. Che testing, I want to talk about. Oh, good. Cheery. I'll tell you why. Brilliant.

From mushrooms to mushroom clouds. A trove of footage. I like that. It's good. A trove of footage from early US nuclear weapons tests has just been declassified and uploaded to YouTube by a scientist at the Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory, physicist Greg Spriggs.

He wanted to digitise and preserve these thousands of films documenting the nation's nuclear history because I think he wanted people to learn lessons of it and see how big the destruction was. It was uploaded. I saw it online, blogs.discovermagazine.com. Discover Magazine is interesting, actually. Anyway, these nuclear weapons were tested

predominantly in Nevada in the US or in an atoll or two in the Pacific. Nuclear testing is, of course, now illegal under a certain, well, two different treaties, and the US hasn't conducted a test since 1991, but of course... We know what we're doing. You don't integrate. Other nations obviously have since then. There's been 2,053 nuclear explosions in total including the two on Hiroshima

and Nagasaki, of course. The videos are stunning in their bleakness. It's essentially a camera set up a long way away from I would show you one on YouTube now, Pete, but there's no sound on them anyway of these different types of explosions and them exploding just above the

ground. As far as I'm aware, they don't explode on the ground, they explode just above them ground and i think so as far as my way i don't i don't explode on the ground they explode just above them i've been the one in uh i've been to hiroshima grounds where the yeah they always um explode above where they need to explode but it was actually a guy who um was wasn't blown up but he was affected he was in um hiroshima yeah made his way to nagasaki when they dropped the second one nagasaki was second wasn't it either way he started in one town when the bomb got dropped, missed out on dying there, and I think he died on the second explosion.

There's a list of a handful of confirmed people, there's 20 or so of them who've confirmed to have been involved in both. Yeah. Because I think there was a lot of commuting between two cities, is that right? Yeah, they're not a million miles away from each other. Anyway, so this led me on to reading up

about all this sort of stuff, and it really is staggering, back in that sort of vibe of scientific achievement and discovery we talked about in terms of the Apollo 11 missions last week. I got looking at this. Have you heard of something called the Tsar Bomber? No. T-S-A-R-B-O-M-B-A, Tsar Bomber.

Right. It's the largest ever man-made explosion in history, which was detonated in 1961 by the Soviets on a place called Severny Island which is about 400km north of the Russian mainland. I mean, to be fair, they've got enough space, Russia, haven't they?

To blow shit up. Well, you say that, but the reason I wanted to bring this in today is because the numbers and the scale of this is absolutely unbelievable like this is the largest ever man-made explosion clearly a nuclear explosion but from this bomb called the czar bomber right it contained roughly 1570 times the hiroshima and nagasaki explosions combined right okay down and roll people yeah um It was supposed to be twice as powerful as that, but they couldn't find a way, or a number of reasons why it wasn't,

but one of the main ones was they couldn't find a way for the plane delivering the bomb to escape the explosion. Oh, because it was so big, right. And obviously the bombs are of a size and of a weight that they can't be put on a missile. They're too big. They were. The explosion, which at its peak reached into the mesosphere, which is essentially above the stratosphere. It's the Earth's middle atmosphere. You're talking about an explosion cloud so high that it's too high for aircraft to fly in

and only slightly lower than where spacecraft operate on. That's how big it was. Buildings were destroyed 100 kilometres away, because there was a village that had been evacuated before it was happening, luckily. And the thermal pulse, which I believe is the shockwave, was felt 170 kilometres away. For perspective,

if that bomb dropped in central London, you would have felt it in central Birmingham. That's how big it was. The plane flown by the pilot Andrei Domotsev was given a 50% chance of surviving and the plane had to be painted with a special heat reflecting white paint. And he did survive. He did survive.

He went on to have a distinguished military career. And to me... A very grey man. To me, yeah, the numbers are really unbelievable. I mean, 1570 times both Hiroshima and Nagasaki put together. I mean, that's an astonishing explosion. I think the cloud went... I can't remember the numbers of kilometres in the mesosphere, but it's something like 35 kilometres high.

It's ridiculous. It's very zero-sum, though, isn't it? It's kind of like, well, we've made this. Oh, it was absolutely that, yeah. We've made this, and nobody wins. No, of course not, yeah. It's ridiculous. Looking back on it now in today's context,

it's a ridiculous era in history. I think we all can all understand that. But it really does bring home, and I think, of course, this was probably classified at the time and all can understand that. But it really does bring home, and I think, of course, this was probably classified at the time and all that sort of stuff, but it does bring home just how close people were to... I mean, people are literally testing that. If that was happening now,

I mean, people would be losing their minds, and rightly so. Well, I do wonder how much is still in the atmosphere from that particular... Because there must be some kind of environmental impact, for crying out loud. Are you blowing up vast swathes of the environment? This Zarbomber was apparently actually really inefficient.

Essentially, it was so big that all the fallout and all the debris and everything just went miles up in the air. Oh, right, okay, yeah. And that was that. I mean, it didn't really wreak the havoc necessarily that it was supposed to do. But it just made me think that I want to talk a bit about life after the end of the world, Pete.

That's what I want to talk about with you. In that crater. We're both in that crater. What's going on? In a foxhole with you i'd rather be dead no but um do you not find it fascinating we have to procreate and make new humans oh god do we not find it like do you not find it fascinating about the sort of whatever however way it may come about whether it be a big explosion or a virus or whatever do you not

find it interesting the very prospect of life on earth after an extinction level of well i think any kind of story in in this in in this um particular sphere is always quite it's always quite self-centered isn't it's like what would i do if i was the last person on earth what would i be doing i don't mean last person i just mean when every sort of modern life has ended as we know it we might all be alive i'm just i'm just saying about how if if the constructs of society completely broke down um Because, you know, I mean, for example, the US have this designated survivor system, don't they, with their political system,

where if, for things like the State of Union Address or the Addressing of Congress or whatever, they have one guy in the chain of command because the top positions in the US are in command down from the president downwards, a designated survivor will stay away. So he can essentially enact policy if everyone is killed in some big event. Oh, the McDonald's secret sauce guys.

Well, there you go. They fly separately, don't they? Unlike the McDonald's secret menu, I can confirm that actually exists. And so it gets you thinking about that sort of stuff. The other thing which is fascinating about it is the Svalbard Global Seed Vault. Have you heard of that? That's the one that flooded recently, yeah? I think it might have done, yeah.

So the nations of the world, I guess it was a United Nations sort of initiative where they got all the local crops, local to different nations, and took replicas of them. Not replicas, but essentially copies of them and examples of them, and deposited them. They all agreed the best place to do it would be Norway,

which at the time, I guess, was voted the most stable country. Very cheap energy out there as well, obviously. Right, okay. So that might be something to do with it as well, yeah. Because I think up until that point, they had national seed banks. And because of all the conflict that was going on around the world, a lot of national seed banks were destroyed by war and civil war and all this other stuff. So they moved them all to Norway.

And the idea is that if there's a huge crop blight or a disease that wipes out all the crops and humans can't survive because we rely on it so heavily, there's 4,000 plant species now, more than 720,000 individual plastic sheathed samples to restart essentially the environment again. So people are planning for this stuff. I mean, it's fascinating. In reality, people are planning for this.

The big decision makers at the top of the world are planning for this sort of stuff. I mean, it's fascinating. In reality, people are planning for this. The big decision makers at the top of the world are planning for this sort of stuff. Well, what I would say is that I think the most heartening thing about, you know, we talk about Donald Trump, we talk about how the political machinations are kind of happening. The most heartening thing about that is

it's not even on that level. It's just the administrative future. It's just the people who, Just the people, the civil servants, who just keep this sort of thing going, keep these programmes going, because they have to. So what would be your post-apocalyptic plans? What would you do and why? And just to kick you off, my wife's friend,

she's not really a friend, more of a colleague. Has been to the apocalypse. No, well, he um I won't name him but he um has he's one of these what they call them um

survivalists yeah essentially like preppers I think they call them right okay um and no word of a lie I met him a couple times

and he had he was unbanked okay he had transferred he had changed a lot of his money into gold and silver yeah he had a decent cashier weapons

he reckons he had this might be apocryphal is he an nra member i think he probably probably was and he reckoned he had 50 years of of food right because because there's um like these um guys on the television uh they're like priests and uh they sell these stuff they sell big cans of this ungodly noodle soup and stuff like that'll keep you going forever. I wouldn't want to live. I wouldn't want to live. Ron, eat that stuff.

We know how you feel about the fetish of the ocean of food. I know, yeah, it's too much. Too much. Oh, stop bigging it up. Oh, Lin's a can of beans. No, you didn't plan, Pete. You had warning.

You had fair warning. So how do you think you would fare? Well, I think if video games are to be believed, and I think they are personally, I'd spend most of my time liberating settlements under attack from ghouls. Would you? Okay, yeah. And getting shot at by snipers. Well, a lot of people think, a lot of people have discussed this.

There's a guy called, what's his name, Max Brooks, who wrote The Zombie Survival Guide. Right, yes. And he also wrote World War Z, or Zed, or whatever it is, which was made into a movie with Brad Pitt. Brad Pitt, yeah. He sort of postulates in one of those books i've read them both actually i can't remember which one it is probably the survival guide um that he says your biggest fear and this is i guess this is like a zombie outbreak type thing a virus type thing and there's and there's humans that survive and there are these zombies um he said your biggest danger is um roaming bands of pirates essentially because it's lawless. So people automatically think,

oh, zombies, man, they're going to kill me. Or virus humans are going to kill me. But it's actually the humans you want to worry about. Because as soon as lawlessness sets in, people are out to get whatever they can. That's your biggest danger. Well, we spoke about the breakdown of the USSR and stuff. Like, people don't realise how close

civilisation, in inverted commas, are to breaking down and just kind of having that kind of situation where people are just taking because there's no laws, the police aren't getting paid, the army aren't getting paid. And that's how civilisation breaks down. It's happened in, like, countless countries, for crying out loud. And do you not think that, one of the things that shocks me, and it's a slightly different situation, and I don't mean to be insensitive by using this as an example, but it just reminded me of this, is when there were those riots in London a number of years ago, I wasn't affected by it, and I wouldn't claim to be at the time, but it was a little bit hairy for a while. One of the things that really sort of hit home to me was when the newspapers were reporting it and saying the amount of police officers there were in London. And it seemed like a tiny amount. It seemed like, can there really be that few police officers in a city this big? I guess what it hit home for me was, you know,

the upholding of the law essentially assumes that the vast majority of individuals are going to just go about their business and not commit crime. And also they respect the police. And when people lose respect for police, when people lose respect for authority, what have the people got? Nothing. Nothing? Sorry, the people who've got all the cards

and the people in charge have got none of the cards. See you next week. So I also, just because you keep avoiding the question, because I think you know you'd be terrible with your asthma and stuff. No, I would be mooching around the posh houses in Primrose Hill with a bag full of KFC admin myself No one will think of that

Listen I also I also spoke to A couple of people Who are much more Learned in this type of stuff Than me And said to them

Look What are the key skills Needed For this stuff to happen To survive And this is what Radio DJ Up there innit

Radio DJ A good orator. Are you going to need someone who basically chats shit on the radio a couple of times a week? Mind you, we might... Listen, people like us are going to need to be dishing out really important messages. Yeah, exactly.

It's an important job. Barricade ourselves in. But anyway, these people who, again, shall remain nameless, came back to me and said, this is a pricey of the following things they think would be essential in a post-apocalyptic scenario. Who do you know that can dispense this information with authority?

You don't need to know. I don't want to know. Just get your pen out and start making notes. First up was the ability to hunt. Okay, yeah. What would we be hunting, though? Foxes? Dirty old foxes?

Rats? Rats, probably. I guess this is a broad, not just based in London type scenario. If you're living outside of London, I guess it would be more important. Because what they come on to next is lockpicking. Yes. I once ordered some lockpicks on the internet and never sat down and figured out how to pick a padlock. I think that's a fascinating discipline.

Well, keep hold of them. You'll need them. You'll need them, yeah. Put them in your backpack. Apparently there'll be a lot of good stuff to be had if you can get into sort of vacated buildings and stuff, which makes sense. And I guess linked to these two things are scavenging

and knowing what you can and can't eat. I guess that's more of a countryside type thing. But before all that, though, they all said, all of them said making water potable, which essentially means making it drinkable, which I guess means boiling it, though, they all said, all of them said, making water potable, which essentially means making it drinkable, which I guess means boiling it, though, doesn't it? Yeah, I think it's something more than that, isn't it? I think there's a huge percentage of pathogens and dangerous stuff

is killed when you boil water to a certain level. So I think boiling it, really. You need to be fit. You need to be fit and healthy, as fit as possible, really. And they said it's really important that you're not too thin or sickly so i think you're out of it mate yeah um yeah i'm not built for the apocalypse what i would say is that um i mean if i didn't have my asthma drugs i'd be pretty uh dead i reckon well what i would say is the thing that if i'm ever sort of caught short with like i having me drugs with me the thing that has always helped

is being drunk it relaxes, it must relax the asphyxiation that's not on this, no exactly so I'm just saying I'd be pissed I'm just looking for absolute piss head absolute piss head liability you're just being pissed and really brave we're taking them on We're taking them on

The other thing that came up was You alright? Yeah I'm just putting the faders down I was going to cough because I'm a sickly boy But I put both our faders down at the moment You did that again didn't you? There we go Apparently good eyesight is important

Oh I've got my glasses What's that thing where Pig gets uh oh lord of the flies lord of the flies my goodness i have i have three pairs of spectacles luke so i'll have them all with me you make sure you do don't sit on them uh and actually coming back into again this is another relevant thing to you not being on any long-term drugs like insulin so again you're struggling uh drive driving a variety of different vehicles you can't drive oh this has

gone terribly I'm just checking you have failed on every single one of these the closest you've got to one of them is I bought some

lockpicks off the internet I never used them yeah I mean it's like the inverse kind of situation when you get an endorsement on LinkedIn isn't it

yeah you can do Excel spreadsheets sure but could you survive a zombie apocalypse post-apocalyptic linkedin now you're talking who do i team up with and why yeah anyway just finish up making fire making shelter sewing and repairing and ability to generally improvise so that i mean i'm good at improvising i'm pretty good at improvising i'm mocking you there but i'm by no means saying that i am good at any of those things. You've got a driving license.

I could drive if no one's going to go, if you've got a license. You're going, mate, the world's just ended. Don't worry about it. But you're not going to be the first port of call to drive, are you? No, but I'm saying I could drive if need be. Okay, talk to me through how you start and drive a car. You lift up the hood. The hood. No, you open up the hood. The hood. No.

You open up the car with the key. Yeah. Sit in the chair. Look behind. Sit in the chair. Sit in the chair. Look behind you. Mirror signal maneuver. It's poke apocalyptic. You don't have to worry about that. Oh, okay. Yeah. How do you start and drive? How do you pull away in a car? Press the start button. No.

You look faster furious now. Up, down, left, right, A, B. Konami. Take the Konami Press the start button. No. You're not fast as you is now. Up, down, left, right, A, B. Type the Konami code into the iPad. No, you do the K, then handbrake, presumably, and then... I play video games. No further questions.

Handbrake. Go into a control slide. So do we think... Smash into a wall. I'm going to rescue you here. Do we think that I would be better than you in a survival situation?

I mean, just fundamentally, you're more heavy set than me yeah but what i would say is that zombies would want to eat you first because you've got more meat you definitely got to use me as a distraction exactly but would you head somewhere isolated i'm quicker than you so that's true that's definitely true would you go to an isolated sort of place or would you stick in the city or toys r us toys are us mate i mean i mean gambling ham gamblies nice what do i call it gamblies that's because it's because it's gambling in my hometown what is that it was blatantly a rip-off of hamleys they did not be serious fantastic those are people listening who are familiar with the town with the town of fairham and hampshire they used to be a gambly's dance oh when you couldn't find toys and best goals sorry all right you finished i was gonna i was gonna tidy it all up all right fair enough all There used to be a Gamley's down there. When you couldn't find toys in Beskos. I was thinking... Sorry.

You all right? You finished? I was going to tidy it all up. All right, fair enough. I was going to tell you quite a fun story. All right. I'll finish off with this. In Bamley's. Gamley's.

Bamley's. I'll finish off with this. So I was thinking I would head somewhere up the Isle of Skye, right, but there's no one around. It's quite far away, though, isn't it? Yeah, I guess so, yeah. Yeah. I'll probably have to reach out.

Swim the Isle of Wight. Get on one of those sea forts in the Solent Oh yeah Spitbank or something yeah and last time I was in the Isle of on the Isle of Skye

I got chatting to a guy in a bar there local guy and he told me a story about how They're all local guys in the Isle of Skye

I know and I said to him I was talking about something we had done that day it was amazing we had this really beautiful natural

sort of tourist spot I think it was the Ferry Glam or something like that. Beautiful. But one of the most beautiful places I've ever been. And the thing that was so refreshing about it

is when you get there, there's nothing. There's not even a sign. There's certainly not like a gift shop or a man with a sort of lapel badge telling you what to do.

You can just do whatever you want. And I think if that was in the US or even parts of England, it would be completely, like Stonehenge is completely

sort of diluted now. You have to pay a distortion amount of money to get into an official bus to get there and stuff. Right. There's none of that in the other sky anyway. And I was saying to the guy, why is that?

Because tourism is so big for Scotland. He said, well, what they do on the other sky is they use, they dish out official permits to film companies and production companies to make a certain amount of adverts or movies on the island

every year. And that pays for everything. So that's basically the way they do it. And do you remember, and the example he gave which is brilliant, is he said do you remember that advert a while back for a company called Kayak, which is a flight comparison site, and it was a load of sheep with cardboard wings put on them?

Yes, I do. Right, so that advert if you guys haven't heard it or seen it, sorry, you can probably find it online. It's basically a lot of sheep in a lot of countryside with cardboard wings put on them, and it's about comparing flights. Yeah. And the sheep represent different flights. Anyway, that was filmed in the Isle of Skye, that very spot.

Actually, a spot called the Kerrang. And the guy told me that they went up there, put the sheep out there, put the wings on their back, and just started filming them. Not realising that sheep could just get anywhere. They can go anywhere, right? And he said, fast forward like 40 minutes, they're gone. They couldn't get them back. They were appearing up on the tops of cliffs and everything.

Still wearing their wings? Yep. Brilliant. And they said, two weeks later, they'd finally got them all back. But in between that time, a load of Japanese tourists Had come round And were taking photos Of these sheep Onto the cliffs

With cardboard wings On their backs Absolutely baffled Just the way it was happening It's fantastic Do you find there's so much Crazy stuff in Japan You'd be like

That's normal It literally They'd flown up there Oh that's wonderful I'm having that Okay Luke Don't gunge me mate Pipe down Pete

I told you never to argue With the customers Don't gunge me, mate. Pipe down, Pete. I told you never to argue with the customers. Don't gunge me, mate. Do you know what that piece of audio is from? No, go on. Don't gunge me, mate, Luke. Is it Noel's House Party? No, it was... I think it's like a get-your-own-back kind of Dave Benson Phillips show.

Right, okay. And that's the dad pleading with his son not to gunge him. It wasn't me. Don't gunge me, mate. Have we got permission for that one, or...? Eh. Ah, whatever. They'll never catch us. DBP's fine. The world will answer anyway. It wasn't me Don't gondry mate Have we got permission For that one or Ah whatever They'll never catch us

DBP DBP's fine The world will answer Anyway Is DBP the guy Who's good on Is he good on Twitter Yeah I think he is

Yeah yeah yeah He's familiar with His own Self awareness Yeah he's very self aware Yeah because I always Felt it was a shame When David Hasselhoff

Sort of got in on the joke Yeah But it's the opposite With DBP isn't it But I think at the same time he got in on the joke, he got sad at the same time. Remember when his daughter kept filming him when he was pissed?

That was regrettable. Lying on the floor eating a beef burger. That was a kebab, wasn't it? We've all been there. No, it was a beef burger. I think it was a beef burger, wasn't it? It was regrettable for everyone concerned, though. I thought he still looked good.

Better than I do. Is it emails time? It's emails time. Agony uncles slash emails. The great thing about this show, I think, is we've got two different names for the show itself and about 50 different names for the section. Do what we want.

It's anarchy. We're rolling with the punches. It's anarchy. They're not even punches. Some of them are kicks. I saw a review recently of the show where they called it... A piece of shit.

No, it's the plightiest way of confusion, expressing confusion I've ever heard. It was a genre-defying show. It's like a backhanded compliment there we go up yours let's get on with some emails shall we

yeah okay right do you want me to do one yeah you kick us out alright this is going all the way back to episode one this is from Gustav Nillang

the delightfully named Gustav Nillang hello Gustav Nillang he's from Uppsala in Sweden beautiful Sveria I think they call it locally

he says greetings I enjoyed episode one and I figured I'd add to your chat about animals being used as weapons during World War II. Now in episode one, if you guys haven't got there, or if you haven't listened to it yet, if you're listening to it in reverse order, for example, we talked a bit about bat bombs,

which is, yeah, listen, it's a long story, go and check it out. Imagine a bat with a bomb on it. Is that what we're talking about? No. I shouldn't recall. Yeah, a bit of that, a bit more than that, but yeah, that sort of stuff. Oh yes, I remember the bats would fly into a building and set fire to it. Yeah. Naughty bats. Naughty little bats.

Gustav would like to expand by saying, I can't remember if this was Germans who employed this tactic against the Russian Red Army or vice versa, but I know this is Eastern Front stuff. Anyway, what they did is they trained dogs to run under tanks with explosives on their back and unknowingly take the tank out along with themselves as everything was blown to bits.

It was a dog-eat-tank world, apparently. Not funny, is it? Well, dog-eat-tank-eat-dog again. The dog was... I think it's funny how people get really funny. I just did it there. People get really uptight about cruelty to animals more than they do cruelty to humans, really. Yeah.

Or tanks. Yeah. Or tanks. Yeah. That's this weapon with sous-shelves after they had done the gigantic error of placing the bait during training under their own tanks. So when the dogs were deployed on the scene with bombs strapped to them, they immediately ran their own tanks and decimated them from within.

He says, it just goes to show that dogs aren't reliable in war. The day we figure out how to convince cats to do the fighting for us, we'll be unstoppable. Fascinating missive from Gustav. Thanks for us, we'll be unstoppable. Fascinating message from Gustav. Thanks for that, mate. It was actually the Soviets that used them against the Germans. And apparently they were dreadful because they weren't used to working with moving tanks.

Oh, so they wouldn't... Because dogs like to chase cars, don't they? Yeah, right. But generally tanks aren't quite as quick. Apparently, I did a little bit of research around this, and what was happening is that the dogs were confused by the moving tanks. So they would run next to them and just wait for them to stop,

at which point they were just being shot. Right, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I think they also could smell the difference. They could smell the difference between enemy tanks and... So what was happening was they were smelling an unfamiliar tank and they weren't sure that's what they're supposed to be doing. Right, okay, yeah. Because they weren't used to it, right?

So they needed, like, an enemy tank to smell. Yeah, basically, yeah. Like you get a dog to smell drugs. And I found a, yeah, and I found a World War II sort of... That's my Saturday night. I found a World War II sort of website which talks about this in more depth. Found.

Bookmark. Yeah, bookmark yeah bookmark perused through my own collection deviant out of the first group of 30 dogs

only 4 managed to detonate their bombs near the German tanks inflicting an unconfirmed amount of damage 6 exploded upon

returning to the Soviet trenches killing and injuring soldiers and apparently this is the kicker right it was so bad

for morale because these men were getting close to these dogs, which were then being killed. Yeah. Or they were then having to kill them themselves because they were running back to... Bloody trenches.

Yeah. I know. They just shelved it because they couldn't... I guess the bond between man and dog is so strong that it was just decimating them around. They just didn't want to do it. So, yeah, there we go. That's more tales of animals being used erroneously in warfare i'm

kind of with the dogs on that one just indifference with tanks at any kind of like uh big war machinery the stuff that you see on the history channel all the time i'm like you know i'd rather look at a nice engineering feet like a bridge or a big wheel or something i have to say it leaves me cold as well do you remember when we were both at a wedding uh in greece and a friend of a friend tried to romance a woman by comparing it i think you might have gone home at this point, a friend of a friend tried to romance a woman by comparing her to a particular kind of tank.

I would love to hear about that. I don't know enough about tanks, so it was kind of like... Or women. Or women. But the whole table just went, oh my God, what are you doing? Was he being serious? Yeah, he was. He was basically, I think you're interesting, I think you're interesting, I think you're a breath of fresh air.

And he compared her to, because he was into his military... I love your turret. Yeah, he compared her to a particularly interesting tank. And the whole table went, oh, my God, what are you doing? And he followed it up by saying, it revolutionised warfare. But it revolutionised warfare. And the best thing is, she went, I know it did. So she was familiar with the tank as well.

Didn't work though. Fantastic. Left her cold. Yeah. That is excellent. I think you've probably sort of been as bad as that. At one point, we all have. Anyway, that's enough of that, Donaldson.

Donny, PD, have you got an email? I have. PD has got an email. It's a very short one. Why are you smiling already? CP. Hello, CP. Yeah.

Recently left my job at National Magazine to go freelance, but there's not much freelance work around. What can I do for a quick buck in the short term? Can you give me a cool alias? Because obviously I want a job again soon. I mean, this doesn't serve anything. I mean, it's not like a good advert for him like just to make it clear we can only say the email is quite nicely written and we will forward on

an address if you want anybody but we are not being paid to do this so i mean work bank if you're looking for a job here you've got no hope we started this three weeks ago man we're a skeleton staff of two i mean goodness me goodness me. In a borrowed studio. I know the sort of press journalism, print journalism market out there is tough. Yeah.

But you are absolute rock bottom when you come here for that. I hear it's dog eat tank. Yeah, it really is. It really is. I wish you the best luck, CP.

Yeah. But we can't help you. But do keep us posted. Charles Pooh. We'll both look after Luke. We'll both look after Luke. We'll both look after Luke. If he feels sad without Mum and Dad,

we'll both look after Luke. That thing happened again. Your editing skills are terrible. I like it, though. It's such a cute jingle, that. Yeah. Isn't it? We'll both look after Luke.

Anyway, did you hit the wrong one there? Because we're up for men cast now, aren't we? Oh, yeah, stuff for men cast. Sorry, Phil. Yeah, that's all right. Do it like that. There we go. Let there be justice for all. Let there be justice. Let there be peace for all.

It's one small step for man. You don't understand. Willie was a salesman. Say simply, very simply, with hope. Good morning. Right. There we go. I'll trim them for next week.

It'll be fine. All right, fine. Yeah. Men Carter, then. Men Carter 95? Men Carter 95. Whatever you want to call it. We've started a new man-based encyclopedia where myself and yourself put things in.

Well, it's not even man-based, really. No. You just wanted to... I remember the email conversation well. You just really wanted to call it Men Carter. Yeah, you went, let's start as an encyclopedia. And I said, Men Carter.

And you were going, it doesn't work because we don't want to preclude women from getting involved. Men Carter. I just kept on replying. Men Carter, Luke. Men Carter.

You actually said... I've already done the jingle, mate. You sent an email with the subject red line and said, this is a deal breaker for me. So I agreed to it. And then I called you a cook and said something about red pilling.

Yeah, and then asked me about if I've ever eaten a long egg. And until I have, to shut my cock mouth. Egg hole. Shut your egg hole. Yeah. So, yeah, it's business time where we talk about something we want to induct into our own encyclopedia.

And what did we induct last week, to give people a reminder? I can't bloody remember. It was you inducted figs that were beset with wasps. That's right, yeah, the waspy things. It was disturbing. It was disturbing. And I inducted, what did I induct? Oh, Buzz Aldrin.

Yes. Buzz Aldrin. Yes. Buzz Aldrin's travel expenses. Two buzzy items. Fig full of wasps and Buzz Aldrin. It was one of those really nice happenstances. Yeah, coincidences of where things all came together. And it sounded for a brief moment like we knew what we were doing. Yeah, we didn't.

And we can assure you we didn't. So what have you got this week, Peter? I have got something by the name of Quick Lock. Are you familiar with the company Quick Lock? Spelt K-W-I-K-L-O-K. Based in Washington. I'm thinking Quick Quid. That's people who give you the payday loans.

Quick Quid? Yeah. That sounds particularly low rate. A lot longer, but worse. Right. And I'd like to introduce our new sponsor, Quick Quid. Quick Lock. Talk to me.

Quicklock. They're basically those U-shaped tabs you get on bread bags. Do you remember back in the day when you were a kid? Yeah. You used to put the little things,

I certainly did, on my, they weren't on my spokes, they were on the wires that connected my brakes on the old bikes and stuff. And these days you get like a little plastic sticky thing,

don't you? Oh yeah, you do. So I guess they're not used quite as much as they used to do. But do you remember how ubiquitous they used to be, certainly, in the UK? And apparently they're still used in America to this very day on everything. I can confirm that.

They're basically like sharp, hard plastic squares. Yeah, they've got a little sort of like an indentation where you can put this thing in, yeah, and it holds it in place. They're almost exclusively produced by just one company. Right. And have been since the start of time. How long ago are we talking? Well, according to the Quick Lock website, Luke...

984 AD. The idea for the bread clip came to a man named Paxton during a flight in 1952. Okay, I love that. There's a really great tradition in the US for these old-type, really like sort of American dream-type inventions, which make people incredibly wealthy just through their own ingenuity and hard work. I very much am seduced by the romance of that type of stuff. And then those companies grow up to be massive behemoths, and they've sublet all of their, subcontracted rather,

all of their work out to China, India, and that's where all the interesting stuff is doing. So they're a victim of their own success. And they don't pay tax, and they moreover normally ruin the planet exactly so it's just a heart woman just a heartwarming story yeah i'm not saying quick lock got involved clearly they're very much a mom and pop plastic square operation but um he was on a plane and he was eating a packet of um complementary nuts as you would do back in 1952 that was the thing he used to eat and uh it's more like umzels nowadays, isn't it?

Yeah, I've got beef with that. I mean, I don't know if you want me to digress or not. I think I've heard this before. You don't get enough or something. Well, you get like one packet of pretzels on BA now. And this is a first world problem. And people are going, oh, God, yeah, at least you can afford to fly.

I can't. My wife's American, so I have to go there. Have you considered getting one of those sheep? I should get one. Or fly. Those flying sheep I've been hearing such about. That'd be great. No, I'd really enjoy going there, of course.

But anyway, BA had just started getting really stingy with their pretzels. But I wasn't going to say that. Stingy with my pretzels! What I was going to say was, I read a story once about a guy who was so allergic to peanuts, he went into anaphylactic shock on a plane, had a really bad reaction, and they found out later it was because someone on the flight before had dropped a peanut down the side of his seat

and he had shorts on and it was touching his skin. Holy moly. And that's how allergic he was to peanuts. Isn't it weird that some people can die because of peanuts and we still eat them? So that's fine. And they're in everything. Like just everything. My mate of mine is allergic to peanuts. My mate told me he's. Like, just everything. I once, my mate of mine, he's allergic to peanuts.

My mate told me he, he's actually allergic to nuts generally. He came to my house before, where I live on my own, and we got a curry in. And I checked with the guy on the phone and there was no nuts in them. And he said there wasn't.

And we got tucked in. And he had a reaction. Is it big tongue, big neck? No, it was more of a, he's not as bad as the other. Oh, I need to leave your house now. Boring. Instantly left. No, it was, it was a, it was like a more of a... He's not as badly... Oh, I need to leave your house now. Boring. Instantly left. No, it was

a more of a sort of vomiting type thing. Ah, okay. That's the more pleasant one. If you'll afford me one more quick story, because this is a good one. Another friend of mine is allergic to peanuts, and he had a bad... How many friends have you got that are allergic to peanuts? Well, two. I didn't know the guy on the plane.

Anyway, this guy's allergic to peanuts. He had a really bad reaction once on Christmas Day, and it was quite an interesting story, but that's not what I was going to peanuts. Well, two. I didn't know the guy on the plane. Anyway, this guy's allergic to peanuts. He had a really bad reaction once on Christmas Day, and it was quite an interesting story, but that's not what I was going to say. Nut roast. Don't give him the nut roast. Oh, what have you got me for Christmas? The wonder you could have had turkey.

Yeah, everything I bought you for Christmas is made of nuts. Well, it's a very nutty time of the year, isn't it? You get those nut crackers and stuff. Christmas pudding. Maybe they gave them a Russian roulette type thing with presents when one of them we opened was nuts. Are Brazil nuts the most unlovably crafted nut on the outside? But when you get in there, lovely.

They're disgusting to look at. I like all nuts. My grandmother used to crack walnuts in his bicep. Brilliant. Yeah, it's great. Anyway, let me get this story out because it's a good one. So this guy, he got allergic to peanuts or whatever it was on Christmas Day, and it was a nightmare because it was Christmas Day.

But anyway, the week before that, he wakes up. He's working. I think he was working. He's a teacher, so I guess he was home for the holidays over Christmas, and his wife was at work. And she left him a message when he woke up on the side saying, oh, by the way, someone's come around to look at the car. They live in this little small village in the middle of nowhere the local mechanic should come look

at the car because i couldn't get the start this morning please tell me he's allergic to metal nuts too and it was nuts and bolts as well no and so he was like okay fine no worries anyway he didn't know the mechanic he never met him he lived in this small village i promise you this is true and uh so he went he's got a nice little, nice pile out in the country. It's a nice house. And he's at the kitchen window doing the washing up. All of a sudden, this guy, older guy, like 60, 60-odd, walks past the window, like shouting to himself. Right.

Having some sort of, almost like a mental breakdown. And they've got a field at the back of their house with horses in it. Right. And he's running around the field after the horses. Middle of the day, 60-year-old man chasing after horses,

shouting obscenities in the middle of nowhere. He's become a nut. Yeah, right. And so my mate was like, what am I going to do? What am I going to do? And he was like,

oh my God. So he tried to get the guy and he just couldn't get him. Right. So he's like, right, I've got to find out which mechanic... He assumed it was the mechanic. I've got to he just couldn't get him. Right. So he's like, right, I've got to find out which... He assumed it was the mechanic.

I've got to find out what's happening here. Right. So he finds the company's number. Well, hang on. So he thinks the mechanic's in his backyard running around. Well, the mechanic is. Right. This is what's happened.

The mechanic's come over to look at the car and... And he's misheard it. No, he's gone mad. Right. And so my mate finds the number of the mechanics, and it turns out to be a sort of local operation, and the phone is in the house. So his wife answers.

Right. And he says, hello, I'm not sure if you can help me, but the mechanic we've ordered to come to our house, I mean, he's having some sort of breakdown in the back garden. Yeah. What do we do? And his wife, it was his wife who answered, and she said, oh, I know what's happened.

He's had, like like a diabetic episode. Right. And so he's having this problem with his diabetes or hypoglycemia, I think it's diabetes. I always get too mixed up. So to cut a long story short and let you get back to your thing, he had to chase the guy around, grab him and start shoving chocolate digestive into his mouth

until he could sort himself out. What a weekend. And apparently a couple of days later, the guy was like, you know, sent him a lovely present, so sorry about that. I mean, I forgot to do whatever I needed to do that morning, and it just, yeah.

My God. I had no idea that could happen. No, I didn't know that that was part of it. You just sort of... I thought people passed out or something. Yeah, yeah. But anyway, that's the story as it was told to me. How many diabetics do you know?

Well, how many diabetics do you know? Just one. He's a mechanic. I know one, and he did my favourite joke ever. I don't think I've done it on a podcast before, but we were all at the urinal, and when he drank quite a lot, he stopped that sort of behaviour now and he's come to become a dad,

and he's a very responsible adult. But it was the funniest joke I think I'd ever witnessed. We were all at the urinals, and he said, my, well, he's bigger than all of yours, and we looked, and he had an erection. What? At the urinal.

Why? And we were thinking, how did he, did he go into the toilet to make that happen? How old were you? 29, probably. And how old was he? 29. Okay.

Is that an image? I'm less unsettled now. It was the funniest joke, but I saw a man's, you know, one of my best friends erect penis. He went to the trouble to set that up? Look, I think that's hilarious, personally. It's a good joke.

It's high risk. Could go off at any moment. Yeah, exactly. Wow. There we go. Where were we? What were we talking about? I genuinely can't remember.

Not allergies. Oh, the guy, the quick lock. Oh, yeah. Well, I mean, to be honest, he basically didn't have a way of closing his complimentary nuts. Yeah. And he wanted to save some for later. As a solution, he took out a penknife

and hand-carved the first bread clip out of a credit card. Oh, that's great. I mean, presumably, that's his credit card. Yeah. Maybe, you know, the use of it wasn't that popular. I bet you want these nuts. I've ruined. I can't get home now. I can't I've ruined. I can't get home now.

I can't buy any more. I can't get home. No contactless then either, of course. No, exactly. Not back in the 50s. No, you couldn't just extricate the chip. That was quite part of Trajessica, if you don't mind me saying. What?

I probably loved it even more for that. The chip? No, the quick lock. No, yeah, I don't mind that. I think a lot of this podcast is a bit partridge. That's the aim. That is the stated aim. Did you Yeah, I don't mind that. I think a lot of this podcast is a bit partridge. That's the aim. That is the stated aim. Did you see they're selling the partridge car?

Somebody made a reproduction of the cock piss babtridge. Rover, would it be a Rover Vitesse? Rover 500, I believe. Yeah, okay, right. I'm not that familiar with cars, but I just read the eBay auction. It's about two grand at the moment. I think it'd be a Rover 800, wouldn't it? That sort of size.

800, I don't know. It's on eBay, is it? This has gone so partridge. It's on eBay. So basically moment. I think it'd be a Rover 800, wouldn't it? That sort of size. 800, I don't know. It's on eBay, is it? This has gone so parted. It's on eBay. So basically he made a reproduction for it, for like, I think a book tour or something. And he, I think Steve Coon was doing some stuff. Oh, he turned up at a book sign, didn't he?

In the car. Right, yeah. Lovely. That's great. Lovely old job. Good stuff. Right, so you've got quick lock. I've got quick lock.

I'd like to introduce to you and to all the lovely listeners, Mr. Roy Sullivan for my entry. Right. Mr. Roy Sullivan is not a name that will immediately spring to recognition for a lot of people, I'm sure. But Roy Sullivan, in his capacity as park ranger in the Shenandoah National Park in the Blue Ridge Mountains, the beautiful Blue Ridge Mountains in Virginia, in the US. Obviously, of the famous Fleet Foxes song as well. An

equally beautiful piece of music, Pete. You probably bring that in there. Stop reviewing things. Bring it in there if you want. Hang on. You got it? Yep. There was a big tree in Bethany. Beautiful voice.

Beautiful. What a beautiful voice. Robin Peck-Niles. Anyway, in the Sherandide National Park in the Blue Ridge Mountains in Virginia, Mr Roy Sullivan, his capacity as park ranger between 1942 and 1977, was struck by lightning no less than seven times. Oh. He survived all seven strikes. Was he made of metal or something?

These seven lightning strikes happened across 35 years. Bloody hell. And apparently you have a 1 in 10,000 chance of being hit by lightning in your life on average based across an 80 year life. 1 in 10,000? That's just kind of low. Yeah. I mean, sorry, that seems rather high. A high chance? You mean you think it'd be more likely or less

likely? I think it should be less likely. I don't like the idea of 10,000. No, okay, well that's apparently... They do say in this in this sort of uh pricey of roy sullivan's major contribution to the world which is that he was hit by i'm sure he's a great park ranger yeah they do say he was more i had he was more at risk because for two reasons one because he was outside of the time and two based on the most recent recent available data virginia is particularly susceptible to thunderstorms so that had something to do massive fucking play yeah no he didn't but apparently um and if you probably by the end his brain was jelly yeah no you could power you could power the house off but um he um yeah he he uh he

was survived i mean if you look it up online you can see how the different times it hit him one was in his car and one for his shoulder but um apparently um he reckons he was actually hit eight times but the first one uh was when he was a kid and he couldn't prove it so he didn't claim it i can't believe it i didn't go down the lightning strike no the reason it's important is because he's a good he's in the goodness world book of world records as being the most hit person officially confirmed and the best thing was his wife was also once hit while hanging out the washing and he was standing next to her and didn't get hit. Didn't get hit? Yeah.

Oh, fancy bit of that, do you? But apparently, poor old Roy, toward the end of his life, people would know who he was, as he was pretty famous locally. He just burned. Horrifically burned. They would avoid talking to him. Oh, because, yeah, incredibly unlucky, I guess, yeah? No one would talk to him. Oh, so lonely. The details around how, well, the details around

why he passed away are open for debate and very tragic, but he died not too long after his final lightning strike with a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head. Right. People think it was... He was lonely. Possibly... His wife was next to him when he died, but

people think that he had perhaps some sort of unrequited love affair with a with a cloud that's disrespectful that is disrespectful to poor roy's memory anyway roy sullivan pete i mean to be honest if i was that unlucky i'd be like i could probably shoot myself in the head and chances are I'll be fine I'll be fine but after the third time

do you not think this job's not for me let's move it's not for me let's move I'm gonna be a miner looking for a desk job I'm gonna be a miner

unless you've got a hit in the mind don't get down here covered in coal everyone's dead apart from him I can't be killed so yeah

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My head hurts a bit. What's that about? Lightning. I got the wrong jingle again. Spokestack lightning. Where's the jingle? Come on, Lightning John Hopkins. We'll see you next week.

See you, guys. and Hopkins we'll see you next week see you guys you