The Luke and Pete Show - Episode 42: Childhood fights, boys called Paul and our very own drinking game

Episode Date: March 1, 2018

Did you ever get into a fight as a child? Perhaps you got into more than one. Perhaps you did so with a boy called Paul. Luke did, and he can't be the only one.Elsewhere, a future hall-of-fame listener informs us of a Luke and Pete Show drinking game that he's developed with his pals, inclusive of a PDF with pretty colours explaining how the whole thing works and we also find time for a truly remarkable email about the burial of a cat.Tell us about your childhood fighting escapades or your deeply-held pacifism here: [e-mail] Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I'm gonna get ya I'm gonna get ya I'm doing a rap about me going to get ya hello yeah livefeature.com hi Pete

back together for 43 hi Pete yeah episode 42 mate 42 43's next week that's as close as a breakdown in one sentence I'm ever going to see, I think.

You want to see me break down? I'll break down, brother. Yeah. Break it down. Break it down. How have you been? Good. You all right?

Very good, thanks. We talked about DB Cooper last week. We talked about the cocaine bear. I've spent all weekend all week eating cocaine so that's what I've been doing my stomach's packed mate cocaine cocaine bear

cocaine bear went down well I was when I said he became the state mascot it was a joke okay people from Kentucky you were listening

I do understand he's not your state mascot no it's the colonel a nice development about which goes great with cocaine did you say there was a KFC shortage

quite a ways ago in London? Yes, I did. London, England. I'll be honest, at the risk of making myself sound like a dirty old boy, I do like KFC. Ten spicy wings.

That's my order. Every time. That's too many, isn't it? I'm more often than not, I'm just going boneless. Just boneless? Yeah, I can't be arsed with the bones.

Ten spicy wings. That's what you want. I like the gravy as well. I like the bones. Ten spicy wings. That's what you want. I like the gravy as well. I like the gravy. Yeah. Do you dip the chicken in the gravy? Yeah.

Big time. Is it chicken gravy? I think so. I only recently got into it. Why do we not have mashed potatoes in England? Why are you asking me the recipes

of a fast food restaurant which is basically known for not giving anyone its recipes? Because in America you get Muncher's tail. We don't get it here. No.

We have to make them with crushums. There's cocaine in the KFC. No, there is not. No, there's not. One development on cocaine, Baron, if you've not listened

to the episode before this one, episode 41, this is not going to make any sense to you, but I've got no sympathy for you because you should listen to things

in order. Bear Grylls has been caught on a long lens. No, he hasn't. Stop trying to get us done. Get us done. You're going to make any sense to you, but I've got no sympathy for you because you should listen to things in order. Bear Grylls has been caught on a long lens. No, he hasn't. Stop trying to get us done. You're going to get us bankrupted if you're not careful. And that won't take long because we haven't got any money. The development I was particularly interested in

in the fact that this bear... I'm typing, has Bear Grylls ever taken cocaine at Google? And the thing that has come up is the first suggestion. Has Bear Grylls ever seen Bigfoot? He's diving that in. Yeah.

Oh, I'm not sure about Bigfoot, but if Bear Grylls has seen it, I believe him. He's a man of God, I believe him. Oh, wow.

Let me get this cocaine bear development out because I really want to make it clear that this makes it even funnier. Zac Efron opens up to Bear Grylls

about his struggle with cocaine addiction. Right, fucking stop it. Right, I'm just saying, Zac Efron's admitting it Bear Grylls about his struggle with cocaine addiction. Right, fucking stop it. Right, I'm just saying, Zac Efron's admitting it. Close your computer, because I want to get this fucking sentence out

and so does everyone listening at home. Alright. However many pounds it was, I think 15 pounds of cocaine that bear took on board before it died. Too much.

Yeah. The bear, right, only weighed 175 pounds. That's less than me! The bear was smaller than me! Oh, what, sir? It, um, what, it, it, what, it um what it it worked

what hang on it lost all that weight on December 23rd 1985 the New York Times reported it as a 175 pound black bear

that's a small bear a size zero bear well I'm not surprised he did all that cocaine he probably didn't eat anything probably busy drinking champagne

and going to gallery openings cocaine for breakfast and for lunch and then a proper meal. And the weight just fell off. Yeah. So it's not even like, you know when you hear about a bear being reported

and usually they're massive, they're like a ton. This bear isn't even as heavy as me. It's even more admirable from the bear that it managed to get through that amount of, that quantity of drugs before it died. Probably really hungry, that's why. Eat anything. Or another theory, Pete. Not another one.

Some people came along, the bear had done some of the drugs. Right. They took the rest of them, which, blame it on the bear. The bear would take... It's a false flag. There you go.

Anyway. Well done to the bear, though, for consuming that amount of cocaine. So cocaine, cocaine a bear, has been really filling my week. I don't know about yours, Pete. It's been filling my week, too. I've been thinking about what a wild night you had. Yeah.

On the old Charles. What else has been going on for you since we last met? Not a lot, really. Enjoying my feng shui kitchen. Just been doing more podcasts. That's all you do? Podcast party. I've got like 10 Twitter profiles I don't post to now.

And you are a man who is terrible at remembering passwords. So how does that even work for you? Our Adobe Creative license suite thing. Every week I've got to ask for a password reset. I just cannot get it into my head. My thick skull. An insight into how difficult it can be. I mean, I love working with you.

You're an excellent colleague and I really enjoy chatting with you on this show. Thank you. But, and there's always a but, you, to give people... I have a but, so my posterior is tiny. Yeah, you have the bottom of an eight or nine-year-old boy. How do I get a bigger bum without working out?

Get the implants. Mine's all natural, mate. Like Kim Kier. You can do side bends and sit-ups. Side bends? Please don't lose that butt. You are a man who not only has

a horrendous time remembering passwords, but you also steadfastly refuse to use any sort of spreadsheet. So I've actually got a collection of all

the passwords we have here at Redis to kind of towers that you are able to access whenever you want. You've just got to ask me. But you refuse philosophically to use a spreadsheet. So it's very difficult for you to get around that, really. Where's the art in that? Boring.

No. And also, Lord Ramble, who sets up all the passwords for everyone, is quite frequently troublesome when it comes to passwords, isn't he? I don't think he thinks that security is a dirty word. No, but he doesn't think security is a dirty word, but he does like to libel me and both you in his password choices. In a way, that is quite a creative way of doing it, because you're never going to share that.

Yeah, exactly. Because security means you can't. So if you are going to abuse someone, the best way to do it is with a password. He's read a white paper on security, hasn't he? Unbelievable scenes. Shall we do some emails, Luke? Well, I mean, I've had a few.

We will. Speaking of emails, we've had a few people asking why you keep referring to your kitchen as a feng shui kitchen. Feng shui? What's feng shui about it? I moved it around to make it nicer.

More room. That surprises me. More room for activities, as that film I've never seen always references on the online. As anyone who's ever heard the Excellent Abroad in Japan podcast, if you are a regular

and very, very important member, would know that you are a Japanophile. I am a Japanophile. So why would you resort to this Japanese stereotype of what feng shui is? I should get rid of all of my things. Well, the new thing in Japan is to...

Oh, that's what I'm going to do. Next time I go to Japan, I'm going to stay in that capsule, that tower. There's a new thing in Japan is to, oh, that's what I'm going to do. Next time I go to Japan, I'm going to stay in that capsule, that tower. There's a tower that was like a really old school kind of capsule, kind of piece of art, basically.

Right. And Airbnb do placements there. I'm going to get in there. I'm going to do it, Luke. I'm going to do it. What's the benefit of that? You can stay in a little capsule. I can't remember the name of the tower now but it's uh

it's a beautiful it's a beautiful kind of like space age uh tower that was uh built in the 70s uh in uh in japan in tokyo right um the name is the uh nakagin capsule tower and it's this beautiful kind of weird modular building look at at that. Every little pod is a little house. And they were designed to be replaced after they became a bit rubbish. And one person rents out his Airbnb. So next time I'm going to do that, I'm going to do that. Sorry, I just got excited about doing something in the future there,

live on the podcast. A few people have been in touch asking why if you pay for your friends to go on holiday... I don't do that. I do that sometimes. Yeah, okay. You have done that in the past. It's certainly generous.

When friends don't have, you know, I've got other jobs. What they've asked is listeners, and this is the listener speaking, not me. They've asked why you've never paid for me to go away with you. Because you leave so many hairs in the shower. It's dreadful. We're going to Naples soon, aren't we? Oh, yeah, we are going away. I've undone myself there.

That's actually something that is happening. So in the future we will be. Maybe we'll do a show from Naples or at least we'll report back from there. Nipples. Okay. So let's do emails. Let's do some emails.

It's time for emails. We'll both look after Luke. We'll both look after Luke. If he feels sad about mum and dad, we'll both look after Luke. Yes! Oh, excellent. I love this.

Do you know what? I love this new short form format because I feel like we've got a lot more energy. I think so. I'm up. Yeah. Little and often, that's the key. That is the key.

Is that right? As Cocaine Bear did not say, that is the key. I've got a few emails here about untranslatable words, which has been a bit of a theme going back a few episodes or so. Yes, of going back a few episodes or so there's some decent ones i don't know if you want a couple now all right um i've got a korean one and an indonesian one i have the korean one because i think i know which one this is why don't you do it then all right then is it fred's it's

freddie brown yeah thanks fred uh very late to the boat on this one but i've just come across a peculiar word with no real english translation. The Korean umchina, meaning a son of your mother's friend. But in a figurative sense, to compare with your own, to compare your own inadequacies to a fictional, perfect individual. That's quite a poetic one. It's good, isn't it? It's lovely.

I get it straight away. I understand exactly what it means. Oh, Paul down the road is good, isn't he? Is it always Paul? Fucking Paul. Fucking Paul. I'm good, isn't he? Is it always Paul? Fucking Paul. Fucking Paul. I'm trying to think who is... Have I ever had a Paul down the road? Paul Todd.

He's hanging out with a lad called Paul Todd. Who, you know, is a specimen. Big, tall, six foot tall, went in the Navy, moved out to Portsmouth. Did he? Okay. Possibly Plymouth, can't remember. Everyone confuses them. He's been in the Navy for like 25 years.

He must be really good at it now. Yeah. He must be. I at it now. He must be. I bet he can do it. Navy expert. I bet he can do like donuts in a boat. Yeah. Donuts in an aircraft carrier. I reckon he can.

Lovely. And I reckon he should. There was a guy who lived opposite me called Paul Button. Lovely fella. Wasn't he Princess Diana's? No, that's Paul Burrell. Oh, damn it.

I mean, if you could think of two people that opposite then that would be those two paul button was a very very nice chap good friend of my year older than me and really really hard and uh once i got in a scuffle with him i have something stupid we were about 12 i've been 12 he's probably 13 and um in the scuffle he was much tougher than me and bigger and older but in the scuffle he sort of slipped over right and I was able to

to kick his legs out and jump on him right and give him a little bit of a a little bit of a shoo-in a very very short shoo-in a short shoo-in at which point I thought

get out while you can and I just jumped off and legged it home and locked myself in my house and I wouldn't come out because I thought if I go near him again he's going to chin me

right and it took about two weeks of me steadfastly avoiding all my friends who live locally before he calmed down but we could become friends again oh yeah that's all right then though isn't it yeah i'm still friends with him on facebook he's a good lad uh paul he's been proper slagging you off mate yeah we're off air he was saying that you're a doyle oh paul todd um if you're listening when he was talking about you earlier sanny thought you were brilliant and when Pete was talking about you earlier, Sani thought you were brilliant and that.

He was doing the wanker side. But you can't see it because it's radio. Paul Todd could just pick me up and just squeeze my neck. Hello at LukeandPeteShow.com if you've got a friend.

If you want to tell us about your friends called Paul. Yeah. You might have an amazing story about them. They might be a lovely chap.

Might be a terrible chap. I think I've probably got other friends called Paul as well. There's a guy I used to know called Paul Day who's a little bit like Frankenstein.

Everyone used to call him Frank. I'm sure there's more. Emails about people called Paul. Indeed. If you don't do it, Danny Baker will. Have you seen

the drinking game that we got sent? No, I haven't seen that. Oh God, you're in for a treat. Can I just do this untranslatable word first? Alright then. We're in the untranslatable

word bit. This is hot off the press. This has just come in while I've been in the studio from Tom in Coventry. Tom Tom. If you're interested in how good I am as a broadcaster, yes I can read an email and broadcast at the same time. I can roll with the punches. Okay. And we haven't even got a news break. We can roll on a

man after he's punched you. I did that. Paul Burrell. I don't even know if even got a news break. We can roll on a man after he's punched you. I did that. Paul Burrell. I don't even know if he got any punches off. He says, Tom in Coventry says, All right, chaps, catching up on some Luke and Pete shows. I thought I'd add one to the words not directly translatable to English chat if I'm not too late.

You are not too late. No, never too late. He says the Indonesian word menkolek, I think that's pronounced, is the act of tapping someone on the far shoulder while standing on the opposite side of them

ah yes no idea why especially Indonesians love that particular brand of silliness but it's good to know it wasn't just me and my mates at school

keep up the good work except Pete who should keep up the lovable shoddiness Tom in Coventry he says I need more exotic batteries in my life too.

No one wants to hear about energisers. Agree. No, I found it. They love it so much they've actually got a word for it. That's nice, isn't it? Yeah.

Men collect. Men collect. I've been men collect. Men collect me. I wonder if it's like men means shoulder and collect means to get fucked over.

Maybe, yeah. Kev Button, Swansea. Kev Button? Is he related to Paul Button? Maybe. Who knows? Who knows? Maybe it's his brother. First up, battery brands in my remote. Kev Button Swansea Kev Button is he related to Paul Button maybe who knows who knows maybe it's his brother

first up battery brands in my remote Legion not heard of that I don't think we've had one of those a new player has entered the game yeah we are Legion for we are many

are they kind of is that the course we are Legion for we are many or is what anonymous is that Borg or something I don't know the Borg

we are Borg and we are the same every time Star Trek I don't remember Legion I'm sure Legion had one of those kind of things where they were all the same right I don't know. At the Borg. We are Borg and we are the same every time. Star Trek. I don't remember. Legion. I'm sure Legion had one of those kind of things where they were all the same.

Right. I don't know. I mean, uniformity is very important when you're producing double A cells. Do you want to get on with the email? No.

I've begun to pick up on several verbal tics on the show and recurring themes cropping up during the show. I've been listening since show one so I've tried to set them

to good use and produce the attached rules for a Luke and Pete show drinking game. Right. So get yourself a bevy, strap yourself in, one finger of drink for popular themes, two fingers for something more niche,

whereas the mention of a classic trope compels the player to down their drink. I've been sat on this for a couple of weeks until, buoyed by the now twice-weekly podcast gold, my mate and I finally decided to play for real with episode 38. I'm not going to tell you how to spend your time, Kev. I bet your pleases are short to show now.

Yeah. Unbeknownst to us, of course, you started with a good six or seven minutes of Japanese commuter chat. See Pete's section. And after about a quarter of an hour, we were both completely bladdered. Looking forward to listening to the rest of the episodes when my hangover subsides. Keep up the excellent work. All the best, Kev Button Swansea. So here is the...

Oh, he's got a PDF and everything. Look at this. Yeah. Look at that. He's used a very old picture of me. Yeah, and he's used

a picture of Teabag from Prison Break for me, which is upsetting. No, it's good. I like it. Good one, Kev. Especially because he

was intimated in the Me Too scandal. Oh, was he really? I believe he was. Everyone is. Everyone is. Let's have a look. We're not.

Because we don't have any female employees. Right, Luke. These are some of the things that give you one finger, so to speak. I know, right? Yeah. That's been a big one for a while. There's actually a piece of paper in the corner of the studio saying, I know, right?

That's a trope, yeah. My wife's American. Yeah, I do say that a lot as well. Animal Kingdom. That's another popular one as well. Why do I say Animal Kingdom? I don't know. You do like the Animal Kingdom quite a lot.

I'd like to distance myself from that. That's fair dues. Yeah, that's because I literally work with Pete Donaldson. They've made it worse of anything. That's the one I've heard you do before. They're one finger to drink, yeah? Yeah. These are the twos.

These are the twos. They've made it worse of anything. Have I told you the one I've heard you do before. They're one finger to drink, yeah? Yeah. These are the twos. These are the twos. They've made it worse of anything. Have I told you about this already? Yeah, that's a good one. All right, keep it light. Yeah. I don't want to be too London-centric, but... There you go.

All right, keep it light. I don't really know if I remember saying that. Every now and again. A downy drink is straight off the dorm piece. That's a popular one. Yeah. Yeah. You've stopped using that, though, I've noticed.

They shouldn't have let us in on this, because now I can just get people drunk whenever we want. Alexa, a popular one. Yeah. Yeah. You've stopped using that though I've noticed. They shouldn't have let us in on this because now I can just get people drunk whenever we want. Alexa, order booze from shop. After Pete says something unexpectedly strong,

where's that come from? Yeah. I think I've got the international word right there. Yeah. Where's that come from? And finally,

I like this one, Boston Logan Airport. That's the airport I travel to most. That's why. What are your ones? Mine's number one Japan

yeah classic I'm not having it number two goodness me that's your tired one and then and then and then

for the bonus down your drink I tell the goodness me back story about me saying goodness me a lot so I'm self aware but I still do it

refers to a computer as a rig you do that as well to be fair. Yeah but I've taken the piss out of you so that's not the same. Says something

ridiculously technical and quotes model product numbers. Yeah he does that a lot. Number one back in the day I did that quite a lot. Did no go well.

Yeah. Do I say that a lot? Did no I say no quite a lot. That comes from David Brent doing did no get an agenda doesn't it?

Did no get an agenda. Yeah. And then number two tells an interview story. I'm trying to pepper the show with a bit of showbiz whatnot. A bit of glamour. A bit of glamour, mate. Have you interviewed anyone recently, Paul? And hentai.

Yeah, you do sell that. That's your default. The problem is... I'm down for a Dave Grohl on Tuesday. That might be a good one. Oh, that's very good, yeah. I'm down for it. It might not happen.

I might have to just sit around while they sound check or rehearse but I mean at least I get to see the Foo Fighters rehearse can we get him in get him in hello he'd love it

he'd love it he'd love this set up the key thing about here from this from Kev Button and we do appreciate you taking the time Kev and like Pete says we can't tell you

how to live your life we'll have a go have a think about it when I run out of things to say I just revert when we run out of things to say, I just revert. When we run out of things to say, I suppose we revert to type. But my type is just quite boring. Yeah.

Your type is essentially deviant. Hentai is one of my sayings. Yeah, hentai is definitely part of that. It is indeed. You definitely resort to that as part of your default thing. There's also some kind of things that he's noticed about the show as well. It's not necessarily about us. Battery mate quoted at the start of email.

That happens a lot. Pipe down, Pete. That's one of the sweepers, what we've got on the show. Bexell batteries mentioned in an email. That happens a lot. Pete's dad's sleeping pattern's discussed. It's been played too quietly. We don't do that.

We play the other stuff too quietly. We'll both look after Luke. Yeah, that's fair dues. Add brick starts mid-sentence. Fuck you. That is your fault, Dawson. That's not my fault. Men Carter intro not played at all.

Train slash Fox video mentioned. It wasn't a video, it was a picture. It was a picture, yeah. There's no video of it, yeah. Shows dentistry or cheese experts getting in touch. The reason we don't mention the Fox thing anymore is because we got an animal rights activist email and I got scared.

I heard the fox said it's just a load of cocaine. I wasn't endorsed. I mean we've made a run for our own back with cocaine then.

But we're not, the thing is, none of this is our fault. We're not endorsing this. The first part of the show email address read out as

short the football ramble. Yeah that's you, that's you. Or absolute radio, that's you. Oh if you want to text joy at 12.15

don't do that. No don't do that. It won't work. No it won't work. We'll go somewhere. Yeah we'll go somewhere. That's a great email from15, don't do that. No, don't do that. It won't work. No, it won't work. We'll go somewhere. Yeah, we'll go somewhere. That's a great email from Kev. I appreciate that.

That was enjoyable. So if you want to play along, we'll maybe post a picture of the drinking game online. Should we have a quick ad break and then do some emails? All right, then. Let's do that then, mate. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll both look after Luke.

We'll both look after Luke. If he feels sad with our mum and dad, we'll both look after Luke. We'll both look after Luke. If he feels sad with our mum and dad, we'll both look after Luke. Hey! We'll both look after Luke. Luke, do you feel looked after? I do feel really well looked after. I feel very safe.

I felt a bit here, to be honest. My asthma's been bad this week. Asthma? They gave me a slightly different inhaler, which is annoying, because I like my classics. What, were you not getting on with the one you had already?

No, they just ordered it wonkily, so they gave me an old-school inhaler, which is annoying, because I like my classics. What, were you not getting on with the one you had already? No, they just ordered it wonkily, so they gave me like an old school inhaler, one of those pressy button ones, rather than a turbo inhaler. Oh, okay. Which is very upsetting. Is it disrespectful of me to ask you to bring all that stuff in so I can watch you do it? No. No, you won't do it? No, it's not disrespectful. I was once in

a lady's presence, let's say. She was once in I was once in a lady's presence, let's say. She was in bed. And I used my inhaler. But the way you've said this, Pete, it's like you've stalked her. Like you've said, I was once in a lady's presence and she was in bed. She was in bed. I'd just come

out of the bathroom and the toilet, sorry. Through the window. The sink. The sink had split. I was just in my pants and the bath, the toilet, sorry, through the window, the sink, the sink, I was just in my pants and the sink had splashed my pants

so it looked like I wet myself and I came in and I had to, before I got to bed, take my inhaler. That is, she's thinking,

what a cat. I know. And I went, and I sort of finished and I looked down at this image of beauty and I went, oh, I'm not bringing anything. And I went, and I sort of finished and I looked down at this image of beauty and I went, oh,

I'm not bringing anything to the table here, am I? She had gone. She'd gone. She'd fallen asleep. How'd you, tell me now,

between you and I and the 50 or so listeners we've got, did you genuinely splash your pants or did you wet your pants? No, I genuinely smashed my pants.

Okay. What colour were the pants? I can't remember. What's the worst colour for showing up? I'd say grey. Sweat patches. Like a jogging bottom grey.

Oh, lovely. Because you get sweat patches badly, don't you? No, I don't. Oh, no, you don't because you had your sweat glands under your arms lasered.

I only used to sweat from underneath my arms and then I had them lasered and they are exponentially better. How much was it? I think it was Mirror Dry, it was called. It was very expensive, a couple of grand,

but it was bloody worth it. I spend a lot of money on a lot of fraff, and that was probably the best money I've ever spent. So well done, well done, Mirror Dry, for working with hyperdrysosis. Law of averages. Law of averages. I love Law of averages, she's brilliant.

Yeah, she's very, very good. I don't know if listeners would be aware that you had your armpit sweat glands lasered off. Didn't they would be? Probably, if they sent the football ramble or anything else we've done, because you're obsessed with it, Luke. I forgot about it. It's always a treat to be reminded of it. It's always the same routine, though. You always accuse me of being sweaty, and then I go, I'm not.

And then you go, oh, yeah. Yeah, because you used to be. That's why. I didn't. I used to sweat from my armpits from nowhere else. It's weird. It was weird. Okay.

But I wasn't, you know, I wasn't murderously sore. I was just a bit self-conscious about it at times. Apparently. So I recommended. And that's what I prey on. Apparently, Alistair Cook, the England cricketer, doesn't have it, doesn't sweat. He doesn't sweat at all. Apparently not, no.

It's incredible. Some people don't. And also, there are, it's a sliding scale of how bad sweat smells, if you know what I mean. Like, so you can't buy deodorant in the Far East, for example, because their genetic makeup means that the thing that makes sweat smell is the waste left behind

between the little microbes, basically. It's the waste that smells. And they don't secrete any waste or they don't secrete a waste or they don't secrete a certain kind of waste it's interesting you say that because we're right up there

at the top though I find well I find that if I'm really really nervous about something I smell a lot more yeah it's weird isn't it but my general

everyday sort of sweat doesn't really doesn't really smell I remember you were up in court for that thing yeah I was nervous then stinky Sam Blakely's been in touch.

Blake out. He's not been in court as far as I know. This is a good email. An email we did promise to do before that break, just there before Pete went and started talking about stuff. Sam says, hi gents, following your email from a Scottish man who had a 22-year-old sunbathing cat. Do you remember that?

Yes. He thought the cat was dead. It wasn't. It's a lovely story. If you are one of those animal rights activists listening, it's a lovely story. We love animals. What a lovely story.

Yeah. He said, I was reminded of a cat story from my childhood. I had a beloved black cat called Jason. Jason! Who was knocking on a bit, and at one point, Jason!

He hadn't returned home for a few days, and we were getting, for a few days, and we were getting a bit worried. I took a walk to see if I could find him, and lo and behold, there he was't returned home from a few days and we were getting for a few days and we were getting a bit worried I took a walk to see if I could find him and lo and behold there he was

by the side of the road dead don't laugh sorry tearily I took him home and we buried him in the front garden

along with a plethora of rabbits, hamsters and cats of the early 90s the next day as we prepared ourselves for life without Jason who should stroll into the house

but a black cat who looked remarkably like Jason. That's why I was laughing, because I remember the end of this email. I wasn't laughing because of the dead cat. We had buried somebody else's cat. Magical.

That's not funny either. Why? That's good. Responsible. Social responsible. My mum was a big fan of Stephen King, so she was worried it was a pet cemetery situation. But she soon realised the full reality of the thing,

and it was awful. Cats like to dig things up as well. Yeah. So what if the cat digs up his doppelganger? That would be a head fuck, wouldn't it? Yeah. For the cat. It starts, yeah.

Oh, I've got to stop sniffing glue. I smell a sitcom. Oh, they're traded places. And before, the cat that was really lazy is now really active. Isn't that incredible? My cats regularly sick up big blades of grass in the house. Oh, nice. Yeah.

I think they eat grass to help with their digestion. Like a cow? Yeah. And their three stomachs. Oh, speaking of which, I've got a question about that. Right.

So I was going for a walk in the countryside fairly recently and I saw there was a field full of sheep. Right. And these sheep, to my eye at least,

were quite big. Were you in an Apple store? Yeah. all political. Yeah. I told you about morning sheep, didn't I, the guy? Morning sheep. Oh, yeah, morning sheep. Anyway, so I walk past this field of sheep,

and this is possibly a really stupid question, but I'd still like to know the answer to it, and I'm not scared to put it out there just exactly how stupid I am. How does a sheep get that big and that complicated, that complex as an animal, only eating grass? How does it get everything it needs? What do you mean? Well, so sheep only eat grass, right?

Right. So do a lot of animals, actually. But the way I see it is that human beings become all these complex, amazing creatures by eating a varied diet, getting all the different nutrients they need. How is a sheep getting everything it needs just from grass? Because of all the protein and the... Just say you don't know.

What do you mean? It's just power and protein and stuff, isn't it? What do we need? We don't need to eat meat. We could eat the same thing. It wouldn't be great, but we could subsist on just grass, surely. What I'm saying is I understand

how a very, very simple organism would be able just to eat one particular type of thing. Yeah, but food isn't one particular kind of thing. It's a million different chemicals and a million different nutrients and a million different vitamins, isn't it? If all you eated between now and next year was grass, you'd die. I don't think... There's a test for next month.

The Donaldson get trim beach ready bikini plan we'll never be sure what material you're around anyway

it's a question if it's a stupid one email in hello at lukeandpeach.com tell me it's a stupid question I'm fine with that have you seen those

people who eat that new oh god what kind of stuff is it you see it on the internet quite a lot basically Silicon Valley have come up with

with is it soylent with a powder you mix with water and you just eat it like you just drink it basically we talked about that fuel is one of them fuel yeah and it's uh and it just makes you pump but why why the thing is sorry that would do bad things to your stomach because your stomach isn't actually getting anything to process properly is it no to digest essentially put some grass in there. We talked about this on tomorrow as well, didn't we?

Things they got wrong, little pills and stuff. Weird. Are we out of time? Have you got one more? No, let's get out of here because I was going to do a horrific story,

but I'll leave that to next week. So if you want to hear a horrific story, keep listening for episode 43. Yeah, it'll be episode 43. Yes, in your face, Luke Moore.

Short the... Hello at Lukeandpeachshow.com damn it drink drink your drink hello at lukeandpeachshow.com get involved don't get too drunk

on that devastating Luke and Peach drinking game between now and next show we'll see you soon Outro Music