The Luke and Pete Show - Episode 48: Super, smashing, great

Episode Date: March 22, 2018

Luke and Pete take time to pay their respects to Sir Ken Dodd, Jim Bowen and Stephen Hawking, all of whom sadly passed away recently. Once we've got that out of the way Pete, who is rapidly turning into Alex Jones' heir apparent, finds the time for another rant and we also get some emails on craft ale, the benefit to the economy of a large-scale sporting event, and the terrifying phenomenon of sleep paralysis.Before we chip off there's a Mencarta out of leftfield, so make sure to listen out for that, too.Offers of free lunches, invites to house parties and to give more Japanese lessons to Pete: [e-mail]***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I got really paranoid then, Luke, that our mics weren't recording anything. I was looking at the EQ, the meters, the sound meters, and it wasn't going from down on our microphones. And then I remembered, we weren't speaking. Imagine just being frightened all the time of everything. Just kind of like, because you're just not really paying attention. And you can get tired after a hard week of toothing. We talk about toothing on Monday.

Toothy Toother. Oh, that was the funniest thing. The lad's kind of username on this toothy thing was Toothy Toother. Was it? That was his nom de plume. How are you doing, everyone? It's Luke and Pete Shaw, episode 48. We're back, baby, and we're ready to get started with some more bread, toothing.

Yeah, whatever comes up, really. Whatever comes up, really. I'm Pete Donaldson. And I'm Luke Mert. Luke, it's been straight in, no messing about. Well, pleased you've done that because I would say something that approaches the egregious in what we missed on Monday was that we sadly lost a few decently well-known... Yeah, well, yeah, as per...

No, some well-known people passed away, unfortunately. Holy moly, it was crazy, wasn't it? It was. Hawking, Bowen, Dodd. Yeah. Hawking, Bowen, Dodd. Weirdly, the day before Ken Dodd died, Ken Dodd died, Ken Dodd,

Dad's dog dead? Wasn't that something? That's a joke, I think. It's like a punchline to a joke. Someone was talking to me about his puppet, one of the Diddy men. He's got his little puppet thing. We were talking about that and somebody texted me the name of the puppet

the day before he died. So spooky. So very spooky. I think he was quite a sort of challenging weird comedian back in the day. I think people didn't

know what to make of him. to make him revenue. To find him. Didn't he famously say I should pay tax because I live right next to the sea or something? Yeah, fantastic.

Lovely old job. Sir Ken Dodd. Sir Ken Dodd. Stephen Hawking didn't get knighted. Did he not? No. That's mental.

I know. Is it not wheelchair accessible, the old palace? I don't think that's got anything to do with it. I think if anything, you're more likely to get one. You reckon? Oh, all right. I'm just saying. Because a lot of it's to do with overcoming adversity and stuff like that,

and Hawking certainly did that. Anyway. Ken Dodd was almost chemically ugly. Bit rich. I agree, by the way. It's funny because Stephen Hawking famously said, my goal is simple. It's a complete understanding of the universe,

why it is as it is and why it exists at all. And Jim Bowen famously said, look what you could have won. He once went, Jim Bowen, not Stephen Hawking, let's make that very clear. Jim Bowen once went on the breakfast show I was working on, used the term gypo and we got an upheld Ofcom complaint from the Gypsy Council of Great Britain, who are actually very on things, as they should be.

Nobody should be using the word gypo in 2018, and certainly not 10 years ago when the show went out. But they're very on. If you ever, if anyone ever uses the word pikey or gypo or any of those terrible terms about terms about uh the gypsy um people uh they're very on it oh i don't know how they're listening to so much stuff we talked about offcom last week maybe this is of course we're playing a dangerous game here mate we're out of there we we say whatever we want we can be foul men well that's lucky given what's gone on the last 40

odd episodes i know um speaking of um that type of thing i walked i'm not gonna name anyone involved but i walked into a radio station to do some work not that long ago, got a quick briefing saying, please be careful, we're in the middle of an Ofcom situation, because one of the pundits we had on last week made a joke about Rohypnol. Oh, wow. I mean, I'm presuming what radio station you're talking about. I think there was another one, I think there was an off-call complaint,

but because somebody used said they had a Holocaust of a football match. And at the same time, another radio station. I told you that. I think I WhatsAppped you that. Did a joke about, about a joke about Anne Frank. When you see kind of,

you know, so-called comedic kind of. These aren't borderline things. No, it's just like you need, like even people who've been of... These aren't borderline things, are they? No, it's just like you need... Like, even people who've been working in the business for, like, 20 years can still find themselves in a situation

where they've gone a little bit too far and they've done something they're obviously not proud of. But seeing stuff written down, seeing gags written down, it looks so much worse. Because you get no idea of the tone of it. No, exactly. I mean, when Dr Fox Fox is up the old bill, having his shit, kind of like 50-year-old shit 70s dad joke wank,

like read out, is punishment itself to me. It's because it was pathetic. A pathetic man trying to make sexy, bawdy jokes and not doing them very well being utterly classless but having them sort of written down and read out in a court of law is punishment enough for me. It's embarrassing. He was found guilty

of all charges. Not guilty of all charges wasn't he? Who, Dr Fox? Yeah. Not guilty of all charges. Just to make that absolutely clear Dr Fox was found not guilty of all charges. I was going to say something else to you as well oh and when I was doing the research around Jim Bowen who I remember vaguely

from being, was he in Phoenix Knights briefly? He was in Phoenix Knights, I think he was in a couple of TV shows because he's shorthand for the 80s really isn't he? Right so he was in So I'm quite good at one! Yeah and I remember him obviously from Bullseye and that became a culture thing yeah of course but uh when

i when i was like looking into what he'd been up to apart from that i found quite an interesting article about um about 10 years ago he um he embarked on this project where he resurrected a 15 year old joke book right i mean i'm not presumably no one could tell the difference but what happened was i think they found some sort of old Egyptian, I think it was, or possibly Greek joke book. Right. I'm freestyling here because I can't fully remember. And they found the jokes in there, worked them up to date,

and Jim Bowen did them as part of a stand-up tour. That's quite interesting. That's quite an interesting thing to do, isn't it? That's quite good. I don't really like stand-up comedy that much, but I think that type of interesting angle on it is of interest to me, I would say. Yeah, he... Because it's the easiest thing

in the world for a guy of that age to go around the working men's clubs doing that old stuff. I think he did that as well. Yeah. I'm sure he did, but at least he's doing it a little bit different. Maybe I have a slightly less rosy image of him because I used to work for Challenge TV and I just write about 80 links

about Bullseye every week and I was just so fucking bored how did you do it without just doing Jim Bowden well he wasn't

allowed you weren't allowed to mention because he doesn't I think the TV show Bullseye doesn't own I think Super Smashing Great and Look What

You Could Have Won I think he owns those that's mad so Challenge TV weren't allowed to use Super Smashing Great or the other one so you know Michael Buffer great and look what you could have won. I think he owns those. That's mad. So Challenge TV won't allow you Super Smash and Great or the other one. So you know Michael Buffer, the boxing ring announcer? Yes.

He copyrighted the phrase, let's get ready to rumble. It's a great line though, isn't it? And he's made $400 million off it. Now that's... I'm being serious. That's not a conservative estimate, is it? I'm being serious because he licensed it to so much stuff. Yeah.

Like computer games, video games, movies, everything. He's made so much money off it. If you ever saw, you know when Hulk Hogan went to the other wrestling... WCW. WCW, when he was Hollywood Hogan for a while. That was due to the fact that Hulk Hogan, every time Hulk Hogan gets used in a product, some money goes to

Marvel it's incredible Hulk where does oh that's interesting so if you want more facts like that wrestle me the podcast what Pete where does the Hogan in his name

come from he's not called Hogan is he oh I don't know he's called Terry Bollea isn't he yeah yeah yeah I don't know where that came from

he's a he's a tragic figure now because obviously he was because he got ousted as a massive racist because he he kind of he did that stuff and as a massive racist. Because he kind of... Yeah, he did that stuff and the WWE don't want anything to do with him

and he just seems to spend all his time sat on lawn furniture on his... He must be wealthy now. On his little private beach in Florida just sort of looking out to sea. Florida's where all the crazy stuff happens in the US. I know, Florida man. Very famous.

Do you want to end this little section by sparing a word and indeed a thought for the late, great Stephen Hawking, Pete? Yeah, I mean, the thing about Stephen Hawking is people who co-opt his legacy and co-opt his life and stuff. What do you mean by that? Well, it's people on Twitter who are like pop scientists, pop physicists. You don't like Brian Cox, do you?

And they all sort of no I do I like all those people I think they're very talented and I think there is a place for people who can explain scientific works

very easily you can't explain it to a lay audience you don't understand it well enough yeah exactly and I understand nothing it's just like

when he died it's just everybody rushed to Twitter and gave their speech like they're the fucking president I'd boil my piss a little bit yeah I don't like that

that happens with every dead person though yeah one thing that sort of struck me it's not Stephen Hawking's fault no it's not he seemed to be

a very I quite like the stories that are coming out and it's annoying that they've only come out when he died like how funny he was no I think generally

people understood that people like the cut of his jib generally the one thing I didn't like about all that. I mean, people like the cut of his jib generally. The one thing I didn't like about all that stuff you're mentioning there is the fact that loads of people

just instantly claim to be on, you know, really intimate terms with all this literature. It's like, listen, we all bought a brief history of time.

None of us could get through it. We couldn't read it. None of us understood it. That's fine. Don't pretend you did. No, exactly. Actually, the best... I love dickheads on Twitter,

usually men, kind of sort of giving a contrary view. Well, you know, he was... He understood kind of the potential of the universe, but he didn't understand the actual science behind it. He was Professor Stephen Hawking, mate. Grow up. I love a mansplainer apparently

the only reason he didn't win a Nobel Prize is because as far as I understand his most well known work that would have been eligible for it

it's never actually been confirmed or actually viewed or cited it's to do with mini black holes and he famously said in a couple of his lectures

that it's a shame that these have never been found because if they were um please someone go out and find them because it means i'll get a nobel prize and they never were unfortunately so he never actually won the nobel prize i mean it's one of those things where um the nobel prize is so difficult to get there's very few kind of like if you work in like a pr or marketing you get an award every second week if you work in football you're gonna you get an award every second week. If you work in football, you're going to stumble upon a championship title at some point, or a championship promotion trophy,

or an FA Cup. But with stuff like that, there's only a couple given out every year. It's about as difficult as it is to get as a prize. When I said to you before, I think I've said to you once or twice, I understand the benefit of awards, that I don't, I mean, I understand the benefit of awards and that kind

of stuff, and I understand some of them are worth more than others, but again, it's that whole thing about there's just too many of them, and a lot of them are just founded by the industry anyway. If I was up for a Nobel Prize, I think I'd be more enthusiastic about it. The only reason I know about this is because of Good Will Hunting, really,

but there's that mathematics medal the Fields Medal which they only give that out once to one person every five years isn't that incredible yeah it's cool isn't it

I mean that is the rarest of the rare we've got an email here from Stephen Hawking anyway saying Pete why didn't you read my book I know you bought it but shall we do emails not enough pictures

not enough pictures yeah we'll take a we'll take a shot at Sojourn and we'll be back with some emails. I'm very, very good. I like that guy. Yeah, who is it?

Is it a guy? Yeah. Yeah. Is it a guy? Have you heard his voice? I couldn't tell if it was like a sort of deep-voiced woman. Deep-voiced woman, and I don't care. Did you bash your thing on the table?

Shall I do an email first? Yeah, so do you.. Did you bash your thing on the table? Should I do an email first? Yeah, so do you want? Do you want? What do you want? Just trying to look. I've got one about

vomiting. I'm not sure if it's appropriate really. It's always appropriate. Come on now. It's what I live for. All right, I'll do it. Vomiting, pooping.

Okay, this is another anonymous email and it will become clear why it's anonymous. This is definitely a bloke emailing. He says, Dear Luke and Pete, on the subject of inappropriate vomiting.

Did we talk about that a couple of weeks ago? Did we ever talk about appropriate vomiting? No, we talked about the idea of being able to stop one's self-vomiting, didn't we? So I guess that's what he means. He says, A tale from a couple of years ago still occasionally wakes me up in a cold sweat

during the middle of the night. I was working for a church, and you shouldn't be doing all this stuff from a couple of years ago still occasionally wakes me up in a cold sweat during the middle of the night. I was working for a church. And you shouldn't be doing all this stuff in a house of God. That's the first point. And part of the deal was I lived in a church house without paying rent. And I was in the master bedroom, which had a lovely new cream carpet. The house was maintained by a woman who, quite frankly, scared the crap out of me. Why is it that some aspects

of churches are quite scary? Oh, spooky as hell. Whoever, like, if you meet someone who works in a church, you're like... Not only that, the angle I was sort of

going down was almost that if you were wandering through the countryside of some country or whatever, you didn't know anything and you needed somewhere to stay, presumably a church is the place you should be going

because it's sanctuary, right? Almost quite literally. But I think I'd be quite scared sleeping in a church on my own at night. Wouldn't you? In a big old sort of church. Big old church. Big old church. Sat on a pew, having a little light.

Take a pew. Take a pew. Take a pew. He said, I woke up suddenly in the middle of the night with a stomachache. Mistake number one was thinking it would pass, and so I stayed in bed. It didn't pass.

Moments later, I was vomiting a vivid orange bolognese vomit all over the cream carpet next to my bed. If you're eating your porridge on the way to work, listen to this. I apologise. He says, mistake number two is I went back to sleep. I woke up the next morning still feeling grim to the smell of putrid sick right next to me.

Coincidentally, that day was also the day my then newish girlfriend and now fiancé was travelling the three hours or so to stay with me and the family for a few days. Missing that was non-negotiable. Mistake number three, I left the sick on the cream carpet and didn't return for four days.

Now, I'm sorry. Oh, no. I'm sorry. No. You deserve everything you get for this. Hugely. You've got to take responsibility. It's like the getting drunk and the hangover thing.

The hangover is, appropriately enough, God's way of saying you got drunk last night, you had your fun, now you're getting punished. It's a yin and yang thing. The balance of the universe must remain. If you're going to be sick because you couldn't be asked to get out of bed, you've got to clean it up. Always take a paramol.

I don't even know what that is. It's codeine and paracetamol. You shouldn't take too much codeine, actually, but it's excellent for hangovers. Again, it's time for the weekly announcement that Pete is not a medical professional. No. He says, I arrive home post-weekend and my housemate asks me

whether I can smell something funny coming from my room. I walked into my room and I immediately gagged because the vomit had not gone anywhere. It's not going to go anywhere, is it? No, it's not going to evaporate. Oh, the sick fairy's going to clean it up. It soaked into the carpet, leaving a huge orangey-brown stain and it stank quite bad.

Two years and several dozen bottles of carpet cleaner later, the smell had finally gone and only a small remnant of the stain remained. I moved out of the house last summer and so far no one has been in touch about a slightly brown patch on the carpet. All the best, Anonymous. And this is the best bit of the email.

P.S. Please don't read my name out. I really am terrified of this woman. And yet you vombed on her carpet and left it for four days. That P.S. Disgusting. The very idea that this woman's going to be listening to our show is stupid. But the P.S. almost made me read the name out.

But I won't. I think someone in the church is kind of, somebody who works in a church is kind of probably a bit ethereal. She could probably figure out, could probably know everything, I suppose. And then presumably instantly forgive him. Yeah, exactly. Forgive me, woman. But yeah, I mean, that is horrible, isn't it?

Kind of just leaving it for four days. It's one of the best, I know people who are much more versed in comedy than me will have their own opinions on the man but one of the best Peter Kay lines

is that I spent ages praying for God to give me a new bike then I realised it wasn't happening so I stole one and asked for forgiveness

that's nice hello to Sam Westover Sam Westover this is a craft deal rant oh yeah certainly a reference to is a craft beer rant. Oh, yeah. Or certainly a reference

to my craft beer rant. There is now officially glitter craft beer. What's the point of it? As a craft beer drinker, I can't imagine waking up in the morning going for a poo

and waking up with glitter in it. I imagine the craft beer connoisseurs will start comparing the glitter digestion ability and the level of hop in the glitter. Please find video evidence below. Have you watched the video? I've not watched the video.

You'd be raging. I presume it's a video of a craft ale that's got glitter in it. Glitter apparently is incredibly bad for the environment. I can imagine. Microbeads all over again. Microbeads, yeah. Terrible.

Apparently they keep finding, not unsafe amounts because it is pretty safe, but a surprising amount of plastic in bottled water. Yeah, I heard that on the Radio 4 Today programme this morning, saying that there's enough for it to be noteworthy but not to be unsafe. I'll say what I said time and time again, get yourself a reusable water bottle. Get yourself a reusable water bottle. Something you always take the mickey out of me for.

Well, the problem is you screw the top in every time you kind of stop drinking. It's weird. What's wrong with that? Well, just place it on top. You're always going to open the bottle again. You sort of really diligently close it up. It's just weird.

I like that you get annoyed by that because it's quite a weird thing to be annoyed by you prefer me to drink it and just leave the top resting yeah

but what happens if I knock it over what happens if you knock anything over what happens if you knock a cup of tea over it's madness man well this cup of tea

has got a lid on it madness I don't need a sippy cup not to tip something over you are very clumsy to be fair no I'm not comparatively

you get away you get away with not being sort of seen as clumsy because you work with jim every day that's why exactly yeah he is the clumsy like he is almost psychotically clumsy it's it's weird do you want um do you want an email from cameron about um great uh hartley bill b Cameron's the reason the reason Cameron's email is getting read out is because he genuinely attached a copy of his PhD thesis to the email expecting us to read it brilliant

he says hello chaps late comer to the show so I'm only getting to the 2018 episodes now I've learnt so many cool things about humanity half of those things might well be untrue

and a man who eats bread he's wiped in a toilet seat and you've got a PhD Cameron so I wouldn't be taking our word for it anyway in episode 38 he says you two were talking about the abandoned fairground with a ride called nightmare or something similar the conversation moved towards other abandoned structures like the pool with the desks stacked in it pete which you talked about obsessed and

eventually led to pete's claim that hosting an event like the olympics is empirically bad for the host nation financially i'm here to tell you that's not necessarily true. What? In the final semester of my undergraduate economics career, I was able to combine my love of football and my path of study to form my senior thesis where I analysed the feasibility of hosting a mega sporting event such as the World Cup or more pertinent to your conversation,

the Olympics. I hope the mega sporting event was listed in the PhD. Mega-sporting event. Speaking of that, I think reading that there, it's not a PhD, it's just a degree. But anyway, probably still more qualified than you or I because you didn't graduate from your university because you had overdue library books

and my university wasn't worth a thing. I won't bore you with all the details, says Cameron, just some key points. If you look back to every Olympics or World Cup host in the past 30 years, there is undoubtedly a strong economic boom for that nation during the event itself, but only 50% of those nations experience

larger-than-normal positive economic growth over the next 10 years after the event. So, if it's uncertain whether or not your nation will financially benefit from hosting in the long run, why do so many keep bidding for the opportunity? The short answer would be that every bidding nation thinks they can break the slightly negative trend by taking advantage of the massive increase

in international visibility that comes with hosting. A great example of this would be South Africa, who hosted the World Cup in 2010. In the years since that fantastic event, tourism has exploded in South Africa, and more generally, there are more people educated about the nation and its history, which can only be a good thing. To summarise even more succinctly, there's only a 50-50 chance your nation will benefit from hosting a mega sporting event, but that ratio is far more favourable for smaller nations who want to be put on the map.

Attached to the full thesis for no other reason than to show you I'm not completely making everything up. Keep up the good work, Cameron. Again, Cameron, I may well read your thesis at some point. It's unlikely. I've only thumbed through it for now. I'm sure you understand. But I think we've both got to the stage in our life now, Pete,

where we're happy to take people's words for it, aren't we? Oh, goddammit. I mean, if you don't even want to bother emailing in, just draw a picture of what you're trying to fucking say and I'll read it out we busted the

yawning myth last week last show so we don't need to do another myth busting show today I think weren't we referencing the fact that

stadiums are expensive and the area around the stadiums isn't always it's written about fairly extensively by I think the guys in

Freakonomics or it's Why England Lose by Simon Cooper and it's one of those two books it might even be Why England Lose

which has now been re-updated to be called Soccernomics I think which is a terrible title yeah but it's it talks about it in there it talks about it in there

because I think a lot of the time I think it's particularly in the US they'll PR it by saying we want to build a new stadium because it will create loads of the time particularly in the US they'll PR it by saying we want to build a new stadium

because it will create loads of jobs be great for the local economy and he was drilling down into the numbers and saying that's not necessarily true and I think our anger

was more of a look at all these abandoned Olympic villages type thing but I think London wasn't too bad I think London 2012 Olympics has been given

a lot of criticism for the lack of a legacy in terms of kids participating in sport. Right. But I think things like the Olympic Village, which is now, which has turned into affordable housing, and the miraculously smooth and successful transition of the Olympic Stadium to a

football venue, has been okay. Was it affordable housing? Because, I mean, this is London, after all. Well, look, affordable housing, I don't know what the definition for affordable housing is technically. It's something ridiculous, but that's what they called it. There's a difference between affordable housing

and also sustainable kind of social housing. My background is very much working for a government housing quango and helping people move out of London to housing stock that's kind of underutilised. And my take on it is that no new houses for social, you know, people who are on council benefit are being made anymore, and it's disgraceful. How long ago is it since you did that?

Endlessly disgraceful. It's still going on, if not even worse. No, but how long have you been working on it? Oh, well, I was working for five years, six how long have you been working on it? Oh, well, I was working for five years, six years. But you've been doing this for... Yeah, I know.

I'm just saying, that's my background, though, isn't it? You're out of the loop. Well, if nothing else, the problems have got even harder to deal with in social housing

and certainly the London boroughs anyway. Disgraceful. All down to Thatcher's right-to-buy plan where people could buy their own council houses because that fucking Tory ideal of owning your own house,

which took so much stock out of the social housing concern, now that we don't have any council houses, people are just living on top of each other. A national disgrace. Why don't you do some more chat about sexy stuff? Sexy stuff? Yeah. All right, then.

I don't know whether this is sexy. No, but I mean, you always like talking about sex or sort of bodily fluids. Oh, okay. Well, that's what we're all about, isn't it, mate? I'm just trying to help you stay on brand. That's what we're all about.

Hello to... Actually, can you fill for 10 seconds? Yeah, sure. No worries. Yeah, all right. So, I mean, the Craftdale thing we went back to about the glitter,

presumably you're just not having that. Yeah, no, I'm not having that. The Olympic legacy type stuff has caused you to go on a massive rant about housing. Is that enough time? That is enough time. That is enough time. It's quite meta when we do that.

What I should say, rather, I should feel like an actual professional and say, if you do want to get in touch, email us at hello at lukeandpeach.com and you too can be a part of this daring do you too i'd love them to get involved to be quite a minute probably we could have the edge in that we've only got two spare chairs at the moment probably oh we've got one in the corners we've got three we could have the edge and bono you'd probably pick them yeah and you'd have um adam clayton over there and and the drummer outside he's the dull one isn't he he, Clayton? He doesn't really do much, does he?

Are they your mum's cataract glasses? Hello to George Wicks, George Boy! Hi guys, based on several experiences I've had in my short 26 years, the most recent being a week ago, I thought I'd ask whether you guys and the listeners had also survived the terrifying horror show that is Sleep Paralysis. Yeah, good, this is rich subject material. Oh, it's horrible. Sleep Paralysis is essentially being conscious during REM sleep

when the brain is still active. An episode lasting only a couple of minutes will render one completely unable to move or talk. The feeling of intense pressure on the chest and can involve, on occasion, sinister hallucinations. Throughout history, it was believed to be the work of demons that would sit on the chest on unsuspecting sleepers, sometimes to engage in sexual activity with them.

Shots would be a fine thing. Several different cultures have their own theories, from evil genies to witches and ghosts. It's also been used to explain supernatural phenomena such as alien abduction and demonic possession. More recently, and probably more reliable scientific research suggests it can actually be caused of a lack of sleep, jet lag, and even just sleeping on your back. I know

that sleep paralysis is harmless, but this is of little comfort when the shadow in the corner of my room consistently takes the form of a tall featureless figure with a wide brimmed hat. Sleep well gents. It could just be your dad that. Could be the undertaker. The worst thing about George Wicks'

email, and I think we should tackle some of the subjects within it because it is interesting is that the font he used to email in is an absolute disgrace. If you're going to bombard people

with a size 72 font I thought you just printed it out wrong. No. Wow. You deserve everything you get in terms of night terrors in my opinion.

Sorry about your sleep paralysis. It's a horrible thing. George, George, think of it from our point of view. We have to read through hundreds of emails.

I've got three emails on my email while doing the show today. We have to read through them all. Do them in the right font. Do them in the font. You're ranting about housing. I'm ranting about font sizes. This part of the email, Pete, where George talks about the idea to explain supernatural phenomena such as

alien abduction to me that sounds absolutely right don't you reckon that's got to be the explanation for this perceived idea oh god yeah

anything like that anything it's always something to do with that isn't it and I often thought this idea of demonic possession

which you would associate with sort of Victorian times really speaking in tongues and stuff yeah and medieval that's presumably some sort of that's a sort of hangover from the era when we didn't have any understanding of mental

illness basically right uh yes yeah i mean yeah would you agree with that i would say that's um very much part of it have you ever had a night terror uh no i'll occasionally jump up at the start but that's uh everyone does that that's an evolutionary thing isn't it yeah i'd say this week i've just i've been dreaming about editing podcasts have you really it's terrible isn't it absolutely dreadful um the worst the worst um sort of type of nightmare or dream i tend to have is is the dream where you've dreamed that you haven't had any sleep right yeah you've been sleeping the whole time yeah it's weird it's really odd i mean the dj anxiety anxiety dream is very popular for me you sort of get in

and none of the buttons work and I can't talk and stuff like that. I mean, it's not dissimilar to what actually happens when I go into a radio studio. Is that seriously like an anxiety dream

that you will have as a radio presenter? All the time. You ask anybody who's ever DJed, that will be the number one dream they get. It's just like you'll go in

and the computers aren't working and you try and speak and you mess it up and the manager's there and all that stuff. Could you feel, how long could you feel on a radio show?

Oh, about 10 seconds. Really? About 10 seconds. I'm dreadful at that kind of thing. I start sentences in the middle. Anyone listening to this

nonsense will understand, but like... We do the best under these circumstances, don't we? I've usually... You kind of get me out of a lot of holes.

Yeah. But never mind. Because you couldn't just do like a proper radio, American radio shock jock hour of just chat. No. If I had someone with me,

definitely. I reckon, you know, if we did one, maybe, I reckon we'd probably pile through, but, yeah.

But it's just a case of imagining the responses, isn't it? Imagining what the other person who's not there is going to say, and then you're away. And then some people will say, Peter, put your trousers on.

And I go, no, I'm not wearing my trousers. And here's why I'm not wearing trousers. I like letting my legs out. Can we do a quick mankata before we leave? I would absolutely bloody love you to do that. I need to find the bloody production. There we go. Let there be justice for all.

Let there be peace for all. Let there be peace for all. It's one small step for man. You don't understand. Willie was a salesman. Say simply, very simply, with hope, good morning. Yeah! I tried to stop that and I was like, I'm going to defeat that man who got upset about my Mankata jingle

I think it's become part of the furniture I think it's fine yeah I think people find it endearing and on that Mankata jingle which is the jingle that keeps on giving and once again

we genuinely do not have the rights to it so hopefully no one notices our good friends at Microsoft but the little tenor sax that comes in I've only just started noticing that. Yeah, it's nice. It's nice.

Lovely old job. Silly string. I want to talk about silly string, Luke Moore. Nice. I wasn't expecting to say that. A big... Something that occasionally punctuated my childhood. I know, yeah.

I do like a bit of silly string. It's weird that our parents... It's kind of cold and wet. Yeah, but it's weird that our parents... It's kind of cold and wet. Yeah, but it's weird that our parents let us just spray it around the house. I'd go mad if someone did that in my house now. Apparently, right, I've been reading that silly string and similar kind of silly string-style products have been used by the American and British military forces

to detect tripwires. That's good. Isn't that incredible? Because the string's sprayed over the suspected area and if the string falls to the ground, no tripwires are present

since the string would catch on the tripwires. But if it is, obviously it'll hang in the air where the tripwires are. But it's not heavy enough to kind of actually set off the tripwire itself.

Very good. Isn't that good? So it's almost like the equivalent of when you see in Mission Impossible they spray the mist to see the red lasers. To see that good? So it's almost like the equivalent of when you see in Mission Impossible they spray the mist to see the red lasers. You get to see the red lasers, yeah.

But this is very much... Why did you read this? Wikipedia. That's wicked. Military use of silly string. As of 2006, obviously a little while ago now, but it was being used

by US troops in Iraq for this purpose. To detect tripwires. But you're going to give away your position. Sprint, silly street. Bright pink. That's not a silly street, that's a party popper, Dave, stop it. Have you got any

of that in camo flower? Because we are leaving a pink trail wherever we go. Well, because the material is an aerosol, it can't be shipped privately to Iraq, and so it's not provided by any official channels. So 80,000 cans

were stockpiled in New Jersey unintentionally. So that's pretty good, isn't it? There's a big New Jersey based silly string mountain, which I quite enjoy. When was the last time you fired off some silly string? I don't know. It's been a while, actually. I've not got involved in that kind of caper for a little while.

I can't really remember why we used to have it. Did you just get it from a joke shop or something? Yeah, I think so a while, actually. Yeah, I've not got involved in that kind of care for a little while. I can't really remember why we used to have it. Did you just get it from a joke shop or something? Yeah, I think so. All that stuff. A lot of compressed air in joke shops. There was a brilliant shop in Portsmouth. I'm not sure if it's still there. It probably isn't, sadly, called You Need Us.

And it was such a good joke shop. It's like a Manic Street Preacher. Yeah, you love us. I don't know why it was called that. But it was such a good joke shop. You need us! And I was such a nerd that me and my pals used to go there

like specially and it was about a 20 minute drive away yeah but I mean joke shops are just fun for kids like you know I was about 17 or 18

pepper flavoured sweets snapping gum snapping gum was one of my favourites but the problem is like they would always have like off brand kind of gum

designs on the side. No one would ever fall for it. Stupid, really. I used to love a whoopee cushion, love a Bronx chair. Love that classic design of someone sitting down. Half-drawn, kind of like a 1920s

comic strip. It's so badly done. It's so old school. It's kind of like done with ink and pen and it's kind of like, you know, when sat upon, this cushion will deliver a genuine

Bronx cheer. And the dog in the background is going, poop, and he's kind of fainting because of the smell. Have you ever heard

the phrase Bronx cheer outside of that? No. No, I never have either. It's like box social. No one does it anymore. What's that? It's like a,

is it a dance or something? It's like an old New York-y kind of name. It's like box social. No one does it anymore. What's that? It's like a... Is it a dance or something? It's like an old New York-y kind of name. The Harlem Shake? Yeah. Ha! Ha! Harlem Shake. So is that your favourite aspect of the joke shop,

the whoopee cushion? The whoopee cushion. I can't believe it's taken us 48 episodes to start talking about joke shops. Yeah, joke shops. Itching powder. Yeah. I mean, that's just got to be asbestos, isn't it?

You look at it, it's just like filaments, isn't it? Let's talk about the undoubted crown prince, the emperor of joke shop products, the stink bomb. The stink bomb. A lad used to set them off in Asda quite a lot, in Hartlepool. They'd just smash it. And Asda would always fucking stink. Yeah.

Because obviously you set it off and you just leave, and no one knows who's done it. We used to, there was a pub, it's not there anymore, near where I grew up, where we used to just let everything off in there.

We used to let off those paintballing smoke grenades in the toilet. Jesus Christ. And stink bombs, yeah. You're a disaster. Stink bombs are bad because they stick around for ages.

Yeah. It's awful. It's like being sick on a cream carpet and just leave carpet for four days I know they were like little test tubes weren't they with a yellow liquid in them

yeah those are terrible I'll tell you what it's just sulphur isn't it I wonder if kids still do that now just do stuff like that it's probably

now because of getting Asbo Asbo's didn't exist when we were kids we could get away with whatever we fancied you still got an ankle brace didn't you

that was for stalking though to be fair. Yeah, that was, yeah. All right, let's get out of here. All right, darling. Well, we'll see you next week if you want to get to the show. As always, it's...

Hello? I'm not helping you out. Hello at lukenpeachshow.com. That's right. It's as simple and as unalloyed as that, to be quite frank. Goodness me. Goodness me.

The Pete Donaldson goodness me is the finest catchphrase in sports entertainment. Goodness me. It Pete Donaldson goodness me is the finest catchphrase in sports entertainment. Goodness me. It's been. It's been.