The Luke and Pete Show - Episode 5: Opened Up Like a Chrysanthemum

Episode Date: July 3, 2017

In the fifth instalment of Luke and Pete's Summer, the Little and Large of the podcasting world discuss museum exhibitions, knuckle dusters and setting fire to a million quid.They also find time - with the help of a listener - to rationally explain the existence of ghosts. So listen and never be frightened again. Of ghosts. I mean, there are other things to be scared of, of course. Like Pete. Say hello: [e-mail] Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Pete Donaldson, Luke Moore with you, it's Luke and Pete Summer, how the devil are you Luke? Alright, I'm alright thanks, how are you Peter? We're ready to get going, what episode is this, five, episode five? How have we made it this far? How have we made it this far? How have we made it this far? It's the middle of summer. It is. We're both wearing shorts.

Our pasty white legs are out and enjoying the air. There's not much air in the studio, sadly. There isn't. There never is, is there? You've been all right? Pretty good, yes. You've been keeping yourself in shape? No.

You know the answer to that one. It's the summertime. I've been keeping out of trouble. That's the main thing. Okay. How about yourself? It's the summertime when the weather is something. Isn't that a song?

Yeah, it's horrible, isn't it? Actually, straight off the bat, straight off the bat, a friend of mine at uni, who used to live with, used to go out with Mungo, Jerry's daughter, and he is wealthy on that one song. I bet he is.

I mean, it's a very popular song, but what I would say in that song, as I think you were going to... Was it? Have a drink, have a drive. Yeah. And also, if your daddy's... If her daddy's...

Rich. Rich. Take her out from here. If her daddy's... Poor. Just do what you feel. Do what you feel. That's no message, is it?

Seriously. What is he meaning by that could you get hold of mungo jerry and find out exactly what that means and if it means what i think it means court please seriously if our daddy's poor do whatever you want do whatever you want we do not respect the working class members of our society in this country and i'll have it no other way disgusting yeah but anyway very, very, very wealthy on that one song alone, Mungo Jerry. What's his real name? Ray Dawson?

Jerry. I think Ray Dawson, maybe. Ray Dawson. But I have to say, actually, a week or two ago, I got mixed up with my drummers. I talked about Led Zeppelin reforming with Zach Starkey. It was, of course, Jason Bonham who played the drums. John Bonham's son. Oh, John Bonham's son.

Zach Starkey was something else. Right. So, sorry about that. Zach Starkey played with Oasis for a while, didn't he? He did, yeah. So I've got my drummers mixed up. I mean, Sue me, I'm not a drummer. It's been one week since we met,

and we've been doing some things, haven't we, Luke? You say that, Pete. We haven't been doing an awful lot, have we? Have you been quite quiet? Yeah. Have you had a quiet time? I have. I'll tell you something now.

The heady, dramatic days of a bird flying into my living room feels like a different lifetime. I have. I'll tell you something now. The heady, dramatic days of a bird flying into my living room feels like a different lifetime. I know. So quiet for you. What I will say before we move on to the main part is that I didn't tell you this, actually. I forgot to tell you. I was working at a place which will remain nameless a couple of weeks ago. And I promise you there was almost a full-on adult fist fight in the office right is it the place you uh used to work no right no so it's a different office oh i think i know where it is okay pete pete unlike you i don't get that many jobs so it's not it's not difficult to narrow it down casual observers will be able to figure out exactly what this is yeah what happened um

well i can't really give you the details without giving all the information away, so I won't, but... Just say parties A and B, possibly C. Okay, no, it was parties A and B. Right. If anything, I was

party C and a friend of mine was party D. There was only four people in the office. Right. And it was one of those things where... It was Mackie D.

Yeah, that was last week. Or the week before. It's one of those situations where it's difficult to explain, but I hope you understand what I mean. You very rarely, in London anyway, you very rarely see in a sober, daytime environment...

A scrap. Yeah, and the closest you're going to get, and I'm sure it's the same in all the other cities around the world as well, is the sort of commute annoyance type. Yeah, a bit of road rage maybe. Yeah, that type of stuff. On the A4. This was like a proper nose to nose.

I was thinking, I might have to step in and try and separate this. I know the place that you're talking about. No, you don't. Don't make a big deal out of it. I'm not making a big deal out of it, but it sounds like the sort of thing that might happen more often than you think.

Every day. Yeah, but how do you rate yourself? It's time out time. But Pete, you're not the sort of guy to step in and break up a scrap are you you know what luke that you're bang wrong because i always will and i have got punched almost on like several occasions certainly in a football situation but in pubs and stuff i always jump in so and i've been threatened on my own in case they get my you know teeth knocked in thinking about that does sound more like you. What has happened is, on occasion,

I've sort of pulled a bloke back, and they've been sort of like, who is this person trying to pull me back? And they'll look down at me, because they're invariably bigger than me, and they'll go, who the flip do you think you are? Yeah. And I'll go, I've pulled off more than I can chew.

But you've stepped in as a peacemaker, and you're going to be involved, if you like it or not. Yeah, okay. Peacemaker. Anyway, so I thought I'd mention that, because I couldn't really think of another situation. I mean, I'll be absolutely delighted to hear from any listeners who've witnessed a full-on, sober, actual fistfight in an office environment. Is that the end of the story? Two men almost had a fight?

Could you sort of elucidate a little bit? Could you kind of like... Was there a particular subject in question did it come out of nowhere was this kind of a simmering uh problem these guys have had before i think i've rhetorically bitten off more than i can see it was just like a just just like a one man stepping up to another man because another man done something pretty bad and um there was talk of if I was 10 years younger and all this sort of stuff

and it got a little bit heated and a little bit more heated than you would normally associate as being comfortable in an office but what I want to do is I want to hear from I've never ever witnessed

a full on fist fight in a sober office environment I'm sure it must happen I want to hear about it from listeners I'm putting it out there I've seen some flouncing some world class flouncing

some people getting really upset because they can't have their own way. But you've always worked in the media, haven't you? Yeah, the presence of your fist fight's going to break out there. Exactly. I've had loads of office-based jobs that haven't related to the media, and I've also worked in factories and done labouring and stuff like that,

and I've still never seen anything too untoward. Well, I carry a flick knife for that very reason. Do you want me to redo your little jingle? Because I feel like I've digressed too much. Okay. It's been... There we go, that's much better. It's been one week since we brought anything to the show and tell table

and those of a keen eared persuasion will remember last week Peter, you brought something fascinating which was, was it last week or the week before? I think it was last week. Okay. You talked about Soviet money being dumped in a disused rocket mine um and some investigating uh went on and they actually found it well i would like to talk about money as well

okay this time around i want to talk about um a book i've recently read called uh chaos magic and the band burnt a million pounds by john higgs it's about the klf yeah and uh for those um we often are guilty of dropping things in, what we would call for the teenagers here, i.e. things that are basically too old for anyone younger than us to remember. But the KLF were a huge band. It's understated how huge they were in the early 90s, particularly 1991,

when they were the biggest selling artist in the UK. If you think of the artists around then, I mean, Madonna, people like that, they outsold everyone in the UK. I didn think of the artists that were around then, I mean, Madonna, people like that, they outsold everyone in the UK. I didn't particularly like their music, though. That's why I find that more difficult to understand. Get out.

I loved them. One of my favourites, the KLF, aka the Justified Agents of Movement, aka the K Foundation. You can read up about them online, but the thing that's particularly notable about them is the type of characters they were. They're very interesting, almost like artists-for-art's-sake type characters. They disbanded in 1992

and deleted their whole back catalogue, so no one can purchase their music even now. So that's probably why not many people talk about them now, because their music isn't really part of the public consciousness now. You wouldn't see it on a Mercedes advert, let's say. You wouldn't. But in 1992, after an appearance at the Brit Awards, they officially disbanded.

At the Brit Awards, they had to be talked down from dismembering a sheep and chucking it into the crowd. They compromised by doing a cover version of one of their singles, or no, a version of their own single, with Extreme Noise Terror, this mad sort of death metal. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Then they finished by firing machine guns with blanks in them into the audience,

like proper machine guns with blanks. And then on the way out of the show, they dumped this dead sheep outside the after-show party and they were never seen again. But in 1995, they signed a pact to never talk about their endeavours ever again for 23 years and they never have done, so that's coming up next year. Right.

But what I want to talk about here is that on the 23rd of August, 1994, they were left with a million pounds after all their expenses and all the tax and everything. Their royalties amounted to roughly about a million pounds. Yeah. So the two of them, Jimmy Corty and Bill Drummond, took an observer journalist and a mate of theirs to film it,

and they travelled up to the Isle of Jura off the coast of Scotland and burnt the million pounds in its entirety. A million pounds were to £50 notes in a disused boathouse on this remote Scottish island. Jim Reid, the writer who was there from New Zerva, he was a witness. He's absolutely convinced it was real. It definitely happened. It was later commented that about 900,000 pounds of it went up in flames and around 100,000 pounds was blown out the chimney right and also

people could kind of well go and collect it report but there's no one living there other than like farmers and and i don't really know too much about the population of jira at the time but there wasn't it wasn't hugely populated was it scottish tennis yeah and uh and apparently 50 pound notes were being found by farmers locally for like a while after one farmer found 1500 pounds beautiful you hand them to a local police station and they tried to return it to um to the two guards but they didn't return their calls um and a lot has been going on since about why they did it and whether it was the right thing to do and obviously some people would say it's um it's sort of you know philosophically quite quite appalling given there's a lot of people around who would need that money and all that other stuff.

And the only quotes I could find that they've said about it really, I mean, the book is well worth a read, but one of them said, the Kay Foundation, that's them, may not have changed or challenged much, but they have certainly provoked thousands to question and analyse the power of money and the responsibilities of those who possess it, and what could be more artistic than that. Essentially, they took all their money, burnt it, deleted all their back catalogue and have never

really done an awful lot of music since and whether they will next year after they're packed to have a vow science runs out or not remains to be seen. But I thought that is a fantastic story, a very interesting story and it definitely warrants further investigation which I would encourage and implore our listeners to do. Why 23 years that they're not allowed to talk about it?

They're very like, they're very sort of, if you read the book and you read about them and read around them, they're very sort of symbolic of what they do. Like Bill Drummond, I think it's Bill Drummond, he used to work in the music industry and the moment he hit age 33 and a third, he quit the music industry because he said it was symbolic that that's the RPM of a record

Right And so he didn't want to be involved in it anymore And he left It's full of loads of really weird stuff You've definitely got to check it out They also released a record called Doctor and the TARDIS It's a Time Lords

Yes Remember that? Doctor who? I was a big fan of that That's them as well I was a big fan of The Firm Doing Star Trekking It's a weird time, wasn't it?

That's related No I bought a copy of that You're just talking novelty singles now, basically Yeah, but it was based on a sci-fi TV weird time wasn't it that's related no no i bought a copy of that you're just talking novelty singles now basically yeah but it was based on a sci-fi tv show wasn't it yeah true doctor the medics yeah true sorry no it's the firm yeah the firm who were the firm uh not sure not sure mate not sure but but anyway that that's what i thought i'd bring today um it's a book i've recently finished i'll just repeat the name of it again uh chaos magic in the band that burnt a million pounds by John Hicks.

Fantastic. Very nice. Well, I did some kind of cultural nonsense today. Go on. I went to the Hokusai exhibition with my mum and dad. You know that painter in Japan? A rather woodblock inker, I suppose you'd call him. Yeah.

He created that massive kind of great wave, that Japanese kind of artistry. You know I like proper bum Japan. Yeah, I know. You love him. Yeah. It created that massive kind of great wave, that Japanese kind of artistry. You know I like proper bum Japan. Yeah, I know you love it, yeah. And the first week probably was a little bit too Japan heavy. But, yeah. How did your parents enjoy it? They enjoyed it quite a lot.

My mum was very taken with a particular dragon. She was obsessed with this bloody dragon. She was very annoyed. No, she didn't find it in your dad's study, did she? Ha, ha, ha. She was like, no. Throwback to episode two. Oh, you forgot that study did she i've blocked that out of my mind yeah he uh my dad um my dad's quite infuriating at uh stuff like that it was a very busy exhibition it was one of those kind of special ones on at the british

museum yeah okay and it's always very very busy those those kind of special uh things that only last for a few weeks time but we managed to get in uh and we had a shifty around what i would say is that um it's a legendary um painting that i think he painted it when he was um about uh 73 75 something like that and he basically he's been painting all his life and he basically said every piece of art before this time was a waste of everyone's time was a waste of time it was rubbish uh but now i've created something that i can you know genuinely, genuinely call art. Which is incredible. Getting to 70-odd and going, all the stuff I've worked on all my life. I don't know if you're familiar

with how Japanese woodblocks work, but like, basically... Let's assume, Pete, that everyone listening at home... I mean, I obviously know all about this, but all the listeners at home don't know, so would you please explain it for them? A man, it's kind of like your t-shirt, to be honest. You've got this lovely kind of fox design that's got very deliberate kind of shapes. That's not going to help him. help no it's still not going to help no but uh basically

you uh you paint or draw a painting and then you send it to a wood carver and he basically carves out the shapes um and and the blocks effectively of the different colors like you don't use those to print or yeah like so like a modern um like like uh a screen printer for example yeah you would um cut down cut down or basically separate the picture into constituent colours and shapes and then

you know rebuild it again as an ink kind of process effectively so one guy basically has to go around and carve out

these very very ornate designs in kind of soft rosewood I think it was rosewood anyway but there's very little chat

about the guy who spent all of his time doing anyway. But there's very little chat about the guy who spent all of his time doing it. It's all a lot of love for the guy, Hokusai, who was the artist in the first place. There's a middleman in this who essentially remains unknown. Yeah, and also his celebrated works, or more of his celebrated works, seem to include the Prussian blue,

which is obviously very new at the time, imported in. Nobody talks about that. Nobody talks about the masses of Prussian blue he which was obviously very new at the time, imported in. Nobody talks about that. Nobody talks about the masses of Prussian blue he managed to get hold of. So, yeah, so basically there's one little note that he sends to his woodcarver, and he's complaining to the woodblock guy

that he's doing the eyes wrong. He's going, stop doing my eyes wrong. Really? I don't, there is a fashion that you do the eyes like this, but I don't like it like this, I think it's gaucho I think it's terrible. Do it in a different way and they're not in the museum which I quite liked. So your dad's a bit of a character

as people who've listened to our oeuvre will know. What was his take on it? I mean do we know that much about my dad? He's quite unique in that he gets up at 3 o'clock in the morning watches box sets until 8 o'clock goes to work, does little photoshops of people at work and stuff. I guess the sort of fairest way I could describe your dad

is that when I learnt more about your dad, my experiences with you made a lot more sense. Rude. The last time I went to an exhibition with my dad, it was the Crime Museum. Did you ever go to the Crime Museum? No. It was on for a brief period at the Museum of London, I i did i did i went to the museum in east london

uh well it's kind of like in white chapel kind of way isn't it barbican isn't it barbican sorry yeah yeah yeah um and uh did you see the crappy binoculars that uh it was kind of on a lot of the posters uh and basically it was just it was a um a pair of binoculars that a spurned lover had given to his ex-lady friend right with basically spikes that came out of the eye holes when you lifted them up to your eyes incredible incredible but only a blind person would look at those and go oh it's a pair of binoculars i'm going to put them to my eyes and even so why would a blind person do that because it didn't look anything like a pair of binoculars basically he carved it out of wood and the spikes were like just stupid looking yeah nobody would ever go i'm

going to put that to my eye so it didn't work it didn't work it didn't work most murderers it seems are just fucking idiots i would have been a brilliant murderer back in the day because like most of the people on all of the exhibits got found out because they just got drunk and mouthed off about how many murders i often wonder about it's boasting half the time i often wonder because that's funny because i've long thought that clearly if you read any sort of true crime or you get involved in the true crime stuff on netflix or that sort of stuff which is big now it's big in podcasts as well it seems to be that a lot of detectives will will say a lot of

people are much more sort of learned in this area than you and i would say it's the ultimate ego crime it's like it's like the sort of crime that you would do if you are i mean aside from the sort of you know the spurned lover in the heat at the moment kind of passion type stuff if you're murdering people you're and you're planning it it's the ultimate ego driven crime right so i've often thought surely a huge amount of them must get caught out just by their own idiocy and their own inability to not talk about it. But also, I guess, it's a very lonely existence.

I mean, A, you're killing people you could be talking to, and B, like, you can't... It's a very extreme and unique experience, and not many people in the world have ever experienced that. How do you go about living with that quite apart from the guilt of ending

someone's life it's quite a unique experience and you'd probably want to talk to somebody about how unique that is effectively and go I killed a pop

are you putting a shout out we do not want to hear from you if anyone is murdered we do not want to hear from you hello at lookandbe.com not hello goodbye at

lookandbe.com goodbye so your dad enjoyed the crime museum as well? We did enjoy the crime museum. He particularly enjoyed the knuckle dusters exhibition bit. Oh, yeah. Just a load of knuckle dusters that wrong-uns in London have used.

What, homemade ones and stuff? Yeah, just homemade ones, little ones that people have forged themselves. And my dad did tell me that he said, oh, my brother got chucked out of the army for punching his commanding officer with a pair of knuckle dusters. And the most beautiful sentence kit fell from my dad's lips. His face opened up like a chrysanthemum.

Oh, my goodness. My dad's brother said. Oh, my goodness. Do you know... My dad is from a family of wrongans. Your dad's told some funny old stories, which maybe you can enlighten us with later. But do you know Notable Millionaire and Man from Dragon's Den Duncan Bannatyne?

Yes. Am I right in saying he got kicked out of the Navy for chucking his officer off the side of the ship? That rings a bell, yeah. I think he got dishonorably discharged or something like that, yeah. And I was just going to remind him... Were you going to move on to Dirty Den, killing a man? No. And then becoming host of Fort Boyard? No, I wasn't. I wasn't, actually. I you going to move on to Dirty Den, killing a man? No. And then becoming a host of Fort Boyard?

No, I wasn't. I wasn't, actually. I was going to go on a different angle. I was going to go for talking about museums. Have you been to the Mary Rose Museum in Portsmouth? No. I've been to Portsmouth. I'm saying that.

As soon as I get there, I'm going to get out of here. That's fair enough. But the Mary Rose Museum will transport you to the mid-16th century. It might be a little bit more palatable. And if you go into any of the pubs in Portsmouth it transports you to the mid-70s. Yeah, absolutely. That couldn't be more correct.

But the Mary Rose Museum is fascinating and forgive me if I'm telling you something you already know but the Mary Rose was the flagship of Henry VIII so in the mid-16th century it sailed from Portsmouth. And on its maiden voyage, it sank. And there's a lot of theories about why it sank.

I'm going off piste, I haven't got notes on it, but possibly because it was overloaded with guns or possibly because it left the gun windows open, whatever, it sank. But the beauty of it was, it sank and essentially half buried itself in the silt at the bottom of the Solent. Right. So it's really well preserved. Perfectly preserved, yeah.

They raised it up in the mid-80s, and they've been preserving it ever since. But what's happened now is you can go in there and look at it. And they have got incredible stuff. They've got like, and bear in mind this is 500 years ago. Yeah. They've got full preserved backgammon sets. They've got full skeleton of the ship's dog. And it's all assembled. They've got everything you of the ship's dog. And it's all assembled.

They've got everything you can think of is in there. It's a brilliant museum. It's one of the best museums I've ever been to. I'd heartily recommend it. It's always really busy, but it's worth going there. There was a similar one in Stockholm that had a similar situation. It sort of fell in the silt and it completely and they raised it up. A viking ship or something? Yeah, a viking ship.

And everything is just beautifully preserved in it. It's fantastic. Have you seen thatiking ship or something? Yeah, a viking ship. And everything is just beautifully preserved in it. It's fantastic. Have you seen that TV show American Gods? No, not yet. You've heard of it? Yeah. What's the first episode?

Love, Joy and the Man from... Hollyhocks, isn't it? Right. Oh, I recognised him. I didn't know where from. You're right. You're absolutely right. I'm not going to go into a big spoiler, but I only watched...

A lot of willies in there, Luke. I only watched the first episode. Well, prepare for willies. But but the opening scene the first episode do you remember it no i've seen it okay it's the i won't give too much away but it's an amazing um scene of a load of vikings uh discovering a new island it is the most visceral scene i think i've almost ever seen it's well worth having a look it's really interesting a few weeks ago now uh i came through portsmouth and I checked my credit card receipt, and basically next to Hovercraft, it said Monkey World,

because I'd been on the Isle of Wight. And, I mean, Hovercraft and Monkey World. I live a life, don't I? Okay? Hovercraft and Monkey World. Could you combine the two, perhaps? A couple of uniforms, you'd be away. The most disappointing thing about going over the Sollent to the Isle of Wight

and back on a hovercraft is that you're not allowed to sit on the top. No. Because you'd be sucked into the engines. It's also absolutely brutal when it comes into Portsmouth, all the shingle being whipped up and stuff. It's quite a fascinating thing. Hovercrafts are quite interesting. Let's not go down the hovercraft route on this one.

They're very 70s. Yeah, they are. Well, speaking about my dad and his horrible stories about his brothers and, you know, just horrible things in his life, something we did for another show back in the day, not back in the day, last year, for our A-Cast specials. It was basically me interviewing my dad. And for better or worse, perhaps a good percentage of you guys

might not have heard it. So, look, what do you reckon? I bust out a little bit of me versus me dad in hope of kind of understanding me a little bit more. Yeah, I've heard this and it's bloody good, so I would recommend it. So give him a slice. Knock out.

So I'm just basically going to ask you a few questions about your life and also give the listeners a little bit of an idea about our beautiful relationship, dad. Oh, no, we're not talking feelings. No. All right, OK, right. I've got a few stories, right, that I remember from my childhood that you have mentioned, right?

And I just basically need a couple of explanations, basically. Number one. Right. In the Navy, when you filtered metal polish through a loaf of bread. Sock. What? Sock. Just one sock?

No, it was a couple of socks. Right, OK. You said it was a loaf of bread. No, I didn't know. That was what they do in the penitentiary, state pen to do that. This is the Navy. Well, no, it wasn't even a Navy thing. It was just an experiment we thought we'd try.

It would taste absolutely disgusting. Right, so... And nobody got rat-assed on it, no. So it was metal... I mean, it's a wonder you didn't get brain damage. You got... No, well, anyway, it didn't work. It was unt...

You couldn't drink it. It was horrible. Right. But it was just worth a try, because somebody had read about it. And you get bored in the middle of the water. All right, then. So it was in the Navy, and you were on a boat,

and you were drinking metal polish. Yeah. It's like the bottle of vodka, me and my mate, well, it wasn't vodka, it was Anisette. We bought a bottle of Anisette illegally, and we stooped some little bit back on board, of Anisette illegally and we snuggled back on board and me and my mate George

went down the switchboard, the electrical switchboard and drank it basically and the next morning hungover, turned to, went to work, went up the workshop and George had the epidemic fit and I thought, oh my God, that's just going to happen to me.

And I was panicking all morning. It was his first epileptic fit. But we weren't sure about this Anacet because the label was stuck skew-with on the bottle. So it was... And I had a crown cap, you know, like a beer bottle cap. Right. And it was a big bottle

of really strong anisette. Anyway, I was panning it all morning because I thought, oh my God, that's what's going to happen to me. I'm going to have a fit. Oh, you weren't worried about your friend?

That you gave him some anisette and he had an epileptic fit? Oh, no, well, actually, the chief had a brilliant idea the first day. He says, don't let him bite his tongue. So the chief put his hand in his mouth

and George bit his finger while he was having the fit. Good Lord. And you were literally all at sea? Yes. Drinking Anastasia? No, this is in Maldives. Right, OK. What I like about that is, Dad,

I came at you with a drinking story that involved you drinking Brassor and you managed to one-up me with epilepsy. No, well, actually, his sister had it, but he'd never had it before. It was his first fit and that was it. Well, basically, he got booted out after that because you can't have him climbing about the yard down there and having a fit, can you? Right, so you gave him a bottle of Anisette.

No, we bought it. We were both apprentices and we didn't have much money. We went to this backstreet place that bought this rubbishy stuff anyway. Fantastic. Yeah. You once told me a story where you

were on a night out and you pulled back a curtain and there was oh yes that was that was St Vincent that St Vincent yeah

in the West Indies yeah yeah you pulled back a curtain no what it was we were out on it we were out

basically just down this dirt track and we were in the it was just. And it was just a bar. It was just basically a bar with a block behind the counter and a couple of tables in a shack, really. And we were having a drink. And then I says, oh, I'll just go up the toilet. There was like a curtain.

And I says, toilet, mate? He says, oh, yeah, just throw there, just down the passage. So I pulled the curtain back and there was like all the corridor but it was like curtains either

so I thought well where's the toilet there wasn't like gents or ladies or anything so I just pulled the curtain back and there was this

man having there I didn't realise it was a knocking shop anyway anyway it was a brothel anyway and I didn't realise

anyway this big man he jumped up naked and pulled out a machete. I thought, well, why would you go to a brothel with a machete? I mean, it makes no sense. Anyway, I just turned tail and just ran and ran and ran. He may have just watched me run through the bar and just carried on drinking and just watched this bloke chase after me. Why did he go from loving to fighting so quickly?

I don't know. I don't know why he got upset. I said, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bust up the party. I thought he was the toilet, you know what I mean? Anyway, sadly enough, when I was running, I distanced. I'm surprised I out-distanced. I think it was because he was naked. He'd give up after a bit. Anyway, I kept on running, and it was in the dark,

and I fell down in one sound ditch and cracked my ankle. Ah. Anyway. Never mind. Finally for now, air rifle. Air rifle, yes. You once accused me without... Yes, of breaking my air rifle.

...without proof of breaking your air rifle, and you said the only way it could have been broken is if someone had fired it. Now, Dad, I can exclusively reveal I never touched that air rifle. I know. Actually, I realise that now. Well, later. But I wasn't going to own up to you because you're Ronnie Miller. It was the fact that it was a cheap Italian

air rifle. Don't have a go at the Italians. No, no, no, no. They used to churn them out like salmon that were rubbish. Basically, I just went for the cheapest option and basically you get what you pay for. Literally Brock it yourself?

Well, not strictly speaking. It was the cocking mechanism. Well, it was the cocking mechanism and there was a loading tray, which really didn't really work because it wasn't a problematic seal on it anyway. Basically, it was a bag of garbage. And I should never have bought it. Well, you shouldn't have blamed me for breaking it. I just took my rage out on you.

Well, as long as you didn't turn the gun on me. Because that's what you're there for. Dad, you've been incredibly good value. Thank you very much for joining us. Right, OK, then. Right. All right, Dad, well, you get off to bed. Rightio, then.

Sweet dreams. Goodbye. OK, Luke, don't gunge me, mate. Pipe down, Pete. I told you never to argue with the customers. Never argue with the customers. You're always doing that. That's why you should not be employed in a customer service role.

I've said it before and I'll say it again. It's time for the email section, Luke. I was just going to say, it's good to hear from your old man. But yeah, let's move on to the emails. I mean, before we get into these, one thing that's important to point out is that we have been absolutely bombarded with toilet slash fecal matter related emails.

Yeah, I'm thinking of doing like a poo special next week. Okay. They're all largely based around workplaces as well. Yeah. Epidemic level.

It's disgusting. It is disgusting. One other thing, you can't, you can't, you can't read more than a few of them. No.

I mean, it's too much. Not while you're eating. Do you remember that website back in the day of ratemypoo.com? No. There was a website. Were you getting involved with that, Kepa?

No, I wasn't, but it did a sort of, I mean, I guess before viral sort of content really existed, it did the rounds, people were sharing it on email and stuff, and it was like people would basically take photos of their, of their passing, of fecal matter, and upload them to the internet, and people were rating them out of ten. And, but the thing was, it was like, oh, look, that's funny, it's a novelty. Oh, I've got three of them, you're like, I feel sick it was like oh look that's funny it's a novelty i've got three of them you're like i feel sick there's nothing there's nothing more beautiful than your own poo and there's nothing more disgusting than someone else's uh emails i once interviewed chris pratt of uh parks and rec fame and he um told me this is out in the open i'm sure but uh he sends Nick Offerman, all sort of Parks and Rec,

pictures of his poo. And Nick Offerman sends pictures of his poo to him. Wow. And they still do it, even to this very day, which I quite like. What a bromance. What a bromance.

Let's not go down that route ourselves, Pete, you and I. We're more colleagues, aren't we? So it's not a... First email up is from John, who's from Portsmouth. Okay. Portsmouth's heavy special this week.

And we're getting into themes by accident, really, aren't we? We did a food one a while ago by accident. Anyway, he says, hi Pete and Luke, how are you? I've written in to do a follow-up on your discussion on ghosts, which I think you might find interesting. This is way back in week one. You talked very interestingly about

if I may say so, about Japanese ghosts. He says, I currently study music technology at university, and one of the aspects that we study is acoustics. Your chat about ghosts made me think about standing waves. Standing waves occur when half of a wavelength of a low frequency is the same as a dimension of a room. So low frequency wavelengths can be metres long, basically. This can cause either a drop or a gain in the perception of that frequency.

Humans can only hear between the frequency range of 20 hertz to 20 kilohertz so any sound that has a frequency below 20 hertz cannot be heard there was a study done in 1998 which mentioned objects vibrating and ghostly apparitions being seen in a haunted lab where an extractor fan was found to be emitting an 18.98 hertz frequency this is the same frequency at which the human eye can resonate and the room's length with exactly half a wavelength of that frequency thus causing a standing wave what are the chances of that well which may have caused an optical illusion um yeah it's a weird coincidence infrasound can also produce feelings of anxiety sorrow and chills for example if you've ever been to a particularly loud gig and stood close to the subwoofers you'll

know you can also feel the sound moving when there is enough power behind it. Infrasound frequencies are very strong and can travel for miles too. So he said Japan plus lots of volcanoes and earthquakes could equal Yokai. So that would be my guess as to what's happening when people see ghosts. Fantastic. Yeah, that's from John. He said I hope that's not too dry for you.

John, you have explained yourself very well there because I am not at all scientifically minded as much as I like to think I am and I get that and it sounds interesting. I don't... He could be talking nonsense, but we just don't know. But it feels... It taps into what you've said sort of consistently throughout this process,

this series, where you've said that you're a science man, you're not interested in the sort of... I guess the ephemera, or the sort of... You know, the paranormal, if you like, that type of stuff. So, I mean, it does seem to be that John has cracked that

and he's solved the mystery of ghosts. If you look into an owl's ear, you can see its optic nerve. Nerve, okay. So, what I would say is there's enough crazy shit happening in nature to not worry about the other stuff. Don't worry about it, it's fine. Yeah, I find that fascinating. I also find it interesting when people try and deny evolution, for example,

which can be really summed up by one word, which is heredity. I mean, it's essentially heredity we're talking about. And the reason I bring that up is because some people say, what about the human eye? What about the eye? And it's impossible to imagine how an eye so complex could have come about. And I actually think the opposite. I think it would be very, very easy to understand how, you know, light-sensitive cells on the side of a fish, for example,

billions of years ago, would benefit that fish. And so, therefore, that's how it starts. And they get slowly more complex over a vast, huge amount of time. I think the problem is that people can't understand how long that process is taken exactly human mind isn't able to fully appreciate that i don't think you have to take a bit of a leap don't you but but um yeah so so i i find that i find that pretty i mean one of the things that's interesting about this sort of stuff is john's done a great job there to my to the layman's uh ears of describing that don't bring ears into it no

but do you think that um do you think that there's just too much stuff in the universe for people to to the layman's ear of describing that. Don't bring ears into it. No, we're going to have to have that. But do you think that there's just too much stuff in the universe for people to ever be able to understand? Or do you think that ultimately, given a long enough time frame, science could explain everything? Well, no, because then, surely, you'd have to explain the scientists, wouldn't you?

Who could? Isn't that that kind of old kind of thing where it's like if the human brain was simply enough for us to understand on a molecular level, we'd be too stupid to be too stupid it's a paradox basically yeah okay right what about this email from joe uh he says hi luke and pete uh first time call a long-time listener well we've only done six or five episodes so you're not really sure you've been a long-time listener he says last week's episode spoke to me um you'd hope so wouldn't

you i think this is an email sort of going a back. He says, I now question, does the show exist or do I put my headphones in and daydream because I hate my job? We are not the Tyler Durden of podcasts. We do genuinely exist. I mean, this is how we do spend our time, depressingly enough. He says, flying back for a business trip on Friday, I watched a fruit fly making its way around my plane. All I could think about was, was this fly,

I was flying around a giant human-made fly that was also flying. Would this fly enjoy its visit to Baltimore? Can't answer that. He says, anyway, my question is for Luke. My landlord installed a piece of plastic under our deck. He says this question's for me, but actually I think you can answer this better. He says, my landlord installed a piece of plastic under our deck so we could go outside and grill when it rains. However, a family of pigeons decided the small gap between the deck and plastic rain guard

was the perfect place to nest and now attacks anyone who exits the back door how should i prove i am the dominant species on this planet thanks joe stamp them into a jam a show of strength a show of strength yeah or you could sit the pigeons down and explain to them that look i'm trying to barbecue out here, lads. Leave me alone. Or chuck one of their family on the barbecue to show them what could happen. Yeah, show them all the ranges of birds you've eaten recently. Different shows of strength.

I'll tell you what I could do. I mean, it might be a bit of a trek, but I could call on my two cats, Hercules and Magnus, to go out, because they're brilliant at catching birds. Yeah. Well, not the one that was in your house. Well, they were nowhere to be seen then.

That was disgraceful. That was bad by them. That was a dereliction of duty. Bad boys. Well, they were nowhere to be seen then. That was disgraceful. That was bad by then. That was a dereliction of duty. Bad boys. But one thing that's clear to me now, and wasn't clear to me before I got the two cats, is that I didn't know whether it would be worse cleaning up a dead mouse or a dead bird.

Do you now know that? A dead bird is much worse. Right. Because there tends to be a load of struggle, and the feathers go everywhere. Yeah. Have you ever considered how many feathers are on a normal-sized bird?

No. I've never been that bad. I was sort of seduced into thinking it might be about 20. It's about 5,000. When you see them mashed into a floor or a road, have I told the story about the bus running over a pigeon? No.

I was sort of thinking, I always think, you know, in a crisis I'm pretty good. I reckon, you know, if there was something dreadful that might happen or someone fell ill, I could probably, you know, I've got fantasies of if someone got disembowelled, I could push the guts back into the body and, like, marine style, make the person lift their knees up to their chest. What are you talking about here? And keep the guts in.

This is you're the man for the job here, are you? Well, I'm thinking I'll know what I do. I could probably do a tracheotomy. But all of those fantasies just went up with a puff of pigeon blood when I saw a pigeon just get run over by a bus on Oxford Street and it just went bang!

Right. And I knocked me for sick, to be honest. Sick. I was sick. I was nearly sick to be honest six i was sick i was nearly sick did you actually did you actually witness it yeah i watched the pigeon i went that's close to the bang oh god i'm gonna be sick did it did it almost like explode on the screen like left for dead too but was it was it like was it was it a bloody mess it was a bloody mess well it just went bang under the wheel it was just the way way it went. Under the wheel? Sorry, I thought you meant hit the window.

No, it didn't hit the window, no. It went under a wheel. I mean, that's how stupid the bloody pigeon was. But I remember thinking, it's like that Mighty Mighty Boston song, where it's, if I've, you know, I've never been tested, but if I did, I think I'll pass. Right. I will not pass. No. I will not pass.

I will vomit. I mean, when you're talking about animals being hit by a car, it's hard to think of a smaller one than a bird i know i know yeah it's dreadful so when when um i spent a decent amount of time in new england as you know and they have obviously have serious animals there and um i've never seen i've never seen one but um my wife has um which is a moose right a moose there was a i thinkose. There was a, I think my wife saw one, my wife saw one, she shared a video with me of the internet of it, and of a moose just walking on this dam

where she used to go for a lunch break. And they are unbelievably massive. I'm telling you now, they're so big, the adult ones, I think at the antler they're 12 feet tall. That's mad, isn't it? So I think they're about 8 or 9 feet at the shoulder. I'd love to see a ride in one of them.

Well, this is the thing, and they're fiercely territorial as well, but what I was getting to is, when you drive up through New England, because we spend some time in Vermont every year, and if you drive up through there, I always think, if you see a moose and you hit it in your

car, because there are warning signs saying be careful, I'm pretty sure, well, not pretty sure, but I think the moose has got a decent chance of surviving that, and your car will be absolutely totaled. Totalled. Completely totaled. So, listen, imagine how you'd be with that if it's a pigeon that's got you on the ropes.

But I think if an animal grows that large, it's because there aren't many predators around, so they're probably quite soft. They're probably quite soft and girly. What would you do? How would you deal with it? Well, how would I deal with it? Hitting a moose in your car.

Well, you can't even drive, but if you were in your car, yeah. The only thing I've ever driven is a golf buggy, so... If you hit a moose in a golf buggy, nothing's happening. I'm telling you. I'd have to drive alongside it and sort of push it over with a stick. Yeah, okay. And hope that he loses its balance. It wouldn't be great to hit an animal that size in a car, is what I'm saying.

Again, I know I keep throwing this out to the listeners, but I am fascinated. If you've hit a massive animal in your car, please tell me. Don't say a person. No, don't tell me that apocryphal tale about you hit a deer and you thought it was dead, but it wasn't. So you put it in the back of your car and it kicked your car in. Oh, right, okay. Yeah, was dead but it wasn't so you put it in the back of your car and it kicked your car out. Oh, right, okay. Yeah, people always say that. Why would you put that

in the back of your car? I guess that must have happened at one point. Yeah. I don't think it happens to everyone. Everyone says it happened. Anyway, have you got another email? I've got one more

if you want it. Okay. This is an interesting one. It's not really poo related but it is toilet related if that's right with you. It's not going to go in the poo special next week. No, it's not going to go in the poo special.

He didn't want us to use his real name, so let's go with Emmett. Emmett? Yes. Hi, Luke and Pete, I'm Emmett. I work in a builder's merchants and we have a large warehouse with toilets situated at the end in a rural part of Scotland. He's not called Emmett if he's from Scotland, is he? Emmett? Emmett's quite a Scottish name, isn't it? He's American, isn't he?

Eh. All right. Doesn't matter. My boss is a smoker and everyone knows it, but sometimes acts indifferent and takes long toilet breaks with the toilet subsequently smelling of smoke once it becomes vacant. So he clearly is doing a bit of smoking in there.

Feeling slightly suspicious of these smells, a few colleagues and I have tried to investigate. It appears that he clearly is doing a bit of smoking in there. Feeling slightly suspicious of these smells, a few colleagues and I have tried to investigate. It appears that he takes an empty water bottle into the lavatory each time and could be making some sort of homemade device to inhale smoke or other questionable substances. Who knows? Anyway, whenever you are okay to go to the toilet and by chance meet him when he comes out,

if you're far enough away he will dart in the opposite direction if you are too close to avoid him he's uh he's always sort of hiding something under his jacket or he unashamedly faces the wall and you have to conduct the conversation at the back of his head bloody awkward enough meeting someone when you're heading to the john as it is i generally feel that he's getting away with this perhaps thinking he's some sort of evil genius but it's becoming more and more awkward. One of my colleagues mentioned the smell of smoke one day in front of him, and to give him his due, he thought on his feet and said, oh, must be those dead mice, referring to some mice that we had a problem with a year or two ago when

it was winter. Not sure dead mice started smelling of cigarette smoke or other herbal items. My dilemma is, I do like him. Should I tell him to stop it? As if he was caught by high authority, he would no doubt be sacked. Or should I give him the benefit of the doubt that he will know to stop? I mean, how's this man got a job? I mean, is he implying here the guy's smoking weed at work? Well, I don't know. I mean, yeah, maybe. But I mean, he says that it just smells of smoke.

Presumably he must know the difference between weed smoke and tobacco smoke. Why isn't an adult man allowed to smoke on his break anyway well not in the toilet he shouldn't be doing it inside why don't you just

go outside I know I don't understand that confusing and if you're going to smoke weed go outside yeah

less of a problem surely yeah but what's he doing is it is it him maybe just making like a makeshift

bong maybe I mean that's that if you're if you like a bit of weed that's a very that's a very ornate way to do it, isn't it? I know

nothing about this, Pete, but I've seen some television programmes, and as a result of that, that's the first thing that sprang to mind. I genuinely can't stand weed. Can't do it. Why is this man, why have you got to change this man's name, for starters? Emmett. And why have you chosen Emmett?

Well, he wants to know our thoughts and he's going to update us on an outcome. Well, I think you should challenge him because it would be great for the show. But Pete, the fact that you've changed his name to Emmett, is this a name that you hold quite close to your heart? Because when you tried changing your name to PD that time

at school... Yeah, well that worked at least. I know, well for a bit. No one calls you it now, do they? They do. Some people in Hartlepool still call me PD. But would you, if you could have got away with it, would you have called yourself Emmett? Emmett? I don't know, it's not my favourite name. Marmaduke Fairfax is probably one of the names I would go for. Marmaduke Fairfax Donaldson. That's ambitious. Fantastic. That was my role playing name back in the day.

Was it? Oh God? I was a knight. Let's not get into that. It's like when Walt Jr. changes his name to Flynn in Breaking Bad. Does he do that? Yeah, he changes his name to Flynn, yeah. I met him once. He's very handsome. Yeah.

Shall we get on with Mung Carter, then? Yeah. If you do want to get in touch, by the way, it's hello at lukeandpeachshow.com. Let there be justice for all. Let there be justice for all. Let there be peace for all. It's one small step for man. You don't understand.

Willie was a salesman. Say simply, very simply, with hope. Good morning. Willie was a salesman. I love that bit. It's my favourite bit. My absolutely favourite bit. Do you know what that is, Willie was a salesman. I love that bit. That's my favourite bit. My absolute favourite bit. Do you know what that is, Willie was a salesman?

Well, what used to happen on Encarta back in the day is if you clicked on a certain subject, they'd have a limited amount of subjects which had a video in them or an audio file. So I guess it's just a clip from whatever it was. I don't know which one it is. One of my favourite exhibits was David Bowie and it was just him going,

Let's dance! That's it. And there was, I think under pop music, there was a David Bowie, and it was just him going, Let's dance! Yeah, it was... That's it. And there was, I think under pop music, there was a David Bowie video. Was there? My mate Tommy was telling me about it, saying that there was like a... I can't remember which one, Changes maybe?

Something like that. Right. There was a good three or four years where CD-ROMs weren't very popular, that, for example, Windows 95 came with three music videos on the actual CD itself. One of them was Weezer's Buddy Holly. Taking up too much space.

Well, you know, the operating system was like 360 megabytes, I reckon. And what can you get on the CD? 650. Okay, right, so you've got half the space. They're basically filling space. You're all right, they're filling space. But yeah, somebody made a legendary Weezer Buddy Holly video where they're doing

happy days effectively yeah of course the Stranger Things kids did a lip sync battle scene where they did Buddy Holly right

by Weezer so it was basically the kids who were doing the fake 80s thing yeah doing the fake 50s thing

that they used to do in the 70s no from a 90s band yeah it's mad it's meta no wait doing the fake 50s thing that they used to do in the 70s. No! From a 90s band? Yeah! Ah! It's meta! It's meta!

No, wait, let me get this right. It's the 80s kids doing the 90s thing... Set in the 50s, but it's filmed in the 70s. I don't know. So, basically, it's the 80s kids doing the... The thing that the 90s kids used to do... With the 50s show filmed in the 70s. Yeah.

Oh, imagine how many more decades can you get into 1X as well. That's incredible. They're very precocious, those kids, aren't they? Yeah,

well, they have to be, they're stage school kids. I saw one of the girls who plays Eleven, I saw her do a rap of a Nicki Minaj song on online.

It was quite interesting. She's quite good. Quite interesting. She's only about 12, she's quite good. Right, Mankato, I've got a bit of a confession to make here. What? I did a good one and I'm going to read it to you anyway. I did a good one.

I found a good one but, yeah, it's all going to remain, it's all going to become clear. So basically, I want to induct a guy called Artemis Pyle. Artemis Pyle. Brilliant name. Let's agree with that. It's a brilliant name. He was the drummer

in Lynyrd Skynyrd. Right. Who are a band... Free Bird! Yeah, Free Bird. All nine minutes of it. Sweet Home Alabama, all that stuff. A southern... I guess you could call them a southern rock band, I suppose. A southern rock blues band. Did they lose a lot of members in a play crush? Well, this is what I want to get onto.

In 1977, they were flying from Greenville, South Carolina to Baton Rouge, Louisiana. I guess to go play a show or whatever. And the plane ran out of fuel and crashed in a swamp. Now, this plane had previously been inspected by Aerosmith's crew. Yes. And they refused to fly in it. So it could have been a different story.

Anyway, sadly, Linus Gier did fly in it, and the plane ran out of fuel, crashed in a swamp, and it killed several members of the band and crew and stuff. It killed several people instantly. Artemis Parr, who was the drummer at the time, he survived the crash. He had some serious injuries, including several broken ribs, but never lost consciousness throughout the crash.

I mean, he basically hauled a load of stuff off him, crawled out of the wreckage and in a swamp in the middle of nowhere. Crocs everywhere. Well, listen, this is where it gets interesting.

So he hauled himself out of the wreckage through the swamp where he was almost instantly attacked by a snake but fought it off. So plane crash,

snake. After a while, he happened upon a farmstead where it intended to raise the alarm. The farmer came out, thought he was trespassing, and shot him.

Oh, no! So, plane crash, snake attack, shot in the shoulder. Survived all that, lives to this day. I thought that was a fascinating sort of four or five hours. I thought that was going to end with... He fell down some stairs. Unfortunately, I found out in the 90s he got done for being a sex offender.

So, I can't put it in. I don't know what I make of that, to be honest. I mean, what can we do? I mean, what can we do? Do you know what I mean? Sex offender so i can't put it in i don't know what to make of that to be honest i mean what can we do i mean what can we do do you know sex offender is invincible it's like the t1000 come on sex offenses are never funny despite you trying to make me laugh in the middle of it that is an interesting story but he's not allowed in because he abuses kids or he endorses it at the very least let's's move on to you. Which we don't. No. Funny story about, not funny story, about that particular crash.

There's a film based on it that's coming out very soon. And the guy who's playing Aerosmith's Stephen Tyler is the lead singer of an Aerosmith TV band. Very good. And he looks very much like Stephen Tyler. Well, I've done... They've done very well. I would hope so. Yeah, but I mean, sometimes...

I might have told you this already before, but I once went to Birmingham and I was helping out a band, a mate's band's night thing, charity do, doing the announcing and stuff, and there were two tribute bands on. One was the Foo Fighters, one was Nirvana,

and the drummer from the Nirvana band was the lead singer of the Foo Fighters. Great. That's great. Lovely. I'm loving that. Isn't there a venue? I'm tempted to say it's called The Junction in Crewe, which is dedicated to tribute bands.

It's like the episode of the tribute band scene. Oh, fantastic. Every night they have tribute bands on. Yeah. It's like the venue in New Cross. They've got a lot of that. Right. Bon Jovi, you know, their tribute act is always on there.

I saw a documentary on this. I think it was a documentary, or at least a little VT about this venue, and apparently it's like the mecca of tribute bands. Why don't they just do a festival with, like, legendary act? Yeah. And just run it over two days and just have... Yeah, they must do.

I mean, the downside is it's in Crewe. I mean... Hello, people from Crewe. Right, what's your main character? Mine is the head of cosmonaut Yuri Gagarin. We've, you know, touched upon the cosmonauts and the astronauts. Why do they call them cosmonauts and why did they call ours astronauts? I think it's a different name for the same thing, I think.

On the south shores of Lake Issyk-Kul in Barskun, which is in the north-eastern corner of Kyrgyzstan, is a giant face carved directly into a massive rock. Specifically, it's the giant head of cosmonaut Yuri Gagarin. Now, check out this picture. Okay. How cool is that? Well, that's amazing.

That is amazing. Isn't that beautiful? Isn't that the most beautiful thing you've ever seen? Who did that? A big head carved out of a rock. That's fantastic. And it's a reproduction, because the original was when the USSR broke up. Somebody just put concrete on his face.

But that is petty. I mean, what I would say is, you know, priorities. Lithuania's fucked off. Let's get cement on Uregar's face. Exactly. I want to find the person who did that and said, look, can we not just respect the achievement? Let's just respect the achievement.

Because whatever happens... Your government's dumping money in the bloody forest. Go over there. Go over there, mate. You might still find the odd shop that'll take it. Oh, dear. It's a fantastic face in a rock. It's a beautiful piece of work.

Ironically, the bit of Mars has got a face in it. Yeah It's a beautiful piece of work. Ironically, there's a Mars face that's got a, the bit of Mars has got a face in it. Yeah, that's not, I mean, that's just a coincidence.

But I think I'll, well, it would be impossible. You're the science fan over there. I will tweet a picture of that because you girls can't see it, but it looks a bit like

it could be an asteroid with a man's face on it. It's bloody beautiful. Why don't we carve freestanding rocks more? How to get a scale on that, though? How big is it, do you think? Well, it's bigger than that tree, so maybe it's about as big as, I'd say, a big digger. Pete, trees can be any size.

They can. Oh, someone's been to Japan. What's your favourite head? What's your favourite statue with a big head? Have you got any? Mine's definitely Karl Marx in Highgate. Oh yeah, okay. In the Highgate Cemetery. Yeah, that's good. And what I like about that is

you know, actually he's buried around the corner in the Highgate Cemetery and obviously you get the Communist Party or Communist members they come down every year and they celebrate his birthday and they lay flowers and stuff. That's a great cemetery that by the way the way. Oh, it's beautiful. I think two or three graves down is Jerry Beadle's. Is it?

And on his actual headstone it says, Writer, presenter, curator of oddities. Okay. I mean, what I would say is, man with beard who did pranks. I think I know someone who had a small hand in doing that at a gravestone. Pathetic. You're better than that.

Did you say what's your favourite statue or what's your favourite? Would you have a statue or big head? Well, because if you're talking about Russian statues, there's a great one in Volgograd, isn't there? The Mother Calls, which is the one that's dedicated to the Battle of Stalingrad. It's like a massive woman with a huge sword. It's absolutely huge. That's fantastic. Is it like Christ the Redeemer sized? Not quite as big.

It's bigger. It's bigger. What? Yeah, it's bigger. Yeah, it's bigger. Is it like Christ the Redeemer sized? Not quite as big. It's bigger. It's bigger. It's bigger. What? Yeah, it's bigger. Yeah, it's bigger. I don't think Christ the Redeemer is in the top sort of 20 statues in the world in terms of size. Right. I mean, the biggest one is the Spring Temple Buddha in China, which is 153 meters tall.

That's too tall. It's massive. It's massive. That one in Game of Thrones, remember? Yeah. And there's a couple in Lord of the Rings as well. The Mother Calls, I think, was the biggest one when it was built. But there's also a brilliant Genghis Khan one in Game of Thrones Remember Yeah And there's a couple Lord of the Rings as well The Mother Calls I think Was the biggest one When it was built

But there's also A brilliant Genghis Khan One in Mongolia He's on the back He's riding a horse He was a rotter wasn't he He's brilliant He was a shit

There's a huge He was a shit Apparently a load of A shit Apparently a load of people I forget the percentage But I think I heard about it A load of people in Europe

Can in theory Are in theory related to Genghis Khan Okay Because he had so many children I think I heard about it. A load of people in Europe are in theory related to Genghis Khan. Okay. Because he had so many children. I think he fired like 800 children or something. That's too many. Yeah. That is too many. That is way too many.

Have you seen the new Nikola Tesla statue in... Is it Paolo Alto in... I haven't, no. California? Oh, Tesla, yeah. No, I haven't seen it. He emits Wi-Fi, which I quite like. That's what he would have wanted.

That's what I would have wanted, wouldn't he? Have you seen the film where David Bowie plays him? I forget what it's called. Oh, yes. It's really good. Oh, God, it's about magicians, and it's got Wolverine in it. It's got... The Conjuring, no.

No, it's got Hugh... The Magic Men. It's Hugh Thingy in it. Who's the other one in it? Hugh Jackman and Batman. It's called... Oh, it's got Scott Johansson in it as well. Yeah.

I forget what it's called. Doesn't matter. The Magic Men. Bowie plays Tesla in it and it is called Watch Some Men Do Magic. Bowie was not a good actor. Oh, come on.

He wasn't. Come on now. Respect their dead. No. Never. So that's about it for us. Yeah, it must be about time. Let's get out of here

for crying out loud. Yeah, let's do it. If you want to get a touch with the show, as always, we can say that now. We've done a few episodes. As always, it's hellolukeandpeachshow.com. Do get in touch. We love hearing from you.

Yes. And we both read all of your emails, even though we can't reply to them because they're genuine. There are too many now. There are genuinely too many. But we always love to hear from you. Lots of fun more.

See you next week I'm out.