The Luke and Pete Show - Episode 50: We have done nothing to commemorate our fiftieth show

Episode Date: March 29, 2018

Happy Thursday! You've almost made it through another week, and to commemorate such a momentous effort, let Luke and Pete guide you through around half an hour's worth of chat on the transportation of precious cargo on commercial aircraft, a couple of films that Pete saw at least half of, being responsible with passwords and plenty more.Listen out for Pete talking quite a lot about his trousers, too. And if that doesn't get you excited, nothing will.To tell us about your trousers (and indeed anything else), email us: [e-mail]***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

🎵 Hello! Hello. Oh, you normally fade it down. That's what I was saying. You normally fade it down and we start talking over it. Because, Pete, it's episode bloody 50. It's episode 50. Yeah. Woo.

Yay, party time. Yeah, that's literally the only thing we're going to do to mark it. Bit of Biffy cli-ro. That is literally it. I never thought we'd get here, to be honest, Luke. No, you are a very pessimistic man by nature. And pessimistic by trouser. Yes.

You are wearing a nice pair of trousers today. It's a nice check. Very tight, very tight trousers. Where do you go to? I mean, I'm Luke Moore, of course. I'm about to ask Pete Donaldson about his trousers. Pete, where do you go to get your trousers? Because I don't think I know anyone

with a more varied or stronger trouser game than you. Nearly top, man. I don't mind a floral pattern. You don't have them fitted, no? No. I like to get things cut a little bit down. But I'm actually wearing a jacket today that it's a bit too...

It was a bit too long. And it was a bit too long and it was like um I kept on having it cut down shorter or you know kept having the the bottom of the suit cut up effectively taken up yeah taken up and uh and I think I had it done twice until there's just no pocket left and it just looks really weird it's like a weird belly top jacket but I'm still wearing it because it's nice and warm on a cold day. I didn't notice anything odd about it, but why would you do that? Because it just looked too long.

I don't know whether my – have I got a long body and short legs? I think I might have a long body and short legs, and it just looks a little bit strange, to be honest. But never mind. So what have you done this week, Luke? It's been – I sort of fell down a sort of internet hole. Internet hole.

What do people call it? A Google hole or something. Yeah, Google hole. About Malaysian Airlines flight MH370. Okay, then. Which disappeared. Is this because

that Aussie bloke who... The voicemail thing. Oh, there's two parts to it. Yeah. The Aussie bloke who found, or thought he found it on Google Maps.

And then I was with him on the Google Maps thing. He thinks he'd found this kind of like, he's basically got a screenshot of Google Maps and there's this plane shape that looks like a fuselage from a plane. Yeah. And he's saying, look at this, this is MH whatever. And then at the end of the piece he says, and they're not going to look in that area

because it's riddled with bullet holes. And I think that's where his theory fell down a little bit. Why? Well, because if you're going to speculate that it's full of bullet holes from satellite photography. You can't see a bullet hole from that far away, is that what you're saying? Massive, well, not at what Google Maps definition

is going to give you, underneath the bloody sea. Ridiculous. Bullet holes Maps definition is going to give you. Underneath the bloody sea. Ridiculous. Bullet holes in the Great Wall of China are the only thing you can see from space. Yeah, no, I understand. No, it was partly that

but also partly because there was a guy who on Twitter who started talking about a weird voicemail he started to receive. Did you see that? No.

I did WhatsApp you about this. I think you might have ignored me. That will happen. There was a guy on Twitter who received a voicemail randomly about just like a code, like a weird code

in a different language that he was able to put it out there and it was able to be translated and it was essentially about the disappearance of the flight. And it said all this really weird stuff. Did you not see that? No, God, I'd missed this completely. It's absolutely ridiculous.

I thought it was just this Google Maps guy who found what he thought was a fuselage on Google Maps. That's part of it. Yeah, that's the point. See, no one knows what actually happened about this flight. But he received a voicemail on his phone of a robotic voice droning out an automated message in the NATO-accepted phonetic alphabet,

and deciphered it reads, S-Danger-SOS. It is dire for you to evacuate. Be caution. They are not human. A load of numbers. SOS-Danger-SOS. And then when the coordinates, the numbers, are plugged into Google Maps,

it was like, I think part of it was right near Malaysia where they're playing Last Scene. It's a lot of weird stuff. And the reason it's so odd is because the guy involved who got the voicemail was nothing to do with any of the disappearance. He'd never been to the country, no interest in it, never really knew much about it.

It just fascinated me. I mean, that is a tedious hoax. That is the very tip of a very tedious hoax. Occam's razor dictates that it will be untrue, but it's fascinating because no one actually knows what happened. And I think, I don't know if you agree with this, Pete,

but when something like that happens, it's obviously terrifying. We can all relate to it because we've flown on planes and all the rest of it. And I'm not trivializing what happened to those people because it's awful. Their bodies have never been recovered. No one knows what happened.

But do you not find in 2018, it quite odd when something of that scale happens and there's no one on earth that can sort of tell you why? Oh yeah, it's incredible in this modern age that they can't find the plane, which is insane. That's the most insane thing, that we've got all this technology and they've got beacons and things like that,

that we can't even map a trajectory. We can't even figure out whereabouts in the sea is. But then the sea is limitless. I mean, that's true. It's not limitless, is it? It's almost limitless. Almost. In the grand is limitless. I mean, that's true. It's not limitless, is it? It's almost limitless. Almost. In the grand scheme of things.

And then my friend Tommy, who I mention regularly on this show, of this parish, one of his good pals is currently employed looking for the flight as part of his work as an oceanographer for the Australian Travel Safety Bureau. So I'll try and get updates. Yes, please do. Might break the story on air. That'd be amazing, wouldn't it?

Anyway, that's what's been floating my boat. You did go on a proper kind of MH, what flight is it? Sorry, MH. 370. 370 kind of Google Hall for a good couple of days.

I'll just let you get on with it. I was like, we'll get some good content out of it. Yeah, and we haven't, so. You are not human. When I say that was what's floating my boat, pun not intended there.

Right, okay. Pete, what's been floating your boat? What have I done that was what's floating my boat, pun not intended there. Pete, what's been floating your boat? A couple of interviews. I've watched a couple of films. It's my film corner. Ready Player One. Oh yeah, what's it like? Steven Spielberg, isn't it?

He was at the screening, weirdly. I was watching. I'd basically chinned off a couple of screenings because I couldn't make them. I was like, I'll just go this evening one. I'll see an hour of the film and then I'll run to work. And it happened to be the screen that they just brought out of Steven Spielberg. I was like, wow, hello.

Well, did he do a Q&A? It was pretty good. No, he just came out and went, hey, guys, I'm really looking forward to you seeing this film. I've not even seen it on IMAX yet. And I was like, mate, I'm going to be living this for about an hour. Well, did you not watch the whole thing?

I did. I didn't have time. It was the only screen I could make. Because the problem with doing interviews is they you did not watch the whole thing. I did, I didn't have time. It was the only screen I could make. The problem with doing interviews is they insist on you watching the film first. When,

I understand watching like the first half an hour or a trailer at least, but watching the whole film, you're not going to be talking about, I basically, I've just never been

told off for leaving a film before the end, which was an animated comedy with Rihanna and the bloke Sheldon out of the Big Bang Theory. I got told off for leaving like 20 minutes to the end. He's gone, Pete, you might not get this interview with Sheldon

from Big Bang Theory because you left early. And it's like, it's a kid's film. I ain't going to be talking about the ending. I've kind of got the idea. And you're going to give me five minutes with a guy anyway. Yeah, exactly. Did you interview him in the end? Yeah, he was very nice, actually.

Awful start, awful output, though. Yeah, exactly. Did you interview him in the end? Yeah, he was very nice, actually. Awful start, awful output, though. Yeah, massively. But he, I was just sort of sat there going, you get like a million dollars for doing one episode of your shitty TV show. Fair play to him. Fair play to him. And young Sheldon.

Aren't you on that for a Luke and Pete show episode? But yeah, Ready Player One. I didn't necessarily enjoy it. It's a good Spielberg kids film it's very goon easy you know it's good

but not for me and also the geek in me found the use of the characters it's like they've just been they've just got a lot of characters

paid all that money like you know Mortal Kombat Street Fighter 2 and you know the music and stuff and just give it to Spielberg

and he's never experienced any of those things and he went I'll just put them in the music and stuff and just giving it to Steven Spielberg and he's never experienced any of those things and he went, I'll just put them in the film like this. And he didn't really know how to use them. So it wasn't numbers

or care and attention? Oh, it was just flung in. Absolutely flung in. And so for me, I sort of think, well, the kids are going to enjoy the story and the dads and the mums

that are going to be taking them to the film or the carers, they're not going to appreciate the... The history of film or the carers they're not going to appreciate the history of it. They're not going to appreciate the geekdom because they're using such a haphazard kind of cynical way. Like why did you bother

paying all that money for like these characters? It's weird. Is the Iron Giant a beloved character? Not really. Who gives a toss? Do you reckon they paid money or do you reckon they just did a deal between the studios? Well no, I mean they will have paid money to Capcom to use, you know, Rio and Blanca.

But if I was doing it, I'd have said to Capcom, I'm going to do this, you're going to see a massive spike in sales of these particular games. Are you though?

No, you're not. They're selling the cashier of that particular video game. It's an inclusion. It's like, no, it will have been a one-way street, I

think, definitely. Right. And what other film did you see? What was the other film oh Isle of Dogs it's so good I don't even know

what this is Isle of Dogs who did Grand Budapest Wes Anderson it's new Wes Anderson it's completely animated it's a

stop motion animation I have seen the trailer yeah I didn't know it was called that it's stunning like just the most joyful film I've seen in a long time.

And it's beautiful. And it's a great cast. And it's just, oh, it's a work of art, it really is. When you WhatsApp me saying Isle of Dogs is really good. You thought it was the Isle of Dogs. I thought you'd been to the Isle of Dogs, yeah. Have I ever been there? I did a voiceover at Channel 5 once.

I think that was the Isle of Dogs. And is the Excel Centre not there? Is it? I believe so, yeah. So if you've been there, I think you might have been there as well. I think I went to go and see Lagwagon there once. Did you really?

Lagwagon! They were playing the Excel, were they? They were playing an all-day punk thing when I was in Leicester. We came down and I think... Where's the London Arena? Don't know. Where do they have the arm's fair?

Where do they have the arm's fair? I don't know, Pete. I think it's the same place. That's where do they have the arm's fair where do they have the arm's fair I don't know Pete I think it's the same place that's at Olympia isn't it no no it used to be at the London Arena last time I walked past

the Olympia in Kensington in West London people were protesting no there was a bass guitar conference oh god imagine that imagine the beards

imagine just imagine people just boring on about bass guitars to be fair I have watched I do watch a lot of instructionals on YouTube of like men kids imagine just imagine people just boring on about bass guitars to be fair i have watched i do watch a lot of instructionals on uh on youtube of like men who play bass and why you shouldn't play with a five string bass right i've watched these things for hours there was a big um the big poster

outside this one at the olympia and the um the guest of honor was les claypool from primus and uh speaking of five-string basses and all the rest of it, one of the laziest things I've ever seen, this is a slightly sort of geeky music point, but I'm going to make it anyway. One of the laziest things I've ever seen was a TV footage of a Kasabian show.

Might have been at Glastonbury or something. And the bass player had a capo on the bass. That is lazy, isn't it? That is quite lazy. Really lazy. You've only got four strings, mate. Yeah. Just bar it.

Gail Ann Dorsey's in a lot of them. She's very good. Who's that? She was a boys, you know that bald lady who used to do David Bowie stuff? Right. She does a wonderful, and then I just fell down. You fell down a flight, MH, whatever. 317.

Just give it the respect it deserves. Give it the respect. You're literally talking about a hoks and a voicemail and a voice going Pete I just want to know what happened I just want to get to the bottom of it Fucking Malaysian Carry on

Gayle Andossi She was Boyz Bases and I just fell down a little just watching her play It's just incredible She played under pressure and she had to sing the Freddie Mercury parts while playing a rather complex bass line her player. It's just incredible. She, um, uh, she played under pressure, um, and she had to sing the, um,

Freddie Mercury parts while playing a rather complex bass line. That's very good. Incredible. Very good. If you can get in touch, hello at Luke and Pete shot.com for your favorite or with your favorite bass player stories and go and see. I love dogs. Cause it's beautiful.

Has it got any base in it? No musical instruments. Great music, though. As always, great soundtrack. An oft-overlooked part of the musical canon. The bass guitar. Shall we do some emails? Alright then, let's do some bloody emails.

Shall I kick off with Neil's? Dear Luke and Pete, I've just had about three months off work following an operation, during which time I've had plenty of time to catch up on box sets and discover new podcasts being a long time listener of your oeuvre

I gave the Luke and Pete show a whirl and have recently smashed through 48 sorry 46 episodes almost back to back Neil I mean that's no way

to convalesce really no I love this email though this email is so good it's good isn't it yeah part of the attraction has been that so many of your stories

fall right into my wheelhouse, as I'm originally from the northeast of the country. Recently, I changed my work password to Sheeran9. Thanks for that. And my better half is originally from the New Hampshire in the northeast of the US. That works, doesn't it? Yes, it does, yeah.

So New Hampshire is like a very sort of conservative enclave in otherwise a fairly liberal part of the US. Ah, I see. So I'm intimately acquainted with Boston's Logan Airport, partly as our family visits the in-laws a few times each year, and partly because I'm a captain for an airline and fly there on a pretty regular basis. Neil, you're basically me, but just with a better job.

A more important job. A reoccurring thread... A job. A reoccurring thread a job a reoccurring thread a reoccurring thread that keeps appearing throughout the podcast is that of travel

aviation in particular and I thought I'd share a story that overlaps with another reappearing friend of the show Cocaine Bear oh I can't get enough of a Pablo Escobar

Cocaine Bear occasionally flight crew are asked to carry items behind the lock door of the flight deck if they are deemed of particular importance, value, or need to be inaccessible to passengers for some reason or another.

That's interesting. On one occasion, while preparing for a flight to India, a policeman entered the flight deck with a transparent sealed plastic bag, thin and about two feet in length. It was explained to us that the package contained two kilograms of cocaine. That's excellent, isn't it? That's excellent, isn't it? That's service, isn't it? Yeah.

Have they started serving food yet? I want any. Don't want any. I don't need it. But I really want to have sex. That had been hidden inside a picture frame and exported from the Caribbean. The drugs were destined for India,

but the package had been intercepted as it had passed through the UK and the intended recipient in India was arrested when he came to collect it at the airport. We were now to carry the drugs from London to India to assist in the prosecution. So they've got two kilograms in the cockpit of cocaine.

Incredible. I like this because no one really considers the other stuff that goes on when you're on a commercial airline flight so it's almost like when you jump on a plane you're going from yeah so you're going from london to japan whatever you i'm going to uh korea soon cool well that would be another good example and we'll hear all about that when you get back i'm sure but the point i was just going to make quickly was that you're quite self-obsessed you're like oh this is a plane designed specifically to take me and all these other holiday makers or whatever, business travellers,

to a particular place. You don't really consider the idea that lots of other logistical stuff is going on at the same time. Oh, yeah. Mail, weapons get sent quite a lot in the hold. I once, and when you realise it, you realise how ridiculous it is that, oh, yeah, well, the plane can't take off because of all the load. Well, they put so much stuff on the plane as well.

I once got delayed on a plane. I was sat on the plane, and the pilot, who was obviously a bit of a character, came over the PA and said, oh, sorry, we're having a bit of a trouble while getting some of this cargo on. There's an extra two pallets of smoked salmon, and it's not on the manifest.

And I was like, what other stuff is in there? I really want to know what's in there now. I understand how you would lose a lot of that. Yeah, and then he came over and said, there's a couple of extra parts of uncut pure cocaine that we hadn't... Well, we're going to fire through both of them anyway. Once the police had left the flight deck,

we had the standard pilot conversation that always takes place whenever we have a high-value item on board, namely whether we should just DB Cooper the plane and never be seen again. I mean, that would be three months off work, wouldn't it? Piling through two kilograms of cocaine. Neil, would you really do that? You're a

captain of a commercial aircraft. You've obviously worked very hard to get where you are. Would you really chuckle that in for two kilograms of cocaine? And then thoughts then turn to what would happen if the bag were improperly sealed in in many ways uh with obvious ramifications if two kilograms of cocaine were to contaminate the air conditioning system and slowly disperse and recirculate to 300 passengers and crew over the course of eight hours that would be ridiculous that would be intense wouldn't it i mean that would

take the edge off the volume i imagine it really really would. We also debated whether in the event of a rapid decompression, i.e. the sort of decompression when the mask drops from the ceiling, the sealed plastic bag will be able to withstand the pressure difference between the cabin and the air inside the bag, or whether it would explode in a cloud of white powder. It would no doubt have filled the closed flight deck and covered its three excitable, but now also very confident occupants before venting overboard,

crop-dusting fashion towards the noses of any bears below. While we always try to cover any eventuality in our pre-flight briefings, this has filed very much away in the unlikely to occur category. It's a brilliant email from Neil. I applaud him wholeheartedly for it. And I think any other, I instantly think he should be the official air travel correspondent of this show.

Massively. Any questions we have, we should send to him, but I don't like the idea of that, of that happening because I assume anything like that. I understand evidence needs to be transported. Surely it'd been some sort of locked sort of flight case in a cupboard somewhere in the cockpit.

It's not a plastic, but he makes out like a plastic bag with two kilograms of cocaine. It's just on the floor in the cockpit. It's not a plastic bag. He makes out like a plastic bag with two kilograms of cocaine. It's just on the floor in the cockpit. Stick it under your seat. Get it out of the way. I don't know what the rules are in India, to be honest, Luke. No, but the rules are the rules

of the commercial airline, presumably. Yeah, but I'm not saying it's just on the deck, but where else are you going to put it? I don't know. There's a lot of storage space in the cockpit. You need dials and stuff. On those big long-haul journeys, they have three pilots,

essentially, and one of them sleeps while the other two are on the deck. Is that true? Yeah, there's a little cabin in the cockpit because there's a fantastic book,

and I can't remember the name of the guy who wrote it. It's really beautifully written. It's called Seafaring. Sorry, it's called Skyfaring. That makes more sense. Yeah. Why would he call it Seafaring. It's really beautifully written. It's called Seafaring. And it's about, or it's called Skyfaring. And it's about a guy. That makes more sense.

Yeah. Why would he call it Seafaring? It's about a guy who makes his living and his profession is airline pilot. And he talks in depth about all this different stuff.

And he includes that. Is it always, but I mean, in the same way that different facilities are quite variable. And I imagine the pilot's comfort

is probably annoyingly, it's far down the list of wanting to make money. Maybe it's just variable. And I imagine the pilot's comfort is probably annoyingly, it's far down the list of wanting to make money. Maybe it's just variable, but we get sometimes there isn't a bed, sometimes there is. Yeah, it depends, I guess, on the length of the flight. The guy's actually called Mark Van Hanacker, who wrote the book, Skyfaring.

And I think the book actually starts with him waking up in one of those little cabins in the cockpit, ready for his shift. It's great. It's really nicely put together. Imagine he's like, wait a minute if I had to fly a plane now. I was asleep an hour ago before we started recording the show and I'm unable to speak. I thought that when I read that bit. I thought, I suppose because you're probably mid-flight

and it's an autopilot anyway, you get plenty of time to get a coffee and get used to it and stuff. Well, you know what you're doing. I mean, you know. If you had to get up and start driving, you'd still drive, couldn't you? Here's a question for Neil

they're probably quite systematic and organised brain wise quite clever it's probably not helpful to compare them to us I'll go up and down here's a question for Neil how much of a pilot's role these days is to comfort the passengers

i.e. the passengers just want to see that there's a pilot there and how much of it is you actually do stuff because presumably the computer can do most of it anyway. I mean, that's rude. I think I've said before that they changed course using a dial

in a lot of the big jets. Yeah. And that's fascinating. Yeah. We still got to land. I heard a story, possibly apocryphal. I don't know if it's true and I might have mentioned it already.

It's fascinating that there was an airport in the US um there was an agreement to have a study where they would let the autopilot land the plane right and they were there just in case anything went wrong but the autopilot would do it and um after a short amount of time they had to replace a tiny four by four by four foot bit bit of uh runway right because the planes were circling exactly the same spot every time. So in light of that

sort of stuff, Neil, answer the question. Answer the question. Two questions. Can you just land a plane by pressing a button? And also,

I used to be on my friend's B8, Friends and Family, and it was brilliant and I used to get really cheap flights. Can I get on your Friends and Family?

Also, how much cocaine have you had while flying? Also, I've got a career later on upgrade and a final question when denzel washington flies that plane upside down the film flight have you ever done that and uh could you do it if you needed to uh also if you ever fly any of the any of the places i go um can you come down and say hello please and can you reverse fly it if you need to? Fuck it, fuck it.

It's all right. I can't get in there. They're not going to fucking wait, are they? They're not going to wait the other way. Oh, no, the altitude affects the weight.

But seriously, though, all joking aside, we all like to have a laugh. Can we have some free flights? Right, Matt Frischer. And cocaine. Mike Frischer is up next, Pete. And we've been frivolous

on that email. Frischer-er-frisch. We've been frisch-ver-less on that email. This one, I'm afraid to say, in your direction, my friend, Peter, is deadly serious. Oh, no. We're going to talk about passwords and computer security. I got an email about bloody passwords today.

I'm going to read one out to you. People won't leave me alone. I'm going to read one out to you because I think you've opened a can of worms here. I think the people read one out to you. People won't leave me alone. I'm going to read one out to you because I think you've opened a can of worms here. I think the people who know about this stuff are, let me put this mildly, are a fairly humorless bunch.

And security is not a dirty word, as we all know. It's a boring word. So Matt goes on with his email and says, Hello Luke and Pete. First of all, I've got a pair of Mitsubishi batteries.

Solid start. Solid. I wanted to address the password manager chat from a show the other day, where Pete was discussing how server-side companies should encrypt their passwords. This is actually not

entirely accurate. Oh, no. Entirely, though. I'll take it. Yeah, it's a win for you. A crypto win. Those of you listening, you aren't interested in password encryption and safety and security online. Turn off. Go on the next episode.

Make a cup of tea. Encryption means that the process is reversible and you would be able to decrypt it and get your password. Instead, companies should use a hashing algorithm and compute a password hash. This is similar to encryption, but the process is not reversible, so you cannot decrypt the result of a hash and get your password.

When you create your password, the server should use a hash algorithm and store the resulting hash instead of storing your actual password. That way, not even the company knows what your password is. They only know how to check if your password is correct. It's almost as if they thought about this. Yep. Very clever. When a user types in their password to log in,

instead of checking if the password matches, the company should pass it to the same hashing algorithm and check if the resulting hash matches the hash that was stored. This is one reason why you have to create a new password when you click forget password. Forgot password. It is a sign of bad security if a company emails you your current password when you forget it,

since there should be no way for the company to know what your actual password is the emailer from last week says he used his last pass this that company was hacked in the past but the user's data was not compromised because the hackers were only able to steal the hashes of the user's passwords which was useless for logging into any accounts um he said i hope that was helpful and not too boring uh cheers matt frisher I actually found that quite interesting yeah how do you plead

why is it my fault what have I done clearly he said there should be some encryption on the server side there should but the hashes

the hashes are involved what he's done he's obviously a very intelligent chap Matt he's written an email in quite a benign way about password security but what he's actually saying is, fuck you, Donaldson.

You don't know what you're talking about here. This is what needs to happen. So I'm asking how you feel about that. I feel alright. You don't care? You're not precious. No, not about anything. Well, actually, I'm very precious about technical knowledge. You're not Frischus. I'm not Matt Frischus. I thought that was quite good. The capricious Matt Frischus.

Bit of a step change. Yeah yeah but thank you for that Matt that was incredibly informative do you agree that I'm still not using last pass do you agree that security is not a dirty word Pete

I think most people who lose their shit through foul means are usually just tricked into giving up their information

so we shouldn't have this hysteria well to hack our email account hello at lukeandpeatshow.com. Yeah, just ask a question. Just try and, you know, fish our passwords. I've never been hacked, so I'm obviously doing okay. Well, no, I've never been hacked either,

and I've only been leaked by the Adobe leak and also... Ashley Madison. Ashley Madison, of course, yeah. Classic Ashley Madison, yeah. Pete, what do you think about past phrases? That's the future, isn't it? Well, you like sort of... We do like a phrase instead of a word because it's much more Madison, yeah. Pete, what do you think about past phrases? That's the future, isn't it? Well, you like sort of, what have you got? You do like a phrase instead of a word because it's much more safe, apparently.

God, half the time, those little, are you a robot things are, like the actual things don't work for me. I think I might be becoming a robot, Luke. I think you're part robot. I think I've thought that for some time now. Very upsetting. Do you want to do another email? Yeah, let's squeeze in a little one. I've got one as well. We need to do two more, I think. All part robot. I think I've thought that for some time now. Very upsetting. Do you want to do another email? Yeah, let's squeeze in a little one.

I've got one as well. We need to do two more, I think. All right, then. Jack Keywood. Actually, that'll be a nice main card, so why don't you do your email first? Okay, well, I've got a real quick one here saying, Hi, guys, love the show.

Just wanted to let you know that I saw a piece of bread in a public toilet today, and I thought the worst. That's from Robin. Thanks for that, Robin. But the email I wanted to do here was, do you remember us talking about heart attack snow? Yes. So we're going back over to the North East and US again now.

And this email is from David in Buffalo. Buffalo gets some heavy, heavy snow up in northern New York State. He says, I have a follow-up to an episode from several months ago in which you referenced what we call heart attack snow. This is my second time writing into the show. Oh, it's the same guy from buffalo when we talked about lake effect snow do you remember right where it was just dumped like nine foot of it was just dumped on half the town yeah um he says it's my second time writing about snow as well um so which may lend what i'm about to say a little more weight pun absolutely intended he says we're well into that time of year over here where we get lots of sudden drops

and rises in temperature, leading to quick but voluminous snowfall and then rapid melting before the cycle starts all over again a few days later. I love the word voluminous and volumetric. It's good.

What does volumetric mean? I don't know. No, fair enough. It's like volumetric light. It's like solid light in uh video games and shading kind of technology and stuff and voluminous just means a volume very volume i think it's kind of like something that has volume as well as volumetric right um he said yeah this cycle starts all over again and then that leads to a lot of the aforementioned heart attack snow which is what

you get when a very large amount of snow melts just a little bit making it very wet and heavy but doesn't liquefy completely this wet snow is several times heavier than an equal amount of fully solid snow and leads to roughly a hundred fatalities every year in the u.s due to cardiac arrests suffered suffered while shoveling uh this white shit uh to say nothing of the hundreds of fatalities on the road due to driving conditions and. I like this email because it sort of takes a bit of a turn and goes on and sort of turns into a sort of plea to his fellow man and woman to be sensible. He says, it may seem hard to fathom

why so many people would put themselves in such a position and not just stop when they feel a bit tired or stay home when the roads are bad. But a lot of it comes down to the cultural attitude towards snow and winter in the Northeast US, which can loosely be described as combative. To those of us who have grown winter in the northeast us which can loosely be described as combative to those of us who have grown up in the bitter northern wastes um the winter and the copious amounts of snow that accompanies it is like an old enemy that you have

to fight and defeat every year in order to earn your stripes as a proper uh northeasterner most people even if they have never lived there uh see the boastful posts on social media about how much snow we get and how southerners don't know how to cope with it, etc., etc. But it's impossible to describe to someone who's never lived here just how much the combative us versus the great white Satan mentality really affects us all. Even the people in charge of making important decisions like when to close schools and businesses because of the weather it can be affected i can remember when my local school was closed due to snow and the superintendent who was not originally from the northeast was essentially laughed out of town on the spot he says um my purpose of bringing this up is to say to my fellow northeasterners who i'm sure are also out there listening to the pod it's not worth it take care of yourself first and know when to tell your work or school to fuck

off yeah i mean that is correct isn't it i mean he says figuratively speaking i won't be held It's not worth it. Take care of yourself first and know when to tell your work or school to fuck off. Yeah, I mean, that is correct, isn't it? I mean... He says, figuratively speaking, I won't be held responsible if you do that, literally. He said, because you're not, you know, sometimes you can't make it in. The snow may win the battle,

but you'll be around to fight another day and win the war. And he signs off by saying, stay warm and stay safe, my fellow cold-blooded folk. Bravado. Well done, Dave. It's foolish.

Yeah. Bloody foolish. Yeah, Dave. It's foolish. Yeah. Bloody foolish. Yeah, I think that's right. Donald J. Trump just tweeted, Crazy Joe Biden is trying to act like a tough guy. Actually, he is weak, both mentally and physically, and yet he threatens me for the second time with physical assault.

He doesn't know me, but he would go down fast and hard, crying all the way. Don't threaten people, Joe. Hmm. My nipples are so hard. Yeah. Oh!

That's aroused me. That's something else, isn't it? Wow. Two white older men having a fight. Yeah, I'd take it. I'm in. I reckon Biden would do him, wouldn't he? He's got a bit of a reach, hasn't he?

Yeah, but Trump's old. Trump's in bad shape. He's in bad nick, Trump. I saw a fight with him the other day trying to play tennis. He's got a big old caboose, hasn't he? He looked like an oil tanker trying to play tennis. Big old caboose. He looked like an oil tanker with a tennis racket.

Big old booty. Let's get out of here, Luke. We've got so much to pile through for next week. You promised a mencarta. I'm going to save it for next week. All right. I'm on the side of the listener. They don't know what the mencarta is.

Are you off to go and change all your passwords? I'm going to work on my hashes. How do people get in touch with you? Amber Rudd, she used the word hashtag to the hashes.

Yeah, she did. That was a few months ago. She hasn't got a bloody clue, mate. She's in charge of it. I'm not in charge of it. She said, using my hashtag. You're very upset

with the idea of... A woman in power. Let me get this right. No, no. That wasn't what I was going to say. No. You're very upset. But it washed off you very quickly.

Like, that's something I would say. Half the stuff you say does. You're very upset with the idea of WhatsApp unencrypting their service for the government. Is that right? Well, yeah. I don't think it really matters.

The government want them to do it so that they can just listen in on all the government. Is that right? Well, yeah, I think it's I don't think it really matters. The government want them to do it so that they can just listen in on all the conversations. But they'll just find somewhere else. They'll hide in plain sight. They'll do it on PlayStation Voice Track. Who, terrorists? Terrorists. Alright, well that's a nice note on which to end episode 50. Alright then.

Why would you not celebrate episode 50 of the Luke and Pete Show, the finest podcast on the internet, by leaving us a review? So do that on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. And to get in touch, it's hello at lukeandpeetshow.com, and we bloody well look forward to hearing from you there. We'll see you next week for episode 51. Stick around for the next 50. It's only going to get worse.