The Luke and Pete Show - Episode 54: No! Not the bees!

Episode Date: April 12, 2018

It's Thursday and that means it's time for more nonsense from the terrible twosome. Luke and Pete are coming in your ears this time around with talk of early memories, including another story about bees, and the worst inventions of all time. Among all that, Luke tells us a delightful tale about old ladies in libraries, and we also get an update from the Dean at Cambridge after Monday's debacle on why Pete apparently didn't get into Peterhouse.After that, there's yet more horrific medical stuff from a currently serving doctor. You've been warned![e-mail] is the place to send your missives, drop a letter in there and we promise you we'll read it.*Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!* Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

if you haven't got problems i feel bad for you son drop us an email and maybe we can help hello at lukeandpeachshow.com it's thursday baby i'm pete donaldson and i'm joined by luke have you shaken off the sleepy dust of Monday show yet, Pete? Because I'll be honest, you were all over the place. All over the gaff. I just pressed the buttons wrong.

You did. I'm blaming the buttons. You got resplendent. I know you don't like me talking about this, but I genuinely would like to point out today that you are dressed impeccably today.

I would call a very faint, lilac, well-fitted shirt. It's not well-fitted. I've got boobies now, so I'm bursting out. That's why I like it. Boobies. Some, I would say, rusty orange-coloured trousers. A trouser.

Hides the piss. And some brown shoes. Yep. You look very well. Well, we're off to Naples tomorrow, so no doubt you're going to be rocking a blazer or two. I've got a couple of blazers on the go at the moment i've got a lovely uh cream linen one i just the problem with linen is it's um they get creased very easily obviously and so you've got to get them i can't steam them

myself i find it very difficult so i get them dry clean but trying to find uh equally as colourful linen suit as I have is very hard. They die very easily. Pete, I dry clean all my jackets, all my formal wear is dry cleaned. And my shirts. You should dry clean, yeah. I can't be arsed with ironing, that's the problem. Hang on, you get the people to iron your

shirts? No, when they dry clean them, they press them, they come back crease free. Christine. Yeah, it's top tip. L they press them, they come back crease-free, mate. Pristine. Yeah, it's top tip. Lazy. And you can get a good deal as well. Sometimes it's only like £1.50 a shirt. It's not that bad.

That's pretty. Am I out of touch with the common man? You are a little bit on that particular note, yeah. All right. Well, listen, I think when you get a bit older and you sort of appreciate these little luxuries a bit more, I'm not the sort of guy who just picks up a piece of clothing off the bedroom floor anymore like I was until I was about 36. I sometimes am that person.

Yeah, I know you are. Very much. I was wearing a T-shirt with a video game on it yesterday. So I was doing a bit of work for a video game company and a girl I was working with went, oh, what's that on your T-shirt? I was thinking she'd recognised the name. And she went, is that a game

I was like oh no what I'm so old but that's unacceptable surely so old it's not her problem

it's my problem but if you went she's a video game employee though no but like you can't know every game I don't know any games

from like the 70s Monkey Island is a famous game it's not that famous mate I think she's at fault I think you've done yourself a disservice there, mate. No, I've done Tim Schafer and Lucasfilm a disservice. Have you?

Slash LucasArts. LucasArts, yeah. I quite enjoyed, there were games around at that time, there was the LucasArts side, but then there was also the Sierra Online side. Right. And they made games like Space Quest and King's Quest and Quest for Glory.

But most importantly, my favorite one was called Police Quest. And it was the day-to-day machinations and, you know, the smallest parts, the minutiae of modern policing. Well, back in the 80s, kind of modern policing. And you had to kind of like read Miranda rights and set up flares. If you're going to a traffic stop and all this nonsense that you'd never need to know. It was so crappy, but I loved it because it was so kind of,

yeah, I do everything correctly and buy the book or you'd get in big trouble. Can you still find those now? No, no. University Unloved. I think the SWAT games came out of that in the end. I remember those, yeah.

There was a famous policeman who was involved in a fairly famous case. It might even have been the Rodney King situation. He might have been the chief of police at the time, and he was a consultant on the police quest games for quite a while. Well, great job. They just got better and better, mate. Just got better and better. Speaking of, you mentioned George Lucas there.

Someone told me a story the other day, I'm not sure if it's true, that Gary Kurtz, who produced some of the Star Wars movies, I believe he was involved with George Lucas a lot. And he did, I think he did Empire Strikes Back and Star Wars and Dark Crystal and that kind of stuff. Apparently he had some sort of breakdown and ended up becoming an IT guy in Hammersmith.

Really? And didn't do any movies post the mid-80s or something. And if you look at his Wikipedia page, and again, I'm sort of paraphrasing him because I'm not an expert on that type of stuff, he hasn't done much stuff for ages. So I think it might sort of be true. Could we bring him out of retirement for the Luke and Pete Shaw film? Maybe he doesn't want to be, he hasn't done much stuff for ages. So I think it might sort of be true. Could we bring him out of retirement

for the Luke and Pete Shaw film? Maybe he doesn't want to be. Maybe he's busy. But he fixed our computer though. Because it is slow. He might be able to. But that's your job. You're the IT guy here, Pete.

I'm not allowed to touch him anymore because every time I touch him he goes to shit. Yeah, that is true. There's too many moving parts in this system and if I touch them or if I try and make the system a little bit more amenable to

things I like, it messes up other systems. Apparently you're not, but surely you're not having to go out to the rig, are you? No, that's a different thing.

The recorder's a little slow at times. But the rig is the big laptop, the gaming laptop you bought and that's still running fine, is it? Mate, it runs fine. But I mean,

that could do with another reinstall as well. There's no greater pleasure than a fresh Windows install where you've got nothing installed. The problem with buying modern PCs is people, companies, app developers, do with another reinstall as well. There's no greater pleasure than a fresh Windows install where you've got nothing installed. The problem with

buying modern PCs is people, companies, app developers, their peer PC manufacturers to put their software on it. So you boot it up and all their software is

just blotted. It's just slow because there's so much crap being loaded into memory. Money, mate. Money. Am I right in saying

that back in the day, so say in the 80s and the early 90s, when video game developers were making video games, they had to make sure they were spot on correct and right

because there's no way you could get an update out there. There was certainly a little more, yeah. But these days, the video game world

is so sort of in demand and so pressured and they've got so much access to this technology that they'll release games. Will they ever go off like half-cocked and just release world is so sort of in demand and so pressured and they've got to sort of access this technology that they'll release games. Will they ever go off like half-cocked and just release updates later on? Day one patch like so they, so obviously with

delivering a box version of a video game you've got to deliver the gold disc they call it the master disc about a month before it actually comes out and obviously in that time you could use that time to improve the game somewhat and And then when that gets released, so most developers release a one-day patch.

But it's just excruciating. You download it, you buy a game and you take it home and all the data's on the CD or the DVD or the Blu-ray rather. And then you get it home

and then you've got to download like 18 gigabytes of files. And for a person who's on five megabits per second broadband in the centre of town, galling. Yeah, it's galling for me when

I play FIFA 18 on my PS4 and I'll play, obviously I'll do other stuff so I'm not always available to play computer games on my own and so when I do play, invariably I have to download an update. Yeah, for someone who's, imagine coming to video games for the

first time in like 20 years, you'd be like, what the flip is going on here? But then video games have gotten a lot more complex and crunch time has gotten a lot more intense and video game developers don't necessarily treat their staff very well. So give them as much rope as you can. What's the point you're making there then? I'm just saying that video game and stock market valuations

of particularly video game companies rely on the implicit and intrinsic fucking over of their staff. Okay. Crunch time where basically everyone just works seven day weeks for 15 hours a day, 17 hours a day. That's just a thing that happens every cycle. That's what I do. Every time a new video game gets made,

you're working that. But you and I get locked in a studio until we're done, don't we, slave labour? Well, I mean, this was recorded in 2016. We're just piling them out. We're just guessing. But anyway, that's a rather elongated intro to episode 54.

How's your week been, Pete? We're now on Thursday. It's been all right. Next week, we'll talk about our trip to Naples. Yes, exactly, because we're doing that this weekend, but alright next week we'll talk about our trip to Naples yes exactly because we're doing that this weekend but we recorded a week in advance

because to be quite frank we're struggling we're going to Naples we're going to Naples so we'll talk about that next week but your week's been okay all that aside Pete anything to report

what have I done I did that thing with the video game I was in VR for quite a while I had to extend the video game section but I was in VR quite a lot and I get quite nauseous

in certain video game situations. What were you doing there? There was three video games. One was a shooting game where you've got to shoot a lot of zombies and we've talked about the post-apocalyptic life

that I would lead because I do have a pre-existing asthma condition. I'd be one of the first people to die because I wouldn't have access to my asthma medication. And then after that there was a driving game

and then that made me feel really ill right there we go it was uh the vr version of wipeout recommended if you can stomach it it's beautiful is this a part of your job it's part of one of my jobs okay one of my balls my it's been this week i i learned something quite cute and i found personally quite fascinating today um and it was that a woman i forget who it was and it was on twitter so if she's listening which is unlikely she'll have to forgive me for not naming her but she deserves all the credit for this the woman who tweeted that she works in a library and um she's standing at the desk and a lovely old lady came up to the desk and said um

excuse me can you uh explain to me why every book I take out of the library has the number 7 on page 7 underlined? I saw the start of this, but I didn't have time to read the rest of it. Have you got the solution? Yeah, I know what happened. Okay, give me it. I'm excited.

And so the woman working in the library was like, oh, that's a bit odd. So she said, I'm not sure that can be the case. She said, no, it is, look. And she showed her a few books and the number seven on page seven was underlined. And she thought,

oh, maybe she's doing that herself. And she went off to get another book or whatever. And she hadn't even read this book or even spent any time with it. Opened that one and that also the number seven underlined. And she thought it was very strange.

She asked around. And anyway, to cut a long story short um what happened was as in this particular library i don't know if it's a more broadly um sort of participated in phenomenon but in this particular library a lot of the the older women who use the library and to get out books they uh read so many books of the same type, they never know whether they've read the particular book or not. So what they do when they read it is they do a little, each of them have got a little symbol. So one of them will put a little star in the top of page 10,

one will underline number 7 in page 7, and that's how they know when they grab a book off the shelf, they quickly flick to their symbol, and if their symbol's in there, they know they've read it, and they don't run it out again. That's such a good idea. Yeah. I could do that with a John le Carré because the amount of times

I've got halfway through I've done this one. I've read this one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, that's wonderful. Yeah, it's good, isn't it? What a charming end to that story. I thought it was going to be

like some kind of a cult sign and there was a murder and oh God. You thought it was going to end with and he'll kill again. And every person had the number seven carved into them it turned out to be the zodiac killer ted cruz yeah there you go yeah ted cruz is that ted cruz is there you go

so i thought that was quite a nice quaint way of opening the show i love that something very sort of british about that i did have a lute and peach uh short story but uh my um version of the email system on my phone it's not giving me the information I need. Well, I've got your back, mate. Don't worry, I've got your back. So that's why it's been... Here we go, I got it. Go on, then.

Actually, these are from months ago, but I don't think I ever used them. Huel, I tried Huel. Did we talk about Huel? You told me about it. The pea protein food supplement. Tried that for a while. Gives you farts at farts.com,

doesn't it? Oh, so stinky. Bourne music. Right. I want to talk about Bourne music. Basically, during Stalin's run

as head honcho in Russia post-World War II Russia. Head honcho. Big guy on campus. Yeah. All records

allowed in the country had to be of Russian composers. But, there was an underground situation, Hungary for rock and roll. Yeah. country was expensive and very risky. An ingenious solution to this problem began to emerge in the form of born music, or sometimes called bones and ribs music, or simply just ribs. A young 19-year-old sound engineer, Russian Boglowski, Boglowski, Bogloss, a guy called Ruslan. You okay? I'm going to have one more crack.

Go for it. I've got it. Bogoslawski. There we go. In Leningrad. Changed the game when he created a device to bootleg Western albums so he could distribute them across Russia. I hate getting foreign names wrong, and that upsets me, so sorry.

Problem was he couldn't find the material to bootleg his pressings onto. Vinyl was scarce, as were all petroleum products after the war. Then one day he stumbled upon a pile of discarded X-rays. It worked. At the time, Russian law dictated that all X-rays had to be destroyed after one year of storage because they were flammable. So he dug through the trash bins and paid off orderlies for used X-rays. And for 20 years, he handmade about 1 million bootlegs onto x-ray films of everything from classical music to the Beach Boys,

eventually spending five years in prison in Siberia for this rebellion. So Bourne music for 20 years was the only way Russian music lovers could get Western music, which they played at music and coffee parties in their kitchens away from KGB ears and eyes. Incredible. A testament to the underground courage to subvert authority, rebellion, and the love of music. And these things are beautiful.

Probably these long dead people with their broken ribs and broken arms and broken limbs and broken skulls have got these beautiful songs etched into them for all time. That's incredible, isn't it? You can buy some on the internet. I think the cheapest was some unidentified

music. It was about 20 quid. I do fancy getting involved in that kind of gear because it's a beautiful piece of work. I thought you meant they were going to be on actual bones. That is incredible. The ingenuity of people. There's a really interesting story, not quite as

detailed as that, in the documentary film Searching for Sugar Man. Have you seen that? Where, of story, not quite as, um, as detailed as that in the documentary film, uh, searching for sugar man. Have you seen that? Yeah. Where of course a lot of music, um,

was, uh, censored by the apartheid government. And, um, so the way that, that Rodriguez's music got through in South Africa was essentially just being shared among people,

like home peer to peer, like recording essentially. And, and in the movie, as you know, because you've seen it, but for those who are listening who haven't, they go to this archivist, and she pulls out an archived Rodriguez record, and certain songs on the vinyl,

you can see have just been scratched out. Yeah, and it's someone's job to actually do that on every single record. Incredible, isn't it? Are you going to be so precise with that sort of thing? It's funny how governments just lose their minds, isn't it? It is, though, isn't it? You've got to be so precise with that sort of thing. It's funny how governments just lose their minds, isn't it? It is, though, isn't it? And this is what I think...

It's just creating more trouble than it's worth. It is, but I was talking to you about this, Pete, last week. I've never done something with the internet like Chinese Firewall. You can kind of do that, but scratching out every record. But you know what? Without getting into too serious a theme, because a few people were chipped off last week saying we were a bit serious last week

and I understand why. But, you know, this is something you and I chatted about last week which was, and it's very similar to the AI thing, this idea that artificial intelligence, one day you're going to wake up and there's going to be robots everywhere

and it's going to be sinister and terrifying. It's the same with authoritarianism in the world. It doesn't just happen overnight. It creeps. It creeps in. AI creeps in the same way it's cre just happen overnight. It creeps. It creeps in. AI creeps in the same way it's crept in for the last however many years.

We have AI around us all the time now. And people don't realise. And it's the same with authoritarianism, which is why you've got to be careful for these telltale signs. Before you know it, the government are stopping you listening to records,

stopping you watching movies, and then you're in real trouble. And it isn't impossible to conflate capitalism and authoritarianism. Look at the way neutrality is affecting how people access the internet. Just as a caveat, Pete, I would say some of the movies you have access to shouldn't be viewed by anyone. No, they should scratch out my eyes when I'm looking at them.

They should, actually, because they're burned onto everyone's retina. In response to somebody giving it a big one saying we were too serious last week, I have Omar's email. Okay, it's email time. It's straight into email time. Should we take a short break? If you want to. Alright then, we'll be back with emails, baby. Okay, Luke, don't gunge me, mate. Pipe down, Pete.

I told you never to argue with the customers. Dear Luke and Pete Shaw. And before you proceed, don't forget you promised people on Monday a Mencarta to commemorate Maya Angelou's 90th birthday. Yes, happy birthday, Maya Angelou. I'm sure she's listening. Good morning, Omar.

Dear Luke and Pete Shaw, long time listener, second time emailer, I don't blame you for ignoring my first effort. By the way, I should point out, Maya Angelou is dead, right? You know that. Say again? Maya Angelou is dead. Yeah, that say again Maya Angelou is dead

yeah good okay I was just checking you were making a joke I'm not she's she's not going to be listening either way is she well not she's dead no no

yeah long time listener second time emailer and I'm not crying because I've just found that out I don't blame you for knowing my first effort whilst listening to the

various contributions regarding oddities of people's fetishes I had a light bulb moment to a practice I came across whilst at medical school. We like medical stories. Oh, God. How bad is this out of 10?

Bodies of fessiny in what? How bad is this out of 10? It's pretty tame. It's not very visceral. It's definitely more funny than visceral. I trained in London, and during a placement at a North London hospital, we were being taught by one of the more senior surgical consultants. He shared a story with us about a gentleman who kept coming back to the clinic

with a rash and small blisters around his stoma. Oh, Jesus. A stoma being a loop of bowel that is brought up to the skin surface to redirect bowel contents externally into a bag. So basically just a hole in your gut that fires out shit into a bag. After repeated visits and investigations into what the cause of this weird rash was, the gentleman shared a key piece of information that shed new light on the story. Make sure you're sitting down for this.

He informed the consultant that he had been engaging in the practice of deadpiping. When the doctor looked at him in an inquisitive manner, the patient revealed that his partner had been having sex with the said stormer and that he had been concerned about his partner's cleanliness. Dirty. A swab later... I mean, men will fuck anything, won't they?

My God. Make a new hole, they'll fuck it. My God. A swab later, it was revealed that the rash was indeed herpes and it had indeed been transmitted by sexual intercourse. When I say to you, how bad is this? What you should have said was absolutely horrendous. We've not heard the word fluid.

We've not heard the word weeping. It's just sore, just herpes. Just herpes, baby. Just deal with it. Who was the name of the emailer? Omar. I mean, thanks for that, Omar. Omar coming.

Omar coming. Omar coming. Yes. But you know, right into our brainstormers. The thing is Pete, we, we, we,

we take for granted, we will sell that's a horrendous story. I'm just, medical professionals will see stuff all the time. Luke, all the time. Love finds a way. Men will fuck anything.

God, stop saying that. They will. Stop saying it. Just saying. Stop saying it. Oh, by the way, speaking of, um, speaking of, uh, callbacks, we weren't speaking of callbacks, but I just will. Stop saying it. I'm just saying. Stop saying it. Oh, by the way,

speaking of callbacks, we weren't speaking of callbacks, but I just thought I'd say it. On Monday, I spoke to the Dean of Peterhouse Cambridge, by the way, Pete, and he said there was absolutely no chance you were getting there.

They're all about you, son. Yeah. There's no chance. He said his exact words were, don't blame your background for not being good enough to get into my college. Is it a hole in my stoma? Yeah, or are you just pleased to see me thanks for omar and i do mean

uh please never email again no this is from ben um i really like this email pete um he says hi guys listening to episode 49 and luke's mention of his first memory being a bee sting reminded me of one of my earliest memories which is along the same theme. This is a proper trip down memory lane. Myself, around five at the time, I think, and my older brother were messing around in the trees next to our grandparents' garden. We stumbled across a small metal pole thing, I think wrench-sized, so as any boys would do, we started seeing what we could smash up with it. That's another thing boys will always do, isn't it?

Hugely. Yeah. It was so predictable. He said, so we started hitting it, trees, bushes, and things like that. We saw a dead tree stump, which was rotting away, and so perfect to try and break down.

Perfect rotten hole in this tree stump. It's not going that way. He was five years old. He said, we started going at it, so to speak, but a couple of minutes later, we start hearing a loud buzzing noise. This was immediately followed by a large group of wasps that were understandably extremely annoyed

two young boys were destroying their home. I mean, a bald move, isn't it? Smacking it up. They just absolutely went at us, chasing and stinging us while we ran and screamed back to the house. Our parents obviously came out to see what was going on, but we just bolted past them into the house shouting,

bees, bees, like Nicolas Cage. We didn't take the time to see if there were wasps or bees. End result was me and my brother naked in the shower together to kill the wasps that were still trying to get us and my dad having to go through the house hunting any survivors down with the wasp spray. Contradict toete's button memory uh however i suppose it makes sense that early memories are either going to be really good

or really shitty i mean he finishes by saying listen to this pete do you remember four or five years ago after a ramble live show in london we're going to the pub with some fans who were in attendance that was me and my mates from work everything was going well chatting footy and drinking beer until my mate jim Jimmy knocked his beer all down Luke Luke played it cool but was clearly pretty annoyed cheers Ben I don't remember that

I don't either that Ben spillage I'm quite a gentle giant anyway I'm not somebody to get in trouble am I gentle giant yeah so if you want to go for a pint

and then pour it all over me hello at LukeandPeteShow.com it reminded me of a story that about a good friend of mine actually whose dog inadvertently sniffed out a wasp's nest. And the wasp just descended on him.

Oh, no. And they tried to call the dog back in. It took the dog ages to come back in because it got really confused. The dog was fine in the end, but it was absolutely horrific. I don't like those stories. Have you seen dogs that have eaten a bee or eaten a wasp? Yeah. And their mouths go really big.

Can I tell you a story which you're not going to believe me, but several members of my family were there when it happened. I promise you this happened. My sister's got a cat called Boris. And Boris came in through the cat flat once where we were all sat around at my sister's house. He just sat there.

And we were looking at him. And my sister said, Boris. And he meowed in response. As he meowed, a bee came out of his mouth. Ha ha, nice. I promise you, I promise you that happened. The Trojan horse of cat-bee relations.

And I've seen a couple of my, well, I've got two cats. Magnus has definitely had his face swollen before because he's stuck his face in something. I had to take him to the vet because he stuck his face into a hedgehog. I told you that, didn't I? Oh, right. And he had spines

all over his face. They're idiots, man. I think all animals are a bit silly, aren't they? They're total idiots. And very instinctual. But yeah, shall we have a

Maya Angelou theme definitely alive Mankata? Could I have one? Is this about the inventor? Yes. Oh, okay, go ahead then. We've definitely

got to include that. Okay, yeah. Let's do that in Oh, okay, go ahead then. We've definitely got to include that. Okay, yeah. Let's do that. All right, then. Let there be justice for all. Let there be peace for all. And one small step for man. You don't understand.

Willie was a salesman. Say simply, very simply, with hope Good morning Good morning Great Great to have Maya Angelou on the podcast there Many happy returns Just, you know, I think her voice sounds great when she says

We'll leave it to the salesman Yeah That was a good bit Very good Daniel in Berkshire Hello, Daniel Hi, guys I was tidying my childhood bedroom the other day why he was doing that that's so weird you come home and clean up your childhood bedroom

yeah man we've moved house three times and discovered a book called the Book of Heroic Failures by Stephen Pyle. Wasn't there a Lemmy sketch where he asks basically someone to go in his house sort of thing and goes in his childhood bedroom. He's like, oh, I lived here quite a long time ago. Can I come and have a look at my bedroom? I haven't seen this. It sounds funny. And he pulls up the floorboard and pulls up some drugs or a can of lager or some pornography.

To an actual person's house? Yeah. Get out, get out. A couple of entries caught my eye. This is back to Daniel from Berkshire's show. None could be backed up with a bit of internet research. Until I came across someone I would like to add to Mankata. The name Arthur Paul Pedrick might not mean much, but he is widely known as the most unsuccessful inventor

patenting about 160 inventions. None were taken up commercially. He must be British, this guy, surely. Yeah, well, the great thing about... So it's a great classic British eccentricity is that he's the inventor. I think James Dyson's got a bit of that about him. Well, he's the only one, really.

It was probably the 80s, because you'd have people like Sir Clive Sinclair Alan Sugar these men who were kind of celebrities for inventing things

but Sugar's not an inventor though no but like he was the figurehead of you know a fairly rudimentary

PC company you could invent things and sell it and have a name behind it the list of inventions of the one man

think tank basic physics research laboratories of 77 Hillfield Road, Celsie in Sussex, that's how he described himself, include a,

an amphibious bicycle, a car that can be driven from the back seat. When's that ever going to be useful? When is that ever going to be useful? That's the second one on the list. I know. That's one of the better ones. A golf ball that can be steered mid-flight.

Useful. But the thing is, though, Pete... I imagine it's pretty obvious what you're doing. Yeah, but this is like... But has he actually included the invention part of this? Or are these just ideas that could be good if someone could do them? Oh, no, I think he's actually invented them. Because one of the greatest podcast moments of all time

is on the Ricky Gervais show with Carl Pilkington, who talks about the invention of a death watch where he says what would be a great what is an idea if it is an invention

you put a watch it's a watch that tells you when you're going to die and Ricky Gervais says alright well how does it actually work and he says

well just put it on your wrist but no you've not invented that it's just an idea so is this guy is this guy actually invented it? Didn't Charlie Brooker, didn't

Charlie Brooker's Black Mirror sort of do a storyline and everyone was like, oh my God, it's like I'll be looking to Right. I haven't seen that

episode, but I wouldn't be surprised. But what, is there any detail in here? Has he actually done this or is he just saying these would be good things to do?

He's invented these things. A self-driving golf ball does actually sound quite good. Yeah, how would you sort of do that? Exactly, I don't know. A little kind of thing that taps on the side to affect the flight. Yeah. Or a gyroscope of some kind.

A pea shooter to fire constant snowballs to deserts to irrigate them. He's not built that. No way is he built that. He's not very clear. No way. He's also got a series of way is he built that. Let's make that very clear. No way. He's also got a series of quotes. Could I also say that? I love that because, by the way, if you go to a desert,

it's not the fact that it's dry. It's not because it's dry there's no... You're going to lose that water immediately. You can't just pour water in the desert and it'll grow. That's not how it works. He also has a series of quotes, my personal favourite of which is, it's been the opinion of my ginger cat that the cats that you see sponsoring various brands of tin cat food on TV are just as hypocritical as the various actors one sees sponsoring on TV various commercial products.

And in fact, my ginger cat prefers ordinary corned beef to most brands of cat food. Imagine a cat raised on corned beef. Incredible. Is Stephen Pyle still alive? I don't think so. Surely not. But I'm sure we can find out if we Google him. Arthur Paul Pedrick.

Arthur Paul Pedrick. Yeah. I thought you said he was called Stephen Pyle. No, where did that come from? I don't know. Stephen Pyle. Oh, it's a book of heroic failures by Stephen Pyle. Oh, right.

Sorry. So, yeah. Great stuff. Thank you very much, Daniel, in Berkshire. Whenever anyone talks about the worst inventions, and I can't believe we haven't mentioned this on the show before, and in fact we may have, but if we have, it's a long time ago. Franz Reichelt, the guy who invented the parachute jacket.

You know that story? It's a famous story. He was a tailor, but he was also someone who I think was interested in the early phenomenon of parachuting. Is he the one who jumped off the Eiffel Tower? Yeah, and to demonstrate... There's a video of him doing it. Oh, is there really? Yeah, you see him at the deck and everyone's going,

oh. But in a really kind of old school way, sort of going, I've lived through a couple of wars. So he's, yeah, he's brushed it off. So he was so confident with his idea of this parachute jacket. Interesting enough, Pete, you do see people, those Red Bull people doing that now they just brushed it off so he was so confident with his idea of this parachute jacket which is interesting in Lough Peat you do see people

those Red Bull people doing that now off the side of mountains and stuff so the principle is sound that's a wingsuit yeah but it's the same principle isn't it

they can land they land don't they no you can't just land how fast do wingsuits go they are incredibly fast they're incredibly dangerous yeah but they they fly really close

to mountains and they pull up and they land I have to think about that that's something I would say Yeah, but they fly really close to mountains, and they pull up and they land. I have to think about that. I'm just saying. That's something I would say. You've definitely got to have a parachute at the end of it,

I'm fairly certain. Solve this conundrum. Hello at Luke and Pete's shop. Oh, let's go wingsuiting. Wingsuiting with Muir. There's not one big enough for me. Anyway. I've got to have really long arms. Let me finish this story about Franz Reichelt,

because he was so confident in his parachute jacket that he literally chucked himself off the Eiffel Tower and inevitably died, which I think is just quite poignant. Don't you? Yeah. Well, no, it's very romantic, isn't it? Imagine sort of going,

this is going to work, this isn't working. Oh, there's a boulangerie. Smash. To link all this back together, boulangerie. The scene is so all this back together, boulangerie. The scene is so typically French. Oh, and he landed

on a massive baguette so he survived. He didn't. He died. But taking this back full circle because we're talking about VR and video games

at the start of this. Remember that period of time in sort of the mid-90s where video game manufacturing went mental for VR the first time around? And Nintendo did

The Virtual Boy in the mid-90s, which was the most sort of clunky, huge... It was a Game Boy, but they used... They had goggles, didn't they? It was goggles and a chin rest and stuff like that. I've used one a few times, actually. My mate's got one, and I used one in Japan as well. Was the net result crippling headaches?

They're still not as collectible as you think. No, it was like when I was Tormy. You know, there's the Tormy kind of looky, looky, looky games

where you used to look in and they'd sort of be lit up. It was just a normal Super Mario game with maybe a little bit of background, like a kind of double

kind of effect in the background. But it was, yeah, it was, the effect wasn't obscene, but it was great. So you wouldn't call it the worst invention ever? No, no, it was fine. Alright, effect wasn't obscene but it was so you wouldn't call it

the worst invention ever no no it was fine alright good it was fine good alright I think that's just about it from us Peter alright then

let's get over here thank you for joining us once again hello at lukeandpete.com to get in touch we love hearing from you all your emails

keep them coming in and we'll be back next week with talk of our trip to Naples check out our Twitter account and our Instagram for that

Luke and Pete at Luke and Pete show, at Luke and Pete show, of course. We'll try and do a bit of stuff while we're out there as well. And we'll look forward to it. We'll see you next week. See you later, guys.

Have a good weekend. Because it's a Thursday and I got that right that time. So thank you. I got this for free