The Luke and Pete Show - Episode 57: When meat fell from the sky

Episode Date: April 23, 2018

This week, we hear more about not only school trips, but school visits from celebrities including a truly heart-wrenching tale about a listener that missed out on an encounter with Kriss Akabusi.There's also time for a truly depressing domestic tale, a *magnificent* mishearing of a school staple that you won't want to miss, and a weird period WHEN MEAT FELL FROM THE SKY. Also, listeners to this damn show have started using our email address to sign up to wifi all over the world, something we naturally support and endorse. Keep it interesting though, yeah? There's only so many Virgin East Coast Trains emails we can realistically receive.At the risk of encouraging this nonsense, it's: [e-mail]***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's Monday, and that can mean many things. One of which is there's a new Luke and Pete show to listen to. Hello, I'm Pete Donaldson, I'm joined by Luke Miller. Alright, everyone? How's it going? Going alright. Oh, you're asking me or the listener? Er, everybody, but the listeners can't speak or talk back at me. All right, everyone? How's it going? Going all right. Oh, you're asking me or the listener? Everybody, but the listeners can't speak or talk back at me.

I speak on behalf of them, and they've told me to tell you to buck up your bloody ideas, young man. No way. No way, Hosier. No way. My ideas are not to be bucked. It's funny. This lady is not for bucking, which was actually a euphemism for sex back in school days in the Northeast.

Bucking? I bucked her. It's a. Bucking? I booked her. It's a miss her. That's blowjaw all over again. Since we've been doing this show, Pete, Mondays have been like a dream for me. A dream? Yeah.

Life is but a dream. A wonderful dream. What, hanging out with me? Yeah. There you go. I don't mind it. I mean, we frequently record on a Thursday, but you know. Wherever.

We fit it in wherever we can. Exactly. To me, it's exhilarating spending time with you because you never know what you're going to get. I just told you an off-air dream that I trained. About gibbons? I trained a gibbon to say I love you to Jamal O'Sullivan and Robert Elliott, the goalkeeper and defender, inversely

respectively. And he didn't say the little gibbon that I had. He was so lovely, respectively. Yeah. That's the United. And he didn't say the little gibbon that I had. Oh, he was so lovely, though. What was his name? People have lovely dreams about, I don't know, their family being happy and amazing things happening. But I'd be happy with a gibbon.

I was just carrying this gibbon around, and I'd basically train it to go, I love you. I love you. But not like, you know, when people train their dogs and go, I love you. Yeah. But this was doing it properly. It was going, I love you. But not like, you know, when people train their dogs and go, I love you. Yeah. But this was doing it properly. It was going, I love you.

There can be no mistake what this Gibbon is saying, what this Gibbon is articulating. And I wanted him to say, I love you to Jamal Asselz and Rob Elliot, but he was having none of it. And I was furious with the little shit. Did the Gibbon have a name?

No. No. No. I think it might be wearing a nappy though, because there was a Gibbon that used to wear a nappy in the zoo he used to work in. Gibbons are understudied, aren't they? They are understudied and misunderstood. No. I think it might be wearing a nappy, though, because there was a gibbon that used to wear a nappy in the zoo he used to work in. Gibbons are understudied, aren't they? They are understudied and misunderstood.

Yeah. Because they're lesser apes, and they're not as sexy as gorillas. So people don't necessarily do a lot of studies about them, but I think they're bloody brilliant. I think they're bloody lovely. Bloody lovely little sods. It's about the time of the show,

a couple of minutes in, where I bring everyone up to speed with what we were talking about the previous week in case it's escaped your memory. I know it's definitely escaped your memory, Pete. And before I do that

very, very quickly, when I say, oh, you never know what you're going to get with Pete and that's why it's exhilarating being his friend and working with him. When you could get,

he could walk in and give you a story about a dream about a gibbon. But he could come in and have an almighty tantrum about something you never really ever considered that was even on his radar. Right.

I'm talking about you. Right. Yeah, is that fair? Yeah, I guess so. What do you mean? Why would I be angry about something in particular? I'm not generally an angry man. I mean, because we work together, I get angry at you a lot.

You're explosive. You are very explosive. It's like Hades Comet. Emotional. It doesn't come along very often, but when it does, it's bloody beautiful. I think I'm very much like, when it does, it's bloody beautiful. I think I'm very much like... I'm a Roroborios. Yeah, is that right?

I'm contained in your kitchen, Skinner. Last week, we talked about Naples. We talked about Pete having bare feet in the studio. We talked about Turkmenistan's door to hell and how not to find it. We talked about Easter sausages. Duncan Bannatyne, more on him later. Eggs, Craig Charles and a men carter about a man

who had a proton beam fired through his head and survived. I've noticed that you've actually got your shoes off as we speak. I have, but I'm wearing socks. Yeah, but those shoes, you've got a pair of trainers that have got your name on them. Have you also got your name on those as well? Initials. LMC.

L-A-M and K-M-C. K-M-C. What's K-M-C? My wife's initials. Oh, that's nice. Oh, yeah, it's backfired, isn't it, Donaldson? Yeah, he's backfired that, isn't it? They're the boots you kick away from.

That is unacceptable. For goodness sake. For goodness sake. People are using helloatlukeandpeachshow.com to get in touch with us and involve themselves in the show, something we endorse.

Something else that's been happening is that there's been a developing trend amongst our listenership to sign up helloatlukeandpeachshow.com to all manner of things.

This week we've had Gatwick Airport Wi-Fi. That could have been you, Pete, because we were at Gatwick Airport. Chiltern Railways, that definitely wasn't you. Brother, which I think is some sort of

men's lifestyle website Brother unless that is the real brother getting in touch yes we are interested in a sponsorship Map My Run as well if you are going to do this

you're a Map My Run kind of guy aren't you I used to use it but now I use Strava so I don't need to Strava if you are going to do this do make it somewhere original

we don't need to see another load of East Coast mainline Wi-Fi or Starbucks. Starbucks was one, wasn't it? We don't need Starbucks. Hardcore pornography, please. No, not that either. Pete, what do you think about that?

What do you know about any of these things? Chiltern Railways. Hardcore pornography. No. Loads. Chiltern Railways. There was a Chiltern FM, which I think were owned by the Capital Company. And I was always fascinated as to what they were all about.

The Chilterns is an area of the country. It's not far away from here, is it? It's like, it's out near Hertfordshire and Buckinghamshire, I think. It's an area of outstanding natural beauty. And the Wi-Fi heard his first rate on the railway station.

So, the railway network. So anyway, hello at LukeandPete.com to get involved in any of this foul jamboree. Pete, what's been floating your boat this week? Well,

we got up really early today to do a football ramble because Max had to go to the doctors. Yeah. Oh, podcast crossover alert. Podcast crossover alert.

But yeah, and so I'm a little bit sleepy. I've not really done, what did I do over the weekend? I had a lovely Saturday. Nice weather, wasn't it? I hung out with a friend. It was lovely. I'm a little bit sleepy. I've not really done... What did I do over the weekend? I had a lovely Saturday. I hung out with a friend. It was lovely. I played a bit of football

and I walked from Lambeth all the way home, really. You were in Lambeth? You could have come to my house. I was playing football. Fair enough. Busy playing football. Where were you playing football specifically?

Some park. I did that app thing. The great thing about those apps is that nobody's good enough to have their own team. So they're always a bit shit. And that I fit in beautifully there. And you always like to see interesting characters.

There was a Football Ramble listener who I played football with. He was playing. And also there was this Brazilian guy who kept on doing bicycle kicks and stuff. He was amazing. Was he actually good? Yeah. I mean, if you can execute a bicycle kick, you're pretty good, I think.

Like, if you're, you know, if you're bold enough. Yeah, that was some of the commentary I heard when Renata did it. If you can execute that, you are pretty good. Nine aside.

It was lovely on Saturday, wasn't it? It was beautiful. I noticed the Big Ben's, they pulled the arms off. They pulled the legs off Big Ben. Yes, they have. They're cleaning it up, aren't they? They have, yeah. They've the legs off Big Ben. Yes, they have. They're cleaning it up, aren't they?

They have, yeah. They've got to do that at some point. You were telling me that Big Ben and the Houses of Commons and the House of Lords, it's just ruinous. It's just absolutely ruinous. And nobody wants to, no government wants to put their hands in their pockets because it would be seen as, Basically, it's subsiding, and it might fall down at any moment,

but no government wants to put the amount of money that needs to be spent on it in their millions or billions of pounds because they don't want to be seen as spending money on themselves, effectively. There's talk of either moving it out of London entirely, moving it, I think, possibly to the Midlands to make it a little bit more egalitarian

for everyone living in the UK. And there's also talk that it will cost in the billions to refurbish it because it's so old. I personally think it would be a shame to move it because it's so historic. I mean, I've walked around the House of Commons. It's a fascinating place. And the history there is unbelievable.

There is no reason why they couldn't maintain that particular situation, I think. Well, they don't want to spend the money, Donny. They spend money on all kinds of nonsense. Listen, if you were in charge of the purse strings, my man,

it would be absolutely ruinous. We would not be giving money to pro-abortionist Irish groups, let's say. They're not pro-abortionists, are they? Pro-life. Sorry.

Anti-abortionists. And that's another reason why you wouldn't be in charge. I've given all the money to pro-abortionists, are they? Pro-life. Sorry. Anti-abortionists. And that's another reason why you wouldn't be in charge. I've given all the money to the pro-abortionists. By assembled, honourable ladies and gentlemen, I appear to have misspoke in my keynote speech last week. I've given all the money to the non-psychotic groups and I meant to give it to the psychotic ones. I was quite drunk.

It was a lovely day on Saturday. Didn't somebody send in an email to Luke who paged you like a really mad one? And then about two hours later they went, sorry, I don't know what that was about. I was very drunk. Yeah. There send an email to Luke and Pete, you're like a really mad one, and then about two hours later they went, sorry, I don't know what that was about, I was very drunk.

Yeah, there was an email coming, basically I think slagging us off, and then 12 hours later another email came in, presumably the next morning saying,

yeah, I've been drunk. Oh, God. Well, I get drunk, I get really sort of like, hey everyone, like if I see anyone on Facebook Messenger

and I'm not spotting them in the fridge, I go, all right, Steve, what's going on? Oh, your kids are cute.

Wicked. Oh God. And I've not spotten them for ages. And then the next morning I'm like, who the fuck did I talk to? There's a lot of reasons

why you won't be in charge of the refurbishment of the House of Commons and the House of Lords. Slides. There's just a few of them there. There'd be Gibbons in there. Bounty Castle.

Wouldn't there? Yes. Imagine Gibbons in the house. Yeah. A few. Yeah, we've already got them. Yeah. The house recognises.

Yeah. Oh, satire. The house recognises the honourable member for the Chilterns. Ooh, ooh. Ha, ha, ha. They actually sound like bloody car alarms. Do they? Gibbons?

They're very loud. So is that another wrong stereotype by me? Well, I mean, the ooh, ooh, ah,ah is very much a monkey slash chimpanzee noise. More of a chimpanzee, sorry. That's a chimp, isn't it? Yeah. That's a chimp with a play face. It's half a million, no, but I've not done serious time in a primate enclosure at the zoo,

so I'll have to defer to you on that. So this is if they're angry, when they look like they're smiling. Yeah. That's angry. Showing their teeth, right? When they're having fun. Yeah. That's when they're happy.

It doesn't make you happy. Do one. Yeah, it does. You can't be sad when you're doing a horse. No, that is very true. And if you've learned nothing else from the laps. Let's go to a break because I genuinely have misplaced all the emails and I can't find any of them.

Well done. Cheers. That's something I do. Yeah. Oh, wow. Okay, Luke, don't gunge me, mate. Pipe down, Pete. I told you never to argue with the customers.

Don't misplace the emails, mate. While you're looking for the emails, shall I give you one of mine? One of my collection? I found him. I saved it. For some reason, I saved it in the Max Pages software.

I've never done that before. Who even uses Pages? I sent someone an invoice for some work I did with Pages and then didn't realise. I was like, oh, sorry about that.

Do they pay? Do they pay up? I've still not converted it to a doc format so that they can use it. Oh, really? Do you know what I like to do? I like to put the titles

of the emails, hello at lukeandpetech. like to do i like to put the um the titles of the emails hello at luke and picture.com to get in touch you guys are the engine room of this show of course very we like telling all your stories well not all of them some of them i don't particularly like to learn some of them and i like to give uh headlines um so so i know what to expect when i've read through them in advance um for the one i think you're going to read is it from callum uh i was gonna start with Callum. Yeah, I thought you might do. Just to give you an idea

of what I feel about this, I've headlined this particular email a depressing domestic tale. Oh, why? Well, you're about to find out. That's not wrong with this. Callum. Good evening, lads.

Just listening to the show, episode 53. I'm glad to see that the numbering system has kind of caught on and people know how to reference things I had a nightmare today I've named a couple

of them wrong it took me ages to work out what I've done so we're not naming we'll number them on the place where people download them but I'm not talking

about the numbers on the show you're obsessed with them it's your favourite thing to do you always tell me oh this is going to be episode 54 55

and I'm like Luke you're making me talk to a given mate I don't care this is why I be episode 54, 55, 56, and I'm like, Luke, you may as well be talking to a given mate. I don't care. This is why I'm doing it, and just to give people an insight, the reason I've done that is because doing this show with you is like being in the middle of a massive storm, and I need to grab

hold of something solid that's not going to move so I know where I am. I know which way I'm facing. You've made your own weird labyrinth for no reason. I'm never going to get out. Good evening, lads. I'm just listening to the show, episode 53, and the woman who emailed in about her bare-naked ladies being Canadian, or the bare-naked ladies being Canadian. Her bare-naked ladies?

My bare-naked ladies. They're in the roof. During this email, you presume that her and her husband shared a remote. In most cases, this should be normal. A more than fair presumption. A more than fair presumption sounds like a whimsical Dickens tale. Agatha Christie's a more than fair presumption. A more than fair presumption sounds like a whimsical Dickens tale. Agatha Christie's a more than fair presumption.

Yeah, that's probably more accurate. However, in my case, it is not a more than fair presumption. My girlfriend and I live with our parents, and the house is generally rather busy, so we spend a significant amount of time in our room. My girlfriend is a massive gaming geek, whilst the only game I ever touch is Football Manager, and we'll try and watch any kind of sporting event at any opportunity

apart from motor racing, but that isn't sport. Well, let's not open that can of worms. I saw an F1 driver drinking champignons out of his shoe. Is that a new thing? Wow. Or is that like a kind of laddy thing that they started? And they say, oh, it's Steve's first shoeie of the F1 season. Is that what they said?

Yeah, they call it a shoeie. I've never heard of that before. No, no, no. I would know less than nothing about Formula 1, though. I mean, you'd spend most of your time out of your shoes, so your shoes probably don't stink at all. To accommodate my obsession with sport in general, we purchased a second TV.

This is now essentially my TV with its own remote. Does she have batteries? And she has her TV and her remote, Duracell, so I can watch sport until my heart's content while she can game in peace I mean you might as well

not be together that's what's depressing nah she's sat there with headphones on gamer you're watching what you want to watch

on TV you're basically cohabiting did you say kind of like she has headphones on well I mean she's going to be

isn't she why surely it's a full multimedia experience these days isn't it nah you can get away with it. Unless you're playing

PUBG and you're listening for footsteps in the house. That's what I'm saying. If someone creeps up behind you put a bullet in your dome because you didn't

hear them coming. And that's just in the spot he's watching. Exactly. I just find that listen with the greatest respect to Callum it works for

them and who am I to judge another relationship? No one at all. But we don't even have a TV in our bedroom where I live. You know, one of those people at school who would spend all of their time trying to coerce a conversation into talking about TV,

so they go, I haven't got a TV. No, I watch loads of TV. Anyone who listens to this show will know I watch a huge amount of television, but not in the bedroom. Not in the bedroom. Just get a laptop out. Love making only. No. It in the bedroom. Just get a laptop out. Love making only. No.

It's the room for love making. Thank you, Callum, for your depressing... I don't think it's depressing. I think it's cool. Yeah, well, thanks for getting in touch. And also it subverts the male-female kind of normal

gamer slash sports fan. That's why you like it because you like to upset the apple cart. Yeah. And take people out of the pigeon holes we've put them in. Exactly. And hello at lukeandpeacher.com if you want to get in touch

because if you're new to the show, some of the emails literally are as mundane as that. Well, I've told you my mum and dad have their own little headphones, haven't they? How is Stuart getting on? Yeah, fine. He's going to come down and stay in my house by himself for a week while I'm away,

but he's not doing that now for some reason. Right. And why have your parents got separate wireless headphones? Because they're fucking weirdos, Luke. Right. What purpose does that serve, though? Because if they're watching the same thing on TV, then... Well, sometimes they're watching the same thing,

sometimes they're watching different things. My mum's TV is upstairs in the bedroom, and my dad's is downstairs, and it's the main telly, and they just... Oh, the hierarchy is your dad gets the main TV. Well, no, I mean, he doesn't, but he you know he shoves himself

in front of it a lot quicker than me mum so he's up early obviously yeah he's up at one yeah so that's that'll always be incredible to me

and everyone listening at home I'm sure he's on Japan time yeah he is that's why he should go to Japan I know that would make for

such good storytelling I know right anyway let's do another email this one's from Pete not you it's from Pete, not you. It's from Pete, not the Pete. Not the Pete.

And Pete says, Hello, Luke and Pete. Long time listener, first time emailer, as they say. I don't know why people do say that, by the way. What? It doesn't really matter if it's your first time email or not. You know. Well, no, I think they're sort of going... I've been inspired to get in touch.

I've been inspired, yeah. I've bided my time. Cool. You're biding me time. Yeah. I've been meaning to add to your. I've been inspired, yeah. I've bided my time. Cool. You're biding me time. I've been meaning to add to your school outings theme for ages now, but I've finally gotten around to it as a server malfunction at work has rendered us useless. How's he sending an email if there's no server, Pete?

It's a really different server. Must be. Always, always isolate your servers. Massively. Does that make any sense? Eh. Sort of. Anyway, so we talked about school outings

specifically in the area of stubbington study center um a while ago but i suppose it's always fun to join in at a later stage and pete goes on to say while in our last year of primary school we were finally deemed mature enough to be taken out on proper trips the most memorable of which was to edinburgh attraction the camera obscura have you been there Pete? No but I steal a lot of Logan Beach stories from the website Atlas Obscura. Oh okay right.

There's the link. Okay so you've left people behind the curtain there. Showing people how the frozen sausage was made. Camera Obscura is great

I've been there. It's fantastic in Edinburgh. Not sure if you've ever been I have but it's a rather odd little museum housed in the historic tower at the top

of the Royal Mile. You wind your way up, interacting with lots of different optical illusions and interesting light-slash-photography exhibits with the Pieds de Resistance being a great view out over the city centre from the rooftop ramparts. Once we had made it to the top,

one of my mates spotted a beautifully bold man walking below and decided it would be hilarious to try and land some spittle on his chrome dome. Now that is unacceptable behavior. Disgusting. Whatever your age. A few of us had a crack at it and amazingly one globule hit the target perfectly.

Cue much annoyance and shouting from the bloke below, which alerted our teachers to the incident. I would like these people to be punished to the full extent of the law. I don't know about you. As we wouldn't give up the culprit within our gang. Oh're hard oh kimura in the kimura or something all together yeah um our whole class was banned from further trips no biggie we thought until it was revealed that the next outing would be to our local dry ski slope for a record breakers taping where someone would attempt to ski as fast as possible now that is something you've missed out big time there.

Well, they should really... What, a 90s trip? They shouldn't really have prevented the children from seeing a record breaker, because, you know, where's your aspirations going to come from? Yeah. Apparently the record breaker crashed spectacularly,

and of course we missed out on meeting Chris Akabusi and hearing the Awuga in person. Well, Akabusi never did the Awuga. That was John Fashanu. Yeah, incorrect. John Fashanu hearing the awuga in person well akabusi never did the awuga that was that was john fashion yeah incorrect john for sharnu there's a lot of there's a lot of there is a lot of did he had something else in any um akabusi the busi man i think he did all right all right that was his thing that was just a speech impediment yeah but awuga was not akabusi no it was not akabusi um anywaymate says, he says his classmate still held a grudge

against the spitters to this day. Pete doesn't admit to being a spitter. I think he probably was given the way he tells the tale. Yeah,

name and shame, Pete. But Chris Akabusi came to my school once to do a talk about achievement. Did I tell you that? Did he?

Yeah, he went really goddy for a while, Akabusi. Alright, okay. And he spent half the time talking about his faith and that kind of stuff.

I'm not sure if he still is a man of faith, but he came to our school, which was very exciting because he was like an Olympic athlete. Yeah. And when you come from a school which feels like it's in the arse and the nowhere, it's quite exciting. Roger Black was from my town as well. I don't know why he didn't come here. Steve Cram, would he have been from the northeast?

He is indeed, yeah. Yeah, he is. He's from South South Shields I think He used to run across our field I think that might be Steve Cram you know Alright kids Just going for a run because I am very much A runner

Did anyone famous come into your school? Ridley Scott I always tell my tale of the first Black person I ever met was Tessa Sanderson. All right, yeah. And that was when I was 14 or something. That's how white Hartlepool is.

Did you not also... Jeremy Beadle. What? Jeremy Beadle popped in. And every time... Beadle came into your school? Beadle! Yeah, every time, because it was quite a good school.

Everybody that came in would have an oil painting painted of them by one of the art teachers, Mr. Carlos. Incredible artist, as is his son, actually. He does a lot of art for the Hartlepool United Supporters Trust and stuff. And, yeah, so Mr. Carlos would paint all the people. So we had, like, these really amazing oil paintings of, like, Jeremy Veedle, Tessa Sanderson. Who's that disgraced MP who was really fat?

Cecil. Cyril Smith. Cyril Smith. Yeah. Cyril Smith, who had to have two chairs to sit down on. God, he was big. Yeah. And so in our kind of main bit,

we'd have the requisite Pope picture, oil painting, and then next to him would be Jeremy Beedle and Tessa Sanderson and Cyril Smith so why was this happening? just because they'd come in for like the the achievement day where you'd sort of

hand out I got my English award there went well done for being good at English Pete did you really? thanks Tessa but so

these people aren't people from the area they've just been persuaded to come in yeah exactly right okay so Steve Fram possibly for money you could they might people might who go to school up there now might have had Cheryl Cole they've just been persuaded to come in. Yeah, exactly. Right, okay. So Steve Fram would have been done through.

People who go to school up there now might have had Cheryl Cole or something. Maybe there's an oil painting of Cheryl Craw. Cheryl Craw? Cheryl Cole. She'll just walk in and go, stay true to yourself, pet. Why, yeah, man.

Why, yeah, exactly. All right, good. We got another email, Peter? All right, then. David. Let's not do David. That's a. David. Let's not do David. That's a rude one. That's not like you.

No, I know. Jimmy, Williamsburg, Virginia, USA. I've been a big fan of the show since episode one and a universal electronics battery user. Showing off, Jimmy. Showing off. I wanted to bring you a chance to do an event that happened on my side of the pond

that I believe would catch your interest. I present to you the Kentucky Meat Shower, which is a DVD I think I once owned. No, this is not some sort of hillbilly hazing ritual or an act conducted within the walls of one's bedroom. Rather, it is an event occurring on March 3rd, 1876, where

flakes of red meat up to 10 centimetres square appeared to be falling from the sky within the town of Rankin, Kentucky. To quote the Wikipedia article on the event, the meat appeared to be beef, but according to the first report in Scientific American, two gentlemen who tasted it judged it to be mutton or venison. I love that.

The scientists, the first thing they're doing, well, I'm tasting it. Yeah, put it in your mouth. Hang on a minute. No, this could be anything. I'm tasting it. That's how all science works. It could be alien flesh. Is the batch of hydrochloric acid ready yet? Let me just pop it in your mouth. Hang on a minute. This could be anything. I'm tasting it. That's how all science works. It could be alien flesh. Is the batch of hydrochloric acid ready yet?

Let me just pop it in my mouth. So yeah, BF Ellington, a local hunter, identified it as bear meat. Further analysis by the New York Scientific Association seemed to identify the meat as lung tissue from either a horse or even from a human infant. Enjoy your meal, gentlemen. While the Kentucky locals preferred the explanation that substance was the result of multiple buzzards vomiting

as part of a defence mechanism, the more likely conclusion is that substance was not actually meat at all, but rather Nostoc, which is a cyanobacteria that swells into a gelled mass when it comes into contact with water. None of these options are particularly palatable. No. From fucking horse lung to human infants to fucking venison coming from the sky,

cyanobacteria is possibly even worse. I like that also, I did look into this, and I'll give you a bit more information in a minute, but I like the scientists going, yeah, that's horse lung, that. That's horse lung? Tastely going, yeah, that's horse lung. What have you been doing, Steve? How do you know? How do you spend your weekends? And more importantly, what the that's horse lung, that. That's horse lung? Tasting it going, yeah, that's horse lung. What have you been doing, Steve? How do you know?

How do you spend your weekends? And more importantly, what the fuck's happened to my horse? Cyanobacteria, or Nostoc, is essentially like an algae, apparently. Like an algae you get on ponds and stuff.

But based on a little bit of, it's a great email from Jimmy, it's exactly the sort of stuff we love. That is more likely, isn't it? Well, funnily enough, apparently it's very common for buzzards to vomit

quite prolifically as soon as they appear to be in danger because their defence mechanism essentially extends to get rid of all the excess weight you need so you can fly off as quick as you can. So I think if there's a group of them, I don't know if buzzards sort of move in packs

or what even the collective noun is for a buzzard, but if there's a load of them knocking about, to me, given that it was so long ago, it seems like it might be that. The buzz buzz. I once, interestingly enough, I was in the car with my father-in-law in New England. We reversed out of the driveway,

started to drive off, and I looked in the rear view mirror. I was like, what is that? And we stopped the car, looked around, and there was a massive buzzard tucking into a bit of roadkill. And you know, of course, it's one of those things that to Americans,

it doesn't really mean much, but you never see birds like that in the UK. No, God no. So you'll see like a hawk at the side of a motorway or something hovering, which looks great. But they are massive massive those birds of prey absolutely massive thanks for that Jimmy

you wouldn't have thought that bird's so big how does it get so much food and where does it live yeah well quite it's obvious where it lives and it's obvious where they get the food

but still do you remember when we talked about sounds like a hard life I think the bird funnily enough and it is entertaining the heaviest bird

that can fly in the UK, I think, is called the Great Busted, isn't it? Right. But do you remember a number of months ago, Pete, we did this thing about dragons and whether they could feasibly fly under the laws of physics and stuff, and it was impossible because they're so heavy.

Right. I'd love to know what, in theory, is the heaviest animal that could fly. What, like as in... Stick a pair of wings on it and watch it go. But, I mean, it's all about wingspan, isn't it? Like, it's all about how big the wings are. It's just power to weight, I think.

Yeah. Power to weight ratios. So just make bigger wings. Like, how big would a pig's wings be? You know what I mean? Like... How big would a pig's wings be if a pig's wings could pig? Exactly.

Speaking of having an email from a chap called Pete, we've also got an email from a chap called Luke. Okay. Not the a chap called Luke. Okay. Not the Luke, just Luke. This is an email about earliest remembered memory. It's quite, I mean, if we had a qualified psychologist or psychiatrist in the studio, they would have a field day with this.

But Luke from Frisco, Colorado, you've emailed it in. It's going to be read out. He starts off by saying no batteries to report which is poor uh he says my earliest remembered memory i'm standing in front of my mother tugging on her shirt asking to be breastfed she says no you're too old for that now and i walk away forlorn to be clear i have no memory of ever breastfeeding only of being told no by my dear old mum. Feel free to psychoanalyse the shit out of this. From Luke in Frisco, Colorado.

Wow. Do you want to get into that or not? What? Frisco, Colorado is known best for its barbecue challenge as well, apparently. Oh, where's that? I'm going to Colorado Springs next week. Are you really? This week.

I'm going to Denver and I'm driving through Colorado Springs. I say I'm going to Colorado Springs next week. Are you really? This week. I'm going to Denver, and I'm driving through Colorado Springs. I say I'm driving. Someone else is driving. Yeah, because you can't drive. They wouldn't mind if you just drove down those roads in America. They wouldn't care. The Frisco Colorado Barbecue Challenge doesn't happen until June, so you're going to miss out.

But 70 barbecuers compete for a variety of awards in the following categories, Pete, including pork, ribs, chicken, brisket, anything goes, barbecue sauce. Anything goes. It's horse long again. Side dish. Sakura niku. Side dish, salsa, and dessert. Anything goes.

Last year. Side dish. Who's winning with a fucking potato salad? Get out. Yeah, no, don't be bringing that to the party. Eat the burnt ends, or whatever you call them. Yeah. Nice.

Anything goes. What do you reckon won in anything goes category last year? Anything goes. Pig toenails. Correct. What? I don't know.

I haven't checked, but it could be anything. Anything goes, mate. Yeah. Thanks for that, Luke. Yeah, you deviant. Yeah. You know,

it's a good chat plan. Dan Ray and Wayne Wright. Hello, Dan Ray and Wright. Morning, chaps. Just thought started to share a random internet discovery courtesy of the new scientist a Japanese psychologist Shigeru Watanabe has led a study to see if animals can understand the human concept

of beauty, basically Shigeru-san or Watanabe-san trained four birds on a lawn from the Japanese Society for Racing Pigeons to appreciate children's art by linking correct assessments of paintings with food. Works deemed good had earned A's in art class, while bad paintings garnered C's or D's. Watanabe also put the paintings to a jury of 10 adults,

and the pigeons viewed only works unanimously declared good or bad by the panel. As you'll read from the admittedly short article, the study succeeded with pigeons, but only to a certain degree. Nonetheless, this is a pretty impressive achievement for an animal that is basically an idiot. Thank you for that, Dan. Pigeons know what's good and what's bad. I looked into this, and it's quite an interesting idea, isn't it?

It also struck me that if you're an art teacher and you're basically you're basically like giving out grades for pieces of art yeah in many ways that's like the most brutal job ever teacher oh what yeah because because art teachers are sort of thought was being like quite airy fairy and you know oh yeah yeah flouncing around whatever and yet they have to deliver like brutal assessments of your quite hard work creative mind yeah it's not like oh if you did that essay better you should have framed it like this the aforementioned mr carlos we used to have to do um self-portraits or kind of foot portraits of you'd sit in front of um your work partner and you'd draw each other basically uh or do sketches and then people who weren't very good at art

would just ask Mr. Carlos for some help. But Mr. Carlos, being an artist, he loves fucking drawing. So he would draw these wonderful pictures of the work partner. And then they all go on the wall. And mine would look pretty ropey because I'd done it myself. But everyone else's would look absolutely picture perfect. They'd look just like the people. He shouldn't be doing that.

No, he shouldn't be doing that. He sounds like a lovely fellow, but he should not be doing that. But what I mean is, you're essentially saying to people when you give them a D or an E for their art, that is a shit piece of art. I can't really give you any creative feedback other than just draw better. But on that new scientist article,

or wherever it was from, I read it and it said the following. The birds have been trained to peck at a button for good paintings and do nothing in response to bad works. With never seen works, pigeons picked good paintings twice as often as bad paintings. A statistically significant

difference. But is that really statistically significant? Well, I can only bow down to Mr. Watanabe's kind of own best practice. I mean, what is he doing? Is he getting funding for this? I don't know.

He's a Japanese psychologist. I mean, there are bigger problems in the Japanese. Highest suicide rate in the world. I'll be looking at pigeons. I'll be looking at pigeons, mate. Don't worry about it, yeah. I'll be looking at pigeons and art. It's a pressing matter.

There we go. Wow. Robbie. We'll wrap things up with Robbies, I think. That's all right with you. Inset day. Do you know what inset day is, Luke? Yes, I do, yeah.

Did you have inset days? Yes, we did, yeah. Oh, we didn't have that. We just had teacher training days. Yeah, it's the same thing. I know it's the same thing, but it's weird that, yeah. But very much the meaning of inset day very much hinges on this female.

Hey, lads, long-time listener of the show. I was just going to say, it for In-Service Training Day. That's where they get it from. Oh, doesn't it? Yeah. Long time listener of the show and I've realised regrettably that I finally have

a contribution to make. Rather than being stupid thing I've heard, it was actually something stupid I announced. It was the first day back from Christmas break in sixth form

and just as we were settling into our sixth form, Pete. He's definitely at least 17 17 yeah uh i stupidly announced this uh yeah it was back from christmas break in sixth form and just as we're settling into our first lesson it became obvious that there was a horrible acrid smell lingering in the classroom as we all discussed what might have left this awful smell i proudly

announced as the teacher came in uh that it must be the remains of the fumigating gas they used for insect day everyone including the teacher started doubling over laughing must be the remains of the fumigating gas they used for insect day. Everyone, including the teacher, started doubling over laughing at what I just said as I continued to explain that they might have forgotten to open the windows after they were finished debugging the rooms. It was at this point when the teacher explained to me that I had been hearing a mishearing insect day my entire life

and it would be hugely impractical and dangerous to industrially fumigate the school a day before term. Yeah, and I think the reason... I'm loving that. It's amazing. It's an amazing, amazing thing. But he could have styled this out and made out like it was a massive joke,

because it's actually quite a funny joke. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But in my mind, and I've never met Robbie, I don't think, but in my mind, it's just a child, an adolescent child with a blank look on his face, slowly going really red. Well, to make matters matters worse i was sitting next to my teenage crush who seemed to find it even funnier than the rest of the class who were all in disbelief that i thought schools were fumigated at least once a term i hope you at least enjoy reading this even if it doesn't

make it the show and i want to stress that he just likes the new bi-weekly schedule does robbie i mean that's making it in uh yeah obviously Obviously that's going to make it in. There's absolutely no way we're not going to include that. Yeah. I mean they should fumigate classrooms.

It opens up certainly after we have to fumigate this studio after you've been in with your bare feet. This also potentially opens up

a really rich scene for the Luke and Pete show which is the worst way you've embarrassed yourself at school. Okay. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. It's gotta be a lot of good stories out there. Um, and if you like that sort of thing, by the way, Berkhamster revisited at one of our other shows. Oh yeah. Is,

is great for that. A girl who reads out her teenage diaries from when she was 14 or 15 or whatever. Uh, and there's a lot of cringing in that, but I love that sort of stuff. That's, um,

Berkhamster Revisit which you can get on iTunes what a seamless plug for that but hello at lukeandpetecher.com if you want to get in touch with your the most embarrassed

you've been at school we've all been there and Pete and I will put our heads together and think of a way that we were embarrassed I remember when I called the teacher

Hitler I mean ma'am I mean ma'am mother yeah that's Japanese psychologist yeah I'll probably suppress them

I'll have to go you know what I have to do with this sort of stuff I have to go and call my mum you were the school bully I was not you always say that I was not the school bully

I don't always say that I was much worse than that I was more psychological yeah yeah get into the show at hellotlucanpeachshow.com we'll be back on Thursday

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