The Luke and Pete Show - Episode 58: The Mothpocalypse

Episode Date: April 26, 2018

Pete's been admiring Beyoncé from afar, Luke's been admiring Duncan Bannatyne from afar (again) and we settle the 'Can you land in a wingsuit without a parachute?' debate once and for all, courtesy of a stuntman.Elsewhere, giant moths v a tennis racket in a battle of wits for the ages, possibly the world's most terrifying sniper and lots, lots more. Don't miss it. And to contribute, email us: [e-mail]***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's Luke and Pete Shaw episode... Thursday, Thursday, gotta get down on Thursday. We are recording this a week in advance and my word, Luke Moore. week in advance and my word Luke Moore I think Beyonce has you know crawled into the upper echelon of performance. Crawled? Crawled

with ten costume changes. Brought out Destiny's Childs bruv. Mate she was incredible. I only saw bits of it but fuck me she squeezes a lot in And I misread it and misheard it. A Coachella an unlovable festival. I misheard it because I thought she broughtes a lot in. And I misread it. Coachella, an unlovable festival. I misheard it because I thought she brought out Adrian Childs.

What? Destiny's Childs she brought out. Sounds like Adrian Childs. I thought she brought out Adrian Childs. Talking about West Brom. He was going to do West Brom and then a bit about how much money he took to move to Daybreak to ITV. Never moved to ITV. Beyonce, if you listen.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, never do it. Beyonce's above ITV. Mass. Never moved to ITV. Beyonce, if you listen, no, but I'm saying never do it. Yeah, never do it. No. Beyonce's above ITV. Massively. She's incredible. Yeah, she is. I know everyone's going,

she's incredible. She is just incredible. Doesn't Coachella look like the worst place on the planet? Oh, can you imagine? Apart from Fyre Fest, which is amazing. Apart from...

Remember Fyre Fest? Ja Rule's Fyre Fest? Yes, I do remember. That's nice. You were there. Everybody... You were there. I was one of the city planners.

Early adopter Donaldson was there. In one of those fucking UNESCO tents. Yeah, Coachella always reminds me of, am I saying that right? Coachella. Coachella? Coachella-ly. Always reminds me of that video that went around,

I've been advised who did it, where they got a lot of young kids who were at Coachella on their way in, asking them what bands they were looking forward to seeing. Making up bands. They were making bands up. Yeah, it's bad. It's lost hanging fruit,

that sort of nonsense, isn't it, really? It is a bit of a... If you get asked stuff, if you go to a fucking London Fashion Week and go, what do you think of, you know,

Botticelli Taccini? And they go, what? Why is it always London Fashion Week? Like, always? Yeah, because the stupidest people head there.

What's been floating your boat this week, Pete? Because I've got a Duncan Bannatyne update. Mainly Beyonce. So maybe just move on to that, I suppose. She's brilliant. She fitted in a nail changer, did you notice? No, I did not.

That is attention to detail. She changed costume about 10 times and she also fitted in a nail changer at one point, which I think is amazing. That is a Michelin star attention to detail, that is. She should be in the Michelin Guide for that. Which is sample sort of stuff. Worthy of making a special trip.

It was incredible. Speaking of someone else who's incredible, Duncan Bannatyne. No. Not in the same conversation. I've got a Bannatyne update. Well, you say that, Pete, but the Bannatyne content among our listeners is,

listen, it's ranking very highly. Nobody has emailed about Duncan Bannatyne. Not a single person. And bearing in mind, we are a global concern nowadays. No, because I Google alert them to my inbox. Bannatyne. Yeah, Bannatyne. Any time someone mentions the word Bannatyne.

Stop Bannatyne. Stop Bannatyne. Do you want a Bannatyne update? I think I've made it very clear that I don't, but we're going to get one, aren't we? He's recently been criticised for refusing to give a man with a muscle wasting disease a swim only membership

at one of his gyms saying simply when asked we will not do that we will not do that I mean well hang on he's got muscle wasting disease

so he wants to be able to just swim he said I've got a muscle wasting disease I don't need a membership to the whole gym I'm not going to use it I'm literally throwing

my money away Duncan give me a swim only no well yeah no of wasting disease. I don't need a membership to the whole gym. I'm not going to use it. I'm literally throwing my money away, Duncan. Oh, right. Give me a swim only. No. Well, yeah, no. I mean, I kind of agree with him. You're siding with Duncan.

You're coming around. You've either got rules or you haven't. What if I only used three machines in my gym? But can I just have the... Well, you do only use three machines in your gym.

Can I just use the chesties, please? I don't need the running machine. Maybe there should be a price on this machine. Yeah, chesties. Just a little vending machine. You put your coin in, you get to use it for a bit. Do you skip leg day, Pete? My legs are the only muscular part of my body anyway.

Right. So you don't need to use them. Everything else needs to catch up. Just keep them what God's given you. Yeah. There we go. So, Bantam Update. Always,

listen, if anyone's got a Duncan Bantam story out there, get in touch. Oh, and also, I've got to ring Travis later on. Have you really? I've got to ring the band Travis and talk to them.

What for? I don't actually know. Have they got, I think they're touring The Man Who. Are they in its entirety? Yeah. A lot of bands are doing that. Breakthrough Records,

that's a money spinner, isn't it? Nostalgia is, yeah. It is what it used to be. Paul Draper's doing Attack of the Great Lightning in full. I noticed quite recently. Manson? Yeah.

Okay. Maybe it's his opinion. I'm in a wide open space. Is that right? I love Manson. That was my first gig I went to. Supported by the band Gay Dad. I'm a gay dad to earth with love.

A friend of mine is friends with a guy from Gay Dad. And I know that because he calls him Gay Dad Ed. So there must have been someone in Gay Dad called Ed. Ed. I'll check. Was he the one who was like the, because they were roundly criticized for being a band because one, I think the lead was um a journalist for the rolling stone

he was certainly a journalist for somebody quite big and people were kind of like well you know you've i think i think that's right yeah i just checked and there was no one called ed in gay dad so i don't know where that's come from maybe just a gay dad funny nickname yeah it might have been yeah um my first ever uh gig uh i went to see, I don't count this because it makes it like an absolute bell end and I was only about eight. Right. But I went to go see B.B. King with my dad. Oh, fuck off.

Yeah, but my real first gig was Reef at the River Mead Centre in Reddington. Better. Much better. I actually loved it. Yeah. I just could not believe what was going on. I could not. I can't believe this.

Here's a measure of how much I enjoyed it, Pete. Straight away, came home, next day, bought a couple of tickets to see Bush at Slaughton Guild Hall. Didn't he go out with... Gwen Stefani. No, didn't he go out with... Steve Strange? No. Was he even gay, Steve Strange? I can't remember.

No, Marilyn. Remember? Gavin Ross, Gavin Ross was rumoured to go out with Marilyn for a little while. I did not know that. Also,

you've been, Pete, in the Wild West that is this podcast discussion, you've been rounded up by the County Sheriff, aka me, thanks to Rob Loveridge,

who emails into our shows fairly regularly, who linked me and you, although I doubt you took the time to watch it. A video of Gary Connery landing in a wingsuit without a parachute. Right. That's that Donaldson. No. What?

You're, you're using this to prove your point. It can be done. He landed in cardboard. You just said you just go up a bit and then land. Listen, listen. The only way he was going to survive that, he basically fell out of a plane and landed in a load of cardboard.

And he just used the wingsuit to manoeuvre himself into position. He was going 80 miles an hour. How do you stop yourself from 80 miles an hour? Just pull up. What are you worried about? I'll read the sentence again, Peter. Gary Connery, celebrated stuntman, has landed in a wingsuit without a parachute, and so

that's that. One person did that, and he landed in cardboard. It's been done. No one said, it's like the equivalent of you saying to me, oh, you can't walk on the moon. And I say, well, someone has walked on the moon, and you've only nine people have done it. But it's still been done. No, but you literally,

no, your point wasn't that he just landed it. Your point was that you definitely saw someone fly. Like how quick those wingsuits got. As mentioned, 80 miles per hour and suddenly you can just slow yourself down. He slowed himself down with cardboard. That was not part of your point. I'll admit it was a particularly rocky landing.

But it's been done. Cardboard rocks. It's been done. You must have rocks in your head. I'm writing it in my notes now. Now. So I can put it

in the synopsis for the episode. You're definitely not having that. More proves right. That'll be the headline. More's law. There we go. Anyway, that's what's been

floating our boat this week. Should we have some emails? Yeah. Do you want to go to a break or what? I think that's probably prudent. Okay, Luke. Don't gunge me, mate.

Pipe down, Pete. I told you never to argue with the customers. Do an email, you prick. Do you want me to do it? Yeah. All right, okay. I've got one here.

What have we got? Oh, yeah. Listen, this is a bit indulgent of me reading this one because it's one I particularly love. Okay. You may not be interested in it, but I'll explain a bit after.

Actually, no, it's quite self-explanatory. It's from Chris and he says, hi Luke and Pete, leak cell, take the notable honour of powering my Blu-ray player remote.

Never heard of them, but they're doing a swell job so far. I've never heard of leak cell. Have you? No. I mean, that's the last thing you want a battery to do.

He says, Chris goes on to say, but onto business. Onto business. A few episodes ago, you want a battery to do. He says, Chris goes on to say, but onto business. Onto business! A few episodes ago, you made reference to Florida Man, of course, referring to the seemingly endless supply of crazy and outlandish news headlines that come out of Florida. I love this email because it's to the point, and also it's very interesting.

Yeah. The reasons why, something we've talked about before, Florida Man et al. When I read this when preparing for the show this blew my mind so we talked a lot about how in the US

people always say oh you know well it's Florida for you because all the mad stories just come out of Florida Florida Man this Florida Woman a Florida Man

yeah anyway Chris also includes some examples here he says a Florida Man claims wife was kidnapped by holograms he's murdered his wife

yeah Florida Man steals 850 pairs of underwear from Victoria's Secret. He's a pervert. Yeah, a Florida man caught masturbating in McDonald's car park and claims his privacy was invaded. He's an even bigger pervert. Et cetera. Is that worse?

Which one's worse? Stealing, I mean, 850 pairs of underwear. That is a lot, isn't it? There was a teacher. Probably the same man, actually. In the Abroad in Japan podcast I do with Chris Broad, YouTuber, we did a story where

a man, a school teacher, a school teacher, was thieving pants. He was found with something like 850 pairs of pants at school and his argument was that he was going to sell them to the students. That's alright, isn't it? Yeah, it's fine, isn't it?

That is desperate stuff. Were they packaged? Nah. No. Were they even washed? Were they even washed? What a dirty man. To give you an insight into how the exact type of school I went to,

there was constant fighting in our school because one of the... The pants man had limited supplies no i suppose you would call it a pastime in a way and i'm sorry to chris who's emailed him and we will get back to you in a second um one of the pastimes was going around people's houses and gardens of people you didn't know and stealing the clothes off their washing line was that is that a pastime so it was called it was called washing line basically and what but then what the reason there were fights is because if someone turned up with a new item of clothing in PE or something,

they would be accused of having washing lined it. That I had a pair of them and they've gone missing. And they'd have a fight about it. What kind of... What paucity of clothing choices? Why were you going around stealing each other's clothes? I wasn't doing that. I was from a very nice family,

thank you very much. I would never have been seen dead doing that. My mum would have kicked my ass, but it happened. Anyway. You are a larger child. I wasn't.

That's the thing. I wasn't large or fat until I hit about 19, and you know that as well. Anyway, going back to Chris's email. He says, the reason,

well, I'll just pick up how he phrases it. Such headlines are in plentiful supply, which has led many to believe that people from florida must be absolutely crazy as we've already discussed however that's a bit of an unfair assessment because the freedom of information laws in florida make it easier for journalists to obtain information about arrests from the police than in any other state and this is in fact the real reason we get such a large number of bizarre and entertaining news articles from our dear friend

Florida Man. That's fantastic, isn't it? Love the show. Love you both. Keep it up. All the best, Chris. Chris, that is an absolutely textbook email. Stone cold fox of an email, that, isn't it? It's entertaining. You've taught a site we didn't know, which admittedly isn't that hard, but it ticks all the boxes for me. So thanks for that, Chris.

He does end the email by saying at any rate we can never be that mad at Florida they have Disney World Disney World yeah I quite like Disney World I went through a phase

of not liking it and thinking it was a bit pathetic and now I quite like it again it's become very hipster-y it has hasn't it very popular my favourite pop artist

as you know I don't know who's your favourite pop artist Carly Rae Jepsen oh pop artist so they've been like a kind of like a Roy favourite pop artist? Carly Rae Jepsen. Oh, pop artist. I thought you meant like a kind of like a... Roy Lichtenstein. Yeah.

Carly Rae Jepsen. She was in Disney World according to Instagram the other day. You should not be following her on Instagram. It's weird. Why? It just is weird. Why is it weird? You're a grown man following Carly Rae Jepsen.

And how old do you think Carly Rae Jepsen is? 26. Do you really? Yeah. No, she's 32, mate. Is she really? Yep. Holy moly,

she's older than I thought. Not as weird now, is it? No, it's still weird. Very much so. Remember when Anastasia came onto the scene and she was like 35 or something

and they kept pretending that she was 22 and she had to remember her fake birthday but after a while she just kept forgetting it. Is it quite sort of popular or well, I don't know if it still is these days,

but because I seem to remember something similar with Jerry Halliwell. Don't they have like showbiz ages and stuff, which is quite a sad indictment of society, really. Oh, yeah, they will do, yeah. Yeah, there we go. Who's the one who does... Let's not talk about that.

Steve. Yo, Steve. Let's. Should we not do that one? Oh, I like that one because it involves a poo, but let's not do that one. Yeah. All right.

I just think your bullshit on it is just a bit skew-whiff. It needs work, I admit. Why don't you do the one from Jamie about the mothpocalypse? Hello, boys. Apologies to stories based on something I heard in episode 49

concerning Pete's hatred of moths and slash everything in Australia trying to kill you. That's why we number these episodes, uh hello boys apologies stories based on something i heard in episode 49 concerning pete's hatred of moths and slash everything in australia trying to kill you that's why we number these episodes by the way so people can say oh yeah episode 49 i wholeheartedly share this phobia nothing in the world terrifies me more than moths which made my decision to move to australia and into the outback all the more questionable i was living in a tent uh on the border of new south wales and victoria in the middle of nowhere with my girlfriend at the time, and I heard a storm brewing. If you're going to live in a tent, you have to be prepared

to come face to face with nature, red in tooth and claw, occasionally. On hearing the storm, I moved out from the tent to see what was happening. What I saw can only be described as my worst nightmare realised. Around 50 moths, the size of birds, they can get rather big, had gathered around a lamppost above our tent, presumably moving out of the storm. They were so big, I locked myself in the kitchen area as they descended upon us.

I sent my poor girlfriend out with a tennis racket and she killed around 10 while I curled up into a ball, admitting defeat. They were so big, it often took four hits with a tennis racket to fully floor the moths. I uncurled myself and bravely looked outside to see my girlfriend with a moth attacking her collar. Terrified by fear, I kept the door locked

and watched the battle between girl and moth. What a gentleman. I know, right? We broke up a few months later, not related to the moth incident, I don't believe. Oh, it was. Oh, God, Shanghai. He's in Shanghai now, so all the best from Shanghai.

They're horrible. You shouldn't be killing them with tennis rackets. Tell you Oh, God. Shanghai. He's in Shanghai now. So all the best from Shanghai. They're horrible. You shouldn't be killing them with tennis rackets. Tell you what, though. When I'm trying to kill a clothes moth in my house, a tennis racket is probably a good idea.

A tiny tennis racket would be a pretty good idea. But they're perfectly harmless. Catch them in your hand and put them out the window. You don't need to kill them. There's too many of them. Too many of them

and they are unspeakable shit. Well, they need to die. The Atlas moth is the largest moth in the world, but they're found exclusively in South America.

So this must be the Hercules moth, which is the largest moth by surface area of wingspan and stuff in the world. I don't think you should be killing

them. They're just going about their business, aren't they? Yeah, as long as they're not eating your clothes. I'll kill them if

they eat my clothes. I don't need them. Let me make a compromise with you then, Pete. I won't hit a big moth. The little clothes moths I'll kill, and a carpet moth I'll kill. If you're going into an animal's environment, you shouldn't be killing it.

Exactly. Is that fair? Yeah. Moths have no business in Nuttall Copland Street. I'm just trying to make peace with my... Unless they're gay moths. Admittedly, if there is a moth in your jacket pocket, that is probably your territory. Yeah, exactly. But forgive the moth yeah admittedly if there is a moth in your jacket pocket that is probably your

territory yeah exactly but forgive the moth he knows not what he has done I would very much like a to open a wallet like a cartoon and a moth come out that'd be great that'd

be cool wouldn't it you'd be like oh that's like a cartoon I told you about I was you as you famously said my sister's cat was the Trojan horse of a of B transport

oh yeah yeah that was brilliant he's got a B in his bonnet I've got a question directed to you As you famously said, my sister's cat was the Trojan horse of bee transport. Oh, yeah. With the bee in its mouth. Yeah, that was brilliant. He's got a bee in his bonnet. I've got a question directed explicitly at you, Pete. Oh, and I hope it is explicit. No, it's not really. No.

Not in the way you'd hope. This is from Aaron, who says his batteries are active energy. Not a hugely popular brand, that one. No. He says, hi, guys, please help. I woke up in the middle of the night last night wondering if frozen sausages

are actually safe to eat tuck in Aaron I did some googling but to no avail does the frozen nature of the sausage make any harmful bacteria inert

or is that wishful thinking can any of your listeners help answer this question that is tormenting me thanks that's from Aaron Donny you're the frozen

sausage expert here so i guess i have to defer to you i couldn't find a single article online about eating sausages straight from the freezer every time i typed it in a different variety of ways on google it just gave me loads of articles about how to cook frozen sausages if you can understand what i'm right yeah so i mean i don't think there's any science behind the idea that oh it's it's frozen so the harmful bacteria is inert i don't think that means anything yeah i mean you think that um if the frozen stuff is in your stomach it's instantly going to be um uh acted upon by the by the bacteria in your stomach and the and the acid as well so and and if you're eating frozen sausages there'll be a lot of acid down there.

And I don't think there'd be a massive problem with eating frozen sausages because freezing does get rid or certainly puts in stasis the microbes, the dangerous microbes. But yeah, I mean, cook your sausages. Yeah, do cook them. Pete did that in the 80s. There's certain things you could do in the 80s,

as Calvin Harris said, that you can't do now. And that's one of them. It made me think, this email though, made me think about something we probably take for granted and that is actually quite wonderful in terms of natural phenomena, which is the stomach itself.

I mean, there's so many questions. So many questions. Where does the food go? Why doesn't stomach acid burn through your stomach? Question number one. Well, it's not strong enough acid, is it? How is it able to digest of digest so much stuff? Because of the acid.

It's amazing. It is amazing, Peter. I'm answering all the questions. Okay, why doesn't it digest itself then? What do you mean? The stomach. Well, because the lining will be covered in an anti-acid coating. You don't know.

I think the way I answered that full of confidence and that's half the battle it's not it's clearly not strong enough surely is it to dissolve it if you were a bone if you were an actual bone

from a chicken your stomach acid is dissolving that at some point well no it isn't you're not you're not shitting out a bone yes you are

a whole bone yes have you done it no you might have done it? No. You might have done it. Shall we do a Menkata? Yeah, that'd be great. Men, men, men, men, men, men, men, men, men, men, men, men.

Where's the bloody men? Let there be justice for all. Let there be peace for all. And one small step for man. You don't understand. Willie was a salesman. Say simply, very simply, with hope. Good morning.

From Maya Angelou there. Yeah. Definitely still alive. Rest in peace, Maya Angelou. We hardly knew ye. Nice. I'm just trying to cover your jingle botch job. Jingle botch job?

I love that. That is your rap name, isn't it? No, it's Maya Angelou. Paul in Montreal. Hello, Paul in Montreal. Hello, Luke and Pete. Hello, Paul in Montreal. Oh, I thought you were going to do Mark from Molden.

No, I'm doing Paul from Molden. All right. Just listening to your Monday episode when you didn't have a man Carter, so I would like to offer you my suggestion. Seymour Hayar, also known as the White Death. Oh, yeah, this guy's amazing.

The guy... This is an incredible story. The world's most extreme badass. I mean, it's sad, because, you know, he's just killing a lot of people. But I'm not a fan, or a particular fan of military history.

Occasional delicious blunders aside. But this guy blew my mind when I read about him. He was, in short, a sniper from Finland who brought his wrath upon the invading Russian army during the Second World War and must have scared the living shit out of them. Let's begin with the numbers. It's reckoned that this guy killed 556 Russian soldiers

all by himself. 556. Even at a conservative estimate, 500 is a lot by himself. 556. Even at a conservative estimate, 500 is a lot by yourself. However, what makes this figure even more incredible is that he was only active for around 100 days in the winter in Finland. Bloody hell.

That's five a day. Incredible, isn't it? He's getting his five a day. He's getting five hits a day during a Finnish winter when there was very little daylight and the weather could drop to minus 30. Here are a few things about him which blew my mind. He refused a scope on his rifle because it would mean raising his head by an inch, which could give him away, so he did it all with iron sights.

Just, you may as well use a blunderbuss, crying out loud. Despite the cold, he would fill his mouth with snow to make sure his mouth would not steam up and give him away. Nice commitment to the cause, that is. He would often lay in the snow so the gun would be lodged and muffled when fired, reducing the noise. He was badly injured in early 1940, but lived until 2002 and the ripe old age of 96.

Yeah, he got shot in the face, didn't he? He got shot in the face and the pictures of him, he's got quite bad scarring to the left side of his face. Incredible work. It's a different world, isn't it? When we hear stories about the two great wars in the 20th century, it feels like a different world to me. Hugely.

Completely different. Amazing story. Well, thank you for that, Paul, in Montreal. That's Simo Hayer. I don't know how it's pronounced. Simo Hayer. The Finnish language is a tough old one. She's a tough old bird. 100%.

It's a great story. I thought you were going to do Mark from Molden. Can I do him really quickly? All right, well, go on. Do you mind? Yeah. Do you mind me just dishing out two men carters in one? Yeah, you could do, yeah.

So Mark is the guy who emailed in the men carter a couple months ago about the dead jockey that still won the race. Do you remember that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's great. He says, I know you like to keep football and this podcast separate, but I have a Mencarta entry which will pique your listeners' interest.

And it's fine, because it's not really about football. He said, knowing you've just come back from Italy, I'd like to put forward a sport known in Italy as Calcio Fiorentino or Calcio Storico. Storico originated in 16th century Italy in the city of Florence

and combines the two sports of football and MMA. The rules are pretty simple. Try and score in a 20-meter wide net by any means possible. And by any means, I mean beat the shit out of the opposing team. The four courses of Florence make up four teams. Santa Croce, Santa Maria Novella,

Santa Spirito and Santa Giovanni. They play each other in separate games with the two winning sides playing a final. Even former popes have been known to play in the Vatican City. Teams are 27 men strong, containing four goalkeepers, three fullbacks, five halfbacks

and 15 forwards. A cannon. It's just so manly, this game. A cannon is shot to announce the start of the event and the 15 forwards of each team begin close combat and allowed to punch kick tackle trip hack and wrestle their opponents to try and tie them it normally descends into an all-out brawl and i've seen videos of it and it absolutely does it's something that if i send their cameras to every year yeah players suffered uh severe injuries and in some cases it's resulted in death and if that wasn't bad enough a bull yes a fucking bull was sometimes released onto the

pizza try pitch to incite victory uh the games last 50 minutes but these days uh the rules are a bit strict to try and avoid death there's a rule where it's prohibited for more than one player to attack an opponent and kicks to the head are also banned other than that it's pretty much the same game as one player uh played you in the 16th century um i remember there being an advert for some sort of italian pre-packed salad which featured this sport and that's how i found out about it yeah but it looks absolutely brutal and you know what you're talking of the vice cameras um turning up at these places have you seen that vice video i think it's Vice. Where they send cameras to Italy for that traditional horse race. Where they race around the streets of an Italian town with no saddle on their horses. Right.

And they go at like breakneck speed around like 90 degree turns and stuff. That's very similar, in a very similar sort of way to this game, Calcio. A real Fiat scratcher. Storico. Do you fancy a bit of that? Similar to your Saturday kick arounds isn't it

yeah pretty much it's a bit like British Boulder but with a ball and fighting it just looks exhausting though quite apart from

anything else just punching and kicking and the men who play it are sexy as fuck they're tough they all look absolutely tough

sexy olive skin beauts and do you know what you win if you win the tournament have a guess sexy as fuck. They're tough. They all look absolutely tough. Sexy, olive skin, beauts. And do you know what you win if you win the tournament? Have a guess. Loads of money.

Nope. A nice hat. I don't know. Try and think of the most underwhelming prize. Some packaged ham. Some pre-packed salad. Similar.

Alright. A calf. Oh, you win a calf? Yeah. Well, you know. Oi, 16 man teeth, one calf. We don't even get a calf each. win a calf yep well you know 16 mantis one calf we don't even get a calf each

well you know outrageous that cheese rolling that's quite brutal oh yeah in a really British way that problem you win the cheese

presumably you'd rather do the calcio esterico because of the ankle thing mate if you rolled an ankle bleh did we talk about that golfer with the ankle that I sent you

I don't know you sent me a video of a golfer who popped his ankle out and then he popped it back in straight away it was disgusting it was the most angry

I've seen you when I made you watch it there we go I've got to get over that haven't I it's not right have you had problems yourself in the past

with ankles all the time I probably said about this before but I used to roll my ankle weekly outside the Ghanaian high commission in Highgate.

Oh, yeah, you did say, yeah. Yeah, I'd cobbled. Those cobbled streets in Naples can't have been your friend then. No, definitely not. No. Disgusting. There we go.

Yeah, so that was fun. So more of that next week, I think. If you want to get a description, as always, hello at lukenpichot.com. It's as simple and as unallied as that. This week, sorry, this show, we've covered Beyonce Duncan Valentine landing in a windsuit

the mothpocalypse the white death some mad Italian sport so any more of that sort of stuff next week is more than welcomed hello at

lukeandpeachshow.com and we'll see you then we are your vessel fill us Outro Music