The Luke and Pete Show - Episode 59: A hippo's dinner

Episode Date: April 30, 2018

Ever wondered what it's like to be swallowed by a hippo? Well, wonder no more as your boys have found a story of a man who experienced it. We'll be honest, it doesn't sound that nice.Also, everyone's favourite drill sergeant, R Lee Ermey, has sadly passed away, although that death wasn't hippo-related you'll be pleased to hear. And if that wasn't enough, there's more plane chat, including how you can still visit the cockpit, and we receive a missive about possibly the stupidest driver of all time.There's also a mystery to be solved, so listen out for that and send all your theories into [e-mail]***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I didn't bring you banana in Luke and now I'm hungry. Sucks to be me. Schoolboy, I bought you that banana as well. Why will you not treat it with respect? I know, I'm hungry. That banana hater is the Pete and I'm the Luke. I'm a banana liker. I think I made that very clear.

Yeah. Yeah. The theme tune's run out. It's good talking about bananas. I thought I'd be able to get through it because I ate last night at 12 o'clock a Deliveroo'd 40 quid's worth of Chinese. You're always doing this.

I've told you, you've got to stop doing it. 12 a.m. I mean, 12 a.m., that's ridiculous. Do they still deliver all night? Turns out. Why are you, on your own, ordering £40 worth of Chinese at that time? Because I can never decide, and it all looks so delicious. I went for every meal.

It was like, oh, lovely. So have you got loads in the fridge left over to reheat for leftovers? Yeah. Can't reheat the rice, so that's the problem, isn't it? I always do, though. They say you can't, but I always do. Troubling. Speaking of that, I got absolutely rinsed in a shop the other day.

I went to a nice little sort of produce, like a deli type place in Herne Hill, near where I live, and it's all local produce. It's nice, really nice. I don't go there very often because it's expensive. And I picked up a couple of blocks of cheese, and one said about £8 on it and the other said about £5 which I understand is a lot for cheese.

I was like, could I pile up this cheese into blocks and land my wingsuit into it? Yeah, that's what I was thinking. That's what I was using it for. Anyway, I got to the front of the queue in a massively busy deli and the woman rang it up

and was like, £27 please. How much cheese did you buy? Not much. Not much. The king's cheese. What's going on and I said

I'm sorry and she was like 27 pound 50 I was like what and it turned out it was the price per 100 grams

it was the most expensive cheese in London probably but I couldn't obviously I had to save face I had to buy it big cheese

king cheese that's the English problem in a nutshell there isn't it what would you have done in that situation you'd have just bought it mate I would have went I I'll have two then!

Yeah, because you don't want to be embarrassed in front of all the other people. I meant to do this! Yeah, coming up this show on, I keep saying this week because we used to do one a week, but coming up this time around on Luke and Pete Show, we've got a load of your emails, which you can get in touch with us by emailing hello at lukeandpeteshow.com.

I've got a lovely article I found this week help yourself the EU cheese mountain I found well first of all a couple of bits of admin for me I was upset to hear of R. Lee

Ermey the famous drill sergeant in full metal jacket passing away last week oh he wasn't a real, right ok no he was as well he was a real one as well hang. No, he was as well. Oh. He was a real one as well. Hang on. So what?

He was one in real life and then he was a film... He was. He originally came into Full Metal Jacket, I believe, as a consultant. Right.

And he was showing the actors how to do it. And Kubrick went, hang on a minute. Yeah, let's just get you in. This is brilliant. You're doing it. And that's how he got the job.

Did he do any acting after that? I believe so, yeah. Do you know why he did? Because he does the voiceover for the little soldiers in Toy Story. Oh, that's cool. Yeah. I like those little guys. In the obituary I read about him, I mean, he was very right wing.

He's so right wing that he's officially listed himself as an independent because the Republican Party in the US weren't right wing that he's officially listed himself as an independent because the Republican party in the US weren't right wing enough even the 2018 version where all bets are off there we go all manner of kooks

can be a member but according to his obituary and for those of you who are listening who don't know what we're talking about this is a guy famous drill sergeant

in the Stanley Kubrick film Full Metal Jacket one of the defining Vietnam War films apparently he was so good in the shooting of the movie that Kub films. Apparently, he was so good in the shooting of the movie

that Kubrick, a famous attention to detail sort of control freak, he was happy with him after like two takes, which is very completely unheard of. Really? Yeah, but who's he to sort of say that was shit? Exactly, Pete. And the thing is, it makes perfect sense, doesn't it? Because he's just doing what he normally does.

It's not really acting, is it? He's just pretending they're all recruits and just cracking on anyway so that was something that caught my eye the other thing that caught my eye

was someone shared a link to a Guardian article from 2013 I don't know if they still do it it's this the Guardian definitely

still have a website they do yeah but they don't necessarily do this column which is just called experience and check out the headline to this experience I was swallowed by a hippo The Guardian definitely still have a website. They do, yeah, but they don't necessarily do this column, which is just called Experience. And check out the headline to this.

Experience. I was swallowed by a hippo. Wow. There's a man. That's so dangerous. There was a man who was a tour guide at 27 years old on the Zambezi River near Victoria Falls, and a two-ton bull hippo attacked him. Right.

Basically tried to eat him and swallowed half his body. Wow. How did he get out of that one? He survived to tell the tale. He just pulled himself out? I think so, yeah. When mouths are so big, it must be quite hard. It must be quite easy to, you know, get in.

You could probably fit, I could probably fit in one of their mouths, couldn't I? If I rolled up. Yes, you could. Listen to this paragraph. This is directly from the article. I was aware that my legs were surrounded by water, but my top half was almost dry.

I seemed to be trapped in something slimy. There was a terrible sulfurous smell like rotten eggs and a tremendous pressure against my chest. My arms were trapped, but I managed to free one hand and felt around and my palm passed through the wiry bristles of the hippo's snout. It was only then that I realized I was underwater, trapped up to my waist in his mouth. That is one of the more extreme situations a man or woman could find themselves in.

And he sadly lost an arm. He lost one of his arms. They thought he was going to lose two arms and a leg, but he only lost one arm. How did he crawl out? There was a medical team nearby. He doesn't know. This is a great quote. I have no idea how long we stayed under the water.

Time passes very slowly when you're in a hippo's mouth. But anyway, by chance, there was a medical team nearby that managed to save his life. But this is the killer. I like to think he had a little feather in his pocket and he tickled it. The hippo's knees! That's how you do it.

Like some sort of Hanna-Barbera cartoon. But sadly, one of his colleagues was killed by his injuries. But this is the kicker to the whole story. It's probably because

the hippo was fucking full after that one. Listen to this at the end of the story. I'm convinced I met him one more time. Talking about the hippo. Two years later,

I led an expedition down the Zambezi. Still doing it. Still doing it. And as we drift apart... How did you lose that arm? I don't want to be on this trip. Yeah, yeah.

I don't want you to be my tour guide. You've lost an arm to a hippo. Yeah, yeah. Well, listen, he says, two years later, I led an expedition down the Zambezi and as we drifted past the stretch where the attack had taken place,

a huge hippo lurched out of the water next to my canoe. I screamed so loudly that those with me said they'd never heard anything like it. Has he done this before? He dived back under it and was never seen again. Hang on.

He was... I bet my life savings it was the same hippo determined to have the final word. He was in charge of a canoe. That's with one arm. Get yourself a speedboat, mate. Jesus. It's bad, isn't it? That is dreadful.

Would you go back there if it happened to you? I'd probably... No No I probably wouldn't To be honest No I wouldn't I've seen that Been inside a hippo's mouth That's what's been Floating my boat this week

If you excuse the pun One more thing Really quickly Pete I saw that I sort of thought This might be up your Up your street Samsung have released

A Galaxy phone The J2 Pro Which is unable To connect to the internet No 3G No Wi-Fi, no nothing. It's intended for students and people who want to just make calls only.

I think they need a product also released by Samsung called fucking self-control. Yes. People who sort of bleat on about I'm going to get this phone that's got nothing on it because, you know, the internet is just spoiling, it's ruining it. Shut up! Just don't do it. When we co-authored a book, Pete, when we co-authored a because, you know, the internet is just spoiling, it's ruining it. Shut up. Just don't do it.

When we co-authored a book, Pete, when we co-authored a book, you bought a piece of hardware which was enabled you to type and write out what you wanted to write without the distraction of the internet. So you've literally done that. No, but the problem is, with that product, the thing that I was writing was very much needed to be factually accurate.

So it was a bit of a fool's errand, really. I've still got that. FreeWrite, it's called. It's a little mechanical keyboard with an e-ink display, so it lasts for months, the battery. Yeah, I mean, it's pretty good, but I mean... Have you ever used it since? No.

Very hipster-y. How much did it cost? A couple of hundred quid. You should have just bought a typewriter. Yeah. There we go. Should have. very hipster-y how much did it cost? a couple of hundred you should have just bought a typewriter yeah there we go should have I was talking to

the writer well Emily Dean she works for she works on Frank Skinner's show she's done some work with the Ramble

I know her nice lady she is writing a book like you know 80,000 words and stuff about her life it's actually like what she thinks about when she walks a dog and stuff I her life. It's actually what she thinks about

when she walks a dog and stuff. I think that's the case anyway. Anyway, but she lost her sister a few years ago. And so she was writing these passages about her sister and basically she lost all of the work. It was a really weird bug. And yeah, they couldn't recover it. So she had to give herself a week

and then start again and rewrite it. Could she remember it all? Well, yeah, but it's a very raw emotion, isn't it? Writing about the loss of your loved one. It's terrible, yeah. You know the guy who wrote the book Shantaram? Shantaram? In prison.

He wrote it famously in prison. I think he had to write that twice because it was confiscated when he was right near the end the first time around. He wrote it in prison. He had to rewrite the whole thing. Jonathan Ross's wife, who obviously writes big Hollywood blockbusters now, but she

got the job for X-Men, I think, one of the X-Men films, and she wrote it and there was this bug on the Apple version of Word and it turned everything to like astersterix, I think, something like that. And anyway, so Jonathan Ross rang up Johnny Ives, you know, the main designer for Apple,

and basically said, can you help? And so Johnny Ives said, all right, yeah, I'll sort out a transport, send it to Silicon Valley. Nothing they could do. They couldn't do anything about it. That is the best endeavor, really. Well, at least you know you've left those stuff unturned there. Exactly, because you had to deliver it to stone unturned there. Yeah, exactly.

Because she had it delivered to Warner Brothers or whatever the next week or something. Why couldn't they do anything about it? Yeah, it's just one in a million bug. It happens to five people a year, and it just so happened to both Emily and also her friends as well. So in the mid-90s, I was obsessed with The X-Files. Right. As I'm sure many people were. And the first work of Jane she's called Jane Goldman right?

the first work of Jane Goldman I'd ever ever come across she wrote the official X-Files Book of the Unexplained oh really? Volume 1 and 2

and I got those for Christmas and later on I was like Jane Goldman hang on a minute and I looked in my shelf and so that was obviously how she well one of the

ways she started out I think doing like non-fiction stuff of that type how interesting is that not very

it doesn't matter because that's what this show is all about you never know if it's going to be interesting until you say it

classic classic I might go back and re-watch a lot of the X-Files see what it's like did you watch any of the reboots

terrible couldn't get on with it could not get on with it at all Classic episode. I might go back and re-watch a lot of the X-Files, see what it's like. Did you watch any of the reboots? Terrible. Couldn't get on with it. Stinking. Could not get on with it at all. We've been talking about drug planes quite a lot. Yes, we have. Drugs being transported by planes. So we've had a few emails on the subject,

which is quite good. There's an amazing email from a guy from Baltimore. Have you got it? Yes. Yeah, man, it's so good. Isn't there, mate? So good. We'll kick off with Srirams, though.

Hello, Sriram. Hello, Mr. Moore and Mr. Donaldson. I was into episode 53 today, this morning, on my way to work, and I was amazed to hear the topic of Indian courts come up because I'm currently a lawyer

working in Mumbai, India. There we go. I hear it's the new Bombay. The Luke and Pete show tentacles stretch far and wide. Not what I was expecting when I downloaded the episode today, this morning.

Firstly, I have no experience with the American judicial system, except from American movies and television shows, which I'm quite sure are in no way indicative of the actual state of affairs over there. That being said, while I would like to be patriotic and defend the honour of Indian courts, the fact of the matter is that most of them are indeed quite

lackadaisical. They are, of course, exceptions on account of the brilliance of few individual judges who happen to be a member of that court, but those are few and far between. Another fact I would like to mention, though, which might interest you, is that the current legislation pertaining to the laws of evidence in India is actually the Evidence Act of 1872. As you are no doubt aware, India became independent in 1947.

In other words, the said piece of legislation was enacted by the Imperial Legislative Council which was the legislature for British India from 1861 to 1947 hence any criticism which JW from America may have in relation to the handling of confiscated

cocaine should be directed at you lot and not us since we Indians weren't actually involved in the drafting of this piece of legislation we'll take it on the chin i think yeah i think so sir i'm thank you very much for that one that is so informative i am humbled and embarrassed that an actual member of the court system is uh listening involved well let's follow listen follow that up with this though pete from george this is one of my favorite emails of all time also referencing the wire i love's why. I love it.

Also referencing JW from a couple of weeks ago. This is from George, who has Rayovac and Duracell batteries. He says, what? This is brilliant. This is so Baltimore, it's amazing. While listening to episode 53,

I was initially shocked to hear an American attorney talking out of his ass. Talking out of his ass, behind his briefs. But given the lawyers I've encountered during my career, the surprise quickly faded. I have long been a drug detective in Baltimore, in fact, for over 20 years.

And yes, the wire is pretty accurate. And worked with federal drug task forces for over a decade. I love it. We frequently employ private airline carriers to transport evidence in sealed containers that have been seized by foreign customs officials. This has been established with diplomatic agreements between various governments. And it's a fairly common practice, transport evidence and seal containers that have been seized by foreign customs officials this has been established with diplomatic agreements between various governments and there's a fairly common

practice given the global nature of the drug trade i don't really have anything witty to add but felt motivated to write solely because i never pass up the opportunity to stick it to an attorney or barrister as you guys with the funny accent like to say george now george if you are an actual drug detective in baltimore we need to hear more from you yeah simple as that really i don't care what it is and in what capacity but if you're our man in baltimore we've seen we've all seen the wire we want more from you more more more that's what i said if you've ever done a drug bust where do you first look when you get into a house for drugs there we go good question do you start cupboards or you just go no one's gonna

keep it in a cupboard they're gonna keep it somewhere else aren't they when you're following someone how do you not get caught? Yeah. How do you trail them? Um, how big has he got them? No. Um.

And seriously, George, we want some emails from you, and if those pencil pushers down at City Hall don't like it, they can have my badge. They, um, somebody hid,

somebody bought an NES Nintendo, Nintendo Entertainment System, uh, cartridge, uh, this week, or or last week or the week before. It doesn't really matter. And they found a load of drugs in it. So someone's been hiding some druggies inside the cartridge. And when they first bought it, they were like, this is very heavy.

This cartridge is particularly heavy for an NES card. And instead of just opening it up with a screwdriver, they Googled the normal weight for an NES card. Just get the screwdriver out and open it up. What's the worst going to happen? What drug was it? I don't actually know. It looked quite heavily...

It was either a drug resin, which is probably heroin. How did you hear about this? On Kotaku.com, which has everything I need for a balanced video game life. Along with that other one, that other website you use for this show. What's it called?

Atlas Obscura. Tits. What? Atlas Obscura. Atlas Obscura. But seriously, that's a great email from George, isn't it? Yeah, well done, George. We still haven't had another email from Pilot Neil, which disappoints me.

No, we have had something from another pilot. No, wait. No, it's a different one. But we'll keep reading the emails in order, and we'll get there from another pilot. No, wait. No, it's a different one. But we'll keep reading the emails in order, and we'll get there from another pilot. A couple more plane-related emails, aren't there, which is one of our favourite subjects. Adam from Atlanta.

To further the talks of transporting cocaine on flights, there was a flight attendant for JetBlue, a US-based carrier, who was caught trying to smuggle £60. You lot can figure that out in stone, of cocaine. It's a lot. She was caught because she was selected to be randomly searched. Rather than being searched, she dropped her carry-on,

kicked off her shoes, and ran down an upward escalator. While she did escape capture, she surrendered in New York days later. I can't help but think she simply had something for Pilot Neil, and this is all just a big misunderstanding. Oh, Pilot Neil's not involved. Hee-hee. That's not right. I mean, I like the way that she's just thought, you know what, I'm out of here. Yeah, I was likeal's not involved. Hee hee. That's not right. I mean,

I like the way that she's just thought, you know what, I'm out of here. Yeah, I was like, fuck this, I'm done. Because I would probably say something like,

I'd probably say something like, oh, someone must have put that in my bag. Yeah, exactly. Some trickster. As soon as you start running, you're out,

you're in trouble. Yeah. It's over. He ends the email by saying, I did try to get my wife to listen to the show. After a few minutes, she asked, what nonsense is this?

So now whenever I try explaining something from the show, I have to lead off with the immortal words. It was on the British podcast about nonsense. Which is fairly accurate. I mean, I wouldn't be recounting any of this

to anyone. No, I'm not offended by any of this, to be honest. Another plane slash air travel related email from Claude.

You don't hear from Claude. Hello, Claude. Maybe it's Claude from The Apprentice. Remember Claude from The Apprentice? No, I don't Claude. Oh, maybe it's Claude from The Apprentice. Remember Claude from The Apprentice? No, I don't. One of the best ever lines.

You know in The Apprentice when, do you ever watch it? You're fired, Sean. You're fired. Yeah, so there's an episode about seven or eight weeks in or whatever when there's only about

five of them left where they do a, they set up a set of quite hard-hitting interviews. Right. So it's not a challenge, it's not a task. Yeah.

They have to prepare their business plans and their CVs and they go and be interviewed by a lot of Alan Sugar's mates. And one of them is Claude and now he's the right-hand man to Alan Sugar

but he used to just be the interview guy and he was so harsh, it was unbelievable. Right. And before he became a right-hand man, he was like the highlight

of the series. He's still quite good now but that was the real thing. And it's classic, there's one scene and I know it's edited to shit, but it's still really funny. This guy comes in.

You know the type of apprentice candidate. They're all quite cocksure. Yeah, estate agents. Yeah, basically. They are basically estate agents or car salesmen or whatever, really. And this guy comes in full of the joys of spring

thinking he's the big swinging dick. And he sits down. And it's probably edited to make it look like he's sat there for ages, but he sits there for like five minutes and Claude's just reading for his CV. And he just looks up and goes, it says here on your CV that you get on very well with everyone.

You're not getting on very well with me, are you? That's class. There's another way he did it where he just goes to the guy, this business plan is preposterous. Please leave. And the guy doesn't get to say anything. He just gets him out of there he has to leave

anyway Claude business is wank isn't it a different Claude has been in touch he says hey guys love the show been listening from the beginning

I'm also sorry can I just jump in there why don't they have a version of The Apprentice with with pilots no with you have a faster plane

everyone's dead you're fired with Muhammad Al-Fayed you're fired I think Muhammad Al-Fayed. You're fired. I think that joke's been done by some jobbing stand-up. Shit. Yeah, probably.

Yeah, probably. You're fired. No, you're fired. Yeah. It works. No, you're fired. No, you're fired. It could go on for years.

It does work. Claude says, I'm also a pilot, and although you seem to have the aviation correspondent for the pod sorted, I thought I would just chip in. Well, Pilot Neil's gone absent,

so Claude, there might be an opening for you i wanted to send the drink claude said i wanted to help clarify the maybe he's on a really long haul flight for like three weeks i wanted to help clarify the cockpit door situation because i hear this stuff all the time and it would be nice if more people knew how it works basically at my airline and most others as far as i know while the engines are off essentially before we can push back and after we've arrived on stand, if you ask the cabin manager nicely, time permitting, you can come into the flight deck and say hello.

Obviously, it's often more suitable once we've arrived on stand, time wasting, so there you go. It's a nice feeling when we can make a kid's day after a long flight and even sit in our seat and get a photo. I hope that clears it up. Keep up the good work. Well, Donny, you should do this when you're flying out next. I'm pissed at my mind on EasyJet. Let's have a go on the steering wheel.

I'll do a loop-the-loop. Flick all the switches, like random sort of switches. Oh, God. Because there are switches everywhere. I reckon you could get away with flicking at least seven before you get thrown out. And they wouldn't necessarily know which ones they were.

A friend of mine is a pilot, said that, you know when you see on films when the pilot's had a heart attack or whatever and they have to talk someone down, fly it down. He said it's so sensitive, it would be impossible for someone who's never flown before to do that.

Yeah, hugely. So I guess they want to grab someone on the plane who's done a bit of flying before. Who's on nodding turns. With modern ballistics. With modern ballistics. With modern ballistics. I know, we talked about JetBlue a little earlier, and I know a marketing executive, or rather actually the head of marketing,

I think, for JetBlue. I've flown with them before. They were terrible. Well, I think they're very good, actually. Oh, do you? They're a very progressive company. Translated into the fact that you've got a friend that works there. Good point.

But, you know, she's very impressive. Do you want to do an email? Do this email from David Golding. Have you seen it? All right then. David Golding. Batteries, everactives. I've been listening to your output since the beginning.

I enjoy all the shows. Keep up the good work. The current stupidest thing I've heard at Trope on the show got me thinking about a friend and the plethora of stupid stuff he used to say and do. Let me set the scene. 2005. Nick had just passed his driving test we went out for a drive and he was hurtling towards a speed camera when i said you'd better slow down you'd better slow down nick pointing at the speed camera that they were approaching now nick isn't the sharpest but

what he did next was hilarious and it's honestly honestly true he said don't worry mate i've got it covered he then took his hand and placed it over his speedometer and said, they will never take a picture of it now. That's unbelievable. Yeah. After I'd stopped laughing, I did try and explain speed equals distance over time, but he wasn't having any of it.

A week later, when he received the speeding ticket, though, he asked me to explain it again. David Golding, excellent work. David Golding, we can judge a man on the company he keeps. You, my friend. That is something else. You are the one-eyed king

in the kingdom of the blind. I've got, I love that. I've got, I've got a really interesting email here about scurvy. Do you want to hear it? Yes, please.

Just changing tack entirely. Hurt me, daddy. Nick Chadwick Williams, a man who presumably is so posh he's never even had to contemplate not having enough vitamin C

but he says hearing you chat about scurvy last week reminded me of some of the incredible and terrifying effects scurvy can have I've not personally

witnessed these luckily five a day etc by the way I'm no doctor I have no relevant qualifications at all I just read about this somewhere I looked it up

and what he's about to say as far as I can make out is true scurvy is the lack of vitamin C. Vitamin C is necessary for collagen synthesis. Wounds are essentially stitched up with collagen, which forms scar tissue, and is also important for healing bones. So if you've got scurvy, i.e. low vitamin C,

new wounds and broken bones will heal really slowly, or not at all. But vitamin C is also crucial for collagen maintenance, since your body is constantly replacing the collagen in scar tissue. And here's the kicker here, Pete. If the scurvy is bad enough, old scars can reopen and bones can start falling apart from old breaks. That is fucking horrific. It's like a curse.

It is. But you can imagine why people believed in curses when they were put back in. Because I'm thinking pirates here. Are you thinking pirates? I'm thinking men of the ships. Yeah.

Merchant sailors. Different way of saying what I just said. Men of the ships. So if you don't get enough vitamin C and develop scurvy, old scars can reopen and bones can start falling apart

from old breaks. So the stuff you thought you'd put behind you oh that this is a story to tell hang on a minute that was four years ago why is it bleeding again when i was when i was reading this i was thinking imagine if i'd gone back in time and i had like all the i sort of think about all the knowledge i have now that i could make money out of in the past so like you, you know, wash your hands, don't drink rotten water, blah, blah, blah. Scurvy would be a good one because you'd be like,

oh, I've got a special portion that I dissolve in orange juice. Yeah. I've put all of this, I've put my medicine in these oranges and you've got to eat them. Some philosophers said

expensive oranges. I think the problem was that you couldn't get oranges, right? That wouldn't work, would it? No, you can keep oranges, can't you? Back in the day, I don't think they had

ready access to oranges. My granddad even said that in would it? No, you can keep oranges, can't you? Back in the day, I don't think they had ready access to oranges. My granddad even said that in the Second World War they couldn't get oranges. No, but no one

was nice to Scurvy at that point. No, I think they just didn't know what was caused by Scurvy, but people who ate oranges didn't have

any. And I'm saying rethink your business plan. Well, no. You're fired. Quickly, some philosopher or

some anthropologist did say that scientific development in our generation would be indistinguishable from magic from the generation before. So if you went back now with knowledge like you've got today, I mean, it would be ridiculous. Should have my freshly lizard armpits. Yeah, doesn't he say? Fuck. Exactly. That's a great development. Fucking hell. Is it in Sapiens, the Harari book, where he says,

I think he said an eight-year-old child would be the most intelligent person however many years ago. Brilliant. Because there's so much. But listen to this. Here's one for you, following up from the Scurvy email. Chili peppers, black currants, parsley, kiwis, broccoli, sprouts, bell peppers, strawberries.

What have they all got in common? A terrible meal. It depends. Well, mixing all... Yeah, you have to use every last one of those ingredients. It wouldn't be that bad, but sprouts would be great. All those things, Pete, have got more vitamin C in them than an orange. Is that right?

And do you know why that's fascinating to me? Marketing. Because oranges are the go-to vitamin C shout in the UK, at least. If someone says, I've got a cold, get an orange. Fascinating to me. Marketing. Because oranges are the go-to vitamin C shout. Yeah. In the UK, at least. If someone says, I've got a cold, get an orange. Even though vitamin C apparently hasn't been proven to link to recovery from a cold. You know what, though?

I never used to take vitamin supplements, but I discovered in boots these chewy little jellies. Oh, God. Here we go. Chewy little jellies. And now your scars have never looked better. And I have never looked better. And I have one every day.

Every day, every two days. I used to have a cold on average every month to two months. I've not had a cold touch wood in about five months now. Four months. It's incredible. The most recent thinking is that it's zinc apparently. Zinc is the one. Not even vitamin C. Tom Zinc.

Isn't it crazy to think that if you want to get your vitamin C intake, you're better off with a handful of strawberries than you are an orange? Yeah, but I mean, strawberries are really expensive, aren't they? And they're not always great. Oranges have a better hit rate than strawberries, I think. Couple of kiwis? Couple of kiwis. Got a spoiler in it.

Bit of broccoli? Do you like broccoli? Yeah, I like broccoli. I like every well-prepared vegetable. And I guess the problem with chili peppers is going to be that you're going to have to get quite a few of them down you, and they're going to be quite uncomfortable to eat.

There we go. Oh, well, there you go. Love your job. Do you want one final email? Yeah, let's round it off with a final email. Why don't you do it? No, we don't want... Okay, well, hello to Bo Bedingfield.

Great name. I've got to get through this. Great name. I've got to get through this. I've got to get through this. This is just a weird kind of scene that you'd expect in, like, a film or something. Hi, Luke and Pete. I am 36. Going through old episodes,

the Tam Am Shud case reminded me of a much less interesting but still baffling unsolved case from my own life you might find interesting. Well, we'll be the judge of that. Around the year year 2000 i was 18 and playing in a mediocre rock band we were driving on from a gig through the absolutely middle of norway in rural georgia we stopped at a 24-hour gas station that we were shocked to find in a really remote remote location we gassed up got some junk food and we were nearly ready to leave the rest of our bandmates were back in the van as our drummer and I smoked cigarettes and drank coffee on the curb.

It was between 3 and 4 a.m., so we were shocked to see a Buick LeSabre, yeah, Buick LeSabre, which is like a classic grandparents' car back in the day, pull into the parking lot. In the car was a Caucasian couple who I pegged to be in their mid-70s. The couple parked in front of the store but made no move to exit the car until, look at this, moments later, a black van with no rear windows pulled in and parked two spaces beside them.

From the black van emerged three immaculately dressed men with Asian features I took to be Japanese. This was a highly educated guess based on my immense experience with Japanese culture from that one time I was eight and my family was an exchange student from Kyoto. The men from the van were clearly wearing black suits, crisp white shirts and no ties. They helped the elderly man out of the Buick, though he did not seem to need assistance. The elderly man waved at the woman, she waved back, and then the men from the van helped the elderly man into the side of the van.

After that, both vehicles left the parking lot heading in different directions for years now i've sought an explanation for years i've come up with nothing plausible before you say posh airport shuttle there was no luggage and why a van with three attendants rather than a limo or a town car i would love to hear if you or your listeners have experienced similar minor mysteries it is a mystery that that is, isn't it? I read the email earlier. I couldn't think of why that would be happening. I would love listeners to get...

It's like something out of Fargo. It really is. I would love listeners to get in touch and give us their theories. Hello at LukeandPeach.com. Bo Bediff is a great name. It's such a good name that I googled it, and I found out that his band are called The Wide Ls. The Wide Ls?

And they're from... Aren't they fairly well known, The Wide Ls? No, the Widells the Widells and they're from aren't they fairly well known the Widells no I'm not aware of them they're from

Athens Georgia though keeping up that tradition of great bands from Athens Neutral Milk Hotel REM Olivia Tremor Control

all those lot good stuff are they doing Neutral Milk Hotel doing that album I think they're doing an album version live version of them

doing the Airplane Over Sea album. I've seen that live. I've seen that done live. I think it was done at an Automotive Parties. And the guy, the main guy in Nutri-Muk Hotel is a very reclusive, quite odd character. And when I went to see them, or see him, I guess,

it was, I've never seen, I think it might have even been listed as Jeff Mangum and not Nutri-Muk Hotel. He's the main guy I've never seen somebody sign saying do not take any photos

really if you do you're out of here wow he was very very particular about that but I really enjoyed watching him

he did two sets that weekend I believe Athens Georgia bustling it used to be traditionally a very very very rich music scene

but if you can get an aeroplane over the sea classic rendition right there I mean it's up there with it been

it been it's been it been but if you can solve that Bo Beddingfield mystery the Bo Beddingfield

mysteries the Bo Beddingfield mysteries it's hello at lukeandpete show.com with your theories we'd love to hear

from them also pilot Neil get in touch we're getting a bit worried a bit worried about you pal go off the's gone off the radar. Go to flight24.co.uk

and find out where he is. Flightradar.com. There's nothing bad to happen. He's probably just having a bit of time off. Probably fancy another podcast. Yeah, I would. I would.

Gimlet put something new out. He's probably listening to that. Gimlet. Like everyone else. You're obsessed with Gimlet. Good. Bloody good stuff. Gimlet reminds me of the word

giblet, though, and it just makes me think of bits of body. The only... Well, a vodka gimlet reminds me of the word giblet though and it just makes me think of bits of body the only well a vodka gimlet is also a cocktail the only podcast I like listening to

are of course Radio Stakhanov podcast I think so from abroad in Japan to wrestle me there are other podcasts that I'm not involved in yeah

I'm not on listen to them all Berkhamstead Revisited Radio Stakhanov.com that's about it from us isn't it Peter I'm going to eat

my banana yeah get your banana get yourself on that plane out to wherever it is you're going come back safe

guess what Japanese for banana is banana is it really yeah is it like in France when they

have the sort of more modern words that come through are just they're sort of universal it's like homogenised like the internet

why banana is banana and apple is like a ringo I don't understand why that's the case they're sort of universal. It's a homogenised, like, lean to net. Why banana is banana and apple is a ringo? I don't understand why that's the case. Maybe I can find it on the Broad and Japan podcast that we also do.

You're the expert, Peter. You are the expert. I am the expert. Good, finally. Someone admits it. I've realised we missed out on an email that I wanted to do and I've got an anecdote about it.

Mate, we'll put it in the box. I will do. I've got a box of emails we don't get through and we'll pile through it next time. It's from Pete from Wrexham. Pete, if you're still listening mate we'll put it in the box I will do I've got a box of emails we don't get through and we'll pile through it next time it's from Pete from Wrexham Pete if you're still listening

we'll get to there at some point mate we apologise hold tight Pete from Wrexham if you want to get to the show hello at lutenpeetshow.com baby's off to have his banana yes and we'll be seeing you

on Thursday bye goodbye you on Thursday. Bye! Goodbye!