The Luke and Pete Show - Episode 80: Fast food rigidity

Episode Date: July 12, 2018

We open proceedings this time around with a tale about a stork that ended up costing a charity a £2000 phone bill, and things get slowly more bizarre from there.The two main takeaways are, well, er, takeaways and names it is absolutely impossible to call a baby in 2018. We round this entire derring-do off with a good look at Jackass-inspired injuries and how they're not particularly conducive to enjoying yourself at a music festival. What ho!Indulge us: [e-mail]***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

All right, Fatty Boom Batties, Pete Donaldson here from the Pete bit of the Luke and Pete show. Watcha. The way you said that was like I wasn't here as well. Fatty Boom Batties. I am here. You are here. Imagine if I had to do this by myself.

That'd be confusing, wouldn't it? Maybe we should try all that. I do, I do like a show by myself and then you do the Thursday one. Oh, you're trying to sort of

share the workload. Yeah, or double it in many ways because I've got to talk for ages. Pete Donaldson, the podcast game, what's that word,

Pete, that people use for Japanese? Anime. Podcast game, anime character, Pete Donaldson. Uh, yeah. That works, doesn't it? It works. for Japanese? Anime. Podcast game anime character, Pete Donaldson. Yeah. That works, doesn't it?

It works. Yeah. It works. I'm Luke Moore. That is Pete Donaldson. We are here with Luke and Pete Show. I think this is episode 80, but as we established on the last episode,

we just don't know. You ain't got a clue. No one knows. It doesn't actually matter. The only reason it matters is because it gets labelled properly on iTunes and then people can refer to it when they're emailing in saying, oh, that thing you talked about on that episode,

which we can't remember anyway, gives them a bit of an anchor, doesn't it? And it'll be great for the lawyers in our eventual trial. They can sort of reference a particular episode. Indeed. So last time around we talked a bit about eggs that are like condoms. It wasn't pleasant. A school prank that went way too far so the yummy so the yum putting the yum in sodium um what else oh gadgets gadgets we've had lots of emails about gadgets we'll get to those next week i think needless

gadgets not needless why are they needless well i mean a blood what a heart rate monitor and a um a blood pressure monitor you've just you've just shed billions off the gadget market by saying that never use the word not in yeah i don't know why am i not seen as this kind of like visionary of the future a few reasons a number of reasons i've got an amazon prime account that's how i get all my tech i've never seen like a a um a news story about i don't know like jeff bezos which says um bezos uh would have made the and the uh the agm but was unfortunately unavailable due to falling asleep in hyde park and getting so sunburned he couldn't move visionary that doesn't happen no because he'd probably have like a tesla uh sunblocker or something he does that's he don musk he'd have

business is amazon yeah he drives a is Amazon, isn't he? He drives a really crap car, doesn't he? He probably has someone to get the sunburn for him. Probably got the sunburn. I want to go out in the sun today,

but to be honest, I haven't got time. Can you get sunburn for me? I like those Twitter posts where Elon Musk or Jeff Bezos basically goes, I don't know what to do

with all my money. And then it cuts to Amazon employees forced to not go to the toilet. I do wonder why a man that powerful and that wealthy allows that to happen. Now, I understand the bottom line is there, but the PR damage presumably takes care of the savings anyway. No, very few big corporations pay big amounts of corporation tax

or decent amounts of corporation tax in Britain. And yet, I still use their products because it's convenience and I am lazy. I've got a friend, a good friend of mine, Duncan. Bloody good friend of mine, actually. One of my closest friends. He is very principled about companies he will and won't use to the point where he's got like a blacklist,

which he doggedly sticks to. It's very hard. Exactly. But he is one of the most stubborn men in a good way that I've ever met. If you go far enough up the pole, you are going to experience...

Because you're in business. You're a dickhead anywhere because you've got to be a dickhead. You've got to be ruthless. You've got to be a shit. Yeah, indeed. And so you've always got to find something problematic.

You just always are. Indeed. I think he's down to about three airlines he can actually use now. As soon as EasyJet can fly. I'm trying to get around the word on EasyJet. His wife got injured on a holiday once or a trip away once,

and they were terrible at helping her get home, so he never used them since. One's been so bad with it. He's got about three airlines he can literally use. That's it. I should get him to email in with his list of blacklisted companies and why. That would be quite good. But I haven't got that to hand. One thing I have got

to hand though, Pete, is something I really want to read to you, which to me and for my money and hopefully for the listeners who are tuning in, the news story of the year. I'm just going to read it to you. I don't think you've ever seen it. Big potatoes, mate. It's brilliant. Listen to this. A Polish charity

has received a huge phone bill. I can't believe this. I wrote this in my phone. You're being serious? Yeah, I was going to read this out as well. Oh, man, look at that. We're on the same blooming wavelength, Donny. Wait a minute. Where's me notes?

Notes. Twitter post. Where does that take us? A Polish environmental group. All right, shall I read it or do you want to read it? No, I don't have the facts. I'm like you, but worse researched. Yeah, shall I read it or do you want to read it? No, I don't have the facts. I'm like you, but worse researched.

Yeah, I agree with that actually. A Polish charity has received a huge phone bill after it lost a GPS tracker that it placed on the back of a stalk.

According to official broadcaster Radio Poland, the environmental ecologic group placed a tracker on the back of a white stalk last year

to track the bird's migratory habits. It travelled some 3,700 miles and was traced to the Blue Nile Valley in eastern Sudan before the charity lost contact. Ecologic told the Super Express newspaper that somebody found the tracker in Sudan, removed the SIM card,

put it in their own phone and then racked up 20 hours worth of phone calls i'm loving it i'm loving that uh and i like that i like the fact that the systems uh kind of meant to track this kind of uh this this gps signal probably didn't have a handle on like you know what it was spending no radio Poland says the organisation received a phone bill of over £10,000 Polish zloty or £2,064 which it will have to pay. That seems underwhelming for me.

No, I'm busy there. It would have been long distance at huge amounts of... It would have been really expensive, I think. But the thing I don't get about the story is that it explicitly says here 20 hours worth of phone calls.

So there is like a decent level of shithousery going on here. Because they're obviously thinking, I suppose I've got this in because I might as well just make unnecessary. No one needs to make 20 hours of phone calls. They're just doing it because they think, it's not me paying for it. It's almost like you get given a supermarket sweep and you get loads of food you don't need and it'll all just go off. It just rots.

People on the other end of the line, I've been talking to you for an hour, you've not said anything yet, what's going on? Well, what it is, is actually I've got

this SIM card and it's free so I just thought I'd call you. What you're doing is you're wasting my time. You're wasting energy. You're wasting both of our time and you're costing the charity

a lot of money. There's a lot to enjoy about that story. I wish I could do this show by phone. Well some would argue that you do phone it in. Apparently anyway

just to finish off the story stalk tagging plays an important role in environmentalist research and the conservation of migratory birds can

be used to help scientists assess their habits, social behaviour and threats. Do you know how they could have saved money there? This Polish

environmental group. What? Just ask the stalk where he's gone. Yeah where you going? Where you going mate? What are you how they could have saved money there? This Polish environmental group. What? Just ask the star where he's gone. Yeah, where are you going? Where are you going, mate? What are you doing? What are you doing there?

It's a little diary. I'll keep a diary. And the thing about it is that this charity deserves everything it gets because the white stalk is apparently not currently at risk.

Oh, foolish. Well, probably due to their fine work. Yeah. I imagine. Well, not due to their security work. Listen, that SIM card's expensive, so keep an eye on it, will you?

I think their funding's at risk. I think their funding's endangered. It came back. Oh, where's the SIM card? Ah, yeah, I was going to talk to you about that. Got whipped off me back. Oh, well. Anyway, what's been floating in your boat, Donaldson?

That, apparently. Loads of stuff. I'm still recovering from a dreadful sunburn. Yeah. It's a theme. I'm hoping that's going to leave me at some point. What did I do over the weekend?

What did I do? I went to a birthday party and Chesney Hawks played. But get this, Chesney Hawks did songs that the person who booked him liked. As in,

he just did covers of songs that the birthday boy liked. He's learnt that ahead of time. Amazing though. Yeah, exactly. So he's playing his guitar. He's playing like Walking on that the birthday boy liked. He's learnt that ahead of time. Amazing though. Yeah, exactly. So he's playing his guitar. He's playing like Walking on Sunshine, Walking on Sunshine.

And Summer of 69. It's so weird seeing Chesney Hawks sing those songs. I've got a, I don't know the guy in question. I don't even know whose birthday it was. But I think if you're getting an artist to play some songs you like for your birthday specifically, and you end up with Chesney Hawks playing on walking on sunshine that sends a message what do you mean i think it's low rent what do you mean it's low rent it's you're paying for chesney hawks

to not do his normal set i.e i am the one and only and then come back and do what was the second song it was that one he did for the buddy holly musical right um probably does. I imagine he does. I'm a man, not a boy. That's right. I imagine he does I Am The One And Only more than once at live shows. He does it in acoustic kind of, I'm the one and only. Then he puts the backing track on for the finale. There you go. But he's very self-aware.

He's had the mole removed, which is very disappointing. Yeah. Maybe he got caught. Maybe he got sunburned and he was worried about the the movement of it it's all right for you to get um your sweat glands lasered off but it's not all right for chesney hawk to have a mole removed well that's cosmetic isn't it i'm a big sweaty mess i'm ruining clothes mate that's true i'm ruining reputation my reputation whose birthday was it was anyone famous uh it was a guy called tetley who's a very

well thought of guy very high up in sales and you know we sort of see people So no then? Well what I was talking about earlier as in if you're in business like you

have to be a bit of a C word like this guy's like quite high up and you sort of go how come everyone loves him and he's really nice? It's really weird.

I'm like how have you managed to get so high but still keep everyone on side and be nice? Does he live in some sort of Patrick Bateman type existence?

I don't know you'd have to ask him. But his name's Tetley because he's from the north. So there you go. You went to a birthday party where Chesney Hawks was the main event. It was in the Lenn Hall building. It was like 41 floors up. Beautiful.

Nice spot. Yeah. Nice spot. I mean, that is a man who clearly knows how to push the boat out when it comes to his birthday. We were looking at the boats on the Thames. I'm mistrustful of a person as an adult who gets too into

their own birthday though. What do you mean? I just don't think it's... I think it's 50. Oh, it's his 50th, is it? Okay, well, fair enough then. Fair enough. Apparently he had a legendary one

on his 40th as well. But it was a flipping good party. Well done him. I've not had a birthday since I was 30. Well, you have. You haven't had a party

since you were 30. I've not had a party. If a birthday falls in the woods, it's just like, do had a party since you were 30. I've not had a party. If a birthday falls in the woods, it's just like, do you celebrate? Do you ever really do anything?

I'm always surprised that people want to celebrate or want to sort of go, what are we going to do if it's your birthday? But the way you said that, and I

know you as a man who will talk to girls in bars and say you're 30, so it gives you the context of thinking that you're still 30.

How rude. There we go. I've not been to any birthday parties at all. I have... You don't get invited to them. No, I don't. And to be fair, it's one of those things where...

I have my own friends. Five words. There we go. I don't have a particularly interesting going anyway. So everyone wins. Everyone wins. You're a cat man. You've turned into a cat man.

You've become a hermit based cat man I think that's a misconception what well I did I tell you that my two cats have had to go on a diet I don't know if you told them on the podcast

but oh no you did yeah you did because Hercules is taking it on the chin I'm not a I'm not a cat man I am an animal lover right

who for practical reasons can't have a dog right so he decides to have a couple of cats I see and if I had my own way when I get out of this whole foul so he decides to have a couple of cats. I see. And if I had my own way, when I get out of this whole fowl jamboree in a few years' time

and I'm out on the countryside, I'll have a dog and a couple of cats, I expect. So shove that in your pipe, Donaldson. And a monkey. Yeah. Get a ferret. Is that Lee? See, I'm very unclear.

It's like a long egg compared to an egg. Ferret. True, yeah. I'm very unclear on what animals... I'd love to see a ferret eating a long egg. Oh, my God! Hello at Luke and Peter Imagine a ferret

eating a long egg. Like you've made a long egg for a ferret. The image alone. It wouldn't be able to eat the whole thing. No, but it would nibble at the side.

But the egg would be long and the ferret would be long. Oh! It'd be so long. Can you remind me of that image? Because that's fantastic. Hello at Luke and Peter

dot com if you can make that happen. I mean, people of that image? Because that's fantastic. Hello at LukeandPetra.com if you can make that happen. I mean, people should be able to make that happen, right? I forgot what I was going to say now because you sidetracked me. I need to go. I need to go on Pets R Us. I was going to say, I'm unclear.

Presumably you are as well, Pete. Because you've got no respect for the law. What animals are legal and what aren't right there's an exotic pets act i think you can get licenses for certain animals and stuff but like back in the 70s you could just buy a monkey off anyone exactly yeah a golden age golden age remember a few episodes ago when someone emailed us in saying an eagle dropped a snake on a bald man's head it's like i'd love that i love if that happened yeah the sound it might be amazing but who knows anyway let's go

over a break and let's do some emails Pete can I use the Brian Blessed sound effect because I enjoyed it it went down

bloody well last time she's going to report me for saying bugger you know oh just wait till I see your mother you're in real trouble oh I say

what if you're going to go and see her then tell her this bugger shit fuck shit fucking sphincter fucking sphincter so Fucking sphincter? It's so meaty at the end.

Yeah. Remember that story about Blessed dressed as Henry VIII getting really pissed off? Anyway. So last time around I gave you some options

for some emails involving testicles. Testicles. You declined those emails. No. So we're going to do them now. Do you want man damages balls or man protects balls with burrito? Oh, burrito please. No. So we're going to do them now. Do you want man damages balls or man protects balls

with burrito? Oh, burrito please. Okay. I think pushing a burrito against your testicles wouldn't be the worst thing you could do with your testicles

or your burrito. This email is a man, it's from a man called Keith. Okay. Hey Keith. You wouldn't name a kid Keith now would you? You wouldn't.

Imagine a baby being called Keith now. Baby Neil. Why would you call your baby Neil imagine that yeah imagine if you went around your friend's house they say oh yeah baby's

been born all that come and visit no name yet all right so you go around there with your little teddy bear and your flowers congratulations go

into the room and they spring up on you yeah oh what have you called him he's lovely you're holding him all right so there's nowhere to hide yeah what you

called him Keith baby Randy what's your're holding him. There's nowhere to hide. What do you call him? Keith. Baby Randy. What's your reaction? What's your reaction? What? Keith. Keith.

Too late. No, too late. You've already ruined it. You've taken too long. I looked at the middle distance there and I didn't mean to. Let's practice it again, okay?

Okay, right, ready? You just start this role play by asking me what I've called my baby. You're holding the baby. Oh, what a beautiful baby. Oh, he's got that new baby smell. What have you called him?

Keith. Fuck off! It's a ridiculous name. I'm dropping this baby immediately. No, seriously. Seriously. I am genuinely interested in what you would do. So do it again.

I'll drop the baby. I've just got, fuck off. I've just got, fuck it. Get, fuck, no. Let's go one more time. Right. You start. You're holding the baby, so hold the baby.

Oh, this baby is so cute. Look, he's got such long eyelashes. Oh, he's so cute. Oh, what's his name? Warren. Get the fuck out of here. I'm taking this baby into Child Protective Services. You can't be trusted.

You wouldn't get a baby called... You're a diddler. can't be trusted. You wouldn't get a baby called... You're a diddler! You're a diddler! Give me another name that you wouldn't call a baby now. Franklin. No, you would. You'd get that. That's a wacky name. You'd get that. Franklin? Okay. I think Joseph's a bit of a swerve. You'd definitely get that. Yeah. Steve?

It's a shortening though, isn't it? No, but not Stephen. Steve. Yeah, Pete. I think Pete's a stupid name for a baby Pete you wouldn't call a baby Pete now it just wouldn't happen you earn the dropping

of the letter don't you because I was always like Peter the baby it's biblical yeah but Pete the baby yeah

someone was saying to me the other day that they their friend but wacky names they're all the rage someone said to me the other day their friend or something whatever it was called called their

baby john right after a um a member of the family or something but ultimately it's still called john right what are you gonna do say to everyone oh we've called john but it's hard to remember no you've called the baby john it sounds mad doesn't it anyway keith thanks for sending the email in keith adolf we've just spent the last the last um 10 minutes trashing your name but look when you sounds mad, doesn't it? Anyway, Keith. Thanks for sending an email in, Keith. Adolf. We've just spent the last 10 minutes trashing your name. But look, when you were born, I imagine it was a different time

and that name was at least slightly more acceptable. Keith says, Hey guys. Hey Keith. Listening to the episode 76 stories of Tube Fights. Now we named about four episodes

in episode 76 by accident. And like a good little content provider, I've decided to share the tale of how a bag of Chipotle once saved me on the NYC subway. Are you familiar with Chipotle? Chipotle, yes. Like a Mexican fast food restaurant. Din Dins.

I think you have them in London as well. I had been living in New York for a couple of years and my parents had come down to town for a visit. After a long day of sightseeing, my brother could not wait for dinner and insisted on grabbing a burrito. Nothing wrong with that. Keith says,

while I jostled him for getting Chipotle in one of the world's greatest food cities, again, I don't think there's anything wrong with that, I also ended up grabbing some chips and guacamole

for myself. I, of course, ended up carrying the big bag of food. As we hopped on the A train to head back to my tiny apartment, a young homeless woman boarded along with us.

She began her spiel asking for a bit of help, and before she could get three words out, a young fashionable woman nearby began shouting over her, talking about how this woman needs to get a job, is a bloke on society, etc. At which point, I, always eager to tell someone they're wrong or being a complete dick, began shouting over the top of her. It's a weird thing to do, isn't it?

As a young, fashionable person. Why are you getting involved? You're only ever going to come off badly. But it's New York, isn't it? Keith says, I'm sure everything I shouted was perfectly civil, but I may have blacked out from the euphoria of bringing justice to the world.

Whatever I said, it prompted a quite literal knee have blacked out from the euphoria of bringing justice to the world. Whatever I said it prompted a quite literal knee-jerk reaction from the fashionable woman who immediately kicked out aiming the pointy little toe of her fashionable little shoes directly for my man bits. Fortunately for me

I had left a Chipotle bag dangling in front of me several inches below my Louis Van Gals that's balls and it managed to absorb enough of the blow that my precious bits were only slightly grazed.

We then rode together in awkward silence on the crowded train for several stops. My father was proud, my mother was mortified, and my brother, like with most things, was unmoved. What?

Did you eat the burrito? Exactly. Was the burrito unscathed? Burritos are quite robust, aren't they? No, God no. One touch with the soggy bread and you've got a bag full of rice and shit. No, but I think once they're opened, they're very unrobust. But when they're wrapped, foiled, they're robust.

The ends are robust because they're tucked. The middle, very, very porous, very, very soft. If you get fast food food so you get a burger a McDonald's burger like a cheeseburger wrapped in a piece of paper yeah a burrito wrapped in foil

yeah nice and tight nice and tight nice and I don't want to do an Irish accent for a Mexican piece of food nice and fucking tight right

you get a what help me out here bag of chicken wings oh yeah chicken wings in a box yeah and you get a kebab in one of those polystyrene boxes right kebab's kind of like a burrito though isn. Chicken wings in a box. Yeah. And you get a kebab in one of those polystyrene boxes, right?

Kebab's kind of like a burrito, though, isn't it? Oh, in a polystyrene box. But it's packaged differently, yeah. So basically... Yeah, the burrito's definitely going to perish first. Well, I'm giving you a scenario. Yeah.

I walk up a moderate-sized ladder. Yeah. So I'm holding each foodstuff 12 feet off the floor. Mm. Okay? I then drop them all, completely like a science experiment that you do with like an egg at

school and they land on the concrete floor. Which one is surviving the best? You're talking about two different experiments though, because the pointy shoe is a small surface area. So it's got a puncture. So you're worried about a puncture injury. Yeah. But they are very, yeah.

But I mean like a flat, I still think the burrito will fare pretty well to be honest. I do as well. That's what a puncture. So you're worried about a puncture injury. Yeah. But they are very, yeah. But I mean, like a flat, I still think the burrito will fare pretty well, to be honest. I do as well, that's what I've said. But if I was going to kick one, the burrito would explode immediately. The boxes, it depends on whether the little polystyrene clasp has maintained integrity on the other two.

But the burger will probably survive a bit better, I reckon, depending on how they've... How tightly it's wrapped. how tightly it's wrapped. How tightly it's wrapped. Sometimes they tape them. They don't tape them in McDonald's. I said McDonald's. No.

You don't get any tape in McDonald's. No, you don't. I think a burrito is a very robust fast food stuff, and I think let's just leave it there. But thanks for that, Keith. And again, I apologise for riffing on your name. Yeah. Cain's got a different show.

Thank you, Cain. Not the rest, presumably. Big fan of the podcast. Thank you. I thought I'd write in and explain why M&Ms and such other imported luxury goods

have such inflated prices. Interesting term of imported luxury good. But when companies over here import luxury goods, they sign agreements saying they would sell

these goods at predetermined high prices. Naturally, because of this, there is a surplus of high stock. This is when wholesalers can then buy these products off

these suppliers for a lower price so that A, these companies can earn some money back, and B, these companies don't break the contract by selling them below the RRP. This is known as the grey market. This business strategy has seen to a larger degree... It's known as the what, sorry, Pete? Just the grey market. Oh, the grey market, sorry. This business strategy has been

seen to a larger degree within the luxury watch industry where luxury watches have been sold online for a fraction of their RRP as luxury stores across the UK are scared of breaking

their contract but are unable to shift those watches so they've been selling them to big online wholesalers. Get us a bloody Rolex, Cain! Yeah, you know a lot about this.

Get us, hook us up with a Rolex, mate. That's fascinating to me. So to protect their contract, and I guess to protect the integrity of the brand itself, they have to almost grey market sell them on to get any money back because they can't sell them. That's mad.

Yeah, big watch retail manufacturer Richemont have gone out and bought every single one of their watches sold here and processed them to destroy every single one of them. This has resulted in the loss of £421 million worth of watches just to preserve the perceived brand value of their watches. I mean, that is ridiculous. Is that true? It's all a house of cards, isn't it?

It's the only reason why they're so expensive. Same with spectacles. There's only one game in town, Luxottica, I think, on all of the spectacles. It's got a mass monopoly. You've got market forces you know, market forces. So you're taking a £421 million step back to go forward?

Yeah, usually. It's a gamble. It's a gamble, Donny. Yeah, but when your whole brand is built on prestige, that's what you're trading on,

isn't it? Kane's busted that myth wide open. Kane's busted that wide open. Hashtag, get us a Rolex, Kane. My Rolexes are fake. I am an owner of a fairly expensive watch,

which I saved up for ages to buy I'm not wearing it at the moment don't look at my wrist I was like is it too hot because your watch

is a beast no it's not because it's too hot it's because when I work it's a metal it's got a metal what's it called

it's metal but it's got a leather strap but it clunks on my laptop a lot and I've noticed that it gets a little bit damaged so I'm only saving it for decent occasions now.

Fethels. Yeah. So I don't even wear mine every day. There you go. What about that? Fascinating stuff. Thanks, Kane. Yeah.

What about this one, Peter? We've got time for this one, I think, from Chris Gower. Gower. Who is a photographer and videographer at chrisgower.com. I think I pulled this one out as well because I was quite excited by it. So well done, the Gower man. Yeah. Well done, Gower.

You ticked both boxes there. You wouldn't call your baby Chris these days, would you? Chris the baby. It's Chris's christening. We're going to call him Chris, Chris, Christopherson. Yeah, you just wouldn't do that. It's so weird to me how that's happened. But again, it's just the shortening of the name, isn't it?

I didn't realise that people were actually born as John instead of Jonathan. I find that very strange. John the baby. He's going to do your fucking drywall. As a baby? Yeah. Don't you think it's odd? He's installing a sump pump in your cellar. We live in a world, Pete,

I think I'm right in saying, where it would be less odd to call your baby Apple than it would be to odd to call your baby... Apple. Than it would be to call it David. Yeah. Well, you know, but we've, as a country, I think, we don't go to church anymore.

And we're enjoying the freedom of not having to use biblical names. There's a Fox News rant. Yeah. Put the school back in Christianity. Yeah? I think it's the other way around. And put the burrito back next to your testicle where it belongs.

I think people should do that fast food integrity test. Why? Because I want. Anyway, what were we talking about? Oh, yes, Chris Gower. Chris Gower has been in touch with a lovely email, which I've titled. You know I like to give these emails titles to help myself.

Look, I'm not a very good broadcaster. I need aid memoirs all over the gaff. And for this one, I've called, Reading Festival and Jackass Combined to Make for Queasy Reading. Chris Gower says, All right, chaps, you imagine doing a festival with two broken arms comment. Reminded me of the second Reading Festival

I went to in 2001. First of all, Pete, were you there? Yes, I was. I think it was Marilyn Manson,

Eminem, the Mad Caddies, a real big fish, Strokes. I think 2001 is the one I went to for the day which had an amazing day

where it was Strokes, the White Stripes, the Dandy Warhols, and I think Pulp on one day. Were Pulp a concern in 2001? They were. Well, they were big. They were second headlines, I think, on that day. Were they? Yeah, I think so. I'm not a big Pulp man, but I just remember it. I'm a big Pulp man, but I don't remember it. Anyway,

what was I going to say? 2004. Who headlined Reading Friday Night 2004? No, 2007, sorry. 2007. That's a bit of a change. Sorry? 2004. Who headlined Reading Friday night, 2004? No, 2007, sorry. 2007. That's a bit of a change. Sorry. 2007.

Who headlined Friday night at Reading Festival? So Sunday night always used to be the punk type night. The rock night, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. It started to blur a little bit by this point, to be honest. Friday. Okay, can you give me a clue? They will not be headlining... Lost Profits.

Lost Profits. They probably played, to be honest. It was Razorlight. Imagine that. How quickly things change. Indie landfill. There was a saying in the music industry about firework bands.

Yeah. And that's what Razorlight basically were. Yeah. Explode. Gone. Almost literally gone. were about firework bands yeah and that's what Razor basically were yeah explode gone almost literally gone Razor

there was a poster someone sent around to me the other day and it was a 90s revival weekender and it's bands

like I mean it wasn't even I mean when I say 90s revival and no disrespect to these bands because I used to quite like a lot of

them when I was a kid but I'm talking the level we're talking about here Pete is like cast space salad yeah that type of stuff and no disrespect to these bands because I used to quite like a lot of them when I was a kid but I'm talking the level we're talking about here Pete is like cast

space salad yeah that sort of stuff down the bottom second from opener in a 90s revival weekender Razorlight

yeah Razorlight yeah they did a lot of them I think that might have been not even a 90s band that might have been Shine On or maybe Starship

or maybe there's loads of them now loads of 90s revival This is your wheelhouse. As the voice of Absolute Radio 90s. Oh shit, have I recorded? Yeah, good. Shit, have I recorded today's show? It's all good. Chris Gower. We're back in 2001, Pete.

We're in Reading in the beautiful rural county of Berkshire. Mere days before September 11th. Yeah, it would be. And a particular incident that summer Chris says not September 11th

that led to one of my friends turning up to the festival walking wounded aged 16 and 17 in 2001 we had been truly caught up on the CKY jackass fervour

that was gripping England I remember it well and a group of my friends and I used that summer and our parents old VHS camcorders to film our own versions.

Never do that. I mean, it says at the beginning, don't do that. As aspiring and utterly useless skateboarders, the idea of fannying around doing stupid stunts seemed a lot more achievable than learning to do anything more than an ollie on our skateboards. While most of our stunts led to awkward video footage of us hilariously waxing up toboggans

and slowly shuffling down grassy mounds in the woods woods one friend lacked the sheltered suburban risk-averse mindsets of the rest of us and decided to skate behind a friend's voxel nova as it turned out and by the way i don't know where chris is from he doesn't say but this is so funny because i was i'm slightly older than chris and so are you pete but this is fairly identical to exactly what we used to get up to in our town, down to the finest detail, a couple of my friends being shit skateboarders

and one of them having a Vauxhall Nova. Anyway, as it turned out, clinging onto a rope attached to the back of a car doing 20 miles an hour riding a Toys R Us skateboard is quite hard. And I can still picture the moment

the board's wobble got too much of him and he planted his foot on the quickly disappearing ground head butted the back of the car then the ground bounced a few times before rolling an emotionless heap next to the curb smashing

miraculously he avoided any breaks but he did knock himself unconscious and tear open several large gashes up and down his body with a particularly monstrous open abscess on his left

hip about the size of a mini disc I'm keeping my references era specific he said to cut a long story short Reading Festival was the following weekend tickets were a lofty 80 quid and you had to buy them from hmv and he attended complete with his horrible weeping open wounds as we spent most of the time in the heaving relentless circle and mosh pit that was the punk tent he ended up having to retire to the medical tent every couple of hours or so to replace the bandages that had been smeared off

onto some unfortunate punk in the mosh pit. He also needed to self-medicate thoroughly throughout the festival to keep the pain at bay. Not quite two broken arms, but a lot messier. And as a side note, Chris says, during my Reading Festival in 2000, I ended up accompanying my 16-year-old best mate to the medical tent after he began puking up his stomach lining

because he bought a crate of special brew, thinking it was what proper drinkers drank, and found myself sat next to a boy, listen to this, with a smashed up face who had been hit by Matt Bellamy from Muse's guitar. Wow. In the early days of Muse, apparently, he had a real tendency of just spinning around with his guitar and letting it go. He confirmed that the guitar had been retrieved by his friends

who left him in a heap on the floor because it was probably worth a fair bit of money. He says, I also have a wealth of other stories, but I won't go into them because they're not suitable, especially with my last name attached. That's Chris Gower. Chris Gower. That's the thing that if you're jumping around at a festival,

your arms are down, so you can't protect yourself from any errant Bellamy guitars. I used to get right amongst it when I was a kid at gigs. Right down there. Yeah I bet you were a

nightmare because you're a big tall boy. Yeah I used to, the most recent time I did that was at Japan Draws and I felt like a teenager again. That was about ten

years ago now. I think the last time I did it was I don't know, I don't know. It was probably Bouncing Souls in 2007. You can't do it anymore because you've got the sunburn problem.

I would not like to be in a mosh pit right now. Have you been to the doctor about that? No. You should really go to the doctor. Why? It looks worse today than it did the other day. It's just scabbing up. I just need to let it scab up.

But you're not a doctor. I am a doctor. No doctor's going to say... Technically, I am a doctor, Luke. Imagine if you went into a hospital with your leg hanging off and the doctor

you just need to scab up scab over there we go I think that's probably just about as much time as we have although the emails

have been of amazing standard recently so do keep them coming they really have we've got a bit of a backlog we're going to pile through those

but still keep sending them in because we will get to them hello at lukeandpete show.com is your destination for that and if you like the show this is really important

if you're listening right through to the end do tell your friends about the show if you like it and help us to spread the word or we'll gash you

or review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods either work why not do both yeah cheers for that Peter we'll see you again

I'll see you again next time fucking sphincter that peter we'll see you again i'll see you again next time you