The Luke and Pete Show - Episode 84: Do you keep those spider monkeys in a van?

Episode Date: July 26, 2018

Why is Sir Paul McCartney so odd? And, while we're at it, why is Ringo Starr also so odd? Any advice greatly appreciated. This time around, we break bread over the differences between the Japanese and Korean languages, marvel at possibly the worst job interview experience of all time, hear a Mencarta, and find out that, in the 70s, people that used to go door-to-door selling spider monkeys. Yes, really.To tell us of your worst ever job interview experiences, or anything else for that matter: [e-mail]***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Who bestank? Nor do I. Was it Chubby Checker? Might be, actually. Was it? Do you remember, um, welcome to the Luke and Pete show, everyone. I'm just going to get straight into it. Do you remember late 80s slash early 90s where there was this... Robbie Coltrane, Tutti Frutti, no? There was this re-release of all these types of songs in almost like a super mix version, Jive Bunny version.

Jive Bunny, yeah. Uh, uh, uh. Uh, uh, uh. I love that video. So much Rick Petit. The stop motion animation. Yeah. Uh, uh, uh. I love that video so much the stop motion animation yeah

that was Jackie Wilson wasn't it yes wonderful what a voice a fantastic voice but there was a weird situation

where I can't remember the year exactly late 80s like I say early 90s come on everybody yeah

they were remixing all these classic songs and putting them into one dance track guys I can't help but think that some copyright expired and they just thought fuck it just do it because you're not making any if you're spending all that money on samples you're not making any i'll tell you who's big into copyright extension paul mccartney and then is he yeah

all of those are to be honest it's a fair point though because i mean you're staring down i mean paul mccartney's made nowhere near enough money. No, but no, it is a fair point given he has written all these songs and they're going to go out into the ether for everyone to have for nothing. I think that's fine, but I think songs released in the 1930s, there needs to be a limit. There just needs to be a limit. What's your cut-off? 100 years.

100 years. But that's what McCartney's asking for, isn't it? At the moment, it's 50, I think. Right. And it might have been extended slightly, but it's nowhere near 100. How old is Paul McCartney? Who knows, isn't it? At the moment, it's 50, I think. Right. And it might have been extended slightly, but it's nowhere near 100. How old is Paul McCartney? Who knows? Well, he's replaced.

He could go on to live to another 50, I'd say. Excuse me, Mr. McCartney. Sir Paul, how old are you planning to live for? Yeah. I wonder how much money he's given in alimony to, not Stella McCartney. Linda McCartney was the one, but she passed away, sadly.

Money's no use to her we're talking about the woman he who married I can't remember her name now what was her name what was her name she notably had

one leg I'm still typing Paul McCartney's wife Paul McCartney's wife she was called Heather Mills Heather Mills Heather McCartney

he's married Nancy Sheville he's been married to her since 2011 now so he's very happy. Good for him, Paul. Well done, Paul.

He's always, remember when he did that really embarrassing thing where he said come on and he started doing like a Jamaican kind of accent?

No. It was wonderful. Ringo Starr does a good line. Every time you see Ringo Starr on the internet or on TV, he says peace and

love, peace and love, peace and love, peace and love. That's all he ever says love, peace and love, peace and love. That's all he ever says. What are you doing looking at that Paul McCartney thing now? Yeah, it was a Jamaican, he did a Jamaican accent. It was like a, it was like a Meat Free Mondays and it was an urgent call to action from him and he just.

Hi there, Paul speaking. Listen, I need your help. He's in this garden. All I want you to do is just log in on pledge.meetfreemondays.com and pledge your support to the idea of Meat Free Mondays. All you need to do, I need your help. Please do it. We'll send all these pledges to the politicians,

and then they'll do something about it. So I need your help. Please just log in, pledge.meetFreeMondays, or one word,.com. Pledge.MeetFreeMondays.com. All right, Paul. All right, Paul, that's enough. Pledge.MeetFreeMondays.com. Pledge.MeetFreeMondays.com.

It's the accent. You can do it right now, please. What the hell is that? You can do it right now, please. I was about to say to you, what's happened to his voice anyway? You can do it right now, please. That's unbelievable. That what's happened to his voice anyway you can do it right now please that's unbelievable

that passed me by how long ago was that 1964 three years ago what's happened to your voice what happens to people's voices particularly in the area of entertainment

when they become really successful because it happened to Arctic Monkeys Alex Turner as well he's still got a bit of a he's still got a Sheffield twang. He must have been taking a piss, but when he... So it's Arks, Lyle is...

But when he headlined Glastonbury, well, they headlined Glastonbury, they played a song or whatever, and when he addressed the crowd for the first time, it was almost like he went, how you're feeling, Glastonbury? Like a Joff Stone type guy. Do you remember Joff Stone?

She was a bad one. She was a bad one. She was a bad one. Although, if you look back at it, it's not that bad. What, Joss Stone? It's not as bad as you remember, to be honest. But, yeah, he does have a bit of a shot of light. You know, all right. He wants to be like John Cooper Clarke, I think.

Yeah. They were very good on Nozzle Life Festival. Well, God, here we go again. We can't get away from it. We started off last show talking about Elvis. Now we're talking about Sir Paul McCartney. Well, God, here we go again. We can't get away from it. We started off last show talking about Elvis. Now we're talking about Sir Paul McCartney.

Obrigado. So you get to saying Obrigado. Obrigado versus Obrigada. If you're female, you say Obrigada. If you're male, you say Obrigado.

What happens now when gender fluidity comes into play? Here we go. Is that going to kill that? I don't know. Find out in Pete's Daily Mail column on Monday.

Is that going to kill gendered words? Pres know. Find out in Pete's Daily Mail column on Monday. Is that going to kill gendered words? Presumably it will. Is it to address people? No, it's not. No, it's if you are male, I believe. You just choose then,

don't you? Just choose. Yeah, but you don't believe in either. Take your pick. Obrigados. Yeah, obrigado. They'll have to make

a non-gender specific. I just think it's going to tie deep language and anything that improves my ability to learn a language, I'm fucking all for. So there you go. How's your Korean and Japanese coming along? I've learned a few Korean words for my holiday.

Give us some. The usual classic, where's the toilet? Hwang shi ri oh ye yo. How similar is it to Japanese? It's very different. It's more Chinese, I think. But it's... Are they rooted in the same format? Well, Korean have a different different. It's more Chinese, I think. But it's... Are they rooted in the same sort of format?

Yeah, I was like... Well, Korean have a different... Hangul was only invented, I think, the writing system in 1960-odd, I think. Oh, really? To kind of tidy it all up. Most modern kind of Japanese languages and stuff, Japanese alphabets and stuff,

they were invented to just tidy shit up, really, because you couldn't rely on the Chinese characters. Simplified form. Yeah. Going back to Paul McCartney, do, because you couldn't rely on the Chinese characters. Simplified form. Going back to Paul McCartney, do you think when you get into a situation... Do you think he can read Hangul? Possible. But when you get into the level of that sort of fame, and your life

is so much different to anyone else, do you reckon you sort of lose your anchor a little bit? You don't really know what's what. Oh, hugely, yeah. Because you're living such a different life to essentially 99. You don't really know what's what. Oh, hugely, yeah. Yeah, because you're living such a different life to essentially 99.9% of the rest of the world.

It's very different. I sometimes wonder whether people who essentially do ill-advised things like McCartney's done in that video you've shown there or say stupid stuff,

I wonder whether we're actually a bit too harsh on them because they have no, nothing to base it on, really. I mean, since 1962 or whatever, Paul McCartney's life has been mad, completely mad

hugely so yeah same with footballers same with anyone in the public eye well you say that about footballers do you remember that documentary

where David Beckham went into the jungle in South America with some of his pals and he basically said he found it very hard to make friends he can't make any friends

because he doesn't know what their agenda is so he can't meet anyone new really unless they're someone who has been vouched for by someone else or they're also famous yeah because he doesn't know what their agenda is. Yeah. So he can't meet anyone new, really, unless they're someone who has been vouched for by someone else. Or they're also famous. Yeah, basically, yeah.

Because the people he was hanging out with in that documentary, a couple of them were dickheads. But you thought, well, he's got no choice. Yeah. At least he knows they're genuine friends, right? Yeah. And that means a lot to someone like him. Usually.

McCartney would be the same. Yeah. I mean, again, I think men like that are a bit of an island. I think people like that are a bit of an island. It's very difficult to... No man is an island, Pete. No man is an island. You'll be like that.

You'll probably be like that now. Look at you then with sunglasses on in the studio because you forgot your prescriptions again. I didn't forget them. I thought, you know what? Last Rambler of the Season, fuck it. Living it up. Everybody living it up.

And it is very hot in here, so... It is. Sweaty bodies. Shall we do some emails, of course? Fuck no. Well, listen, we are going to do some emails, Pete, because that's the way of the world. That's the way it works.

For those of you who are not regular listeners to the show, shame on you, but there's time to fix that. We do normally now have a little breaky, have a little break, and then we talk about emails afterwards. So, Pete, take it away. Brilliant. Hey, y'all, it's Farmer Meemaw,

and today I'm going to show you what I've been doing about emails afterwards so pete take it away brilliant hey y'all it's farmer me mine today i'm going to show you what i've been doing to take care of the pantry moth situation pantry moths big problem they are and you know what i went to uh pick up uh my my lovely wife had a few dresses altered at the dry cleaners oh no they also do tailoring and when i went in there to pick them up um there was a big sign there saying, advertising a new product, saying this product's called WMD and it was a weapon of moth destruction. I believe I bought a pack of that.

Did you? I bought a smoke bomb version of it. I've not set it off yet. Your flat's too small for that. You could have did the whole house by accident. I don't mind. I need the whole house. The moths are everywhere.

You've got problems, have you? Driving mad. Absolutely mad. We've spoken whole house. The moths are everywhere. You've got problems, have you? Driving mad. Absolutely mad. We've spoken about this before, but they are little bastards. We have a lot of flies in our house.

Yeah. No flies on me, mate. Just moths. No, yeah. The first email, Pete, is from a very dear listener to us,

George. George. And he says, good evening, guys. I'd love an update on Pete's dog allergy, dander under the tongue situation. Best, George. Do you want to fill people Pete's dog allergy, dander under the tongue situation.

Best, George. Do you want to fill people in on the background of that and let us know what's happening with it? I would like a dog, so I've taken to get involved in a little bit of immunology, they call it. So I've been spraying dog dander and also dust mite essence under my tongue

every morning and night for a little while. It's a reassuringly expensive treatment. Because you're allergic to dogs currently? Yes, allergic to to dogs and dust mites but the dogs carry dust mites so um i've not been great at keeping up with putting them every morning and night but i've been i've been busy uh but i did buy a little mini fridge uh to keep the um to keep the medicine in that i put in my bedroom so that i am so i I remember to do it. So I've got to take my asthma medication in the morning

and also take this. And how long have you been doing it for? Yeah, I think, yeah. And how long do you have to do it for? About 18 months, apparently. And it works?

Apparently, it's your best shout. And do, how much does it cost? No, I don't know what you're getting at. Come on. It's more expensive

than a armpit lasering. Was it more expensive than the armpit lasers? Less expensive than the top-of-the-range MacBook. Okay. We're talking big than a armpit lasering. Was it more expensive than the armpit lasers? Less expensive than the top-of-the-range MacBook. Okay. We're talking big figures. Big bucks, yeah. Big bucks.

It's rare, isn't it? But as we all know, listeners to this show will know, Pete is a man of considerable means. No, not anymore. I hope that answers your question, George. I think when we get the payoff, finally, when Pete does, in fact, get himself a dog, like Jeff Goldblum in the fly but a more

PG rated version so you won't have to fast your parents won't have to fast forward any of the action we'll get the payoff won't we yeah perhaps you can bring the dog in I'd love a

dog in here I'd love an office dog that'd be great wouldn't it that'd be great there's a friend of mine worked for a production company out in the west country and they had an office dog and I think you should just take turns taking it for walks and stuff.

Beautiful. Lovely stuff. What a way to clear your head. Yeah, lovely. I've got an email here, Pete, about... Well, listen, you've got two choices. I've got door-to-door selling spider monkeys, which I know is something you're interested in. Nice.

And I've also got the worst job interview of all time. Have we spoke about door to door selling spider monkeys because I believe the

who's the fellow who went to British Guyana Jim Jones I think Jim Jones used to sell monkeys door to door

I think you said that in a few episodes ago no I didn't actually I think you said a few episodes ago that in the 80s you could just go into a pet shop

and buy a monkey oh yeah you could definitely do that sailors used to have them in the northeast. There was a lot of monkeys in people's houses in like Sunderland and stuff. That's mad, isn't it? Mad, isn't it? I think of now.

It's fantastic. You'd probably get quite a heavy punishment for doing that these days, no? Yeah, you can get a license, though. You could have a little run out the back. But the reason I included the job interview one is because I think that's something that everyone can relate to, and I certainly can, and I'll tell you why later. So people can get involved at hello at LukeandPete show.com if they've had a terrible job

interview experience. But if you want to do an email first Pete you're welcome to do so. No, no, no. Do yours. What? Job interview? Yeah. Okay, fine. We'll do Spider Monkey in a minute. So this is from Craig who says, hi guys, I thought I would drop you an email about a job interview I had that went a bit wrong. It was to become a trainee civil engineer.

It's a long story so I will bullet point the main aspects. I quite like the format of this. Took the afternoon off to attend the interview. That's bullet point one. Already annoyed about it. Yeah, bullet point two. Called at shop and decided to buy a new pair of shoes. Right. For the interview. Diligent.

A gamble because of blisters. Point number three. Popped new shoes on and threw old shoes in the bin. Right. Point number three. Popped new shoes on and threw old shoes in the bin. Right. Point number four. I was early, so I decided to walk to the venue, which was a few miles away. Point five. Shoes were hurting me, so I decided to get a taxi.

Point six. Asked the taxi to drop me off at the Belmont Industrial Estate. Seven. Got out and realised I should have been at Belmont Business Park. Oh no. Eight. Had to walk a mile with no should have been at Belmont Business Park. Oh no. Eight. Had to walk a mile with no

shoes on to get to the right place. Nine. Found building, told the woman outside I was here for a job

interview. Ten. She took me inside, complaining the boss had called in sick and had not told her

I was coming. Eleven. Sat around for ages while her and her colleagues quickly threw together some interview questions.

Jesus Christ. Twelve. Though it was strange when they were asking me more about photocopying than making tea than my design capabilities, but 25 minutes into the interview, I realised I was at the wrong company. Oh no! And I was supposed to be on the first floor.

Point twelve or whatever it is. They took me up and explained this to the other employer what had happened, while telling me there was a job waiting for me here if I don't get that one. tea presumably oh fantastic uh number 13 had a real interview number 14 had no money left so walked back to durham with no shoes on number 15 got offered the job number 16 turned it down as the pay rise was not very good and number 17 it was a massive waste of time thanks for reading craig um have there. The last time you had a job interview

must have been a long time ago. Yeah, it was. I don't think I'd ever failed one, though, to be honest. I'm pretty interviewable. I think I am as well. But it's something that unites us all, isn't it?

Oh, hugely. Yeah, I know. I didn't ever particularly get too nervous, but I remember once I was at university in Surrey and obviously lived in the South Coast. And this was a bit about 2002-ish. And I... Do you remember back in the day, Pete,

like around the sort of advent of the internet, people were like, you'd chuck your CV up on Monster or whatever it is, whatever those sort of really fledgling sites were, right? And I did that and I never got anything back. And I remember wanting to work in either in TV or film or radio, all that kind of stuff. But I had no experience at all.

I'd just done a qualification. Chuck my CV in, and I never got any joy. But then once, I got an email back, like no word of a lie, from I think the BFI, or something like that,

saying, oh Luke, we liked your CV or whatever, we like your enthusiastic covering letter, would you like to come up for an interview? And I had no, obviously no links in London or anything. So I thought,

yeah, okay, fine. So the interview was, and I didn't want to tell them that I didn anything. So I was like, yeah, okay, fine. So the interview was, and I didn't want to tell them that I didn't have accommodation in London. So they said,

can you come up at nine o'clock? Yeah. No, I think it was 10 o'clock and that would involve me getting like a two hour train from Portsmouth and eventually I would have found

accommodation I suppose but anyway, I didn't have any. So I got this ferry across the Portsmouth Harbour at like 6.30 in the morning, got a train up. They were based on Great Marlborough Street, right?

But she had told me that on the phone, and I thought she said Great Margaret Street. Right. Which Margaret Street is a different road, right? And there was no internet on my phone or anything. I didn't have a smartphone. I just had this map, this one map. So I thought, right, I'll have the market street area.

We're just of that particular part of central London, Bloomsbury or whatever. I thought on the train, I'll check on the map and I'll have loads of time to kill. So I'll just work out what I'm going to do, my route and stuff. I don't know anything about London. Got to,

um, got to London, couldn't, and on the map, I couldn't find it or anything. So I was walking up and down, um, great Marlborough street, but trying to find it. And it was like, I couldn't find it anywhere. And I end up, but I was walking up and down Great Marlborough Street trying to find it

and it was like I couldn't find it anywhere and I end up but I got to the point where it was I got to cut a long story short I was so late

that it probably would have been better just not to turn up because it was like it was the start of the summer I was sweating I was just out of uni so the start of the summer I was sweating

I had been into several pubs asking people to help me find Great Margaret Street which doesn't exist and these people, obviously these are the type of people that are in the pub during the day by this point it was about 11.30 in the morning You're just starting to be really kind of like

panicky and sad I turned up and looking back on it now, nothing had become nothing could be clearer, there was no way that I couldn't even, if I couldn't even find my way to an office, I wasn't getting the job. But to be fair,

they diligently went for the interview with me. And then I think they probably just put the letter out straight away. The letter probably got home before I did. And needless to say, I did not get the job. Oh, that's sad. I don't like that feeling.

That sinking feeling where you're like, oh, fuck. Most people must have a story better than that. Hello, lucarpeach.com. What's your worst interview story, Pete? Well, I tried to get on the JET program,

which is the Japanese English teaching program, when I was 22, and I muffed up the interview. I was so shy and insular. What did you do? That would have gone down well, wouldn't it, in Japan? Well, I couldn't speak in front of people. I was just absolutely petrified of speaking in front of people. And, yeah, it was pretty miserable all told.

I hadn't slept because I was so nervous the night before. I went out to London from Leicester and got there in good time and just stacked it.

Absolutely stacked it. I thought you said you were fairly interviewable. Yeah, but that was very much outside my wheelhouse. Yeah, fair. And also,

I was just with a lot of precautious children basically, a lot of precocious children, basically. A lot of precocious youngsters going, hi, it's me. I'm going to teach your kids shit.

Meh, meh, meh. And you're like, oh, fuck off. And what were you like? I'm Pete. I was like, hi, I'm Pete. I like how Paul's

brought on her. I'm so nervous. And eating frozen sausages straight out of the bin. A little bit. A little nervous boy. Sorry, are frozen sausages available in Japan?

Bless you, Pete. But there is a big difference between getting an interview for a Saturday job or doing something like that and actually working full-time at a job you care about. Oh, huge. And that's when the nerves start to hit you hard, huh? Definitely, definitely. All right, what have you got next?

I've got an email about what's for Ewan. It's quite a long one, but you could probably loosely deem this a Mankata. Do you want the stab? Bang it out. Bang it out. Where is it? Let there be justice for all.

Let there be peace for all. It's one small step for man. You don't understand. Willie was a salesman. Say simply, very simply, with hope, good morning. And a good morning to you. Did we ever talk about the Neil Armstrong line when he got on the moon for the first time and how he got it wrong? No.

So there's two things I learned about it. One was that they hadn't had any real planning for who was going to be the first person to walk on the moon until like the day of it or something when they realised that Neil Armstrong would be nearest to the door

so he would be first that was like the extent of the planning and I think he was supposed to say it's one small step for a man and one giant leap

for mankind but I think he stumbled and it became even more iconic but it was a complete accident wonderful I like that

it was like that Yuri Gagarin one we used on the Ramble World Cup coverage Poyekile yeah and it was well they expected him to say

something really profound but he just went let's go let's go I love that just get down to business fucking do it we do get a lot of criticism

on iTunes and our reviews for being like old people who can't remember the things they've said and they haven't so we've probably mentioned both those things probably who cares though Pete who cares we're the lords of said and they haven't. So we've probably mentioned both those things. Probably. Who cares though, Pete?

Who cares? We're the lords of our own destiny. Get with it, guys. Hello to Ewan on the emails. I mean, I say this is a Men Carter entry. It's very much somebody has a mausoleum. And I've mentioned before, I went to Chairman Mausoleum.

Missed opportunity. Could have called it a mausoleum. Unbelievable. They should have done. One letter. I know. One letter change. Ridiculous.

I just thought I'd drop you a line about the Lennon Mausoleum unbelievable one letter I know one letter change ridiculous I just thought I'd drop you a line about the Lenin mausoleum in Red Square I got to visit it while out in Russia for the World Cup obviously a big

tourist attraction this is from Ewan Flynn good friend he's a good lad lovely you might remember it featuring in the Simpsons episode

where Lenin comes back to life after the revelation that the Soviet Union has been playing rope-a-dope with the West and is back to crush capitalism

at the same time Homer has been sacked by Mr-dope with the West and is back to crush capitalism. At the same time, Homer has been sacked by Mr Burns and joins the Naval Reserve. It's a great episode. I don't remember that one, but it sounds good. Anyway, I thought of the story of how Lenin has been kept looking so box-fresh nearly 100 years on from his death in 1924 might be of some interest. Initially, a four-day funeral had been planned and he's temporarily embalmed, enabling mourners to pay their respects. However, after nearly two months and no sign of the crowd subsiding,

it was decided that rather bury Lenin in accordance with his wishes, instead the body should be preserved permanently. I remember, I obviously don't remember it at the time, but I remember learning about it at school. Rather than freezing the body, a pioneering embalming technique using a cocktail of chemicals was devised. Before this could be done, however, the black spots that had started to appear

on his skin had to be addressed. So science spent several months bleaching the corpse before embalming the great man. All Lenin's organs were removed and his brain was packed off to the Russian Academy for neurologists to fathom his extraordinary abilities. The mausoleum is now open five days a week

and visitors go through the airport star security before entry. Inside they are constantly watched by stern guards who prevent any photography talking or wear stale hands in pockets. As well as special lighting and temperature controls inside the tomb there is a lab under the mausoleum where a group of scientists take the Bolshevik leader every 18

months for a freshen up, even replacing the odd bits of skin with plastic. His eyelashes too have been replaced with synthetics, apparently. An estimated annual cost of all of this is around £160,000. These experts, known as the Lenin Lab, have also applied their techniques to other historical giants. Stalin was displayed next to Lenin initially upon his death until Khrushchev, with very good reason,

embarked on a period of de-Stalinisation. The Kim Boys from North Korea and the Vietnamese leader Ho Chi Minh have received a full Lenin lab treatment. Presumably the FA have also made inquiries

to Gareth Southgate because he can win the World Cup. This is obviously before we went out. So yeah, keep the great work. Thank you Ewan

for that wonderful email about Lenin's face. Do it on Southgate anyway. The only thing I remember learning about Lenin... Oh, it looks like he's already had it. He has done, yeah. You wouldn't begate anyway the only thing I remember learning about Lenin Putin looks like he's

already had it he has done I wouldn't be surprised the only thing I remember learning about Lenin in that context Pete at school was that

I don't know if it's true based on what you said there maybe not but there were three different bodies and only one of them was the real Lenin

to stop for security reasons so you never actually knew whether you saw the real one or not but I don't know if that's true Saddam Hussein

remember Saddam Hussein's lookalikes they were freed if you're a dictator you're going to have to get yourself some lookalikes I mean it's part of it it's part of the costume

it's along with like naming the days of the week after yourself risky skill though risky business risky business before I move on to this spider monkey email

much promised and thank you very much for that Ewan did you read the story in the news maybe last week about this village in Wales that's got 20 different spellings of it? And so they can't settle on a way of spelling it to put on all the signs.

Right, okay. It's this village called Trellick in Wales. Right. And it's got upwards of 20 historical spellings, and four of them are currently still in regular use. So it's like, I won't spell them all out, but it's obviously like double L and one L.

Yeah, yeah. And they can't work out what they want to do and they're going to have to put it to the local council or whatever. And the one thing that's quite funny is that this story I read, you know when journalists put together stories and it's like a quirky type of thing and they have to find someone for a quote.

I mean, it's not really a story about a quote, right? It's just like a PR release, I suppose. They found this guy called Professor Howl Wynne Owen, who works for Bangor University, former director of the Place Name Research Centre. What a job that is. I mean, what a job. So who knows what they're going to do.

But apparently the Met Office uses the unofficial Trelec with the CK, as does Royal Mail. But maybe, I think some of themfficial Trelec with the CK, as does Royal Mail. But maybe, I think some of them want to go back to the Welsh band. But anyway, Spider Monkeys, Peter.

This is from Paddy. Sorry, why don't they just have a vote on the players' names and then, you know, if three tie for the win. Just got to call it

Trelec, Trelec, Trelec. Trelec Cubed. Trelec Cubed, yeah. This one's from Paddy in Dublin. He says, Hi Luke and Pete in episode 80 Pete said

back in the 70s oh it was the 70s apparently people would just go to a pet shop and buy a monkey well this reminded me of a story I heard

about Jim Jones of Jonestown Massacre during the 70s and just when he was starting to gain his cult following he needed some money to fund his endeavours

so he did what every normal man would do in that situation and decided to go door to door selling spider monkeys. There is even a clip in the documentary about the Jonestown Massacre of a woman retelling the story of how her mother,

who was one of the first followers, met Jim Jones. This was because her monkey had hung itself and she wanted a new one so she bought it from him. What a depressing story. That is depressing. I want another monkey. You got yourself a monkey as a pet, depressing. It hung itself, Even more depressing.

You bought the replacement from a man who's famous for massacring a load of people. I hope that the monkey hung itself with its prehensile tail. Probably did. Paddy says, I know Jim wasn't the nicest of fellows, but if you can make a monkey want to hang itself, I'm not so sure she should have a second one. But then again, I don't

think that was the worst thing that Jim Jones ever did. No. It wasn't he said mother please that's what he says at the end when everyone's dying and you hear all the kids crying

he's like he goes mother mother when he's got I think his wife is a dissenting voice in the let's kill everyone

final solution he's like mother mother please no mother mother wow he's mad I've seen the documentary

but I don't remember too much about it but how would you go door to door they would fuck everything yeah that's obviously part of it isn't it

Pete I reckon he did I'm just saying but you're whispering it means people are still going to hear it there's no one else in the room

I hate to besmirch the good name of Jim Jones yeah you might have a sex with a monkey you're never alone when there's a microphone

in front of you probably give him a brain worm I've got more of a sort of logistical question right does he have a load with a monkey you're never alone when there's a microphone in front of you probably give him a brain worm I've got more of a sort of logistical question does he have a load of spider monkeys with him because I had a job

door to door selling once and you had to carry all the stock with you oh so like the cat lady at the Simpsons just throwing cats just throwing monkeys posting monkeys

to the letterbox just going here's the head collect the rest of the bits and back in those days they used to people used to go door to door

to collect the money right so Danny Baker has back in those days, people used to go door to door to collect the money, right? So Danny Baker tells a brilliant story in one of his memoirs about his dad who used to buy everything on HP, like a high purchase, and then he would just come up with the most unbelievable reasons to not be in when the guy came around to collect the money. So imagine people rocking up

for monkey payments. It'd be crazy. Also, what do you feed them? Just fruit, I suppose. What, monkeys? They eat anything. But you shouldn't be giving them anything, though. My'd be crazy. Incredible. Also, what do you feed them? Just fruit, I suppose. What, monkeys? They eat anything. But you shouldn't be giving them anything, though. My cats eat anything. If you're selling monkeys, I don't think you're really that arsed

about their welfare. You're selling them to literally anyone. Yeah, true. I just want to know if it's regulated. There used to be dolphins in a... I've probably spoken about this before, in Oxford Street. There used to be a bar slash sexy nightclub

that had dolphins in a big tank. Isn't it so funny how life's moved on from all that stuff? Hugely, hugely. Because har street used to be a bar slash sexy nightclub that had dolphins in a big tank isn't it so funny how life's moved on from all that usually because harrah's used to be well known for that whole anything yeah that was their thing wasn't it you could buy anything there and there'll be like tigers on the roof and all that kind of stuff yeah but isn't it so funny how we've moved on from that to the extent where when you see if you catch an episode on comedy central or whatever of friends and he's got his monkey it just looks weird it's like you shouldn't be doing that

I think even then it was a bit like what the fuck why did he have a monkey was it ever explained because he was quirky and wacky and great bought off Jim Jones

that's what I had yeah because he bought off Jim Jones that was a really old monkey Paddy finishes the email Pete I'm not sure there's any interest in this from your point okay

he says also in one of the first episodes of this podcast you were talking about funny place names funny place names. Funny place names. We just talked about one there, Trellick.

Banner. And I had to bring up one you never discussed, which is a place in Donegal, in Ireland, called Muff. Muff. Now,

this is funny in its own right, but to make it even better, Muff is a town on the coast of the Atlantic Ocean. So there is a scuba diving club called the Muff Diving Club. Oh, come on.

I checked it out and they have done a pretty, I mean, it's I checked it out, and they have done a pretty, I mean, it's quite distasteful, but they've done a pretty good effort in cashing in on that. There's so much merchandise you can buy. The website's actually quite swept up. Muff merch. Yeah, Muff Diving Worldwide.

Muff Diving Worldwide, fantastic. There you go, Paddy. Obviously, County Donegal, the home of Brian Freel's translations an excellent what's that

story what's that Brian Freel the playwright wrote a play about Donegal and the idea of

place are you okay yep I've never heard of it do you need a hard reset it's on in London I think at the moment I wouldn't fancy doing it but then theatre innit I'm never going to go off you need a hard reset it's on in London I think at the moment I wouldn't fancy doing it

but then if they're in it I'm never going to go off my own bat I'm a real culture objector you need someone to drag you along

keeping you screaming I need the vulture to pick up the culture take it back to the nest and put it in my mouth yeah you're the type of theatre goer who doesn't want to go

he's dragged along under duress and then afterwards goes yeah I quite like that yeah I quite enjoy that would you want to go nah I'm the kind of guy

who laughs at the funeral you are you don't believe can't understand what I mean you soon will let's go it's very hot in here I'm very sweaty

you're starting to slow down you're a bit like like a cold blooded lizard or a hot iPhone yeah we'll be back next week for more Luke and Pete show if you want to get in touch

with the show it's hello at lukenpeetshow.com we do love your stories so do get them in we can be found on Twitter at lukenpeetshow

yeah and Instagram and you can be found and I can be found in my house in Soho not in this heat not in this heat I'll be outside mate

I'll be outside thanks very much for getting in touch and for listening and do leave us a review on iTunes or wherever you get your pods we'll speak to you next week.

Say goodbye, Peter. See you later, dickheads. And it's goodbye from me, The Luke. Who wants to buy a monkey? Outro Music