The Luke and Pete Show - Episode 90: A conspiracy theory special!

Episode Date: August 16, 2018

As promised, Pete delivers (sort of) on his Conspiracy Theory Special chat from shows gone by. What we mean by that is that he found a list of them in a magazine and would quite like to read them out. And the excitement only ramps up from there - in the second half of the show both Luke and Pete get tucked in to a tube of space food that their pal brought back from Russia. I mean, they have to translate the label first, but it can't be that bad can it? To send us into space, or give us any ideas: [e-mail]***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

it's the luca peach show we're back it's a whatever day it is. Monday, Thursday. You don't know, do you? And nor do you care. Monday, Thursday, look at Pete. Happy days. Tuesday, Wednesday. Look at Pete. You've got a lifestyle where, in actual fact,

it doesn't matter what day of the week it is, does it? I'm partying every day of the week. I'm like, who's that man? Uptown Funk. That guy. Who is that? Bruno Mars. I was going to say Bruno Mars, but I didn't want to sound horrendously out of touch with the youngsters. who's that man uptown funk that guy oh uh who is that is it bruno mars i was gonna say bruno mars but i didn't want to sound horrendously out of touch with the youngsters told you a story

about bruno mars didn't i go on say it again i can't remember it v festival backstage he was in his potter cabin uh but it was before he was very well known right but i had a keyboard cat t-shirt and i stood behind his potter cabin and he kept peeking out at my T-shirt. And then he brought his friends over to peek out between the blinds to look at my keyboard cat T-shirt. Right. It's not a barnstorming story. It's not a barn burner.

Bruno Mars wanted something that I was wearing. Surprised you were wearing a T-shirt. That is, of course, Pete Donaldson, the Pete. I am the luke and you are very welcome here on the luke and pete show whether it's your first listen to us or your 90th listen to us you are of course very welcome this parish is a very welcoming one isn't it peter we're gonna take it slow we're gonna work the shaft cook up the balls and uh get you ready for some fun and more importantly we'll call you the next day.

Yeah. We won't pretend to. We won't ghost you. Yeah, we won't. Pete Donaldson would... We ain't no podcast fuckboys. Pete is the kind of guy who would give someone a fake number, but I would never do that. Don't be rude.

I would never do that. I'm taking the shot off again. So you're in safe hands. Pete, now, at some point in the dim, distant past, you, in fact... The DDP. Yeah, yeah, so to speak. You promised the listeners a conspiracy theory special. We are the new Alex Jones Infowars.

Rod Soros is destroying the world. Making the fags gay. Yeah. With a new podcast because his podcast has been kicked off iTunes. So we are going to fill the gap. That's how Hitler got in charge because of a power vacuum. That's how we are going to get in charge. I bring up Hitler a lot.

I didn't agree to this before the record. I don't agree with it now but I feel like I've got no choice but to go along with it. Luke, there are certain areas of the internet in which conspiracy theorists exist and there are some delicious ones that you might not have heard. What do you want me to do, rate them on their viability?

Yeah, the veracity of their claims. Thank you to Shortlist for some of these, but there are some that I have found myself. Finland does not exist. So I've heard Australia doesn't exist. I've heard that one. That's a Flat Earther thing, though, isn't it? Right. There's an entire-earther thing, though, isn't it? Right.

There's an entire subreddit dedicated to the fact that Finland doesn't exist. It's basically invented by Russia and Japan. Right. And the US and NASA are doctoring for tours and airplane companies and anyone who's been to Finland, anyone who's Finnish. So what's the basis? I don't really know. What's the reason?

I don't know. There isn't any reason. But all these things have to come from a purpose, right? Well, they do. Who does Finland border? Russia, of course. Is it just Russia and Denmark? No, it would be Sweden or Norway, wouldn't it?

I'd have to look at a map. But they border another Scandinavian country and Russia, basically. Why don't we replace our World Chart 2018 with a map? We should.

It's a good idea. But one of those funny maps that are like funny, makes Africa look bigger and everything else and the Americas look smaller. It's best to get a globe, I think, for that purpose.

So my understanding, tell me if I'm wrong here, because you are much more au fait with this part of the internet than me. I always for that purpose but so my understanding tell me if I'm wrong here because you are much more au fait with this part of the internet than me I always thought that however wacky conspiracy theories

were they served a purpose so for example this idea that jet fuel doesn't melt steel beams is used as an example

for something else as in 9-11 was an inside job or whatever Australia not existing is used to help people, flat earthers to square that circle of you, excuse the pun. So what is the reason for this?

You can't just list something and say, oh, that's a conspiracy theory. Why? Why is it a conspiracy theory? Well, I think if you are coming at this with that tack, you're not going to enjoy this show because a lot of them are just, these exist, and that's interesting. And it's not just... So how do they come about? It's not just three or four people.

These are Facebook groups that have, like, you know, thousands of people. And this is basically mostly 4chan and Reddit-fuelled, is it? Mainly Facebook, to be honest. Right. Mainly Facebook. Here's your next one. This is from Shortlist. Saddam Hussein had a Stargate.

Yeah, I think I might have heard that one. Preserving the ambitions of the New World Order and preventing an alien invasion of Earth is not exactly widespread, says the magazine, says the organ. Basically, they reckon that Saddam Hussein had a Stargate. Not that interesting. Saved by the Bell, though. Saved by the Bell was a vehicle for the Illuminati.

I love this one. Tell me more. Obviously, we all love Saved by the Bell. Favourite character from Saved by the Bell, Luke? I would say Screech, but I know what came along afterwards, and it makes me tainted. I'll go AC Slater. You did see us tainted.

AC Slater, who's kind of reinvented himself as like an Entertainment Tonight kind of guy. Well, if you hear the Saved by the Bell, I'm not even going to be able to bother plugging it in properly, but this is the Saved by the Bell theme. Let's play the song in reverse. My Satan, we're all saved.

Man, I miss my Satan and we're all saved. It's a stretch that, isn't it? It's a stretch that one. Man, I miss my Satan and we're all saved. Yeah, it's a stretch that, isn't it? It's a stretch that one. Man, I miss my Satan and we're all saved. What would Mr. Belding say? What would Mr. Belding say? He'd probably go,

ha ha! Like that. Remember his laugh? Ha ha! I can't remember it, really. Do you know what? You know how your memory gets sort of twisted over time?

According to people who are experts in this kind of area, they'll say things like, oh, 40% of childhood memories didn't actually happen yeah in my mind usually in car yeah in my mind do you remember the show do you remember the children's cartoon defenders of the earth yeah defenders of the earth defenders yeah every time i think of that show i can't help but thinking that the little pet thing, Snarf. Remember Snarf?

Oh, that was Thundercats. That was Thundercats. Sorry. Okay, ignore me. Thundercats. Right. Remember Thundercats? What about the Master of Magic Spells and Illusion?

Enemies crumble with fear and confusion. Mandrake. Mandrake. Lothar. His strength is a legend. His will conquers all. We harness his power. We never will fall.

Lothar! Because it was the 80s, the black guys were always big muscle men who had nothing else to offer. Is that a conspiracy theory as well? Well, that's just institutional racism from... Can I say my original point? Hopefully it won't be racist about small little fictional

pets. Schnaff! Schnaff, exactly. So Schnaff made that noise you know in my it's actually quite good in my in my mind every single episode of thundercats ended with snuff saying next time i'll stay at home and then we'll laugh and they'll go yeah is that how it used to go down pretty much yeah it's that did used to happen actually was not in uh thundercats no he was in he's in Defense of the Earth

Mandrake, Flash Phantom, Lothar and the four other ones so who was in who was the muscular black guy in Defense of the Earth

Pantera wasn't it Pantera is it Pantera Lionel Chitara Panthro Panthro Panthro

Pantera is the band there are some wonderful and very old school Thundercats bloopers. Panthro. Panthro. Pantera's the band. There are some wonderful and very old school Thundercats bloopers where Panthro can't say Samalflange, which I don't even think is a thing. I've just found out I'm into it. Season three, these are all of the bloopers, or some of them.

I should have known the Territor didn't mean us any harm when the Sword of Omens didn't obey me. And anyway, it was just plain stupid to assume it might be bad. Just what the fuck am I talking about? Your tits, my dear. Motherfucker. Your fucking job, you. That's enough.

That was enough. Run out the fucking plank, boys. Come here, motherfucker. You've got to snap out of it lionel why are they animated these shut up you fuck they've not animated they've just somebody has just put the video over the top of them i think like the video so let's hang on keep your foot off that blasted Samo flange. What the fuck is a Samo flange? I have to do that again. On that note, you remember the 90s puppet-led sitcom, Alf?

Yeah, he wasn't really a thing over here. He looked like a fucking, he looked like something out of a bakery. Right, so Alf was for those who were too young or haven't wasted their lives like Pete and I. He used to eat cats. It was an alien

the conceit was that this alien puppet like a Jim Henson type thing had crashed land to earth and this suburban American family had taken him in. And they had to

you know cue hilarity etc. Sort of like Harry and the Hendersons but anyway, there's a video on YouTube, which you absolutely cannot fucking play by the way,

of, of the, the actor who apparently was known as being a complete dickhead and everyone hated him. Yeah. The actor who voices Alf, because it's done in front of a live studio audience. And when they're redressing the set and changing stuff around and doing their rehearsal and stuff this guy apparently

used to just march Alf the puppet around the stage just shouting like racial epithets over and over again like really bad stuff

and someone uploaded it to YouTube and apparently this guy used to routinely do this in between scenes on Alf yeah I don't remember his name

would that not just would the producer not show up you're Oh, I think he eventually got fired. You can't do that. You literally

can't do that. You can't just pick up the puppet and run around just doing that. But it's quite odd because clearly

he couldn't be seen. I guess he had his hand up the damn puppet and was doing it back and forward behind a counter

or something. But was screaming racial epithets essentially. Racially motivated insults and stuff. Incredible. doing it back and forward and behind like a counter or something but was screaming like racial epithets essentially like racially motivated like insults and stuff yeah

incredible I'm enjoying the image to a certain extent but there's a very low ceiling before it I go dear oh dear

do you remember the dinosaurs or dinosaurs yes I do that was Jim Henson as well the characters couldn't see

right they couldn't see. Right. They couldn't see out of their own costumes. So you'll notice that when they start walking around, their mouths go up and down so that the characters

can look out the mouth. It's got a big floor, isn't it? Very flawed. Yeah. Not the mama. It was quite a scary... I found that show quite unsettling as a child.

Quite scary. It was just a bit shit. I was scared of the man's boss it was IT it was IT it was ITV's kind of Saturday afternoon

nonsense it really was but do you remember that there was a situation so the guy the dad the dad dinosaur

in the family yeah he worked as some sort of like building guy oh because he always had like

a little hard hat and a lumberjack shirt and he used to carry a lunchbox with him all the time that's right and he always used like a little... Hard hat and a lumberjack shirt. Hard hat and a lumberjack shirt. And he used to carry a lunchbox with him all the time. That's right.

And he always used to get summoned in by his boss, who was like a massive dinosaur. With a really scary face. He'd just sit behind a desk. Yeah. And that was always really frightening to me. But you really loved Jurassic Park. That's one of your favourite films.

Yeah, but I was a bit older then. I was terrified of that when it first came out. I got my appreciation for it as I got older. Those rubbery masks and characters that Jim Henson created. The problem is, the rubber they used to use

and presumably the rubber they still use, it perishes very, very easily. Right. If you ever want a real horror trip and you're a big fan of the film Labyrinth, if you want to Google Hoggle. Oh my God, it's awful. I've seen it.

Hoggle from Labyrinth has not been kept in the best manner because he now resembles, his skin's basically just fallen off, dried up, fallen off. It's really got to be maintained, that kind of form of rubber they used to use back in the day. He looks obscene. And even the fixing up that they've tried to do on him makes it look like...

Remember when that woman did that adjustment to that Italian image of Jesus? Fresco of Jesus. It looks a little bit like that. Michael Jackson was killed by the Iranian government, Luke. Here's another one. That's probably more believable

as far as that Michael Jackson is actually dead. Yeah. He's got an outie belly button. Now, I was thinking about this. Celebrities with outie, noticeably outie belly buttons. I think there's a Michael Jackson exhibition on in London and there's a Michael Jackson exhibition on in London

and so there's posters all around the tube and I was like that's a really comprehensive outie belly button. I've got my shirt off at the moment.

I've got like an innie and an outie. Yeah you have, yeah. It goes in but it goes out at the same time. It's weird. In. Yours is completely in.

That's why we get on opposites attract. Maybe we could merge it, couldn't we? Ying and yang. I could put my innie in your outie. It'd be like, I'm burping because the ideas are so potent. What is the rationale

behind the Michael Jackson Iranian link-up? Sorry, yeah, it wasn't about his belly button. No. The day that the king of pop died, I'm reading from shortlist, Twitter briefly broke from the influx of rest in peace tweets which knocked the hashtag Iranian election

Off the trending top spot According to some pundits this prevented Iranian protesters From using Twitter to organise Protests against Ahmadinejad It's not stopped them is it Another popular topic doesn't stop you using Twitter Well it kind of does if there's a big news story it bumps things off

So you're saying that the groundswell wasn't as potent because of it? Yeah, exactly. So, killing any kind of sedition. Any kind of movement. So the Iranian powers at Beethal, I'll tell you what, there's an uprising in the offing here. Let's kill Michael Jackson. President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

clearly executed Michael Jackson with tablets. Right. Yeah. Via his physician? Say again? Via his physician? Via his physician. He was an agent of the Iranian state. It does say a lot that that is probably the most believable of all of them so far.

Yeah, it's amazing, isn't it? But it's amazing that these people believe this, and we definitely do not. If anyian people are listening what have you got next what is that it that's it that's all of them is it well uh there was actually an email from somebody who was um hi guys i love the show um i can't seem to find this guy's uh name but thank you very much whoever it was as i was browsing the web yesterday i came across this question on yahoo answers which features people who genuinely believe santa is real right and so basically it's a collection of people both young

and old on a yahoo answers page where if we think that like reddit or 4chan or facebook old people facebook is crazy yahoo answers people who are still getting involved on yahoo answers they are crazy stuff they are crazy potatoes. But you can say whatever you want, though, right? On those. Yeah, you can say whatever you want, wherever you like, because, you know,

hashtag free speech. We haven't done a ad break yet. Should we do a quick ad break and then we'll come back with the answers from Yahoo Answers? All right, cool. All right. And we're back with the answers from Yahoo Answers.

The big question this afternoon is, is Santa real, Luke Moore? Any ideas on your, any opinions yourself? With apologies to any of those people, I mean, I should apologise more generally of anyone the age of about 12 is listening to this. Yeah, no, I thought about this. I've pretty thought about this.

Who cares? I mean, they're not going to be listening. On balance, I would say I don't think it about 12 is listening to this. Yeah, no, I thought about this. I've pretty thought about this. Who cares? I mean, they're not going to be listening. On balance, I would say I don't think it is real. He is real. No, no, no, it's fine. It's fine. But there's some beautiful messages

that I sort of concatenated. This comes from Von Christian. Hello, Von Christian. This was posted five years ago in the forum that basically asks the question, is Santa alive or not? We don't know if he is real or not because some people said real and some people said

fake. So we don't know who is giving toys, gifts, money if we put a sock. If Santa is real, that to be good. God knows all so that we kind of answer the real answer. Do you know what? There was a golden time. I wouldn't be able to put a year on it. You'd be able to do it more than I would, I think the internet was really good it was like the wild west it was endlessly

interesting fascinating completely liberating yeah you would be able to find some mad stuff that people have uploaded from the other side of the world which is actually really interesting and it and it felt brilliant and i would say that was possibly about between 10 and 15 years ago. Yeah. Well, yeah. Yeah. And now it is an absolute cesspit. Yeah.

And I include you and I in that. Oh, yeah. We're not improving things. If anything, we are laminating it. Keeping it all in. Reinforcing the status quo. Reinforcing it. Yeah.

We're basically, you know, how they're trying to fix Venice, which smells of shit, they're trying to reinforce the buildings because they're all crumbling. That's basically what we're doing. My favourite conspiracy theory, as I've mentioned on this show before, and it's sadly, as of about 2009-ish, has obviously been proven beyond all reasonable doubt

to be untrue aside from the obvious anyway um was john teetle remember i told you about john teetle uh lord ramble what no john teetle popped up on um a couple of forums around the turn of the century right claiming to be a time traveler from 2036 oh right and as a result he essentially in quite a detailed way as far as you'd have to be a good level scientist to understand even the stuff he was talking about, explained how his time machine worked. And then subsequently explained that he'd been sent back

to 2000 and 2001 or whatever to find a load of hardware for a particular computer system that had gone extinct. And then he started making loads of predictions about um how the world would would um would sort of evolve and how what would happen and um but what he would did was he was clever enough to sort of blind people with science then the predictions he made weren't happening for like three or four years yes so of course in the in the sort of vacuum that then transpired people would just talk about it and talk about it and talk about it. And of course, by about 2009, it was obviously proven to all be untrue. But it was a really interesting thing.

It's worth checking out online. I think there's probably a Wikipedia page for it. Well, there's still a little bit of Santa fake slash real-ness on this forum, Luke. This is Meg on the forum three years ago. I still have beliefs in Santa. I sometimes have my doubts about him because I saw in my parents' notebook my Christmas list that I wrote to the elf on the shelf, and all my other letters were there, but I'm still confused

about this question. I'm only 10. Adorable. This is all adorable. But I'm still so confused about this. Please reply and help me find out too. 10-year-olds trying to... Yeah, but they're asking questions. They are asking questions. What are you going to do when your niece gets to ten

and asks you that question about Santa? I'm going to say, George Soros does it all. Saria, four years ago, I'm being completely honest, capital letters, Santa is fake. Saria, four years ago, I'm being completely honest. Capital letters. Santa is fake. How can an old, chubby man deliver presents to over a billion children in one night?

People say that he creates toys. Can he create Beats the Headphones? It's a good question. Is that Dr. Dre saying that? Is that Dr. Dre's online pseudonym? Yeah. Yeah, I'm sorry if you are depressed, but that is the truth. I was heartbroken, but some people cannot take the truth.

No, that's true. Whoever that is is going to be the arbiter of truth. What have you got in your hand there, Pete? It's time for the next part of the show, right? Steady, steady. Wow. You've got your top off, but everything else is strictly, as the Americans would say, PG-13.

So what have you got in your hand? I've got some space food that our good friend John brought home from space. No, he brought it home from Russia, didn't he? Russia. He went to visit some sort of place in Russia where they sell space food. As in the actual food that is used upon, I think, is it the International Space Station or something like that? I believe so, wherever the Russians go.

I'm just using Google Translate. Probably shouldn't have done this before, but I'm just using Google Translate to translate the Russian that's on the front here. Tasty, rosy pithenware. That sounds good to me. That sounds good to me. So basically, it's...

Can we describe it to the listeners? It comes in a cold tube. We've been keeping it in the fridge because we think that's the smart thing to do. And it just comes in a really thick tube. Like more food than you'd probably... This sort of thing you eat once and you eat a very small amount of it

and then you never eat it again. I would describe it as a factory-sized toothpaste tube. It's a factory-sized... Yeah, it really is. So, open it up. Open it up. Get it opened. I'm just doing a bit of...

Well, this is the instructions. Instruction to remove packaging tube. Enjoy the content from mouth to mouth, starting from the neen raw, where the contents remain. Twist the tube on the extrusion direction. I mean, they're just basically telling us how to open a packet of... Open a toothpaste tube a toothpaste tube basically so our pal decided to bring some home and said

oh you should you should eat this on the loo compete show yeah and i would describe it as a factory-sized toothpaste tube with a obviously a load of russian writing on it what did what did our good friend um uh give us as in like what's the flavour well I'll explain because I've just done I've just looked at what the ingredients are on my Google Translate app and oh go on

buckwheat groats yeah buckwheat and meat I was told is the flavour of it onion sunflower oil pepper fragrant ground well ground pepper

salt food water right petrol I did that one yeah okay right right but that's an old peacock and gamble joke Fragrant ground, well, ground pepper. Salt, food, water. Right. Petrol. I did that one. Yeah, okay, right. That's an old Peacock and Gamble joke, by the way.

So we decided we're going to eat it on the Luke and Pete show, but we've just brought it in in the tube. Yeah. Two things I'm unclear on. One is, how do I actually eat it? Do I squeeze it into my mouth? Well, put some on the back of your hand and eat it. Okay.

I thought you've done this before. And two, we're not supposed to cook it, are we? It's just, you just eat it. Okay. I thought you've done this before. And two, we're not supposed to cook it, are we? It's just, you just eat it like that. Space, innit? What does that mean? Space.

Okay, I'm going to open it up. I'm unscrewing it. Right, I'm not. Oh, it's good. It's actually got the toothpaste thing where you put the back of the... Yeah, that's how we do things nowadays. Right, okay.

Space food, mate. It's future food. Future food. What colour is it? Don't smell it first. That's a fool's errand. I'd say it's like, almost like, it's a waste food, mate. It's future food. Future food. What colour is it? Don't smell it first. That's a fool's errand. I'd say it's almost like... It's a cross between baby food and cat food,

is what it looks like. Like a beige-y brown jelly with meat in it. Is it slightly translucent? I don't think I'd like that. Yeah. Do you want to hold your hand? I'll squeeze some of it onto your hand. All right.

Give us a bit more than that. Come on. You're an absolute animal for it. Piss I'll get off the pot. There you go. Right. So you've got... It looks like...

Let me take a picture of it for the... I watch a lot of YouTube videos where they squeeze blackheads. This is a bit like when that guy was eating that Civil War ration. Yeah. So this is legitimate. The sort of food that the astronauts would enjoy in space. It's been kept in a fridge for that. You've really muffed up that smearing on the back of your hand.

Now it's all over your finger. It's all over my hand. And you've also taken... It doesn't smell too bad. Right. It smells like corned beef. It smells a bit like when you make a lot of pasta on a Sunday and put it in the fridge. And you open it up. Right, should we go for it?

Alright. One, two, three. Go. That's actually quite nice. Yeah. Could do with a bit more salt or the ground pepper. No, I think it's very salty. Do you want some more?

Yeah, I do. It actually tastes quite... It tastes a bit like... How would I describe it? It tastes quite... It tastes a bit like... How would I describe it? It tastes like... It tastes like corned beef. Yeah, corned beef, yeah. Corned beef.

Like a futuristic corned beef. It's just the way it comes out. You can sort of see the carrots in it, if indeed there is any carrots. It does look like meat and... Yeah, if you had... If you put that in like a hot soup and with some like really loaded like chilies and stuff, it would be quite nice.

No wonder people want to go up into space. That's the food you're getting. Mate. Stick one of them in the back pocket. Michelin star space food. There's also quite a lot in there as well. I could keep going for a good while of that. Yeah, I do live alone, so pass it on.

Didn't it go out of date two months ago as well? Yeah, I did. There you go. Luke and Pete show for the first time. I think for the first time on any podcast we know of, eating space food live on the show.

You can't beat that. There's no point looking at the label, Pete. You can't see it. You can't read it. There is a little sachet in there. There's a little sachet in there.

I don't really know what that is for. Let me do a little Google Translate. Continue to film. Well, I was just going to say, while you wrap this up, I think we should

just take a bit of time to do a couple of emails before we go it says antidote and then we can um then we can uh we can we can we can get out of here um just i've taken a couple of photos of the space it's an antiseptic napkin oh okay right that's very very um thoughtful of them maybe buff a bit um couple of emails before we go? Bit of that? Bit of emails first? Okay, should we have a little jingle? Yeah, all right.

I'm dying. All right, cool. Right, you okay now? I'm back. Here we go. What about this from Chris Nilsson from Norway? He says, Hi guys, after listening to your cocaine bear episode,

I thought I'd let you in on the hardest hitting news story Norway had to offer in 2010. A.K.A. a giant rat. What? A 43-year-old man caught a rat measuring 50 centimetres long that had been eating protein powder from a bag in his basement. The man explained the rat had consumed over 13 kilograms of protein powder. Mate, I was to your bench. Before being caught in a mousetrap. I didn't like rats before, and seeing this beer moth didn't help.

He's a literal fucking gym rat, Luke. He is. Chris also included the picture, and it is utterly horrific. Oh, that's what that is. I'll share it on the social. Big old rat. Let me find that. Why has he got protein powder in his basement?

Is that where his workout bench is? Yeah, it's possible. There's a great song called, I don't know what it's called, but it's by the man called Juju. Look at the size of that rat, Donny. And it's, put my ashes in a vase beneath your workout bench. Look at his face, though. Look at the guy's face.

He looks worried. He looks worried. That is a big rat a big fat rat. Looks the size of a small cat, I would say. He's been eating protein powder. Well, at least the stuff works. That's all I'm saying. Thank you for that, Chris.

And let's squeeze one more quick one in before we go, because we've got space food. We've got buckwheat to eat. I'm surprised how good that tastes. This is from James N. in St. Albans, who says, Hi, Luke and Pete. Back in episode 81, you incorrectly stated... Oh, fuck off, mate. End the show.

Play the music. Fuck it. No. A dromedary camel has two humps, and a Bactrian camel has one hump. It is, in fact, the other way around. And there's an easy way of remembering this. If you look at the word dromedary and take the first letter on its side, the capital D looks like a hump. Hence, dromedary camels have one hump. It's the same for Bactrian.

The capital B has two humps. Therefore, Bactrian camels have two humps. This fact particularly impressed a lady friend during a date at a safari park. So that's one for you, Pete. Thank you very much to you, James N. from St. Albans. Not sure you get many camels around St. Albans these days. Why do people take people on dates to safari parks? Is it because you're like, I'm a man, I'm dominating nature by going,

look at this tiger in a cage. Can't get out. But a safari park, it wouldn't be in a cage, would it? It'd be roaming free, hence the attraction of a safari park. You're confusing it with a zoo. And as a man who used to work in a zoo, that's a poor mistake by you. Yeah, but I mean, some of the jails were very easily opened.

Some of the jail cells. Sorry, what did that animal do? What was it? Robbery? Monkeying around. Anyway, let's get out of here. We've eaten space food. We've read a couple of your emails. We've talked about conspiracy theories. There is something for everyone on this show. I hope you enjoyed it. If you want to get in touch and

contribute to this foul jamboree, it's hello at lukeandpete show.com. Leave us a review on iTunes. Put something like, this is unlike any other podcast I've ever heard in a good way. They ate space food, for fuck's sake. And give us five stars. We'll see you later.

Thanks very much for listening. Say goodbye, Peter. Bye. That's unacceptable. And it's goodbye from me, and I'm sorry about him sorry Bye.