The Luke and Pete Show - Episode 94: A parachute jump without a parachute is just a jump

Episode Date: August 30, 2018

We're back, just like you said we would be. Let's get straight into it, shall we?A man enters the Guinness Book of World Records in a way that must surely mean he's tired of living, we discover a land... beneath the sea that we never knew existed, someone directly related to an Arctic Monkey gets in touch, and Pete lets us in to the nightmare that is his subconscious.Elsewhere, there's emails on tips for visiting the UK, the building in London that Hitler purposely avoided bombing, and a famous man visiting Hartlepool for the fish n chips, when in fact he should be sticking to his tossed salads and scrambled eggs. Saucy!To send us a lovely battered cod, it's hello@lukeandpeteshow.com***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 oh we've stayed in here too long look it's hot in here now isn't it it is sweaty boys i'll tell you what it's hot oh i don't know it's white hot chatter reason do you think what it's like in here pete but the chat version when like in a medieval fantasy, when they're trying to make a sword, and they put the hot metal in that water, that's what it's like here. It's all over the place. There's bits of metal and bits of calcium going all over the gaff.
Starting point is 00:00:35 Welcome to the Luke and Pete show. I am the Luke. That is the Pete. Say hello, the Pete. Oh, I nearly burped then. I've not eaten a banana today. Have you got over your Japanese porn talk? Because I think people are getting a bit fatigued
Starting point is 00:00:45 by that I don't think they were I was I think they were enchanted I was enchanted this is the show where twice a week
Starting point is 00:00:51 we do a I'm going to say unplanned half an hour about whatever takes our fancy live and unleashed sort of bookended by your emails and you're very welcoming
Starting point is 00:01:01 welcome in enjoy the ride it's very slow and sometimes quite dull but don't let that hold you back we have none of our safety certificates
Starting point is 00:01:08 we require to run this ride and we're not going to do it anyway and we're not doing I haven't got one of those tell you what we're like we're like one
Starting point is 00:01:15 quite bad and one quite overweight tightrope walker together on a tightrope with no safety net yeah we don't give a shit
Starting point is 00:01:24 listen in watch us splatter ourselves all over the pavement. You see that guy who jumped out of a plane? I don't know why that jumped out of a plane. Hang on a minute. I've only got it on my laptop screen, Pete. Yeah, you sent me this. Give us the headline on the Twitter account that you're reading off. A lot more interesting and less dirty
Starting point is 00:01:43 than the other Twitter account I was talking about last week. Well, I'm going to give people a bit of background because you and I have got beef here. A bit of background with beef. We've got history here. Right. You tried to embarrass me with those wingsuits that time. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:01:55 Remember? You rarely say something stupid, so that's up there with you saying that little man with the iron in the boxing ring, the cut man, he has a hot iron to iron down the bruises. Oh yeah,
Starting point is 00:02:08 did I say that as well? It's really cold, isn't it? I mean, that's, but the reason it sticks out is that you rarely say stupid things. And that's what upsets me. My wife would not agree with that.
Starting point is 00:02:20 So anyway, the background to this particular issue is the fact that I watched a video of a guy scooting down the side of a mountain in a wingsuit. Yep. And I guess I thought in my infinite lack of wisdom that, um, he could just pull up and sort of land.
Starting point is 00:02:35 Yeah. And just walk off. The more I think about that, the more I find that quite charming. Yeah. And the more I think, why can't he do that? Yeah. Could you not just do that? Like on some water go up
Starting point is 00:02:45 and just use your body but you eventually said look grow up you are going 100 miles an hour yeah he has to put a parachute out fine understood but we did see a video
Starting point is 00:02:53 of a guy doing it without a parachute and he landed in a load of boxes yeah but he's the only man who's ever done that in the world ever so technically
Starting point is 00:03:00 I was correct but that's the background to this but anyway some news broke I think it was last week now maybe possibly the week before
Starting point is 00:03:07 of a guy called Luke Akins who has become the first person to jump out of an airplane without a parachute from 25,000 feet
Starting point is 00:03:17 now he lands in a big net it's in the Guinness World Record as essentially as the first complete planned jump from an airplane without a parachute.
Starting point is 00:03:27 So I thought this happened about a year ago. Or am I going mad? Or did he just do it from higher, this guy? I don't know. Incredible, really. Is the answer. But if you watch the video, and it's available, I mean, you can just Google it.
Starting point is 00:03:40 It's widely available. It's been watched over five million times on Twitter. He essentially jumps out like a normal-looking skydiver in the pose you'd expect just google it it's widely available um it's been watched over five million times on twitter um he he essentially jumps out like a normal looking skydiver in the pose you'd expect with a load of i guess experienced skydivers around him yeah who sort of maneuver him into position help him out the video's got like a uh an altimeter at the side to show you how close to the ground he's getting and obviously one by one they start pulling their parachutes, because they have to, and he carries on going. Eventually lands in what can only be described as an absolutely giant net.
Starting point is 00:04:09 Yeah. Which must be, actually, technically speaking, it's nowhere near the ground, that net, for obvious reasons. Yeah. So, as he really completed it. Anyway, he lands in the net. But can I just say, it's quite a nerve-wracking video to watch anyway, even though you know that he's going to be fine.
Starting point is 00:04:22 It gives you sweaty palms and all that. But I can't be the only one who noticed that he did almost miss the net he's nowhere near the middle of the net he's probably about
Starting point is 00:04:31 I don't know what the scale is but he's about I don't know a handful of pixels from the side of the net does he need to do it again in his mind he's going
Starting point is 00:04:38 I'm not doing that again no but that was mental that was nearly absolute nightmare I remember the one you might be talking about about a year ago was that red bull one
Starting point is 00:04:46 where he jumped out he chucked his parachute out and jumped out after it oh no no no have you seen that one same idea maybe this guy maybe this guy did it
Starting point is 00:04:55 a little while ago and everyone just sort of picked up on it maybe can I also say as well anyone here could do that just depends on the size of the net what do you mean
Starting point is 00:05:02 if you had like a mile not even a mile it would have to be bigger than a mile if you had a net the size of the net what do you mean well if you had like a mile high not even a mile that would be bigger than a mile if you hadn't met the size of a country anyone could yeah there you go but i mean what well i'm just saying if the net was like 10 feet by 10 feet yeah now you're talking now you're talking right but the red bull one the red bull one's worth a watch as well so it's obviously sponsored by Red Bull and the plane's Red Bull and a couple of people
Starting point is 00:05:26 jump out and skydive and he looks at the camera gives it like a gnarly dude radical dude sign or whatever they do these type of adrenaline junkies
Starting point is 00:05:35 chucks his parachute out the window like gives it a thumbs up and jumps out after it and the video's him chasing it chasing his parachute and he gets it
Starting point is 00:05:42 and lets it off that sickens me that sort of behaviour sickens me tired of living of behaviour sickens me. Tired of living, as my dad would say. Tired of living. So there we go. He's got nothing on the ground.
Starting point is 00:05:51 He's got nothing on the ground. I've got nothing to live for anyway! Very good. And also, Pete, are you aware of a, it's hard to explain, but a thing, I suppose, called Doggerland?
Starting point is 00:06:05 Doggerland? Yeah. Is that like Diggerland where you can play on some diggers? Sean Ramiobe and Sammy Amilby went on it once and it amused me. Sort of.
Starting point is 00:06:14 Right. So Doggerland and I've never really considered this before and I might be about to blow some people's minds but at the same time I might be talking to people who are going
Starting point is 00:06:22 yeah well obviously everyone knew that. Is it like hedonism too but instead of being in the Caribbean, it's people fucking on some waste ground? Yeah. So you know Creamfields? No, basically, Doggerland is the name of a landmass
Starting point is 00:06:37 that is now beneath the North Sea, but up until 6000-ish BC, connected the UK with the rest of Europe. So basically, the UK traditionally was part of the European mainland, but due to some sort of
Starting point is 00:06:56 incident, I think it was something to do with a flooding or a rising sea level or something like that, was submerged and now it's underwater, which separates us from the mainland of Europe. How thick so we could... I mean, if it's 6,000, that's reversible, isn't it?
Starting point is 00:07:13 Build on it a bit. Apparently, archaeologists have been down there and found stuff. All I'm just saying, in this Brexit era we're living through, it makes you think, doesn't it? What do you mean it makes you think? What makes you think?'t it what makes you think what do you think they had a vault
Starting point is 00:07:26 and sank it in the 66,000s yeah maybe maybe but apparently it was first identified in the early 20th century as it existed
Starting point is 00:07:36 and it was definitely a thing and then in 1931 a fishing trawler dragged up a barbed antler point which dated to a time when the area was I think in the Ice Age or something and then since then vessels have dragged up a barbed antler point, which dated to a time when the area was, I think, in the Ice Age or something.
Starting point is 00:07:47 And then since then, vessels have dragged up remains of mammoth, lion, other animals, and some prehistoric tools and weapons to confirm, essentially, that it was a big part of land between the UK and what is now the Netherlands. Ah, I thought that would sort of go that way
Starting point is 00:08:00 rather than... Ah, fantastic. Weird, right? Did you not know about that? No. It feels like quite well I obviously knew that the UK was part of
Starting point is 00:08:08 a larger landmass at some point but I didn't realise you thought it was continental drift or something like that well no I just didn't realise it was
Starting point is 00:08:13 well I mean it's continental drift and there'll be flooding as well but I didn't realise it was as late as 6,000 so I only found out about it about a week ago
Starting point is 00:08:22 do you think it's quite a big thing to not know about? Because I feel like it was one of those things where I was like, Jesus, I really should know that. Out of all, bearing in mind that I know about Joseph Lister and the Cowboy Like Salt and that shit, that would be probably more useful. I'm talking to a man here who is on the record of saying
Starting point is 00:08:38 he wasn't sure how Jesus died. Yeah. I'm looking forward, round and backwards, I would say. What can we learn from it? Is it really an influential bit of activity anyway? Yeah. I'm looking forward, rather than backwards, I would say. What can we learn from it? Is it really an influential bit of activity anyway? Yeah. Not really. There we go.
Starting point is 00:08:50 So there we go. That's what's been floating my boat this week. And if you excuse the pun, because there was a landmass there and now it's not. It's under the sea. All right.
Starting point is 00:08:57 What have you got, Pete? Well, I was just going to press the button to go to emails. So let's go to emails. We've got loads of emails to get through for Crying Out Loud. Do it. Okay.
Starting point is 00:09:05 On each step with Peloton. From their pop runs to walk and talks, you define what it means to be a runner. Whatever your level, embrace it. Journey starts when you say so. If you've got five minutes or 50, Peloton Tread has workouts you can work in. Or bring your classes with you for outdoor runs walks and hikes led by
Starting point is 00:09:25 expert instructors on the peloton app call yourself a runner peloton all access membership separate learn more at onepeloton.ca slash running the problem appears not in again this one god you're gonna report me for saying bugger you know oh just wait till I see your mother. You're in real trouble. Oh, I say, what if she's going to go and see you? Then tell her this. Bugger-shaped fuck-sheet.
Starting point is 00:09:50 Fucking sphincter. There we go. The great Brian Blessings. Fucking sphincter. He's very similar. Do you remember the guy who, the Australian guy who was getting arrested? A delicious Chinese meal.
Starting point is 00:10:02 A succulent Chinese meal. That's it, succulent. Succulent. You wouldn't describe a Chinese meal as succulent would you no not the ones I get because you're trying to be
Starting point is 00:10:09 lemon chicken very dry as people as regular listeners to this show will know that's your death row meal isn't it that is my death row meal
Starting point is 00:10:16 lemon chicken shredded beef what was the other thing maybe some congee I'm fond of a congee yeah I think I'll go speculoos ice cream
Starting point is 00:10:25 on a nice Belgian waffle love it heavy yeah I'm about to be killed you'd immediately vomit I'm literally about to be killed doesn't matter
Starting point is 00:10:33 you want to look good I want to be so fat they can't even put me in the damn chair my arm's so fat yeah right what you got then Pete
Starting point is 00:10:41 I've got some emails mate Mark Kazanov. No, Matt Kazanov, even. My eyes deceive me. Listening to episode 89, where you guys discussed how Bruges was not bombed because it was too beautiful, and you briefly mentioned there was a place in London
Starting point is 00:10:55 that was also intentionally missed. That place is the Senate House Library in Fitzrovia. I studied abroad in London last fall, and we were given access to the library by UCL. While on tour, they told us how it was purposely not bombed, as Hitler eyed it up as his London headquarters due to its size and relative strength. The library is actually quite magnificent
Starting point is 00:11:14 and has a lovely great room, which is an excellent place to take midday naps, though not a great place to listen to podcasts as sudden fits of laughter get you weird looks from those in the midst of studying. Thank you for that, Matt, but I don't like the way that you're kind of being lovely about one of our buildings stop eyeing up our buildings matt leave your eventual base avoid it like hitler did when the connecticons connecticons uh head on over over here can i use a swear word to describe them
Starting point is 00:11:40 connecticons yes that's beautiful. And mass holes from Massachusetts. Put that on a t-shirt. Is that an actual thing? Kineticunts? Do they say that? They don't use the same word in
Starting point is 00:11:49 America, do they? It's sometimes touted as a laugh, I think. But that email that Matt sent there, I think that comes from
Starting point is 00:11:56 Pete, you and I getting confused between the building that Hitler had planned to use as his headquarters. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:12:03 And the one that looks like a swastika. No, because it wasn't, but I think that would have been his London headquarters, but wasn't there a big building in Norwich that he loved?
Starting point is 00:12:11 Oh, I don't know. Because Alan Partridge talks about it a lot. Maybe that's a joke. I don't know. Pete, I've got a really interesting email here from Rob.
Starting point is 00:12:20 And I don't know what you're going to make of this. I know you haven't read it because you're not caught up yet. I'm just going to read it to you and see what you think. Hi, of this. I know you haven't read it because you haven't, you're not caught up yet. Um, I'm just going to read it to you and see what you think. Okay. Hi chaps.
Starting point is 00:12:27 Love the podcast. Listening this week. I guess he means last week by now and couldn't believe your mention of the original Arctic monkeys bass player. Right? Imagine my surprise when I'm mindlessly painting the skirting board of my bathroom. When I hear you mention my brother.
Starting point is 00:12:42 Ah, brilliant. And his stint in britain's greatest music export of the last 15 years he's still involved in music produces a lot of solo artists as well as making music in the hip-hop genre he's also an accomplished photographer and had exhibitions of his work however imagine my dismay when he's referred to as the fat basis from arctic monkeys you said that i didn't say that love the podcast lads but maybe leave the body shaming out it's 2018 um i'd rather you not use my last name.
Starting point is 00:13:06 Fair enough. Probably figure it out. Rob also says, I do genuinely love all your podcasts and Wrestle Me is fast becoming my highlight of the week. So, Rob, I very, very much apologise
Starting point is 00:13:15 for insulting your brother. It was not my intention. As a man of a fairly sizable mass myself, I'm in a glass house here. I'm constantly body shaming Luke with my barbs. I've got nothing else because he's so switched on mentally. Pete, you are constantly body shaming
Starting point is 00:13:32 me just by taking your top off. It's nice to hear from Rob anyway. Thank you for getting in touch. Appreciate it. It's great to hear your brother's doing well. Fantastic being. I was reading that there's a quite there's a quite
Starting point is 00:13:46 accomplished photographer in the Arctic Monkeys now I think I can't remember who it is might be Matt Helders can't remember anyway
Starting point is 00:13:51 if you're related to a musician let us know my aunt's partner is was a either a touring
Starting point is 00:13:59 guitarist or a session guitarist for the Rolling Stones oh there we go how about that that's big that's big potatoes
Starting point is 00:14:03 isn't it big potatoes but I've never I've never really met him so i can't reclaim it i was reading that the guy who wrote most of the songs for the cardigans um who are still an ongoing concern i do believe um he went on to write the weekend uh i can't feel my face oh great and also carly roger jepsen's i really really really really really, really, really like you. Oh, did he really? Those two tracks, just that is a nest egg,
Starting point is 00:14:27 isn't it? That's a nest egg. So, I think I know who that is then. So, that'll be... Christensen? He's a Swedish guy, is he not?
Starting point is 00:14:34 Yeah, yeah. Is it Peter Svensson? That's the one. Yeah. That's the ticket. Yeah, he's written loads of stuff, but it just surprised me
Starting point is 00:14:42 that those two tracks in particular, Biggins. Obviously, he's Swedish because he's in the Carly Gans, right? He played guitar for them or something. But yeah, he's written loads of stuff, but it just surprised me that those two tracks in particular, Biggins. Obviously, he's Swedish because he's in the Carligons, right? He played guitar for them or something. But yeah, there's a really interesting sort of,
Starting point is 00:14:51 there might even be one that exists, and if the Reds do get in touch and let us know, hello at lukeandpeacher.com. But there's not been one made. There's a really good documentary waiting to be made about those behind-the-scenes songwriters
Starting point is 00:15:01 because there's so many of them. There's a guy called Carl Falk who wrote so much stuff. It's unbelievable how many songs he's written for people. All the One Direction stuff. Or the woman who does all of Rihanna, Beyonce's, all of the first draft singing.
Starting point is 00:15:17 When the songs get awarded or given or sold to an artist, this woman sings it first and she sings it and she kind of wraps the lyrics a little bit and kind of works out some lyrics and stuff just by singing the melody. And she's this woman who's just like, you walk past her in the street, but she is incredible.
Starting point is 00:15:36 She effectively is like the bedrock of all modern pop music. It's a great songwriter, not by the same level, but it's, in my opinion, a great songwriter who I know. He was a professional musician for ages. The way he used to write his melodies, he used to call up, he had an answer phone on his landline at his house. And when a melody came to him,
Starting point is 00:15:56 he would ring his landline, knowing that no one would answer, and sing it down to the answer phone. So he had it there and keep them there as a bank of melodies. And Brian Wilson actually used to live really, the great Brian Wilson used to live very close to his studio. it down to the answer phone so he had it there and keep him there as a good idea and brian wilson actually used to live really the great brian wilson used to live very close to his studio and for exactly that reason because sometimes songs would just come to him and go there and record them and he and i think there's a book called wouldn't it be nice and it's been widely
Starting point is 00:16:16 discredited as a true story of his life because it was co-written with dr eugene landy who is the the controversial therapist that lived with Brian Wilson to help him through his mental illness. Okay. And he was alleged to have broken a lot of professional conduct rules. Anyway, but in there, Wilson is quoted, I think, as saying,
Starting point is 00:16:35 for every amazing song I've written, I've lost 10 because I can't remember them. Yeah. And Neil Young also said he finds it hard to take credit for the song he's written because it doesn't feel like he's writing them he feels like a conduit i have had dreams where i've went that's a banging melody and i'm walking up and it's like i've either remembered
Starting point is 00:16:54 it and thought what the fuck are you on about it's like it's me going yeah or i've woken up and instantly forgotten it yeah i'm the same but this carl fort guy just going back to that he's a guy who's written... I had a sexy dream set in North Korea. For goodness sake. No, carry on. No, carry on. How can I carry on
Starting point is 00:17:11 with that bombshell in the middle of it? How am I supposed to live? How can we be lovers if we can't be friends? I was in Korea. I'm not going to go into who I was having sex with, but... As long as it wasn't me,
Starting point is 00:17:23 that's okay. Yeah, it wasn't you. I can confirm to the listeners it wasn't you. And I'm not going to go into who I was having sex with. As long as it wasn't me, that's okay. Yeah, it was you. I can confirm to the listeners it wasn't you. And I'm not going to reveal the sex. Literally, I was in North Korea and Kim Jong was there and he basically had us over there. Kim Jong-un, you mean? Kim Jong-un.
Starting point is 00:17:38 Yeah, yeah. The current Kim Jong. He was over there and he basically made us shut our eyes, promised to shut our eyes because they were under attack and they didn't want everyone seeing
Starting point is 00:17:49 you know what was going on and I was like I was whispering to the person going this is bullshit this is propaganda they're not really at war and all these bombs started exploding
Starting point is 00:17:56 we're in the sea we're in the water and all these things started and then I looked and I could see this wooden crown and I was like see this isn't even
Starting point is 00:18:02 a real crown that's why I know it's not real. Dreams are boring. Dreams are fundamentally fucking boring. It just reminded me of something. Let me just get this Carl Fox thing out of the way. And then we fucked.
Starting point is 00:18:14 The songwriter. Me and Kim. He's written songs since 2011. One Direction, Nicki Minaj, Demi Lovato, Jason Derulo, Tiesto,
Starting point is 00:18:23 Ariana Grande, Avicii, Kelly Redgeps, and Ellie Goulding with Donna. He's written, I mean, if you listen to the songs he's written. Yeah, but where are the big hits? I mean, this guy Svensson's written for all of us people as well, but he's big with Ariana Grande. There's some big hits.
Starting point is 00:18:37 Ariana Grande. I get so many tweets and so many fan accounts of Ariana Grande starting to follow me because the word Pete Donaldson is quite similar to Peter Davidson or Pete Davidson. Oh yeah. The guy who's got big dick energy.
Starting point is 00:18:49 Yeah. Big dick energy. What's that? I think it transpires that people were surprised because he's not a conventionally incredibly handsome man.
Starting point is 00:18:58 They assumed that he's got a bit of a swagger like he's got a big penis. So I think big dick energy is the new thing to say. What's he known for? What's his thing? SNL. He's a big in SNL. Oh okay like he's got a big penis. So I think Big Dick Energy is the new thing to say. What's he known for?
Starting point is 00:19:06 What's his thing? SNL. He's a big in SNL. Oh, okay, fine. He's very good on that. Okay, anyway, this story about, this dream about Kim Jong-un and all these bombs going off.
Starting point is 00:19:13 So let me tell you quite a funny story. I don't think I've told it before. Friends of mine were traveling in Southeast Asia about 15 years ago. And they're in, somewhere in Thailand. I can't remember where. And they're in somewhere in Thailand I can't remember where and they're in a hostel
Starting point is 00:19:27 or whatever and they decide they want to go out for a few beers that night there's about four or five of them
Starting point is 00:19:32 and so they're like right we're going to go for a few beers or whatever get ready and one of my mates Penny
Starting point is 00:19:37 I won't use his real name but everyone calls him Penny he decides he doesn't feel very well in fact he thinks he's got a bit of the old food poisoning diarrhea all that kind of stuff and so he says he um he decided he don't feel very well in fact he thinks he's got a bit of the old um the old food poisoning diarrhea
Starting point is 00:19:47 all that kind of stuff and so he's like i'm not going to come out i need to stay here i need to be within two meters of a toilet really he's that kind of
Starting point is 00:19:54 recording studio kind of illness um yeah no it wasn't that it was not something and and so anyway so he's there with diarrhea in a hostel room on
Starting point is 00:20:01 his own everyone's gone out it's like a full moon party or something like that um right because he's got bad diarrhea he's dehydrated and he's there with diarrhea in a hostel room on his own everyone's gone out it's like a full moon party or something like that um right because he's got bad diarrhea he's dehydrated and he's ill and he's starting to have that sort of woozy feeling where you're sort of between sleep and dream that kind of stuff right it just so happens to be the king of thailand's birthday on that day so there's massive celebrations all over Thailand and it involves, of course,
Starting point is 00:20:25 a huge amount of fireworks and all this stuff going on. To cut a long story short, my friends get home to the hostel at whatever time it is in the morning to find him cowering under the bed in tears because he thinks
Starting point is 00:20:36 that the whole island is under attack because these fireworks are going off. I don't like that story. It's sad, isn't it? It's sad. It is sad. Like a cowering pooch.
Starting point is 00:20:44 It's a mistake we've all made we've all confused the firework with a bomb it's just how it is I'm glad I've never I don't think I've been that sick for a long time
Starting point is 00:20:52 it's wonderful same same what about this Pete take your vitamins here's a good email from Phil who says Pete don't forget when discussing
Starting point is 00:20:59 fish and chips in our little old town of Hartlepools the time Kelsey Grammer of Cheers slash Frasier fame popped down the headland and into Verrills
Starting point is 00:21:10 for some fish and chips. Yeah, he's married to a attendant. Plane attendant? What do you call him? Cabin crew? Cabin crew.
Starting point is 00:21:20 He's on so many holidays you don't know what a cabin crew is. Cabin crew. So Kelsey Grammer went to a place called Verrills. Do you know that fish and chips shop? I do not. It's on the many holidays you don't know what a cabin crew is so Kelsey Grammer went to a place called Verrill's do you know that fish and chip shop I do not it's on
Starting point is 00:21:28 the headland I believe yeah that's what Phil says and this is well known in Hartlepool is it yeah it's a good one it's quite a big news for me yeah yeah well as I said
Starting point is 00:21:37 he goes out with a woman who's from Hartlepool originally I imagine she lives far away from Hartlepool now probably in Lathendale didn't I read that he had a tattoo on himself
Starting point is 00:21:46 to stop him cheating on his wife well something flirting or something yeah you told me that so I don't know yeah it just
Starting point is 00:21:53 yeah it gets through apparently there's a rumours of a Frasier reunion yeah but I think the dad died didn't he yes he did that's going to be a sad restart
Starting point is 00:22:01 the problem with rebooting shows that haven't been on the air for like 20 years or 15 is that we're... It's one thing watching someone grow old in front of our very eyes, like Niles and Frasier, who will presumably come back for this reboot. The thing is, like, HD television isn't kind to that sort of thing anyway. It isn't kind to the actors anyway.
Starting point is 00:22:23 No. And when they come back and we're faced with this, you know, like it's like watching the most recent Arrested Development series on Netflix. It's all very clear and you can see how old Job is and it's just like, oh, everyone's quite old, aren't they?
Starting point is 00:22:35 And the natural fact as well, it'll be fine for Kelsey Grammer and, um, for, for, for Frasier and Niles, but for like Daphne, she'll get judged badly for it.
Starting point is 00:22:42 Oh. Because women are much, women are much more badly judged for it. Yeah, no, I, no, I think Kelsey Grammar will look dreadful. Surely we can agree that men are under less pressure than women. Yeah, of course. Have we switched roles here? I think we might have done.
Starting point is 00:22:59 No, don't make me out to be some sort of sexist. No, I'm not saying you're sexist. Because you're a bit weird. Some woke. You're woke. What about this from Frankie P? You'll like this one. He says,
Starting point is 00:23:07 hello guys, love the show. In two weeks, I'm travelling to the UK from New Zealand to study at the University of Manchester. Following on from your fish and chips based life hack chat. Can't remember that.
Starting point is 00:23:18 Oh yeah, no I can. It's don't have fish and chips from a place that isn't a fish and chip shop. I'd appreciate some more crucial UK specific life hacks that would help me make the most of my British sojourn. My British cultural knowledge has so far
Starting point is 00:23:29 been almost solely acquired by York shows so I only have you not to blame if I commit any serious faux pas during my stay. When are they coming over? He's coming over in two weeks. What would you recommend as a couple of things to help him get on in British life a little bit more easily?
Starting point is 00:23:46 You need to be careful around the sewer people. These are a breed of people who live in the sewer. Yeah. They are half mutant, half people, which is a genus
Starting point is 00:23:57 all of its own. Mutant, just general mutant animals and things like that all together. And their king is called Fatberg. And they worship the Fatberg
Starting point is 00:24:05 under the streets of London. And all Wimbledon bull boys and bull girls are orphans. Someone tried to tell me that once. Really? That's wonderful. On a more serious note, Frankie, I would say that, because Frankie's the name of the email, if I didn't mention that,
Starting point is 00:24:19 I would say, here's my tip, right? And this might be like a minority viewpoint, but I believe it passionately. When you get to the point where you're working, you stay in the uk you get a job and you meet someone in the kitchen in the morning of the office and they say to you all right how was your weekend the only appropriate response to that is it was fine thanks yeah it's not they're not asking you british people are hardly ever asking you for about your weekend they're just passing the time they're being polite. How you doing?
Starting point is 00:24:45 I'm fine. That's not an open question, Frankie. So you are going to get a reputation as being a sort of oversharing New Zealander weirdo if you don't adhere to that rule. When I say, you're right, you're right, you're right, that's my hello. But people do sometimes go, yeah, I'm fine, thanks.
Starting point is 00:25:01 I'm like, oh, I didn't expect that. But as long as there's no more than that, it's fine. Oh, yeah, no, I don't want to put my long as there's no more than that it's fine oh yeah no I don't want to put my life story away mate the scenario would go awry for example if you were to say to someone
Starting point is 00:25:10 how was your weekend and they'd be like oh you know what it was a bit of a nightmare well on Friday afternoon and before you know it you're stuck there yeah nobody cares
Starting point is 00:25:17 no one wants that remember that Frankie because I've spent some time in New Zealand I know you guys can be very friendly which is lovely but there's a time
Starting point is 00:25:23 and a fucking place and the UK is not here no that said they are friendlier up north but you are agreeing with me even though you're a northerner
Starting point is 00:25:32 what do you mean as in you're saying I'm right some northern people might say oh well no that's fine I'm not a bit
Starting point is 00:25:37 more chatty I think I spoke about this a little while ago when I was up in Manchester working a gig and I forgot how lovely everyone is.
Starting point is 00:25:46 Right. And I feel sad talking to you and you're like, ugh. It's funny because when I go to visit my wife's family
Starting point is 00:25:53 in New England, I'll occasionally go out for a run because it's lovely around there and there's loads of places to go running. Every single person you see will say hello to you
Starting point is 00:26:01 or wave. Mad, isn't it? Yeah. In London, it's like, even if you're running in London and another runner comes past and they don't even acknowledge you, let will say hello to you. Yeah. Or wave. Mad, isn't it? Yeah. In London, it's like, even if you're running in London and another runner comes past, I don't even acknowledge you,
Starting point is 00:26:08 let alone say hello. The only caveat is if you've got a dog. Oh, right. Dogs will, because I mean, I guess you have to to pass the time, but walking around with a dog is like the best icebreaker.
Starting point is 00:26:18 Definitely. Definitely. So if you want to get friends, grab yourself a dog. I'm just making a note of this for the synopsis, otherwise I'll forget. Grab yourself a dog. All dogs come from a note of this for the synopsis, otherwise I'll forget. Grab yourself a dog.
Starting point is 00:26:26 All dogs come from Dog-a-land, of course. Yes, Dog-a-land. Yeah. And that's where Stan Cullen was from as well. Yeah. And block out of EastEnders. Phil Mitchell, not Phil Mitchell. Steve McFadden.
Starting point is 00:26:37 Yeah, he was a big figure in that, wasn't he? Was it? Yeah, it was. And was it not the girl who played, the woman who plays Kathy got busted in a Range Rover? Yeah, that wasn't dogging though. She was having sex outside. Like Katie Hopkins.
Starting point is 00:26:48 Where did you draw the line though? What do you mean? Where did you draw the line? You can have sex outside. Yeah, I know that. With one person. But like, waiting around in a car park
Starting point is 00:26:55 for someone to fuck. I mean, that's a very different situation. So there's the line. Just ask the question. That's fine. Good to know. People listening will now know that,
Starting point is 00:27:01 won't they? Not everyone is as well versed in the sort of subcultures of our country as you are, Peter. Not everyone can drive, so I've never got involved. Not everyone's on... How do I flash my headlights if I don't have any headlights? You have to get two ones that you get from buying. Click, click.
Starting point is 00:27:17 Walk into a known dog in car park with two torches, start flashing them on and off. Have you got a car? Yes. Not everyone's on the bleeding edge like you are, Pete. All right. And it is bleeding. And it will soon become septic.
Starting point is 00:27:30 Right. That's about it for us. Thank you for joining us this afternoon, evening, morning, whenever you... What a way to end. I know, right? What a way to end. It's been real. It's been emotional.
Starting point is 00:27:38 It's been the Luke and Pete show. If you want to get to the show, how can you get in touch? So on Twitter or Instagram, we'd love to hear from you, at Luke and Pete show. In terms of the emails to make a contribution, we would be very grateful for that it's hello at luke and pete show.com one thing that has been really nice is people have been very generous about the show on itunes uh leaving us reviews and all sorts of stuff and people genuinely love the show which is fantastic for us because pete and i enjoy doing it so if you want to find some
Starting point is 00:28:02 time to leave us a review as well assuming you are listening right to the end because you now know it's already an outro so you've probably turned off and skipped on to Pod Save America do that please do do
Starting point is 00:28:11 that and we'll see you next week we'll see you on Monday they had the bloke who does intelligence matters do you know that one on Pod Save America
Starting point is 00:28:19 sponsored by Raytheon on the gate as a guest you mean as a guest yeah he's very ordered they are very good, the Pod7. They're disgusting. Very slick.
Starting point is 00:28:28 It's a Stakhanov product, so we can say that. Enjoy it. Sponsored by Raytheon. Sponsored by Blue Apron. Who I think are responsible for some horrific situations in Yemen. Bye!

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