The Luke and Pete Show - Episode 97: The podcast Mick Hucknall

Episode Date: September 10, 2018

Happy Monday! The Puke and Leek show is back once more for no other reason than we've got nothing better to do, so why not spend half an hour talking about bad poems at tube stations, Keith Moon, listeners stealing Techdecks and video game re-releases?We also take in a few other bits and pieces from *you* the listener, including an extremely insightful missive about crucifixion. What larks!If you want to contribute, you'd be very welcome: [e-mail]***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Luke and Pete show you are very welcome I am the Luke and that man over there is the podcast game Mick Hucknall Mr. Pete Donaldson episode 97 and he decided to Get involved in the Introduction game I have I thought Outrageous I've seen it done 96 times Now's my moment As Martin McCutcheon

Would say This is my moment This is my moment This is my perfect moment Yeah has it thrown you Out of sync Out of kilter A little bit yeah

Okay What happened to Martin McCutcheon Was she in Not sure actually Love actually Do you know what She was doing those Yoga adverts for a while

Oh she was loving The probiotics That's what She was doing those Yogurt adverts for a while Oh she was loving The probiotics That's right She was absolutely Loving them Sorry Martin What do you do these days Yogurt's mainly

Yogurt In the probiotics sphere I was watching A lot of Brooklyn Nine-Nine I have a little routine I go to bed Midnight Watch two Brooklyn Nine-Nines

And then I go to sleep Is it good Yeah The Who's the big guy God why have I forgotten His bloody name I love that guy I've never seen it I can't help it It's the guy It's big guy god why have I forgotten his bloody name I love that guy

I've never seen it I can't help it it's the guy who does the I'm on a boat I'm on a fucking boat that guy isn't it no

you're thinking of he was the old spice he was the old spice guy for the Tim and Eric version Terry Crews no there's a guy no this guy I'm talking about

is a white guy the main guy in Brooklyn Nine-Nine oh sorry Lonely Island yes Lonely Island that's it they used to have a show on an

online TV channel called Channel 101 and they were called they did the Boo which was about Malibu and it was basically a take off of the

OC I think it was very good back in the day that's what propelled them to SNL's attention what was your original point going to be about going

to bed and watching two episodes of Brooklyn Nine-Nine? Terry Crews eats a yoghurt with, eats three different yoghurts with tracking devices in them. He really likes yoghurts. So one and a half minutes in,

we've had tracking devices, yoghurts, Martin McCutcheon, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, the OC. That's what this show's all about. That's what it's all about, isn't it, mate?

If you're new to this show, you are a strange person by jumping in at episode 97, but you're very welcome. We would recommend you go back to the start. I don't think they need to do that. They don't need to, Pete. No.

But we want the sweet, sweet downloads, don't we? A lot of the reference. A lot of the reference. Well, start here and then work backwards. You've always got something to listen to, haven't you? True, yeah. I could do it that way. Might be a bit odd.

It's the sort of Luke and Pete show, a half hour, I guess it's like a half hour bit where we talk about whatever we want and then do some emails from people who've listened in and as part of the luke and pete show community um so you know make yourself at home put your trotters up as danny dyer would say yeah make yourself a hot drink what would your hot drink of choice be right now pete donald bob rill pete would have a bob rill fantasy something a bit um i mean it's basically a little bit like uh what's the japanese one mis, I mean, it's basically a little bit like,

what's the Japanese one? Miso. It's like a British miso, isn't it? Bovril, yeah. In many ways. Bovril is a very hard, as I found, because I try to do this,

a very hard drink to explain to an American. It's a meat broth. Yeah, because when I took Mimi to Fratton Park for the first time to watch a Pompey game, they had Bovril on sale. She was like, what's that? And I was like, well, it's almost like drinking gravy out of a cup,

but not quite. You're very British doing it. The only way we're going to get to the bottom of this is if I buy one, and I'm not prepared to do that. Really? So you waste good Bovril? I would never buy a Bovril anyway. I'm more of a tea man.

Oh. Yeah. I like a Bovril. Anyway, so yeah, so recently on the Luke and Pete show, just to give you guys a little pricey, a little update, we've had Jim Davidson.

Possibly more on him later. The, um, the... Well, it's only a short email. We can jump in, to be honest. Do you want to do it? Yeah, let's break the convention. Shall I set it up and you can deliver the email?

Yeah, right. We set it up by saying that a friend of ours got home from the pub one night in around the late 90s flicked on cable and wireless onto television x or the fancy channel whatever it was to get his 15 minutes free at midnight of softcore pornography he was a teenager uh at the time and he was presented with um jim david I'm Jim Davidson, and welcome to Gay Night, and loads of buff, topless men around him.

Now, no one's ever been able to substantiate that, but he insists that it happened, and I will now hand you over to my esteemed colleague, Mr. Pete Donson. Well, I was so enraptured by this whole story. I find it fascinating. I wonder what the conversation went like at his agency, because he's not known

as being a man with much temperance. I don't know. He's not an accepting man, is he? Didn't we settle on the idea that he might have offended the gay community

and been told to do this as part of his penance? Exactly. That's the only way I can think of it even being possible. So Paul Hazel says, the specifics of gay night

are a bit beyond me but I completely remember chewing in late night and getting exactly the opposite of what I wanted. Jim Davidson and hench oiled up geezers.

Oh he's so hetero Paul Hazel isn't he? So hetero. Don't worry Paul we're not in any doubt now. I would never recall this had you not mentioned it.

Is Paul Hazel an anagram of our friend's name? Maybe. Well listen at least two people have seen it now. I'm so glad it happened though. mentioned it. Is Paul Hazel an anagram of our friend's name? Maybe. Well, listen, at least two people have seen it now. I'm so glad it happened, though.

I mean, two is a corroboration for me. Yeah, fine. We'd like to get more information. The BBC work on two witnesses and then they run with it, don't they? Two sources, yeah.

That's why you rarely see the BBC breaking news these days. Yeah, but also they're very slow on just goal updates. Like, I mean, just do them.

They're slower than Sky Sports and I don't understand why. The conceived wisdom goes that back in the day, in the golden days of media and reporting, if that ever existed, I don't know, everyone would rely on two sources. You get one source in for a bit of information, you get another source to substantiate it and stand it up, and then you'd go with it.

Now, apparently, a lot of media companies have lost their scruples somewhat and gone to a one-source system, Pete. But BBC apparently doggedly, possibly because it's under the terms of the BBC Charter, stick to two sources, and that's why you won't see people breaking news, unless it's David Ornstein about Arsenal famously. So that's how it goes.

I don't know if that's true. But anyway, so Jim Davison was on the show. Not physically. That wouldn't work. Pete don't know if that's true, but anyway, so Jim Davison was on the show. Not physically, that wouldn't work. Pete wouldn't be in a room with him. Because you'd be very similar. The material would be cannibalised, wouldn't it?

Pretty much the same, isn't it? Yeah. We've had a bit of Oliver Reed, didn't we? Last week. Him and Keith Moon, I think,

a bit of that chat. I walked past the house in which Keith Moon died recently. I think you might have mentioned that. Oh did I? Sorry. It was in London. Because walked past the house in which Keith Moon died recently. I think you might have mentioned that. Oh did I? Sorry. It was in London

because I thought he died in LA but you told me he died in London. It was just near Park Lane. But I think I looked at it on

Google Maps and I think this week I've actually walked past it or driven past it. Isn't it funny how back in those days like the 60s and

70s particularly artists who one could earn money, but two, could also live in parts of London, which would be unthinkable now. Jimi Hendrix's old house is off of Oxford Street. Yeah, it's amazing, isn't it? Yeah. And also, I guess the rents were a little bit cheaper.

I actually know a person who used to live just off Oxford Street, just off Regent Street, in fact. And she was, so basically my friend used to live in a house owned by an old madam whose client base used to, on occasion, service the late, great Jimi Hendrix. Right. But these stories are being lost, like, because these people are just

getting older and older and this fascinating old lady um she ran uh she ran a place in the 70s and um she was robbed uh in the last 10 years and she managed to with a broken ankle um like basically trick the burglars into getting on the roof and then she locked the door and they said two burglars on the roof what year was this? probably about 10 years ago now amazing this woman they'd attacked her she'd fallen down some stairs

and she'd still managed to mug him off because she's a right hard hard case that's excellent good for her we talked about Mick Jagger having a son

I think younger than his great granddaughter we talked about more stuff about dads borrowing shit from work and by borrowing we do mean stealing.

That's been a rich theme, hasn't it, Pete? Definitely. Bit of MasterChef, bit of white chocolate, and a bit of chicken shops. Nice. That's what I took out of the last couple of shows. So I thought, consider yourselves now brought up to speed. What have you been reading about this week?

I read about a guy who decided that Londoners don't smile enough on the tube. Those types of videos. So I'm going to start on September the 26th a big campaign to help Londoners smile on the tube. He's presumably been killed. Well, I presume. 27-year-old starter, please don't punch me in the face campaign.

Please don't kick me on the tracks campaign. No one needs that. I am a Londoner, sorry UP. If London was a nation, we would have been able to take citizenship by now because we've lived here for long enough and all that kind of stuff. So we are really naturalised Londoners. I don't think it is that Londoners are rude.

I just think they've just got stuff to do. Yes. And they want to get there. Yeah. And pricks be pricks. I don't have time for the tottenham court road fucking funny the tcr guys who do the chippy little fucking whiteboard drawings and writings is it too is it too much in wackiness territory too whimsical too middle class

too bake off too safe too white too bullshit they also do it outside the O2, and they do little sort of shit poems where, it's not even poems, it's not even wordplay, they just literally write sentences, including the artist who is playing at the O2's song titles. That's a nice touch though, isn't it? It's shite, Luke. It's a nice touch.

If I had my way, this office would be full of motivational quotes. It would, but you wouldn't let me. The reason I won't do them is because you'll pull them down. I'll pull them down, yeah. I know, and so I know that. That cat hanging in there on the old light washing line, hang in there, I'll pull it down. That was going to be my first choice.

That's the thing, see, I know you so well, and it's depressing, I know you so well that I won't even think about doing that because I know that you'll just get rid of them and it'll be a waste of money and time. I spent £75 putting your face on cushions around this office. I mean, that's not motivational, you'll just get rid of them and it'll be a waste of money and time. I spent £75 putting your face on cushions around this office. I mean,

that's not motivational. It's just weird. No, but you let it happen. I let it happen. No, you've not got rid of them. That says a lot about you.

Because you waste a lot of money. That's why you're the podcast game Henry Winkler slash the podcast game Mick Hucknall because you love

looking at pictures of yourself. You literally put a lot of pictures of me. I'm sat on one now, look. There's you with an elephant. I'm sat on that on the cushion. I wasn't handsome at 22, 21. You literally put a lot of pictures of me. I'm sat on one now, look. There's you with an elephant.

I'm sat on that on the cushion. I wasn't handsome at 22, 21. You were alright actually, yeah. You weren't too bad, quite chiselled.

What have I been reading about? Oh no, just on the London Tube thing, just very quickly. It takes 45 minutes to get anywhere. For those of you listening who aren't in London

or don't frequent London, it takes 45 minutes to get anywhere. And we've got to do it each way, every day. For me, it takes me an hour to get from my house to this studio.

Always bang... Whether it's a 20-minute journey, always give yourself an hour. To get anywhere, whether it's a taxi, in heavy traffic, everything takes around about an hour.

So I'm head down. I've probably got headphones in. I'm either reading the book or I'm listening to something. I don't want to make niceties with anyone unless... Possible exception, the fact they've got a dog. Yeah, I'm head down. I've probably got headphones in. I'm either reading the book or I'm listening to something. I don't want to make niceties with anyone unless possible exception the fact

they've got a dog. Yeah I'm happy to talk to someone if I've got a dog and that is just that. But like I help if someone looks a

bit lost I'll always sort of say you're right. I helped a I think Chinese man out last week when I came back from doing the ramble.

Yeah. What was the situation? He was confused about how to get to the southbound Victoria line in Euston. Euston's a shit show on the tube. The north bank branch next to the northbound Victoria line, it doesn't make any sense to people coming into the country. It doesn't make any sense at all.

It's much more coherent than the New York subway. Is it? My God, you look at the coherent than the New York subway. Is it? My God. You look at the map on the New York subway and it will say you get that train. And then the tiniest print it will say, but not Thursday's after two. And you look at the clock and it's Thursday,

it's 4pm. Yeah, but I find the New York subway a little bit more reliable in that they work on the tracks while trains are just wanging back. Because I think it's 24 hours. Yeah. It's not 24 hours, but it's... No, I think it is. I think it's 24 hours. Yeah. It's not 24 hours, but it's...

No, I think it is. I think it's certain lines are, I think. What? Yeah, I know. The other mistake not to make on the tube train on the subway

in New York City is not when the train's pulling and go, oh, that one's empty, I'm going to get on that. The reason that one's empty, literally empty, is one,

because either the air condition is broken or there's some sort of mad person on it and people want to avoid it. Tourist me just gets on there, oh, it's bloody hot in there and there's a mad person there.

Great. Anyway, to answer your question, have I told you that I'm having my garden landscaped? Yes, you have. You're talking about the tree

and the Wichita lineman, the loneliness of the cutter. Well, that was the tree surgeon working on the tree, not the garden. Working on the cutter. Sparrow's the cutter. Spar that was the tree surgeon working on the tree, not the gardener. Working on the cutter. Sparrows the cutter.

Sparrows the cutter. Echo and the Bunnymen. Yeah, I actually saw Echo and the Bunnymen. I saw Echo and the Bunnymen once. And what's the name of the lead singer? Ian McCulloch. Ian McCulloch. He was pissed.

Yeah. Mortally pissed. Yeah. And bearing in mind Echo and the Bunnymen are quite a sort of atmospheric band that inspire a lot of passion in people. Yeah. And they're one of those bands

if you like them you love them, right? And they played at a festival and I think it was getting on for sort of dusk so it was quite a nice environment. And Ian McCulloch, pissed, changed the words

to pretty much every song to You'll Never Walk Alone and talked about how much he loved Liverpool the whole time. So that ruined it for pretty much everyone I don't even like him

that much but for me it was quite annoying yeah it's quite indulgent isn't it I like that a lot have I told you the story

about Neil Young doing something similar what are you pissed Neil Young at his worst is known as being very cantankerous right

and I might have told you this but anyway just indulge me very quickly and he came on and played a big show but he insisted is known as being very cantankerous right yeah and um i might have told you this but anyway just indulge me very quickly and he came on and played a big show and but he insisted that he wasn't going to play any of the songs that people knew yeah he just wanted to play songs on an album that hadn't yet come out right so anyway he goes on and plays they play like three or four songs no one knows any of them i mean it probably turned out to be a classic album after the gold rush or something

but at the point no one knew the songs so he plays plays plays everyone's getting getting fine this is all right it's neil young but you know don't really know any of the songs um can you play cinema girl no all right fine anyway the very last song he says right here's one you might have heard before and he just plays the song he played first again oh no it just walks off iankerous. It's brilliant because people have paid. Yeah. They've actually paid for it. What I like about it is that his MP3 player went to dust. His HD MP3 player.

I think we might have even talked about that. I will not have you disrespecting Pono on this show. Pono! Absolutely dreadful. It's obvious if his judgement just isn't there. Yeah, it's almost like he hasn't lived in the real world for about 40 years. And he comes out with this piece of shit. He's Neil Young, though.

Banana-looking nonsense. But the sound quality is very good. The sound quality is very good. Exactly. So let's not... I'd sort of go... I'd like to sort of interview him and go, Neil, I've got myself a Pono, and I'm really pleased,

but I just have one of those really cheap Apple iPod earbuds. Yeah. So, yeah, I can really hear the quality. Yeah. And play it really loud so it's all bleeding out. cheap Apple iPod earbuds. Yeah. So yeah, I can really hear the quality. Yeah. And play it really loud so it's all bleeding out. And just very quickly

on the garden landscape thing, I've got, there's these three Polish guys. Actually, no, four Polish guys now doing the garden. That's a lot of people.

Lovely chaps. Yeah, they're trying to get it. That's a lot of tea you've got to make. Well, this is exactly my point. So I made coffees and teas the other morning

and I put a packet of hobnobs chopped chip hobnobs the best ones what out there with them I'll get this out of the way so we can go for a break

it's a mystery right I put the packet of hobnobs out there right they buried it took them out and a hobnob tree

no a hobnob tree grew all in my garden no and anyway so they drank the coffee and the tea I got home from work so they drank the coffee and the tea I got home from work

and they drank the coffee and the tea and the biscuits was all gone and I was like okay fine next day I made tea and coffee

another load of biscuits and as I took them down the main gardener who speaks the best English said oh no it's okay we don't need the biscuits none of us really like sweet things

and I was like well hang on a minute. You ate all the biscuits yesterday. I didn't say that because I was British and awkward. And since then they've insisted on not eating any biscuits. Yeah, but they presumably ate all the biscuits and then went, we ate too many biscuits. British biscuits are rubbish.

Biscuits. Biscuits. I'm going to Google Polish biscuits. I also gave them a beer at the end of the day and they were very happy about that anyway that's enough of that

yeah Polish biscuit brands Jizuki Takotsky Delicie that's how you pronounce Jammy Dodgers your pronunciation

is excellent it's good isn't it yeah very good Takotsky should we go for an ad break and come back and when we come back we'll talk about people's emails. Prince Paul or...

All right, then. The problem appears to be that we haven't got our photo ID to try and travel to Scotland, which, as far as I can remember, was in the British Isles. What can we do? We're utterly hamstrung by these thick-headed people wearing orange suits. Dr Gerard.

Favourite guy ever, that guy. Amazing guy. Speaking about making a tree that only has hobnobs on it, do you remember Green Claws? Yes, I do, yeah. Wasn't very good, was it? I quite liked it. You would get weird-shaped seeds, right? Yeah, and you'd plant them,

and he was helped possibly hindered by a mechanical owl. Yes, and a girl who lived in there. Toot, toot, toot, toot, toot. The green claws live in the greenhouse, and the woman lived in the house. Yes. She'd go and visit him. Was he like a caterpillar or something?

He was this horrible kind of like... Big caterpillar. He looked like the sort of person you'd see on the sofa doing the horoscopes in the mid-nights on TV AM. I would, yes. There's a certain

Biggins-esque kind of look to him. You're specifically referencing Russell Grant there. Yeah, pretty much. I would feel, I mean I haven't seen it

as an adult but I would probably be tempted to file green claws among charming TV shows I watched as a child that are now terrifying.

Yeah, exactly. Another one of those, Dizzy Heights Hotel. Do you remember that? Oh, I remember the feature. Where it's two like Mr. Tumble type characters

who ran a hotel, two guys, but there were permanent residents in the hotel that were puppets. Awful, terrifying puppets. It was horrendous.

For some reason, I just got the theme tune in my head about a week ago. I YouTubed it, and I couldn't get through five minutes of it. It was creepy. So creepy, but as a kid, I loved it.

Alfonso Bonzo, all that weird shit that was like the late 80s, early 90s. Very, very strange. Speaking of weird shit, should we do emails? All right, then. Do you want to do one first?

Let's reminisce about Puddle Lane for a bit. Okay, let's get to emails. Oh, Puddle Lane, I remember that, yeah. We've got an email from Jack talking about, well, tech decks and thievery. Long time listener, first one writing in. Thank you, Jack, for that. Following our discussion on tech decks,

the tiny finger skate buzzer dug up a memory that has been long suppressed. It was my first time going out with some friends from comprehensive school, so early year 7, around 11, 12 years old, thinking these guys were a lovely bunch of lads, and decided to tag along on their

jaunt to the Metro Centre, which is a shopping centre in the North East, near me. Cut to 30 minutes into the visit, they got to Woolworths and proceeded to steal tech decks from their packaging. Whoa! Whoa! Me being an innocent child, did they steal the little screwdriver and the spare wheels? I was like, I want to know.

We have to have done, don't we? Me being an innocent child, I pretended to get a phone call and left the store to hide from the inevitable criminal charges. Five minutes later, they walk out as if nothing happened. Their next stop was Toys R Us. Their reign of terror continued. Due to the stress this was causing my young mind,

I decided that these friends weren't for me and made a hasty getaway. Perhaps this level of petty theft from pre-teens is the reason these chains went out of business. Possibly, Jack, possibly. Hello at Luke and Pete's show. Tell us the biggest thing you've stolen. Ha ha!

Well, we don't endorse that, but yeah, fuck it. We don't endorse it. We just want to talk about it. I did all my thievery in primary school. I think I spoke about it before. I stole a lot of books from the lady who came around and sold her books. I mean, it's a weird little racket, but they had basically, you could buy like Roald Dahl books from a woman who came around.

They have that in the reception here, don't they? Yeah, occasionally, yeah. In the school, this woman would just come around with a selection of books and you'd buy them with cash. What, and you used to steal them? I found out where they were kept and I just stole a lot. On that note. I don't kept and I just stole a lot. On that note... I don't know how I got caught, actually.

You know, a show from our stable, Berkhamstead Revisited, one of the Laura's on there, it's presented by two girls called Laura. One of them said that at her first festival she went to, she stole a fur coat from a charity store. That's not great, is it? It's bad, yeah. But I think teenage girls

in particular, there's less of a right to passage for teenage boys I think to steal stuff, but teenage girls, lipstick in the pocket, bit of eyeliner, lovely old job.

Yeah. Yeah. I think she did used to steal makeup as well. I think she was like a proper klepto back in the day. A few of my mates got busted stealing

blank tapes from Woolworths when we were kids. That's joyless, isn't it? Yeah. What's the point? That's the point where you think it's just to show off, isn't it?

There's no real benefit out of that. No, exactly. You're not stealing food to feed your children, you know. Anyway, speaking of, actually, no, not speaking of this at all. Pete, do you remember

a long-term, well, slightly longer-term listeners will remember that you had some confusion around how Jesus Christ who I think you're familiar

with now actually passed away it was a brief blip and it shouldn't really have happened in Catholic school but we were more as I said at the time

we were more dedicated to the stories of Caesarea Philippi and the transubstantiation and stuff yeah it doesn't matter but John transfiguration John not John the Baptist I don't think has been kind enough caesarea philippi and the transubstantiation and stuff so yeah it doesn't matter i mean but john

transfiguration john not john the baptist i think has been kind enough to email in thanks john a bit more information a bit more meat on the bones if that's not too too gross he says hi guys i'm a listener from the very start and religiously listened since see what he's done there um for first time emailer on episode 94 the last episode, at time of emailing, Luke mentioned that Peter had gone on record to state he wasn't sure how Jesus died. Anyhow,

fascinating fact that I learnt not too long ago is that the actual cause of death from crucifixion is a little different than you may first think when you are crucified. Not that you would be,

hopefully, crucified these days. It's not through blood loss from being nailed to the cross. Yeah, I reckon it would start clotting quite quickly around the nails. Apparently, nor is it by dehydration or starvation, although I'm sure all these things are a contributory factor. But the actual cause of death is asphyxiation,

or to be more precise, positional asphyxiation. This happens due to the position the person is placed in. As the arms are outstretched, this makes all of the pectoral muscle tight allowing for little room for the chest to rise and fall also putting strain on the intercostal muscles between your ribs as the body slumps forward further the diaphragm struggles to draw in the required oxygen and eventually you die although a morbid topic i've listened to a lot of fascinating facts over the episodes and thought this might just sneak into that category so that's how you die um if you are crucified nailed to a cross so at what point did medicine and um crucifixion uh find that out because obviously crucifixion doesn't really go on

anymore um and where did medical science come into that when was last crucifixion when was the last crucifixion there was also aren't there a group of fairly, I mean, hopefully it's not too unfair to call them fanatical people who every year, I think it might be in the Philippines, you know,

they do literally crucify themselves for like an hour to get close, in quotes, close to Christ and they eventually get pulled down again. So that actually, I

think that still goes on because weirdly enough, Pete, I think you might be aware of this, didn't Dominic Diamond of all people do a documentary about it? Oh, I don't know. I think he might have aware of this, didn't Dominic Diamond of all people do a documentary about it? Oh, I don't know.

I think he might have done. Oh, really? About religious people who still crucify themselves to get close to Christ only for a time and actually kill themselves. But generally speaking, you're right.

I mean, my pectoral muscles are non-existent, so I'd die in record time, I think. I think I'd be dead after a couple of minutes. It won't surprise you to learn that crucifixion is still legal in the UAE. Okay, right. And in March 2013,

a robbery was set to be executed by crucifixion for three days in Saudi Arabia. In March what? March 2013. Not that long ago, is it? No, not really.

I mean, that's five years ago. It's a bit closer confidently. Yeah, yeah. Oh, dear. And by the way, John finishes the email by, I mean, that's a disgrace, but John finishes it Luke yeah oh dear and by the way John finishes the email I mean that's a disgrace

but John finishes the email by saying keep up the good work you make my 46 mile round commute a little faster every I wonder what

who of our listeners has got the longest commute I'd love to know that get in touch hello at lukeandpetecher.com a friend of mine I was reminded of this last weekend very good friend of mine, I was reminded of this last weekend,

a very good friend of mine, he used to live where I'm from in a place called Fairham, just next to Gosport where I'm from, and he used to commute to Hampton Court Palace, which is about a two and a half hour drive, I think, with a fair wind, because he was part of a real life

Tudor reenactment job at Hampton Court Palace so he had to commute there dress as a Tudor and be one of those

real life guides and speak like in hello serving wench please pass me my mead I mean that's vocational isn't it yeah he lasted I think

two weeks it was just awful well also I mean you don't wantational, isn't it? Yeah, he'd last, I think, two weeks. It was just awful. Well, also, I mean, you don't want to dress at home and then drive your car in

because if someone spots you. Dressed as a bard. Dressed as a bard. Dressed as a minstrel. I know someone who commutes in from Bournemouth to London.

I mean, that's a schlep, isn't it? That's an unlikable schlep. Sure, not, are we talking office hours here? Yeah,

we're talking office hours, yeah. What time's he set off? It's terrible, isn't it? Apparently, an unlikable schlep. Sure, not. Are we talking office hours here? Yeah, we're talking office hours, yeah. What time's he set off? It's terrible, isn't it? Apparently, there are some people who leave from the Isle of Wight to go to London. I mean, that's stupid. You'd have to have your own... You may as well just get your own speedboat and just go around to Southend. Southend's still like an hour and a half from London.

Just drive it. No, no, but like... We'll drive up the Thames. More up at the Thames barrier. Yeah, exactly. You're laughing. Bobbing around. Yeah.

I wonder if anybody commutes by boat into London with their own boat whenever you go to the Isle of Wight for the festival in my mind it seems to take you

like all day yeah more than anything else the hotel and also the Isle of Wight festival is at the completely the wrong side

of the actual island it's not really a ride at all which is silly really okay yeah so the longest commute hello at lukeandpeatshow.com

and God bless you God bless you because I couldn't do it God bless you we got an email from Damien to the Luke and to the Pete the magical 100th episode

is on the horizon paint us a picture about what you guys have planned for it anything spectacular Pete to get a commemorative tattoo for the occasion maybe as a listener since episode one i can't believe i've been on this journey with you guys for so long that speaks volumes about my life but i feel i'm far more

wise and educated about the world in doing so i mean you're almost certainly not yeah it's a low bar isn't it how much pete would what situation when was the last execution uh 2013 march saudi arabia crucifixion nice that's what wasn't the last execution sorry uh execution by crucifixion nice that wasn't the last execution sorry execution by crucifixion if you've learned whoever that email is

if you've learned nothing more than it's the fact that Pete can't even get the questions right let me answer them Pete what would what situation

would need to arise for you to get a Luke and Pete show tattoo to commemorate the 100th episode I mean it's not even one of our more

successful podcasts but it wouldn't be your worst tattoo no it wouldn't be my worst tattoo what is your worst tattoo I No, it wouldn't be my worst tattoo. What is your worst tattoo? I've got Manny Calavera from the video game Grim Fandango on my leg. It's pretty.

I got it done in a restaurant in Berlin. Oh, that one there? Yeah. I never knew who that was. It was a cafe. He's kind of like a Day of the Dead kind of detective in a video game. It's a good game. It's a Tim Schafer

sort of Lucasfilm game from the late 90s early 90s what platform we're mainly talking PC it was re-released

a few months ago for all the majors but mainly PC 486 baby did you go back down and get involved or did you go back into the trenches

and have a look at the reissue I did yeah I didn't like the tank controls because I preferred like a more holistic approach to Manny Calavera's movement. And it turns out a lot of games from the 90s are a bit shit.

You had a lot of strong opinions about the remake and re-release of Shenmue, didn't you? I did, yeah. In the same month that Shenmue 1 and 2 got re-released for PS4, the same month that Shenmue 1 and 2 got re-released for PS4. They also re-released Yakuza 2, Yakuza Kiwami 2, and that was the high bar for re-releases and re-duxing, but very much Shenmue was not.

30-second drinking animation. Who needs that in their life? No one. Japanese art role-playing games, they're long enough. You don't need to wait 30 seconds while you watch fucking Ryo Suzuki drink a fucking catacomb. Or open a capsule toy, a gachapon. Today's instant society, today's low attention spans mean that those type of games are now obsolete.

Oh, I can't do a Japanese role-playing game, even the new ones. I just like, stop talking! I can't do Football Manager for that reason. No, Football Manager's quite good. Talk to me about football manager touch I'm happy with that play the touch version or the cut down version

for the PC that's quite fun because just all of that nuts and bolts all the real sort of neck beardy stuff I don't want to my gaming experience

should not involve like a 45 minute heated meeting with Dedrick Boyata about his training regime yeah I don't care. And then all the players pile in

and they're upset about how you treated Boyata. Yeah. So shut up. I remember once playing Football Manager, the full version, a couple of years ago

and I thought, you know what, I'll give myself the Barcelona job. And it was like 2014 or something. Gave myself the Barcelona job, went through all the stuff you have to go through. First pre-season friendly,

picked the team, played the format, the traditional Barcelona formation as best as I could sort of articulate it to the game. Went on the pitch, right? I swear I'm not making this up. They were three and a half time.

So you know you have to do the old half-time team talk. Yeah. So I get the half-time team talk and I press a button that says, all right, lads, great first half, but don't get complacent. Yeah. Right I press a button that says alright lads great first half but don't get complacent

right press that everyone piled in everyone went down down down down down angry angry angry angry I was fired

before the first game of the season because they they got so upset about it that seems a little strange did you win the match in the end I think so yeah

the pre-season friendly but after that I couldn't get any of the players to play for me. That's the problem though. Barcelona, it's a big job. Newcastle United, less so.

I think the mistake I made though, Peter, is I think when you set yourself up as a manager you can put your own reputation in, can't you? So if you put yourself in as an international football player

then you get a lot more latitude, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. You can't put yourself in as just no one and manage Barcelona you don't get

you don't even get to the first game of the season anyway let's get out of here I really wanted to ask you about Stewie Donaldson but I'll do that on Thursday alright then

let's get out of here we'll see you later in the week thanks for getting in touch if you did indeed get in touch and if you'd like to do so it's hello at lukeandpeachow.com we're all off to listen to

the best of Simply Red if you didn't get in touch why didn't you why are you so shy Pete show.com. We're all off to listen to the best of simply read. If you didn't get in touch, why didn't you? Why are you so shy? What have you got to hide? Prick. One of four from the stars.